What Women Think About Their

Husbands
By Chase Amante

Just wrote this in response to an

interesting conversation
elsewhere on the Internet, and
want to share here. Hope you
enjoy.

Most women, like most men,

think about what the other
person "owes" them more than
what they owe the other person.
The women I've hooked up with
who were straying from their
husbands seemed to come in
one of two flavors:

Woman Scorned, or
Desperate Housewife

I've never slept with a married woman who was excited about /
crazy in love with her husband. Here are some comments from the
women who've spoken them:

Woman Scorned

"He cheated on me when he was over in Singapore, but he didn't

think I'd find out. Well, I did. And do you know what I did then? I
cheated on him back!" -- told to me by a beautiful, model-esque
married 21 y/o American chick on our first date

"We got married at 18 but we shouldn't have. It was a mistake. It's

probably going to end soon." -- told to me by another married 21 y/o
American chick I met at a party and shagged later that night

Desperate Housewife

"I'm traditional and I don't have sex before marriage." -- told to me

by a 29 y/o Chinese chick before our first date. We then proceeded
to have sex on that first date, and she talked about how she wanted
a husband. A few months later I got a phone call back from that
husband when I gave this gal a call. She apparently (according to
him) married him for citizenship and security but had no respect for
him. Oh, and he'd married her either the week before or the week
after our encounter, and she'd been seeing him for a year at that
point.

"My husband's a great guy." -- told to me by a married 29 y/o

American chick I pulled back to her hotel room, made out with and
played around with on her bed and would have slept with had I not
had the runs that night. Note that she said that early on before we
got naughty; all she said later was, "You're bad for me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women who stray from LTRs do so (in my experience) because the

guy isn't giving them what they think they're owed. That may be
exclusivity, or a good relationship, or security (the women scorned),
or it may just be excitement, romance, and good sex (the desperate
housewives).

But, just going off that, there are a LOT of reasons a woman may
think she isn't getting what she's owed. Depending on her
temperament, how tightly wound she is, and how low or high her
barriers to sex are, it seems to take a higher or lower threshold of
anger / boredom to inspire infidelity.

The reason I go into this is to illustrate the two different ways

women think about their long-term relationships, in my opinion:

Some women see their long-term man as POWERFUL and IN-

CHARGE, and when they don't get what they want from him,
they can become angry and bitter and resentful and try to hurt
him and get revenge (just as children rebel against parents they
feel have denied them what they're owed), or else seek out
comfort sex from another (safer, usually) man to rebuild their
self-esteem and make them feel good again (this is more once
a woman has decided a relationship is over and is trying to
rebound).

Other women see their long-term man as WEAK and OWNED,

and find him boring, predictable, and too safe. As a result, they
feel like they aren't getting the excitement / stimulation they're
owed, and feel entitled to get it somewhere else (and I'm
certainly not arguing with them!).

The ideal way for a woman in a long-term relationship to view you is

as a powerful man in charge of the relationship, while feeling that
you are meeting all of her needs. If she begins feeling like you're
failing to meet her needs, she'll begin resenting you, getting pissy
and dramatic, and pulling away.

If, on the other hand, a man gives her TOO much security, she'll take
him for granted, grow bored with him and think of him as sitting
safely at home waiting for her – perhaps while she seeks thrills in
the arms and beds of other men.
The only time I see long-term relationships that seem to be running
admirably are the ones in which the man keeps the woman on her
toes while meeting most / all of her needs. Usually the guy is
considerate, but doesn't mind giving her a hard time and still teases
and challenges her even if they are (supposedly) exclusive and have
been seeing each other for a while. He refuses to let it get
comfortable.

The women in relationships like that seem to think of their men as

sexy, mysterious, challenging, and attractive, and I find them the
most difficult to move attraction forward with in general. They're
already pretty happy with their man, and it's a hard sell for me to get
them to do something with me. The situation needs to be just right,
and it's a lot better if she's just had a fight with him (and is veering
into Woman Scorned territory).

I'll sum it up. In my opinion, there are three ways a woman can view
a man (going from one extreme to the other):

"Ah, my safe, boring husband, sitting at home waiting for me.

Maybe I'll just have a little fun with this other guy -- what
husband doesn't know won't hurt him!"

"Mmm, husband is sending me naughty texts again. Ooh, I

can't wait to get home and see him."

"Blech, my husband is such a jerk. I can't believe he did XYZ

thing AGAIN. I'll show him, though. Two can play that game.
Come here, handsome stranger..."

Basically, it's all about HER and what she WANTS. If she WANTS her
long-term guy, she'll go for sex with him. If she wants revenge on
him, or has lost sexual interest in him, she'll go for sex with someone
else.
It's the man's job in a long-term relationship to keep things fresh
and exciting and challenging while simultaneously meeting the
woman's needs. Otherwise, the balance fails and she ventures into
Woman Scorned or Desperate Housewife land.

Depending on the woman, she may swing back and forth from these
modes at different times. Aim for the happy medium, but err on the
side of being a jerk rather than being boring. Easier to recover from
jerkdom than bore-city, in my opinion.

Also keep in mind that women don't get pissed off and seek revenge
on men they don't care about. You'll never see a girl getting revenge
sex or rebound sex over some FWB she had for three months that
she never really was all that interested in. They only get pissed off at
guys they've bought into and are working to please (or think should
be pleased with them, in any event) and feel like their efforts are
being unrewarded and the guy in question isn't holding up his end of
the bargain.

Chase Amante

About the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of

being alone. So, he set to work and read
every book he could find, studied every
teacher he could meet, and talked to
every girl he could talk to to figure out
dating. After four years, scads of lays, and
many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he
launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about
girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

GET CHASEʼS MASTERY PACKAGE

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