11 Tips for a Magnetic Presence

Attractive to Girls
By Alek Rolstad

You can be attractive to girls before you even open your mouth. You
do this with presence: the hypnotic, mesmerizing masculine quality.

Hey guys. Today I will discuss a vital topic, rarely discussed –

namely, presence.

Most guys are so focused on what to do in an interaction with

women they forget the stuff before the interaction. This
forgetfulness is understandable... After all, it is hard to focus on too
many things when you are new. The conversation itself seems so
immediate it can be hard to focus on anything else. And yet, the
phase that precedes the interaction can play a tremendous role.
I will not discuss screening in this post, even though the screening
phase is part of this crucial pre-interaction stage. If you are
interested in screen and approach-invitation triggering, do not
worry, there are more than enough posts covering the subject:

Book Excerpts: What to Screen Women For (screening)

What Should Your Standards Be When Picking Up Women?
(screening)
Tactics Tuesdays: Screening Girls for Same Day Lays
(screening)
Which Women Want Sex? Here's How to Tell (screening)
How Screening Game (Sniper Game) Compares to
Traditional Game (screening)
What's the Best Way to Pick Up Girls? Get the Ones Looking
for You (screening)
7 Approach Invitations Youʼll Get from Girls (approach
invitations)
Tactics Tuesdays: Attention Grabs (to Elicit Approach
Invitations) (approach invitations)

What we will focus on here is how one can be attractive from a

distance – without even opening your mouth – before even
approaching a girl. And even though we kind of touched upon that
in my previous article, letʼs dig a bit further into actual tips and tricks
you can apply today. However, my previous post does serve as a
great foundation for this one (so if you have not read it, check it out:
“Warm Up with Physical Momentum and Get Laid Easier”).

Let us start with a fundamental topic before we get into the juicy
stuff.

Congruence: The Foundation of Presence

It doesnʼt matter how cool and attractive you may try to behave if
you donʼt score at least decently on your fundamentals. It just
comes across as incongruent, weird, and try-hard. You will cause
cognitive dissonance in women: “Why is this guy, who obviously
does not dress like a cool, sexy guy – a guy who usually gets laid –
acting like he is the biggest sex god ever?”

And one thing I have noticed is that when a girl cannot make sense
of you based on things like congruency, they tend to walk away.
Now, this is not to be confused with things like coming off as
mysterious; in those cases, not being able to make too much sense
of you is a good thing.

However, if you start off as mysterious, then suddenly turn straight

into a pretty predictable guy, problems of congruence occur, and
she will run away. Also, it is attractive to put her in a position where
she cannot make sense of your true intentions or level of interest in
her (think of chasing frames). Nevertheless, if you fail to keep your
style consistent and congruent, it will have the opposite effect.

The bottom line is this: be congruent and consistent, else you

risk having all of your conversation and techniques lose their
power (at best) or even backfire on you (and become turn-offs).

Some examples of things you have to look out for in terms of

compliance:

Clothing: such a simple way to signal who you are without

opening your mouth. It is a good way of displaying attractive
qualities such as social awareness. Clothes can also make you
physically look better. But the key aspect is to dress in a way
that communicates that you are a man who gets laid. There
are many styles that work, but the point I am trying to make is
to dress in a way that is congruent with a sexy vibe. Also,
 grooming is key, as in your hairstyle, facial hair, etc.

Consistency of vibe: how often have you heard from

women that “from distance, he was so sexy”… followed up with
“but once he opened his mouth, he was such a turn-off” – in
other words, it is important to focus on having a sexy vibe
during the pre-interaction phase, but it is just as critical to
maintain it.

Congruence and consistency with your body

language: your body language should more or less remain
the same throughout the whole interaction.

What Not to Do

Let us now discuss the major BIG NOs that men do in clubs when
they are not interacting with women. Remember that we will focus
here primarily on bars and clubs, but many of these rules can apply
to coffee shops or other social events.

Wall flowering: just standing near the wall or standing still,

facing the dance floor, hoping for something magical to happen
is just not sexy – it is in fact the main characteristic of a
“useless” dude in a club. The mere mix of confusion in body
language, and the “I do not know what to do” vibe is deadly. In
addition to that, it is kind of hard to grab womenʼs attention this
way. You want to interact, but you display that you donʼt really
have the balls to. That is just not sexy.

Holding your drink up next to your chest: also a

characteristic of a guy who doesnʼt get laid – and I am sure that
women (just like with wallflowers) do not associate those guys
with ladiesʼ men. Women oftentimes get attracted to men they
simply associate with ladiesʼ men. In addition to that, holding
 you drink this way communicates a closed-off body language.
Instead, hold your drink loosely next to your hips/legs – much
better.

Note the forced smile and tight-knuckled grip.

Having any form of closed-off body language: will

not only show signs of discomfort, but also communicate to
women that you do not seek to interact. Examples of closed-off
body language:

Closed or crossed arms

Tensed up shoulders – sign of low confidence

Neck down (facing your chest) – also a sign of low

confidence

Legs crossed
 Inability to give eye contact and hold it

Fast movements – fine if you are in hurry, but not otherwise

Generally stiff movements or lack of fluidity

Seeming drunk: if you drink, do not seem too drunk. It can

be a turn off. Hooking up with a drunk dude is usually not seen
as socially acceptable. Women also associate drunk dudes with
a lot of negative things in general.

Let us now discuss a few sexy things you can do so that women can
feel from distance that YOU… that guy over there... are a sexy,
charming ladiesʼ man.

How to be Sexy from a Distance

There are many positive effects to be realized from gaining this skill
– from getting approach invitations to even having women
approach you. But the most important aspect is naturally
avoiding the sphere of being perceived as a “useless man” who
canʼt talk to girls.

We all experience situations and times when we donʼt talk to

women; even pros will have times in clubs when they do not talk to
women. The idea is to not look bad in those scenarios.

Being Relaxed

One of the most important things is to be relaxed and have relaxed

body language. You have probably noticed that most men who are
good with women tend to be pretty relaxed and comfortable with
themselves and their environment. It displays confidence and even
dominance – “The environment doesnʼt scare me. I own it.”
Now, being relaxed and comfortable is easier said than done. You
cannot magically get there. I have in previous posts advised guys to
live a healthier lifestyle (eat better, sleep better, and even work
out) and begin meditating (which has a tremendous effect on your
mood) as a good starting point to become relaxed and comfortable
and pull off a confident vibe.

I have also recommended looking into something called “Trauma

Releasing Exercises” (TRE) that not only help you feel better, but
also have general good effects on your body. Also, a lot of the
points listed in my previous post apply here.

But let us now consider that you are in a bar or club and you feel
that your body language and overall vibe is off. You are not relaxed,
but rather tense. You feel stressed and maybe even anxious. There
are no perfect solutions for that, but following these tips may really
help you out.

Breathe in all you can and keep the air in your lungs for 5
seconds... then breath slowly out. Very good and simple trick to
make one feel relaxed. Feel free to repeat this as often as you
like.

A better version of this is doing the exact same breathing

exercise as above, but as you breath in, start by focusing your
attention (or awareness) on your mouth, and as the air fills your
lungs, drag your attention ALL THE WAY from your mouth... to
your feet... passing by your chest, belly, hips, crotch, legs… and
as you breath out, your attention follows the same path, but in
reverse.

If you feel tension, stress, anxiety, or anything else that makes

you feel uncomfortable, then try this out: close your eyes,
breath in and out slowly, and focus on the borders between
 where the uncomfortable feeling begins and where it ends.
Consider that you have a bad feeling in your gut – one of
anxiety. Focus on where it starts and where it begins, and circle
around that border. Do not try to give it a story, as that will just
reinforce it. But just feel it, be aware of it, and eventually it will
pass. (credit to Ross Jeffries)

Another cool way to get in a better mood is by finding a point of

focus, then focus on it (can be a picture or an object, or even a
self-made point on a plain wall). Focus on it while breathing in
an out, and smile – keep the smile up. (credit goes to Gunwitch)

Something I do a lot when I am out these days and feeling

tense in my body is to simply massage the areas where I feel
tension – just a short, quick massage. Usually the upper back,
neck, or shoulders. Doesnʼt really fix the problem per se, but
surely has a positive impact.

One more effective thing you can do is some simple stretching.

If you are in a club, you are pretty limited – definitely avoid
doing “bigger” or “prolonged” stretches in public (go to the
bathroom or something). Some simple stretching might be
hand stretching, neck stretching, different types of arm
stretching, and maybe even some upper back stretching. Do
not do anything that is awkward in public. You are not at the
gym.

Sexy Moves that Attract Women

Let us now discuss some cool, attractive body language that can
help you attract women. Consider this your toolbox for when you are
standing by yourself and trying to look attractive. Feel free to also
use any of these techniques while interacting with a girl (not just for
outside).
Slow movement: moving slower not only looks really
fucking badass and cool, but it also breaks with the overall
“mood” of the venue, making you stand out in a very confident
manner. It also shows a lot of confidence and control. It just
looks so badass – and really catches womenʼs attention. Not
only when you walk should you move slower, but any move you
make should be slower. Now, I only do this when I see hot girls
around – as a way to attract them. If there are no girls around...
believe me, I will walk much faster to a place where there are
girls around.

Open body language: the opposite of what we listed in the

“do not” section. Keep your arms away from your chest, neck
slightly up, no crossed legs, and have a relaxed posture, but not
drooped.

Giving and keeping eye contact: slowly scan the room

and look at people; if they look back… HOLD the eye contact
until they look away... and once they do, just slowly fade yours
away. Also, when breaking eye-contact, never look down; it
communicates submissiveness – not attractive.
Open body language, good eye contact... But these guys should
probably switch targets.

Lean into stuff: pillars, walls, etc. Just makes you look cool.
Not to be confused with standing next to a wall – like a wall
flower. Here you literally lean in. Feel free to put one hand in the
air for extra rock star factor.

This is something that really works like a charm:

chin slightly up (not too much or itʼll look awkward), eyebrows
relaxed (slightly down), put your lips a bit out, like you are about
to kiss someone – but donʼt do a full-blown duck face – we all
know that looks dumb.

Try it out and let me know what you guys think. As the winter is
approaching here in beautiful Europe, I will concentrate more on
physical and non-verbal game, as smoking areas tend to die here
during the winter – which forces me to stay inside loud venues...
unless I go to smaller bars or lounges. But I happen to enjoy clubs.
So expect more non-verbal stuff in the near future.

Presence: A Recap

Today we discussed some basic body language tools – stuff that

can make you look attractive from a distance – and hopefully trigger
some approach invitations and maybe even get women to approach
you. Remember, everything related to body language can also be
used during an actual interaction.

We first discussed congruency – how your body language should be

congruent with your clothes and actual verbal presence. We also
discussed how consistency was important – keeping a cool
presence is key.

Next, we discussed some typical body language habits of “useless

dudes”:

Wall-flowering

Closed-off body language

Holding drinks next to the chest.

Seeming drunk

Then we discussed some techniques to positively affect your mood

(which in turn will affect your presence). We also discussed ways to
relax the body, resulting in better body language, also improving
your presence.

At the end, we shared a bunch of cool, sexy moves:

Moving slower

Having an open body language

 Holding eye contact

Leaning into stuff

And the sexy face move

I hope you enjoyed this post. If you have any questions or

comments, feel free to add them in the comments section.

Until next...

Alek Rolstad

READ NEXT: “How to Have a Powerful Masculine Presence”

About the Author: Alek Rolstad

Alek Rolstad launched his pickup career at

age 14, an early starter and seduction
savant. His unique style of game focuses
on “sex talk”: a way to make sex the
primary topic of conversation. Sex talk lets
the user excite girls rapidly, and filter for
girls open to fast, raunchy, kinky one-night stands and sex. You can
learn from Alek, the master and originator of sex talk himself, by
booking a 1-hour phone consultation with him.

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