Close Relationship:

Membangun dan
Memelihara Hubungan

MK Interaksi Sosial

Pertemuan 7
Departemen Psikologi Kepribadian dan Sosial

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Attachment
• It was firstly introduced to explain the dynamics of relation between the baby and the
caregiver.
• However, Bowlby (1969) argues that attachment is not limited to explaining the
relationship between the baby and the caregiver. Attachment is present in every stage
of human life.
• Furthermore, Hazan and Shaver (1987) classified several attachment styles based on
its pattern shown in the relationship between the baby and the caregiver. The
classification is subsequently used to explain the dynamics of relation between the
baby and the caregiver as well as between two adults.
– Secure attachment
– Avoidant attachment
– Anxious attachment
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…cont’d

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…cont’d
• Subsequent research had demonstrated that attachment style arisen from the
relationship between the baby and the caregiver affects how the baby develop
romantic relationships as an adult (Feeney & Noller, 1990).
– Same research also suggests that individual with secure attachment tend to choose to build romantic
relationship with another securely attached individual.
– Avoidant attached individual tend to be less satisfied and more susceptible to stress when building
relationship with others, as well as growing relationship with their children.
• A study conducted by Brennan and Shaver (1995) had showed that:
– Securely attached individual is easier to shape romantic/close relationship with others as well as enjoys a
long-term relationship.
– Avoidant attached individual tends to feel deep discomfort when shaping relationship with others and tends to
be jealousy and reserved.
– Anxiously attached individuals were reported to be too easy to fall in love, even though they are more
probable in developing a rocky relationship. Too much extreme conflicts contribute to their unhappiness.
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What is Love?
• “….an intense feeling of deep affection” (Oxford English Dictionary)
• “…strong affection of for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.” (Merriam-
Webster)
• “…suka sekali, sayang benar” (KBBI)
• “…beginilah cinta, deritanya tiada akhir” (Cu Pat Kai)
• “…a combination of emotions, cognitions and behaviours that can be involved in
intimate relationship” (Hogg & Vaughan, 2012)
• Sexual arousal? Lust?

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Kinds of Love
• Aristotle’s typology
– Eros: lust
– Philia: friendship
– Agape: unconditional love
• Fehr’s typology (1994)
– Passionate love tenderness, sexuality, elation and pain, anxiety, altruism and jealousy.
– Companionate love less intense, but combining feelings of friendly affection and deep attachment.
• Love as a labelling process three-factor theory (Hatfield & Walster 1981)
Love is a product of three interacting determinant variables:
1. Cultural determinants that define love as a form/dimension of feelings.
2. The presence of love object – in certain culture, social norm is strictly applied in terms of love
objects (it has to be opposite sex or in the same cohorts)
3. Emotional arousal; a kind of feelings that appears when someone directly
meets/interacts/thinks about his/her love objects.
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Sternberg’s Triangular Theory

• Robert Sternberg (1988) introduced a model to explain the dynamics of romantic
relationships which includes:
– Passion: sexual attraction
– Commitment: strong intention to hold on/stay in/maintain relationship
– Intimacy: feelings of warmth, closeness and sharing

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…cont’d
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Rusbult’s Invesment Theory

• Inspired by the spirit of social exchange theory (maximizing reward and reducing
cost) and interdependence of relationship.
• Rusbult (1980) identified several sets of variables that support and/or hinder
satisfaction and commitment in regards to romantic relationships.

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Equation 1

Ox: outcome value of relationship

wi: subjective importance
ai: individual’s subjective estimate of outcome
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Equation 2

SATx: satisfaction of relationship

Ox: outcome value of relationship
CL: comparison level

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Equation 3

Ay: alternative association

Oy: outcome value of alternative association
CL: comparison level
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Equation 4

Ix: investment in relationship X

wj: importance of investment j
rj: size of investment

Extrinsic investment
Intrinsic investment

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Equation 5

COMx: level of commitment in relationship x

Ox: outcome value of relationship x
Ix: investment in relationship x
Oy: alternative outcome value
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Maintaining relationships
• Research carried out by Cotton, Cunningham and Antill (1993) reported that:
– Husbands and wives reported high level of marital satisfactions if they have known/maintained
relationships with their partners’ significant others.
• Marital commitment
• Readjustment
• To err is human, to forgive is divine
• Adam & Jones (1997) argued that there are three main factors that are capable of
keeping relationships strong:
– Personal dedication: positive attractions to partners
– Moral commitment: a sense of obligation
– Constraint commitment: other factors that make us think twice before deciding to leave