Our whole being is composed of IQ, EQ and
Personality.
History of Emotional Intelligence
 1930- Edward Thorndike: Components of EI Low Scores
Social Intelligence
 1940- David Wechsier: Components of
Intelligence
 1950- Abraham Maslow: Emotional Strength
 1975- Howard Gardner: Concept of “Multiple
Intelligence”
 1985- Wayne Payne: Term “Emotional 5 Components of EI:
Intelligence”
 1987- Keith Beasly: “Emotional Quotient” 1.
 1990- Peter Salovey & John Mayer: Emotional
Intelligence Article
 1995- Daniel Goleman: Emotional Intelligence:
Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
 We usually make decisions based on emotions. High scores:
The Amygdala in our brain is made to help us
survive in a millisecond when danger is
present. It is sudden and doesn’t involve much
thought.
 “Do this or you will be eaten/die/”
A person with high emotional intelligence is: Strategies to develop:
1. Aware of him/herself
2. Manages him/herself
3. Aware of others
4. Manages his/her relationships with others
We are not born with high EI.
2.
Benefits of EI in the workplace:
 Builds trust
 Creates effective teams
 Helps with conflict resolution and crucial
conversations
 Higher job satisfaction/quality of life
 High performing employees
 Liberates your most authentic, creative and
powerful self
Working with learners require empathy.
High scores:
EI High Scores
 Score of 14-20
 This comes naturally to you
 Even in high-stress situations, you exhibit
these skills/traits
 Score of 7-13: probably needs developing
 0-6: a perceived weakness
 Research shows you can develop to grow
these abilities
 Use strategies to enhance/build these skills
Self-Awareness
 Ability to recognize what you are feeling
 Understanding your habitual emotional
responses to events
 Recognizing how your emotions affect your
behavior and performance
 You see yourself as others see you
 Have a good sense of your abilities (realistic
self-assessment)
 Know your limitations
 Self-confident
 Work on identifying your emotions
 Ask others how you are affecting them: Seek
and accept feedback
 Work on admitting what you need to change
 Anticipate button pushers
Self-Management
 Ability to stay focused and think clearly
when you have powerful emotions (thinks
before acting)
 Controls or redirects disruptive impulses and
moods
 Ability to suspend judgments
 Able to manage own emotional state
 Does not easily panic
  Takes responsibility for actions  Actively listen
 Do not make hasty decisions that you might  Put yourself in their shoes before judging
later regret  Practice people watching
 Open to change/adaptable  Be socially present
 Trustworthy
5. Relationship Management
Strategies to develop:
 Ability to manage, influence and inspire
 Control self-talk emotions in others
 Eliminate ANT’s (Automatic Negative  Ability to find common ground and build
Thoughts) rapport
 Work on not blaming others
 Find others to learn from (seek out mentors) High scores:

 Able to handle emotions in relationships

3. Motivation  Able to influence and inspire others
 Fosters teamwork and collaboration
 Ability to use your deepest emotions to
move and guide you towards your goals Strategies to develop:
 Has a passion to work for reasons other than
 Avoid giving mixed signals
money or status
 Work to build trust with others by keeping
High scores: your word, being dependable and reliable
 Be honest and communicate boundaries
 Able to take initiative  Set realistic expectations for yourself and
 Perseveres in the face of obstacles and others
setbacks  Acknowledge other people’s feelings
 Goal-oriented
 Optimism
 Loyal

Strategies to develop:

 Practice being positive (attitude)

 Set SMART (Specific, Measurable,
Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound)
goals for yourself
 Identify opportunities to take initiative

4. Empathy

 Ability to sense, understand and respond to

what other people are feeling
 Requires level of self-awareness
- Awareness of your emotions allow you to read
emotions of others

High scores:

 Sensitive to others
 Service oriented

Strategies to develop:

 Watch your body language


Process vs. Expediency
Thorough, comprehensive, need
Fast, gut, quick
to make one right decision
Process Expediency
Behavior Styles:
1. Analyzers
 Tendency toward perfectionism
 Decisions and information provided are
usually accurate and thoughtful
 Deal with facts, data, logic, details
 Sometimes slow to make decisions
 May appear overly cautious and not good risk-
takers
 Feelings and emotions kept inside
3.
Contributions -Perceived as thorough, analytical and
accurate, above all else
-Focus on getting things right (emphasis
on “task” rather than “people”)
Limitations -Can overanalyze things that don’t
warrant the attention (analysis-paralysis)
-Concern for getting it right can slow or
freeze the team’s progress
-Can be perceived as aloof and have an
excessive concern with perfection that
can stifle creativity in the group
Fear -Unwarranted personal criticism
2. Stabilizers
 “Warm and fuzzies”
 People and friendships are very important
 Good at juggling multiple tasks
 Concerned about feelings of others
 Dependable
 Agreeable; less inclined to speak their mind
openly
 Can get hurt or be offended easily
Contributions -Often viewed by team members as a
good team player
-Empathetic and sensitive to the needs of
others
-Likes harmony in team
Limitations -Can be indecisive, unwilling to confront
directly, and resist change
-Because of their need to maintain team
harmony, their own needs may be
suppressed. Over time, this can cause
resentment and a degree of passive-
aggressiveness
-Not inclined to celebrate their
accomplishments, yet they can become
frustrated and perhaps resentful if their
contributions go unnoticed too long
Fear -Confusion, chaos and change
Controllers
 Strong, decisive and results-oriented
 Provide strong guidance for others
 May appear pushy at times
 Demanding of both themselves and others
 Highly self-critical
 Efficient; resent those who “waste” time
with idle chit-chat
Contributions -Able to make decisions when no one
else wants to
-Is not afraid to confront tough issues
-Embraces change as a personal
challenge
 Limitations -Can be perceived as overly opinionated,
combative, arrogant, impatient, and like
change for change’s sake
-May overextend him/herself due to
competing priorities and become
inefficient
Fear -Losing control

4. Persuaders

 Like to get others involved in activities

 Highly creative and enthusiastic
 Operate primarily by intuition
 Party people; like to have a good time
 Little tolerance for those who are not
expressive
Style Flex
 Easily bored or distracted
 Difficult to keep on task Flexibility:

The ability to meet another person’s style needs

and satisfy personal style needs as well.

Being flexible means to:

Situationally, purposefully and temporarily

modify behavior on one or both dimensions.

Why increase flexibility?

Contributions -Has great enthusiasm for working with  You want to understand how others see you.
others  You value being more effective with others.
-Inspires and motivates others
 You are willing to obtain a more realistic picture of
-Always available to others
-Gives positive feedback easily to others your impact.
Limitations -Can be perceived as disorganized and  You pay attention – aware and pick up clues.
superficial in their approach to tasks and  You allow adequate time to learn how to adjust.
people
-Can overdo emotional expression Variables impacting TENSION-REACTION
Fear -Being blamed or disliked
CORE SITUATIONAL
Constructive Feedback  Family of  What is happening?
Origin  Who is the person
You are an expert on  Cultural involved
- Other people’s behavior Norms  Who else is present or
 Personal Belief involved?
- Your feelings
System  Where is this
You are NOT an expert on  World View happening?
 What is my current
- Your behavior
energy level?
- Other people’s feelings

Philosophy of a Good Communicator

Assume 100% of the responsibility for understanding what

the other person means.

Assume 100% of the responsibility for making sure that the

person you are communicating with understands you.