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GRAM VIKAS ADHIKARI HOSPITAL

Adhikari hospital me leta hua hai. Wife side me baithi hui

hai aur ek x-ray report dekh rahi hai..Adhikari bhi kabhi
kabhi use dekh rha hai.

WIFE
Sach sach batao..daftar mein beedi
cigarrete toh nahi peete?

ADHIKARI
Ek Gram Vikas Adhikari kabhi beedi
cigarrette nahi peeta..

WIFE
Toh yeh chhaati ke x-ray mein dhuan
dhuan kyun dikh raha hai?

ADHIKARI
X-ray machine bhi toh kharab ho
sakti hai...

WIFE
Isiliye bolti hu..private Hospital
me dikhane k liye

ADHIKARI
Private kyu jau...wahan toh Sirf
shakal dikhane k 2000 lagte hai.

WIFE
Haan toh achha hai 2000 rupay
bachane k chakkar me nipat jaoge
kisi din....

ADHIKARI
Tum bhi toh yhi chahti ho

WIFE
Mai chahti hu..? jab jab dikkat
hoti hai toh khud daude chale aate
ho sarkaari hospital mein...raaste
mein 15 private hospital padte
hain..unme nahi jaa sakte...

Adhikari gusse me labi saans lekar wife ko dekhta hai.

ADHIKARI
Kaha na maine..mujhe Paise Lutane
ka sauk nhi hai...
 2.

WIFE
Haan sahi baat hai..apna khayal
rakhna toh paise lutana hota
hai...tum mere baare mein toh kabhi
sochte nahi?

ADHIKARI
Kya sochu tumhare bare me..?

Wife gusse me idhar udhar dekhti hai

WIFE
Mat socho kisi ke bare me.... pade
raho yhi...

ADHIKARI
Marij ka khayal rakhne aayi ho ya
yamraaj banke jaan nikaalne.... Jo
ulta Seedha bole jaa rhi ho

WIFE
Haan haan ab to samjhana bhi paap
hai na.....mai hi bewkuf hu jo moti
budhi ko samjhane chali(to herself)

Gram vikas adhikari ye sunte hi uthne ki kosis karta hai.

Sath me lagi drip aa jati hai

ADHIKARI
Budbudao mat..Mai ek gram vikas
adhikari hu. 55000 rupay kamata
hu...tata sumo se chalta hu. Office
me sab thar thar kampte hai mujhse.
Mujhe samjhane ki jarurat nhi hai.

Isi bich compounder aa jata hai.

COMPOUNDER
Are sir kya kar rhe hai aap drip
idhar udhar hui toh blood aa
jaayega..

Gram vikas adhikari ghabra kar late jata hai.

WIFE
Bahot achhe!

COMPOUNDER
Sir aap samajhdar aadmi hai...aap
aise karenge acha lagega
 3.

WIFE
Samjhao inko......aur ye dekho
zara...is X-ray mein dhuan dikh rha
hai ki nhi

Wife x-ray dikhati hai.

COMPOUNDER
Haan g...dhuan hi hai

WIFE
Iska kya matlab

COMPOUNDER
Matlab marij cigarrette pita hai.

WIFE (TO ADHIKARI)

Dekha...mai bol rhi thi na

ADHIKARI
Are jab maine kabhi cigarrette pi
hi nhi to x-ray me kaise aa
gyi.....ae Compounder tu thik se
check kar

Compounder x-ray check karta hai.

COMPOUNDER
Arre ye to bed no. 104 ki x-ray
report hai...main galti se yahan
rakh gaya...sorry sorry

Wife thodi hairan ho jati hai.

ADHIKARI
Huh...badi aayi hosiyar singh

Wife gusse se compounder ko dekhti hai.

WIFE
Aise Hi karte ho tumlog. Kisi ki
report kisi ke pas....dhayan Se nhi
rakh sakte

COMPOUNDER
Are madam...itne marij hote
hai...kya kya sambhale

WIFE (TO ADHIKARI)

Dekha..mai bol rhi thi na....ye
kitne laparwaah hai....private Me
hote to ye harkat nhi hoti
 4.

ADHIKARI
Are galti insan se hi hoti hai...

COMPOUNDER
Sahi baat hai sir..galti insan se
hi hoti hai....aap to bahut
samajhdaar admi hai....mai Hi apko
gadha samajh rha tha..

ADHIKARI
Ae!

Compounder turant waha se bhag jata hai.

Adhikari wife ko dekhta hai..

WIFE
Mujhe kyun ghoor rahe ho?

ADHIKARI

Tumhare saamne wo mujhe gadha keh

ke bhaag gaya aur tum dekhti reh
gayi...

WIFE
Toh maine nahi kaha tha iss sarkari
hospital mein aakr apni beizzati
karwane ke liye...gate se lekar
yahan tak sab mujhpe line maar rahe
the...aur aao aisi jagah..

ADHIKARI
Haan toh hospital aane ke liye yeh
lipstick kajal powder lagaane ki
kya zaroorat thi...simple nahi aa
sakti thi tum....(plain hokar nhi
aa skti thi)

WIFE
60 ki nahi ho gayi hoon jo fashion
na karu?..maintain Kiya hai isliye
aisi hoon...

ADHIKARI
Fir dikkat kyun ho rahi hai jab log
ghoor rahe hain toh...enjoy Karo..

WIFE
Kaise enjoy karu...tumhare liye
khichdi aur dahi bhi toh laani
thi...
 5.

ADHIKARI
Kisne kaha tha khichdi laane ke
liye...

WIFE
Hotel mein nahi ruke ho jo shaahi
khaana khaoge...beemar ho admit
ho..toh khichdi hi khaoge na....

Tabhi compounder khana lekar aata hai. Is baar usne gale me

appren bandh rakha hai.

COMPOUNDER
Sir aapka lunch!

ADHIKARI
Lunch ke bachche...teri himmat
kaise hui mujhe gadha bolne ki...

COMPOUNDER
Maine aapko gadha bola?

WIFE
Bengali nahi bol rahe wo jo ek baar
mein samajh na aaye....Ek Gram
Vikas Adhikari ko gadha bolkar
chale gaye tum...

COMPOUNDER
Ohh! dekhiye main aapse maafi
chahta hoon wo mera judwa bhai
nandan hai...thoda Akal se paidal
hai...aap dono please maaf kar
dijiye uski galti ke liye...

ADHIKARI
Theek hai theek hai...khaane Mein
raayta kyun nahi hai?

WIFE
Suno!(to compounder)

Compounder wapas aata hai..

COMPOUNDER
Ji!

WIFE
Yeh khana lekar jao...

ADHIKARI
Kyun kya dikkat hai iss khaane
mein...sirf raayta hi toh nahi
hai...
 6.

WIFE
Hospital mein sirf dahi khichdi
khaate hain...paneer lababdaar aur
missi roti nahi...lekar jao ise..

ADHIKARI
Itni bhi tabiyat nahi bigdi ki ghar
ki tarah khichdi pe zinda rehne ki
naubat aa jaaye....

WIFE
Haan haan cheekh cheekh ke batao
poore hospital ko ki tum sirf
khichdi khaate ho...

COMPOUNDER
Lekin yeh toh aaram se bol rahe
hain...

WIFE
Tu chup kar aur lekar jaa yeh
khaana...

ADHIKARI
Khaane ko haath lagaya toh haath
tod dunga...

WIFE
Bahot badhiya yahan aakar bhi
hathapai hi karo tum...janwa Do
poore hospital ko ki tum aaye ho...

COMPOUNDER
Hospital ko toh pata chal gaya ki
Ek Gram Vikas Adhikari admit hua
hai...

ADHIKARI
Kaise pata chala?

WIFE
Pata kyun nahi chalega...tumhara
Gala kisi chonge(loudspeaker) se
kam hai kya yahan cheekhte ho
parking tak aawaz jaati hai..

ADHIKARI
Ae compounder ke judwa
bhai...doctor ko jaakr bolo ki..

COMPOUNDER
Ek gram vikas adhikari unko bula
rahe hain...main samajh gaya...
 7.

ADHIKARI
Haan jaldi bol aane k liye...office
Jana hai mujhe...wahi ye aurat nhi
aati

Compounder khana lekar jane lagta hai.

ADHIKARI (CONT'D)
Ae!

COMPOUNDER
Ae kya...chup chap lae jaa gadhe.

Compounder bhag jata hai.

Adhikari uthne ki kosis karta hai.

ADHIKARI
Doctor ko aane de tera transfer
karwata hu.

WIFE
Lete raho chup chaap...khichdi
nikaal rahi hoon main...

ADHIKARI
Main khichdi nahi khaunga...

WIFE
Kyun khaoge tum khichdi...tumhe toh
mera khoon jo peena hai..jab tak
zinda rahoge chain se nahi rehne
doge..

ADHIKARI
Itni hi pareshani h toh chali
jao..yahan baith ke BP kyun badha
rahi ho mera...

WIFE
Tumhara BP badhane ka shauk nahi
hai mujhe...ek baar doctor aa jaaye
mil loon fir chali jaungi...waise
bhi aaj Meena ka bday hai...

ADHIKARI
Haan haan bday mundan marriage yahi
sab toh dikhta hai..itna dhyan agar
ghar ki shaanti banane pe diya hota
toh yeh haal na hota...
 8.

WIFE
Kya haal na hota..hain? Jab dekho
mujhe hi koste rehte ho...jaise
mere aane se pehle toh Dan
Bilzerian the....

ADHIKARI
Ashleel aadmi se meri tulna karne
ki himmat kaise hui tumhari...

Itne mein Doctor aa jaata hai...aur Report dekhne lagta hai.

ADHIKARI (CONT'D)
Report chor, pahle ye bta ki mujhe
gadha kyu bola tune.

COMPOUNDER
Aap mujhse kah rahe hain?

WIFE
Kyun inki aankhon mein bhengapan
hai kya..jo dekhenge idhar aur baat
karenge udhar...tumse hi keh rahe
hain...jawaab do...

COMPOUNDER
Ohh! Sorry Sorry wo mera tidwa bhai
nandan hai...actually hum 3 bhai
hain...nandan,chandan aur main
Raghunandan...nandan compounder
hai, chandan canteen dekhta hai aur
mai doctor.

Adhikari aur wife ek dusre ko dekhte hai.

WIFE
Koi bhai tumhara marij nhi hai..

COMPOUNDER
Ji tha hamara ek aur bhai... isi
bed pe admit tha

ADHIKARI
Ab kha gya

COMPOUNDER
Ji mar gya..TB tha usko

Wife-adhiakari sunte hi muh banate hai.

 9.

WIFE
TB?.....chee chee....ab Inko bhi TB
ho jayega...hey Bhagwan ab mai kya
karu....isi Bed pe lete ho tab
se....isiliye bolti hu private jaya
kro.

ADHIKARI
Are chup ho jao tum...hospital me
rona dhona suru kar diya....aur
Tum...ye tumhare bhai itne badtamiz
hai ....sarkari Admi se badtamiji
karte hai....samjha Unko...transfer
karwa dunga sabka.

COMPOUNDER
Mai bilkul smjhaunga sir....meri
Taraf se aap unko maaf kar dijiye.

ADHIKARI
Thik hai thik hai...report dekh ab

COMPOUNDER
Are aap thik hai sir.

WIFE
Bina report dekhe...aise hi

COMPOUNDER
jo admi hospital k bed pe lete
lete itna lad skta hai wo thik hai
ekdum...wo bimar ho hi nhi
skta..report ki koi jarurat hi nhi
hai.

ADHIKARI
kya faltu bakwas kar rha
hai....report Dekh kar bta avi
tabiyat kaisi hai.

COMPOUNDER
report kya batayega...apko acha lag
rha hai to aaap ache hai....koi
Dikkat nhi apko

WIFE
Dekha mai bolti hu to tum mante nhi
ho.....ye hospital bhi ganda...log
Bhi gande aur ye anphad
doctor....aur Aao yha
 10.

ADHIKARI
isme hospital ki kya galti....ye To
doctor gadha hai...farji paper
dekar bharti ho gya.

COMPOUNDER
Dekhiye bhai sahab...apki umar ka
lihaj kar rha hu...aur mai bhi
sarkari admi hu...aisi badtamiji
karna thik nhi

ADHIKARI
Kya badtamiji...farji Hai tabhi to
tu bina kuch dekhe discharge kar
rha hai.

COMPOUNDER
To ek kaam kariye pade rahiye yhi
hospital me...apke jaise log hai jo
10-10 lakh de dete hai private
me...wo aap jaise logo ko chutiya
bna ke badi badi building bna liye
hai.

ADHIKARI
Chutiya kisko bola tu...bhul mat
mai ek gram vikas adhikari
hu....55000 Rupay kamata hu...tata
sumo se chalta hu.

COMPOUNDER
Are chalte honge...hum bolero se
chalte hai...65000 kamate
hai....jyada bologe hospital se
jail pahucha dunga

WIFE
Are choro tum chalo yha se...yha ab
ilaj nhi karwana

]adhikari uthne lagta hai aur drip nikalta hai. Drip me

niddle hi nhi hota...adhikari- wife dono niddle dekh rhe hai.

WIFE (CONT'D)
Dekha....bol Rha tha khoon nikal
jayega...bina niddle k subah se
laga rakha hai.

COMPOUNDER
Mujhe lagta hai niddle andar hi rah
gya.

ADHIKARI
Gadhe....!