Revision Matrix

Text From my initial A comment or The changes I made How this change
WP submission question I received to what I initially impacts my paper
wrote
WP2: Proofread Allison: It needs to be I fixed the misspells It makes the paper
many small mistakes proofread. and mistakes. look cleaner and
and misspells more academic. Also
makes it easier to
understand.
WP2: adductors, Allison: Kids muscle injuries Helps my intended
hamstrings, wouldn’t understand audience be able to
quadriceps, and this understand.
calves
WP2: Added citation Allison: There are no I added citations for Gives credit where
for quotes citations all my quotes and it’s due
evidence I used
WP2: Finding this Allison: Take another Their journey didn’t I tried to make is
new information, the look at the children's end, it was just the sound more like a
doctors shared their stories. What type of beginning kids story to keep
findings to help the language do they them engaged till the
planet football and use? What is their end
save them. sentence structure?
WP2: As the doctors’ Allison: Take another But fear not! Three Makes the genre into
research developed, look at the children's world famous a children’s short
they found that stories. What type of doctors, Martin story keeping them
players playing away language do they Hägglund, Markus engaged.
from home use? What is their Waldén, and Jan
were more likely to sentence structure? Ekstrand are on a
catch the flu. mission to defeat this
cruel flu.
WP2: Having catch Allison: Sounds odd I took the sentence Made it easier and
the flu increases the out and changed the smoother when
chances of getting it structure of the reading
again causing more paragraph
injuries in players.
WP2: Starts with a Allison: What is the Short stories use the I made it into a
title, authors, and the structure of this typical structure complete sentencing
introduction sentence using the setting, making the essay
characters, conflict, look more academic
plot, and point of and reliable.
view.

I used a made-up
 WP2: The setting, Allison: Where is the setting, plot, conflict, Added a verb to
characters, conflict, Verb? and characters that make it a complete
plot, and point of were all translated sentences making the
view. from the academic essay sound more
journal academic.
WP1: The contrast of Allison: Thesis This essay Thesis answers the
these different doesn’t quite answer highlights the prompt
perspectives the prompt differences between
demonstrates how the disciplines and
while the scientific the scholarly
view offers specific communities that are
information crucial made through their
approaches in
for a player’s well-
understanding
being, the political
football but argues
perspective reveals why more than one
socio-cultural discipline is needed
pyramid established on a topic.
by football,
solidifying its status
as a global
phenomenon with
far-reaching
implications beyond
the confines of the
pitch.
WP1: Citation Alisson: Citation? Added citation to Gives credit where
quotes and evidence it’s due
WP1: second Allison: Paragraph I changed the Helps back up my
paragraph with no point structure to make a thesis
point in the second
paragraph
WP1: No conventions Allison: Missing I added information Helps prove the
or structure convention and about the structure argument I am
structure and convention making
WP!: One genre Allison: Only one I added another Answers the prompt
convention genre convention genre convention
when two are
needed

WP1: Not enough

differences in Allison: What does it
tell us about the
 disciplines difference between Stated the Proves my argument
the disciplines in differences clearly and thesis
general in terms of
values, goals,
audience, etc?
WP2: No plot Allison: Where is the I made up a plot Makes the genre
Plot using the academic translation and
journal makes It more
engaging for my
intended audience