Space exploration is a luxury we cannot afford.

Instead of spending billions of dol-

lars on space programs, governments should use the money to fight global prob-
lems such as poverty, disease and climate change.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

The bar chart illustrates how often individuals in the United States eat at fast food
restaurants in the years 2003, 2006, and 2013. The data is split into 6 categories,
namely: every day, several times a week, once a week, once or twice a month, a few
times a year, and never. The highest frequency of people who ate at fast food restau-
rants was once a week in 2003 and 2006. In comparison, most people opted to ate at
fast food restaurants once or two times a month in 2013. On the other hand, there
were fewer Americans who ate fast food restaurants daily.

<<< >>> BRING THESE SENTENCES TOGETHER INTO ONE PARAGRAPH

<<<< >>>>
___
OKAY… THIS IS MESSY FOR GENERAL TRENDS

HIGHEST - ONCE A WEEK / ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH

MIDDLE - SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK / A FEW TIMES A YEAR
LOWEST - EVERY DAY OR NEVER…

I ONLY READ ABOUT 3 OF THESE IN YOUR GENERAL TRENDS…. THERE ARE 6!

The percentage of people who ate at fast food restaurants was 31% in 2003, then it
climbed to 33% in 2006, while the percentage sharply decreased to about 27% in
2013. However, there were just 30% of people who chose to have fast food in
restaurants in 2003, it dropped 5% to 25% in 2006, then drastically increased to
33% in 2013. By contrast, less than 5% of people ate at fast food restaurants in the
given periods.

THIS ISN’T CLEAR AT ALL… YOU NEED TO DESCRIBE THE DATA FULLY.

TWO PARAGRAPHS TO DESCRIBE THE DATA

P1 - ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH/ONCE A WEEK

P2 - SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK, A FEW TIMES A MONTH

/EVERY DAY/NEVER

IT’S JUST NOT CLEAR! THERE’S NO WAY YOU CAN DISCUSS 6 DATA POINTS (WITH
THREE DIFFERENT BARS EACH) IN 78 WORDS

BAND 5! 😭

In CONTEMPORARY TIMES, due to space exploration becoming aN INCREASING

TREND that appeals to TRAVELLERS to explore the unknown world, some people
consider governmentS need to develop theIR space programS. However, space ex-
ploration is way too expensive which will cost government the heavy financial prob-
lem. Instead of space travel, I believe that making of the most budget to improve res-
idents’ health is more important.

IN ORDER To plan the space advanced development GOVERNMENTS require a huge

amount of money. SHORT SENTENCE. Though it is important that space exploration
indeed benefits scientific research and the future of people, the result needs the
time (not money) and resources to analyze. It might be easy for some billionaires to
spend tons of money to develop the business of spacecraft, but government should
take serious on planning the budget. (NOT A RESULT) For instance, Elon Musk in-
vested more than one trillion US dollars and nearly 20 years to develop rockets.

Cancer
AIDs

In the aging society, people need the government to raise the percentage of the bud-
get on the healthcare system. The health of our elders is one of the serious ongoing
issues facing our communities, and young people often need to spend more time car-
ing for older family members. If the government can spend money on building a
sound long-term care system solve the problem that could let young laborers enter
the workplace without any worries. Therefore, a society with a better health system
HAS time to invest IN its future in space exploration. (NOT an example, this is a RE-
SULT, also it doesn’t make sense!)

You are given 3 examples in the question… I think you should use one of them! Elderly
healthcare is not really considered to be what we call a ‘global problem’.

To conclude, space exploration 😭is an important advancement which will cost an

extreme amount of money and a long time to develop. However, we need to face the
health problem at the moment first. After the priority has been done, I believe our
community will embrace the stage of space exploration 😭😭😭.

BAND 5-5.5

introduction - paraphrase

if you have to repeat vocabulary

once is nice
twice is nice
three times… you are pushing…