en ts

Pres

POSITIVE STRATEGIES
TO BUILD
DISCIPLINE WITHOUT
PUNISHMENT

2nd,  November  2017  

Facilitated by

Shareen Ratnani

 What  we  see  

What  we  
Need  to  see  
 Discipline   Teaches:  
Knows  
effec>ve  ways   Is  well   Knows  
Knows  self-­‐
to  solve   behaved     boundaries  
control  
problems   and  limits  
 PUNISHMENT  DOESN’T  WORK    

•  It  makes  the  child  hate  himself  and  others  

•  Children  who  are  spanked  for  their  misbehaviour  think  they  
have  ‘paid’  for  it  and  can  misbehave  again  
•  The  adult  is  seQng  an  example  of  using  violence  to  seSle  
problems.  Children  imitate  you  
•  When  your  child  is  as  tall  and  strong  as  you,  you  cant  use  it    
•  Medical  studies  and  research  show  that  there  is  a  link  
between  corporal  punishment  and  aggression  in  children.  
These  children  are  more  prone  to  being  depressed  and  have  
low    academic  performance.  
 WHAT  CHILDREN  REALLY  NEED  
All  genuine  needs  should  be  met.  But  when  you  give  in  
to  all  of  your  child's  wants,  you  can  create  huge  
problems  for  your  child  and  for  yourself.  
B  
E  
L  
O  
N  
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I  
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 R
E
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S U
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L A
F   T
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O
N  
PERSONAL  POWER  
SOCIAL  AND  LIFE  SKILLS  
 Ten  Methods  for  Implemen>ng  
Posi>ve  Discipline  
1.  Get  children  involved  
2.    Teach  respect  by  being  respecYul.  
3.    Use  your  sense  of  humor.  
4.    Get  into  your  child's  world.  
5.    Say  what  you  mean,  arid  then  follow  through    with  
 kindness  and  firmness.  
6.    Be  pa>ent.  
7.    Act,  don't  talk—and  supervise  carefully.  
8.    Accept  and  appreciate  your  child's  uniqueness.  
9.    Posi>ve  Reinforcement    
10.  Consequences  
 1.  GET  CHILDREN  INVOLVED  

1.  CREATE  ROUTINES  

2.  SET  LIMITS  WITH  RULES    

3.  PROVIDE  LIMITED  CHOICES  

4.  PROVIDE  OPPORTUNITIES  TO  HELP  

2.  TEACH  RESPECT  BY  BEING  
RESPECTFUL  
3.  USE  YOUR  SENSE  OF  HUMOUR  
4.  GET  INTO  YOUR  CHILD’S  WORLD  

Each  new  phase  of  

growth  or  
development  has  new  
challenges.    
 
 5.  BE  FIRM  AND  KIND  –SAY  WHAT  
YOU  MEAN  
•  Be  firm  and  say  what  you  
mean  
•  At  the  same  >me,  speak  in  a  
quiet  voice  
•  Make  eye  contact  while  
speaking    
•  Do  not  give  in  to  temper  
tantrums  
 
6.  BE  PATIENT  
 7.  COMMUNICATION  

Ø Tell the child what he or she should do rather

than what they should not do!

Ø Keep explanations simple and brief

Ø Be prepared to repeat over and over to

toddlers.

Ø The difficult hostile child is the one who needs

love and guidance the most!
8.  ACCEPT  &  APPRECIATE  YOUR  
UNIQUE  CHILD  

Children  have  different  

temperaments  that  account  for  
different  behaviour.  
They  can  be    
Shy  
Moody  
Friendly  
Easy  
Stubborn  
 9.  POSITIVE  REINFORCEMENT  
O Use  Effec>ve  Praise  Ojen!  Children  repeat  
the  ac>ons  they  are  praised  for.  
O   Make  it  sincere  and  construc>ve  
O Be  specific  to  a  situa>on  
O Make  eye  contact  and  mean  what  you  say  
O Praise  the  effort  and  the  process,  not  just  the  
result    
O Do  not  overuse  praise  
 
 INTRINSIC    &  EXTRINSIC  REWARDS  

MATERIAL  
SOCIAL  REWARDS   ACTION  REWARDS  
REWARDS  
 10.  CONSEQUENCES  
Ø Natural  consequences:  Allowing your child to understand
and experience the natural outcome of their misbehavior.
§ “Because you threw your toy and broke it, you will not have that toy to play with anymore.”

Ø Logical  consequences:  Arranged by parents and must

logically follow the child’s behavior.
Ø Not having clean clothes to wear is a logical consequence of not placing dirty clothes in the hamper.

Ø Ignoring: Removing all your attention from your child

Not looking at or saying anything at all to your child as long as your child continues a negative behavior
(i.e. whining, breaking toys, etc.)

Children  must  be  made  aware  of  the  limits  

Time-­‐out  is  puni>ve;  it  doesn’t  teach  
the  child  anything.  They  are  not  
thinking  of  the  wrong  they  did  
Time-­‐out  is  controlling;  it  puts  me  in  
the  posi>on  of  power  and  removes  
all  control  from  the  child.  
Time-­‐out  is  isola>ng.  Why  isolate  a  
child  when  you  could  create  a  
teachable  moment  to  the  child?  
The  children  get  resenYul  and  angry  
which  can  ruin  your  rela>onship  with  
the  child.  
Not  all  kids  will  “take  a  >me-­‐out.”  If  
they  say  “No!”?  Are  you  prepared  for  
a  power  struggle?  
 Don’t just
follow people
and use
short-sighted
solution

Have a bigger
vision and think
about the whole
picture
( the future)
Why  TIME  IN  or  POSITIVE  TIME  OUT  works:  
 
*Children  are  likely  to  feel  that  their  needs  are  being  
considered  
*There  can  be  connec>on  between  parent  and  child  
before  a  correc>on  is  presented  
*Children  are  given  >me  to  properly  process  a  range  of  
feelings  
*Parents  don’t  feel  out  of  control  or  create  a  power  
struggle  to  keep  child  in  the  >me  out.  
*Children  don’t  feel  isolated,  shamed  or  scared  
*It  gives  parent  and  children  an  opportunity  to  talk  
about  the  real  issue  at  hand  
 SELF-­‐CALMING  AREA  
/  COOL-­‐DOWN  AREA  

S  
 Small  changes…  
Big  differences  

WOW!  Everyday  I  Learn  More  Posi>ve  Strategies  

 WARNING  
When  children  do  not  follow  limits,  remind  
them  they  are  misbehaving  and  their  behavior  
will  have  consequences  
 ENCOURAGING  
Encouraging  is  a  guiding  technique  that  helps  
children  believe  in  themselves  
 I-­‐MESSAGES  

An  I-­‐message  tells  a  child  how  you  

feel  about  their  behavior  in  a  
respecYul  manner  
 
Statements  include  three  parts  
•  The  child’s  behavior  
•  Your  feelings  about  the  behavior  
•  The  effects  of  the  behavior  
 REDIRECTING  
RedirecMng:  diver>ng,  or  turning,  aSen>on  in  a  
different  direc>on  
 LISTENING  
•  Listening  involves  giving  the  children  your  full  
aSen>on  (  and  repea>ng  it)    
 MODELLING  
Modeling  is  how  you  speak  and  move,  which  can  
be  imitated  by  children  (Verbal  and  nonverbal  ac>ons  )  
 PROMPTING  
•  PrompMng  may  be  needed  to  stop  an  
unacceptable  ac>on  or  to  start  an  acceptable  
one.  (  Verbal  /  non-­‐verbal)  
 SUGGESTING  
Sugges/ng  means  placing  thoughts  for  
considera>on  into  children’s  minds  
Ø Set limits!
Set limits so they know what is expected.

Ø Be Fair!
It may vary from one child to another.

Ø Be Firm!
Stick to your rules. No negotiation .

Ø Be Consistent!
Discipline the same way every time that behavior occurs.
Don’t forget that,

What God is to the world

Parents are to their children
shareen@kiddieplanet.sch.id  
+62811955550