LIVING IN A TOXIC MARRIGE

After watching the movie “Khuda ke liye” the topic that triggered my mind was
how women are forced into toxic relationships just for the sake of family honor
and dignity in the society. It has been observed that women are usually forced to
stay in marriages even if the mutual relationship between husband wife can not be
withstood by any means. This ends up in either the death of women or destroying
her life forever. Parents usually force their daughters to stay in abusive marriages
and a narrative that a women can fix a deranged man with her love is has become a
mantra that parents make their daughters follow. This is a major issue in our
society and a reason due to which the suicide rates of women have been increasing
alarmingly.
A toxic marriage is just like a relationship between a parasite and its host. A
parasite resides inside its host and slowly eats up the host from inside leaving it
hollow with nothing left. This parasitism is what breaks a marriage hollow and
makes it toxic for both the spouses. Misunderstandings, doubts, inner battles, outer
influences and forced relationships are the parasites that eat up a pure relationship
and leave nothing but hatred and regrets behind.

THE PROBLEM:
Any relationship where the partners don't support one another is poisonous.
Instead, one person is constantly attempting to make the other look bad. Instead of
feeling supported, there is a sense of competition. Positive experiences are quite
rare compared to negative ones. In toxic relationships, there are always arguments
because of the disrespect, nastiness, and general lack of cooperation. It's a worrying
sign if you frequently apologize because your partner takes offence at the little
things you say or do. This kind of overreaction might eventually exhaust your
emotions and harm your self-esteem. A spouse in a healthy relationship doesn't
react irrationally to little things.
People who are married tend to live longer, have better health, and heal from
illnesses more rapidly. However, the opposite is also true. Studies have
demonstrated that marital dispute has an impact on a couple's physical and mental
health. A toxic relationship's stress can cause a number of symptoms, such as sleep
problems, eating changes, and reduced immunity.
An increased prevalence of mental health issues, such as depression and alcohol
abuse, has been linked to marital strife. Relationships that are toxic can result in a
range of mental health problems, including:

a low sense of self

Insecurity
Fear Helplessness
Anxiety
Depression
Paranoia

SOLUTION:
A marriage is a complex relationship, and if you feel like you are living with a toxic person, the best way
to fix it is to get professional help. Couples therapy with a trained psychologist can help you and your
partner gain insight into the toxic behavior patterns that are harming your marriage. The therapist will
take a sensitive approach and help your partner understand how their toxic behaviors affect you. For
couples in toxic relationships, professional counseling is often necessary to salvage the marriage.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, a relationship is damaged beyond repair. If you can’t fix it, it’s
advisable to get out. But ending toxic relationships is not easy.

Aim to become independent (this includes everything from earning a living to learning how to change a
light bulb).

If you’re thinking of ending a toxic marriage, plan for the transition (where to stay, what to take, etc.).

Confide in friends and family members (the time for secrets is gone; tell trustworthy people about your
plans and get their advice; if you feel your safety is at risk, contact the authorities).

Seek professional help from a counselor (you can use all the help you can get).

Once you’ve decided to leave, don’t tell your partner about it until necessary as they could emotionally
blackmail you into staying.

Be kind to yourself. A toxic marriage is an extremely difficult thing to go through. Allow yourself time to
heal. Focus on hobbies and friends or take that trip you’ve always dreamed about.

END