good consent more challenging?

Is there subtle pressure to

“give in to” sex on either person’s part, for fear of some sort
of negative social, emotional, sexual, or physical consequence?
Perhaps one lacks the confidence to say “no” and feels—or is
made to feel—as though their rejection of their potential-lov-
er is unreasonable, immature, or unfair. Deconstructing subtly
coercive power dynamics relies heavily on careful introspec-
tion and good-faith communication.

When a “Yay” Becomes a “Nay”

Consent can be withdrawn at any time, for any reason. By
definition, the refusal to cease performing physical, sexual, or
BDSM-related acts on others after consent has been withdrawn
is sexual assault. But how might one know (other than hearing
a direct “no”) that one’s date, lover, partner, or submissive no
longer desires certain acts being performed on them that they
typically delight in, or to which they are seemingly consent-
ing? Checking in verbally with one’s partner(s) throughout the
sexual encounter or BDSM scene and paying careful attention
to body language are some wonderful ways to help keep things
intentional and consensual, resulting in everyone involved feel-
ing cared for, listened to, and safe. Good instances in which to
check in are: when one is switching from touching one part of
the body to another, in between performing a series of various
sex acts, when those involved end up “going further” together
than what was previously agreed upon, or when one might like
to try out something completely new on or with their sweet-
heart. Some body language cues that might betray a lack of en-
thusiastic consent include: “freezing up,” unresponsiveness, cry-
ing, looking away, squirming, or resisting in ways that are not a
pre-agreed form of sexual play in the lovers’ dynamic.
. 129 .