Personal and Social Adjustment

typically lacking in a sense of humor. In a humorous situation, he finds

nothing to laugh about. The delinquent or psychopathic person fails to
experience sympathy or remorse. These people are emotionally rigid,
owing to such factors as inadequate emotional development, overcontrol,
traumatic experiences, insecurity, and the like. Perhaps the most typical
example of the influence ·of such factors is sexual frigidity, a type of
emotional rigidity that precludes adequate sexual adjustment. It clearly
reflects faulty development, excessive inhibition, or damaging experi-
ences, factors that make it extremely difficult for the organism to achieve
a wholesome degree of emotional maturity and thus stand in the way of
adjustment and mental health. To achieve these aims one must strive
constantly to reduce damaging or restrictive influences and to raise the
level of emotional adequacy, maturity, and control by whatever means
are available.

SEXUAL ADJUSTMENT

Nature and Characteristics of Sexual Development

Intimately related to physical and emotional adjustment is sexual adjust-
ment, since sexual development is both physical and emotional. An under-
standing of the nature and characteristics of sexual development is neces-
sary to. a study of sexual adjustment. Contemporary thinking, incidentally,
no longer limits sexual development to the period between puberty and
adulthood, although it is recognized that the major aspects of sexual
adjustment are correlated with the maturing of the sex organs and the
emergence of the secondary sex characteristics at puberty.
Sexual development may be studied from two standpoints, the stand-
point of theory, and the standpoint of facts that have been gathered in
empirical studies. lO According to the most widespread theory, that of the
10 Tyson makes a similar distinction; see op. cit., p. 39. Regarding sexual theory,
see Dalbiez, R. Psychoanalytical method and the doctrine of Freud. (Trans. by T. F.
Lindsay.) New York: Longmans, Green, 1941, Vol. I, Chap. III. The facts of sexual
development and practice have received the most extensive treatment in Kinsey's
two well-known volumes on sexual behavior in men and women. Kinsey, A. C.,
Pomeroy, W. B., & Martin, C. E. Sexual behavior in the human male. Philadelphia:
. Saunders, 1948; Kinsey, A. C., Pomeroy, W. B., Martin, C. E., & Gebhard, P. H.
Sexual behavior in the human female. Philadelphia: Saunders, 1953. A summary ac-
count of the earlier report is Ernst, M. L., & Loth, D. American sexual behavior and
the Kinsey report. New York: Greystone, 1948. Other notable studies of sexual
behavior will be found in Landis, C. et al. Sex in development. New York: Harper,
1940; Hoch, P. H., & Zubin, }. (Eds.) Psychosexual development in health and
disease. New York: Grune & Stratton, 1949; Ford, C. S., & Beach, F. A. Patterns of
sexual behavior. New York: Harper, 1951.
Evaluations of the Kinsey studies will be found in Deutsch, A. (Ed.) Sex habits
of American men: a symposium on the Kinsey report. New York: Prentice-Hall,
1948; Terman, L. M. Kinsey's "Sexual behavior in th~l<uman male": some comments
. 437
,
Varieties of Adjustment

Freudian school, sexual development and expression begin in infancy

and continue throughout all stages of development. Supposedly, the
organism passes through several stages of psychose~ual. development: the
narcissistic stage, characterized by self-interest or self-love and oral needs
and gratifications; the homosexual stage, in which the loved object is
a person of the same sex; and the heterosexual peAod, I
in which love or
sex desire is directed toward a member of the opposite sex. l l In Freudian
theory, these periods are characterized by the development of the Oedi-
pus and Electra complexes, fixation at one or another level of sexual
development, emergence of the castration complex, and a certain amount
of overt sexuality. Undoubtedly, some of these ideas are correct; but it is
difficult to separate what is factual from the tangled skein of theoretical
(and often slanted) interpretations. Some of the difficulties of sexual
adjustment found in adolescence and adulthood are traceable to fixation
or to unwholesome parent-child relations; but the Freudian theory in-
volves too many broad and sometimes poorly grounded generalizations
to be completely worth while as a system of interpretation.
From the standpoint of empirical facts, it is clear that sexual behavior
is often manifested prior to the onset of puberty; but what this means for
psychosexual development is not at all certain. Such behavior usually
takes the form of curiosity, self-exploration, or sexual play, which is often
referred to as masturbatory activity. No one knows for sure what this
behavior represents, whether it reflects pleasure seeking, frustration of
basic needs, such as the need for affection and security, incipient ~ex
desire, accidental discovery of so-called erogenous zones, or simply ex-
ploratory activity. At times, these activities create. adjustment problems,
as when the child develops a habit of "masturbation"; but, for the most
part, the real problem of sexual adjustment occurs during the adolescent
period. For this reason, the application of principles of sex hygiene during
childhood is important to later adjustment. The child who is adequately
prepared for the difficulties of adolescence 'in matters of sex is not so

neglected. --
likely to become sexually maladjusted as one whose preparation is grossly

Regardless of theory or of evidence relating _to early sex behavior,

the fact is that puberty ushers in a period of ,intense psychosexual devel-

and criticisms. Psychol. Bull., 1948, 45, 443-459; Hyman, H., & Barinack, J. E.
Special review: sexual behavior in the human female. Psychol. Bull.,i1954, 51, 418-
427; Hiltner, S. Sex ethics and the Kinsey reports. New York: Association, 1953;
Ellis, A. (Ed.) Sex life of the American woman and the Kinsey report. New York:
Greenberg, 1954; Bergler, E., & Kroger, W. S. Kinse_;;~myth dffemale sexuality.
New York: Grune & Stratton, 1954. • _ ~
11 A good summary of the Freudian theory regarding stages of sexual develop-
ment will be found in White, R. W. Lives in progress. New York: Dryden, 1952,
pp. 295-303.

438
 Personal and Social Adjustment

opment that is marked by profound physical changes, alterations in

desires, imagery, feelings, and emotions, and modifications in social atti-
tudes, interests, and aspirations. The groundwork of these changes is, of
course, the growth and development of sex organs and functions, by
which the organism becomes capable of reproduction. These changes are
expressed in the secondary sex characteristics, which contribute impor-
tandy to the qualities, and to the personal conviction, of maleness and
femaleness.
All these changes, plus the situations and relations to which they give
rise, create problems of sexual adjustment, especially when, as in our,
society, these changes take place in a cultural and moral setting that pre-
cludes frank expression of sexual desires and interests and that often
fosters restrictive and damaging attitudes toward sexual realities. It is
doubtful whether animals, and perhaps even some primitive tribes, are
much bothered by problems of sexual adjustment; but animals are not
human and are not governed by moral law, social necessities and restric-
tions, and the demands of modem family life; nor are some primitive
peoples faced with the same sexual realities that are part of modem
society. Thus we are faced with the necessity of effecting a good adjust-
ment in the area of sexual behavior; and, unless we do, the chances of
effective mental and emotional adjustment are not promising.

Premarital Sexual Problems

In this part of our discussion we are confining ourselves to premarital
sex problems,12 because those that arise after marriage are a part of the
general problem of marital adjustment, to which we shall tum in the
following chapter. The two phases of the total problem are closely
related, and what we have to say here has an important bearing on sexual
adjustment in marriage. Prominent among premarital sexual problems are
the following.
1. Inadequate or immoral sexual behavior, including masturbation, pet-
ting, necking, sexual intercourse, and adolescent crushes
2. Inadequate sex identification, which reflects immaturity in psycho-
sexual development, and may involve tendencies toward homo-
sexuality
3. Obsessive ideas and compulsions regarding sex, which often lead to
sexual aberrations and unacceptable conduct
4. Restrictive and damaging sexual attitudes that preclude normal hetero-

12 There are numerous books and articles dealing with premarital sex problems.
See, for example, Wile, 1. S. The sex problems of youth. J. soc. Hyg., 1930, 16, 413-
427; Schneiders, A. A. Tbe psycbology of adolescence, Milwaukee: Bruce, 1951,
Chap. X, especially pp. 201-216. Tucker, T. F. Sex problems and youtb. London:
AlI,n & Unwin, 1941; Tho"". Op. Ch,p. XU. ~
,i,., 439
Varieties of Adjustment

sexual relations and often stand in the way of adequate social de-
velopment
5. Feelings of anxiety, fear, and guilt regarding sex ~n all its forms
6. Deep-seated mental conflicts that. center around sexual desires and
behavior. '\

One can see, of course, that these problems are clos~ly interrelated. Im-
proper sexual behavior gives rise to feelings of guilt or shame; inadequate
sex identification may cause considerable anxiety; and obsessive ideas of
sex lead to fear, conflict, or improper sexual conduct.
Premarital sexual problems have many causes and many different
ramifications; and it is not an easy matter to formulate effective principles
of sexual adjustment. Sexual problems and maladjustments reflect in part
the reactions of people to cultural and social demands and restrictions,
failure to reach an adequate level of maturity, weakness in self-control,
damaging and restrictive sexual attitudes on the part of parents, group
pressures that enforce conformity, lax or poorly developed moral prin-
ciples, and defective personality integration~ In some instances, the diffi-
culty may reflect inadequate physical development or fixation at an
earlier response level. Poor sex identification is often associated with
slowness or failure in the development of sex organs or of secondary
sex characteristics. The adolescent boy, for example, may present femi-
nine characteristics that make it difficult for him to identify adequately
with his own sex. Fixation can produce the same effe~ts, and both may be
the forerunners of homoerotic tendencies, including crushes and frankly
homosexual behavior. It should be understood, therefore, that some cases
of sexual maladjustment, because of the nature of the cause, may be
extremely resistant to treatment or to the application of principles of
adjustment. Nevertheless, there are many instances in which such prin-
ciples can be put to good use.
Nature and Principles of Sexual Adjustment and H:jgiene
~-
The formulation of acceptable principles of sexual adjustment will de-
pend on the way such adjustment is interpreted. Some writers, for
example, do not hesitate to suggest the free expression of sexual desire
as a means of ridding oneself of sexual conflicts or frustrations. From
our viewpoint, such a "solution" only complicates the problem, 'and thus
falls outside the concept of adequate sexual adjustment. It is not by giving
in to sexual impulses that adjustment is achieved; rather, it is knowing
how to regulate them in an orderly, integrated manner that is most im-
portant from the standpoint of sex hygiene. . -/:-------__ /
The concept of sexual adjustment is complex and many-sided; but
basically it implies the capacity to react to sexual realities-impulses,
desires, thoughts, confiicts, frustrations, guilt feelings, and sex differences
/'

440
 Personal and Social Adjustment

-in a mature, integrated, and disciplined manner that conforms to the

demands of morality and society. This capacity requires sound, whole-
some attitudes regarding sex; the ability to defer sexual expression; an
adequate heterosexual orientation; disciplined control of thought and
behavior; and a healthy identification of self with the sex role one is
supposed to play. This ideal is not easy to achieve; but knowing what
constitutes it is a first step toward its achievement.
On the basis of this interpretation, then, we can formulate several
basic rules or principles for achieving sexual adjustment. 13
1. Adequate sex information and knowledge is the foremost prin-
ciple. This knowledge should extend to the physical, psychological, social,
and moral facts and implications regarding sex; it should be acquired
gradually throughout childhood and adolescence, and imparted by per·
sons (usually the parents) who are qualified to give instructions along
these lines.
2. The development of wholesome, objective, desensitized, and moral
attitudes regarding sex and the problems associated with it should result
from sex knowledge, correctly imparted. A wholesome attitude is per-
haps the most important principle governing sex hygiene, because so
many sexual difficulties stem from restrictive and damaging attitudes. 14
Feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety; sexual frigidity; chronic conflict
and a sense of frustration can be mitigated to an important degree by the
develo'pment of wholesome attitudes based on an adequate knowledge of
sexual development and behavior (Figure 30). We are not suggesting that
guilt and shame in relation to sexual experience and behavior are always
abnormal or damaging; but in many cases such feelings reflect lack of
knowledge or poor attitudes rather than immoral behavior. Adolescents
might experience anyone of these feelings in connection with menstru-
ation or nocturnal emissions, because they do not understand these phe-
nomena. Similarly, damaging information regarding the effects of mas-
turbation often leads to deep-seated anxieties that are not justified by
the actual facts, even though it is agreed that masturbation is morally
13 A similar statement of principles will be found in Tyson. Op. cit., pp. 39-41,
57--60; Fromme. Op. elt., Chap. IV, especially pp. 85-89.
14 There is practically universal agreement among the writers in the field of
sex adjustment and hygiene that adequate and wholesome instruction is essential to
good adjustment. See, for example, Kirkendall, L. A. Sex education as human rela-
tions. New York: Inor, 1950, Chap. II; Allers, R. Sex psychology in education. (Trans.
by S. A. Raemers.) St. Louis: Herder, 1937; Schneiders. Op. cit., pp. 216-223.
O'Brien, J. A. Sex-Character education. New York: Macmillan, 1953; Nash, E.
Mental hygiene and sex education. Understanding the Child, 1948, 17, 111-112;
Brown, H. W, Sex education in the home. New York: American Social Hygiene
Association, 1952; Bruckner, P. J. How to give sex instructions. St. Louis: Queen's
Work, 1937; Magner, J. A. Personality and successful living. Milwaukee: Bruce,
1944, pp. 68, 69; Fry, C. C., & Rostow, A. G. Mental health in college. New York:
Commonw,~d, Fund, 1942, pp. 97, 114. ~ . 441
Varieties of Adjustment

SOU~~OF . _________________#-__~E_F~F~E~C~T__+_*_--------------~
INFORMATION GOOD BAD I SOTH GOOD AND SAD

(11.2%)

Pred'ominanfly (8.6%)
wholesome

Both (18.2%)
wholesome
and
unwholesome

I
Fig. 30-Comparison of sex information with effects. Each figure
represents 5 per cent of the group supplying the information. It is
clear from this illustration that unwho~esome sex information can
have widespread detrimental effects on young people. From Fleege,
U. H. Self-revelation of the adolescent boy. Milwaukee: Bruce, 1945.
Reprinted by permission.
....,.__
wrong, psychologically detrimental, and naturally results-in feelings of
shame and guilt. It is especially in matter_:; of this kind that knowledge
and perspective are basic to the preservation of emotional stability and-
sound mental health.
3. The integration of sex desires and inclinations with mOTal prin-
ciples and social responsibilities is required by sound hygiene. This means
that sexual tendencies and expressions must be brought into line with the
rules of right conduct. Magner says very pointedly, /
. ..,r---_
Of cou~se, much depends upon our definitions. But if we define
happiness as activity conformable to right order or the fulfillment of
desire in accordance with our general good, we are immediately con-

442
 Personal and Social Adjustment

fronted with the problem of self-discipline. Self-discipline means govern-

ing oneself and one's appetites according to good reason and judgment,
and it applies both to persons and to things.

Emphasis must be placed on self-discipline, for it is only on this basis

that a person can live maturely and creatively. External guidance and
correctives are generally necessary for the formation of character and
the development of sane attitudes and habits; but unless this discipline,
imposed from the outside, becomes assimilated by the individual for
his own guidance and personal responsibility, its value is very smal1. 15

And again,
The art of developing a Christian personality is a composite art and
study. It embraces a right outlook on life, sound and tested principles
of action, personal habits in conformity with law, and self-discipline of
appetites. These requirements are nowhere more true and urgent than
in that aspect of personality denominated sex. To the extent that a
person has mastered the problems arising from sex and turned the im-
pulses of the flesh into strong and generous well-springs of symp:lthy
and lofty action, he has learned the mastery of life itself. In ,reverse,
warped and confused mentality on the subject can beget habits and
attitudes far beyond the immediate range of sexual activity and can
manifest itself in various forms of personal maladjustment and mischief. 16

Sexual intercourse before marriage is precluded because it is morally

and socially unacceptable. It is therefore damaging to the integrity of
both persons. The integration of sexual life with moral principles is
psychologically sound because it is a positive rather than a negative
approach to the problem. To forego sexual expression merely because
of social taboos, fear of pregnancy, or some similar motive often aggra-
vates emotional difficulties because it is likely to lead to conflict or frus-
tration; but to do so because it is morally right is the first and most
important step toward the resolution of conflict and the reduction of
tension. When this step is taken, conflict becomes a means of reaching
a higher level of integration and control. You will recall that this fact
was emphasized much earlier in our discussion of mental conflict in
Chapter Eight.

15 Magner, J. A. Personality and successful living. Milwaukee: Bruce, 1944, pp.

52, 53. Reprinted by permission. See also pp. 64-66 and Chap. Five.
16 Magnet; J. A. Personality and successful living. Milwaukee: Bruce, 1944, p. 67.

Reprinted by permission. See also Moore, T. V. The driving forces of human nature.
New York: Grune & Stratton, 1948, pp. 248-250; Sheen F. J. Peace of soul. New
York: McGraw-Hill, 1949, Chap. VIII, especially p. 153. Bishop Sheen trenchantly
reminds us that "there is no surer formula for discon~t than to try to satisfy our
cravings for the ocean of Infinite Love from the teacu . of finite satisfactions."

., 443
Varieties of Adjustment

4. Sexual adjustment necessitates learning to defer sexual expression

in the interest of morality and good adjustment. This principle is not essen-
tially different from the principle of integration~ but it must be empha-
sized that in our society, where marriage is usually postponed for years
after physical maturation has been reached, it ,is necessary to learn to
defer sexual expression. This principle is not sq important in societies
where marriage follows closely on the heels of physical maturation; but
it is becoming increasingly important in our society because so many
persons marry late. You will note that this principle of deferment is
similar to the concept of frustration tolerance defined in Chapter Nine.
In our society, sexual frustration is unavoidable if one is to follow social
and moral laws, and therefore deferment and tolerance become essential
parts of sexual adjustmentY
5. Understanding the consequences and outcomes of sexual conduct
furthers the achievement of these various aims. Naivete in the matter of
sexual behavior and relations can easily lead to improper conduct and,
what is often worse, emotionally damaging experiences. We may be sure
that many unwed mothers did not understand the possible consequences
of their conduct. The development of such understanding is, of course,
an essential part of the program of sex education referred to earlier in
our discussion of sex information and knowledge. Young, unmarriJd
people, especially, need to learn about the social, moral, psychological,
and even physical consequences of sexual behavior. They need to know
about the possibility of pregnancy, why masturbation is psychologieally
as well as morally harmful, the evils of necking and petting, the dangers
of venereal infection, the harmful effects of obscene literature and con-
versation, and the obsessive qualities of sexual imagery, thoughts, and
desires. They need to know all these things so that they will become
better equipped to control, defer, and integrate sexual tendencies and
behavior in a way that is morally and socially acceptable and, at the same
time, will develop wholesome, objective attitudes regarding sexual realities.
6. The attainment of sexual maturit y 18 is the fillal~and __~qst impor-
tant principle of sexual adjustment. This principle is so important because
it actually contains all the others. It means knowing the important facts
about sex and understanding the consequences of sexual behavior; it rn_eans
the control and integration of sexual thoughts, impulses, and acts; it
means the adequate resolution of conflict and the reduction of tensions
generated by sexual frustration; and it means the achievement of whole-
some attitudes regarding sex. Just as adjustment itself, as we have noted
repeatedly, requires maturity, so, too, does sexual adj_ustment. It is im-
portant for us to realize that the phenomeQa.,.or~ex, including the laws,
mores, and taboos that regulate it, are an aspect of reality to which we
17 See Vaughan. Op. cit., pp. 38-39.
18 See Overstreet, H. A. Tbe mature mind. :!j:ew York: Norton, 1949, pp. 241-242.

444
 Personal and Social Adjustment

must adjust as we do to other aspects of reality; and in all these adjust-

ments maturity is a primary determining factor.
The foregoing principles have to do only with sex hygiene and adjust-
ment and not with the entire complex problem of how sexual impulses
may be controlled. This would involve another set of principles just as
important as those already formulated. For example, it is a widely recog-
nized principle that sexual difficulties can be avoided or reduced by
eliminating the causes and conditions that contribute to sexual delinquency,
including obscene literature, sexy movies, and persons, places, and things
that stimulate the sexual drive. It is also known that sexual urges can be
effectively sublimated into channels of activity that are morally and
socially acceptable. This is one of the most effective means of regulating
sexual impulses. Vigorous physical activity in work and sports, intense
preoccupation with hobbies and other recreational diversions, and social
interests are also helpful in the reduction of sexual difficulties. Nor must
we overlook the possibility of invoking strong moral principles and
religious ideals and using prayer and the sacraments as powerful instru-
ments in the control of sexual impulses and behavior.19 You can see that
these principles, however important and necessary to sex hygiene, are of
a different kind than those originally stated. Our primary aim was to
determine the. psychological conditions necessary to effective adjustment
in the area of sexual behavior.

MORAL AND RELIGIOUS ADJUSTMENT

Morality, Adjustment, and Mental Health

A number of times in these discussions of human adjustment we have
had occasion to emphasize the importance of moral principles for effective
living and mental health. Just as we must observe principles of physical
hygiene to maintain physical health, and principles of mental hygiene for
the sake of mental health, so we must meet the demands of morality in
an efficient and wholesome manner in the interest of complete adjustment.
Moral laws are an important aspect of reality, and morality itself is an
essential part of human nature. Therefore, it is just as impossible to be
morally deficient and at the same time well adjusted as it is to be emo-
tionally disturbed and well adjusted. We must dispossess ourselves of the
notion, supported by the Freudian theory of the superego, that morality is
merely the interiorization of parental restrictions and social mores. On
the contrary, moral laws are objective, and morality, in the best sense
of the term, is a volitional disposition to acccept and to act in terms of
self-imposed moral laws and principles. 20
19 See the author's treatment of the problem of autosexuality in The psychology
of adolescence, p. 207.
20 See Trinite, P. de lao Objective and subjective ~rality. In Jesus-Marie, B. de.

'tJ 445
r