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I am Dr Che (MD). Apart from my own job as a doctor, I also teach OET. Unlike
many other OET writing correction services my service is quick, detailed, and
comprehensive. I not only correct grammar mistakes, but also, organization,
structure, genre and style, conciseness and clarity etc, every criterion is covered
in my letters. I not only correct your mistakes but also rewrite better sentences
for you to learn (you can see my sample corrections below). Moreover, unlike
many other OET teachers, I have a real experience of OET as I myself passed my
OET exam.

My correction service is very cheap in these days (VIP package only 4 pounds per
letter, Premium package only 2.5 pounds per letter). It may change in future.

Look at my sample corrections to see how my correction is the best in the market
at the moment and also to learn.

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Dr Che OET writing correction VIP package Premium package
(for Doctors and Nurses and others) ( £ 4 / letter) ( £ 2.5 / letter)
Time after receiving your letter Within hours (usually less Takes more time than VIP
than 24 hours, even earlier) (usually within 48 hours)
Proofreading Yes Yes
Grammar mistakes Yes Yes
Feedback on conciseness, clarity, Yes Yes
content, Genre and style,
Organization and layout
Paragraph structure yes Yes
Estimated grade Yes Yes
Estimated score in each of 6 OET Yes Yes
writing criteria
Recommendations Yes Yes
( individual, not copy paste)
Mention of your strong and weak Yes Yes
points
Feedback according to new 6 OET Yes Yes
writing criteria
Send letter in Word /text file (for pic form Word /text file
contact me if available)
Reason of your mistakes Yes (explained in detail) Yes/No (if explained , it is
less detailed)
Feedback quality High and advanced level standard
Detailed feedback Yes (too much detailed) Yes ( but less than VIP)
Clarifications or questions after Unlimited (as many as you Limited (just a few and
feedback wish) important only)
If your letter is too weak, after feedback Yes NO
you may need to rewrite and I will
check rewritten letter again
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be yours, if available) group
Individual focus on your weaknesses Yes No
and individual coaching
If your sentences or paragraphs or Yes No (may be a few only)
parts of letter is not good or advanced,
you need real improvement, I will
rewrite advanced model sentences or
paragraphs for you
Apart from your letter correction, other Yes NO
tips to improve your OET writing

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Join my group for detailed, comprehensive, high-quality and cheap OET writing correction service.
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Greeting:

Original Rewrite

The Dietician The Dietician

Department of Nutrition and Dietetics Department of Nutrition and Dietetics
Spirit Hospital Spirit Hospital
Prayer town Prayer Town
NSW2175 NSW2175

21/03/2012 21 March 2012

Dear sir/madam, Dear Sir/Madam,

Re: Ms Nina Sharman, DOB: 09/02/1951

Goop points:

Weak points:

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sir/madam, (S and M should be capital, first letter of each word in greeting should be capital)

Re: Ms Nina Sharman, DOB: 09/02/1951 (don’t forget to write this line in your greeting)

21 March 2012
(the way you put the date is correct, but let us stick to more common and better way, month in
words,,, stick to one style only, it would save your time)

Purpose:

Original Rewrite

I am writing urgently with regards to Ms I am writing urgently with regards to Ms

Sharman,who had difficulty in swallowing Sharman, who has difficulty in swallowing.
function.It would be greatly appreciated, if It would be greatly appreciated if you
you could visit and assess her. could visit and assess her.

Goop points:

To the point, clear, concise and easy for the reader to understand, why you are writing this
letter, what is wrong with the patient, what you want from the reader to do for the patient.

Weak points:

It would be greatly appreciated, if you could visit and assess her. (when we use “if” in the
centre of the sentence we don’t need to put comma, if we use “If” at the start of the sentence,
then we need comma”)

Swallowing is enough (there is no need to add “function” with it”)

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Your purpose is almost ok, but there is one thing,,, think what is the main urgent problem of the
patient??? (Swallowing difficulty or risk of aspiration???????) we need to mention “swallowing
difficulty” but we cannot skip “ risk of aspiration” as it very important for the reader to know.

I am writing urgently with regards to Ms Sharman, who had difficulty in swallowing with a high
risk of aspiration.

2nd Body Paragraph:

Original Rewrite

Ms Sharman has gained 10 kg weight over last 5
months.Currently,she is 106 kg.She has chronic
constipation and is under laxative.She has entirely
wear upper and lower dentures.However,she
refused to wear sometimes due to disorientation
and confusion.
Ms Sharman appetite was normal.She eats full
portion of offered meal three times daily and is
eating other residents food as well.
Ms Sharman has gained 10 kg weight
over the last 5 months. Currently, she
is 106 kg. She has chronic constipation
and takes laxatives. She has no teeth
and wears entire upper and lower
dentures, but she sometimes forgets to
wear them.
Ms Sharman appetite is normal. She
eats full portion of offered meal three
times daily and eats other residents’
food as well.

Goop points:

Weak points:

Organization and paragraphing is very poor. As you know this is an urgent letter, in every letter
and especially in urgent letter we need to write the most important information or visit after
purpose. Here after purpose we should have written the her episode of choking, that is the
most important information for the reader.

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Ms Sharman has gained 10 kg weight over the last 5 months. Currently, she is 106 kg.

(the second sentence is not good, as both sentences are related to weight we can join them to
make a good compound sentence)

Ms Sharman has gained 10 kg weight over the last 5 months and now she weighs 106kg.

she refused to wear sometimes (when you are using past tense, it means this happened only once,
but this is her routine activity that she sometimes forgets to wear them)t

appetite was normal. (we need to use present tense here, as her appetite is normal now)

even it would be if we say “her appetite has increased.”

daily and is eating ( is eating, means she is eating something right now, but here we want to tell
about her routine)

for habit or routine activity we use “present tense”

3rd +- 4th Body Paragraph:

Original Rewrite

Ms Sharman has had a history of ischemic heart
disease,stroke,severe dementia,diabetes mellitus
and osteoarthritis in both knees.Currently,she
has chest infection,occasional cough and
episodes of shortness of breath with increased
RR.
Ms Sharman has a history of ischemic
heart disease, stroke, severe dementia,
diabetes mellitus and osteoarthritis in
both knees. Currently, she has chest
infection, occasional cough and episodes
of shortness of breath with increased RR.

on 20/03/12, Ms Sharman has episode of On 20/03/12, Ms Sharman had an

choking ,which she did not chewed
properly.After that,she suddenly turned blue.The
piece of solid food was removed following
grabbed the throat with both hands and coughed.
episode of choking possibly due to
inadequate chewing. She suddenly turned
blue and a piece of solid food was
removed as she grabbed the throat with
both hands and coughed.

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Goop points:

Weak points:

Currently, she has chest infection, occasional cough and episodes of shortness of breath with
increased RR. (this happened five days ago, and she was treated for this problem, and this is not
too much relevant for the reader, just briefly mention this. )

She had a chest infection five days ago which was treated accordingly.

On 20/03/12, Ms Sharman has episode (we are talking about her event that happened yesterday,
so we should use past tense here)

Sharman had an episode of choking,which she did not chewed properly. (you can see there is a
question mark with reason of choking in case notes, this means this a possible reason, not the
confirmed reason.

Sharman had an episode of choking possibly due to inadequate chewing.\

Or possibly due to difficulty in chewing.

She suddenly turned blue and a piece of solid food was removed as she grabbed the throat with
both hands and coughed.

Closing:

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 Original Rewrite

please note that, she has a high risk of please note, she has a high risk of aspiration.
aspiration.
If you have any queries, please do not
If you have any queries ,please do not hesitate to contact me.
hesitate to contact me.
Yours faithfully,
Yours faithfully,
Registered Nurse
Registered Nurse

Goop points:

Yours faithfully,
(good ,as we don’t know the name of the reader, it is better to use “faithfully” here)

Weak points:

that, she (use one thing, comma or that)

If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

(Here before this line, you should restate the purpose of the letter in different words)

Based on the above, I would be grateful if you could visit to assess her swallowing and
nutritional status.

If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Word count: 156 (try to write between 180 and 220 words)
Overall Overall Grade: C- or C
Please write this letter again, read my correction 2 to 3 times, then
Score + write the letter again and send me. You can copy from my correction.

Advice
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Individual scores:
Purpose

Description Grade Your

Score
Purpose of document is immediately apparent and 3
sufficiently expanded as required
Purpose of document is apparent but not sufficiently 2 2
highlighted or expanded
Purpose of document is not immediately apparent and 1
may show very limited expansion

Description Grade
2. Content

Description Grade Your

Score
Content is appropriate to intended reader and 7
addresses what is needed to continue care (key
information is included; no important details missing);
content from case notes is accurately represented
Performance shares features of bands 5 and 7 6
Content is appropriate to intended reader and mostly 5
addresses what is needed to continue care; content
from case notes is generally accurately represented
Performance shares features of bands 3 and 5 4 4
Content is mostly appropriate to intended reader; 3
some key
information (about case or to continue care) may be
missing; there may be some inaccuracies in content

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Performance shares features of bands 1 and 3 2
Content does not provide intended reader sufficient 1
information
about the case and what is needed to continue care;
key
information is missing or inaccurate
Performance below Band 1 0

3. Conciseness & Clarity

Description Grade Your
Score
Length of document is appropriate to case and reader 7
(no irrelevant information included); information is
summarised effectively and presented clearly
Performance shares features of bands 5 and 7 6
Length of document is mostly appropriate to case and 5
reader; information is mostly summarised effectively
and presented clearly
Performance shares features of bands 3 and 5 4 3 or 4
Inclusion of some irrelevant information distracts from 3
overall clarity of document; attempt to summarise only
partially successful
Performance shares features of bands 1 and 3 2
Clarity of document is obscured by the inclusion of 1
many
unnecessary details; attempt to summarise not
successful
Performance below Band 1 0

4. Genre& Style
Description Grade Your

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 Score
Writing is clinical/factual and appropriate to genre and 7
reader (discipline and knowledge); technical language,
abbreviations and polite language are used
appropriately for document and recipient
Performance shares features of bands 5 and 7 6
Writing is clinical/factual and appropriate to genre and 5
reader with occasional, minor inappropriacies;
technical language, abbreviations and polite language
are used appropriately with minor inconsistencies
Performance shares features of bands 3 and 5 4 3 or 4
Writing is at times inappropriate to the document or 3
target reader; over-reliance on technical language and
abbreviations may distract reader
Performance shares features of bands 1 and 3 2
The writing shows inadequate understanding of the 1
genre and target reader; mis- or over-use of technical
language and abbreviations cause strain for the reader
Writing is clinical/factual and appropriate to genre and 0
reader (discipline and knowledge); technical language,
abbreviations and polite language are used
appropriately for document and recipient

5. Organisation & Layout

Description Grade Your

Score
Organisation and paragraphing are appropriate, logical 7
and clear key information is highlighted and sub-
sections are well organized document is well laid out
Performance shares features of bands 5 and 7 6
Organisation and paragraphing are generally 5
appropriate, logical and clear; occasional lapses of
organisation in sub-sections and/or highlighting of key
information; layout is generally good language,

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abbreviations and polite language are used
appropriately with minor inconsistencies
Performance shares features of bands 3 and 5 4
Organisation and paragraphing are not always logical, 3 3
creating strain for the reader; key information may not
be highlighted layout is mostly appropriate with some
lapses
Performance shares features of bands 1 and 3 2
Organisation not logical, putting strain on the reader; 1
or heavy reliance on case note structure; key
information is not well highlighted and the layout may
not be appropriate
Performance below Band 1 0

6. Language

Description Grade Your

Score
Language features (spelling/punctuation/vocabulary/ 7
grammar/sentence structure) are accurate and do not
interfere with meaning
Performance shares features of bands 5 and 7 6
Minor slips in language generally do not interfere with 5
meaning
Performance shares features of bands 3 and 5 4
Inaccuracies in language, in particular in complex 3 3
structures, cause minor strain for the reader but do not
interfere with meaning
Performance shares features of bands 1 and 3 2
Inaccuracies in language cause considerable strain for 1
the reader and may interfere with meaning
Performance below Band 1 0

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