Guffey - Ch05 - Organizing and Drafting Business Messages

Chapter 5
Organizing and Drafting

Business Messages
Guffey/Loewy, Business Communication: Process & Product, 10th Edition. © 2022 Cengage. All Rights Reserved. May
not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Learning Outcomes
By the end of this chapter, you should be able to:
5-1 Compare two forms of research that begin Phase 2 of the 3-x-3 writing process.
5-2 List techniques that help writers generate and sort ideas to solve problems.
5-3 Demonstrate methods for organizing ideas to show relationships.
5-4 Write effective sentences that avoid fragments, run-ons, and comma splices.
5-5 Demonstrate methods for emphasizing ideas, using active and passive voice, developing
parallelism, and placing modifiers correctly.
5-6 Explain how to create well-organized, coherent paragraphs.
Guffey/Loewy, Business Communication: Process & Product, 10th Edition. © 2022 Cengage. All Rights Reserved.
May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
5-1
Organizing and Drafting Messages
Begins With Research
5-1 Organizing and Drafting Messages Begins
With Research (1 of 2)
• Research – collecting information about a certain topic
• Information collected through research helps shape the sender’s message
• Careful writers collect information that answers several questions:
− What does the receiver need to know about this topic?
− What is the receiver to do?
− How is the receiver to do it?
− When must the receiver do it?
− What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do it?
5-1 Organizing and Drafting Messages Begins
With Research (2 of 2)
Informal Research Formal Research
• Explore your company’s files. • Primary sources: firsthand experiences
such as surveys, interviews,
• Chat with the boss.
observation, and experimentation
• Interview the target audience. • Secondary sources: reading what
• Organize an informal survey. others have experienced or observed
and written about in books, magazines,
journals, and online resources
Case Study
How a Wedding Website Grew Into a $100 Million Event Planning Business
• Based on the idea that anyone can make a website with easy-to-use Web-
based software, Rob and cofounder Mark Goldenberg brainstormed their
wedding platform into a leading do-it-yourself event planning service.
• This case study activity will help you develop collaboration and speaking skills,
learn about the target company, and apply the chapter concepts.
Case Study Debrief
• In what ways would research (gathering information) have helped the founders
of MyEvent.com move beyond their original wedding platform and remain
relevant in the rapidly changing world of Internet commerce?
• What techniques can business communicators at MyEvent.com and other
companies use to generate ideas for new products as well as to improve
business processes?
• Have you experienced any crowdsourcing in your social or college activities?
Have you seen it in the news?
5-2
Generating Ideas to Solve Problems
5-2 Generating Ideas to Solve Problems
(1 of 1)
Brainstorming
• Brainstorming – the spontaneous contribution of ideas from members of a
group with an emphasis on quantity and not quality
• Brainwriting – write ideas on flip charts, paper, or post-it slips and then discuss,
organize, and rank the best ideas
Mind Mapping
• Mind mapping – a process for generating and sorting ideas emphasizing visual
concepts
Crowdsourcing
• Crowdsourcing – the practice of requesting ideas or services online from
unknown crowd members rather than from traditional employees or contractors
Group Activity
Brainstorming: Solving a Problem on Campus
• Read the instructions for Activity 5.14 found at the end of the chapter.
• Choose a problem on your campus to analyze.
• Use brainstorming techniques to generate ideas that clarify the problem and
explore its solutions.
• As a team, organize the ideas into an outline with three to five main points and
numerous subpoints.
• Remember your role as a student; be polite, positive, and constructive—not
negative, hostile, or aggressive.
Group Activity Debrief
• What campus problem did your group choose to analyze?

• What possible solutions did you identify during your brainstorming session?
5-3
Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships
5-3 Organizing Ideas to Show Relationships
(1 of 3)
Creating Lists and Outlines
• Messages may be composed from scratch lists if they are simple enough.
• Most writers organize ideas into a hierarchy first, such as an outline.
Typical Document Components

• How ideas are grouped into components depends on the topic and channel of
communication.
Figure 5.3 Typical Major Components in
Business Outlines
(2 of 3)
Structuring Ideas Into Strategies
• Direct strategy – the main idea comes first, followed by details, explanation, or
evidence
• Use the direct strategy when you expect the reader to be pleased, mildly
interested, or neutral.
• Indirect strategy – the main idea follows the details, explanation, and evidence
• Use the indirect strategy when you expect the audience to be uninterested,
unwilling, displeased, or hostile.
(3 of 3)
DIRECT STRATEGY FOR RECEPTIVE AUDIENCES
• Frontloading (getting to the main idea quickly) has three advantages:
1. Saves the reader’s time
2. Sets a proper frame of mind
3. Reduces frustration
INDIRECT STRATEGY FOR UNRECEPTIVE AUDIENCES
• Advantages of the indirect strategy
1. Respects the feelings of the audience
2. Facilitates a fair hearing
3. Minimizes a negative reaction
Figure 5.4 Audience Response Determines
Direct or Indirect Strategy
Knowledge Check 1
1. On your new job, you want to show sociability by friending everyone on Facebook. To avoid
favoritism, you should include managers and bosses.
_____ True _____ False
2. You’re talking with a coworker when you see an incoming text. To demonstrate your
efficiency, you should answer it immediately.
3. You’re late for a meeting. The best thing to do is text a message saying, “Sorry, I’m running
10 minutes late.”
5-4
Composing the First Draft
With Effective Sentences
5-4 Composing the First Draft
With Effective Sentences (1 of 6)
Adding Interest and Variety With Four Sentence Types
1. Simple Sentence – contains one complete thought (independent clause) with a
subject and predicate verb
− Our company lacked a social media presence.
2. Compound Sentence – contains two complete but related thoughts; may be

joined by a conjunction, semicolon, or conjunctive adverb
− Our company lacked a social media presence, and it hired a specialist.
− Our company lacked a social media presence; it hired a specialist.
− Our company lacked a social media presence; consequently, it hired a specialist.
3. Complex Sentence – contains an independent clause and a dependent clause
− Because our company lacked a social media presence, it hired a specialist.
4. Compound-Complex Sentence – contains at least two independent clauses

and one dependent clause
− Because our company lacked a social media presence, it hired a specialist; however, our
brand required time to build.
Avoiding Three Common Sentence Faults
1. Fragment – a broken-off part of a complex sentence
Fragment Revision
Because most transactions require a permanent Because most transactions require a permanent
record. Good writing skills are critical. record, good writing skills are critical.
2. Run-on (fused) sentence – a sentence with two independent clauses without
a conjunction or semicolon
Run-On Sentence Revision
Many job seekers prepare traditional résumés others Many job seekers prepare traditional résumés.
prefer career e-portfolios. Others prefer career e-portfolios.
Many job seekers prepare traditional résumés;
others prefer career e-portfolios.
3. Comma splice – two independent clauses joined (spliced together) with
a comma
Comma Splice Revision
Be sure to include keywords from the Be sure to include keywords from the job
job description, also include variations description, but also include variations of the
of the job title. job title.
Be sure to include keywords from the job
description; however, also include variations
of the job title.
Be sure to include keywords from the job
description; also include variations of
the
job title.
Preferring Short Sentences
• Construct sentences that average 20 words.
• Consider the relationship between sentence length and comprehension.
• Target a balance between longer and shorter sentences.
Sentence Length Comprehension Rate
8 words 100%
15 words 90%
19 words 80%
28 words 50%
Knowledge Check 2
For each of the following sentences, choose the number that identifies its type:
1. Simple sentence; 2. Compound sentence; 3. Complex sentence; 4. Compound-complex sentence
a) Americans pride themselves on their informality. _____
b) When Americans travel abroad on business, their informality may be viewed negatively. _____
c) Informality in Asia often equals disrespect; it is not seen as a virtue. ____
d) The order of first and last names in Asia may be reversed, and this causes confusion to
Americans and Europeans. ____
e) When you are addressing someone, ask which name a person would prefer to use; however, be
sure you can pronounce it correctly. ____
5-5
Mastering Four Skillful Writing Techniques
5-5 Mastering Four Skillful Writing
Techniques (1 of 8)
Creating Emphasis
• Without verbal and nonverbal clues, when writing you must rely on other ways
to inform readers about which ideas are more important than others.
• Emphasis in writing can be achieved mechanically and stylistically.
Techniques (2 of 8)
ACHIEVING EMPHASIS THROUGH MECHANICS
Underlining Underlining draws the eye to a word.
Italics and boldface Using italics or boldface conveys special meaning.
Font changes Selecting a large, small, or different font draws interest.

All caps Printing words in ALL CAPS is like shouting them.
Dashes Dashes—used sparingly—can be effective.
Tabulation Listing items vertically makes them stand out:
1. First item
2. Second item
3. Third item
Techniques (3 of 8)
ACHIEVING EMPHASIS THROUGH STYLE
• Use vivid, not general, words.
General Vivid
The way we seek jobs has changed. The Internet has dramatically changed how job
• Label the main idea. hunters search for positions.
• Label the main idea.

Unlabeled Labeled
Consider looking for a job online, but also focus Consider looking for a job online; but, most
on networking. importantly, focus on networking.
Techniques (4 of 8)
ACHIEVING EMPHASIS THROUGH STYLE CONT.
• Place the important idea first or last.
Main Idea Lost Main Idea Emphasized
Profit-sharing plans are more effective in Productivity is more likely to be increased when
increasing productivity when they are linked to profit-sharing plans are linked to individual
individual performance rather than to group performance rather than to group performance.
performance.
• Give the important idea the spotlight.
Main Idea Lost Main Idea Clear
Although you are the first trainee we have hired You are the first trainee we have hired for this
for this program, we had many candidates and program.
expect to expand the program in the future.
Techniques (5 of 8)
DE-EMPHASIZING WHEN NECESSARY
• Use general words.
Emphasizes Harsh Statement De-emphasizes Harsh Statement
Our records indicate that you were recently fired. Our records indicate that your employment status
has recently changed.
• Place the bad news in a dependent clause connected to an independent

clause that contains something positive.
Emphasizes Bad News De-emphasizes Bad News
We cannot issue you a credit at this time, but we Although credit cannot be issued at this time, you
have a special plan that will allow you to fill your can fill your immediate needs on a cash basis
immediate needs on a cash basis. with our special plan.
Techniques (6 of 8)
DE-EMPHASIZING WHEN NECESSARY CONT.
• Use the active voice – the subject Active Voice Passive Voice
(the actor) performs the action – Justin must submit a tax The tax return was
for clear expression. return. submitted by Justin.
Officials reviewed all tax All tax returns were
• Use the passive voice – the subject returns. reviewed by officials.
receives the action – to (a) emphasize We cannot make cash Cash refunds cannot be
an action rather than a person, refunds. made.
(b) de-emphasize negative news, or Our CPA made a big A big error was made in
error in the budget. the budget.
(c) conceal the doer of an action.
Techniques (7 of 8)
Creating Parallelism
• Parallelism – sentences written so their parts are balanced, or parallel.
Lacks Parallelism Illustrates Parallelism

Our primary goals are to increase productivity, Our primary goals are to increase productivity,
reduce costs, and the improvement of product reduce costs, and improve product quality.
quality. (Matches verbs.)
Techniques (8 of 8)
Dodging Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
• Dangling modifier – when the word or phrase the modifier describes is missing
from its sentence
• Misplaced modifier – when the word or phrase the modifier describes is not
close enough to be clear
Dangling or Misplaced Modifier Clear Modification
To meet the deadline, all paperwork must be sent by To meet the deadline, applicants must send all
May 1. paperwork by May 1.
As a newbie in our office, we invite you to our As a newbie in our office, you are invited to our
Friday after-hours get-together. Friday after-hours get-together.
Writing Improvement Activity
Active Voice
Business writing is more forceful when writers use active-voice verbs. Revise the sentences found
at the end of the chapter as Activity 5.4 so that verbs are in the active voice. Put the emphasis on
the doer of the action. Add subjects if necessary.
EXAMPLE: All job candidates are advised to write targeted résumés.
REVISION: Hiring managers advise all job candidates to write targeted résumés.
Passive Voice
When indirectness or tact is required, use passive-voice verbs. Revise the active-voice sentences
found at the end of the chapter as Activity 5.5 so that they are in the passive voice.
EXAMPLE: Travis did not submit the proposal before the deadline.
REVISION: The proposal was not submitted before the deadline.
5-6
Building Well-Organized Paragraphs
5-6 Building Well-Organized Paragraphs
(1 of 7)
• Paragraph – a group of sentences about one idea
• Topic sentence – expresses the primary idea of the paragraph; often, but not
always comes first in a paragraph
• Supporting sentence – illustrates, explains, or strengthens the primary idea
• Limiting sentence – opposes the primary idea by suggesting a negative or
contrasting thought; may preceded or follow the topic sentence
(2 of 7)
The Direct Paragraph Plan
• Direct paragraph plan – used to define, classify, illustrate, or describe
• Begins with topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences
• Clarifies the subject immediately
• Strengthens and amplifies main idea with supporting ideas
(3 of 7)
The Pivoting Paragraph Plan
• Pivoting paragraph plan – used to compare and contrast
• Starts with a limiting sentence that offers a contrasting or negative idea,
followed by the topic sentence
• Emphasizes turn in direction with an obvious but or however
(4 of 7)
The Indirect Paragraph Plan
• Indirect paragraph plan – used to explain and persuade
• Begins with supporting sentences and concludes with topic sentence
• Builds rationale or foundation before revealing big idea
• Explains reasons and then draws conclusion from them
• Works well for describing causes followed by an effect
(5 of 7)
Developing Paragraph Coherence
• Paragraphs are coherent when ideas cohere—that is, when the ideas stick
together and when one idea logically leads to the next.
SUSTAIN THE KEY IDEA
• Repeat a key expression or use a similar one throughout a paragraph
DOVETAIL SENTENCES
• Dovetailed – when an idea at the end of one connects with an idea at the
beginning of the next
(6 of 7)
INCLUDE PRONOUNS
• Familiar pronouns (we, they, he, she, it) and demonstrative pronouns
(this, that, these, those) build continuity.
• Often require a noun to make meaning clear
EMPLOY TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS

• Transitional expressions – signal that a train of thought is moving forward,
being developed, and possibly detouring or ending
Figure 5.5 Transitional Expressions
That Build Coherence
To Add or To Show Time To Show Cause
Strengthen or Order To Clarify and Effect To Contradict To Contrast
additionally after for example accordingly actually as opposed to
accordingly before for instance as a result but at the same time
again earlier I mean consequently however by contrast
also finally in other words for this reason in fact conversely
beside first put another way hence instead on the contrary
indeed meanwhile that is so rather on the other hand
likewise next this means therefore still previously
moreover now thus thus yet similarly
(7 of 7)
Control Paragraph Length
• Short paragraphs are more readable and attractive than longer ones.
• Use paragraphs that are eight or fewer printed lines (not sentences).
• Consider breaking a topic into smaller segments to control paragraph length.
Discussion Activity
• This chapter describes brainstorming and brainwriting as techniques for

generating ideas. Explore the Internet for other methods such as freewriting,
looping, listing, clustering, and reporters’ questions.
• Select a method that appeals to you and be prepared to explain to the group
why it would be effective.
Discussion Debrief
• What idea-generating techniques did you find in your Internet research?

• What method appeals to you?
• Why would it be effective?
Self-Assessment
Commas
EXAMPLE: Before writing any message the writer needs to anticipate the
audience’s reaction.
REVISION: Before writing any message, the writer needs to anticipate the
audience’s reaction. [Guide 22]

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Chapter 5

Organizing and Drafting

5-3 Demonstrate methods for organizing ideas to show relationships.

5-6 Explain how to create well-organized, coherent paragraphs.

• What campus problem did your group choose to analyze?

Typical Document Components

_ True _ False

_ True _ False

_ True _ False

2. Compound Sentence – contains two complete but related thoughts; may be

4. Compound-Complex Sentence – contains at least two independent clauses

1. Simple sentence; 2. Compound sentence; 3. Complex sentence; 4. Compound-complex sentence

a) Americans pride themselves on their informality. _____

c) Informality in Asia often equals disrespect; it is not seen as a virtue. ____

Font changes Selecting a large, small, or different font draws interest.

• Label the main idea.

• Place the bad news in a dependent clause connected to an independent

Lacks Parallelism Illustrates Parallelism

EMPLOY TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS

• This chapter describes brainstorming and brainwriting as techniques for

• What idea-generating techniques did you find in your Internet research?

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