you no one can do it for you, not your therapist, not your best friend, not your

nearest family.
only you can choose survival over victimhood

there are few steps to this

the first one is abandoned the narcissist.

the narcissist initiates his own abandonment because of his fear of it a so
terrified of losing his sources of supply and of being emotionally hurt

that he would rather control master or direct the potentially destabilizing

situation by causing precipitating and engendering his own abandonment remember

the personality of the narcissist is a low level of organization, it's chaotic, it

is precariously balanced being abandoned could cause a narcissistic injury. so
grave that the whole edifice of the last assist can come crumbling down narcissus
usually entertain suicidal ideation in such cases but if

the narcissist had initiated and directed his own abandonment if it is perceived by
him as a goal that he had said to himself he can and does avoid all these untoward
consequences

the next one is moving on to preserve one's mental health one must abandon the
narcissus I have said it but one must also move on moving on is a process not a
decision nor is it an event first one is to acknowledge and accept painful reality
such acceptance is a volcanic shattering and series of nibbling thoughts and
stronger intrusive resistances once the battle is warm and fresh and in harsh
agonizing realities have been assimilated one can move on to the learning phase
what is the learning phase we label we label everything around us that everyone
around us we educate ourselves we compare experiences we digest we have insights
then we decide and then we are

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and this is what it means to move on

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having gathered sufficient emotional

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sustenance knowledge support confidence

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we face the battlefields of our

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relationships fortified and nurtured

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it's this stage characterizes those not

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more but fight the one dream my triple
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initiative self-esteem not hide but seek

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do not freeze but move on move on move

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on this is your motto this is your

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mantra which is the key word

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but of course abandoning anyone and

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especially the narcissist forces one to

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go through a phase of gravy or morning

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have you been having been betrayed

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having been abused inevitably we grieve

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we grieve from the imagery head of the

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traitor at the abuser the images was so

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fleeting and so wrong we move the damage

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that he did to us we experience the fear

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of never being able to laugh or to trust

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again and we grieve this loss of

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innocence in one stroke we had lost

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someone we had trusted and even love we

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had lost our trusting and loving selves

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and we had lost the trust and love that

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we had felt in anything there was the

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emotional process of grieving this many

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phases first we are dumbfounded and

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shocked

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inert immobile we play dead to avoid our

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inner monsters we are ossified in our

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being cast in the mould of our reticence

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appears then we feel enraged indignant

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rebellious hateful and then we accept

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and then we cry then some of us learn to

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forgive it repeating and this is what we

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call healing all stages absolutely

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necessary in good for you it is then not

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to rage back not to shame those who had

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shamed us to deny pretend to evade but

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it is equally bad to get fixated in our

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range permanent grading is a

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perpetuation of our abuse by other means

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by endlessly recreating our harrowing

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experiences we unwillingly collaborate

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with our uses to perpetuate their even

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these it is by moving on that we defeat

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our abuser minimising him and his

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importance in our lives

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it is by loving by trusting anew that we
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are not that which was done to us

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to forgive is never to forget but to

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remember is not necessarily to reacts

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perience forgiving is an important

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capability he does more for the forgiver

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then for the forgiving but it should not

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be a universal indiscriminant behavior

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it is absolutely legitimate to not

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forgive sometimes it depends of course

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on the severity or duration of what had

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been done to you in general it is unwise

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counterproductive to apply to life

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Universal and immutable principles life

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is too chaotic to succumb to rigid

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edicts and rules sentences which start
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with I never or I always are not very

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credible or clever and they often lead

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to self-defeating self restricting and

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even self-destructive behaviors

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conflicts are important an integral part

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of life one should never seek them out

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but when confronted with a conflict one

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should not avoid

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it is through conflicts and through

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adversity as much as through care and

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love that we grow human relationships

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are dynamic we must assess our

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friendships partnerships even our

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marriages period periodically in by

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itself a common past is insufficient to

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sustain a healthy nourish a supportive

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caring and compassionate relationship

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common memories are a necessary but not

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a sufficient condition we must gain and

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regain our friendships our love our

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relationships on a daily basis human

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relationships are constant test for

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religions and empathy but can you remain

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friends with the narcissists come to act

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civilized in remain on threat friendly

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terms with your most assisting ex well

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never forget the glass assists at least

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the full fledge ones are nice and

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friendly only when they want something

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from you not sensitive supply he'll

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support votes money or sex they prepare

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the ground manipulate you and then come

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out with a small favor they need or ask

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you blatantly answer viciously for

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narcissistic supply sentences such as

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what did you think about my performance

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do you think that I really deserve the

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Nobel Prize narcissist survived so

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friendly only when they feel threatened

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they want to nutri the three the threat

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by smothering it with Uzis

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pleasantries well this is the licen

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friendly when they have been just when

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they've just been infused with an
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overdose of narcissistic supply and they

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feel like none of us diffic magnificent

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and ideal in perfect to show magnanimity

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is a way of floating ones impeccable

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divine credentials it is an act of

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grandiosity

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it is an act of humiliating hearing your

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you are irrelevant

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drop in this is spectacle a mere

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receptacle of the narcissus overflowing

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self-contented of an infatuation with

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his fall sir

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but all there's always been beneficence

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is transient the petrol victims often

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tend to thank the novices for making
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graces and this is the Stockholm

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Syndrome hostages tend to emotionally

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identify with their captors rather than

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with the police we are grateful to our

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abusers and pro mentors for seizing even

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for a moment

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there are hideous activities and for

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allowing us to catch our breath before

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the next blow descends some people say

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that they prefer to live with Nazis to

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cater to their needs and to succumb to

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their whims because this is the way they

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had been conditioned in early childhood

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it is only with narcissus that such

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people feel alive stimulated and excited

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the world glows in Technicolor 3d in the

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presence of a narcissist and decays into

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CPR colours in the absence of an oddity

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I see nothing inherently wrong with such

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an approach the test is this if someone

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were to constantly humiliate and abuse

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you verbally using rke Chinese would you

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have felt humiliated and abused probably

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not you don't understand arcade Chinese

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he can't get to you some people have

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been conditioned by the narcissistic

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primary objects in their lives parents

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caregivers to treat narcissistic abuse

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as if it were uttered in ArcheAge

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Chinese to turn a deaf ear the technique

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this technique is effective in that it

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allows the inverter processes

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codependent novices to convert novices

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losses is willing mate to experience

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only the good aspects of living with the

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narcissist and ignore the Bendel's is

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Inasa sees sparkling intentions the

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constant drama and excitement the lack

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of intimacy emotional attachment which

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some people prefer

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every now and then the losses breaks

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into abuse in our case Chinese so on who

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understands our paid Chinese anyway says

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the inverter
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to myself and she survives even so I

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have one nagging doubt if the

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relationship with the narcissist is so

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rewarding why our inverted narcissist

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so usually unhappy so eagerly stomach

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and uncomfortable with who they are or

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what they do so I need um health

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professional or otherwise aren't they

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victims who simply experience the

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Stockholm Syndrome identifying with

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their kidnapper rather than with police

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aren't the victims who deny their own

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moment and they be Kings who fail to

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make the transition to survivors don't

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fall into this trap move on