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Parenting With Style: Mara J. Briere Debbie Weinstock-Savoy
Parenting With Style: Mara J. Briere Debbie Weinstock-Savoy
Mara J. Briere
Debbie Weinstock-Savoy
02/01/22 1
What’s Your Style?
In this series, we invite you to pick up
some new tools for effectively relating
with your loved one.
You will learn a language to
communicate more effectively with
others.
Anyone familiar with the Myers-Briggs
Personality Indicator?
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A Unique Window on
Parenting Style
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is the World's
most widely used personality inventory for 40+
years
Used in career counseling, management,
education,marital counseling, etc.
Developed in 1940's by mother-daughter team,
Kathryn Briggs & Isabel Myers
Based on theories of psychologist Carl Jung
Identifies preferences in how we experience &
interact with the world (from birth, like right- and
left-handedness)
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Parenting Style
Family Situation
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Parenting Factors to Ponder
Parent Style: Unique and Develops over time
Our Upbringing
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Other factors to ponder:
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The Four Dimensions: Keys to the
Language
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What’s Your Style?
Where do you prefer to get your energy
& focus your attention?
I……………….…….*……….
…………….E
Introvert
Extravert
focus on inner world focus on outer world
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Energy Flow
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Extraverts prefer
Think out loud
Jump into new activities
Expressive, open, enthusiastic
Like variety:" the more the merrier“
Prefer breadth:
Life's generalists
Energized by interaction
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What’s Your Style?
Which perceiving process do you prefer?
S……………….…..….*……..……….………….N
Sensor Intuitive
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Perceiving Process of Gathering Information
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Sensors prefer
Realistic & practical
Notice details & remember facts
See what is & the present
Trust past experience: prefer the familiar
Like examples & models to follow
Want clear, step-by-step directions
Work at a steady pace
Accept things as they are
Prefer realistic toys & real-life activities
Enjoy games with established rules
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Intuitives prefer
Imaginative & creative
Notice anything new or different
See possibilities & the future
Trust creativity: prefer novelty
Like new ways of solving problems
Make assumptions based on hunches
Work with bursts of energy
Interested in how things could be
Prefer open-ended activities & toys
Enjoy make-believe play
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What’s Your Style?
Which judgment process do you
prefer?
T……………….…….*…………….……….F
Thinker
Feeler
Objective Subjective
Logical People-centered
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Judgment Process of Decision Making
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Feelers prefer
Most convinced by that which is seen as best for people
Sensitive & empathic
Want harmony & affection
Speak warmly, tactfully, diplomatically
Praise cooperation & personal contributions
Place high value on relationships
Consider extenuating circumstances, exceptions to the
rule
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What’s Your Style?
How do you prefer to approach the world
around you?
J………………..*………….……….P
Judgers Perceivers
Planning Spontaneous
Control
Responsive
Structure Adaptable
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Orientation to Outer World
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Perceiver preference
Prefer to "go with the flow“
Make decisions quickly, easily
Value new info: postpone decisions
Find rules & plans limiting
Like to adapt & respond to changes
Curious: ask lots of questions
Trying new projects is important
Playful & impulsive
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What is the difference between,
“type,” and “temperament?”
Type refers to mental patterns, or cognitive
processes as determined through the
Myers Briggs Type Indicator®, a valid and
reliable instrument developed by Isabel
Briggs Myers and Katherine Myers to take
Carl Jung’s theory of type and give it
practical application.
Temperament refers to behavioral
patterns.
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How does temperament influence
our families?”
Understanding the different temperaments
enables us to identify and meet the
needs of our families more effectively.
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Artisans, Improvisers SP
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Artisans, Improvisers, SP, prefer
Fun-loving
physical movement and activity
Hands-on and direct experiences
Test limits
VERY impulsive
VERY literal
Rules are guidelines, not absolutes
Easily bored
Strong need for control over Self
Child: Experimental; daring; playful; “what you see is what you get!”
Parent Gifts: “One day at a time” style of parenting; encourage child’s experiments;
Play first, work later!
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Guardians, Stabilizers, SJ
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Guardians, Stabilizers, SJ prefer…
Conscientious, responsible
Thrive on routine; routines provide security
Need approval
Cautious and wary of change
Follow rules
Clearly defined roles
“Good little boys and girls”
Parent Gifts: Create stability through real world follow through; attends
to details; Practical; Expect respect and obedience from children
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Idealists, Catalysts, NF
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Idealists, Catalysts, NF prefer
Imaginative
BIG Picture thinkers
Original
Emotionally supportive
Daily details exhaust
Empathic
Playful
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Rationalists, Theorists, NT
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Rationalists, Theorists, NT, prefer…
Self-contained
Autonomous
Prize cognitive development
Trust in reason, deliberation
Efficient
Sees the BIG picture
NEED to know the “why” and the “how”.
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Artisans, Improvisers, SP
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Strengths
Energy level
Joie-de-vivre
Zest of life, excitement, drive
Happy-go-lucky
Expressive
Physical grace, athletic
Always seem to know “where” they are
Explorers
Physically affectionate
Capacity to improvise
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Challenges
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Hands-On Strategies
Child-proofing
Learning from child
Avoid words; understand that these kids learn through touch
CHOICES! Share control!
More activity, less language; clear and short instructions
Humor
Say “no” by saying “yes” to something else
Rhyming and songs
Physical gestures,
Physical activities
Unstructured time
Make tasks into games
Advocating with schools; Vocational/alternative programs
Enlisting other people
Encourage messy projects
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Guardians, Stabilizers, SJ
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Strengths
Team player
Task oriented
Follow directions
Thrive in structure
Real helper
Remember details
Do well in school (in early years)
Organized
Dependable, predictable
Manage time well
Conscientious
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Challenges
Do not deal well with unstructured time
Very literal
Not as creative; follows models
Conformists
Too helpful – could get into trouble
What if there aren’t rules?
Sense of humor?
Change
Adaptability
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Hands-On Strategies
Role playing & practice
Give leadership opportunities
Concrete recognition ex. Stickers
Advance preparations & “warnings” help
Ask for their help
Break things down
A step at a time
Describe situations in concrete terms
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Idealists, Catalysts, NF
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Strengths
Imaginative
Creative
Visual
Connected
Concerned
Thoughtful
Good at entertaining themselves
Empathetic
Think outside the box
Capacity to brainstorm
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Challenges
Standardized tests
Back to the real world
Practice
Needs to be motivated - - how?
Implementation
How things/people could be
Dramatic, intense
VERY sensitive
Tend to AVOID confrontation
Frustration
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Hands-On Strategies
Open-ended projects
Sit with them until they are comfortable
Like company
Pull back
Stop-start
“Pretend”
Make a story
Consequences for actions and their impact
upon others
Relationship language
Choices
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Rationalists, Theorists, NT
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Strengths
Independent
Not impulsive
Prone to dismiss “peer pressure”
Innovative
Observant
Makes connections
Leaders
Diverse interests
Language ability
Explorers
Curious
Persistent
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Challenges
Group activities
Independence
No sense of personal limits
Won’t ask for help
Easily frustrated
Keeping them occupied with age appropriate activities
Stubborn
Impatient with people who are not as quick-minded
Accidentally hurt other people’s feelings
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Hands-On Strategies
Open-ended toys
Lots of adult/older child interaction
Reasonable explanations
Giving leeway, choices, independent opportunities
Padded schedule/flex time
Picking your fights
Engage problem-solving skills
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Note your observations!
02/01/22 50
Note your observations!
Advocate.
Enjoy!
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Resources
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