Santa’s Diet

Scene 1: Santa is standing in front of the mirror looking at himself, touching his
belly and flexing his biceps.)
Santa (Myhail): Ho, ho, ho. Look at me. A 100 kg of pure muscle. Wow.

Elf (Adrià): Hey, Fatso, it’s time to go. You still have 3 million presents to give
before tomorrow morning.

Santa (Myhail): Hey, hey, hey! What have you said? Who are you calling me fat?
I’m not fat. I’ve never looked better before.

Elf (Adrià): (shaking his head) Yeah, yeah, whatever,

Santa. Let’s just go. The reindeers and the sleigh
are ready to roll.

Santa (Myhail): Okay, let’s go then.

(Santa is going to the sleigh)

Rudolph (Antonia): Good heavens. Look at Santa. Do we really have to pull the
sleigh with all those presents and him?

Dancer (Mohamed): You are right; Santa is getting very heavy.

Comet (Elna): Listen guys. I have an idea. Why don’t we take Santa to the Slim Up
Center?

Prancer (Laura): The Slim Up Center? I think it is very expensive. And we don’t
have any money.

Rudolph (Antonia): We could give them some presents instead. Maybe they will be
okay with that.

Cupid (Chaimae): Okay, that’s a very good idea. Let’s go then. Santa, are you
ready?

Santa (Myhail): Sure guys. Let’s go. (Sleigh drives off. After a few minutes Santa
notices it’s going the wrong way). Hey guys, where are we going?
Prancer (Laura): Well, Santa, we can’t pull your weight any longer. We think it’s
time for you to go on a diet.

Santa (Myhail): A diet? What are you talking about? I’m as thin as a stick!
Blitzen (Rachid): Well, a giant stick, Santa.

Santa (Myhail): But I don’t want to…

Dasher (Ali): No buts, Santa. Hurry up guys!

Scene 2: (At the Slim Up Center)

Rudolph (Antonia): Listen Santa, you have to answer this list of questions. And the
first one is: What do you normally have for breakfast?

Santa (Elna): Breakfast? Let me see. I have 12 slices of toast with marmalade.

Dancer (Mohamed) :Twelve slices of toast?

Santa (Elna): Six sausages.

Cupid (Chaimae): Six sausages?

Santa (Elna): Eight eggs.

Dasher (Ali): Eight eggs?

Santa (Elna): And four cups of coffee with lots of milk and sugar.

Blitzen (Rachid): Four cups of coffee? With lots of sugar?

Comet (Adrià): Don’t you eat any fruit, Santa?

Santa (Elna): Fruit? What do you think I am? A monkey? Monkeys eat fruit.

Prancer (Laura): But Santa, fruit is really good for you. You should try it. Okay,
next question: What do you have for lunch?

Santa (Elna): Lunch? Well, I usually have six pieces of fried chicken.
Blitzen (Rachid): Six pieces?

Santa (Elna) : French fries and cola. Supersized, of course. And a big ice-cream for
dessert.

Dancer (Mohamed): Supersized? Big ice-cream? Don’t you eat any vegetables,
Santa?

Santa (Elna): Vegetables? What do you think I am? A rabbit? Rabbits eat
vegetables.
Rudolph (Antonia): But Santa, vegetables are really good for you. They keep you
fit.

Santa (Elna): All right, and next you’re going to tell me exercise is good for me.
Hah!

Donner (Myhail): But it is, Santa. Last question: What do you have for dinner?

Santa (Elna): Not much. Just a pizza and a soda.

Comet (Adrià): Is it a family-sized pizza, Santa? And a bucket of soda?

Santa (Elna): Yes, of course. What do you think I am? A supermodel?

Prancer (Laura): Okay, that’s it. Let’s bring them the questionnaire and see what
they say.

Santa (Elna): Well, hurry up, I’m getting hungry.

Scene 3: (Inside Santa’s house)

Dancer (Mohamed): Right, Santa I’ve got the results.

Prancer (Laura): The bad news is that you are quite a bit fat.

Comet (Adrià): The good news is that you can start your programme immediately.

Dancer (Mohamed): Sadly, you will have to stay here until you have lost 10 kilos.

Santa (Myhail): Stay here? Lose 10 kg? How long will that take?

Cupid (Chaimae): Well, that should be in three years or so.

Santa (Myhail): In three years? But…

Rudolph (Antonia): Not buts, Santa. We are doing this for your own good.

Comet (Adrià): We will ask the Elves to find a substitute Santa.

Santa (Myhail): A substitute Santa? But there’s only one Santa. Me!

Blitzen (Rachid): Not buts, Santa.

Dasher (Ali): Be a good guy.

Donner (Elna): Don’t get upset, you might get a heart attack.

Santa (Myhail): But…

Reindeer (all together): Merry Christmas, Santa. Goodbye!

The End