INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION (IPC)

DEFINITION OF IPC

Interpersonal communication is the process of exchange of information, ideas, feelings

and meaning between two or more people through verbal and/or non-verbal methods. It
often includes face-to-face exchange of messages, which may take form of a certain
tone of voice, facial expressions, body language and gestures.

There are three basic definitions of Interpersonal Communication. These include:

 COMPONENTIAL DEFINITION

 DEVELOPMENTAL DEFINITION

 RELATIONAL DEFINITION

COMPONENTIAL DEFINITION

This definition is based on the elements or components involved in the interpersonal

communication process. The various components of IPC are listed below:

1. Source-Receiver

2. Encoding-Decoding

3. Messages

4. Channel/ medium

5. Noise

6. Feedback

7. Context

So the componential definition is:

 IPC is the process of sending and receiving messages between two persons, or among
a small group of persons with some effect and some immediate feedback occurring all
the time.

DEVELOPMENTAL DEFINITION

Here, communications are viewed as existing on a continuum ranging from impersonal at one
end to increasingly interpersonal or intimate at the other end. IPC is distinguished from
Impersonal communication on the basis of three factors:-

1. Psychological Data: In impersonal encounters, the social or cultural role of the person
tells us how to interact

while

in personal or interpersonal encounters, the psychological role of the person tells us how
to interact.

2. Explanatory Knowledge: International interactions are based on an explanatory

knowledge of each other. When we know a particular person, we can better predict how
that person will react in a variety of situations. In interpersonal situations, we can not only
predict how a person will act but can also advance explanations for that person’s
behaviour.

3. Personally Established Rules: In impersonal situation, the rules of behavioural

interaction are set down by social norms. As the relationship between a student and a
professor becomes interpersonal, the rules established by social norms are no longer
important and mutually established rules are followed. This means, a teacher if wants to
be friendly with a particular students, this is his own personal choice.

RELATIONAL (DYADIC) DEFINITION

Interpersonal communication takes place between two persons who have a clearly established
relationship between them. The relation may be temporary or permanent. IPC would thus include
the communication taking place between teacher and student, waiter and customer, a boss and an
employee or a father and a son, etc.

Interpersonal communication exists on a continuum: 

The above diagram shows that Interpersonal communication covers extremes:

1. it may take place when we don’t know people personally and it is a kind of
impersonal interaction.

2. it may take place when we know people personally and it is a kind of

personal interaction or interpersonal interaction.

Major benefits of interpersonal communication

The overall benefits of interpersonal communication can be broadly categorized

into two groups, i.e. personal/social and professional.
Personal/social benefits:
We make or break relations through interpersonal interactions.
To a great extent our personal accomplishments and joys depend on our
effectiveness as interpersonal communicators. The bonds of relationships are
made, continued, and sometime broken through our interpersonal
communication. The success of our family relationships depends heavily on the
interpersonal communication among the members.
Professional:
The ability to communicate interpersonally is acknowledged to be a key to
professional success. From the first interview, selection for a junior position, then
reaching a managerial position, the candidate’s interpersonal communication
skills largely determine his/her success. It has become a widely known fact that,
amongst the various qualities, “communication and interpersonal skills” are given
high priority when making hiring decisions.

The nature of interpersonal communication

1. Interpersonal communication takes place between inter-reliant persons

Interpersonal communication takes place between individuals who are in one

way or another “linked”. Interpersonal communication thus includes what
happens between a daughter and mother, a superior and subordinate, two
brothers, a lecturer and a student, two friends, and so on and so forth.
Not only are the people simply linked, they are also interdependent: what one
person casts an impact on the other person. The actions of one person affect
other persons. In an organization, for example, if an employee is fired, it will
affect his parents, other siblings, extended family members, and other
dependents.

2. Interpersonal communication is essentially relational

Interpersonal communication relates to a relationship, it affects relationship, as

well as defines the relationship. The way one communicates is determined
greatly by the kind of connection that exists between individuals. We interact in a
different way with our instructor and our best friend; a brother and a neighbour, a
co-worker and a casual social contact. But it should also be noted that the way
one interacts with the other, will influence the kind of relationship between the
individuals.

3.Interpersonal communication covers extremes

(as mentioned already above)
Interpersonal communication ranges from fairly impersonal at one end to
extremely personal at the other end. At the impersonal end of the continuum, we
may include a simple conversation between people who really don’t know each
other—e.g. a traffic warden and a driver. At the highly personal end is the
communication that takes place between people who are emotionally
interconnected—a father and son or best friends.

4. Interpersonal communication involves verbal and nonverbal messages

Interpersonal interaction comprises of the exchange of verbal and nonverbal

messages. The words one uses as well as the facial expressions—the eye
contact and the body posture.
At times even silence speaks a thousand words.

5. Interpersonal communication exists in diverse forms

Mostly, interpersonal communication takes place in person face-to-face e.g.

talking with other friends before class, interacting with family over lunch, etc. But,
today much conversation takes place online.
These online arrangements not only make it easy to communicate internationally
but also provide an excellent exposure to other cultures, other ideas, and other
ways of communicating, and they are a good introduction to intercultural
communication.

6. Interpersonal communication is transactional not linear

Linear means that communication is proceeding in a straight line and when the
speaker speaks, the listener listens; after the speaker finishes speaking, the
listener would speak. It also means that Speaking and listening are supposed to
be occurring at different times—when you spoke, you didn’t listen, and when you
listened, you didn’t speak.
Transactional process means that each person is simultaneously (at the same
time) both a speaker and a listener. The speaker when sending messages, he is
also receiving messages from his own communication and from the responses of
the other person as well. And at the same time when the listener is listening, he
is sending messages like nonverbal expressions or some utterances from mouth
as well.
So transaction of messages: sending and receiving takes place at the same time.

7. Interpersonal communication involves choices

During interpersonal communication we are often make choices -- as to who

should be communicated with, what to be said, what not to be said, how to
phrase our message, what words to be used, and so on.

Purposes of interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication is a purposeful and focused interaction that can be
used to accomplish a variety of purposes. Some of them are discussed as under:

To learn: Interpersonal communication enables us to learn and to better

understand the world around us. In fact, it is believed that our principles,
attitudes, and morals are influenced more by interpersonal experiences than by
formal, conventional education. Interpersonal communication also lets us learn
about ourselves—our strengths and our weaknesses.

To connect: Interpersonal communication helps to connect to others and to

form significant connections. Such contacts help to relieve the state of loneliness,
depression and hopelessness, enable individuals to share and heighten
pleasures, and in general make one feel more positive.

To inspire: During our interpersonal connections we may inspire others; e.g.
to choose a certain career, to behave in a certain way, to try a new restaurant, to
argue to let someone believe if something is true or otherwise.

To support: Psychiatrists serve humanity professionally by offering help

through interpersonal interactions. But we all interact every day to help our
connections in one way or another. Examples include, consoling and comforting
a friend who has just lost his father, counselling a student about career prospects
or offering advice to a co-worker.

To play and enjoy: Messaging friends about outstation holidays, discussing
interests on chat, making a practical joke, posting an event or photo on some
social media site, and gossiping with friends are all examples to play and enjoy
functions. These fun activities might seem to be trivial but, indeed, these are
extremely important purposes that give our activities a necessary balance and
provide our mind with a break from serious matters.

Ways to improve interpersonal communication

Interpersonal skills are invaluable in personal as well as professional life. These

skills measure how well you interact with others. Therefore, you must be aware
of the ways these skills can be improved. Some of them are discussed briefly as
under:
Smile: It is hard to find somebody who would want to be around someone
who is in a constant state of depression. People in general avoid negative
energies around them, therefore try being friendly to all and wear a smile. An
optimistic and cheerful attitude acts like a positive energy that is likely to draw
others to you.

Encourage others: We all have positives and negatives, strengths and

weaknesses. Rather than dwelling on negativity one should appreciate the
positive outlook of life. We should try finding at least one positive thing about
everyone we connect with and let them hear it out. Generous praise and kind
words of encouragement can greatly improve the quality of relationships. Some
magic words like sorry, thanks, welcome, excuse me, etc. can really help build
one’s image very strongly. When we appreciate others, they too wish to put in
their best.
Have courtesy for others: During a lifetime, individuals go through many
phases; we should recognize, acknowledge and celebrate others’ successes,
and express concern and empathy for difficult and painful situations. We should
deal with others in a respectable manner and let them come up with their
opinions as well.

Active listening: Active listening refers to establishing the fact that one
clearly intends to hear and understand another person’s point of view. It means
an active participation in the conversation, it would reflect that the subject under
discussion has been understood. The feeling of being heard would make people
appreciate you.

Bridging gaps: Create an environment that raises everybody’s spirits to

work together. Avoid favouritism and treat everyone equally. Avoid back-biting.
Honour other people's suggestions and requests. When you make a statement or
announcement, check if you have been understood. Such personality traits will
make people trust you.

Resolve conflicts: Even healthy relationships experience conflicts. Any two

persons can’t agree over same things all the time. Rather than avoiding the
conflict, conflict resolution is more important, crucial and worth learning. Try to
resolve disagreements when they arise. Become an effective mediator. If group
members quarrel over personal differences, sit down with both the parties and
help sort out their differences. Assuming such leadership role, will enable you to
receive respect and appreciation from those around you.

Communicate clearly: Every effort should be made to ensure that a clear

message reaches the receiver’s end. Before communicating determine clearly
what you have to say and how. An effective communicator avoids confusions and
misunderstandings with co-workers, colleagues, and peers.
Humour: While living, sometimes though we breathe but forget to live. We
develop a habit of taking ourselves and the situations that come across so
seriously that we lose our tool of humour. Don’t get scared to be witty or funny as
most people get attracted to a person who can make them laugh. Your sense of
humour can act as an effective tool to lessen barriers and gain people’s affection.
Empathy: Empathy refers to being able to put one’s feet in someone else’s
shoes and realize how they feel. It talks about viewing state of affairs from
another person’s perspective. This is not so difficult as it appears to be, as those
who are sensitive enough and are connected to their own emotions firmly, do
empathize well with others, whereas those who are far from their own selves are
far from others’ emotions as well.

Stop complaining: We all complain because it is easier to complain than to

find solutions. Though we cannot avoid it completely yet we should not waste the
entire life complaining. Too much of complaining can simply ruin the
relationships. Constantly griping about one thing or another can certainly make
matters worse for the connections.
Elements and traits of ethics in interpersonal communication

The business communicator’s vital responsibility is to be ethical. Ethics denotes a

set of principles or rules of correct conduct. Communicating ethically involves
being open, respectful, and trustworthy—overall, actually practicing the “golden
rule” i.e. treat your audience the way you would want yourself to be treated.
Communication can move people, inspire cultures, and transform history. It can
stimulate individuals to take stand and consider an argument. The effectiveness of your
message depends upon the degree to which you consider the common good and adhere to
fundamental principles you hold. The very basic ethical traits in interpersonal communication
are discussed below.

Equality
To be just is to believe in basic equality. It means that everybody enjoys the
same level of respect, prospects, access to information, and rewards of
contributing in a group.

Positive relationship with the audience

Ethical communicators build a wonderful chemistry with the audience in no time

and strike the same wavelength of the audience. They communicate in a way
that is understandable and suitable to all their listeners or readers, with no
difference in terms of age, gender, race or culture, or other characteristics. An
ethical communicator unites the audience by using ideas and language that are
appropriate for all the readers or listeners.

Balance between speaking and listening

In interpersonal communication, while one person speaks the other person

listens.
Keeping a true balance between speaking and listening phases is an important
part of the ethics of interpersonal communication. One should not keep speaking
versus one keeps silent.

Respect

People should be given due respect. Respect their emotions, feelings, time,
intelligence and needs, etc.
An ethical communicator is keen and wholehearted without being disrespectful.
However, in cases, where you disagree strongly with a co-worker or feel
extremely irritated and bothered with some customer, it is important to express
such thoughts respectfully.
Trustworthiness
Trust is a key factor in communication. As an employer you would never hire
someone you do not trust. As a customer, you never buy from a company you do
not trust. Your task as a communicator is to form a healthy connection with your
audience, and to do that you need to show them why they can trust you and how
relevant and believable is the information that you are sharing with them. Show
why you are interested in the topic, or offer your reasons for communicating at
this particular time.

Authentic information
The information that is to be communicated must be true and authentic. Before
having it shared with the target audiences the information must be checked for
accuracy, otherwise it can have worse consequences (results).

The “Golden Rule”

The “golden rule,” says, treat others the way you would like yourself to be
treated. The golden rule includes human kindness, cooperation, and exchanges
across cultures, languages, backgrounds and interests. No matter where you
travel, who you connect with, or what your audience is like, just remember how
you would feel if you were on the receiving end of your communication, and then
act accordingly.
AVOID STATIC EVALUATION

Often when we talk about an event or a person, that statement has a tendency to remain static
and unchanging, while the object of person to whom it originally referred may change
considerably. However, things are remembered by us the way we may have found them in the
first place. For instance, your class fellow is a chain smoker, however, when you meet him 10
years later you still refer to him as a smoker, whereas he may have given up smoking. Hence,
a problem arises and our evaluations must be kept in pace with the rapidly changing real
world.

TREAT OTHERS AS A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL

Indiscrimination is a term which means the denial of another’s uniqueness. Indiscrimination
occurs when we focus on classes of individuals and fail to see that each is unique, each is
different and each needs to be looked at individually. This is a common practice of classifying
national, racial and religious groups. For instances, the blacks are considered inferior. The
problem arises not from classification but from the evaluative label attached to that the class.

Universals (components) of interpersonal communication

(very important)

A number of scholarly writers use a model called the ‘Universals of

communication’ to describe the various components of interpersonal
communication. The model includes ten components as follows:
Universal Explanation
Source-receiver An interpersonal communication requires
at least two persons – the sender (source)
and the receiver. Furthermore, the
Universals model states that interpersonal
communication needs to be two-way
(source-receiver) – for example a public
speech is one-way and therefore not
considered interpersonal communication.
Encoding-decoding Interpersonal communication requires the
message to be reduced to written or
spoken form (encoding), sent (sound and
 light waves) then decoded by the receiver.

Competence ( ability or skill) Competence in a common language is

and performance necessary for effective encoding-decoding.
Furthermore, competence in
communication skills is also required, for
example understanding the impact of the
mode of address (e.g. addressee’s
position), when to speak and when to keep
silent, and being able to adapt (adjust) the
message in relation to the context. Most of
these skills are initially learnt in childhood
then developed throughout life.
Message and their channeling Interpersonal communication involves the
sending of a signal (message) to the
receiver, whether by gesture, voice, visual,
touch, smell, taste or a combination
thereof.
The channel is the medium through which
a message is conveyed.
Noise Already covered.
Self feedback and feedback Feedback was introduced earlier. In the
from others context of the Universals, self-feedback
refers to the sender hearing themselves
and sensing their movements in order to
correct themselves, rephrase something,
or confirm their communication was
successful.
Context Context refers to the specific dynamics that
impact on a particular interpersonal
communication. They include three
dimensions:
 Physical – i.e. where the communication
takes place e.g. school vs. funeral, parlour
vs. office;
 Social/psychological – This dimension
includes status, rank, culture and the roles
in an organization, family or society.
 Temporal – the timing of the
communication both in respect of the time
 of day, but also the timing of the
communication relative to other things –
e.g. after a break, or telling a joke after
delivering bad news.

Field of experience This refers to the relative experience of the

people who are communicating and must
be taken into account to ensure
communication is effective.
For example a qualified accountant who
has completed all his training has
experience of the tasks they may be
asking a trainee accountant to perform and
can manage the trainee accordingly.
Where people have not shared the same
experiences they will need to empathise
with others in order to share effective
communication.
Effects This universal refers to the effect that
interpersonal communication has on
someone i.e. all interpersonal
communication has some kind of impact
on each person.
Ethics This universal refers to the moral code of
right and wrong and presides that ethics
may (or may not) specifically exist as a
reference point in communication.

Axioms of interpersonal communication (very important)

An axiom is a statement which is accepted as a true statement.

The five axioms developed by Paul Watzlawick explain human communication

and its all aspects relating to what we say, how we say and who is talking to
whom, etc.
The axioms of communication also explain how miscommunication can occur if
the communicators are not subconsciously aligned. Axiom theory argues that if
one of the axioms is disturbed, communication may fail.

The axioms are:

Axiom 1: “One cannot, not communicate”.

Axiom 2: "Every communication has a content and relationship aspect ‘

Axiom 3:  "The nature of a relationship is dependent on the punctuation of the

partners' communication procedures."

Axiom 4: "Human communication involves both digital and analogic

components."

Axiom 5: "Inter-human communication procedures are either symmetric or

complementary, depending on whether the relationship of the partners is based
on differences or equality."

The following detail contains another axiom added making it 6 Axioms:

 1. Communication is inevitable (one cannot not communicate) – This refers

to the fact that individuals cannot remain isolated without communicating or being
in an uncommunicative state.

An individual with an expressionless face may not appear to be communicating

but he is communicating… HOW? He shows the lack of interest is a message in
itself and may express boredom or a concern for something else.

 2. Every communication has a content and relationship aspect

In certain situations, aside from the content of the message, an understanding of

the differences in the nature of the relationship between the sender of the
message and the recipient could lead to a better understanding of the message.

A lack of understanding of the relationship dimension of communication could

give rise to conflict and misunderstanding in spite of the fact that the content
dimension of the communication may essentially be the same in similar
situations.
The communication has a relationship dimension which exists between the
parties in terms of family ties, status and nature of association. This needs to be
kept in mind when interpreting the message and understanding the message that
is actually communicated.

 3. Irreversibility of communication – Irreversibility of interpersonal

communication means that what has once been said or communicated cannot be
retrieved, withdrawn or called back.

However, the adverse impact of the message can subsequently be mitigated by

sending a qualified message or an apology – for example adding “only joking”
after having criticised someone.

The Irreversibility of Communication imposes an obligation on the sender of the

message to exercise care and abstain from stating something which may later
cause embarrassment or regret. Chapter 1: The communication process

 4. Digital and analogic – Human communication involves both digital and

analogic components.

‘Digital’ refers to specific and defined communication elements. If we say a word

that gives same meaning to all, or a specific gestures with generally agreed
meanings.

Analog means: using words or signals or an information which is continuously

variable. All listeners may not take the same meanings for the specific word.

Analogic communication is typically unintentional, and unavoidably 'gives us

away', revealing such things as our moods, attitudes, intentions, and truthfulness
—or otherwise.

 5. Defining relationships by punctuation –

The nature of a relationship is dependent on the punctuation of the partners'

communication procedures.

This axiom describes how each person perceives (or punctuates) a

communication sequence. Both the sender and receiver of information structure
the communication flow differently and therefore interpret their own behaviour
during communication as merely a reaction on the other's behaviour.

To punctuate a communication means to interpret an on-going sequence of

events by labelling one event as the cause and the following event as the
response. This means that each party in the communication thinks the other one
is the cause of a specific behaviour.

 6.Symmetric or complementary –

Symmetrical interaction describes interaction based on equal power between the

parties. Conversely, complementary interchange describes interaction based on
differences in power between the parties.

This could be re-phrased as saying communication is either symmetric or

complementary depending on whether the relationship of the parties is based on
differences or parity.

Where parties adopt the same style (one-up, one-down or one-across) it is

described as symmetrical.

When parties use opposing styles it is seen as complementary, for example

parent/child or boss/employee. Complementary styles can be highly efficient
depending on the situation – for example the hierarchy of officers and soldiers in
the army.

Additional notes

Axiom 1: “One cannot, not communicate”.

It is impossible for us to not communicate even when we’re silent. Our body is always sending a message. 

For example: if we see one of our co-workers sitting at his or her desk in silence but is frowning, even if

they are not saying anything we clearly understand there is something bothering them. Sometimes we can

say something and the way our body behaves sends an entirely different message than what we intended.
One way to avoid misunderstandings like this is by becoming more aware of our body language. A tip for

doing this is looking in the mirror and practicing our expressions. Another tip is to ask friends and family for

feedback on the way we communicate

Axiom 2: "Every communication has a content and relationship aspect such that the
latter classifies the former and is therefore a meta-communication."
The content of every communication is interpreted depending on the context of the relationship between the

communicators.

Example: the expression, “What an idiot” followed by “Just kidding” can be positively received by somebody

we have a good relation with, like our significant other, best friend, family members, etc.. But perceived

negatively if it’s coming from someone who we’re not close to.

In our jobs, we get to know many people but don’t develop trusting relationships with everyone to the point

that we feel comfortable making jokes and talking about our personal lives, this is why it’s important to keep

in mind who we’re talking to and what relationship we have with them.

Axiom 3:  "The nature of a relationship is dependent on the punctuation of the

partners' communication procedures."
When we are talking, there a number of messages flying all over the place and both the receiver and the

sender interpret the situation according to their own personal experiences, personality traits and point of

view, and to punctuate in communication means to interpret an ongoing series of events by pointing at one

specific cause and therefore acting in response to that. It’s also important to note that each speaker believes

that the behavior of the other person is the cause of their behavior, but as we know communication is more

complex than that, and can’t just be reduced to a simple cause and effect relationship.
When an event happens people tend to react according to their own perspective and they point to a specific

event that they think might be the cause of the issue. 

Example: when we are talking to a coworker, they might say something that upsets us, but we don’t tell

them and the next time we see them we act very awkwardly around them. They notice this and think you are

upset for an unknown reason, so they also act awkward around you, which leaves you feeling upset. To

avoid situations like this, in a very respectful and assertive manner let them know what behavior made you

uncomfortable. At the beginning they might be surprised, but this helps make them aware of the behavior

and could help them avoid negative feedback in the future.

Communication is cyclical, which means both the sender and receiver are contributing to the conversation in

a unique way.

Axiom 4: "Human communication involves both digital and analogic modalities."

The Digital component means what we say, the literal meaning of our words. The Analog

component refers to how we say them, issues arise when what we say sends a different message than

what we show with our body language. We tend to believe the nonverbal message as true, that’s why it’s

important to be consistent with what we say and how we say it.

Example: our supervisor tells us we did a good job, but says it with an upset tone, you might be confused by

what he/she really means because of their nonverbal communication. You might wonder were they being

sarcastic, are they jealous, are they upset, and we might end up feeling like we didn’t really do a good job. 

Axiom 5: "Inter-human communication procedures are either symmetric or

complementary, depending on whether the relationship of the partners is based on
differences or parity."
Symmetric relationships are the type of relationships where everybody is equal from a power perspective,

(i.e co-workers, brothers, sisters, friends, etc.), and complementary relationships are the ones where there

exists some type of hierarchy (Boss-employee, father-son, Lead Developer-developer). 

This is helpful to know since in symmetric relationships both parties can bring their ideas and solutions to

any situation since they come from the same place, where this relationship could end badly is if no limits set

are set, which could lead to a power struggle between both parties. 

Example:  If you and your partner are working on a project, and both have different opinions on how to

solve a problem, but each decided their solution is best, it could lead to a power struggle causing delays

solving the issue.

Complementary relationships on the other hand, are a boss-employee relationship. A good kind of

relationship since there are limitations and boundaries. In the case of software development, juniors or mids

could learn from their senior counterparts and acquire more experience. That is why they are called

complementary relationships. Problems can arise in this kind of relationship when the one in the power

position is too dominant or if the person in the less powerful position is too submissive, as it could turn into a

tyrannic relationship.  Where the person in the position of power limits the opportunities of the person in the

less powerful position.

To guarantee the free flow of communication no matter what type of relationship you encounter, all you have

to do is be aware of these differences when talking to your team or teammates. Becoming aware of these

things is the first step to making sure we’re communicating effectively. 

No matter where you sit in the hierarchy, better communication can help you develop better work

relationships and learn faster.