Etextbook 978 1305645349 Cengage Advantage Books Looking Out Looking in 15th Edition

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Looking In 15th Edition
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contents
Preface x
About the Authors 1
1
A FIRST LOOK AT INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION 3
Why We Communicate 5
Physical Needs 5
Identity Needs 6
Social Needs 6
Practical Goals 7
The Process of Communication 8
A Linear View 9
A Transactional View 10
Interpersonal and Impersonal Communication 13
Communication Principles and Misconceptions 16
Communication Principles 16
Communication Misconceptions 18
What Makes an Effective Communicator? 19
Communication Competence Defined 20
Characteristics of Competent Communicators 21
Competence in Intercultural Communication 26
Summary 30
Key Terms 31
Part I Looking In
2
iNTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND
SOCIAL MEDIA 33
Mediated versus Face-to-Face Communication 34
Similarities between Mediated and Face-to-Face Communication 35
Differences between Mediated and Face-to-Face Communication 36
Consequences of Mediated Communication 38
Benefits and Drawbacks of Mediated Communication 41
Benefits of Mediated Communication 41
Drawbacks of Mediated Communication 45
Influences on Mediated Communication 51
Gender 51
Age 53
Competence in Social Media 54
Fostering Positive Relationships 54
Protecting Yourself 55
Summary 59
Key Terms 59
iv
Copyright 2017 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
CONTENTS v
3
COMMUNICATION AND IDENTITY: CREATING AND PRESENTING THE SELF 61
Communication and the Self 62
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem 62
Biological and Social Roots of the Self 64
Characteristics of the Self-Concept 68
Culture, Gender, and Identity 71
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication 74
Presenting the Self: Communication as Impression Management 76
Public and Private Selves 77
Characteristics of Impression Management 77
Why Manage Impressions? 80
Face-to-Face Impression Management 81
Online Impression Management 82
Impression Management and Honesty 84
Self-Disclosure in Relationships 85
Models of Self-Disclosure 86
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure 89
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure 91
Alternatives to Self-Disclosure 94
Silence 95
Lying 95
Equivocating 96
Hinting 98
The Ethics of Evasion 99
Summary 100
Key Terms 101
4
PERCEPTION: WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET 103
The Perception Process 105
Selection 105
Organization 106
Interpretation 109
Negotiation 111
Influences on Perception 112
Access to Information 113
Physiological Influences 113
Cultural Differences 115
Social Roles 117
Common Tendencies in Perception 120
We Judge Ourselves More Charitably Than We Judge Others 120
We Cling to First Impressions 120
We Assume That Others Are Similar to Us 121
We Are Influenced by Our Expectations 122
We Are Influenced by the Obvious 123
Perception Checking 123
Elements of Perception Checking 123
Perception-Checking Considerations 124
Empathy, Cognitive Complexity, and Communication 126
Empathy 128
Cognitive Complexity 129
Summary 136
Key Terms 137
vi CONTENTS
5
EMOTIONS: FEELING, THINKING, AND COMMUNICATING 139
What Are Emotions? 140
Physiological Factors 141
Nonverbal Reactions 141
Cognitive Interpretations 143
Verbal Expression 144
Influences on Emotional Expression 145
Personality 145
Culture 146
Gender 147
Social Conventions 148
Social Media 149
Emotional Contagion 150
Guidelines for Expressing Emotions 151
Recognize Your Feelings 152
Recognize the Difference between Feeling, Talking, and Acting 153
Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary 153
Share Multiple Feelings 155
Consider When and Where to Express Your Feelings 155
Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings 157
Be Mindful of the Communication Channel 158
Managing Emotions 158
Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions 158
Sources of Debilitative Emotions 159
Irrational Thinking and Debilitative Emotions 164
Minimizing Debilitative Emotions 169
Maximizing Facilitative Emotions 173
Summary 175
Key Terms 175
PART II Looking Out
6
LANGUAGE: BARRIER AND BRIDGE 177
Language Is Symbolic 179
Understandings and Misunderstandings 180
Understanding Words: Semantic Rules 180
Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules 183
Understanding Context: Pragmatic Rules 184
The Impact of Language 185
Naming and Identity 186
Affiliation 188
Power and Politeness 189
Disruptive Language 191
The Language of Responsibility 193
Gender and Language 198
Content 198
Reasons for Communicating 200
Conversational Style 200
Nongender Variables 201
CONTENTS vii
Culture and Language 203

Verbal Communication Styles 203
Language and Worldview 206
Summary 209
Key Terms 209
7
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION: MESSAGES BEYOND WORDS 211
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 212
Nonverbal Communication Defined 212
Nonverbal Skills Are Vital 213
All Behavior Has Communicative Value 213
Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational 214
Nonverbal Communication Occurs in Mediated Messages 215
Nonverbal Communication Serves Many Functions 216
Nonverbal Communication Offers Deception Clues 218
Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous 220
Influences on Nonverbal Communication 222
Gender 222
Culture 222
Types of Nonverbal Communication 225
Body Movement 225
Voice 230
Touch 233
Appearance 235
Physical Space 236
Physical Environment 238
Time 239
Summary 241
Key Terms 241
8
LISTENING: MORE THAN MEETS THE EAR 243
Listening Defined 245
Hearing versus Listening 245
Mindless Listening 246
Mindful Listening 247
Elements in the Listening Process 247
Hearing 247
Attending 248
Understanding 249
Responding 249
Remembering 249
The Challenge of Listening 251
Types of Ineffective Listening 251
Why We Don’t Listen Better 253
Meeting the Challenge of Listening 255
Types of Listening Responses 257
Prompting 257
Questioning 259
Paraphrasing 261
Supporting 264
Analyzing 269
viii CONTENTS
Advising 269
Judging 270
Choosing the Best Listening Response 273
Summary 275
Key Terms 275
Part III Looking At Relational Dynamics
9
COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 277
Why We Form Relationships 278
Appearance 278
Similarity 279
Complementarity 280
Reciprocal Attraction 281
Competence 281
Disclosure 281
Proximity 282
Rewards 282
Models of Relational Dynamics 283
A Developmental Perspective 283
A Dialectical Perspective 291
Characteristics of Relationships 296
Relationships Are Constantly Changing 296
Relationships Are Affected by Culture 297
Communicating about Relationships 297
Content and Relational Messages 299
Types of Relational Messages 300
Metacommunication 302
Maintaining Interpersonal Relationships 302
Social Support 303
Repairing Damaged Relationships 304
Summary 309
Key Terms 309
10
Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships 311
Intimacy in Close Relationships 312
Dimensions of Intimacy 312
Masculine and Feminine Intimacy Styles 313
Cultural Influences on Intimacy 316
Intimacy in Mediated Communication 317
The Limits of Intimacy 317
Communication in Families 319
Characteristics of Family Communication 319
Families as Systems 321
Communication Patterns within Families 322
Social Media and Family Communication 325
Communication in Friendships 326
Types of Friendships 326
Sex, Gender, and Friendship 328
Social Media and Friendship 331
CONTENTS ix
Communication in Romantic Relationships 333

Characteristics of Romantic Relationships 333
Romantic Turning Points 336
Couples’ Conflict Styles 338
Languages of Love 338
Social Media and Romantic Relationships 340
Summary 343
Key Terms 343
11
IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 345
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages 346
Levels of Message Confirmation 347
How Communication Climates Develop 351
Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies 355
Face-Threatening Acts 355
Preventing Defensiveness in Others 356
Saving Face 362
The Assertive Message Format 362
Responding Nondefensively to Criticism 367
Summary 377
Key Terms 377
12
MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS 379
The Nature of Conflict 380
Conflict Defined 380
Conflict Is Natural 382
Conflict Can Be Beneficial 382
Conflict Styles 383
Avoiding (Lose–Lose) 384
Accommodating (Lose–Win) 385
Competing (Win–Lose) 386
Compromising (Partial Lose–Lose) 388
Collaborating (Win–Win) 391
Which Style to Use? 392
Conflict in Relational Systems 393
Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles 393
Destructive Conflict Patterns: The Four Horsemen 395
Conflict Rituals 396
Variables in Conflict Styles 398
Gender 398
Culture 399
Constructive Conflict Skills 402
Collaborative Problem Solving 403
Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers 406
Summary 410
Key Terms 411
Endnotes 412
Feature Box Notes 444
Glossary 448
Name Index 454
Subject Index 456
preface
L istening is arguably the most important communication skill of them all. That’s certainly been
true as we developed this new edition of Looking Out Looking In. Listening to our users has
helped us refine the book you’re holding, so it will address the concerns of both professors and
students.
Before we began work on this 15th edition, we asked current and prospective users what
we could do to best meet their needs. They told us they want an introduction to interpersonal
communication that’s clear, engaging, and concise. They said their text must reflect the way
communication operates in today’s world. And it has to be priced fairly.
You spoke, we listened, and you are now seeing the results.
New to This Edition

Users of Looking Out Looking In will find that the new edition has been improved in several ways
while remaining true to the approach that has served more than one million students over four
decades.
• More Affordable Price

We applaud Cengage Learning for making Looking Out Looking In more affordable to make
it more accessible for students, especially at a time when budgets are tight and the costs of
higher education are rising.
• Extensive Coverage of Social Media

The new Chapter 2 is entirely devoted to the role of mediated communication in interpersonal
relationships. Topics include differences between mediated and face-to-face communication,
the benefits and costs of social media, how gender and age influence the uses of mediated
communication, and how to use social media competently to achieve personal and relational goals.
In addition to Chapter 2, new coverage of social media is integrated throughout the
book. Topics include online impression management (Chapter 3), the impact of social media
on emotion perception and expression (Chapter 5), nonverbal communication in mediated
messages (Chapter 6), giving and receiving support online (Chapter 8), how social media
shapes the rise and fall of close relationships (Chapter 9), and the role of social media in
communication in families, friendships, and romantic relationships (Chapter 10).
• New Examples from Popular Culture

This edition is loaded with illustrations—now integrated into every chapter—of how
communication operates in a variety of relationships. Television profiles include comedies
like Louie and Blackish and dramas such as Scandal and House of Cards. Many other profiles
come from popular films including Boyhood, Dear White People, The Imitation Game, and The
Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby. Captioned photos of figures from the news also highlight
how communication principles operate in today’s world.
• New Magazine-Style Readings

Compelling readings have always distinguished Looking Out Looking In. This edition features
a new lineup that shows how principles in the text operate in a wide range of settings and
relationships. New readings explore whether software can communicate competently, how
to juggle commitments with friends and romantic partners, how loneliness can be pervasive
in a hyperconnected world, instagramming to project an idealized identity, saving lives by
texting support, and how posting photos online can strengthen close relationships. Now, each
reading is followed by a series of “Reflect” questions that help readers connect the material
to their everyday lives.
• Research Updates
To reflect the latest communication scholarship, new research is cited throughout the
book. Among the updated and expanded topics addressed are the expression of positive
emotions (Chapter 5), striking a balance between power and politeness (Chapter 6), giving
and receiving social support (Chapter 7), and the communication of love, commitment, and
affection in romantic relationships (Chapter 10).
x
PREFACE xi
Interactive Learning with MindTap Look

MindTap for Looking Out Looking In is a fully online, highly personalized learning experience for the MindTap icon in
built upon Looking Out Looking In. MindTap combines student learning tools—readings,
the pages of Looking
multimedia, activities, and assessments—into a singular Learning Path that guides students
through the course. Instructors personalize the experience by easily customizing the existing
Out Looking In to find
content and learning tools with their own materials. The result: An easy-to-use learning system MindTap resources
that is exactly right for your own unique situation. related to the text.
• Learning Path. The MindTap experience begins with a chapter- specific Learning Path built
around key student objectives. This intuitive navigator guides students to master the subject
matter and provides immediate access to the resources they need along the way. MindTap
delivers a suggested Learning Path right “out of the box,” ready for you to personalize your
course. You control what students see and when they see it. Use it as-is or match to your syl-
labus exactly—hide, rearrange, add, and create your own content. Customize your Learning
Path by:
• changing due dates

• reordering content
• renaming course sections
• moving or hiding chapters you don’t use
• removing unneeded activities
• engaging students by inserting campus- or course-specific resources, like handbooks,
school catalogs, and web links, your favorite videos, activities, current events materials, or
any resource you can upload to the Internet
Students see “Counts for a grade” flags to alert them to assignments due and personalized
resources you add appear inline for a seamless experience that keeps students focused while they
are in your course.
• MindTap Reader. The MindTap Reader is more than a digital version of a textbook. It is an
interactive, learning resource built to create a digital reading experience based on how stu-
dents assimilate information in an online environment. Videos and activities bring the book
concepts to life. The robust functionality of the MindTap Reader allows learners to make
notes, highlight text, and even find a definition right from the page. After completing the
reading, students can review vocabulary with the flashcards and check their comprehension
with chapter quizzes.
• MindApps. This suite of learning tools gives instructors the ability to manage and custom-
ize their course and students the tools they need to prepare for a course or exam—all from a
single platform. Examples of apps include:
• ReadSpeaker®, an online text-to-speech application that vocalizes, or “speech-enables,”

the MindTap content
• Merriam-Webster MindApp, which allows students to look up a word simply by high-
lighting it and selecting “Dictionary” on the contextual menu
• Notebook App that captures notes and highlights students create in the MindTap
Reader and links to the popular Evernote web-based note taking platform.
• MindTap Analytics, a visual dashboard fueled by powerful analytics, allows educators to
track learner engagement and class progress, while empowering students with information on
where they stand and where they need to focus. Instructors can instantly access an in-depth
analysis of each student to understand how engaged he or she is in the course, how often the
student is accessing the solution, and what progress has been made within the course activi-
ties. Students can quickly see where they stand.
• ConnectYard App allows you to bring in “virtual speakers” to discuss important issues
with students. You can invite other classes—even outside your school—to join in.
• The RSS Feed App can be used to bring current event topics into the classroom, making
book content even more relevant.
If you want your students to have access to MindTap for this text, these resources can be
bundled with every new copy of the text or ordered separately. Students whose instructors do not
order these as a package with the text may purchase access to them at cengagebrain.com.
xii PREFACE
What’s Familiar
As always, the user-friendly approach of Looking Out Looking In connects scholarship and
everyday life. Virtually every page spread contains an attention-grabbing assortment of materials
that support the text: articles from print and online sources, poetry, cartoons, photographs, and
profiles of popular films and television shows. A prominent treatment of ethical issues helps
readers explore how to communicate in a principled manner. An extensive package of ancillary
resources (described below) aims at helping students learn and instructors teach efficiently and
effectively.
Looking Out Looking In presents communication not as a collection of techniques we use
on others, but as a process we engage in with them. Readers also learn that even the most
competent communication doesn’t always seek to create warm, fuzzy relationships, and that even
less personal interaction usually has the best chance of success when handled in a constructive,
respectful manner.
The discussion of gender and culture is integrated throughout the book, rather than being
isolated in separate chapters. The treatment of these important topics is nonideological, citing
research that shows how other variables are often at least as important in shaping interaction.
The basic focus of the chapters has remained constant, and Chapters 2 through 12 can be covered
in whatever order works best for individual situations.
In-Text Learning Resources

Every chapter contains a variety of resources to help students understand and use the principles
introduced in the text. These include:
Looking at Diversity profiles provide first-person accounts by communicators from a wide

range of cultural, physical, ethnic, and occupational backgrounds. For example, new profiles
in this edition describe a successful arranged marriage and how police officers can better
understand and serve communities of color. These profiles help readers appreciate that inter-
personal communication is shaped by who you are and where you come from.
On the Job features in every chapter highlight the importance of interpersonal communi-
cation in the workplace. Grounded in scholarly research, these features equip readers with
communication strategies that enhance career success. New features in this edition discuss
how to manage a professional identity, repair damaged workplace relationships, stay humble,
and choose workplace battles wisely.
In Real Life transcripts describe how the skills and concepts from the text sound in every-
day life. Seeing real people use the skills in familiar situations gives students both the mod-
eling and confidence to try them in their own relationships. Dramatized versions of many of
these transcripts are featured in the MindTap for Looking Out Looking In.
Activities in every chapter help readers engage with important concepts. Activities are
labeled by type:
• Pause and Reflect boxes help readers understand how theory and research apply to their
own lives.
• Skill Builders help readers improve their communication skills.
• Ethical Challenges offer wisdom about dilemmas that communicators face as they pursue
their own goals.
Other Teaching and Learning Resources

Along with the text itself, Looking Out Looking In can be bundled with an extensive array of
materials that make teaching and learning more efficient and effective.
• The Advantage Edition of Looking Out Looking In is available for instructors who are
interested in an alternate version of the book. Part of the Cengage Learning Advantage
Series, this paperback, black-and-white version of the complete book additionally offers a
PREFACE xiii
built-in student workbook at the end of each chapter that has perforated pages so material
can be submitted as homework.
• The Student Activities Manual has been revised by Sheryll Reichwein of Cape Cod Com-
munity College. It contains a wealth of resources to help students understand and master
concepts and skills introduced in the text and will be available through the Instructor Com-
panion Site.
• A comprehensive Instructor’s Resource Manual, revised by Sheryll Reichwein, Cape Cod

Community College, provides tips and tools for both new and experienced instructors. The
manual also contains hard copy of over 1,200 class-tested exam questions, indexed by page
number and level of understanding.
• Instructor’s Companion Website. This website is an all-in one resource for class prepa-
ration, presentation, and testing for instructors. Accessible through Cengage.com/login with
your faculty account, you will find an Instructor’s Manual, Chapter-by-Chapter PowerPoint
presentations, and Cengage Learning Testing files powered by Cognero.
• Cengage Learning Testing, powered by Cognero. Accessible through Cengage.com/

login with your faculty account, this test bank contains multiple choice, true/false, and essay
questions for each chapter. Cognero is a flexible, online system that allows you to author,
edit, and manage test bank content. Create multiple test versions instantly and deliver them
through your LMS platform from wherever you may be. Cognero is compatible with Black-
board, Angel, Moodle, and Canvas LMS platforms.
• Communication Scenarios for Critique and Analysis Videos include additional scenar-
ios covering interviewing and group work. Contact your Cengage Learning sales representa-
tive for details.
• Communication in Film III: Teaching Communication Courses Using Feature Films

by Russell F. Proctor II, Northern Kentucky University, expands on the film tips in each
chapter of Looking Out Looking In. This guide provides detailed suggestions for using classic
films to illustrate communication principles introduced in the text.
• Cengage Learning Engagement Services—a full portfolio of support for students,

instructors, and institutions alike—is made possible through a dedicated staff of expe-
rienced, highly credentialed professionals. Proactive, start-to-finish support helps you get
trained, get connected, and get the resources you need for the seamless integration of digital
resources into your course. This unparalleled technology service and training program pro-
vides robust online resources, peer-to-peer instruction, personalized training, and a customiz-
able program you can count on.
• Create a text as unique as your course. Learn more about custom learning materials at
http://services.cengage.com/custom/.
Acknowledgments
We are grateful to the many people who helped bring you this new edition. Thanks are due to the
colleagues whose reviews helped shape this new edition:
Marlene Adzema, Red Rocks Community College; Renee Aitken, Park University; Keith Allen,
Mott Community College; Randall Allen, Bay de Noc Community College Bay; Alicia Andersen,
Sierra College; Kim Ards, Amberton University; Diane Auten, Allan Hancock College; Pat Baker,
Davidson College; Jim Bargar, Missouri Western State University; Amy Bessin, Taylor University;
Francesca Bishop, El Camino College; Nancy Bixler, Skagit Valley College; Ellen Bland, Central
Carolina Community College; Beth Brooks, Bucks County Community College; Cynthia Brown,
El Macomb Community College; Susan Cain, A-B Tech Community College; Kelly Champion,
Northern Illinois University; Tammy Christensen, Central Christian College of the Bible; Marlene
Cohen, Prince George’s Community College; Dolly Conner, Radford University; Sarah Contreras,
Del Mar College; Diana Crossman, El Camino College; Patricia Cutspec, Asheville Buncombe
Technical Community College; Nicholas Dahl, Clark College; Alexis Davidson, California State
University, Sacramento; Kathryn Dederichs, Normandale Community College; Karen DeFrancesco,
Bloomsburg University; Sherry Dewald, Red Rocks Community College; Erica Dixon, South Puget
xiv PREFACE
Sound CC; Cassandra Dove, Central Maine Community College; Mike Dunn, Austin Peay State
University; Steve Epstein, Suffolk Community College; Nancy Fraleigh, Fresno City College; Ann
Gross, Napa Valley College; Jill Hall, Jefferson Community and Technical College; Benjamin Han,
Concordia University Wisconsin; Yael Hellman, Woodbury University; Aimee Herring, Amberton
University; Ronald Hochstatter, Mclennan Community College; Jenny Hodges, St. John’s College;
Caryn Horwitz, Miami Dade College; Karen Huck, Central Oregon Community College; Rae Ann
Ianniello, Ohlone College; Kati Ireland, San Jose City College; Joann Kaiser, Indiana University
Kokomo; Stefanie Kelly Armstrong, Atlantic State University; Chris Kennedy, Western Wyoming
Community College; Howard Kerner, Polk State College; Karyl Kicenski, College of the Canyons;
April Kindrick, South Puget Sound Community College; Mark Knapik, Lake Erie College;
Norman Komnick, Pierce College; Meg Kreiner, Spokane Community College; Janet Kucia,
Mississippi College; Julie Kusmierz, Hilbert College; Jorge Luna, William Jessup University;
Nancy Luna, Woodbury University; Ross Mackinney, College of the Redwoods; Jennifer Marks,
Northeast Lakeview College; Barbara Mayo, Northeast Lakeview College; Floyd McConnell, San
Jacinto College North; Chikako McLean, Oakton Community College; Connie McKee, West Texas
A&M University; Che Meneses, Ohlone College; Kendra Mitchell, West Kentucky Community and
Technical College; M Moe-Lunger, Lee University; David Moss, Mt. San Jacinto College; Anjana
Mudambi, Randolph-Macon College; Lynnette Mullins, University of Minnesota Crookston;
Kay Neal, University of Wisconsin Oshkosh; Carel Neffenger, Green River Community College;
Larry Neuspickle, Beckfield College; Katherine Oleson, Bellevue College; Cindy Peterson,
MidAmerica Nazarene University; Sandra Poster, Borough of Manhattan Community College;
Tracey Powers, GateWay Community College; Jennifer Ramsey, Odessa College; Heidi Reeder,
Boise State University; Sheryll Reichwein, Cape Cod Community College; Rebecca Richey,
Middle Tennessee State University; Laura Ringer, Piedmont Technical College; Rebecca Roberts,
University of Wyoming; Nicole Roles, Williston State College; Linda Seward, Middle Tennessee
State University; Jay Sieling, Alexandria Technical and Community College; Cheryl Skiba-Jones,
Trine University; Linda Smith, Skagit Valley College; Tim Soulis, Transylvania University; Kalisa
Spalding, St. Catharine College; Elizabeth Stephens, Middle Tennessee State University; Antonia
Taylor, Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College; Mary-Beth Taylor, Central Maine Community College;
Michelle Thiessen, Rock Valley College; Catherine Thompson, University of Hawaii Maui College;
Melinda Tilton, Montana State University, Billings; Juleen Trisko, Northwest Technical College;
Jayne Turk, College of the Siskiyous; Desrene Vernon-Brebnor, Andrews University; Shawna
Warner, Crown College; Joyce Webb, Shepherd University; Frank Wells, Dunwoody College of
Technology; Dan West, Rochester Community and Technical College; Colene White, Everett
Community College; Ellen White, Mt. Hood Community College; Katherine Woodbury, Central
Maine Community College; Sandra Wu-Bott, University of Hawaii at Manoa; Marguerite Yawin,
Tunxis Community College; Paul Zietlow, Concordia University Wisconsin
We are grateful to Brandi Frisby of the University of Kentucky, author of the bonus
chapter on military communication that accompanies this edition. We continue to appreciate the
contributions of David DeAndrea of Ohio State University and Stephanie Tom Tong of Wayne
State University, whose work started the evolution of the current chapter on social media. Thanks
also to Sheryll Reichwein of Cape Cod Community College for her work on the revisions of the
Instructor’s Manual, Student Activities Manual, and MindTap activities.
Our thanks also go to the hardworking team at Cengage Learning who have played a role
in this edition from start to finish: Nicole Morinon, Sue Gleason Wade, Jessica Badiner, Lisa
Boragine, Colin Solan, and Corinna Dibble. Special thanks goes to Marita Sermolins, whose
ongoing help kept this project on track. In addition, we are grateful to Jean Finley for her work on
this edition. We are especially indebted to Sherri Adler for selecting the evocative photos that help
make Looking Out Looking In unique.
Ronald B. Adler
Russell F. Proctor, II
About the Authors
Since this is a book about interpersonal communication, it seems appro-
priate for us to introduce ourselves to you, the reader. The “we” you’ll be
reading throughout this book isn’t just an editorial device: It refers to two
real people—Ron Adler and Russ Proctor.
Ron Adler lives in Santa Barbara, California, with his wife, Sherri, an
artist and photo researcher who selected most of the images in this book.
Their three adult children were infants when early editions of Looking
Out Looking In were conceived, and they grew up as guinea pigs for the
field testing of many concepts in this book. If you asked them, they would
vouch for the value of the information between these covers.
Ron spends most of his professional time writing about communica-
tion. In addition to helping create Looking Out Looking In, he has contrib-
uted to six other books about topics including business communication,
public speaking, small group communication, assertiveness, and social
skills. Besides writing and teaching, Ron teaches college courses and helps
professional and business people improve their communication on the job.
Cycling and hiking help keep Ron physically and emotionally healthy.
Russ Proctor is a professor at Northern Kentucky University, where his

sons RP and Randy both attended. Russ’s wife, Pam, is an educator too,
training teachers, students, and businesses to use energy more efficiently.
Russ met Ron at a communication conference in 1990, where they
quickly discovered a shared interest in using feature films as a teaching
tool. They have written and spoken extensively on this topic over the
years, and they have also co-authored several textbooks and articles.
When Russ isn’t teaching, writing, or presenting, his hobbies include
sports (especially baseball), classic rock music (especially Steely Dan), and
cooking (especially for family and friends on his birthday each year).
1
1
Start . . .
Explore this chapter’s topics online.
Here are the topics

discussed in this
chapter:
Why We Communicate
A First Look at
Physical Needs
Identity Needs
Social Needs
Interpersonal
Communication
Practical Goals
The Process of
Communication
Linear View
A Transactional View
Interpersonal and
Impersonal Communication After studying the topics in this chapter, you
should be able to:
Communication Principles
and Misconceptions 1 Assess the needs (physical, identity, social, and practical)
Communication Principles that communicators are attempting to satisfy in a given
Communication situation or relationship.
Misconceptions
2 Apply the transactional communication model to a
What Makes an Effective specific situation.
Communicator?
3 Describe how the communication principles and
Communication Competence
Defined misconceptions identified in this chapter are evident in a
specific situation.
Characteristics of Competent
Communicators 4 Describe the degree to which communication (in a
Competence in Intercultural specific instance or a relationship) is qualitatively
Communication impersonal or interpersonal, and describe the
Summary consequences of this level of interaction.
Key Terms 5 Diagnose the effectiveness of various communication

channels in a specific situation.
6 Determine the level of communication competence in a
specific instance or a relationship.
Sean Randall/E+/Getty Images
3
4 Chapter 1
Read and
Understand . . . P erhaps you played this game when you were younger. The group chooses
a victim—either as punishment for committing a real or imagined offense
or just for “fun.” Then for a period of time, that victim is given the silent
the complete chapter text
online in a rich interactive treatment. No one speaks to him or her, and no one responds to anything the
platform. victim says or does.
If you were the subject of this silent treatment, you probably experienced a
range of emotions. At first you might have felt—or at least acted—indifferent.
But after a while, the strain of being treated as a nonperson probably began to
grow. If the game went on long enough, it’s likely you found yourself either re-
treating into a state of depression or lashing out with hostility—partly to show
your anger and partly to get a response from the others.
Adults, as well as children, have used the silent
treatment in virtually every society throughout history
as a powerful tool to express displeasure and for social
control.1 We all know intuitively that communication—the
company of others—is one of the most basic human needs,
and that lack of contact is among the cruelest punishments
a person can suffer. In fact, workplace studies show that
employees would rather get negative attention from bosses
and coworkers than receive no attention at all. It hurts to
be picked on, but it’s worse to be ostracized.2
Besides being emotionally painful, being deprived of
companionship is so serious that it can affect life itself.
Frederick II, emperor of Germany in the 13th century,
may have been the first person to prove the point system-
atically. A medieval historian described one of his signifi-
cant, if inhumane, experiments:
He bade foster mothers and nurses to suckle the chil-
dren, to bathe and wash them, but in no way to prattle
with them, for he wanted to learn whether they would
Vicky Kasala/Getty Images
speak the Hebrew language, which was the oldest, or

Greek, or Latin, or Arabic, or perhaps the language
of their parents, of whom they had been born. But he
labored in vain because all the children died. For they
could not live without the petting and joyful faces and
loving words of their foster mothers.3
Fortunately, contemporary researchers have found less barbaric ways to

illustrate the importance of communication. In one study of isolation, subjects
were paid to remain alone in a locked room. Of the five subjects, one lasted for
eight days. Three held out for two days, one commenting, “Never again.” The
fifth subject lasted only two hours.4
The need for contact and companionship is just as strong outside the labo-
ratory, as individuals who have led solitary lives by choice or necessity have
discovered. W. Carl Jackson, an adventurer who sailed across the Atlantic
Ocean alone in fifty-one days, summarized the feelings common to most loners:
I found the loneliness of the second month almost excruciating. I always
thought of myself as self-sufficient, but I found life without people had no
meaning. I had a definite need for somebody to talk to, someone real, alive,
and breathing.5
A First Look at Interpersonal Communication 5
Why We Communicate
You might object to stories like this, claiming that solitude would be a welcome
relief from the irritations of everyday life. It’s true that all of us need solitude,
often more than we get, but each of us has a point beyond which we do not want
to be alone. Beyond this point, solitude changes from a pleasurable to a painful
condition. In other words, we all need relationships. We all need to communicate.
Physical Needs
Communication is so important that its presence or absence affects physical
health. In extreme cases, communication can even become a matter of life or
death. When he was a Navy pilot, U.S. Senator John McCain was shot down
over North Vietnam and held as a prisoner of war for six years, often in soli-
tary confinement. He and his fellow POWs set up clandestine codes in which
they sent messages by tapping on walls to laboriously spell out words. McCain
describes the importance of keeping contact and the risks that inmates would
take to maintain contact with one another:
The punishment for communicating could be severe, and a few POWs, hav-
ing been caught and beaten for their efforts, had their spirits broken as their
bodies were battered. Terrified of a return trip to the punishment room, they
would lie still in their cells when their comrades tried to tap them up on the
wall. Very few would remain uncommunicative for long. To suffer all this alone
was less tolerable than torture. Withdrawing in silence from the fellowship of
other Americans . . . was to us the approach of death.6
Other prisoners have also described the punishing effects of social

isolation. Reflecting on his seven years as a hostage in Lebanon, former news
correspondent Terry Anderson said flatly, “I would rather have had the worst
companion than no companion at all.”7
The link between communication and physical well-being isn’t restricted
to prisoners. Medical researchers have identified a wide range of health
threats that can result from a lack of close relationships. For instance:
• A meta-analysis of nearly 150 studies and over 300,000 participants found
that socially connected people—those with strong networks of family and
friends—live an average of 3.7 years longer than those who are socially
isolated.8
• A lack of social relationships jeopardizes coronary health to a degree that
rivals cigarette smoking, high blood pressure, blood lipids, obesity, and
lack of physical activity.9
• Socially isolated people are four times more susceptible to the common
cold than are those who have active social networks.10
• Divorced, separated, and widowed people are five to ten times more likely to
need mental hospitalization than their married counterparts. Happily mar-
ried people also have lower incidences of pneumonia, surgery, and cancer
than do single people.11 (It’s important to note that the quality of the rela-
tionship is more important than the institution of marriage in these studies.)
6 Chapter 1
By contrast, a life that includes positive relationships created through

communication leads to better health. As little as ten minutes per day of
socializing improves memory and boosts intellectual function.12 Conversation
with others reduces feelings of loneliness and its accompanying maladies.13
Stress hormones decline the more often people hear expressions of affection
from loved ones.14
Research like this demonstrates the importance of having satisfying
personal relationships. Not everyone needs the same amount of contact, and
the quality of communication is almost certainly as significant as the quantity.
The key point is that personal communication is essential for our well-being.
Identity Needs
Communication does more than enable us to survive. It is the way—indeed,
the only way—we learn who we are. As Chapter 3 explains, our sense of iden-
tity comes from the way we interact with other people. Are we smart or stu-
pid, attractive or plain, skillful or inept? The answers to these questions don’t
come from looking in the mirror. We decide who we are based on how others
react to us.
Deprived of communication with others, we would have no sense of
ourselves. A dramatic example is the “Wild Boy of Aveyron,” who spent his
early childhood without any apparent human contact. The boy was discovered
in January 1800 digging for vegetables in a French village garden. He showed
no behaviors that one would expect in a social human. The boy could not speak
but rather uttered only weird cries. More significant than this lack of social
skills was his lack of any identity as a human being. As one author put it, “The
boy had no human sense of being in the world. He had no sense of himself
as a person related to other persons.”15 Only with the influence of a loving
“mother” did the boy begin to behave—and, we can imagine, think of himself—
as a human.
Like the boy of Aveyron, each of us enters the world with little or no sense
of identity. We gain an idea of who we are from the way others define us.
As Chapter 3 explains, the messages we receive in early childhood are the
strongest, but the influence of others continues throughout life.
Social Needs
Besides helping to define who we are, communication provides a vital link
with others. Researchers and theorists have identified a whole range of social
needs that we satisfy by communicating. These include pleasure, affection,
companionship, escape, relaxation, and control.16
Research suggests a strong link between effective interpersonal
communication and happiness. In one study of more than 200 college students,
the happiest 10 percent described themselves as having a rich social life.
(The very happy people were no different from their classmates in any other
measurable way such as amount of sleep, exercise, TV watching, religious
activity, or alcohol consumption.)17 In another study, women reported that
“socializing” contributed more to a satisfying life than virtually any other
activity, including relaxing, shopping, eating, exercise, TV, or prayer.18 Married
couples who are effective communicators

report happier relationships than less
skillful husbands and wives—a finding that
has been supported across cultures.19
Despite knowing that communication
is vital to social satisfaction, a variety
of evidence suggests that many people
aren’t very successful at managing their
interpersonal relationships. For example, one
study revealed that a quarter of the more
than 4,000 adults surveyed knew more about
FX/Photofest
their dogs than they did about their neighbors’
backgrounds.20 Research also suggests that
the number of friendships is in decline. One In his TV show Louie,
comedian Louie CK is a
widely recognized survey reported that, in 1985, Americans had an average of
relational pessimist who
2.94 close friends. Twenty years later, that number had dropped to 2.08.21 It’s is chronically unlucky
worth noting that educated Americans reported having larger and more diverse in love. Nonetheless he
networks. In other words, a higher education can enhance your relational life as keeps trying because
well as your intellect. life without companion-
ship is too lonesome
Because connections with others are so vital, some theorists maintain
to bear. How well does
that positive relationships may be the single most important source of life your communication
satisfaction and emotional well-being in every culture.22 If you pause now fulfill your needs for
and make a mental list of your own relationships, you’ll probably see that, connection? How can
no matter how successfully you interact with friends, at home, at school, and you use the information
in this book to help you
at work, there is plenty of room for improvement in your everyday life. The
meet your social needs?
information that follows will help you improve the way you communicate with
the people who matter most to you.
Practical Goals
Besides satisfying social needs and shaping our identity, communication is
the most widely used approach to satisfying what communication scholars
call instrumental goals: getting others to behave in ways we want. Some
instrumental goals are quite basic: Communication is the tool that lets you
tell the hair stylist to take just a little off the sides, lets you negotiate house-
hold duties, and lets you convince the plumber that the broken pipe needs
attention now!
Other instrumental goals are more important. Career success is the prime
example. As the On the Job box in this section shows, communication skills are
essential in virtually every career. They can even make the difference between
life and death. The Los Angeles Police Department cited “bad communication”
among the most common reasons for errors in shooting by its officers.23 The
ability to communicate effectively is just as essential for doctors, nurses, and
other medical practitioners.24 Researchers discovered that “poor communication”
was the root of more than 60 percent of reported medical errors—including
death, serious physical injury, and psychological trauma.25 Research published
in the Journal of the American Medical Association and elsewhere revealed a
significant difference between the communication skills of physicians who had
no malpractice claims against them and those with previous claims.26
8 Chapter 1
On The Job
Communication and Career Success
No matter what the field, research confirms what common reasons for not offering jobs to applicants,
experienced workers already know—that communi- the most frequent replies were “inability to communi-
cation skills are crucial in finding and succeeding in cate” and “poor communication skills.”c
a job. Communication skills often make the differ-
Once you have been hired, the need for commu-
ence between being hired and being rejected. In one
nication skills is important in virtually every career.d
widely followed annual survey, employers list the skills
Engineers spend the bulk of their working lives
and qualities for their ideal candidate. Communica-
speaking and listening, mostly in one-to-one and
tion skills always top the list, ahead of technical skills,
small-group settings.e Accountants and the firms that
initiative, analytical ability, and computer skills.a
hire them consistently cite effective communication as
In another survey, managers across the country rated essential for career success.f One executive at com-
the abilities to speak and listen effectively as the two puter giant Sun Microsystems made the point force-
most important factors in helping college graduates fully: “If there’s one skill that’s required for success in
find jobs in a competitive workplace—more important this industry, it’s communication skills.”g Writing in The
than technical competence, work experience, and Scientist, a commentator echoed this sentiment: “If
specific degree earned.b When 170 well-known busi- I give any advice, it is that you can never do enough
ness and industrial firms were asked to list the most training around your overall communication skills.”h
Psychologist Abraham Maslow suggested that the physical, identity,

social, and practical needs we have been discussing fall into five hierarchical
categories, each of which must be satisfied before we concern ourselves with the
less fundamental needs.27 The most basic of these needs are physical: sufficient
air, water, food, and rest, and the ability to reproduce as a species. The second
of Maslow’s needs is safety: protection from threats to our well-being. Beyond
physical and safety needs are the social needs we have mentioned already.
Beyond these, Maslow suggests, each of us has self-esteem needs: the desire to
believe that we are worthwhile, valuable people. The final category of needs
described by Maslow is self-actualization: the desire to develop our potential to
the maximum, to become the best person we can be. As you read on, think about
the ways in which communication is often necessary to satisfy each level of need.
The Process of
Communication
We have been talking about communication as though the meaning of this
word were perfectly clear. Communication scholars have argued for years
about communication definitions. Despite their many disagreements, most
would agree that, at its essence, communication is about using messages to
generate meanings.28 Notice how this basic definition holds true across a
variety of contexts—public speaking, small groups, mass media, etc. Before

going further, we need to explain systematically what happens when people
exchange messages and create meanings in interpersonal communication.
Doing so will introduce you to a common working vocabulary and, at the same
time, preview some of the topics that are covered in later chapters.
A Linear View
In the early days of studying communication as a social science, researchers
created models to illustrate the communication process. Their first attempts
resulted in a linear communication model, which depicts communication
as something a sender “does to” a receiver. According to the linear model in
Figure 1.1,
A sender (the person creating the message)
encodes (puts thoughts into symbols and gestures) a
message (the information being transmitted), sending it through a
channel (the medium through which the message passes) to a
receiver (the person attending to the message) who
decodes (makes sense of the message), while contending with
noise (distractions that disrupt transmission).
Notice how the appearance of and vocabulary in Figure 1.1 are similar
to how radio and television broadcasting operate. This isn’t a coincidence:
The scientists who created it were primarily interested in early electronic
media. The widespread use of this model has affected the way we think and
talk about communication. There is a linear, machine-like quality to familiar
phrases, such as “We’re having a communication breakdown” and “I don’t
think my message is getting through.” While this is sometimes the case in
mediated forms of communication, these familiar phrases (and the thinking
they represent) obscure some important features of human communication.
Does interpersonal communication really “break down,” or are people still
exchanging information even when they’re not talking to each other? Is it
possible to “get a message through” to someone loudly and clearly, but still not
get the desired reaction? Here are some other questions to consider about the
shortcomings of the linear model:
• When you’re having a face-to-face conversation with a friend, is there only
one sender and one receiver, or do both of you send and receive messages
simultaneously?
Noise Noise Noise Figure 1.1

Linear Communication
Model
© Cengage Learning
Message
Sender Channel(s) Channel(s) Receiver
Noise Noise Noise
10 Chapter 1
• Do you purposely encode every message you send, or do you engage in

some behaviors unconsciously that still communicate messages to others?
• Even when you send a message electronically (e.g., through texting or
email), is the message’s meaning affected by larger factors such as culture,
environment, and relational history?
These and other questions have led scholars to create models that better
represent interpersonal communication. We will look at one of these models now.
A Transactional View
A transactional communication model (Figure 1.2) updates and expands
the linear model to better capture communication as a uniquely human pro-
cess. Some concepts and terms from the linear model are retained in the trans-
actional model, whereas others are enhanced, added, or eliminated.
The transactional model uses the word communicator instead of sender
and receiver. This term reflects the fact that people typically send and receive
messages simultaneously and not in a unidirectional or back-and-forth
manner, as suggested by the linear model. Consider, for example, what might
happen when you and a housemate negotiate how to handle household chores.
As soon as you begin to hear (receive) the words sent by your housemate,
“I want to talk about cleaning the kitchen . . .,” you grimace and clench your
jaw (sending a nonverbal message of your own while receiving the verbal one).
This reaction leads your housemate to interrupt defensively, sending a new
message: “Now wait a minute. . . .”
A transactional model also shows that communicators often occupy
different environments—fields of experience that affect how they understand
others’ behavior. In communication terminology, environment refers not
only to a physical location but also to the personal experiences and cultural
background that participants bring to a conversation.
Consider just some of the factors that might contribute to different
environments:
• Person A might belong to one ethnic group, and person B to another.
• Person A might be rich, and B poor.
A's ENVIRONMENT B's ENVIRONMENT

Noise Noise Noise
Communicator Communicator
(sends and Messages (sends and
receives) receives)
Channel(s) Channel(s)
Figure 1.2
Transactional
Communication Model
© Cengage Learning Noise Noise Noise
• Person A might be rushed, and B have nowhere to go.

• Person A might have lived a long, eventful life, and B might be young and
inexperienced.
• Person A might be passionately concerned with the subject, and B indiffer-
ent to it.
Notice how the model in Figure 1.2 shows that the environments of persons
A and B overlap. This area represents the background that the communicators
have in common. As the shared environment becomes smaller, communication
usually becomes more challenging. Consider a few examples in which different
perspectives can make understanding difficult:
• Bosses who have trouble understanding the perspectives of their employ-
ees will be less effective managers, and workers who do not appreciate the
challenges of being a boss are more likely to be uncooperative (and prob-
ably less suitable for advancement).
• Parents who have trouble recalling their youth are likely to clash with
their children, who have never known and may not appreciate the respon-
sibility that comes with parenting.
• Members of a dominant culture who have never experienced how it feels
to be marginalized may not appreciate the concerns of people from minor-
ity co-cultures, whose own perspectives make it hard to understand the
cultural blindness of the majority.
Communication channels retain a significant role in the transactional
model, as they did in the linear model. Although it’s tempting to see channels
simply as neutral conduits for delivering a message, a closer look reveals the
important role they play.29 For instance, should you say “I love you” in person?
Over the phone? In a text message? By renting space on a billboard? By
sending flowers and a card? Via email? In a voicemail? On a Facebook wall?
Mediated channels have become so important that Chapter 2 is devoted to
explaining the role they play in interpersonal relationships.
The transactional model also retains the concept of noise but with a
broader focus. In the linear model, the focus is on noise in the channel—what
is known as external noise. For instance, loud music or too much cigarette
smoke in a crowded room might make it difficult for you to pay attention to
another person. The transactional model shows that noise also resides within
communicators. This includes physiological noise, which involves biological
factors that interfere with accurate reception: illness, fatigue, hearing loss,
and so on. Communicators can also encounter psychological noise: forces
within that interfere with the ability to understand a message accurately.
For instance, a student might become so upset upon learning that she
failed a test that she would be unable (perhaps unwilling is a better word)
to understand clearly where she went wrong. Psychological noise is such an
important communication problem that we have devoted much of Chapter 11
to investigating its most common cause, defensiveness.
For all the insights they offer, models can’t capture some important
features of interpersonal communication. A model is a “snapshot,” while
communication more closely resembles a “motion picture.” In real life it’s
12 Chapter 1
Zits used with the permission of the Zits Partnership,

King Features Syndicate and the Cartoonist Group.
All rights reserved.
difficult to isolate a single discrete “act” of communication from the events that
precede and follow it.30 Consider the “Zits” cartoon seen here. If you read only
the final frame, it appears that Jeremy is the victim of his mother’s nagging. If
you then read the first three frames, you might conclude that if Jeremy were
more responsive to his mother, she might not need to be so persistent. And
if you watched the two of them interact over the days and weeks preceding
the incident in this cartoon, you would have a larger (but still incomplete)
picture of the relational history that contributed to this event. In other words,
The movie Boyhood
chronicles the life of
the communication pattern that Jeremy and his mother have created together
Mason (Ellar Coltrane) contributes to the quality of their relationship.
from early childhood This leads to another important point: Transactional communication isn’t
until he enters college. something that we do to others; rather, it is an activity that we do with them.
Shot over a 12-year In this sense, interpersonal communication is rather like dancing—at least the
period with actors who
aged with the story,
kind of dancing we do with partners. Like dancing, communication depends on
the film illustrates the the involvement of a partner. And like good dancing, successful communication
irreversible, unrepeat- doesn’t depend only on the person who takes the lead. A great dancer who
able, and transactional forgets to consider and adapt to the skill level of his or her partner can make
nature of interpersonal both people look bad. In communication and dancing, even having two talented
communication. How
have events from your
partners doesn’t guarantee success. When two skilled dancers perform without
upbringing affected the coordinating their movements, the results feel bad to the dancers and look
way you communicate foolish to an audience. Finally, relational communication—like dancing—is a
today? unique creation that arises out of the way in which the partners interact. The
way you dance probably varies from one
partner to another. Likewise, the way you
communicate almost certainly varies from
one partner to another.
Now we can summarize the definition
of interpersonal communication that we
have been developing. Interpersonal
communication is a transactional process
involving participants who occupy different
but overlapping environments and create
meaning and relationships through the
exchange of messages, many of which
IFC Films/Photofest
are affected by external, physiological,

and psychological noise. Whether or not
you memorize this definition is a matter
for you and your instructor to decide. In any case, notice how it reflects a more
sophisticated view of the process than you might have had before reading this
far. With this definition in mind, let’s look at how interpersonal communication
differs from less personal kinds of interaction.
Interpersonal and Impersonal Communication

Scholars have characterized interpersonal communication in a number of
ways.31 The most obvious definition focuses on the number of people involved.
A quantitative definition of interpersonal communication includes any inter-
action between two people, usually face to face. Social scientists call two inter-
acting people a dyad, and they often use the adjective dyadic to describe this
type of communication. So, in a quantitative sense, the terms dyadic commu-
nication and interpersonal communication can be used interchangeably. Using
a quantitative definition, a salesclerk and customer or a police officer ticketing
a speeding driver would be examples of interpersonal acts, whereas a teacher
and class or a performer and audience would not.
You can probably see the problems with a quantitative definition of
interpersonal communication. For example, consider a routine transaction
between a salesclerk and customer, or the rushed exchange when you ask a
stranger on the street for directions. Communication of this sort hardly seems
interpersonal—or personal in any sense of the word. In fact, after transactions
like this, we commonly remark, “I might as well have been talking to a
machine.”
The impersonal nature of some two-person exchanges and the personal
nature of others have led some scholars to argue that quality, not quantity,
is what distinguishes interpersonal communication.32 Taking a qualitative
approach, interpersonal communication occurs when people treat one another
as unique individuals, regardless of the context in which the interaction occurs
or the number of people involved. When quality of interaction is the criterion,
the opposite of interpersonal communication is impersonal communication,
not group, public, or mass communication.
Several features distinguish qualitatively interpersonal communication
from less-personal communication.33 The first feature is uniqueness.
Communication in impersonal exchanges is determined by social rules
(e.g., laugh politely at others’ jokes, don’t dominate a conversation) and by
social roles (e.g., the customer is always right, be especially polite to senior
citizens). Qualitatively interpersonal relationships are characterized by the
development of unique rules and roles. For example, in one relationship you
might exchange good-natured insults, whereas in another you are careful
never to offend your partner. Likewise, you might handle conflicts with one
friend or family member by expressing disagreements as soon as they arise,
whereas the unwritten rule in another relationship is to withhold resentments
until they build up and then clear the air periodically. Communication scholars
use the term relational culture to describe people in close relationships who
create their own unique ways of interacting.34
A second feature of qualitatively interpersonal relationships is irreplace-
ability. Because interpersonal relationships are unique, they have no substitute.
This explains why we usually feel so sad when a close friendship or love affair
14 Chapter 1
Ethical Challenge
Martin Buber’s I and Thou
Martin Buber is arguably the most influential advo- or wives, bosses or employees are alike, we
cate of qualitatively interpersonal communication, as encounter each person as an individual and not as
defined in this section. His book Ich und Du (I and a member of some category. An “I-Thou” posture
Thou) is a worldwide classic, selling millions of copies goes further: Not only are people different from one
since its publication in 1922.a another, but they change from moment to moment.
An “I-Thou” relationship arises out of how we are
Buber states that “I-It” and “I-Thou” represent two now, not how we might have been yesterday or even
ways in which humans can relate to one another. a moment ago. In an “I-Thou” relationship, persua-
“I-It” relationships are stable, predictable, detached. sion and control are out of the question: We certainly
In an “I-It” mode we deal with people because they may explain our point of view, but ultimately we
can do things for us: pump gas, laugh at our jokes, respect the fact that others are free to act.
buy products we are selling, provide information or
amusement. “I-It” is also the approach of science, Buber acknowledges that it is impossible to create
which attempts to understand what makes people and sustain pure “I-Thou” relationships. But without
tick in order to explain, predict, and control their this qualitatively interpersonal level of contact, our
behavior. Buber would have regarded advertisers as lives are impoverished. To paraphrase Buber, without
operating in an “I-It” mode, crafting messages that “I-It” we cannot exist, but if we live only with “I-It,” we
lead people to buy their products or services. “I-It” are not fully human.
relationships exist in personal relationships as well as
impersonal ones: On an everyday basis, parents and
children, bosses and employees, service providers Apply . . . the ethical principle(s) introduced here
and customers—even lovers—deal with one another by answering the following questions, either here or online.
as objects (“I wish she would leave me alone.” “Can Think of your most important relationships:
you pick me up after work?” “How can I get him/her
to love me?”). 1 To what degree can they be described as “I-Thou” or “I-It”?
2 How satisfied are you with this level of relating?
In profound contrast to “I-It” relationships, Buber
3 What obligation do you have to treat others in an “I-Thou” manner?
described an “I-Thou” way of interacting. “I-Thou”
relationships are utterly unique. Because no two Based on your answers to these questions, how might you change your style
of communication?
teachers or students, parents or children, husbands
cools down. We know that no matter how many other relationships fill our
lives, none of them will ever be quite like the one that just ended.
Interdependence is a third feature of qualitatively interpersonal
relationships. At the most basic level, the fate of the partners is connected.
You might be able to brush off the anger, affection, excitement, or depression
of someone you’re not involved with personally, but in an interpersonal
relationship the other’s life affects you. Sometimes interdependence is a
pleasure, and at other times it is a burden. In either case, it is a fact of life
in qualitatively interpersonal relationships. Interdependence goes beyond the
level of joined fates. In interpersonal relationships, our very identity depends
on the nature of our interaction with others. As psychologist Kenneth Gergen
puts it: “One cannot be ‘attractive’ without others who are attracted, a ‘leader’
without others willing to follow, or a ‘loving person’ without others to affirm
with appreciation.”35
A fourth feature of interpersonal relationships is often (though not
always) the amount of disclosure of personal information. In impersonal
relationships we don’t reveal much about ourselves, but in interpersonal
relationships we feel more comfortable sharing our thoughts and feelings.
This doesn’t mean that all interpersonal relationships are warm and
caring, or that all self-disclosure is positive. It’s possible to reveal negative,
personal information: “I’m really angry with you.” The point is, we tend to
reserve these kinds of disclosures—both positive and negative—for our more
personal relationships.
A fifth feature of interpersonal communication is intrinsic rewards. In
impersonal communication, we seek payoffs that have little to do with the
people involved. You listen to instructors in class or talk to potential buyers
of your used car in order to reach goals that usually have little to do with
developing personal relationships. By contrast, you spend time in qualitatively
interpersonal relationships with friends, lovers, and others because you find
the time personally rewarding. It often doesn’t matter what you talk about:
The relationship itself is what’s important.
Because relationships that are unique, irreplaceable, interdependent,
disclosing, and intrinsically rewarding are rare, qualitatively interpersonal
communication is relatively scarce. We chat pleasantly with shopkeepers or fellow
passengers on the bus or plane; we discuss the weather or current events with
most classmates and neighbors; we enjoy bantering with online acquaintances
on social networking websites. However, considering the number of people with
whom we communicate, personal relationships are by far in the minority.
Most relationships aren’t either interpersonal or impersonal. Rather,
they fall somewhere on a continuum between these two extremes. Your own
Pause and Reflect

How Personal Are Your Facebook Relationships?
Reflect . . . on your own communication by answering the following questions, either
here or online.
If you’re a Facebook user, scroll through your list of friends on that site. Consider how
personal (or impersonal) your relationships are with those people:
• How many would you regard to be “highly personal”? How many are “highly
impersonal”? (Perhaps you can rank them on a scale of 1 to 10.)
• Which factors noted in this section (unique, irreplaceable, interdependent, disclos-
ing, and intrinsically rewarding) affect your appraisals?
• What percentage of your communication with these people occurs exclusively on
Facebook? Through other mediated channels (phone, text, email)? Face to face?
How does this ratio affect your friendships?
16 Chapter 1
experience probably reveals that there’s often a personal element in even the
most impersonal situations. You might appreciate the unique sense of humor
of a familiar blog poster or connect on a personal level with the person cutting
your hair. And even the most tyrannical, demanding, by-the-book boss might
show an occasional flash of humanity.
Just as there’s a personal element in many impersonal settings, there
is also an impersonal element in our relationships with the people we care
most about. There are occasions when we don’t want to be personal: when
we’re distracted, tired, busy, or just not interested. Sometimes all we want to
know about certain friends is what they post on social media sites. In fact,
interpersonal communication is rather like rich food—it’s fine in moderation,
but too much can make you uncomfortable.
Most of us don’t have the time or energy to create highly personal
relationships with everyone we encounter, either in person or via social media.
In fact, the scarcity of qualitatively interpersonal communication contributes
to its value. Like precious jewels and one-of-a-kind artwork, interpersonal
relationships are special because of their scarcity.
and Misconceptions
Now that we’ve looked at definitions and approaches to communication, it’s
important to identify some principles of interpersonal interaction—and what
communication can and can’t accomplish.
It’s possible to draw several important conclusions about communication from
what you have already learned in this chapter.
Communication Can Be Intentional or Unintentional Some communica-

tion is clearly intentional: You probably plan your words carefully before ask-
ing the boss for a raise or offering constructive criticism. Some scholars argue
that only intentional messages like these qualify as communication. Others
contend that even unintentional behavior is communicative. Suppose, for
instance, that a friend overhears you muttering complaints to yourself. Even
though you didn’t intend for her to hear your remarks, they certainly did carry
a message. In addition to these slips of the tongue, we unintentionally send
many nonverbal messages. You might not be aware of your sour expression,
impatient shifting, or sigh of boredom, but others view them nonetheless.
Scholars have debated without reaching consensus about whether uninten-
tional behavior should be considered communication, and it’s unlikely that
they will ever settle this issue.36 In Looking Out Looking In, we will look at the
communicative value of both intentional and unintentional behavior.
It’s Impossible Not to Communicate Because both intentional and unin-

tentional behaviors send a message, many theorists agree that it is impossible
not to communicate. Whatever you do—whether you speak or remain silent,
confront or avoid, act emotional or keep a poker face—you provide information
to others about your thoughts and feelings. In this sense, we are like transmit-
ters that can’t be shut off.
Of course, the people who decode your message may not interpret it
accurately. They might take your kidding seriously or underestimate your
feelings, for example. The message that you intend to convey may not even
resemble the one that others infer from your actions. Thus, when we talk about
“a communication breakdown” or “miscommunication,” we rarely mean that
communication has ended. Instead, we mean that it is inaccurate, ineffective,
or unsatisfying.37
This explains why the best way to boost understanding is to discuss your
intentions and your interpretations of the other person’s behavior until you
have negotiated a shared meaning. The perception-checking skills described in
Chapter 4, the tips on clear language offered in Chapter 6, and the listening skills
introduced in Chapter 8 will give you tools to boost the odds that the meanings of
messages you send and receive are understandable to both you and others.
Communication Is Unrepeatable Because communication is an ongo-

ing process, it is impossible to repeat the same event. The friendly smile that
worked so well when meeting a stranger last week might not succeed with the
person you meet tomorrow. It might feel stale and artificial to you the second
time around, or it might be wrong for the new person or occasion. Even with
the same person, it’s impossible to re-create an event. Why? Because neither
you nor the other person is the same person. You’ve both lived longer. Your
feelings about each other may have changed. You need not constantly invent
new ways to act around familiar people, but you should realize that the “same”
words and behavior are different each
time they are spoken or performed.
© The New Yorker Collection 1991 Michael Maslin from cartoonbank.com. All rights reserved.
Communication Is Irreversible We
sometimes wish that we could back up in
time, erasing words or acts and replac-
ing them with better alternatives. As the
cartoon here points out, such reversal is
impossible. Sometimes, further explana-
tion can clear up another’s confusion, or
an apology can mollify another’s hurt
feelings. Other times no amount of expla-
nation can erase the impression you have
created. It is no more possible to “unre-
ceive” a message than to “unsqueeze” a
tube of toothpaste. The same is true of
most electronic messages: Once you hit
“send,” they can’t be taken back. Words
said, messages sent, and deeds done are
irretrievable.
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
DANCE ON STILTS AT THE GIRLS’ UNYAGO, NIUCHI
Newala, too, suffers from the distance of its water-supply—at least

the Newala of to-day does; there was once another Newala in a lovely
valley at the foot of the plateau. I visited it and found scarcely a trace
of houses, only a Christian cemetery, with the graves of several
missionaries and their converts, remaining as a monument of its
former glories. But the surroundings are wonderfully beautiful. A
thick grove of splendid mango-trees closes in the weather-worn
crosses and headstones; behind them, combining the useful and the
agreeable, is a whole plantation of lemon-trees covered with ripe
fruit; not the small African kind, but a much larger and also juicier
imported variety, which drops into the hands of the passing traveller,
without calling for any exertion on his part. Old Newala is now under
the jurisdiction of the native pastor, Daudi, at Chingulungulu, who,
as I am on very friendly terms with him, allows me, as a matter of
course, the use of this lemon-grove during my stay at Newala.
FEET MUTILATED BY THE RAVAGES OF THE “JIGGER”
(Sarcopsylla penetrans)
The water-supply of New Newala is in the bottom of the valley,

some 1,600 feet lower down. The way is not only long and fatiguing,
but the water, when we get it, is thoroughly bad. We are suffering not
only from this, but from the fact that the arrangements at Newala are
nothing short of luxurious. We have a separate kitchen—a hut built
against the boma palisade on the right of the baraza, the interior of
which is not visible from our usual position. Our two cooks were not
long in finding this out, and they consequently do—or rather neglect
to do—what they please. In any case they do not seem to be very
particular about the boiling of our drinking-water—at least I can
attribute to no other cause certain attacks of a dysenteric nature,
from which both Knudsen and I have suffered for some time. If a
man like Omari has to be left unwatched for a moment, he is capable
of anything. Besides this complaint, we are inconvenienced by the
state of our nails, which have become as hard as glass, and crack on
the slightest provocation, and I have the additional infliction of
pimples all over me. As if all this were not enough, we have also, for
the last week been waging war against the jigger, who has found his
Eldorado in the hot sand of the Makonde plateau. Our men are seen
all day long—whenever their chronic colds and the dysentery likewise
raging among them permit—occupied in removing this scourge of
Africa from their feet and trying to prevent the disastrous
consequences of its presence. It is quite common to see natives of
this place with one or two toes missing; many have lost all their toes,
or even the whole front part of the foot, so that a well-formed leg
ends in a shapeless stump. These ravages are caused by the female of
Sarcopsylla penetrans, which bores its way under the skin and there
develops an egg-sac the size of a pea. In all books on the subject, it is
stated that one’s attention is called to the presence of this parasite by
an intolerable itching. This agrees very well with my experience, so
far as the softer parts of the sole, the spaces between and under the
toes, and the side of the foot are concerned, but if the creature
penetrates through the harder parts of the heel or ball of the foot, it
may escape even the most careful search till it has reached maturity.
Then there is no time to be lost, if the horrible ulceration, of which
we see cases by the dozen every day, is to be prevented. It is much
easier, by the way, to discover the insect on the white skin of a
European than on that of a native, on which the dark speck scarcely
shows. The four or five jiggers which, in spite of the fact that I
constantly wore high laced boots, chose my feet to settle in, were
taken out for me by the all-accomplished Knudsen, after which I
thought it advisable to wash out the cavities with corrosive
sublimate. The natives have a different sort of disinfectant—they fill
the hole with scraped roots. In a tiny Makua village on the slope of
the plateau south of Newala, we saw an old woman who had filled all
the spaces under her toe-nails with powdered roots by way of
prophylactic treatment. What will be the result, if any, who can say?
The rest of the many trifling ills which trouble our existence are
really more comic than serious. In the absence of anything else to
smoke, Knudsen and I at last opened a box of cigars procured from
the Indian store-keeper at Lindi, and tried them, with the most
distressing results. Whether they contain opium or some other
narcotic, neither of us can say, but after the tenth puff we were both
“off,” three-quarters stupefied and unspeakably wretched. Slowly we
recovered—and what happened next? Half-an-hour later we were
once more smoking these poisonous concoctions—so insatiable is the
craving for tobacco in the tropics.
Even my present attacks of fever scarcely deserve to be taken
seriously. I have had no less than three here at Newala, all of which
have run their course in an incredibly short time. In the early
afternoon, I am busy with my old natives, asking questions and
making notes. The strong midday coffee has stimulated my spirits to
an extraordinary degree, the brain is active and vigorous, and work
progresses rapidly, while a pleasant warmth pervades the whole
body. Suddenly this gives place to a violent chill, forcing me to put on
my overcoat, though it is only half-past three and the afternoon sun
is at its hottest. Now the brain no longer works with such acuteness
and logical precision; more especially does it fail me in trying to
establish the syntax of the difficult Makua language on which I have
ventured, as if I had not enough to do without it. Under the
circumstances it seems advisable to take my temperature, and I do
so, to save trouble, without leaving my seat, and while going on with
my work. On examination, I find it to be 101·48°. My tutors are
abruptly dismissed and my bed set up in the baraza; a few minutes
later I am in it and treating myself internally with hot water and
lemon-juice.
Three hours later, the thermometer marks nearly 104°, and I make
them carry me back into the tent, bed and all, as I am now perspiring
heavily, and exposure to the cold wind just beginning to blow might
mean a fatal chill. I lie still for a little while, and then find, to my
great relief, that the temperature is not rising, but rather falling. This
is about 7.30 p.m. At 8 p.m. I find, to my unbounded astonishment,
that it has fallen below 98·6°, and I feel perfectly well. I read for an
hour or two, and could very well enjoy a smoke, if I had the
wherewithal—Indian cigars being out of the question.
Having no medical training, I am at a loss to account for this state
of things. It is impossible that these transitory attacks of high fever
should be malarial; it seems more probable that they are due to a
kind of sunstroke. On consulting my note-book, I become more and
more inclined to think this is the case, for these attacks regularly
follow extreme fatigue and long exposure to strong sunshine. They at
least have the advantage of being only short interruptions to my
work, as on the following morning I am always quite fresh and fit.
My treasure of a cook is suffering from an enormous hydrocele which
makes it difficult for him to get up, and Moritz is obliged to keep in
the dark on account of his inflamed eyes. Knudsen’s cook, a raw boy
from somewhere in the bush, knows still less of cooking than Omari;
consequently Nils Knudsen himself has been promoted to the vacant
post. Finding that we had come to the end of our supplies, he began
by sending to Chingulungulu for the four sucking-pigs which we had
bought from Matola and temporarily left in his charge; and when
they came up, neatly packed in a large crate, he callously slaughtered
the biggest of them. The first joint we were thoughtless enough to
entrust for roasting to Knudsen’s mshenzi cook, and it was
consequently uneatable; but we made the rest of the animal into a
jelly which we ate with great relish after weeks of underfeeding,
consuming incredible helpings of it at both midday and evening
meals. The only drawback is a certain want of variety in the tinned
vegetables. Dr. Jäger, to whom the Geographical Commission
entrusted the provisioning of the expeditions—mine as well as his
own—because he had more time on his hands than the rest of us,
seems to have laid in a huge stock of Teltow turnips,[46] an article of
food which is all very well for occasional use, but which quickly palls
when set before one every day; and we seem to have no other tins
left. There is no help for it—we must put up with the turnips; but I
am certain that, once I am home again, I shall not touch them for ten
years to come.
Amid all these minor evils, which, after all, go to make up the
genuine flavour of Africa, there is at least one cheering touch:
Knudsen has, with the dexterity of a skilled mechanic, repaired my 9
× 12 cm. camera, at least so far that I can use it with a little care.
How, in the absence of finger-nails, he was able to accomplish such a
ticklish piece of work, having no tool but a clumsy screw-driver for
taking to pieces and putting together again the complicated
mechanism of the instantaneous shutter, is still a mystery to me; but
he did it successfully. The loss of his finger-nails shows him in a light
contrasting curiously enough with the intelligence evinced by the
above operation; though, after all, it is scarcely surprising after his
ten years’ residence in the bush. One day, at Lindi, he had occasion
to wash a dog, which must have been in need of very thorough
cleansing, for the bottle handed to our friend for the purpose had an
extremely strong smell. Having performed his task in the most
conscientious manner, he perceived with some surprise that the dog
did not appear much the better for it, and was further surprised by
finding his own nails ulcerating away in the course of the next few
days. “How was I to know that carbolic acid has to be diluted?” he
mutters indignantly, from time to time, with a troubled gaze at his
mutilated finger-tips.
Since we came to Newala we have been making excursions in all
directions through the surrounding country, in accordance with old
habit, and also because the akida Sefu did not get together the tribal
elders from whom I wanted information so speedily as he had
promised. There is, however, no harm done, as, even if seen only
from the outside, the country and people are interesting enough.
The Makonde plateau is like a large rectangular table rounded off
at the corners. Measured from the Indian Ocean to Newala, it is
about seventy-five miles long, and between the Rovuma and the
Lukuledi it averages fifty miles in breadth, so that its superficial area
is about two-thirds of that of the kingdom of Saxony. The surface,
however, is not level, but uniformly inclined from its south-western
edge to the ocean. From the upper edge, on which Newala lies, the
eye ranges for many miles east and north-east, without encountering
any obstacle, over the Makonde bush. It is a green sea, from which
here and there thick clouds of smoke rise, to show that it, too, is
inhabited by men who carry on their tillage like so many other
primitive peoples, by cutting down and burning the bush, and
manuring with the ashes. Even in the radiant light of a tropical day
such a fire is a grand sight.
Much less effective is the impression produced just now by the
great western plain as seen from the edge of the plateau. As often as
time permits, I stroll along this edge, sometimes in one direction,
sometimes in another, in the hope of finding the air clear enough to
let me enjoy the view; but I have always been disappointed.
Wherever one looks, clouds of smoke rise from the burning bush,
and the air is full of smoke and vapour. It is a pity, for under more
favourable circumstances the panorama of the whole country up to
the distant Majeje hills must be truly magnificent. It is of little use
taking photographs now, and an outline sketch gives a very poor idea
of the scenery. In one of these excursions I went out of my way to
make a personal attempt on the Makonde bush. The present edge of
the plateau is the result of a far-reaching process of destruction
through erosion and denudation. The Makonde strata are
everywhere cut into by ravines, which, though short, are hundreds of
yards in depth. In consequence of the loose stratification of these
beds, not only are the walls of these ravines nearly vertical, but their
upper end is closed by an equally steep escarpment, so that the
western edge of the Makonde plateau is hemmed in by a series of
deep, basin-like valleys. In order to get from one side of such a ravine
to the other, I cut my way through the bush with a dozen of my men.
It was a very open part, with more grass than scrub, but even so the
short stretch of less than two hundred yards was very hard work; at
the end of it the men’s calicoes were in rags and they themselves
bleeding from hundreds of scratches, while even our strong khaki
suits had not escaped scatheless.
NATIVE PATH THROUGH THE MAKONDE BUSH, NEAR

MAHUTA
I see increasing reason to believe that the view formed some time
back as to the origin of the Makonde bush is the correct one. I have
no doubt that it is not a natural product, but the result of human
occupation. Those parts of the high country where man—as a very
slight amount of practice enables the eye to perceive at once—has not
yet penetrated with axe and hoe, are still occupied by a splendid
timber forest quite able to sustain a comparison with our mixed
forests in Germany. But wherever man has once built his hut or tilled
his field, this horrible bush springs up. Every phase of this process
may be seen in the course of a couple of hours’ walk along the main
road. From the bush to right or left, one hears the sound of the axe—
not from one spot only, but from several directions at once. A few
steps further on, we can see what is taking place. The brush has been
cut down and piled up in heaps to the height of a yard or more,
between which the trunks of the large trees stand up like the last
pillars of a magnificent ruined building. These, too, present a
melancholy spectacle: the destructive Makonde have ringed them—
cut a broad strip of bark all round to ensure their dying off—and also
piled up pyramids of brush round them. Father and son, mother and
son-in-law, are chopping away perseveringly in the background—too
busy, almost, to look round at the white stranger, who usually excites
so much interest. If you pass by the same place a week later, the piles
of brushwood have disappeared and a thick layer of ashes has taken
the place of the green forest. The large trees stretch their
smouldering trunks and branches in dumb accusation to heaven—if
they have not already fallen and been more or less reduced to ashes,
perhaps only showing as a white stripe on the dark ground.
This work of destruction is carried out by the Makonde alike on the
virgin forest and on the bush which has sprung up on sites already
cultivated and deserted. In the second case they are saved the trouble
of burning the large trees, these being entirely absent in the
secondary bush.
After burning this piece of forest ground and loosening it with the
hoe, the native sows his corn and plants his vegetables. All over the
country, he goes in for bed-culture, which requires, and, in fact,
receives, the most careful attention. Weeds are nowhere tolerated in
the south of German East Africa. The crops may fail on the plains,
where droughts are frequent, but never on the plateau with its
abundant rains and heavy dews. Its fortunate inhabitants even have
the satisfaction of seeing the proud Wayao and Wamakua working
for them as labourers, driven by hunger to serve where they were
accustomed to rule.
But the light, sandy soil is soon exhausted, and would yield no
harvest the second year if cultivated twice running. This fact has
been familiar to the native for ages; consequently he provides in
time, and, while his crop is growing, prepares the next plot with axe
and firebrand. Next year he plants this with his various crops and
lets the first piece lie fallow. For a short time it remains waste and
desolate; then nature steps in to repair the destruction wrought by
man; a thousand new growths spring out of the exhausted soil, and
even the old stumps put forth fresh shoots. Next year the new growth
is up to one’s knees, and in a few years more it is that terrible,
impenetrable bush, which maintains its position till the black
occupier of the land has made the round of all the available sites and
come back to his starting point.
The Makonde are, body and soul, so to speak, one with this bush.
According to my Yao informants, indeed, their name means nothing
else but “bush people.” Their own tradition says that they have been
settled up here for a very long time, but to my surprise they laid great
stress on an original immigration. Their old homes were in the
south-east, near Mikindani and the mouth of the Rovuma, whence
their peaceful forefathers were driven by the continual raids of the
Sakalavas from Madagascar and the warlike Shirazis[47] of the coast,
to take refuge on the almost inaccessible plateau. I have studied
African ethnology for twenty years, but the fact that changes of
population in this apparently quiet and peaceable corner of the earth
could have been occasioned by outside enterprises taking place on
the high seas, was completely new to me. It is, no doubt, however,
correct.
The charming tribal legend of the Makonde—besides informing us
of other interesting matters—explains why they have to live in the
thickest of the bush and a long way from the edge of the plateau,
instead of making their permanent homes beside the purling brooks
and springs of the low country.
“The place where the tribe originated is Mahuta, on the southern
side of the plateau towards the Rovuma, where of old time there was
nothing but thick bush. Out of this bush came a man who never
washed himself or shaved his head, and who ate and drank but little.
He went out and made a human figure from the wood of a tree
growing in the open country, which he took home to his abode in the
bush and there set it upright. In the night this image came to life and
was a woman. The man and woman went down together to the
Rovuma to wash themselves. Here the woman gave birth to a still-
born child. They left that place and passed over the high land into the
valley of the Mbemkuru, where the woman had another child, which
was also born dead. Then they returned to the high bush country of
Mahuta, where the third child was born, which lived and grew up. In
course of time, the couple had many more children, and called
themselves Wamatanda. These were the ancestral stock of the
Makonde, also called Wamakonde,[48] i.e., aborigines. Their
forefather, the man from the bush, gave his children the command to
bury their dead upright, in memory of the mother of their race who
was cut out of wood and awoke to life when standing upright. He also
warned them against settling in the valleys and near large streams,
for sickness and death dwelt there. They were to make it a rule to
have their huts at least an hour’s walk from the nearest watering-
place; then their children would thrive and escape illness.”
The explanation of the name Makonde given by my informants is
somewhat different from that contained in the above legend, which I
extract from a little book (small, but packed with information), by
Pater Adams, entitled Lindi und sein Hinterland. Otherwise, my
results agree exactly with the statements of the legend. Washing?
Hapana—there is no such thing. Why should they do so? As it is, the
supply of water scarcely suffices for cooking and drinking; other
people do not wash, so why should the Makonde distinguish himself
by such needless eccentricity? As for shaving the head, the short,
woolly crop scarcely needs it,[49] so the second ancestral precept is
likewise easy enough to follow. Beyond this, however, there is
nothing ridiculous in the ancestor’s advice. I have obtained from
various local artists a fairly large number of figures carved in wood,
ranging from fifteen to twenty-three inches in height, and
representing women belonging to the great group of the Mavia,
Makonde, and Matambwe tribes. The carving is remarkably well
done and renders the female type with great accuracy, especially the
keloid ornamentation, to be described later on. As to the object and
meaning of their works the sculptors either could or (more probably)
would tell me nothing, and I was forced to content myself with the
scanty information vouchsafed by one man, who said that the figures
were merely intended to represent the nembo—the artificial
deformations of pelele, ear-discs, and keloids. The legend recorded
by Pater Adams places these figures in a new light. They must surely
be more than mere dolls; and we may even venture to assume that
they are—though the majority of present-day Makonde are probably
unaware of the fact—representations of the tribal ancestress.
The references in the legend to the descent from Mahuta to the
Rovuma, and to a journey across the highlands into the Mbekuru
valley, undoubtedly indicate the previous history of the tribe, the
travels of the ancestral pair typifying the migrations of their
descendants. The descent to the neighbouring Rovuma valley, with
its extraordinary fertility and great abundance of game, is intelligible
at a glance—but the crossing of the Lukuledi depression, the ascent
to the Rondo Plateau and the descent to the Mbemkuru, also lie
within the bounds of probability, for all these districts have exactly
the same character as the extreme south. Now, however, comes a
point of especial interest for our bacteriological age. The primitive
Makonde did not enjoy their lives in the marshy river-valleys.
Disease raged among them, and many died. It was only after they
had returned to their original home near Mahuta, that the health
conditions of these people improved. We are very apt to think of the
African as a stupid person whose ignorance of nature is only equalled
by his fear of it, and who looks on all mishaps as caused by evil
spirits and malignant natural powers. It is much more correct to
assume in this case that the people very early learnt to distinguish
districts infested with malaria from those where it is absent.
This knowledge is crystallized in the
ancestral warning against settling in the
valleys and near the great waters, the
dwelling-places of disease and death. At the
same time, for security against the hostile
Mavia south of the Rovuma, it was enacted
that every settlement must be not less than a
certain distance from the southern edge of the
plateau. Such in fact is their mode of life at the
present day. It is not such a bad one, and
certainly they are both safer and more
comfortable than the Makua, the recent
intruders from the south, who have made USUAL METHOD OF
good their footing on the western edge of the CLOSING HUT-DOOR
plateau, extending over a fairly wide belt of
country. Neither Makua nor Makonde show in their dwellings
anything of the size and comeliness of the Yao houses in the plain,
especially at Masasi, Chingulungulu and Zuza’s. Jumbe Chauro, a
Makonde hamlet not far from Newala, on the road to Mahuta, is the
most important settlement of the tribe I have yet seen, and has fairly
spacious huts. But how slovenly is their construction compared with
the palatial residences of the elephant-hunters living in the plain.
The roofs are still more untidy than in the general run of huts during
the dry season, the walls show here and there the scanty beginnings
or the lamentable remains of the mud plastering, and the interior is a
veritable dog-kennel; dirt, dust and disorder everywhere. A few huts
only show any attempt at division into rooms, and this consists
merely of very roughly-made bamboo partitions. In one point alone
have I noticed any indication of progress—in the method of fastening
the door. Houses all over the south are secured in a simple but
ingenious manner. The door consists of a set of stout pieces of wood
or bamboo, tied with bark-string to two cross-pieces, and moving in
two grooves round one of the door-posts, so as to open inwards. If
the owner wishes to leave home, he takes two logs as thick as a man’s
upper arm and about a yard long. One of these is placed obliquely
against the middle of the door from the inside, so as to form an angle
of from 60° to 75° with the ground. He then places the second piece
horizontally across the first, pressing it downward with all his might.
It is kept in place by two strong posts planted in the ground a few
inches inside the door. This fastening is absolutely safe, but of course
cannot be applied to both doors at once, otherwise how could the
owner leave or enter his house? I have not yet succeeded in finding
out how the back door is fastened.
MAKONDE LOCK AND KEY AT JUMBE CHAURO

This is the general way of closing a house. The Makonde at Jumbe
Chauro, however, have a much more complicated, solid and original
one. Here, too, the door is as already described, except that there is
only one post on the inside, standing by itself about six inches from
one side of the doorway. Opposite this post is a hole in the wall just
large enough to admit a man’s arm. The door is closed inside by a
large wooden bolt passing through a hole in this post and pressing
with its free end against the door. The other end has three holes into
which fit three pegs running in vertical grooves inside the post. The
door is opened with a wooden key about a foot long, somewhat
curved and sloped off at the butt; the other end has three pegs
corresponding to the holes, in the bolt, so that, when it is thrust
through the hole in the wall and inserted into the rectangular
opening in the post, the pegs can be lifted and the bolt drawn out.[50]
MODE OF INSERTING THE KEY
With no small pride first one householder and then a second

showed me on the spot the action of this greatest invention of the
Makonde Highlands. To both with an admiring exclamation of
“Vizuri sana!” (“Very fine!”). I expressed the wish to take back these
marvels with me to Ulaya, to show the Wazungu what clever fellows
the Makonde are. Scarcely five minutes after my return to camp at
Newala, the two men came up sweating under the weight of two
heavy logs which they laid down at my feet, handing over at the same
time the keys of the fallen fortress. Arguing, logically enough, that if
the key was wanted, the lock would be wanted with it, they had taken
their axes and chopped down the posts—as it never occurred to them
to dig them out of the ground and so bring them intact. Thus I have
two badly damaged specimens, and the owners, instead of praise,
come in for a blowing-up.
The Makua huts in the environs of Newala are especially
miserable; their more than slovenly construction reminds one of the
temporary erections of the Makua at Hatia’s, though the people here
have not been concerned in a war. It must therefore be due to
congenital idleness, or else to the absence of a powerful chief. Even
the baraza at Mlipa’s, a short hour’s walk south-east of Newala,
shares in this general neglect. While public buildings in this country
are usually looked after more or less carefully, this is in evident
danger of being blown over by the first strong easterly gale. The only
attractive object in this whole district is the grave of the late chief
Mlipa. I visited it in the morning, while the sun was still trying with
partial success to break through the rolling mists, and the circular
grove of tall euphorbias, which, with a broken pot, is all that marks
the old king’s resting-place, impressed one with a touch of pathos.
Even my very materially-minded carriers seemed to feel something
of the sort, for instead of their usual ribald songs, they chanted
solemnly, as we marched on through the dense green of the Makonde
bush:—
“We shall arrive with the great master; we stand in a row and have
no fear about getting our food and our money from the Serkali (the
Government). We are not afraid; we are going along with the great
master, the lion; we are going down to the coast and back.”
With regard to the characteristic features of the various tribes here
on the western edge of the plateau, I can arrive at no other
conclusion than the one already come to in the plain, viz., that it is
impossible for anyone but a trained anthropologist to assign any
given individual at once to his proper tribe. In fact, I think that even
an anthropological specialist, after the most careful examination,
might find it a difficult task to decide. The whole congeries of peoples
collected in the region bounded on the west by the great Central
African rift, Tanganyika and Nyasa, and on the east by the Indian
Ocean, are closely related to each other—some of their languages are
only distinguished from one another as dialects of the same speech,
and no doubt all the tribes present the same shape of skull and
structure of skeleton. Thus, surely, there can be no very striking
differences in outward appearance.
Even did such exist, I should have no time
to concern myself with them, for day after day,
I have to see or hear, as the case may be—in
any case to grasp and record—an
extraordinary number of ethnographic
phenomena. I am almost disposed to think it
fortunate that some departments of inquiry, at
least, are barred by external circumstances.
Chief among these is the subject of iron-
working. We are apt to think of Africa as a
country where iron ore is everywhere, so to
speak, to be picked up by the roadside, and
where it would be quite surprising if the
inhabitants had not learnt to smelt the
material ready to their hand. In fact, the
knowledge of this art ranges all over the
continent, from the Kabyles in the north to the
Kafirs in the south. Here between the Rovuma
and the Lukuledi the conditions are not so
favourable. According to the statements of the
Makonde, neither ironstone nor any other
form of iron ore is known to them. They have
not therefore advanced to the art of smelting
the metal, but have hitherto bought all their
THE ANCESTRESS OF
THE MAKONDE
iron implements from neighbouring tribes.
Even in the plain the inhabitants are not much
better off. Only one man now living is said to
understand the art of smelting iron. This old fundi lives close to
Huwe, that isolated, steep-sided block of granite which rises out of
the green solitude between Masasi and Chingulungulu, and whose
jagged and splintered top meets the traveller’s eye everywhere. While
still at Masasi I wished to see this man at work, but was told that,
frightened by the rising, he had retired across the Rovuma, though
he would soon return. All subsequent inquiries as to whether the
fundi had come back met with the genuine African answer, “Bado”
(“Not yet”).
BRAZIER
Some consolation was afforded me by a brassfounder, whom I

came across in the bush near Akundonde’s. This man is the favourite
of women, and therefore no doubt of the gods; he welds the glittering
brass rods purchased at the coast into those massive, heavy rings
which, on the wrists and ankles of the local fair ones, continually give
me fresh food for admiration. Like every decent master-craftsman he
had all his tools with him, consisting of a pair of bellows, three
crucibles and a hammer—nothing more, apparently. He was quite
willing to show his skill, and in a twinkling had fixed his bellows on
the ground. They are simply two goat-skins, taken off whole, the four
legs being closed by knots, while the upper opening, intended to
admit the air, is kept stretched by two pieces of wood. At the lower
end of the skin a smaller opening is left into which a wooden tube is
stuck. The fundi has quickly borrowed a heap of wood-embers from
the nearest hut; he then fixes the free ends of the two tubes into an
earthen pipe, and clamps them to the ground by means of a bent
piece of wood. Now he fills one of his small clay crucibles, the dross
on which shows that they have been long in use, with the yellow
material, places it in the midst of the embers, which, at present are
only faintly glimmering, and begins his work. In quick alternation
the smith’s two hands move up and down with the open ends of the
bellows; as he raises his hand he holds the slit wide open, so as to let
the air enter the skin bag unhindered. In pressing it down he closes
the bag, and the air puffs through the bamboo tube and clay pipe into
the fire, which quickly burns up. The smith, however, does not keep
on with this work, but beckons to another man, who relieves him at
the bellows, while he takes some more tools out of a large skin pouch
carried on his back. I look on in wonder as, with a smooth round
stick about the thickness of a finger, he bores a few vertical holes into
the clean sand of the soil. This should not be difficult, yet the man
seems to be taking great pains over it. Then he fastens down to the
ground, with a couple of wooden clamps, a neat little trough made by
splitting a joint of bamboo in half, so that the ends are closed by the
two knots. At last the yellow metal has attained the right consistency,
and the fundi lifts the crucible from the fire by means of two sticks
split at the end to serve as tongs. A short swift turn to the left—a
tilting of the crucible—and the molten brass, hissing and giving forth
clouds of smoke, flows first into the bamboo mould and then into the
holes in the ground.
The technique of this backwoods craftsman may not be very far
advanced, but it cannot be denied that he knows how to obtain an
adequate result by the simplest means. The ladies of highest rank in
this country—that is to say, those who can afford it, wear two kinds
of these massive brass rings, one cylindrical, the other semicircular
in section. The latter are cast in the most ingenious way in the
bamboo mould, the former in the circular hole in the sand. It is quite
a simple matter for the fundi to fit these bars to the limbs of his fair
customers; with a few light strokes of his hammer he bends the
pliable brass round arm or ankle without further inconvenience to
the wearer.
SHAPING THE POT
SMOOTHING WITH MAIZE-COB
CUTTING THE EDGE

FINISHING THE BOTTOM
LAST SMOOTHING BEFORE

BURNING
FIRING THE BRUSH-PILE

LIGHTING THE FARTHER SIDE OF
THE PILE
TURNING THE RED-HOT VESSEL
NYASA WOMAN MAKING POTS AT MASASI

Pottery is an art which must always and everywhere excite the
interest of the student, just because it is so intimately connected with
the development of human culture, and because its relics are one of
the principal factors in the reconstruction of our own condition in
prehistoric times. I shall always remember with pleasure the two or
three afternoons at Masasi when Salim Matola’s mother, a slightly-
built, graceful, pleasant-looking woman, explained to me with
touching patience, by means of concrete illustrations, the ceramic art
of her people. The only implements for this primitive process were a
lump of clay in her left hand, and in the right a calabash containing
the following valuables: the fragment of a maize-cob stripped of all
its grains, a smooth, oval pebble, about the size of a pigeon’s egg, a
few chips of gourd-shell, a bamboo splinter about the length of one’s
hand, a small shell, and a bunch of some herb resembling spinach.
Nothing more. The woman scraped with the
shell a round, shallow hole in the soft, fine
sand of the soil, and, when an active young
girl had filled the calabash with water for her,
she began to knead the clay. As if by magic it
gradually assumed the shape of a rough but
already well-shaped vessel, which only wanted
a little touching up with the instruments
before mentioned. I looked out with the
MAKUA WOMAN closest attention for any indication of the use
MAKING A POT. of the potter’s wheel, in however rudimentary
SHOWS THE a form, but no—hapana (there is none). The
BEGINNINGS OF THE embryo pot stood firmly in its little
POTTER’S WHEEL
depression, and the woman walked round it in
a stooping posture, whether she was removing
small stones or similar foreign bodies with the maize-cob, smoothing
the inner or outer surface with the splinter of bamboo, or later, after
letting it dry for a day, pricking in the ornamentation with a pointed
bit of gourd-shell, or working out the bottom, or cutting the edge
with a sharp bamboo knife, or giving the last touches to the finished
vessel. This occupation of the women is infinitely toilsome, but it is
without doubt an accurate reproduction of the process in use among
our ancestors of the Neolithic and Bronze ages.
There is no doubt that the invention of pottery, an item in human
progress whose importance cannot be over-estimated, is due to
women. Rough, coarse and unfeeling, the men of the horde range
over the countryside. When the united cunning of the hunters has
succeeded in killing the game; not one of them thinks of carrying
home the spoil. A bright fire, kindled by a vigorous wielding of the
drill, is crackling beside them; the animal has been cleaned and cut
up secundum artem, and, after a slight singeing, will soon disappear
under their sharp teeth; no one all this time giving a single thought
to wife or child.
To what shifts, on the other hand, the primitive wife, and still more
the primitive mother, was put! Not even prehistoric stomachs could
endure an unvarying diet of raw food. Something or other suggested
the beneficial effect of hot water on the majority of approved but
indigestible dishes. Perhaps a neighbour had tried holding the hard
roots or tubers over the fire in a calabash filled with water—or maybe
an ostrich-egg-shell, or a hastily improvised vessel of bark. They
became much softer and more palatable than they had previously
been; but, unfortunately, the vessel could not stand the fire and got
charred on the outside. That can be remedied, thought our
ancestress, and plastered a layer of wet clay round a similar vessel.
This is an improvement; the cooking utensil remains uninjured, but
the heat of the fire has shrunk it, so that it is loose in its shell. The
next step is to detach it, so, with a firm grip and a jerk, shell and
kernel are separated, and pottery is invented. Perhaps, however, the
discovery which led to an intelligent use of the burnt-clay shell, was
made in a slightly different way. Ostrich-eggs and calabashes are not
to be found in every part of the world, but everywhere mankind has
arrived at the art of making baskets out of pliant materials, such as
bark, bast, strips of palm-leaf, supple twigs, etc. Our inventor has no
water-tight vessel provided by nature. “Never mind, let us line the
basket with clay.” This answers the purpose, but alas! the basket gets
burnt over the blazing fire, the woman watches the process of
cooking with increasing uneasiness, fearing a leak, but no leak
appears. The food, done to a turn, is eaten with peculiar relish; and
the cooking-vessel is examined, half in curiosity, half in satisfaction
at the result. The plastic clay is now hard as stone, and at the same
time looks exceedingly well, for the neat plaiting of the burnt basket
is traced all over it in a pretty pattern. Thus, simultaneously with
pottery, its ornamentation was invented.
Primitive woman has another claim to respect. It was the man,
roving abroad, who invented the art of producing fire at will, but the
woman, unable to imitate him in this, has been a Vestal from the
earliest times. Nothing gives so much trouble as the keeping alight of
the smouldering brand, and, above all, when all the men are absent
from the camp. Heavy rain-clouds gather, already the first large
drops are falling, the first gusts of the storm rage over the plain. The
little flame, a greater anxiety to the woman than her own children,
flickers unsteadily in the blast. What is to be done? A sudden thought
occurs to her, and in an instant she has constructed a primitive hut
out of strips of bark, to protect the flame against rain and wind.
This, or something very like it, was the way in which the principle
of the house was discovered; and even the most hardened misogynist
cannot fairly refuse a woman the credit of it. The protection of the
hearth-fire from the weather is the germ from which the human
dwelling was evolved. Men had little, if any share, in this forward
step, and that only at a late stage. Even at the present day, the
plastering of the housewall with clay and the manufacture of pottery
are exclusively the women’s business. These are two very significant
survivals. Our European kitchen-garden, too, is originally a woman’s
invention, and the hoe, the primitive instrument of agriculture, is,
characteristically enough, still used in this department. But the
noblest achievement which we owe to the other sex is unquestionably
the art of cookery. Roasting alone—the oldest process—is one for
which men took the hint (a very obvious one) from nature. It must
have been suggested by the scorched carcase of some animal
overtaken by the destructive forest-fires. But boiling—the process of
improving organic substances by the help of water heated to boiling-
point—is a much later discovery. It is so recent that it has not even
yet penetrated to all parts of the world. The Polynesians understand
how to steam food, that is, to cook it, neatly wrapped in leaves, in a
hole in the earth between hot stones, the air being excluded, and
(sometimes) a few drops of water sprinkled on the stones; but they
do not understand boiling.
To come back from this digression, we find that the slender Nyasa
woman has, after once more carefully examining the finished pot,
put it aside in the shade to dry. On the following day she sends me
word by her son, Salim Matola, who is always on hand, that she is
going to do the burning, and, on coming out of my house, I find her
already hard at work. She has spread on the ground a layer of very
dry sticks, about as thick as one’s thumb, has laid the pot (now of a
yellowish-grey colour) on them, and is piling brushwood round it.
My faithful Pesa mbili, the mnyampara, who has been standing by,
most obligingly, with a lighted stick, now hands it to her. Both of
them, blowing steadily, light the pile on the lee side, and, when the
flame begins to catch, on the weather side also. Soon the whole is in a
blaze, but the dry fuel is quickly consumed and the fire dies down, so
that we see the red-hot vessel rising from the ashes. The woman
turns it continually with a long stick, sometimes one way and
sometimes another, so that it may be evenly heated all over. In
twenty minutes she rolls it out of the ash-heap, takes up the bundle
of spinach, which has been lying for two days in a jar of water, and
sprinkles the red-hot clay with it. The places where the drops fall are
marked by black spots on the uniform reddish-brown surface. With a
sigh of relief, and with visible satisfaction, the woman rises to an
erect position; she is standing just in a line between me and the fire,
from which a cloud of smoke is just rising: I press the ball of my
camera, the shutter clicks—the apotheosis is achieved! Like a
priestess, representative of her inventive sex, the graceful woman
stands: at her feet the hearth-fire she has given us beside her the
invention she has devised for us, in the background the home she has
built for us.
At Newala, also, I have had the manufacture of pottery carried on
in my presence. Technically the process is better than that already
described, for here we find the beginnings of the potter’s wheel,
which does not seem to exist in the plains; at least I have seen
nothing of the sort. The artist, a frightfully stupid Makua woman, did
not make a depression in the ground to receive the pot she was about
to shape, but used instead a large potsherd. Otherwise, she went to
work in much the same way as Salim’s mother, except that she saved
herself the trouble of walking round and round her work by squatting
at her ease and letting the pot and potsherd rotate round her; this is
surely the first step towards a machine. But it does not follow that
the pot was improved by the process. It is true that it was beautifully
rounded and presented a very creditable appearance when finished,
but the numerous large and small vessels which I have seen, and, in
part, collected, in the “less advanced” districts, are no less so. We
moderns imagine that instruments of precision are necessary to
produce excellent results. Go to the prehistoric collections of our
museums and look at the pots, urns and bowls of our ancestors in the
dim ages of the past, and you will at once perceive your error.
MAKING LONGITUDINAL CUT IN
BARK
DRAWING THE BARK OFF THE LOG
REMOVING THE OUTER BARK

BEATING THE BARK
WORKING THE BARK-CLOTH AFTER BEATING, TO MAKE IT

SOFT
MANUFACTURE OF BARK-CLOTH AT NEWALA

To-day, nearly the whole population of German East Africa is
clothed in imported calico. This was not always the case; even now in
some parts of the north dressed skins are still the prevailing wear,
and in the north-western districts—east and north of Lake
Tanganyika—lies a zone where bark-cloth has not yet been
superseded. Probably not many generations have passed since such
bark fabrics and kilts of skins were the only clothing even in the
south. Even to-day, large quantities of this bright-red or drab
material are still to be found; but if we wish to see it, we must look in
the granaries and on the drying stages inside the native huts, where
it serves less ambitious uses as wrappings for those seeds and fruits
which require to be packed with special care. The salt produced at
Masasi, too, is packed for transport to a distance in large sheets of
bark-cloth. Wherever I found it in any degree possible, I studied the
process of making this cloth. The native requisitioned for the
purpose arrived, carrying a log between two and three yards long and
as thick as his thigh, and nothing else except a curiously-shaped
mallet and the usual long, sharp and pointed knife which all men and
boys wear in a belt at their backs without a sheath—horribile dictu!
[51]
Silently he squats down before me, and with two rapid cuts has
drawn a couple of circles round the log some two yards apart, and
slits the bark lengthwise between them with the point of his knife.
With evident care, he then scrapes off the outer rind all round the
log, so that in a quarter of an hour the inner red layer of the bark
shows up brightly-coloured between the two untouched ends. With
some trouble and much caution, he now loosens the bark at one end,
and opens the cylinder. He then stands up, takes hold of the free
edge with both hands, and turning it inside out, slowly but steadily
pulls it off in one piece. Now comes the troublesome work of
scraping all superfluous particles of outer bark from the outside of
the long, narrow piece of material, while the inner side is carefully
scrutinised for defective spots. At last it is ready for beating. Having
signalled to a friend, who immediately places a bowl of water beside
him, the artificer damps his sheet of bark all over, seizes his mallet,
lays one end of the stuff on the smoothest spot of the log, and
hammers away slowly but continuously. “Very simple!” I think to
myself. “Why, I could do that, too!”—but I am forced to change my
opinions a little later on; for the beating is quite an art, if the fabric is
not to be beaten to pieces. To prevent the breaking of the fibres, the
stuff is several times folded across, so as to interpose several
thicknesses between the mallet and the block. At last the required
state is reached, and the fundi seizes the sheet, still folded, by both
ends, and wrings it out, or calls an assistant to take one end while he
holds the other. The cloth produced in this way is not nearly so fine
and uniform in texture as the famous Uganda bark-cloth, but it is
quite soft, and, above all, cheap.
Now, too, I examine the mallet. My craftsman has been using the
simpler but better form of this implement, a conical block of some
hard wood, its base—the striking surface—being scored across and
across with more or less deeply-cut grooves, and the handle stuck
into a hole in the middle. The other and earlier form of mallet is
shaped in the same way, but the head is fastened by an ingenious
network of bark strips into the split bamboo serving as a handle. The
observation so often made, that ancient customs persist longest in
connection with religious ceremonies and in the life of children, here
finds confirmation. As we shall soon see, bark-cloth is still worn
during the unyago,[52] having been prepared with special solemn
ceremonies; and many a mother, if she has no other garment handy,
will still put her little one into a kilt of bark-cloth, which, after all,
looks better, besides being more in keeping with its African
surroundings, than the ridiculous bit of print from Ulaya.
MAKUA WOMEN

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Advantage Books: Looking Out

PART II Looking Out

Culture and Language 203

Part III Looking At Relational Dynamics

Communication in Romantic Relationships 333

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Russ Proctor is a professor at Northern Kentucky University, where his

Here are the topics

Key Terms 5 Diagnose the effectiveness of various communication

speak the Hebrew language, which was the oldest, or

Fortunately, contemporary researchers have found less barbaric ways to

Other prisoners have also described the punishing effects of social

By contrast, a life that includes positive relationships created through

couples who are effective communicators

Psychologist Abraham Maslow suggested that the physical, identity,

variety of contexts—public speaking, small groups, mass media, etc. Before

Noise Noise Noise Figure 1.1

Noise Noise Noise

• Do you purposely encode every message you send, or do you engage in

A's ENVIRONMENT B's ENVIRONMENT

• Person A might be rushed, and B have nowhere to go.

Zits used with the permission of the Zits Partnership,

are affected by external, physiological,

Interpersonal and Impersonal Communication

Pause and Reflect

Communication Can Be Intentional or Unintentional Some communica-

It’s Impossible Not to Communicate Because both intentional and unin-

Communication Is Unrepeatable Because communication is an ongo-

Newala, too, suffers from the distance of its water-supply—at least

The water-supply of New Newala is in the bottom of the valley,

NATIVE PATH THROUGH THE MAKONDE BUSH, NEAR

MAKONDE LOCK AND KEY AT JUMBE CHAURO

MODE OF INSERTING THE KEY

With no small pride first one householder and then a second

Some consolation was afforded me by a brassfounder, whom I

SMOOTHING WITH MAIZE-COB

CUTTING THE EDGE

LAST SMOOTHING BEFORE

FIRING THE BRUSH-PILE

TURNING THE RED-HOT VESSEL

NYASA WOMAN MAKING POTS AT MASASI

DRAWING THE BARK OFF THE LOG

REMOVING THE OUTER BARK

WORKING THE BARK-CLOTH AFTER BEATING, TO MAKE IT

MANUFACTURE OF BARK-CLOTH AT NEWALA

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