9/11

Space exploration is a luxury we cannot afford. Instead of spending billions of dollars

on space programs, governments should use the money to fight global problems such
as poverty, disease and climate change.
To what extend do you agree with this opinion?

Given the considerable amount of expense that a space travel costs, some people insist
that states should prioritize worldwide issues, including socioeconomic status divideS,
insufficient healthcare serviceS, and environmental problems. From my opinion,
thought the exploration of outer-space might provide significant contribution to scien-
tific improvement, it is humankind suffering that should be positioned in the first
place.

Okay!

The preparation of any space-related program faces great uncertainty, and I believe
that governments should pay more attention on ongoing suffering of their people, es-
pecially most of the global issues directly influence people’s quality of life. When a
nation decides to undertake a space exploration, it is possible for the government to
raise taxes in order to acquire enough economic basis for its plan. Regarding many
populaces are forced to bear extra economic burdens whilst they are still struggling to
live a dignified life, I think states should have used national budget to secure and im-
prove the global issues that affects every one. For example, a widespread pandemic
poses an immediate threat to people’s health, whilst whether a space travel may not
carry the same level of importance.

Sandra, this is off structure again…

Why did you give an example (evidence/ support) before you explore your idea
(extend) of human suffering?

PRESENT
EXTEND
EXTEND
SUPPORT

Nonetheless, I do agree that space exploration can be essential if WE take THE deteri-
orating environment into account. Due to the environment issue, the Earth is highly
possible to become inhabitable in the near future. According to scientists, there are
some planets possess the potentiality to be humankind’s future habitant, such as Mars.
Hence, considering environmental global warming, it is crucial to rummage for a
substitute of the Earth through data collection and analysis through space travels. For
instance, states and non-governmental organizations have been emphasized the horri-
fying consequences that can be brought out by global warming, including sea level
raising and climate change, however, the temperature of the Earth steadily to increase.
Though the importance of space programs is noticed, I believe that outer space devel-
opment is a risky process and cannot be compared to people’s compelling danger at
the moment. Consequently, I think states should have examine the global issues in ad-
vance.

Nice ideas, but the structure is everywhere! Messy!

Band 6