Assertiveness Training

Improving your self knowledge and your ability to communicate assertively can increase
your success level in the workplace as well as in life. Assertiveness is not a one-size-fitsall approach to relating to others. It is a way of relating that respects both your and other
peoples needs, wants, and rights.
Assertiveness is important in all forms of communication: when you give or receive
compliments, make or respond to requests, or handle difficult circumstances or
relationships. Relating assertively does not guarantee that the other person will be equally
assertive in response, or that they will even respond positively; as a style of
communication, however, it is healthier for you and others and more likely to achieve
success than either aggressive or passive behavior.

Characteristics and Examples of Aggressive Behavior

Threats and intimidation

Sarcasm
Manipulation
Name calling, belittling, or insulting

Demanding
Blaming
Hostility
Violence

Characteristics and Examples of Passive Behavior

Belittling yourself or your
achievements
Not saying no (when you should)
Not saying yes (when you want to)
Over apologizing

Letting others run your life

Never sharing your ideas
Putting up with threatening or
manipulative behaviors
Withdrawal

Characteristics and Examples of Passive-Aggressive Behavior (combining

the worst of both above)
Hidden hostility
Agreeing to do something but not
doing it

Sabotaging someone behind the scene

Gossip and behind the back
complaints

Characteristics and Examples of Assertive Behavior

Accepting compliments comfortably
Using I need, I want, I feel
statements to express your needs,
wants, feelings, or concerns
Taking all parties interests into
account

Assertiveness Role Play Activity

Being comfortable saying both yes or

no as appropriate
Being courteous
Being honest and concise in
expressing feelings
Speaking clearly and maintaining eye
contact

Discuss the main differences between aggressive, submissive, and assertive

behavior, in light of our class discussions and your prior reading. Then, get into
groups of three (if a group of four is needed, ask the group to appoint two
observers and to rotate roles so that everyone plays all parts). Instructor leads
groups through each role play, one at a time.
After each situation, discuss the role play within your group, answering the
questions:
How did the various parties feel about the conversation?
Was the interaction assertive? If not, why not?
How might the interaction have been more assertive, if at all?
Report out on questions and interesting observations.
Situation One: Teammate B put extra effort into creating a great-looking
graph for your report.
Person A: Sincerely compliment B.
Person B: Respond Assertively
Person C: Observe
Situation Two: Your team has gone out to celebrate the successful completion
of your Team Literature Review. While eating, you notice that teammate C
has a piece of broccoli stuck between his/her teeth, which he/she seems
unaware of.
Person B: Respond assertively.
Person C: Handle the interaction with person B assertively.
Person A: Observe
Situation Three
Person C: It is normally your job to send an email to all of your team members
after class, summarizing team decisions and reminding the team of agreed upon
tasks. Today, however, you are scheduled to retake an algebra exam right after
class. Make an assertive request of teammate B to write and send this email to the
team on your behalf. (Note: This is the second time youve made such a request.)
Person A: Respond assertively.
Person B: Observe
Situation Four: It is the fourth week of your team project and teammate B has
been late to three prior class sessions, missing crucial instructional and
work time. Once again, he/she walks in 30 minutes late today.
Person A: Handle the situation assertively.
Person B: Respond assertively.
Person C. Observe