Being Present in a Seduction: the

Dream of the Road

By Cody Lyans

It is late at night, your hands wrap around the wheel, the car eases
out onto an endless stretch of highway. The road hums beneath
you. Your breath is slow... In... And out... Your eyes are clear and
steady as things come and go. You tune out the need to "get where
you are going" and you just drive.

Life in that moment is just a sequence of breaths and subtle

adjustments, and you never feel out of place or "off the mark". Your
mind extends out into the horizon, and you lie in wait, perfectly
ready.

Sometimes when we talk about women we get too focused on what

is supposed to be happening that we forget how good it feels to not
have to do a thing and just remain on target.

One of my most enjoyed rituals whenever I go out is to really soak in

the feelings, to just let the need to do things drift away. I let myself
go to a simpler place, I let my mind become unfettered by the
worries and concerns of anyone or anything else, I let my eyes
become clear. And my body tells the rest of the world around me
the story of a man who feels that dream of the road.

My heart beats slow, I notice how the air feels as I come through the
doors, and all around me in my peripheral vision I feel people
adjusting. When someone addresses me I respond with ease as if by
second nature. And when the right person is nearby, I gear down,
ease my foot onto the breaks, and idle. The gentle drift tells me I'm
ready to adapt, to go anywhere, and I let myself just admire her for a
moment before I calmly begin to speak.

Not a lot of guys going out and talking to women know how to feel
this way, and it is a shame, because it is my favorite part of the
night. Well... maybe not my absolute favorite, because greasy food
just at the right moment you need it rates pretty high on my list.

Not a lot of people will tell you, but seducing women isn't an exact
science, a lot of times you NEED time to process through what you
are feeling, and you need time to "feel out" the world around you. All
the hustle and bustle, the "now, now, now" attitudes can push you
into an anxious state where everything and everyone is out to get
you, but if you know how to just let it ride, time becomes your
greatest ally and all the complexities you feel at other times in life
can just drift away.

I have been thinking recently about the differences in technique and

attitude, trying to isolate that sweet spot where technique and
attitude are completely connected. The best metaphor for the
connection I can make is that feeling of being on the open road at
night.

Most guys out there want as much technique as they can get, like
"gimme gimme gimme!", and after thinking about it I think this is
because they are stuck in the mentality of the inner city commuter,
honking horns and stopping at red lights, hurrying to get things
done, when real seductive work is just like being on an endless road.
There are no lights, no honking horns, no weird little turns where
you have to crank the wheel.

So to start you guys off on some technical talk slowly, so you aren't
getting pulled in every direction as you read, I want to give you
some ways to apply that attitude of being out on the road to talking
with girls.

The Goofy/Moody Guy

This guy wanders up to a woman, bursts out smiling, talks to her like
her BFF, and thirty minutes later starts biting his lip anxiously, his
eyes wide open, half pleading to the woman for some kind of sign or
way he can swoop in and kiss her. She politely tells him her friends
need her and that it was nice meeting him, and as she walks away
his sigh is so large that he falls forwards a step to end up standing
where she was.

We've all been in that position, grasping at straws. But what we

often fail to notice is that when we build ourselves up, there is
always the reverse swing just waiting to come down. Girls are smart
enough to know to get out of there before you suddenly switch from
being upbeat into the moody and pushy other half.

In order to avoid this fate, let us use the "dream of the road" attitude
to fix it up a bit.
Before your eyes start bulging and you start sweating bullets, just
take a breath, relax, and have a little smile. Just doing that will stop
that violent mood swing from pushing in and causing the girl to flee.

Not too tough right?

Of course not. It's super easy.

So let us take it a step further, let us say that all signs are pointing to
something good happening, you've taken a breath and smiled and
staved off a big crash, and then you slip into neutral. You can no
longer accelerate, you are just coasting along nicely, and the engine
is idling. You let your eyes become crisp, your breathing slows
down... In... And out... You tune out the need to "get where you are
going" and you just drive.

She asks you another question and you answer it as if by second

nature. She smiles and you smile back as if it's the most natural
thing in the world. And for that moment, life is just a sequence of
breaths and subtle adjustments, until you narrow your focus just
onto the bottom of her lip, sense her slowed breathing, and can
almost feel her heart beating.

You rub your lips, clear your thoughts, and just remain steady as
things come and go. She flashes her eyes at you, flicks her hair,
grabs onto your arm and squeezes, and it all just drifts by as you
look right through her and admire.

That's it, that's the sweet spot. Your mind extends out into the
horizon, and you lie in wait. Perfectly ready.

And you continue the conversation, free of all anxiety and all need,
and she responds in kind by becoming more fascinated by you.
Why does that kind of attitude
work in this scenario?

It is because it takes you out

of a goofy and moody
headspace into a gentle and
receptive headspace that isn't
leechy or leering at her. Most
guys when they attempt to be
sensual lean in at the girl and get
all flowery, but here you are just
masculine, present, occupying
your own space, and allowing
her to pepper you with affection.

It is exactly what you want her to

feel like, because the next time you completely focus on her, the
hair on her body is going to stand up, and it will create the moment
you can suck her into your world and wrap her up in a kiss.

"He who lacks the strength to pursue his passions, will lack the
ability to ravage your soul."

This quote is talking about the EXACT same thing as I am. Every guy
is a goofy/moody guy just out for a bit of a chat and polite little
interactions except the guy that knows how to relax, and to keep
that feeling alive; that "dream of the road".

In order to be the kind of guy who isn't leaning on techniques, who

isn't waiting for the girl to come and save him, who isn't letting the
next moment of the interaction spell total victory or disaster, you
need to let yourself ride.

There're all kinds of ways to help encourage yourself to do this, I

personally used to have a ritual as I got dressed for a night out.
Slipping on my shirt, buckling my belt, putting on my jacket, slipping
my keys into my pocket, and letting my feet take me where I needed
to go.

I would arrive at the bar, just enjoying the atmosphere for a while
before anyone even spoke a word to me. I would go get a drink and
savor it, letting myself relax as I felt its effects.

I would always take a big breath in before getting up, carry a smile,
smirk gently at girls in precarious situations, and pass on by. I would
talk to different people, have a decently good night, and go out and
get some food. Perfect.

The way each action happened and flowed into the next made my
night flow on by. Some nights I would choose to enjoy that over
chasing after company, other nights a girl would get wrapped up in
it all, and not easily let go.

Closing It Out
So then what? What next?

Well, often the real difficulty isn't what to do, it's actually letting
yourself do what you know comes next. You don't leap out at the
girl. No. You just invite her to continue the night as it has been
going, and let everything happen naturally; as if by second nature.

When you get her a cup of something, or a drink, you mean it. You
let her sit down with a glass of something, and you let the pleasure
of her company get richer and richer.

Or...

You just say "fuck it", off comes the jacket and the shoes, and you
soak it all up.

The point is, if you let life be a rush to get things done, you can't
truly take pleasure in the act. While if you keep the dream of the
road alive, and you let things ride, everything is better. The sex
becomes phenomenal, the food after or before is the best you've
ever had, your entire night was completely satisfying in and of itself,
and to top it all off, you end up where you wanted to be earlier on.

Things in life are supposed to happen in a certain way if you are to

enjoy them, but do not let yourself be fooled that it is in getting
things fast and easy that you have the most fun, because the most
fun is when it's just you and the road and you know nothing is going
to spoil it once you arrive.

Cody Lyans

About the Author: Cody Lyans

 About the Author: Cody Lyans

Girls Chaseʼs resident “man of mystery”,

Cody shows shy, quiet guys how to turn
these traits into assets. Girls call his style
“cool and calibrated”; heʼs adept at
smoothly meeting girls everywhere from
the beach to the dance floor. Cody prides
himself on versatility, and specializes in both fast (~20 minute)
hookups, and slow, sensual seductions. Book a phone coaching
session with Cody today to learn from him directly.

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