I DON'T THINK I AM MAN ENOUGH

7 guaranteed easy steps of getting any lady to accept you

By

Obulezi Okechukwu Jeremiah

INTRODUCTION

It is not unusual to be shy whenever a

young man meets his crush. However, when
this continues to be tolerated in a young
man's life it can ruin his chances of
getting to settle down with his dream

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wife. Nervousness in the presence of
strangers or people we meet the first
time is one of the major setbacks in a
relationship. The approach to this
problem is the reason for its lingering
effects on a man's life. Indeed if the
problem of insecurity in the presence of
strange faces can be taken seriously just
as any other human problems then solving
the problem becomes easier in other to
reduce the level of rejections from the
ladies you admire. In this book, the
author has identified from personal
experience and other people's experiences
7 guaranteed easy steps of winning a
lady's heart.

1. DEVELOP SOCIAL CONFIDENCE

It is a common deficiency to be nervous

before people, especially people we are
meeting for the first time vis-a-vis
strangers. Although this human deficiency

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is associated with temperament yet there
is a degree of nervousness associated
with each of the four major temperaments
due to human imperfection. Social
scientists have discovered that this
problem of lack of social confidence can
be overcome by practising conversation
with people in the office, business
premises, neighbourhood, market Square,
school environment, shopping mall, gym
etc. The most important thing about
solving this problem is problem
identification. When a growing young man
does not see it as a concern, his
inability to win a ladies heart then it
becomes most difficult for the fellow to
be guided on how to go about the problem.
To develop strength in conversation one
must adopt the following methods:
● Approach people at work and School.
● Comment on issues to engage in
conversations.

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 ● Practice conversations in a
low-pressure environment to help you
manage stage fright.

2. PERSONAL PACKAGING

There is a saying that you are addressed

the way you dress. You will agree with me
that a man's value and worth have a
connection with the way he conducts or
packages himself. Personal packaging
includes how one talks, how one opens up
a conversation and one's voice texture.
Voice texture here simply means the up
and down movement of the tune. It is the
harshness or softness that can be picked
from the voice. Yes, some people are
naturally harsh or mean in their voice
which may or may not reflect their true
personality, that is, their character,
however, this can bring a total mess to
oneself in the presence of a new face.
Essentially, therefore, it is preferable

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to stage-manage one's voice at any first
impression. Similarly the way a young man
dresses can as well speak volume about
his personality. Guys who are fond of
dressing down will usually get snubbed by
their crush. So it is advised that a guy
should practice mixing up his choices of
dress since one cannot tell when the
right lady will cross his path. Also,
packaging entails your mental capacity to
engage in conversation. Mind you, some
ladies are versed in the knowledge of so
many issues. Sometimes they pretend not
to know. However, taking that pretence
for granted might cause you that
relationship. It is therefore important
that you equip yourself with adequate
information about whatever you're going
to discuss at that meeting point. Some
occasion demands that you put up
something on the table like coffee or any
drink of your choices depending on where
you met her. So it is not expected that

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when you are meeting a lady for the first
time you don't have any money with you.
Yes, you could argue this but the truth
is that there is no love without giving.
It is a good way of starting and it shows
your class because no lady will be
comfortable with a non-caring guy. You
must prove that you are financially
capable and understand what to do at
every given time. For instance, if you
see a lady on the road while you are
driving and decide to put up a
conversation and that leads to taking her
out to an eatery or recreation centre. To
join you in your car, courtesy demands
that you open the passenger's door and
let her in before you enter your driver's
position to drive her because it is said
ladies first.

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 3. IDENTIFY CONVERSATION TIMING

There are times when a lady is not

disposed to engage in a conversation
either with same-sex or opposite-sex or
old-time friend or a new face. Your
ability to identify the state of being of
a lady at any given time will reduce the
number of rejections you get from them.
Sometimes the place a lady is found can
also prevent any conversation with a new
face.

You can approach a lady when you see the

following things:
● If she is in a relaxed mood and
showing open body language.
● When she sent several glances and or
smiles your way

Do not approach a lady when you see the

following things:
● When she looks upset.

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 ● When she's deeply preoccupied with
something. Interacting with her will
make a bad first impression.
Essentially, it feels good when both
parties are well disposed of in a
conversation and it helps to make
meaningful debates. Therefore for a young
man whose interest is wooing a lady, he
should take cognizance of the mood of the
lady at the time of the intended
discussion and the meeting point. This
way, you will be maximizing the
opportunity of meeting her. In another
school of thought, you can as well cash
in on the bad mood of a lady by being a
solution to the immediate problem leading
to the bad mood. You can do this by
asking a question like this 'hi, lady why
is your mood like this?' or 'hi, your
face is not good, what is wrong?'

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CREATING INSTANT CONNECTION WITH THE EYES

Eye-look sends powerful signals and it's

an important means of communication. It
helps to establish emotional contact
between two persons. It can be used to
warn or appeal. Looking at someone from a
distance for a long time without
approaching the person may make you seem
creepy rather than friendly. Once eye
contact is established, approach the lady
with a smile and trigger the conversation
following this method;
You can start by direct conversation like
this, I noticed you from the outdoors and
I knew that if I didn't introduce myself
I'd be knocking myself all day. You can
ask her for a social favour like, 'hi I'm
new here and don't know anyone, would you
mind if I talk to you for a minute?' If
you already know each other loosely, you
may want to bring up a class you were in
together or a party you both attended.

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Avoid political or religious issues since
your interests may not be the same and
hence such conversation may lead to an
unending debate and this may not mean
well for the supposed relationship. It is
important to understand that no matter
how often you practice on your own to
strengthen your social conversation you
will still be nervous talking to your
crush. If you are nervous don't hope she
will not notice because she likely will.
Instead, confront the nervousness by
addressing it in the conversation. Say
something like this 'I'm always so
nervous when I meet new people. If you
want to compliment her, you could say I
can't help but be a bit nervous when I'm
talking to such a pretty lady. Let your
conversation have a purpose. Don't simply
introduce yourself and allow the
conversation to fizzle out immediately.
Try making a friendly observation if
she's interested in doing so.

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 4. APPROACH FROM THE SIDE

It is not usually advisable to come

face-to-face in establishing a
conversation with a lady you're meeting
for the first time. Because more often
than not ladies will always fidget or be
sceptical of such boldness. In the same
way, it is not also good to approach a
lady from behind since that could be
threatening and could raise suspicion
that you are a foe rather than a friend.
So a cuny but an acceptable form of
approaching a lady for the first time is
coming by the side so that she will be
able to see you and prepare for your
presence than taking her unaware. This
approach shows that you are harmless.

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6. ESTABLISH THAT YOU'RE WORTH TALKING TO

Ladies are apprehensive of the opposite

sex at the first meeting if the following
questions are not satisfactorily answered
by the first impression with the new guy.
● What does he want from me?
● Is it someone I can trust?
● Is it worth my trust?
The above three questions find their
answers in the overall conduct which
includes your body language, your choice
of words, your voice texture, your
appearance, your hairstyle, your sense of
smell etc. Ladies prefer humorous guys to
serious-minded fellows. The latter is
assumed to be reading scripts that they
practised. Making a lady relaxed in a
conversation through making the
conversation homely well settle the mind
of the lady and you are winning already.
Realise as well that to settle the mind
of a lady with you, you can tell some

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lies or fake your life. This of course
you know has to change because once the
relationship is established it has to be
based on truth. Use body language that
shows you are friendly.

7. COLLECT TO CONNECT

At this point, the lady is a bit settled

to continue the conversation therefore it
is time for you to extend the
conversation beyond the first meeting
point. Despite how the lady may have
accepted to continue the discussion,
don't rule out the possibility of her
refusing to give you her contacts. So
politely, you can start this way, 'are
you on social media?' If the answer is
yes, you can further the request by
asking her 'would you mind me connecting
with you on Facebook, for instance?' That
way, you can predict whether she will be
able to release her phone number to you

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as well. Whichever approach gives you a
safe landing on collecting her phone
number you can use. In any case at this
point, your target is to ensure you have
her phone number. As much as it is
possible for you, emotional discipline is
expected of you when you meet a lady for
the first time. For instance, if
eventually, she releases her phone number
to you, it is not an opportunity for you
to be sending nude images or begin to
talk about sex or discussions that will
make her feel unease with you since you
are just starting the relationship and
you intend to build this relationship for
a long time if not at the end settling
down with her. Continue being thrilling
and humorous you have been during the
first impression. This is to allow her
time to consolidate the impressions you
have created during your first meeting.
You can use your social media handle to
post comedy-related contents. It is

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ingratitude not to thank her after she
must have given you her phone number as
well as not good when you get home
without giving her a call to know whether
she has got home.

In a nutshell, accepting the fact that

nervousness in the presence of a stranger
is a deficiency in socialization is a key
to finding a lasting solution to many
rejections by ladies a young man desires.
The deliberate practising on how to
engage properly in a discussion with a
stranger beginning with people in the
workplace, in the neighbourhood and
school environment could help improve or
strengthen your social confidence. Again
a well-packaged guy is likely to win the
heart of a Lady than one who is dressed
in an uncalled-for way. Establishing eye
contact can send a serious signal but
beginning and continuing the discussion
will make more sense. Every lady expects

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to meet a young man who is trustworthy
and friendly therefore if you want to win
the heart of a lady be the one they are
looking for. No matter how bold you are,
you must avoid an onlooker method of
approaching a lady. Rather, it is
suggested that approaching from the side
makes a lady secure and enables her to
prepare for your presence. Above all, do
all within the skills you have learnt in
this book to ensure that after meeting a
lady you do not go your way without
collecting her contact either that of
mobile phone or social media handle.

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