How to Handle Difficult

People
Tip #1
People aren't Difficult…
they’re Different
Five Misconceptions in Communication

• People always listen to you when

you are speaking to them
• When people say they’re paying attention, they really
are
• When someone says “I understand”, he or she really
does
• Saying something over & over ensures that your
listener understands
• Saying something over & over loudly will be even
more effective than just saying it over & over
Tip #2
If what you’re doing is not
working…Find a new way to do it!
Why do difficult people resist new ideas and
opinions?

• Resistance to
change
• Resistance due
to bad mood
• Resistance due
to invasion of
territory
Why do difficult people resist new ideas and
opinions? (con.)

• Resistance due to irritation

• Resistance due to negativity
• Resistance due to fear
• Resistance due to perceived roles
Tip #3
Resistance does not mean NO
Six Keys to Conquering Resistance

• Acknowledge & validate the other

person’s concerns
• Anticipate and voice the other
person’s objectives
• Watch for “red flag” words
Six Keys (cont.)

• Exercise self control

• Focus on solutions not blame
• Be clear about what you want
Tip #4
Deal with the problem not
the symptoms
Minimizing difficult encounters

• Build trust
• Demand consistency
• Communicate
constantly
• Use praise liberally
• Encourage growth
Tip #5
Be descriptive not Judgmental
Steps to handling conflict

• Listen to the other’s issues

– Seek first to understand, then to be
understood
• Describe back to the individual their
point of view
• formulate and suggest possible
outcomes
Tip # 6
People who anger you…
Control you
Difficult people: Classic
Types
The Bull

• Characteristic -
Bossy, Intimidating
• Reason - To
intimidate and
control
• Goal - Focus on the
issues, avoid
emotions
The Fox

• Characteristics -
Long winded, does
not confront directly
• Reason - To get
attention
• Goal - Surface the
attack
The Stone wall

• Characteristics -
Silent, and
unresponsive
• Reason - To control
the situation
• Goal - Get a
response
Tip #7
Any behavior not confronted
will continue
The 5 commandments for changing attitudes

• Arguments never work

• Respect, value the differences in people
• Fault does not matter
• Start with areas of agreement
• Listen for understanding
Tip # 8
If you keep doing what you’ve
always done, you’ll keep getting
what you’ve always gotten