Women Love Sexist Men

By Chase Amante

One of the things you realize

when you first start flirting with
women more and more is that
many of these things youʼd
previously assumed were bad
to say because women would
find them ‘offensiveʼ actually
turn out to win you points with
girls.

You tease a woman about how all

women care about is gossiping
and backstabbing, and she
laughs and punches you in the
shoulder.

You have a girl whoʼs on the fence about going along or not with
something youʼve invited her to, and you bullishly insist, like the
asshole bad boy you are (or are trying to be), and she relents and
goes along with it... and immediately, you notice a big spike in her
attraction to you.

She asks you if you believe in equality in relationships, and becomes

submissive and affectionate after you tell her you find it impossible
to buy into that nonsense, because the fact is that men are men and
women are women and relationships work better when each
accepts their roles and lives up to them.

All these things are things that shouldnʼt happen, youʼd think, if
youʼve spent much time consuming the media on TV or the Internet
or youʼve spent a lot of time listening to what women say they want.

Yet, they happen anyway.

The term “sexist” has been used as a weapon for a few decades by
women seeking to get concessions out of men. Itʼs shaming
language that employs moral superiority to confuse an opponent
and instill fear of ostracism in him, frequently leading him to back
down and go on the defensive or make peace offerings.

In other words, labeling someone a “sexist” is a pretty useful way

to get them to do or give you whatever you want.

I havenʼt been hearing the term as much lately, perhaps because itʼs
jumped the shark. Nowadays, someone crying, “Thatʼs sexist!” is as
likely to receive scathing derision for moaning and whining as she is
to spy a battalion of white knights riding valiantly to her defense.

Crying “sexist”, too, is a clear sign of victim mentality, and lately

our culture has been so awash in victim mentality that the patience
of most of society seems to be wearing very thin for this.

Now that everyone is a victim (really... find me someone in the West

who doesnʼt see him or herself as a victim in some way these days;
itʼs endemic in Western society), victims no longer get the special
treatment and privileges they have been afforded in spades the last
50 or so years.

Letʼs return to the term “sexist.”

“Sexist” doesnʼt just mean someone who hates or dislikes the

opposite sex, you may not realize.

The term “sexist” more generally gets used to mean anyone who
sees the roles of the sexes in society as being different.

If you think men and women have different roles in a relationship,

youʼre sexist.

If you think men and women have different natural interests, youʼre
sexist.

If you think men and women have different skills and capabilities,
youʼre sexist.

And now, the latest research on sexism is that women like sexist
men BEST.

How Sexy are Sexist Men?

From the journal Sex Roles comes this 2010 study, titled “How Sexy
are Sexist Men? Womenʼs Perception of Male Response Profiles in
the Ambivalent Sexism Inventory”:

“In Studies 1 to 3, German female students (total N = 326) rated

the likability and typicality of male targets: a nonsexist, a
benevolent sexist, a hostile sexist, and (in Studies 2 and 3) an
ambivalent sexist. When targets were presented as response
profiles in the Ambivalent Sexism Inventory (Glick and Fiske
1996) (Studies 2 and 3), the benevolent sexist was rated to be
most likable but least typical, whereas the ambivalent sexist
 was rated to be highly typical. Thus, women were aware of a link
between benevolent and hostile sexism and approved of menʼs
benevolent sexism, especially when it was not paired with hostile
sexism. Likability ratings were moderated by participantsʼ own
benevolent sexism and feminist attitude.”

Unfamiliar with the terms “benevolent sexist” and “hostile sexist”, I

had to do some digging to find out what they mean. Here are the
definitions for both of these, plus “nonsexist”:

1. Nonsexist: someone who is totally gender neutral; sees no

real differences between men and women; men and women are
essentially the same, with only minimal external biological
differences. Believes most differences in behavior are a result
of socialization and cultural / environmental factors; a nonsexist
is a “any sex differences are all nurture and no nature” kind of
guy. The nonsexist is the guy weʼd normally call a boring,
unsexy nice guy on this site.

2. Benevolent Sexist: one half of the “ambivalent sexism”

theoretical framework (Wikipedia link there if youʼre curious),
which holds that all forms of sexism are bad but some are
worse than others. Benevolent sexism is the “nice” half of
sexism that involves things like white knighting, elevation of
womenʼs maternal instincts, putting forth that men ought to be
gentlemen, etc. The benevolent sexist is more or less what we
focus on helping you to be on Girls Chase, sans the over-the-
top white knightery angry nice guy stuff.

3. Hostile Sexist: the other half of ambivalent sexism is the

hostile sexist, who has blatantly negative beliefs about the
opposite sex; e.g., “All men are chauvinist pigs” or “Women are
all unoriginal copycats.” The hostile sexist is the bitter man we
 strongly advise you not be here.

An easy way of distinguishing these is that the benevolent sexist

looks on caringly at members of the opposite sex and enjoys the
differences; the hostile sexist glares at the opposite sex and resents
the differences; and the nonsexist is kind of off in his own gender
neutral mental utopia and doesnʼt really register any of the
differences.

The interesting results from this study of female German studentsʼ

opinions of the various sorts of men were:

Hostile sexist: rated as the least likeable, least sexually

attractive, and most common of all varieties of men

Nonsexist: rated as much more likeable, a fair bit more

sexually attractive, and slightly less common than the hostile
sexist

Benevolent sexist: rated as significantly more likeable and

sexually attractive than either the hostile sexist or the
nonsexist, and a good chunk rarer, too
So, at this point, we now have some research to back up what weʼve
been saying here for years: women much prefer masculine men
who treat them like feminine women to equality-minded nice
guys... and prefer BOTH types of men to BITTER men who
dislike women.

Still worth discussing though, is the link between “hostile” and

“benevolent” sexism... and what it means.

Tools of Repression?

One of the unusual things youʼll encounter reading about sexism

frameworks is the belief by the individuals proposing these that
sexism is a means of repression, used by both men and women,
frequently unconsciously but sometimes consciously, mostly
against women.

This line of thinking is centered on the assumption that the male

lifestyle is the ideal lifestyle for both sexes, and that women have
been cheated of the opportunity to live and do the same things as
men by systematic repression on a global scale.

That would assume, of course, that what women REALLY want is to

conquer the world, lead armies, invent new technologies and
branches of science, explore the deepest depths of the oceans and
the farthest reaches of space, and build themselves legendary
businesses that earn them billions of dollars, all, ultimately, in search
of prestige, contribution to the species, and more mating
opportunities with hot young opposite sex partners than you can
shake a stick at.

Which... well, just about every man slobbers over something like
that, but it just doesnʼt really do it for most women (though there are
a few! Typically very high in testosterone, however, in my
experience).

So, reading about this whole “sexism as tool of repression” thing

strikes me quite distinctly as bunk... especially in light of the fact
that as “sexist repression” has been beaten back in the West and
weʼve moved toward an increasingly nonsexist society, the bottomʼs
fallen out from womenʼs happiness levels, and these keep going
lower and lower.

Thus, try not to get your feathers in a ruffle too much reading this
stuff – itʼs produced interesting results for us here in terms of what
women find more attractive, regardless of the fact that the
framework is designed to understand a problem that doesnʼt really
seem to exist.
Back to that research.

So, whatʼs the link between “hostile sexism” and “benevolent

sexism”... and why do women prefer the one above all else, and
despise the other more than any thing else?

Well, the answers to both questions are simpler than you might
think.

The Missing Link

The link between hostile and benevolent sexism is the fact that you
must perceive a difference between the two sexes to hold either a
hostile or a benevolent view of the opposite sex.

You must say, “Women are different from myself and other men,”
before you can say, “... and that makes women AMAZING!” or before
you can say, “... which is why women are such TERRIBLE EVIL
CREATURES!”

In this way, the benevolent and hostile sexists are alike, when
compared to nonsexists in any event. The nonsexist looks at men,
then looks at women, and comes back saying, “They look pretty
much the same to me! Yep, all people – and all the same wants,
needs, desires, preferences, and emotions. Pretty much all the
same.”
The first part – that “seeing a difference” – is the part that sexism
researchers donʼt like. They view seeing differences as “bad” and
something that leads to repression. We should all hold hands and
sing Kum Ba Yah... but of course, humans are relentless
stereotypers and categorizers by nature, and when you fight against
nature, well, you know who wins in the end.

Anyway, what causes the difference in attitudes between the sexists

(of either variety) and the nonsexists? My suspicion is sex drive.

I canʼt say Iʼve met a lot of nonsexist men – Iʼm not really sure where
they hang out, or how they spend their time – but I get the
impression from the handful Iʼve met that the majority of them donʼt
have very high sex drives.

Of course, thereʼs always the outlier – the hypersexual guy,

frequently bisexual, who enjoys having sex with everything that
moves. This guy also tends to be nonsexist, mostly because
EVERYTHING is a sexual option for him... and he doesnʼt get too
caught up on the details of the various different roles one sex or
another ought to be performing.

Most straight men with normal to high sex drives seem to end up
hostile or benevolent sexists more or less automatically though –
probably because they focus so much of their attention on women,
getting women, or not getting women, that they inevitably must pay
attention to the differences, and then either come to feel quite
warmly toward women (if theyʼve had good experiences), or quite
bitterly (if theyʼve had bad ones).

Why the Difference in Tastes?

So whyʼs a benevolent sexist so damn SEXY to women (not to

mention likeable), while also the rarest of the bunch...
... while a hostile sexist is so very UNsexy to women, unlikeable, and
so eminently commonplace?

It comes back to my friend Jesseʼs hierarchy of people we

discussed in “Whatʼs Wrong with Dating in America (and Much
of the West)”: that a select few men, whoʼve either been very lucky
or have worked relentlessly hard, sit at the top of the pyramid,
lusted after and pursued by pretty girls, with a much broader stack
of pretty girls beneath them all competing for the comparatively rare
outlier men...

... and meanwhile, an even GREATER number of Average Joes sits

beneath the pretty girl tier, all of those Joes longing for and
competing for pretty girls, but usually not getting them.

Needless to say, the minority of men at the top of the mating

pyramid will tend to have pretty warm views of women, while
the majority of men at the bottom of the mating pyramid will
usually have pretty chilly views of them.
And thatʼs entirely reliant on those menʼs past experiences; the guys
whoʼve gotten laid a lot, been chased after, and been pined for by
hordes of pretty girls will usually feel quite good about pretty girls,
and the guys whoʼve been rejected over and over, ignored, and
insulted by pretty girls will tend to feel pretty bitter toward women.

Thatʼs not ALL of them. Occasionally youʼll find a guy who maybe
does great with women now, but didnʼt used to, and he still carries
around old wounds and looks down on women; or, youʼll find a guy
whoʼs never had much success with women, but maybe he had a
really great relationship with his mother or other female relatives or
friends, and so despite his lack of success he still thinks warmly of
women.

Either way, the guys who like women end up as benevolent

sexists, looking out for women, caring about them, and wanting
to see them happy, while the guys whoʼre bitter toward women
just want to show them up or get even with them.
And women can sense those dispositions miles away.

And when they pick up on them, it tells them something crucial:

This man – the man who loves women – has clearly had good
experiences with women. That means women like him, find him
attractive, date him, sleep with him, and choose him. Therefore,
heʼs preselected; therefore, heʼs a good, solid bet as both a
short-term and a long-term mate.

While on the other hand, THAT man – the man bitter toward
women – has clearly had bad experiences with women. This
means women dislike him, find him unattractive, donʼt date him,
donʼt sleep with him, and donʼt choose him. Therefore, heʼs
anti-preselected; therefore, heʼs a bad, crummy bet as either a
short- or a long-term mate.

Being a benevolent sexist, in other words, is a way of telling women,

“I am among the top of the top when it comes to mating success
with women,” while being a hostile sexist is a way of saying, “Iʼm in
that big pile at the bottom of men whom women just donʼt want.”

The Darn Sexy Sexist

A manʼs emotion toward women is his way of showing his true

colors – the successful man loves them, while the failure of a man
resents them, and women, longing for successful men as they do,
run towards the men advertising their success, and away from the
ones advertising their failure.

Nothing you didnʼt already know if youʼve been following this site for
a while, but this is some fun extra research and a slightly different
take on the “lover of women” vs. “bitter man” vs. “boring nice guy”
discussion... flavored with a little bit of sexism.
The big takeaway here is, donʼt take it too hard if somebody calls
you “sexist”... she might just be telling you youʼre in the top
echelon of most attractive men to women.

Not so bad a place to be in the end, eh?

Chase

About the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of

being alone. So, he set to work and read
every book he could find, studied every
teacher he could meet, and talked to
every girl he could talk to to figure out
dating. After four years, scads of lays, and
many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he
launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about
girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

GET CHASEʼS MASTERY PACKAGE

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Get her onto dates and into bed with the same tips scientists use to
get girlfriends.
Girls Falling All Over You
Over the next 7 days, I give you a CRASH COURSE in the science of
attraction (60+ scientific studies), guaranteed to put new girls on
your arm.

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