Living Under a Shadow

Most celebrities are inspirational, living in the limelight, they attract attention. Attention

means more money which is an advancement in the fame industry, but for an awed struck fan it

means a one sided relationship. An interest in a public icon can easily turn into an unhealthy

habit; with the rise of social media fans are allowed more interaction with their idols. Most

celebrities use social media to advertise their talents or businesses but many fans follow

celebrities in hopes for a response. As the world becomes more viral, it’s hard for one not to feel

that people are beginning to become detached from the ones that actually matter in their lives.

The youth today is able to instantly connect to the cyber world with just a few quick taps on their

smartphones. Mass amount of information is available but many people use it to feed unhealthy

desires. A celebrity crush can turn from innocent into a fan becoming estranged from the people

who care most for their well-being. Fame is not only an issue in the modern world but also in the

ancient times. Eastern and Western philosophers Lao Tzu and Marcus Aurelius pointed out the

outcomes of fame and how it can cause a negative effect on people. Lao Tzu was an ancient

Chinese philosopher and Marcus Aurelius was a Roman philosopher and both made clear points

on how fame can ruin one’s life. On the modern side, American rapper, record producer and

actor Eminem is able to explain this phenomenon with his song "Stan” in his album Marshall

Mathers LP (2000), in which an obsessed individual commits a “murder suicide” and blames his

idol “Slim Shady” for not responding to his fan mail. In the song a grown man named Stan was

able to feel rejected by his idol leading him to lose control and lash out, most children are more

sensitive than adults because they have not yet developed the skills to deal with rejection, which

can cause a young fan to act out in attention seeking behavior if an idol is unresponsive. Stan’s

obsession with “Slim Shady” exemplifies the unhealthy attachment a person, can develop with a
celebrity. The youth today has a 24 hour availability to their favorite stars thru social media,

which consumes a great amount of time, costs a lot of money and is harmful for the mental

wellbeing of a person. Because children are easily lead, adopting an obsession with a celebrity

can cause them to lose their identity to the point that their fanaticism can ruin their relationships

with loved one.

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor disapproves celebrity obsession as he calls the

cheering of other people ‘the clacking of tongues’ which means public appraisal. He says that

everyone who puts his talent out there for the public to honor or anyone who works for the public

eye and exposes their entire life for the world to consume should always remember this phrase.

He always reminded himself about the emptiness of fame in most of his meditations. For

instance, he reminded himself to always consider the lives that were led by people who died long

time ago, the lives that will be led by other people who will come after him and the lives people

are living presently in foreign lands. He wonders how many people do not even know his name

and how many will forget I soon after he is gone. He also wonders how many people praise him

now just to contempt him tomorrow. He concludes that fame is worthless, just like everything

else included to be remembered when he is gone. From his point of view, it was worthless for

Stan to take his own life juts because Eminem did not recognize his obsession with him. Just like

any other person, Eminem will soon be gone and the world will not even remember him after a

while. However, even if the world will remember him, it will be worthless.

Consequently, Lao Tzu, one of the greatest Chinese philosophers disregards celebrity

obsession because he believes that integrity is more important than faem, the saem way

happiness is more important than money.he taght that looking up to others for your happiness

and fulfillment is a lost cause because one can only achieve fulfillment by looking within
themselves. He further taught that people who depend on money for their happiness will never

be happy with themselves. According to him, people should be content with what they have and

rejoice in the way things and situations are. One can only have the world after the realization that

nothing is lacking at all. In this case Stan was obsessed with Eminem and he believed that he

would only be fulfilled if Eminem recognized him. This is why he committed suicide because he

tied his happiness to someone else. Had he realized that he had everything he needed without

Eminem, he could have led a better life.

A child’s personality can be lost from spending a great amount of time obsessing over a

celebrity causing distance within a family. According to Lao tzu “In the second verse of “Stan”

the lyrics read as, “My girlfriend's jealous because I talk about you 24/7” (Eminem 22). This

sentence display’s the behavior of an individual who is so consumed in his infatuation with the

character “Slim Shady” that he does not seem to care much for the important parts of his life,

such as his pregnant girlfriend. In this line Stan acknowledges that his relationship is being

negatively affected by his obsession for a celebrity but he does not care to fix this problem.

Eminem is able to exhibit the “time” obsession can consume for an individual within that one

versus. The crazed fan’s obsession is also evident because he admits spending an unhealthy

amount of time devoted to writing, listening, and collecting Slim Shady’s stuff and not focusing

on the priorities in his life. Stan’s obsession is an excellent example of the damage a person’s

infatuation with a celebrity can cause in a relationship. Again the line summarized that “Stan”

knew his mate was unhappy because he was not spending enough time with her, nonetheless he

continued to feed his addiction not caring for his partners emotions. The character in the song

was an adult but he developed a deep bond with an artist in his head, some children, especially
lonely children have creative imagination that can lead to obsessive tendencies if they “worship”

a particular celebrity and can end up wasting plenty of time on cyberstalking a star. Just as Stan

selfishly lost sight of time consumed in his obsession, a child can easily lose track of time

following a celebrity on “Instagram” and other social media websites, the average American teen

can spent countless hours on the internet, especially if they are not monitored. Time management

is not the best skill for many young people, thus a teen that admires a celebrity will undoubtedly

spent many hours “tweeting” or “retweeting” a favorite celebrity not realizing that time is

valuable and who they decide to invest it in is crucial.

Marcus also points out in his teachings that people who are more excited about fame

forget that all the people in the world who remember them today will soon die too. Those after

them will also soon die and their memory will be passes from one person to another just like a

candle flames, it gutters and then soon goes off. He tells people to give themselves the present of

this moment and enjoy it without worrying too much about fame or obsessing with celebrities.

He believes that people who tirelessly seek fame have just forgotten that the coming generation

will be composed of the same people they know now and they will be as annoying as they are

now. Therefore, it does not matter what the world says or thinks about someone. This should be

an insight to children who keep following celebrities on social media. They should know that

those celebrities post just to be recognized and appraised. They do not need stalkers sending

them direct messages expressing how in love they are with these celebrities. Marcus does not see

the need of seeking fame because as long as one is talented he/she should try and do their best in

every situation and avoid chasing fame. This is because fame only ties ones wellbeing to what

other people say.

 Similarly, Lao Tzu believes that desiring fame is one way that brings people down. He

believes that people should retire immediately their work is done and stop chasing fame. It is the

way of the Tao to withdraw in a natural manner once the work is done. Therefore, those children

who waste their time on social media to a point of forgetting about their loved ones should

rethink their lives. Chasing a celebrity just to become as famous is not good according to Lao

Tzu. He taught that excessive desires maddens the mind the same way excessive possessions

causes anxiety and fear. He further teaches that the more a person desires, the more he/she gets

disconnected with what really matters. In this case, if children in this generation keep desiring

fame and celebrity lifestyle, they will get more and more disconnected from what really matters

and this includes their family members, their school work and their life in general. Sage,

according to Taoism satisfies his inner desires with what cannot be seen from within and not

with the world’s external temptations.

Having an attachment to a celebrity is unhealthy, especially for a child because it ruins

their personal relationships. Obsession takes a lot of time and money plus it is taxing for the

mental well-being of a person. Although a lonely child can find comfort in favoring a celebrity

their relationship will not be as fulfilling as connecting with a person that is available to return

their love.  A healthy relationship requires two people putting in an equal amount of effort to

form a bond. Parents and child caregivers can prevent children from developing unhealthy

relationships by being more active in a child’s life. Parents would be wise to make sure their

children can feel comfortable with their parents as a confidant. Also parents need to discuss

topics like “celebrity worshipping” with their children so their child can become more aware

about the media's influence. Educating a child on the negative side of being famous will also

broaden their perspective and they will understand that it is not always just “gilt and glam.” A
child should be encouraged to discover his or her own identity and not fall into following the

next celebrity trend.

In order to understand how bad cutting ties with real people for the sake of maintaining

online relationship is, it is important to note that Marcus argues that to be disconnected from

human nature is equivalent to cutting one’s own limbs. Those people who get obsessed with

celebrities thus they keep sending them pictures and videos without getting even a single reply

while avoiding real human connections can be said to have lost their own limbs. They are in a

world full of people but they are living an imagined life in delusional relationships. Marcus urges

people to always to always strive to maintain a moderate mind and to always live connected to

other people. This is a clear indication that he did not view celebrity obsession as healthy. On the

other hand, Lao Tzu believed that people should always be happy with whatever they have. This

included people in their life thus they should cherish healthy and physical relationships with real

people.