VERSION 6 SATIRE TO WAKE YOU UP!

Bennets Ebook to shock you! YOU, yes IKAW NGA! Ikaw

na Confused, Lazy, and Sleepy Catholic.
A work-in-progress, 57pages of rough and raw funwriting. Those who
do not appreciate satire, irony, and parody, please do not read this
book.

NOW REVEALED.
CATHOLIC SLEEPWALKERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!

BENNET AMOROSO
Knowledge Architect, Faith Engineer, Math/Logic/TaiChi Tutor
Retreat Director & Blues-Rock-Lead Guitarist
I simplify the complex, I slay dragons of confusion
0918 315 5634 bodylusog@yahoo.com Facebook: BENNET AMOROSO

1
THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN WHILE LISTENING 77 times to all the songs of
WOLFGANG. This book is best read with the same Wolfgang songs!

Sa Ebook na ito mababasa mo ang mga iniiwasang topic sa Simbahan.

Ang mga bagay na gustong sabihin sayo ni Father, pero nahihiya siya.
Polite din kasi si Father, para hindi ka ma-offend kasi baka lalong
kumunti ang magsimba pag nasaktan ka, o sa inis mo ay pinakamaliit na
maruming barya ang ilimos mo.
Dito mo rin mababasa ang hindi pa kayang sabihin sayo ni Bo Sanchez,
ang hindi pa kayang isigaw ni Mike Velarde. At ang hindi pa kayang
gamutin ni Fr. Fernando Suarez. Dito mo rin malalaman pati na rin ang
mga sensitive na isyu, na tinatranslate na lang sa polite and reverent
English tuwing homily para ma lessen ang impact (masyadong
kakagulat kasi kapag naka brutal na street-tagalog). Sa aklat na ito
magigimbal ka sa mga statistics na nagkalat sa Internet pero ayaw
aminin at pag-usapan. Ah, hindi pala nagkalat, kailangan mo palang
minahin kasi parang nakatago, kahit lantad naman. Thats The Internet!
My Precious! Tagong-lantad.
Surely, makaka-offend ang ebook na ito. Pero ok lang. Maluwag naman
si Pope Francis. The Holiness Pope Francis is so kind, he cannot
excommunicate me. He welcomes everyone with open arms. He
legalized heresy. Joke lang!
Ito ang ebook na patagong babasahin ng mga pari, madre, seminarista,
at mga layko. At maaasar o matatawa sila sa sulok. Babasahin din ito ng
mga Obispo at Cardinal pero di nila aaminin.
CAUTION: kung ikaw ay Freethinker o Dialectical Materialist o ikaw si
Carlos Padre Damaso Celdran, wag magbunyi kasi this book MIGHT
JUST CONVERT YOU. THIS BOOK IS A BOOK ABOUT CATHOLICS WRITTEN
BY A FAITHFUL CATHOLIC in an offensive and hurting manner. This
will hurt people TO CONVERT them. (see, converting people is good,
please tell Pope Francis about it. Sabi kasi ng Holiness ay hindi na daw
politically-correct ang magconvert people to the Catholic Faith. So with
all due respect, I am contradicting the opinion of my own Pope.)
If pikon ka, dont read beyond this page. Up to here ka na lang.

Now set aside your polite Bo Sanchez books. Bennet,

the Faith Engineer, is here. ABANGAN ANG MGA ASTIG
at MALULUPET NA EBOOKS NI BENNET.
Unlike other ebooks, these are originally written and edited by my
very own imperfect self, based on my 100% life experiences and
35 years of research! I simplify the complex. I slay dragons of
confusions. All for you!
AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOADING, HERE MY EBOOKS
PAANO MATUTUNAN ANG ALGEBRA NA HINDI SINASADYA
(Bakit pag sa schools kumplikadong magturo ng Math ang mga Teachers?)
CALCULUS! PINADALI, PARA KA LANG NAKAMOT SA PUWET
(Bakit mahirap matutunan ang Math sa Schools?)
PAANO ALISIN ANG PANTY NG GIRL NA CRUSH MO
(Kapag nakahanger ito sa sampayan biglang umulan at utos niya isilong mo)
PUTANG INA, GANITO KAMI SA CATHOLIC SCHOOLS
(Bakit malutong magmura ang mga kolehiyala at hayskulaya)
SAMPUNG SIMPLENG PALIWANAG TUNGKOL SA
KRISTIYANISMO! Mga astig na prinsipyong hindi mo ikahihiyang
ikwento ayon kay Pareng CS Lewis, Barkadang Peter Kreeft,
Katropang si John Hardon, at kainumang Tolkien, Belloc, at Chesterton.
TEACHERS, kunwari nagti-teach. STUDENTS, kunwari nag eestudy
(A Bold, Funny Expose on the State of Education in the Philippines)
COLLEGE KA NA! Masusurvive mo ba ang kabaliwang yan?
A COLLEGE SURVIVAL MANUAL ayon sa makamandag na karanasan ni Bennet
ANG LABINSIYAM (19) NA EX-GIRLFRIENDS KO, NASAAN NA KAYO?
Kung Paano Ko Sila Hinanap sa Facebook
TAMBAY SURVIVAL MANUAL
Buti ka pa, mayaman sa oras. Pwede mong gawing pera ang oras mo.

Note: sa mga mahilig mangahoy, mangopya, at magpirata ng mga

ebooks kayo na mga nagpapa ghostwrite (lang pala!), para kunwari
kayo ang nagsulat, kahit hindi naman. Patented and Copyrighted sa
Diyos ang mga ebooks kong ito. Pag ginaya mo ito o pinirata, walang
ispiritu ang iyong maisusulat. At ang isusulat ng ghostwriter mo ay
walang kick and sizzle kasi nga hindi iyo. HUWAG MAGNASA SA HINDI
BUNGA NG IYONG ISIP. Hehe. Peace!

MY EBOOKS FOR DOWNLOADING more more!

MAYSAKIT BA ANG MAHAL MO SA BUHAY, IPAGDASAL NA MUNA!
bago mo dalhin sa botika, klinik, ospital, at punerarya
TALINO SURVIVAL MANUAL
Bakit marami kang alam, pero hindi ka wise?
TRABAHO SURVIVAL MANUAL
Mapalad ang madiskarteng tamad
PAANO MAGING BANAL SA NABABALIW NA MUNDO
Bakit antok ka sa Simbahan pero dilat at gala ka sa Mall (ETO NA!)
PANLILIGAW SURVIVAL MANUAL
Merong Forever! Kasi God is love and God is forever
(Kahit masakit pagtaksilan? Kahit masakit mabigo?)
MAY ASTIG PA BA SA KWENTONG-PANAGINIP KO?
Ang Kabuluhan ng mga Walang Kabuluhang Panaginip
SI MARIA NA ANG GIRLFRIEND KO
The Art of Defending Mother Mary Against Attacks
(ang walang katapusang atake ng mga kulto laban sa Ina ni Hesus)
MAY FOREVER, PERO WALANG GLOBAL WARMING
AT WALANG CLIMATE CHANGE
O bakit mas in-love ang mga environmentalists
sa mga dolphins kaysa sa taong nasa sinapupunan
MAG NUCLEAR PEACE NA!
Ayoko pa rin sa nuclear war, pero gusto ko Bataan Nuclear Power Plant

IBALIK ANG ROTC! (Gigil na kasi ang mga kabataang

adik sa SF, GTA, at DOTA)
MARTIAL ARTS SURVIVAL MANUAL
Para Sa Mga Naging Panatiko sa Martial Arts (katulad ko) at
Sa aking BestFriend na si Robert Morales (RIP), ang blackbelt at master ng
Karate (JKA), Judo (mapua judo club), at Arnis (Ilustrisimo) na namatay sa sakit
at kasalanan!
hindi sa engkwentro, hindi sa UFC, at hindi sa streetfight!
(sure, si Tatang Ilustrisimo nandyan din sa Purgatoryo, kitakits kayo dyan,
regards). Sa mga nalito, hindi po ito aklat patungkol sa Martial Arts, patungkol
po ito sa kung paano ma survive ang kabaliwan sa Martial Arts. Sinulat ko ito
dahil hindi ako tantanan ng mga adventure-memories ko with Robert sa
MAPUA JUDO CLUB. Shit, Robert, namamatay ka rin pala. May You Rest In
Peace. Eternal Rest Grant Unto You, My Friend and My Fellow Ranger
(remember my first day of training? You were there with me, on our endless
push ups for our being legendary latecomers. Late have we loved our God too. I
hope you had). Beer, more beer.

WHAT BO SANCHEZ CANNOT TELL YOU

ABOUT OUR CHURCH

Originally Written and Edited by

BENNET AMOROSO
Knowledge Architect Faith Engineer
0918 315 5634 bodylusog@yahoo.com Facebook: Bennet Amoroso
Facebook: MarianMind Review Center

COPYRIGHT 2015
The more readers distribute this Ebook, the more masaya. Wag lang babaguhin
ang contents. Wag ding papalitan ng Piolo Pascual ang Bennet Amoroso kasi
mas gwapo ako sa kanya.

PHOTOCREDITS
(sa lahat ng mga photos na ginamit ko dito pero
hindi man lang ako nagpaalam, kapos n po ksi s oras)
Hindi mo ba naiintindihan? Kaya nga credits, utang na muna. Seriously, this is a
free ebook. Kaya I didnt gain any money for using your pictures. Sumikat pa
nga kayo. Kayo ang magbayad sa akin for publishing your works of art
PhotoUtang Muna! thanks ha. Great shots.

The church is desperate

The bleak statistics that will depress you
(wag tingnan, baka magpakamatay ka)

11

Wala nang Diyos ang Department of Education

13

Si vice-ganda magpapari. Si miss pastillas magmamadre

16

Ang mga layko pati na mga manang at manong

17

A glimpse of what is going on in so-called catholics schools

22

Let us talk about kamadrehan naman

24

Tayong mga tao ay mga gwapo at magagandang unggoy lang,

ayon sa madreng ito

25

Anong taktika ng diablo kaya nagkaganito ang kamadrehan?

27

Pagtripan naman natin ang mga homily ng pari

28

So, paano nga magpakabanal sa ganito kabaliw na mundo?

31

Sa mga katolikong tulog

Sa mga katolikong dilat pero naging anti-catholic
Sa mga katolikong dilat pero dedma at walang paki

32
36
41

Ano naman pala ang dapat gawin para dumami

ang mga seminarista at mga magmamadre?

41

Ano naman ang dapat gawin ng mga anti-katoliko?

43

Buti na lang may Fr. John Hardon SJ

47

Ang writer ng Ebook na ito. Some lil data about Bennet

49

BEFORE READING, CHECK FIRST IF HERE ANG NAMES NYO

PAG HERE, UMATRAS NA joke lang DELETE THIS EBOOK AGAD.
Characters and Names and Entities who were mentioned in this Ebook.
Thanks for your special roles in this Ebook. Congrats for participating. Also
the rock bands and dogs who kept me company:
Eric Clapton
Steve Vai
John Mayer
Trio Los Panchos
The Doors (Jim Morrison)
Kamikazee
Sting
Mantovani and His Orchestra
My pet dogs: Dog Queen, Paput, Hopee, Kimi (RIP), Novo (RIP)
Arnel Gabriel
Tony Maghirang
Jerry Plaza
Carlo Magno Jose
Aris
Ting
Alexis Marion Amoroso Lagante
Carlos Celdran
Danton Remoto
Vice Ganda
Miss Pastillas
Bo Sanchez
Mike Velarde
Fr. Fernando Suarez
Pope Francis
Robert Morales
Fr. John Hardon
The Jesuits
Ateneo
La Salle
Blessed Charles de Foucauld
St. Augustine
Vice Ganda
Miss Pastillas
Ivan Man Dy
Unggoys

Cardinal Manning (Henry Edward Manning)

Diablo
GK Chesterton
Bishop Fulton Sheen
CS Lewis
Rangers (Rainbow, Scout, Forest, Power)
Robert Morales (RIP)
SEALs
French Foreign Legion
Special Air Service
Kevin Mitnick
Steve Jobs
Bill Gates
John Draper
Fr. John Hardon SJ
Jimmy Swaggart
Tim Staples
Emperor Constantine
Nietzsche
Freud
Kant
Karl Marx
Machiavelli
Sartre
Padre Damaso
Che Guevarra
Carlos the Jackol
Saint Augustine
Derrick Manas
Steve Wozniak, Steve Jobs, John Drapper, Kevin Mitnick, Bill Gates,
Mr. Gumba
Aris, Ting, Marlon, the Gadjas
Shaolin monks
My Guardian Angel My Saint Benedict
Joshua, thanks for downloading pix and your patience
Mayet, thanks for the patience, ganito ang mga writer mga sira-ulo
Best Personal Most Faithful Friend, Jesus

WARNING WARNING CAUTION CAUTION WARNING CAUTION

If pikon ka, dont read beyond this page. Up to here ka na lang. MAAWA KA
SA SENSITIVE PARTS MO. OVERFLOWING GRIMES OF SATIRE HERE, YOU WILL
WIPE EXCESS OF THEM OFF YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN.

Start na tayo. IN NOMINE PATRIS, ET FILII, ET SPIRITUS SANCTI. AMEN

Pag umikot ka sa mga simbahan, makakakita ka sa bulletin board ng
mga Ads tungkol sa pag-iinvite para pumasok sa seminaryo. Kwela!
Ewan ko kung nakapost pa yung tungkol sa mga Men In Brown
(Carmelites) na mga friars-to-be na naka wacky shots. Taasan ang mga
paa, alanganing pakomedi ang mukha, pawagayway ang mga kamay na
parang sinasabi: cmon join us, it is not hard over here, easy life, kain
tulog lang, padasal-dasal, pa misyon-misyon, payakap-yakap sa mga
poor and sick cmon join us let us rock and roll with God.
Meron namang pa-astig effect. Gawa ng mga Jesuits. There was this
brochure that I cannot and will never forget. It is I think a three-fold lil
cute brochure with a lil cute message that goes this way: join us, the
Jesuits, we are so principled we can even defy some Popes. THE
JESUITS. MY PRECIOUS! (Hehe. My comment: now the Pope is a Jesuit,
will they defy The Holiness?)

10

THE CHURCH IS DESPERATE.

This church is running out of cadres (read: seminarians, deacons,
priests, astig-catechists, dynamic teachers-of-the-true-faith) and is
desperately storming the heavens with prayers, begging God in bended
knees, to send young folks to enter seminaries and convents. There is a
special prayer for this intention every Sunday. Actually, God has already
said yes, ok na, will na ng God na dumami mga seminarista at pari, pero
the Church has a systemic defect and an identity crisis: it keeps
throwing obstacles to the grace of God. Kaya, wa epek ang prayers.
Read on.
THE CHURCH IS GOING DESPERATE.
Scroll down easy and slow, lazy bone. Yes, you lazyboned Catholic. Scroll
down. THESE STATS WILL JOLT YOU.
THE STATISTICS THAT WILL HURT AND DEPRESS YOU. WAG BASAHIN
KUNG MAGPAPAKAMATAY KA NA.
Index of Leading Catholic Indicators: The Church Since Vatican II. (1965
onwards)
Priests. While the number of priests in the United States more than
doubled to 58,000, between 1930 and 1965, since then that number has
fallen to 45,000. By 2020, there will be only 31,000 priests left, and
more than half of these priests will be over 70.
Ordinations. In 1965, 1,575 new priests were ordained in the United
States. In 2002, the number was 450. In 1965, only 1 percent of U.S.
parishes were without a priest. Today, there are 3,000 priestless
parishes, 15 percent of all U.S. parishes.
Seminarians. Between 1965 and 2002, the number of seminarians
dropped from 49,000 to 4,700, a decline of over 90 percent. Two-thirds
of the 600 seminaries that were operating in 1965 have now closed.

11

Sisters. In 1965, there were 180,000 Catholic nuns. By 2002, that had
fallen to 75,000 and the average age of a Catholic nun is today 68. In
1965, there were 104,000 teaching nuns. Today, there are 8,200, a
decline of 94 percent since the end of Vatican II.
Religious Orders. For religious orders in America, the end is in sight. In
1965, 3,559 young men were studying to become Jesuit priests. In 2000,
the figure was 389. With the Christian Brothers, the situation is even
more dire. Their number has shrunk by two-thirds, with the number of
seminarians falling 99 percent. In 1965, there were 912 seminarians in
the Christian Brothers. In 2000, there were only seven. The number of
young men studying to become Franciscan and Redemptorist priests fell
from 3,379 in 1965 to 84 in 2000. (The Jesuits are the ones managing
Ateneo schools, Christian Brothers for La Salle (?)).
Catholic schools. Almost half of all Catholic high schools in the United
States have closed since 1965. The student population has fallen from
700,000 to 386,000. Parochial schools suffered an even greater decline.
Some 4,000 Catholic high schools have disappeared, and the number of
pupils attending has fallen below 2 million from 4.5 million.
Though the number of U.S. Catholics has risen by 20 million since 1965,
Jones statistics show that the power of Catholic belief and devotion to
the Faith are not nearly what they were.
Catholic Marriage. Catholic marriages have fallen in number by onethird since 1965, while the annual number of annulments has soared
from 338 in 1968 to 50,000 in 2002.
Attendance at Mass. A 1958 Gallup Poll reported that three in four
Catholics attended church on Sundays. A recent study by the University
of Notre Dame found that only one in four now attend.

12

WALA NANG DIYOS ANG DEP-ED. THE DECLINE OF THE CHURCH AND
THE RISING OF THE FREETHINKERS! ON THE LOCAL SCENE, EKSENANG
PILIPINAS The Department of Education (DepEd) recently revised (2013)
its vision-mission statement apparently omitting the phrase "Godloving" in describing the kind of Filipinos that the academic sector aims
to hone.
The older DepEd vision states:
By 2030, DepEd is globally recognized for good governance and for
developing functionally-literate and God-loving Filipinos.
The rewritten vision now reads:
We dream of Filipinos who passionately love their country and whose
values and competencies enable them to realize their full potential and
contribute meaningfully to building the nation ...
(THE FREETHINKERS ARE NOW CLAIMING THAT IT WAS THEY WHO
DEMANDED THAT THE WORDS GOD-LOVING be plucked out and
thrown out of the window. Actually they wrote a letter to the Dep Ed
demanding this. Natakot ang DepEd sa Freethinkers!)
Ayon sa mga Freethinkers, nakaka-offend daw kasi sa mga atheists ang
words na God-Loving. Oo nga naman yata daw, sabi ni Armin Luistro
FSC, Head ng DepEd. Brother Armin is a member of Christian Brothers of
La Salle schools and universities. FSC is Fratres Scholarum
Christianorum, Brothers of the Christian Schools, popularly known as
the De La Salle Brothers.
THE CATHOLIC BISHOPS ACTUALLY FLEXED THEIR MUSCLES AND rolled
the drums of theological war para maibalik ang words na God-loving,
pero the bishops found out that they were alone in this fight. No laykos
actively supporting them. No Catholic schools actively supporting the
bishops call too. No Couples for Christ. No Singles for Christ. No Catholic
Womens League, No Apostolado, No Knights of Columbus, etc. As in no
one volunteered to answer the bishops trumpet call. Lahat ng layko

13

tumunganga. Lahat naghihintay ng instructions, naghintayan actually.

Walang gustong mauna o maging lider sa mga layko. Kung sa paputok,
supot na naman ang mga layko. Kaya muli, naiwang nakalutang sa
hangin ang mga Obispo. No one among the layfolks wanted to stick
their necks out. No laykos on the trenches. See, wala talagang cadres
ang Church na ito. THIS HAPPENED WHILE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS
REJOICING THE YEAR OF THE LAY OR ANG TAON NG MGA LAYKO.
But where are the lay? (On their comfortable nests, laying eggs or
scratching eggs.)
Kaya it was the faceless social media netizens who were fighting for the
Church actually.
TO QUOTE ONE FEISTY POST ON THE SOCIAL MEDIA:
How quickly we follow after the U.S! They removed God from their
constitution, and now all Bibles and religious icons and reading
materials are banned from public places, from the U.S. Army, Navy, Air
Force, everywhere! You can't even wear a Catholic medal or rosary on
your neck, or pull it out in front of people because theyll say that it's
against the law. Try to make the sign of the cross and people will quarrel
with you. But they allow Muslim or Hindu soldiers to wear turbans
instead of regular soldiers' hats/caps while at work! Insane! And now,
the Philippines is going ANTI-GOD. (and our very DepEd is leading the
way. Crazy World. Paano Ka Magpapakabanal sa Nababaliw na
Mundo?)
SO BACK TO EKSENANG PILIPINAS, ano ang susunod na ipatatanggal ng
mga Freethinkers, siguro ang phrase na imploring the aid of Almighty
God in the PREAMBLE OF OUR PHILIPPINE CONSTITUTION.
Amidst this, noticed how Catholic Schools are competing with each
other on how to churn out employable graduates? Just ogle at their
billboards outside on their walls. Sila ay parang mga dambuhalang
training agencies na lang ng mga employment agencies. Mas
makakatipid siguro ang gobyerno kung iabsorb na lang ng DOLE
(Department of Labor) ang DepED (Department of Education).

14

At tulog pa rin tayong lahat?

This is the STATE OF THE CHURCH TODAY, POPE FRANCIS. And once
again, the compassion compassion of Dalai Lama is not the solution
here. So wag nyo na pong gayahin si Dalai Lama.
Ok, now. Takbo ka kay Father at isumbong mo ang aklat na ito. Sabihin
mo Father, Father, expose ito hindi dapat malaman ng lahat ang
statistics at mga pangyayaring ito. In his characteristic coolness (lagi
naman), the good priest will just tell you, wala yan, hayaan mo na ang
America, malakas naman tayo sa Africa, maraming nagpapari kaya na
mga blacks and Africans.
Notice the black priest na archivist sa movie na Vatican Tapes? Astig!
Ganyan ang mga pari someday. Parang Marine Drill Sergeant. Marami
sila, padami sila. No kidding, totoo yan. Dati sila ang ini evangelize ng
mga puti. Ngayon it is their turn. Si Norman Black ay magpapari na rin?
Kumusta kaya ang statistics sa Europe? Europe is just like America, on
the decline na rin ang bilang ng mga pari na Europeans.
E, ang Pilipinas kaya? SECRET! O halata. Pakonti ba sa Pilipinas ang mga
pari o padami? Ask nyo bishops nyo. Bawal magsinungaling. Email me
ha para sa susunod na aklat, eexpose na rin natin.
bodylusog@yahoo.com
Kung talagang Astig ang mga Jesuits, bakit kokonti na ang sumasali sa
kanila as full-timer vowed consecrated-to-death na mga Jesuits? So with
the La Sallian, if Christian Brothers are really that good, bakit pakonti
nang pakonti ang gustong maging katulad nila?
Many are going to Ateneo and La Salle schools kasi automatic ang
employment after-graduation, careerists kasi halos lahat. Very very few
wanted to be like their founders, like Ignatius de Loyola and Baptiste de
La Salle, WHY OH WHY? Akala ko noong una, Catholic schools are here
to produce Saints and Heroes. Parang baliktad pa e, Catholic schools are
here to bash their own Catholic doctrines (which they dont fully

15

understand naman). Weird. The bad habit of completely bashing what

they dont completely understand is an epidemic nowadays.

SI VICE-GANDA MAGPAPARI. SI MISS PASTILLAS MAGMAMADRE

Mas good pa si Vice Ganda kasi lahat ng bading na nanonood sa kanya
lagi ay gustong maging next Vice Ganda. Bakit walang gustong maging
the next Saint Baptiste de la Salle o maging Saint Ignatius de Loyola sa
mga istudyante ng La Salle at Ateneo? Kaya siguro, the Mass is like an
entertainment na rin? Kasi sumuko na ang Simbahan kay Vice Ganda?
Para maentertain ang mga tao, para maraming gustong maging pari
dahil ang PARI AY DAKILANG ENTERTAINER SA KANYANG MISA
KATULAD NI VICE GANDA. Wala nga namang inaantok sa live studio ng
ABS-CBN pero sa simbahan, marami. Ano, consultant na ng Simbahan
si Vice Ganda para gawing kwela at riot ang Misa?
No wonder. Maraming nagkukumpisal kay Vice Ganda sa kanyang
Showtime slot na Advice Ganda. Promise, Vice Ganda is good in advising
and counseling people ha, pwede siyang maging pari. Cmon down, Miss
Pastillas! Pwede ka ring magmadre. Everyone is welcome, ayon kay
Pope Francis.
NABABALIW NA NGA ANG MUNDO! PAANO KA MAGING BANAL SA
MUNDONG ITO? NA ANG MGA KATOLIKO AY TULOG, MAY DILAT PERO
REBELDE NAMAN, AT MARAMING WALANG PAKI. Read on.

16

SA MGA NA-HURT at NA-OFFEND NG MGA WORDS DITO, please

post your sentiments here FB accnt BENNET AMOROSO.
Gumanti. Revenge is sweet. Hehe.
ETO ANG PALUSOT NG MGA MODERNISTS = In the modern world, you
know, (pronounce you know na parang jeproks na Hesuita) you dont
need many priests and madres and deacons and seminarians. You just
need more enlightened lay people mga alright tsong na LAYKO.
Kaya, let us talk about MGA LAYKO, scroll down page lazy-boned
Catholic!
Ano ba itong mga laykong ipinagmamalaki ng Simbahan? Read on
Lazyboned Catholic. Scroll down.
ANG MGA LAYKO PATI NA MGA MANONG AT MANANG
Naku usapang layko ito. Marami akong barkadang layko. May I hurt
you? Isama ko na rito yung mga manang at manong at mga miyembro
ng mga lay religious organizations.
VOCABULARY LESSONS para sa mga hindi taong-simbahan:
Layko means mga tao sa simbahan na hindi pari, hindi madre, hindi
obispo, hindi cardinal, hindi Pope. Hindi kasali ang mga rebulto.
Manong and Manang means sila ang mga Layko na Level-Up. Laging
nasa simbahan ayon sa ibat ibang kadahilanan. Ka close ni God and
more closer sa priests. Sila yung (ewan ko bakit) pag umikot na yung
offertory collection basket o buslo ay usually ay hindi naglalaglag ng
kahit singko, ewan ko talaga bakit. Siguro, mas malaki ang donations
nila, hindi kasya sa basket o buslo, kaya sa parish office na lang. Direct.
Layko means sila yung nagsisimba tuwing Sunday, on the way to the
Mall na tuwing Sunday rin. Na para bang ihahandog nila kay Henry Sy
ang nalikom sa simbahan na mga biyayat swerti bago pa umuwi sa
kanilang mga tahanan. No wonder, very blessed si Henry Sy. In fact, for

17

convenience, nasa Mall na rin ang Misa para convenient nga naman at
hindi na mahirapan ang mga layko. So, yung mesa na ginagamit sa Holy
Mass sa umaga ay yun na rin siguro sa hapon yung pinapatungan ng
mga naka sale na turon, pansit, at dinuguan sa SM Food Courts. Ayos!

Layko Pa Rin means sila yung natutulog na pasimple habang may Misa,
nag-iipon ng energy para later on ay full energy sila sa pag stroll sa mga
Malls. Gigising para mag text. Then tulog ulit. TAPOS NA ANG MISA!
Hoy, ano na ang dapat gawin?
Manang means sila yung mga kasali sa Church orgs. In fact, lahat ng
religious organizations ay sinasalihan nila. Kaya tuwing procession o may
social functions sa simbahan ay hindi malaman kung anong uniporme
ang gagamitin. Ang iba ay may dalang spare uniforms para kung ano ang
eksena ay laging kasali. Palit uniform, palit spirituality, palit eksena. A
typical Manang is a member of an average of five religious
organizations.
Manang Pa Rin means tama ka, sila pa rin. Kapag may tatlong sunodsunod na meeting sa maghapon, hindi sila nagtataka kung bakit sila-sila
ulit ang nagkikita sa mga miting, sila-sila ulit kasi ang officers and
members. At ang nakapagtataka ay tuwang-tuwa sila na sila-sila ulit ang
mga nagkikita. Strange and silly talaga. Typical na eksena at dialog: oy,
ikaw na naman, oo ako nga, president na ako dun sa isa e, kaya ako
naman ang secretary ngayon dito, ikaw?, may bago daw na itatayong

18

church org, tayna tanong natin kay Father, sali tayo. Tuwang-tuwa
naman din si Father sa ganitong organizational setup. Ewan ko rin talaga
bakit. Siguro sa isip ni Father, buti na yan kaysa naman maburo ang mga
ito sa kabi-binggo o kadidilig ng mga orchids sa bahay. Inip sa bahay,
kaya members sila ng mga religious organizations sa simbahan! Ito na
rin ang kanilang mga social clubs. Palipasan oras ang gawaing Simbahan.
They kill time by being in the Church. Hehe, akala ko ba Thou shall not
kill.
Manang na Nagpapatubo. Yuppie Yup, meron nyan. Kung sa Iglesia ni
Kristo at mga Muslim ay bawal ang 5-6 o abusadong pagpapatubo,
available po yan, magtatanong-tanong lang po among Catholic layfolks
at meron nyan among the manangs sa Catholic Church.
Manong and Manang living their faiths within their comfort zones. Eto
naman yung mga Manong and Manang na akala nila banal na sila. Pero
yun pala, nakahiga lang ang kanilang pananampalataya sa kama at
kutson ng kanilang sariling definition of what faith is. Ang gamot dito: sa
end ng Mass, pag sinabi ng pari na humayo kayo, dapat lahat magsilayas
na, bawal na ang tambay sa simbahan, bawal na ang sobrang mitingmiting. Lahat dapat ay nasa labas, mag recruit, mag evangelize, maki
boodle sa mga pulubi at iskwater, makipagkwentuhan sa mga hindi
kakilala, maging mapagmahal na diyos sa mga walang diyos.
HUMAYO, MAGSILAYAS NA, GAWIN NA ANG PAGDADASAL SA
PAMAMAGITAN NG PAGGAWA AT EVANGELIZATION THERE OUT IN
THE DANGEROUS, UNCOMFORTABLE STREETS, there inside workplaces
and families and homes. Magrecruit ng mga astig at magagaling na
cadres, magparami! Magyaya ng mga tao para magsimba.
Manong means sila yung mga duwag. Sila yung kahit nagbibigay na ng
cue o signal si Father, na para bang ano ba kayo, mundo nyo yan, please
fight and protect us and your beloved Church. Ipagtanggol nyo naman
kaming mga pari at ang ating mahal na Simbahan, kasi layko na katulad
ninyo ang lumalaban sa amin at bumabastos sa amin. Wala, duwag pa
rin ang mga Manong. (see what happened nung mag trespass si Carlos
Celdran sa Cathedral, not one manong or layko there ay humamon ng
suntukan sa bastos na intruder na yan, that coward Carlos Damaso

19

Celdran who cannot do the same pambabastos to a meeting of Muslim

religious leaders in the Quiapo mosque surely pagpapasensiyahan din
siya siguro, pero ang takot lang nya). Carlos Celdran, in fairness, is just
expressing out his art which he calls Performance Arts. If I were there,
I could have expressed too to him my kind of art: Martial Arts. Sarap
hamunin this Carlos to do it again, here in our huge Basilica. Para to the
amusement of all, ay magkaroon ng libreng UFC octagon sa loob ng
simbahan. Performance Arts versus Martial Arts. Funny. Ang Ballet ni
Carlos versus My Combat Tai Chi/Jujitsu. Magkasubukan na. Arts for arts
sake. Hehe. Ok lang ang suntukan basta Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

BISHOP FULTON SHEEN

20

Now because we mentioned Carlos Celdran! He said he is a Catholic kasi

he still utters hail mary polagris daw when boarding planes and being
jolted by air pockets. We might as well, add to our vocabulary the
Carlos-Celdran-type of Catholics. They are the LAY MODERNIST
CATHOLICS who are the so-called hopeful products of the La Salle and
Ateneo Universities.

Lay Modernist Catholics. Sila yung mga hindi na katoliko pero

sumasakay pa rin sa barko ng mga katoliko. For personal clarity sake,
they are not even personally clear about their OWN BRAND OR KIND OF
FAITH. I have a great feeling, Carlos is a product of either La Salle or
Ateneo also. His philosophy sala sa init, sala sa lamig, kung saan siya
masaya dun siya. This is the kind of Catholicism which is the most
dangerously confusing of them all. Mas komportable pa akong
makaulayaw ang mga barkada kong professed and true-red komunista,
atheists, agnostics than the likes of Carlos who can mock and contradict
himself by saying words to this effect I am still a Catholic, see, I even
say the hail mary polagris while I contradict basic church doctrines,
while I distribute condoms, while I shout take away your rosaries out of
our ovaries and while I trespass civilized meetings of my bishops.
Maraming katulad ni Carlos d Jackol ang naglilipana sa loob ng mga socalled Catholic schools. They call themselves mga politically-correct

21

Catholic professors of sociology, philosophy, anthropology, and religious

studies. Some are even catechists. Halos wala at kokonti lang na mga
Engineering and Mathematics and Physics Professors ang komokontra
sa Catholic and Christian doctrines. Ewan ko ba kung bakit yung mga
hindi nakakaintindi ng hard sciences and mga mahihina sa Math ang
karaniwan sa mga atheists and agnostics sa campuses. And when they
argue against Faith, they are fond of quoting and misquoting scientists
ha. Hindi sila scientists, they just love quoting scientists para magmukha
silang matatalinong scientists. Kaya siguro I took up engineering, not
liberal arts or the soft sciences, kasi mahal ako ng Diyos. Sample ng pagiisip ng mga ito: they cannot fathom that the universe has a design,
therefore has a Designer. They do not believe in the existence of what
they cannot see, but they believe in the existence of the unseen Black
Holes, (basta sinabi ng mga scientists, whose original raw data and
telescopic findings these mathphobics cannot even understand.) They
infer to prove that there are blackholes, but they do not infer to know
that there is a Designer in a well-designed universe.
A GLIMPSE OF WHAT IS GOING ON IN SO-CALLED CATHOLICS SCHOOLS
Noong nasa kainitan ng debate on RH BILL, naglabas ng position paper
ang piling members of Ateneo community of professors. As expected
pro-RH BILL sila. What can you expect? And when counter-criticized, the
Jesuits-Ateneo-Admin defended this PRO-RHBILL stand, saying academic
freedom daw. Again, what can you expect? Ang exciting side ay eto, nag
counter position ang UST, no, not the UST admin (who in my opinion
was fence-sitting too!), nag counter position ang students publication
ng UST. The AntiRHBILL UST campus publication versus the mighty
ProRHBILL professors of Ateneo. BOTH CATHOLIC SCHOOLS.
Academic freedom becomes an end by itself. Academic Freedom
becomes the New God of Ateneo professors. Sa kalagitnaan ng sigwang
ito, NOT ONE SO-CALLED CATHOLIC SCHOOLS IN METRO MANILA joined
the fray. Walang pumanig sa UST kasi surely hindi politically-correct to
side with UST. (There is a new definition of correctness these days: be
politically-correct and you are correct all the way, you also have a
monopoly of the truth). Lahat nag fence-sit. See, that is the state of

22

Catholic Schools in the Philippines. They are either in a state of

theological fence-sitting OR modernism. They are simply hostage of
their own definition of academic freedom. They are efficient factories to
churn out graduates for employment purposes only. Where is the true
Catholic Faith and where are the Catholic schools that must mold and
produce future saints and heroes? (dont get me wrong. I also like
graduates to be employable and skillful and professionally well-trained,
but cant these Catholic Schools produce graduates who are saints,
loyalists of the Church, and heroes too while having those skills and
training? Kung hindi rin lang naman, tanggalin na nila ang word na
catholic o ang trademark na catholic sa kanilang identity or names.
O baka naman nandyan pa ang mga catholic trademarks na yan para
makalikom pa ng maraming donations from the rich yet gullible
Catholics).
NO WONDER, THE MENTIONED GRIM STATISTICS.
NO WONDER, THE FOREBODING STATISTICS! Sinong kabataan ang
magpe-pledge ng buong buhay niya sa isang kind of Faith which is
diluted, not pure, contaminated, undefined, and relativistic? BAKIT SILA
PAPASOK SA SEMINARYO O MAGSISIMBA LAGI? The impression is the
kind of faith they see around is no longer true, it is relativistic, therefore
NOT WORTHY TO LIVE AND DIE FOR. So are these youths willing to
sacrifice their pagkapogi and their sexual gigil and their capacity to
procreate their own biological children for something not worthy to
live and die for? Kapag pabago-bago, pilosopiyang naaayon sa uso lang,
theological truths na ok now, tomorrow no more. HOW WILL THESE
YOUTHS LIVE AND DIE FOR THIS KIND OF RELATIVISTIC AND
MODERNISTIC FAITH? NO SIR THEY WILL NOT SERVE! OF COURSE NEVER
SIR! NON SERVIAM.
SAYANG NGA NAMAN ANG SEMILYA KUNG GANYAN DIN LANG NAMAN.
That is the reason why, kokonti ang pumapasok sa mga seminaryo. Kung
meron man, marami sa kanila ay nakimbot.
Sabi nga ng mga youths, mag do DOTA na lang kami!

23

Sad to state, the present Church no longer attracts the best youths to
become the best priests because the Church itself is no longer the best
place to be. That is the impression. And impression is a kind of reality. A
kind of reality that in a relativistic society IS A REAL AND TRUE REALITY. I
hope I am wrong. Sana wrong talaga ako. Kasi nakakadepress if tama
ako.
LET US TALK ABOUT KAMADREHAN NAMAN
Walang belo. Parang hindi katoliko. Lahat eneepalan. Lalong nag-aral ng
malalim, lalong nagrebelde ng palihim. ASTA PARANG LAYKO. GALAW
PARANG LAYKO. HITSURA PARANG LAYKO. ISIP PARANG LAYKO. Bakit
hindi na lang maging layko, for personal clarity? Lumabas na lang ng
kumbento, mag-asawa at tumulong sa pagpopulate ng Europe na puro
na matatanda ang mga tao dahil sa kagagawan ng mga condoms at
contraceptives. Siguro ayaw umalis sa pagkamadre para mas malawak
na makapagpropagate ng mali at taliwas na katuruan habang
nakikinabang pa sa mga limos at donations. BAD. REALLY DAMN BAD.
May close friend ako na girl. Staff namin dati. Miyembro siya ng isang
kulto. Siempre iginagalang namin ang choice nya, mature and of age na
siya. At mukha naman siyang sincere sa kulto niya dahil yung tatay nya
ang pinakapinuno yata sa lugar nila. Pero nung medyo natatauhan na,
saka kami umentra. So we catechized her, evangelized her. Ang sabi
nya, sa amin sa kulto namin, disiplinado kami, maraming rules yung
iba bad rules yung iba good rules. Ang bida ko naman, sa Catholic faith
may rules din, puro good, puro malalim ang meaning. Minsan kaming
mga layko ay hard-headed, dagdag ko, kaya ang ideal namin sa
pagsunod ng rules ay ang mga madre at pari, mga obispo at cardinal.
Katulad ng ano, ask nya. Sabi ko, katulad ng hindi pagkain ng karne
tuwing Friday, sakripisyo talaga yan. Masarap kaya ang karne, kahit
anong araw lalo pag barbeque. Pero sabi ko, mahirap sa layko ang
makasunod dyan. Pero ang mga madre at pari meron silang mga
spiritual exercises to control their desires and appetites. Sila ang mga
idols, heroes, and models namin sa faith. Tuwang-tuwa siya. Alright!

24

Alright talaga! After a week, napabisita kami sa isang Catholic school.

Friday. May naamoy kami. Barbeque! Mga madre nagbabarbeque!
Tuwa pa sila habang tinutuhog ang mga karne, passionately. Sila pa
mismo ang nagbabarbeque at sarap na sarap sila habang kumakain ng
kanilang binabarbeque. Niyaya pa kami para kumain ng barbeque.
Friday! Tumingin sa amin si cult girl. Hindi kami natuwa. Alwrong!
Sabi ko kay cult girl, sila ang exceptions.

TAYONG MGA TAO AY MGA GWAPO AT MAGAGANDANG UNGGOY

LANG, AYON SA MADRENG ITO
Minsan naman, na invite ako ng isang magandang madre (how can u
refuse!) para umatend ng isang seminar. Wow, lalim ng title. Sabi ko, ok
ito ha. Sige attend ako. Umatend nga ako. Isang napakasikat na lider ng
mga kamadrehan ang magbibigay ng talk. Sit and behave ako. Eto na,
projector on! Laptop on! Microphones on! The works. She started, eto
ang sabi ni madrelider siguro magugulat kayo, pero I really just have to
tell you na galing lahat tayo sa mga inanimate na mga molecules sa
universe, tapos naging microscopic baby kiti-kiti ang mga ito, at naging
parang mga adult kiti-kiti, then lumangoy sa dagat ng cosmic soup,
gumapang palayo sa dagat-dagatang cosmic soup, umakyat ng bundok,
then naging unggoy, then naging mga gwapo at magagandang unggoytao, TAYO! Umasa ako na pick-up line lang nya yun, opening line lang
nya, siguro joke. Pero hindi. Seryoso siya. She even recited her
credentials, how she was taught by this and that and those theologians.
Abroad pa ha. Sa isip ko, naka-shabu si sister.
Hindi na naawa si Sister sa mga ordinaryong tao na nasa audience na
hindi naman makapag differentiate kung ano ang theory, kung ano ang
speculations o hypothesis, kung ano ang revealed truths, at kung ano
ang masturbated ideas o mental calisthenics lang. Para sa mga
ordinaryong tao, pag lumabas sa bibig ni Sister Madre, truth and facts
yun. Kaya pagkatapos ng seminar umuwi ang mga ordinaryong taong ito
na surely magpapakabusog na sila lagi sa saging at hindi na nila

25

sasawayin si bunso pag laging nakalambitin o gustong umakyat sa puno,

o siguro hindi na sila magdadamit at magiging komportable na sila sa
pag weerrr, weeerr, hweeek, hweek, weeet, weeeek wok wak wak.
Unggoylandia! Ungguyan na! Kaya pala marami sa kamadrehan ni Sister
ang hindi na nagbebelo kasi hindi nga naman nagbebelo ang mga
unggoy. Now I understand.
Crazy world. Is she and her group an exception? Email me.
Actually, eto ang sabi ni Cardinal Manning (Henry Edward Cardinal
Manning, dating Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster) sa kanyang aklat
na Religio Vitatoris:
Over and above all the violent absurdities of planetary, spontaneous,
and Bathybiotic cosmogonies, the true indictment against the theory of
mans descent from the ape is, that it is unscientific, unphilosophical,
and based upon an inadequate and therefore an illusory induction.
Illusory. Therefore, naka shabu lang si Sister LiderMadre? Nag-iilusyon
lang. Or nagmamayabang lang para mapansin na intellectual siya at
politically-correct.
Ano ba talaga Kuya? Etong madreng ito o si Cardinal Manning. Hindi
pwedeng pareho silang tama. Isa sa kanila ang sure na mali. Ano ba
talaga, Kuya? Madre kontra Cardinal!

26

ANONG TAKTIKA NG DIABLO KAYA NAGKAGANITO ANG

KAMADREHAN?
ULIT! ANONG TAKTIKA NG DIABLO KAYA NAGKAGANITO ANG
KAMADREHAN?
Anong taktika ng Diablo? Eto. Ininfiltrate na muna ang mga sikat na
theological centers of learning. Nag implant ng mga Modernist
professors doon, awaiting for the coming of the droves of nuns and
madres to study there. Awaiting sila ha. Then yung ibang pwersa naman
ng Diablo, eto ginawa, they agitated the madres na nananahimik sa mga
kumbento, telling them kayo inaalila lang kayo ng mga pari at obispo,
kayo ay may mga dignidad, may mga dangal bilang kababaihan, magaral kayo, you empower yourselves with knowledge, empower
yourselves like girl-power hippies, the NEW KNOWLEDGE WILL
EMPOWER YOU, GO TO THEOLOGICAL SCHOOLS AND DEEPEN YOUR
UNDERSTANDING. Nataranta naman ang kanilang mga superiors, ayun,
they sent some of them sa mga theological centers na merong mga
awaiting na mga modernist professors. SWAK, SINALO SILANG LAHAT.
NASILO AT WALANG KAWALA. Tinuruan ng theological rebellions.
Bumalik sa kanilang congregations ang mga nacontaminate na mga
madreng ito and itinuloy nila ang contamination. Yun, and the rest is
history. Sana mali ako. Sana nga mali ako. Sana haka-haka ko lang ito at
isang malagim na panaginip ko lang. Sana. Sana. Sana. Mga Kaluluwa sa
Purgatoryo, sana!

27

PAGTRIPAN NAMAN NATIN ANG MGA HOMILY NG PARI. BAKIT

PAGKATAPOS MA HIGH SA MAGAGANDANG HOMILY AT
MAPANGANGA SA MALALALIM NA KATURUAN NILA, AY BALIK PA RIN
SA DATING MASAMANG UGALI ANG KANILANG AUDIENCE?
Patango-tango sa pag agree ang mga tao sa simbahan. Yung iba,
palingon-lingon pa para humanap ng kaparehong patango-tango rin.
Pero ang natutunan nila sa simbahan ay MADI DILUTE LANG PAG
NAHALO NA SA IBANG IDEYA SA LABAS NG SIMBAHAN. Na para bang ok
Father, ok bishops, ok cardinal, ok Pope Francis kinilig kami sa iyong
spiritual talks, pero sorry ha kasi your inputs are just one of the many
feeling good ideas floating around. Equal in effect and equal in
intensity lang po yan katulad ng ibang feeling-good ideas, katulad ng
mga sinasabi rin ni Dalai Lama na compassion compassion. We can
mix some, we can experiment on some, we can critic, we can chop-chop
and mix like other salad of ideas, but sorry talaga ha we cannot
absolutely obey you because those holy words of yours ARE JUST ONE
OF THE MANY GOOD IDEAS FLOATING AROUND. Parang mga combo
meals lang sa Jollibee o sa mga eat-all-you-can resto. Pipili ka ng gusto
mo, what suits your taste, e mix mo sa iba, again what suits your
individual taste. Yan ang nangyayari pag uwian na. Yan ang nangyayari
pagkatapos ma-high sa mga homily. Pag sa labas na, balik na sa
relativistic mode ang lahat. (Kaya personally, bilib ako sa kilala kong
Monsignor A.M, si Monsignor pag nag hohomily talagang dinideclare
nya talaga na hoy, makinig kayo lahat, Salita ito ng Diyos, ang Diyos na
naglikha sa iyo, ang Diyos na pinako sa Krus dahil sa pagmamahal sayo.
Makinig, kasi hindi mo ito maririnig sa mga kumpare mo, sa mga
kasabungan mo, o sa mga katsismisan mo. )

28

Which means, hanggang hindi kino-confront at ginigiba ng Simbahan

ang RELATIVISM NA NAKA DEFAULT MODE SA PALIGID walang
mangyayari sa mga evangelizations. Kasi, ulitin ko, idi-dilute, isasawsaw
at ibababad lang sa relativism ng mga tao ang kung ano mang itinuturo
ng Simbahan. So wa epek. Kung sa ahas, nawawalan ng kamandag ang
Katuruan. Diluted na. Kung sa gamot, wabisa. Kung sa paputok, SUPOT.
Hindi naipupulupot, hindi naipanghahampas, hindi nakakabuwal ng
problema ang katuruan ng Simbahan, kasi dahil sa gumagalang
Dambuhalang Monster Na Relativism. Pagdududa ang naghahari at ang
depende sa dependeng pag-iisip ang nagrereyna.
(NOTE: but if Relativism/Modernism is from the Devil, no amount of
clever human effort can demolish it, we need prayers, we need to be
devoted too to our Mother Mary and to the Eucharist to win this battle)
THE CURE SANA IS SIMPLY TO DECLARE THAT THE WORDS OF GOD (IN
THE GOSPEL) AS UNDERSTOOD DOCTRINALLY BY THE CATHOLIC
CHURCH ARE ABSOLUTE TRUTHS DEMANDING OBEDIENCE. Pero,
parang ayaw din ni Pope Francis ng ganitong style e. That is why
relativism is rampant. That is why namamayagpag ang depende sa
depende na mga pag-iisip at kung sa espada ay nagiging mapurol at
hindi makahiwa ang mga katuruan ng Simbahan.
AGAIN, THE CURE SANA IS SIMPLY TO DESTROY THIS RELATIVISM
THROUGH THE CATHOLIC SCHOOLS AND UNIVERSITIES. Pero Catholic
schools and universities pa nga ang nagpopropagate nito subtly or
actively, through the seemingly glorious, unerring, most impeccable,
non erratic, immaculately can-never-be-wrong na standard for
academic truth = The New God called Academic Freedom.
ASTIG VOCABULARY LESSON: Relativism ay ang paniniwala na ang lahat
ay nagbabago, lahat ay depende sa sitwasyon, lahat ay walang
permanenteng katotohanan, kaya lahat ay anything goes lang, walang
absolute truth .. walang something to cling on, kasi lahat ay depende sa
depende.

29

NABABALIW NA TALAGA ANG MUNDO, KASI KAHIT ANG

PANANAMPALATAYA AY HINDI RIN NAIPOPOSISYON NG MAAYOS.
Kung sa marketing, ang tawag dito ay positioning, and not being
able to rationally position oneself even in the secular world is a form
of theological awkwardness. In the distracted minds and hearts of
Pinoy Catholics mas nakakaposition ng maayos ang Entertainment
Industry!
Notice kung gaano and paano ginawang ALTAR ng mga Katoliko ang TV.
The TV is at the center of their lives in their homes. And during idle
moments hindi Rosary ang hawak, kundi laptops, gadgets and
cellphones. Ang iba nga nakakatulugan pa yata na nakahalik sa kanilang
mga cellphones. Walang Lectio Divina, no divine and holy readings,
lahat ay abala sa pagbabasa ng mga booklets with ridiculous timewasting titles like Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo? Sabi nga ni
Chesterton (o ni Fulton Sheen?), man has always sacrificed the eternal,
for the sake of the fleeting now. In this world gone truly mad, The True
Faith which is supposed to build and sustain a sane world, cannot even
position itself properly. Saan patungo ang mundong ito? Paano
magpakabanal sa mundong ito na gumiwang ang Totoong
Pananampalataya, pasuray-suray ang mga katuruan, at isinasawsaw ng
mga tao sa Relativism ang mga doktrina.

30

SO, PAANO NGA MAGPAKABANAL SA GANITO KABALIW NA MUNDO?

Ok, let us first classify our readers. YOU!
1. Katolikong Tulog
2. Katolikong Dilat Pero Anti-Catholic at Rebelde
3. Katolikong Dedma at Walang Paki. Nagbabasa ng ebook na to pr
maentertain. Akala siguro, si Bennet ay si Bob Ong.
Pero, teka lang, konting trivia. Sa kakasaliksik ko na hindi sinasadya.
Another trivia within a trivia, nagsasaliksik na hindi sinasadya, pwede ba
yun? Pwede! Hindi kasi ako researcher na parang formal research talaga
ha na pang PhD. When I research, I read 15 simultaneous books and
ebooks of different and extremely contradicting titles (have you tried
reading sabay a book on Ornamental Plants and a book on Discrete
Mathematics? Matagal ko nang ginagawa yan). Now back to the original
trivia.
The original trivia that I stumbled on is this: Yung NonCatholic na BibleStudy Groupings ay laging masaya sa kanilang prayer service kasi ang
kanilang activity ay parang laging recollections and retreats, puro
sharing. Masaya nga naman! Pero what makes the Catholic Holy Mass
unique and different from them? Stick sila at paikot-ikot lang sa Word of
God (the Bible), parang kung sa restaurant ay puro basa lang sila ng
menu. Tuwang tuwa sila sa menu, kwentuhan sila tungkol sa menu pero
hindi sila kumakain. Sa Catholic Holy Mass, may menu na, may meal
pa. Diyos pa ang kinakain. (ok, interesado ka? Not here. Not now. I will
write muna an ebook about the Catechism of the Catholic Church
gagawin kong komedi ang doktrina para mag-enjoy tayong lahat. I can
Knowledgearchitect and Faithengineer the CCC to give you my wacky
simplified version of it. Para in a kwela and rockin manner ay
maunaawan natin ang CCC and we all can be better persons, loyal and
faithful Catholics. Magiging Semper Fidelis tayo sa ating mahal na
simbahan. Give me a month for that! Learn to wait, mga fans ko).

31

SA MGA KATOLIKONG TULOG

Katoliko kang gising dati na aantok-antok. Then nakatulog ka na talaga
at naghihilik pa, eto gigisingin kita with ASTIG REASONS WHY YOU MUST
WAKE UP AS AN EXCITED CATHOLIC, AND WHY YOU MUST RUN TO THE

ALRIGHT, MAGING
ASTIG AT LOYAL NA KATOLIKO NA AKO!
NEAREST ROOFTOP AND DECLARE:

(in fairness to all, you can be holy without being a Catholic, but for
personal clarity reasons, here are the reasons why you can be
REASONABLE-HOLY PRECISELY BECAUSE YOU ARE A CATHOLIC. By the
way, sa mga naliligaw na readers, ang ebook pong ito ay para sa mga
Katoliko. Kung hindi ka Katoliko, gumawa ka ng sarili mong Ebook at
magsulat ka para sa iyong sariling fans club. If Satanista ka, e di ang title
ng ebook mo ay Kung Paano Maging Banal at Satanista Pa Rin. Yan ang
first lesson sa mga they-do-not-know-themselves-really-and-nopersonal-clarity na mga unfree Freethinkers. Mga Freethinkers,
magsulat kayo ng pilosopiya nyo at ilatag ito na may buong kumpletong
paglalahad bilang isang buong aklat (minimum of 777 pages, font is
Helvetica 9 points, walang pictures, puro texts lang) hindi yung pareactreact lang kayo in paragraphs and pa slo-slogan lang. Tingnan ko lang
kung magkasya ang inyong freethinking philosophy sa 777 pages. Logical
ha, yung may mga premise-premise type at merong mga if-then-else,
AND do it without attacking others ha. Just paglalahad lang, paglalatag
lang kung ano ba talaga yang pinagsisigawan ninyo, yang pinageeslogan
ninyong we are freethinking freethinkers and our philosophy is
dependent on the basis of free-flowing, unrestrained, all-free, nonfoundational, non-doctrinal, anything-goes na theory. Curious ako,
baka umabot lang kayo sa 77 pages, self-contradictions na lahat na
remaining 700 pages. At yung unang 77 pages ay puro lang we are
against this and we are against that and we define ourselves as we are
against this and that).

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Ok, to continue, ang mga sumusunod ang mga dahilan bakit ikaw ay
astig na KATOLIKO, AT KUNG BAKIT PWEDE KANG MAGPAKABANAL SA
MUNDONG NASISIRAAN NA NG BAIT.
Una sa lahat dapat tanggap mo ang mga sumusunod na prinsipyo:
I. A necessity of my reason constrains me to believe the existence of
God.
II. My moral sense, or moral reason, or conscience, constrains me to
believe that Godhas revealed Himself to me.
III. My reason and moral sense constrain me to believe that this
revelation is Christianity.
IV. My reason is convinced that historical Christianity is the Catholic
Faith.
Kung hindi mo tanggap ng buo ang mga kasasambit pa lang, hindi ka
Katoliko, wag mo nang ituloy ang pagbabasa.
PERO! Kung ako sayo, itutuloy ko pa rin kasi kung ako nga, 35 years nang
nagsasaliksik ng mga patungkol sa spiritual value systems ng mga
Chinese martial artists pero hindi naman ako nagiging intsik, hindi
naman ako nagiging si Ip Man, at lalong hindi naman ako nagiging
Taoist. Naiintindihan ko lang sila nang lubos. Hindi katulad mo
Freethinker, napakabata mo pa pero nagpaalipin at nagpakulong ka na
sa so-called freeflowinganythinggoes na thoughts mo at nagpakulong ka
na rin sa walang humpay na pag-atake sa Catholic Church na hindi mo
naman nauunawaan ng lubos ang mga doktrina, have you read
completely the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the original red one?
Of course not! Yung ibang pari at madre nga hindi, siempre lalo na ikaw,
sure yan. Pustahan pa tayo ng lomi sa Binondo. (Hello to Ivan Man Dy,
Ivan pakiabangan ang Ebook ko na Si Bonifacio at ang Mamasapano
Massacre)

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Para matapos na ang Ebook na ito. Ganito na lang. Ang I to III po na

nasambit ay beautifully explained by Cardinal Manning sa kanyang book
na Religio Viatoris. I can send you a scanned version of this classic book,
I got it free, Il give to you free. Email me or PM me sa Facebook and il
send the digitized Religio Viatoris to you. Sa mga Freethinkers, wag na,
kasi nga sa una (I) pa lang nagkakaproblema na kayo, so the easy, lazy
way out is to simply do what you usually do: which is to not believe in
any Designer of the Universe, in a God. Your moral sense din ay hindi
absolute, so paano kayo mag e if-then-else nyan?
So why go and request to know about the II, III, and IV? (ayan, para sa
mga Freethinkers na naliligaw rito at umabot na sa page na ito,
inarchitect at inengineer ko na ang knowledge, para hindi ka na
mahirapan. Sa madaling salita, if wala kang God, jump over na lang, skip
this part na lang, read mo na lang yung end part ng ebook na ito, yung
about this WRITER, some lil facts about Bennet, the writer and editor.
Jump, skip, then read that part now).
Etong pang apat (IV) ang matindi which states that My reason is
convinced that historical Christianity is the Catholic Faith. Dito
nagkakagulo ang mga research departments ng mga Protestante, Ito rin
ang iniiwasan ng mga Dating Daan at Iglesia ni Kristo. Kasi ano naman
ang kaugnayang-kasaysayan ng Dating Daan at INK sa first 300 years
history ng Christianity? E wala pa sila noon. I am talking about hard
facts, organizational facts, tangible facts of history ha.
Alam nyo ba na minsan si Jimmy Swaggart (tele-evangelist at author na
Protestante) ay naghamon sa mga Katolikong historians? Ito ang hamon
ni Jimmyboy: We would like to challenge the Catholic church to
demonstrate that the saints and martyrs of the first three hundred years
accepted the beliefs and practices of the Catholic Church as it (sic) exists
today ... All of the Early Church Fathers were evangelical and
Pentecostal and had no association with what is now recognized as the
Roman Catholic Church.
Har har har. May pumatol kay Jimmyboy. Hindi katoliko ang pumatol
(kasi sawa na nga ang mga Catholic Church historians sa paglelecture sa

34

mga ito, either kasi hard-headed o mga walang sense of history). Ulitin
ko, hindi katolikong historian ang pumatol sa challenge ni Jimmyboy.
Sino ang pumatol?
Ang pumatol ay si Tim Staples, na pareho niyang Protestante. Eto ang
sabi ni Tim Staples sa book na Surprised by Truth, I intensified my study
of the early Church Fathers. If the Catholic Church was the fourthcentury syncretistic invention of Emperor Constantine, as Jimmy
Swaggart taught and as I had always believed, perhaps the writing of
the earliest Christian theologians and apologists would clear up my
Catholic delusions. This was my last hope.
I took Jimmy Swaggarts challenge. I acquired a copy of J.B Lightfoots
The Apostolic Fathers and devoured it. I went to the library on campus
and began to study the lives and works of other Fathers of the Church,
reading their writings in the original Greek and checking their
theological arguments against what the Greek text of Scripture said. I
researched all of the early councils of the Church. To my dismay, all I
found was Catholic truth. I could not believe Brother Jimmy could have
read what I read and issued his challenge. The writings of the Church
Fathers clearly show that the early Church was Catholic long before the
time of the Emperor Constantine (Tim Staples, Surprised by Truth, ed.
Patrick Madrid, Basilica Press, 1994, 216).
Simula noon, hindi na naghahamon si Jimmy Swaggart, kasi lalo lang
dumadami ang nakaconvert galing sa kanyang kampon papunta o
pabalik o pauwi sa Roman Catholic Church.

35

Ganito kasi talaga ang dynamics nyan, kapag Katoliko ka at nagresearch

ka ng konti at nakinig ka sa TV o radio o nagpa-asar ka kay Danton
Remoto at Carlos Celdran, naku sure ball yan, magiging protestante ka o
iglesia ni kristo o dating daan o Freethinker. Pero if you dig more
(independently!), research more (without asking permission from your
fellows), dig and dig more to research more pa as in more pa, and
even read the original languages (in latin, greek, hebrew, aramaic) of
original books babalik at uuwi ka rin sa pagiging Roman Catholic.
Curious lang ako, saang level of research kaya umabot sa pagsasaliksik
ang mga Freethinkers? Siguro hanggang sa mga libro ni Danton Remoto.
SA MGA KATOLIKONG DILAT PERO NAGING ANTI-CATHOLIC
Simple lang. Bukod sa Relativism at Modernism, pinagmumultuhan AT
SINASANIBAN ka ng mga sumusunod na dead yet interesting na mga
philosophers kaya ka naging AntiCatholic. Sumanib sa brain cells mo
ang mga kaisipan ng mga philosophers na paguusapan natin dito. O
nagpa-apekto ka nang hindi mo nalalaman kaya na contaminate ang
pure Catholic faith mo, pinanghinaan ka at naging nominal Catholic ka,
paligoy-ligoy, walang direksyon, sunod lang sa kung saang agos na
parang water lily sa dagat-dagatan ng mga ibat ibang religious
convictions (may convictions ba, o sadyang against this against that
lang)
Sinu-sino ang mga multo at sanib na ito? Sila ay sina:

THE DEAD PHILOSOPHERS SOCIETY

Nietzsche (hinayupaks na pangalang to, hirap espilingin), Freud, Kant,
Karl Marx, Machiavelli, at Sartre.
Sanib sayo ni Nietzsche (hirap talagang itype ang pangalang to, kahit
kokopyahin na lang di mo pa rin madale on the first time): Patay na ito
year 1900 pa, pero buhay sa iyong brain cells ang sanib niya. Wala nang
debate, sabi niya mismo ito: Ako na ang AntiChrist. Kaya pala mahirap
siyang ispilingin. Ito sabi nya, "I will now disprove the existence of all

36

gods. If there were gods, how could I bear not to be a god?

Consequently, there are no gods." Duwag na sinungaling itong si
Nietzsche, tagabitbit lang siya ng stretcher sa giyera pero ang pa-cute
nya sa mga tsiks nya ay magiting na artillery man daw siya. His words,
why not live a lie? Si Nietzsche ay miserableng namatay na baliw sa
isang asylum, may sakit na syphilis, at sure na hindi na niya ma-spell ang
kanyang pangalan. Ingat ka dyan sa sanib mo.

Sanib sayo ni Freud: Patay na si Freud year 1939 pa, pero nandyan siya
sa iyo, kumakalabit lagi. Kung bakit may Playboy at bakit may FHM, si
Freud ang may kagagawan nyan. Siya ang nagsabi na free your libido,
free your sexual urges. Kahit poste ng Meralco pwedeng yariin, kahit
mga manok, baka, centipede, buwaya, aso, hippotamus (suhulan mo
yung taga Manila Zoo), Shihtzu! Magtakbuhan na kayo, eto na si Freud,
yayariin kayo sa puwet, sa tenga, sa ilong, kahit saan basta masarap at
mairaos lang ang nagrerebolusyong libog. No gender. No class. No
genus. No species. Kahit ano. Kahit sino, bagay man, o tao, o hayop
pwedeng magyarian. Siguro sa panaginip ng mga taga Freethinkers,
kahit TV at flat-iron pwedeng magyarian. Bisikleta, niyayari ang Bangka!
The sexual revolution. Nagulat ka pagdaan mo sa isang kindergarten
school, umaga, nagyayarian ang mga kinder! Rebolusyong Kalibugan!
Kanya din ba ang Freudian Slip? Ingat ka dyan sa sanib mo. (sa reader,
ikaw, download ka ng libreng mp3 blues song na Good Morning Little
School Girl by Johnny Lang, then play mo paulit-ulit, then enjoy mong
basahin etong mga sanib na ito). Sa Amerika may mga organisasyon na
LittleBoyLovesOldMan and LittleBoyLovesHisLittleBrother (ok lang daw
basta hindi nasasaktan, kasi pag may nasaktan lang daw magkakaroon
ng violation of childrens rights). Weird.

Sanib sayo ni Kant: Patay na si Kant 1804 pa, pero kinukulit ka pa rin,
kasi ininvite mo siya minsan. Siya ang nagpa-uso na ang truth ay
depende sa depende. Pinag-divorce ni Kant ang Faith and Reason. Para
kay Kant, ang relihiyon ay hindi maaaring gamitan ng reason dahil ang
religion ay feelings-based lang. Sa kanya nanggaling ang pag feel mo,
gawin mo. Dito nagbabad kay Kant ang mga makabagong Religious

37

Educators sa ngayon na mahilig sa Pop Psychology. Tiyak, ang sarap nga

naman ng buhay lalo kapag nagcombi-meal ka ng Freud-Kant. Baka puro
Kant ang gagawin mo maghapon. Feel mo ang sanib mo?
Sanib sayo ni Karl Marx: Patay na si Marx 1883 pa, pero may iniwan
siyang souvenir sa puso mo noong aktibista ka pa, o napabarkada ka sa
mga kumikilos. Siya ang bagong Moses, na maraming binigo. Siya ang
bagong Moses pero ayaw niya kay Moses, meron kasi siyang sariling
bible: The Communist Manifesto. Para kay Marx, walang love puro
versus lang. Para kay Marx, lahat ng isyu at problema ay nag-uugat sa
economics. Halimbawa, paggising mo sa umaga, makapal kulangot mo,
pangit kasi ang economics mo kahapon. Halimbawa naman, sinagot ka
ng crush mo, wow, siguro maayos kasi ang tunggalian ng economic
discussions ninyo. Basta lahat ay economics. Actually di naman orig kay
Marx kung paano naging Marx si Marx. Naipamana lang sa kanya ni
Hegel ang Monism, Pantheism, Historicism, Dialectics, Fatalism, Statism,
at Economic Reductionism. Kung medyo sobra kang busy at gusto mo
quick na sanib, parang buy-one-take-many kay Marx ka na. Marami
nang sanib, parang All-In-One. Total Package. At kapag lagi kayong
nagmi-meetups sure yan na itong All-In-One Combi-Boodle Sanibs ang
nasa sainyo.
Sanib sayo ni Machiavelli: Patay na si Machiavelli 1527 pa, langya! Ito
ang pinakamatagal nang patay sa kanilang lahat, pero nandyan siya sayo
bilang thought-zombie sa kamalayan mo. Siya ang nagpakalat ng New
Morality. Praktikal lang itong si pareng Nicolo Machiavelli. Kaya kapag
parang lagi mong nagagamit ang salitang praktikal, si Machiavelli ang
sumanib sa iyo. Praktikal lang siya, kaya ganun. Actually, praktikal din
lang ako, bakit, anong pakialam nila sa akin sila ba ang nagpapakain
sa akin? Praktikal lang ako, bah! Abah! Kapag hindi ka nandaya, paano
ka mananalo? Sige nga, maging praktikal ka. Gutom ka pag hindi ka
praktikal. Praktikal ka na dapat sa panahon ngayon. Yan, yan si
Machiavelli sa loob mo! Simula 1527, hindi mamatay-matay ang
thought-zombie na ito.

38

Sanib sayo ni Sartre: Patay na si Sartre 1980 pa lang, kaya fresh na fresh
pa na thought-zombie ito sa loob mo. He is the Apostle of Absurdity. Ito
rin ang pinakasikat na atheist. Paano mo malalaman kung may
SartreSanib ka? Eto. Kung may hindi ka maipaliwanag na angst against
sa ibang tao as in, na hindi mo maipaliwanag talaga. Wala lang, basta
overcritical ka lang. Pintas ka nang pintas. Basta bad trip ka kapag
pinapakialaman ka ng iba. Basta kapag ang ibang tao ay tinatakan mo na
ng iba ay automatic impierno na feeling mo sa kanila, AYAN SI SARTRE
SA BUHAY MO. Nagsulat si Sartre ng play o drama na ang title ay No
Exit (parang ito yata ang nag-inspire dun sa movie na The Cube, at iba
pang mga movie na nagpapatunay na people left to themselves will kill
and destroy each other while solving a certain puzzle, parang tipong The
Lottery o Hunger Games?) and in this play the conclusion is hell is other
people. Kay Sartre din yung kapag feeling mo ay absurd ang lahat,
walang kwenta ang lahat. Ang lahat ay isang malaking kalokohan at
katarantaduhan lang. At ikaw ay sukang-suka sa absurdity ng lahat. Yan
si Sartre. Malapit sa suicide ang SartreSanib. Mag-ingat.
Wala ni isang Pilipino sa mga philosophers na ito. Kaya malabong
kamag-anak natin sila. Hindi ka nila kilala at wala silang pakialam sayo.
Ni wala ka nung libing nila at surely hindi sila makikipaglibing kapag
bangkay ka na. Malabo ring nautangan sila ng lolo o lola mo. Pero bakit
nagpapaapekto tayo sa mga kaisipan nila?
Ang mga Kastila na nagdala ng Katolisismo sa lupain natin, abusado
yung iba. Katulad din naman ng Pilipino, abusado rin. Mga sira-ulo at
malilibog katulad ni Padre Damaso. Pero tayong Pilipino, may mga siraulo din at malilibog at manyakis pa. Yung nahuli nga sa Cavite, na
feature pa sa TV, nang-rape ng Cavitenyong baka! Pure Pinoy yun sa
hitsura na lang. E mga Kastila, may Kastila na ba noong panahon ng
mga Kastila sa Pilipinas na nang-rape ng Pilipinong baka o taga
Tondong kambing? Wala. So, pare-pareho tayong makasalanan. Parepareho tayong may mga sanib. Pero, yung mga philosophers na
nabanggit dito ay walang kinalaman sa ating pagiging Pilipino, e bakit
tayo ay nasunod sa zombiethoughts nila? Buti pa mga Kastila, binigyan
tayo ng mga magagandang tisay at mga gwapong tisoy katulad ni

39

Carlos Celdran. Si Danton Remoto, di tisoy, promise yan. Tisay siya. No!
hindi rin. Tisoay.
Salamat sa mga Kastila. Salamat sa mga Kastilang nagdala ng
Katolisismo sa ating bayan. Sandali lang, maiba ako, itong Padre
Damasong ito ay nakakagulo talaga, kung bakit naman kasi si Rizal ay
hindi niya talaga inaydentify kung sino-sino talaga ang mga real people
na yun na nasa nobela nya. DAPAT NAGPUBLISH DIN SIYA NG
TEACHERS-GUIDE NA NAAAYON SA AKING NOLI AT FILI, MGA LISTA NG
MGA PANGALAN NG MGA TOTOONG TAO SA LIKOD NG MGA
KUNWARIANG KWENTO. And tutal, inescript din lang naman ni Rizal
ang buhay niya, expected nyang mamamatay siya sooner bakit kaya
hindi na lang niya ginawang non-fiction documentary na pakwento style
ang Noli Me Tangere at El Filibusterismo? Bakit gumamit pa siya ng
fictionalized story? Para style? O baka naman kapos din siya sa datos!
Duwag siya? Hindi, nagpabaril nga na nakangiti. Hindi lang talaga
humingi ng advice si Rizal sa akin noon kaya tayo nagkakaproblema
ngayon.
Baka naman yung 30% ng Noli at Fili ay inimagine na lang nya, na tayo
naman ay nasisiraan ng ulo sa seryosong pagaanalisa. Parang identified
sana kung sino yung sino. Once and for all, can Carlos Celdran really
research and gave us names? Name names of all those who are anak
talaga ng mga paring Kastila. And sandali lang, ang lahat ba na
prayleng kastila ay paring kastila?
MAHALAGANG NOTICE: Nagiging katawa-tawa man ang mga
philosophers na ito, ay mahirap din namang husgahan ang kanilang
pagkatao at kaluluwa. Ayon sa katuruan ng Divine Mercy at bilang
Katoliko, hindi natin alam kung ano ang nasa kanilang mga kamalayan
noong mga few minutes or few seconds na lang at mamamatay na sila.
(Ano kayang ginagawa ni Nietzsche nung nababaliw na siya, inaanalisa
nya tae nya? O ginawa nyang bolpen ang kanya at sa pamamagitan ng
ihi ay isinusulat nya I AM MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOUR GOD.) Yung
good thief nga na last minute nakapako rin sa krus was able to steal
heaven dahil nahabag sa kanya si Jesus. God is a merciful God. At siguro,
well-intentioned naman sila at siguro produkto din lang sila ng kanilang

40

panahon. Pero eto, no joke talaga, sure ako na nung mabaliw na si

Nietzsche hindi na niya alam kung paano ispilingin ang name nya. Trivia:
ang totoong pangalan ni che guevarra ay hindi nietzsChe Guevarra.
Ernesto.
SA MGA KATOLIKONG DILAT PERO DEDMA AT WALANG PAKI
Bakit umabot kayo sa page na ito? Mahirap kayong kausap. Waste of
space to explain to you something kasi dedma nga at walang paki at
hindi naman rebellious against the Faith. Nakakainis, hindi mo maasar.
Paano ba asarin ang deadma, Pope Francis? Pero curious lang ako, bakit
umabot kayo sa kababasa ng ebook na ito up to this page? Email or
Facebook PMessage me your answer ha.
ANO NAMAN PALA ANG DAPAT GAWIN PARA DUMAMI ANG MGA
SEMINARISTA AT MGA MAGMAMADRE?
First and foremost is to pray and really to always pray, especially yung
Prayer for Vocations. Ayaw ng Diablo na maraming mga seminarista at
mga magmamadre at dahil clever siya than humans, kailangan talagang
nagpipray ang mga humans to ask the grace of God. Now the following
are the human side naman of the equation. What to do on the human
and common sense side. Ready, get set, continue read.
Second. Wimpy ang ads e. Kaya mga wimpies, seekers of worldly
comforts din ang naaatract, mga nakimbot. Ano ang tama at dapat? Eto:
Priesthood is like joining the SEALS and the RANGERS. You sweat, you
bleed, you be wounded, you fight, you protect and defend, you will die
for your Faith! That is why it is only for the few, the humble, the priests.
Third. STOP THOSE WACKY ADVERTISEMENTS. Na para bang you want
seminary-applicants to join a Seminary of cool hippie folks na magtatayo
ng flower-people-movement-to-launch-another Woodstock Hippie Rock
Concert on Earth then pag bangag na pupunta sa dagat at pilit
kakausapin ang mga balyena at dolphins. The Entertainment New Age
Church.

41

Fourth. GIVE THE YOUTHS SOMETHING TO LIVE AND DIE FOR.

Something they will sacrifice for, something they will bleed for,
something na papanindigan nila hanggang sa huling hininga nila.
Challenge them. Liken becoming a priest to climbing the Mount Everest!
Liken becoming a priest to joining the Sea Air Land Commandos (SEALs),
the Rangers, the Special Forces, the French Foreign Legion, the Special
Air Service (SAS)! By the way, ang isa sa mga favs ko na Catholic Saint ay
si Blessed Charles de Foucauld, astig na Ex-French Foreign Legionnaire.
Surely, hindi siya kilala ni Carlos the Jackol. Ang kilala ni Carlos ay si
Danton Remoto FF Legionnaire. Ano ang FF? Farang Female.
Kasi tingnan mo, bakit sumasali sa fraternity ang mga youths,
nagpapahampas sa paddle na halos ikamatay nila. Kasi, they seek
something beyond their limited self, they seek something to live and die
for, a brotherhood, a sisterhood, bonded and bounded by oaths and
pledges and rituals and symbols and tattoos and mystery and history
and great heroic stories and sacraments! Meron din namang ganyan
sana sa Catholic Church, pero the modernists mocked it as traditional
na baduy, traditional na hindi maka-adjust sa modern times. See the
effect? Glance at the grim statistics again. Yan ang result nang maging
anti-traditional na ang Church. Iniwasan na siya ng mga astig-ranger
material na mga youths. Na attract niya yung mga nakimbot. Dont get
me wrong ha, for all dapat talaga ang Church, nakimbot man o straight.
Pero por diyos por santo naman, priesthood is soldiering for Christ.
Personally, I have a great respect for Fratmen kasi they have a great
respect for oaths, principles, symbols, sacraments and rituals. Sana
mga Fratmen-material ang pumasok sa mga seminaryo. Sana sila ang
mga magpapari.
What is faith for? It is about eternal life, more than and beyond this life
on earth. So sublime! So heroic! GIVE OUR YOUTHS THAT KIND OF
CHALLENGE. THEY WILL LOVE IT. THEY WILL KNOCK ON YOUR SEMINARY
GATES AND DO THEIR VERY BEST TO BELONG THERE INSIDE. Para yang
mga newbie regular soldiers na tulo-laway sa gates ng Ranger and SEALs
bootcamps. Wishing to enter, submitting themselves to the hardcore
drill sergeant and combat instructors (pwera hazing ha, di pwede ang

42

hazing) and enjoying the sweat, tears and the bleeding. Of course, the
grace of God must be present all the time, but what I am trying to say
here is HOW TO MOVE THESE YOUTHS! HOW TO MOBILIZE THESE
YOUTHS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CHURCH AND TO LIVE AND DIE FOR
IT.
Ang mga madre, saan naman magre-recruit ng mga newbie secondliners? Sa mga rock concerts! Sa mga caf at bar na merong rock bands.
Maraming mga taga UP diliman dyan na naghahanap ng Diyos. Ano?
Hindi ka magsusuot ng pagkamadre mo? Isuot mo! Maki-jam ka habang
nakabelo. Just maintain your composure and holiness ha. Wag ka
slambang. Wag ka headbang. Wag ka flash ng beast sign.
Or, pwede naman sa mga Catholic schools magrecruit, kausapin mo
agad yung merong may pinakamalutong na putang-ina sa dulo ng bawat
namumutawing sentence. Hindi ka mahihirapan, marami sila, promise.
Nakikiusap ang inner self ng mga yan, parang sinasabi nasaan ang
Diyos, nasaan ang Diyos, mga putang-ina ninyong lahat, ipakita nyo sa
akin ang Diyos, putang ina! wala sa inyo ang Diyos, wala wala wala
depress na ako, nasaan ang milktea na may cyanide?
Madre ka, hoy ikaw na nagbabasa madre ka, eto gawin mo: dahan
dahan lumapit ka, sabihin mo, nene, ipakikilala ko sayo ang Diyos
pero hindi puta ang ina ko, hindi puta ang ina mo, walang puta ang ina
rito, at hindi puta si Virgin Mary . Wag kang pabebe.
ANO NAMAN ANG DAPAT GAWIN NG MGA ANTI-KATOLIKO?
Mag-aral kayong mabuti. No, wag sa mga theological centers o schools
of theology, mahal dun at surely maliligaw ka lang. Mga Freethinkers din
na professors ang makakasalamuha mo sa mga theological centers.
Maghanap ka naman ng ibang kausap! Sa Internet dre, nagkalat ang
pros and cons ng lahat. Dapat may IQ ka lang para ma digest mo ang
mga nagbabangganganggangbanggaang ideas (hirap pag tagalog, eto na
lang conflicting ideas, opposing ideas). Basahin mo ang all sides,
multisided side yan dre parang polygon, multigon. The trouble with
you, puro mga reference materials lang na ibinato sayo ng Freethinkers

43

ang binabasa mo, tingnan nyo Library nyo sa Freethinkers, iisa ang
sinasabi, na ang lahat ay depende sa depende. Akala ko ba free ang
thoughts mo, bakit puro reference materials ng mga katropa mo ang
binabasa mo? Ah, may tinatakasan kang guilt somewhere in your past
and somehow gusto mong e-deny? Takot ka sa sarili mong multo? Takot
ka rin sa dilim when alone, pustahan tayo. Hindi ka tatantanan nyan.
Guilt will haunt you for the rest of your life. Guilt will stalk you until your
last breath in your deathbed. Ang mga barkada mong endless
searchers of truth, never finders, kasi evaders of the Truth nasa
deathbed mo din kaya, comforting you?
Curious lang ako, if nagkagipitan o nagkarumble o nagkasunog o
nagkalindol intensity 9.9 magkakatulungan kaya ang mga Freethinkers?
O magkakaripasan lang ng takbo? Anong proofs and evidences na ang
mga Freethinkers will live and die for each other for the sake of
something beyond depende sa depende, a supreme good, an absolute
truth, an ideal, a never-changing ideal. Meron ba sa history? Dalawa o
tatlo o apat na Freethinkers who died heroically for each other, in the
name of a supreme reason? PROOFS NYO! NASAAN, KELAN, ILAN SILA,
ILANG SPAN OF DECADES OR CENTURIES NA NILANG GINAGAWA, SINUSINO SILA?
Name them. Datos! Hard facts! Supply the world with data and
information about this. Kung wala, there is nothing there in your
meetups, except the good coffee and how to perfect the art of
bashing the Catholic Church. In short, can Freethinkers sacrifice their
lives for the sake of freethinking? And curious din ako, any national
hero in any country in the whole world na naging hero because his/her
guiding philosophy in life is freethinking? ANY? GIVE US NAMES.
O sige na, wala. Martyrs na lang, even if for the right or wrong reasons,
meron na bang mga namatay na pinaninindigan nila ang kanilang
freethinking thoughts? Na para bang nagsisisigaw na ok lang that I
will die for this, I offer my everything, all my life, all my fucking life to
thisto this yes in the name of this this freethinking! If wala,
anong ginagawa nyo sa mga meetups nyo? Again, mastering the art of
bashing the Catholic Church?

44

Go up this page, choose the name of your sanibs, the marks and
influence of your sanibs. Name combi-sanibs. Pag feel mo lagi ang gusto
mong gawin Kant-Kant purist Kant ang sanib mo, kasi puro kant din
lang ang gusto nyong gawin.
On your perpetual bashing of the Catholic Church, do not fight against
something that you do not fully understand. Do not shout your heads
off against something that you dont fully understand. Basahin mo muna
entirely ang Mere Christianity then basahin mo ng buo ang Catechism of
the Catholic Church, yung red book ha, wag yung pinoy or tagalog
translated. Yung orig. Gusto mo, yung Baltimore pa. O yung Aquinas
Catechism, then bumalik ka sa akin. SAKA TAYO MAG-USAP NG
MATINO. Kung tamad kang mag aral ng mga doktrina, mag beer na lang
tayo at mag blues. Eanalyze na lang natin ang Rock History o kung bakit
sikat ang Parokya ni Edgar kahit boring same chords lang ang ginagamit
nila at kinahoy lang nila sa ibang old rock songs ang kanilang mga
redundant na kinakanta pero bakit sikat sila. This deserves another
Ebook.

The trouble really is that TAMAD MAGSALIKSIK ANG LUMALABAN SA

MGA KATOLIKO.
PERO, the greater trouble is that TAMAD DING MAGSALIKSIK ANG MGA
LAYKONG KATOLIKO.

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PAREHONG TAMAD. LABANAN NG MGA TAMAD. Carlos The Jackol and

his ilk are lazy to research what is the real and true theology and
catechism of the Catholic Church SO OUT OF SHEER IGNORANCE THEY
ARE ATTACKING WHAT THEY DO NOT REALLY KNOW AND THEY ARE
CRITICIZING WHAT THEY DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND. And the lazybrained lay catholics cannot also defend themselves. It is the classic the
weak fighting another weak kaya walang nananalo, both fighting a long
defeat. This is the STATE OF THE CHURCH, POPE FRANCIS. At hindi ang
compassion ni Dalai Lama ang solusyon dito kaya wag ninyo na po
siyang gayahin.
Magsipag naman sana at mag-isip ang mga lumalaban sa Catholic
Church. Wag yung puro kayo sloganeering. Mantakin mong may plakard
na take away your rosaries from our ovaries. Ano naman ang ibig
sabihin nyan? Sloganeering lang e. Mailabas lang ang angst. Halatang
may mga family problems lang e. May kaaway kayo sa pamilya nyo no?
Kalaban nyo mga tatay nyo no? ANGST. Mag blues and beer ka na lang
then pag nalasing ka, sumuko ka sa Diyos, solve yan. Puntahan mo
kaaway mo sa pamilya mo, makipag make peace ka. That way. That
way, magiging mas alright ka.
Sa mga congenital haters of the Catholic Church, sa mga galit pero hindi
nila alam kung bakit galit sila, mag hunus-dili kayu, mangamba,
manginig sa nerbiyos , read the following by St. Augustine.
St. Augustine says:
As long as the wheat groans among the straw, as long as the spikes of
wheat sigh among the cockle, as long as the vessels of mercy lament
among those of ire, as long as the lily sobs among the thorns, there will
always be enemies who say: when will she die and her name perish?
That is: see how there will come a time in which they will disappear and
there will no longer be Christians But, when they say this, they of
necessity die. And the Church remains.

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Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, si St. Augustine ang genius na tomador,

lasenggo, sugarol, numero-unong malibog at manyakis. Ang dakilang
rock and roller na naging Santo, na naging Banal.
Kaya, may pag-asa pa tayo mga dre.
I WILL END WITH THIS WORDS FROM FR. JOHN HARDON SJ. Di ko na
natranslate kasi baka madilute ko pa. Perfect. He said it perfectly. This is
the cure for the worry-wart Catholic. Worry warts! Sila ang mga
Katolikong Dilat, pero nagmamahal sobra sa Simbahan (katulad ko) pero
feeling helpless na sa mga kabaliwang nangyayari sa loob at labas ng
Simbahan.
BUTI NA LANG MAY FR. JOHN HARDON SJ
Here is Fr. John Hardon SJ. Bow!
ON GOD AS OUR HOPE
But Christ is especially our hope in the grace He is always pouring into
our hearts to give us the strength we do not have of ourselves to cope
with, I do not say the great trials of life, but even such minor problems
as putting up with a person who talks too much, (or writes too much,
like Bennet) or who acts on the impulse of the moment, or who forgets
to thank us for a favor received.
He is our hope because He is the almighty power of God who lives in the
center of our being, ever ready and always at hand to help us bear with
the crosses of our life, especially with the heaviest cross that we carry,
which is ourselves.
But we must do our part. Jesus is our hope, indeed, but we must trust
Him, and not belie by our actions what we profess with our lips. If we
trust Him, we shall distrust ourselves, which means we shall not worry,
because worry is a sign of reliance on self to the forgetfulness of God. If
we trust Him, we shall not be anxious, because anxiety is a sign of
expecting self to cope with difficulties that only God can overcome. If

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we trust Him, we shall not be sad, because sadness is a sign we still

think we are somehow running the world, that is, the little world we
occupy, whereas God is behind and beneath and beyond everything
that, as we thoughtlessly say, "happens" to us and in us. Christ is,
therefore, our hope because He is our only source of joy--now during
these few short years on earth and then for all eternity.
ON GOD AS OUR STRENGTH
So what does God do? To make sure we remain spiritually humble and
to protect us from our own folly, He permits our failures to plague us,
maybe to our dying day. He wants to keep us, moreover, constantly
aware of our need of Him, which concretely means constantly in touch
with Him by prayer.
True enough, He could not be closer to us. His nearness to us is beyond
description. No human person is as near to his friend, no wife to her
husband, and no child to its mother--even in the womb--as our God is to
us.
But God's closeness to us is no guarantee of our closeness to Him. We
can forget Him, be unmindful of Him and, in fact, ignore Him without
whose presence we would not even exist, let alone do anything
worthwhile on the path to eternal glory.
So, in order to make sure we do not forget Him, He permits our human
nature to assert itself. He lets us make fools of ourselves, in order to
have us turn to Him in frequent, childlike prayer, telling Him, "Lord, You
know me and You probe me. You know how helpless I am without You
and how much I need You."
We are humiliated in our own eyes, which is healthy, and we discover
what only the humble of heart can learn: that the foolishness of men is
the wisdom of God and the littleness of men is the greatness of God.
Then, what used to be, perhaps, only beautiful passages in the
Scriptures, become filled with meaning. Then we are ready to say, and

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know from experience how true it is, that when I am weak, then I am
strong because of the strength of Christ who abides in me.
Iniyakan ko ang sinulat na ito ni Barkadang Fr. John Hardon SJ. Iniyakan
ko promise habang nakikinig sa Eric Clapton song na The Sky is Crying.
Blues forever mga pre! Rock and Roll. Magdownload ka ng MP3 ng Sky
is Crying, pre then eplay mo then basahin mo ulit yung sa taas. The
sky is cryin, look at the tears rollin out the streets . Merong kang
mafe-feel. Sana. Ah alam ko na, madidistract ka kasi may lyrics yung
Clapton song na to. Yung For the Love of God na lang ni Steve Vai.
Solo instrumental yun.
Another trivia: nauso dati sa mga baliw na blues fans ang magsulat ng
graffiti sa mga walls, ito ang isinusulat ERIC IS GOD. Hindi pa naman ako
umaabot sa ganyan. So you readers are safe with me. But remember,
the quote about blues guitar? if it aint pawned, it cannot play the
blues. So cmon, let us hurt each other, because through our hurtin
hearts, bebe, we can know God. Email me. FB me. Text me. Website me.
Blog me. ALSO Email, FB, Text, Website, and Blog about me and this
rockin hurtin ebook. PARA DUMAMI ANG TROPANG AMICUS DEI:
Faithful Friends of Jesus and His Church. DISTRIBUTE THIS EBOOK TO AS
MANY ROCKIN AND ROLLIN CATHOLIC FRIENDS YOU HAVE
WORLDWIDE. UNIVERSE-WIDE, isama mo na mga aliens sa Mars.
The sky is cryin, look at the tears rollin out the streets ERIC
CLAPTON CAN PLAY THE BEST BLUES LICKS, BECAUSE GOD IS GOD. AND
ERIC IS NOT GOD. Yan ang totoo, adik.
NOW, THE PART ABOUT THIS WRITER OF EBOOKS.
I AM BENNET AMOROSO, THE FAITH ENGINEER, THE KNOWLEDGE
ARCHITECT, and THE EBOOK WRITER. BAKIT MAY THE LAGI? KASI, AKO
LANG ANG GANITO.
I can write ebooks kasi writer ako. I edit my own ebooks kasi editor ako.
Bakit online? Kasi may karapatan ako. I belong to the cool-and-crazyrockin-and-rollin original generation of technojournalists who

49

documented the revolution of computers and Internet in the

Philippines. Hindi ako nagpapasulat sa iba at hindi ako nagpapa-edit sa
iba. Pag may wrongs dito, il receive the flak. Pag alright, I am
magnanimous enough to share my blessings to everyone (enemies and
friends, critics and flatterers). Direct to you, my reader, so direct to me
your sentiments and blues feelings, too. IN ALL MY EBOOKS, I DONT
HIRE WRITERS, NOR EDITORS, NOR MERCENARY ENCODERS. Ako ito
from start to finish, from the nakakangawit na encoding up to
uploading. I promise to reply to your email too, to your posts. If you
want to learn more and the easy way, especially Paano Matutunan ang
Algebra na Hindi Sinasadya OR How To Learn The Relativity of Einstein
or Calculus or Algebra or Discrete Mathematics NA NAPAKAGINHAWA,
PARA KA LANG NAKAMOT SA PUWET meet me with really ice-cold
beers (the orig Pale Pilsen na SMB) then we will pray the Rosary and
discuss about real hard-core Science and real hard-core Math (subjects
na kinakatakutan ng mga Freethinkers). And lets talk personal siempre,
kasi paano natin maiinom ang beer if sa FB? Sagot mo beers ha.
Writer and Editor ako pero di ako graduate ng journalism o mass com.
Nag-aral at graduate ako ng bs electrical engineering sa dalawang
pinakamahusay na electrical engineering institute and university (noong
panahon namin!) sa buong Pilipinas. Scholar ako sa college dahil sa
pagsusulat at pageedit. Ako ang nagdesign ng sarili kong curriculum
kaya pinagsabay ko ang Judo course, Ranger training course, Catholic
Apologetics course, sa aking Engineering course. Nine years ang inabot
bago ko natapos ang curriculum ko na personally I customized/designed
for myself. AKO LANG ANG GANITO. SI BO SANCHEZ HINDI GANITO.
GOD LOVES VARIETIES.
Kaya may karapatan akong hamunin ng suntukan si Carlos Celdran,
magtayo ng real urban and jungle survival camp, makipagdebate sa mga
walang diyos, magtutor ng Math, at e-edit pati State of the Nation ni
Noynoy at State of the States ni Obama. AKO LANG ANG GANITO, SABI
NGA SAYO.

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Sa pagtututor galing ang slogan ko na I simplify complex lessons, I slay

dragons of confusions. Kapag nanglilito ka kasi, kaaway kita. Pero dahil
love ko ang enemies ko, I will exorcise the spirit of confusion in you.
Wait, bawal daw mag-exorcise ang layko. Ok, deliverance prayers na
lang, suggestion ni Fr. Jose Francisco Syquia, Director of the Manila
Office of Exorcism. (Father pray for me, these dragons of confusions are
retaliating, no kidding po, please pray for me).
Wala akong asawa, pero hindi ako bakla. Gusto ko lang kasing maging
Cistercian or Carthusian Monk someday. Gusto ko lang, pero ayaw yata
ni Lord. Ayaw ni Lord kasi I had 17 girlfriends na in the past, pero ayaw
ko pang tumigil. Adik rin ako sa reading books of the most varied titles
and topics.
Ano pa ba? Well, kung hindi ako nakakalimutan ni Arnel Gabriel (ang
multimillionaire na daw na may-ari ng Psicom Publishing, Sir Arnel sabi
ni Ike Suarez, milyonaryo ka na daw dahil sa mga Psicom love stories at
horror stories!), ako yung dating Chief Editor ng Psicom Computer
Magazine circa 1994-96 yata. Paki check nga sir arnel ang eksaktong
petsa at taon, siguro andyan pa payslip ko. Nagkaabutan kami ni Tony
Maghirang sa Psicom, Tony is the Great Rock Music Reviewer na kilala
rin bilang writer/staff ng pioneering music mag na JINGLE SONGMAG
(3rd batch daw siya, 1971 onwards). Pero ha! mas matanda sa akin yang
si Tony Rocker Maghirang.
Kasabayan ko sa pagsusulat sa Psicom Computer magazines sina Gerry
Plaza, Chief Editor ngayon sa ABS-CBN (sabi sayo pre mahabagin si Lord,
wala kang Prostate cancer) at si Carlo Magno Jose.
Sa hierarchy ng pagalingan sa pagsusulat ng animated rockin style,
number one si Tony the Rocker. Si Gerry Plaza, sa scholarly writing yan
magaling. Si Tony at Gerry ay parehong mahuhusay na graduates ng
engineering sa UP Diliman. See, sabi sayo mas marunong magsulat ang
mga engineers!
Si Carlo Magno noon ang nagpapakunot ng noo ni Boss Arnel. Nagtataka
si Boss Arnel bakit nakakapagsulat si Carlo Magno pero mali-mali ang

51

grammar. Graduate si Carlo ng Mass Comm. Ah kaya pala mali grammar,

hehe.
Uso pa music tapes noon, sa dilapidated na mesa ni Tony the Rocker sa
Psicom, puno ng rock music tapes. Inggit ako sa kanya. Tony has a
special sophisticated ear for reviewing rock bands, rock music, rock
concerts and all that rocks!
Nagtagal pa sana ako sa Psicom, pero a crazy Korean (who was into
selling diskettes, SKC ang tatak) pirated me into helping him publish a
Korean newspaper which did not flourish naman. (Heres my belated
apologies, Boss Arnel. Mea culpa).
I was in Psicom also when another crazy publisher (a German ha!) met
me and offered me free training in China, free travel in Germany just
to edit and distribute his awesome computer magazines in the
Philippines.
Ganyan ka exciting ang Psicom Publishing kahit noon. I was there at a
Makati hotel when Microsoft launched its Windows 95 OS. I was
strutting around evangelizing that Windows 3.1 is still the better choice
than Windows 95. Inis na sa akin ang mga taga Microsoft! Tony, hoy,
ano nga yung rock music na naging theme sa launching ng Windows 95?
I remember na, Start Me Up by the Rollingstones.
Thats in that hotel too where and when we at Psicom self-proclaimed
that Psicom Computer Magazine is the Number 1 computer magazine in
the entire Philippines! Funny and Wow ha pero silly. Dalawa lang naman
kasi ang computer magazines noon. Parehong Psicom. Yung isa yata
yung ine-edit ni Tony (PCGuide) noong ine-edit ko naman yung Psicom.
And Psicom is really the pioneering hacker-computer magazine.
Ano Derrick Manas, kasali ako sa history ng computer revolution sa
Pilipinas! Eblog at Efacebook mo yan. Gusto ko rin ang Wolfgang. Kami
ang mga Steve Wozniak, Steve Jobs, John Drapper, Kevin Mitnick, Bill
Gates, in technojournalism sa Pilipinas. Kami yung mga pagalagalang
technoJournalist na walang ginawa kundi mangulit magtanong mag

52

interview sa mga hotels sa Makati kapag may product launchings (libre

kain, marami freebies) ng mga bagong software, hardware, printer, at
lahat ng wares (pwera Tupperware). Pero, honest, hindi ko naabutan
yung mas orig sa akin na mga hackers ng BBS (bulletin board systems)
mga kakilala nila Boss Publisher Arnel Gabriel na si yung so-called Mr.
Gumba The Programmer na gumawa ng infamous na pinoy orig
computer virus: The Possessed. DOS pa yata ang main Operating System
noon.
(Si grammatically-wrong na Carlo Magno Jose, napangasawa yung writer
na UP Diliman graduate, the pretty dark smart sexy alluring lady writer
of ComputerWorld. Competitor ng Psicom ang ComputerWorld. Na fall
si UPD graduate sa appeal at kapogihan ni Carlo Magno. See everyone
has a vulnerability. I forgot na the name of this UPD graduate)
Nung naging technoEvangelizer ako (not for Jesus, but for Computer
Revolution) sa isang unknown city sa Bicol, ako yung nag-train kay Aris
and Ting (no! ako lang ang nagpayosi at nagpakain sa kanila) while they
trained themselves in computer programming. Uso noon ang low-level
programming, mga baliw kami. Kapag walang available na driver ng
soundcard, pa astigan kami sa Assembly Language para maka create ng
sariling sound driver. Kaya mo yun? Na ang kinalabasan dahil trial and
error lang, we created a monster of a mistake, a Frankenstein of a
programming mistake: controlling the keyboard of another computer
10 meters away using the keyboard of another computer 5 meters
away.
Nananahimik na po si Aris (that long-haired hacker-programmer!
pagkatapos maka-receive ng email galing sa FBI at pagkatapos
makabuntis ng Computer Science student). Si Ting, may-asawa na and
works as a Webmaster. Nakapag-asawa si Ting??? Yes. Nakapag-asawa
siya, nakabola ang mga poetry niya online. Yung ka jam ko sa lungkot sa
buhay na si Marlon, ka jam ko rin sa blues guitar dahil siya ang nag intro
sa akin kung ano ang 12bar blues, nawawala, missing, (wala siya sa
Facebook e, therefore missing). Lead guitarist and computer
programmer din si Marlon, mas magaling siya sa akin. Si Alexis Marion
Amoroso Lagante? Maliit pa siya noon, pero balita ko na ang galing nya

53

sa computer programming. At grade 5, he was able to create a simple

computer game.
Boss Arnel, yung first issue ng Wired Magazine na surely collectors item
na ngayon, ay nasa akin pa. Isosoli ko pa sayo?
Bago pala sa Psicom, nasa textbook publishing ako, sa Abiva Publishing
House, taga check ako dun ng mga logical mistakes, grammatical lapses,
and computational errors ng mga authors na may PhD. Nagwork din ako
sa Asian Sources Media Group, publisher of design-level engineering
technical magazines. Its name today is Global Sources Media Group.
Parang campus ng UP Diliman ang Asian Sources. Nakasabay ko dun ang
mga weirdo-genius na UP graduates like Selwyn Alojipan who is a
graduate of Marine Biology pero an ultimate/supreme expert on tanks,
wars, integrated circuits, ice cream, and how to befriend strangelooking fishes while diving at midnight in Matabungkay. Ako lang ang
nakakaunawa kay Selwyn. These days, Selwyn is very active in Paintball
Wargames and is a very active member of Buhay na Kasaysayan, mga
mahuhusay na nagko-costume as Japanese World War II soldiers at
kung anu-ano pa (to preserve and value history) kahit hindi sila lubos na
naiintindihan ng madlang people. Kudos to Selwyn and his Japanese
troops!
Preno. Akala ko ba, just lil of myself. Stop na muna here. Siguro isang
ebook din ang about my life as a writer and editor. Langya, pati komiks
pinasok ko, kala mo. But thats another story, deserving an ebook, too.
Napahaba. Pero eto talaga ang lil about myself. Lil pa lang ito.
By the way and proactively, I dont criticize lang ha, I can offer my
services:
Seryoso nato.
Mga pari. I WILL OFFER MY SERVICES TO YOU AS LEADERSHIP TRAINOR
to transform your sleepy Laykos and Manangs and Manongs and PYCs
(Parish Youth Council Leaders) into Ranger-Evangelizers into

54

Commando-Catechists into SEALS-spirited community organizers! also

into Propagandists for our Faithful Friend Jesus (what is wrong with the
word propaganda dear Bishops?), and also into Ready-To-Die Catholic
Apologists/Catechists (whats wrong with Apologetics, my dear Pope
Francis?). Pwede rin akong mag-train ng mga security guards ng
simbahan. Pwede rin akong magtrain ng mga seminarista. Tama na ang
basketball, basketball sa mga Seminaryo. Kaya kayo nagkakahilig
manghipo ng maybola e, puro kayo basketball at volleyball. Martial Arts
naman, Combat Tai Chi naman para maging parang mga Shaolin monks
kayo. I can also teach seminarians how to survive the jungles of
relativism and modernism.
(mga fathers and madres and bishops and cardinals, may talent fee na
po ako pag I will train your lazy and lousy staffs, manongs, and manangs.
Nung puputulan kasi ako ng koryente, sinisingil ng upa sa apartment at
building, at kakain ako sa turo-turo, nag try akong magpalibre kasi I said
I am working for the Lord naman, pero sabi ng collector, landlady, at
bantay sa karinderia go to hill and plant camote, kasi walang libre
kahit mahal ka ni Lord at holy)
Mga schools and offices. MY RECOTEAM OFFERS RETREATS AND
RECOLLECTIONS. Try us. We are affordable. We are vulnerable. We are
not as in, we are not professional mechanized retreat-givers or retreatentrepreneurs. We weep and laugh with our retreatants. We eat what
they eat. We sleep where they sleep. We dont eat and we dont sleep if
they dont eat and sleep. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
0918 315 5634 email: bodylusog@yahoo.com
Facebook: BENNET AMOROSO

NOW DAHIL ALAM MO NA KUNG BAKIT ANTOK KA SA SIMBAHAN AT

KUNG BAKIT YUNG DILAT AY REBELDE NAMAN, LET US RESURRECT THE
CATHOLIC CHURCH. THE SPRINGTIME OF THE CHURCH IS NOW!
SOLDIER ON, FELLOW CATHOLICS.

55

With me, let us say this: Here I am Lord, send me. No turning back and
no surrender. Promise na talaga.
AMEN. AD MAJOREM DEI GLORIAM.
NOT JESUIT-TRAINED, BUT IGNATIAN.
E PAANO YUNG NAPIKON DITO? ETO FOR THE PIKONS
Mga pikon! You survived this Ebook? Good! Umabot ka dito sa last page,
galing mo a, natatae ka na sa asar pero umabot ka sa finish line. Tae na.
God bless you, go run, attend a Mass, attend it solemnly (it is a sacrifice
not an entertainment) and do it daily. Wag kang magpapaniwala na
Sunday lang dapat. Kasi kung mabuti yan, mabuti yan daily.
Sabihin mo rin sa parish priests ninyo na gawing 4:30 am ang daily Mass
na yan, Gregorian chant na muna, then at 5am misa up to 6am.
Afterwards, libreng almusal na pandesal at salabat sa first 17 na
dumating at 4:30am. Bakit 17? Ewan, trip ko lang. (surely, may 30
manong and manang sa simbahan, assign each to sponsor and host the
daily breakfast for one entire month and repeat the cycle monthly).
Bakit 6am dapat tapos na? Para makapasok ka pa sa office, dun ka na
lang matulog. Pag nahuli kang natutulog, tiyak sisante ka. Magresign ka
at magsulat ng ebooks. Wag magpasulat ng ebook ha, wag makinig sa
business suggestions ng mga not-authors and not-orig-writers. Kaya
bawal ang walang talent na magsulat na kunwari maytalent. Hehe. Joke
lang. O, pikon ka na naman?

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Nakapako na, nakailag pa rin.

This is the famous Lepanto
Cross!

Kyrie, eleison Christe, eleison

THIS IS ALL FOR YOU JESUS, MY GREATEST MOST FAITHFUL FRIEND, JESUS. I
SAY YES TO YOUR INVITATION, YES, WE WILL BE PERSONAL FRIENDS forever.
Late have I loved you. Sorry. I was distracted by rock music, girls, beers, poetry,
guitar and books.
TO JESUS, THROUGH MARY.
IN NOMINE PATRIS, ET FILII, ET SPIRITUS SANCTI. AMEN

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