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when the iphone 3 came on to the market

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i bought one

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i bought one as a birthday gift

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and then i noticed

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that it sucks

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it's a rudimentary device that was you

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couldn't even copy paste

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on the iphone 3

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and yet

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everyone i spoke to

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everyone who had bought or owned an

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iphone 3

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was praising the gadget

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claiming that it's far superior to

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anything else in the market now this is
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this was counterfactual

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it was not true

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so why were people doing this

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cognitive dissonance

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they bought the device they invested a

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lot of money as usual apple products are

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like nine times what the price they

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should be

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and then

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they couldn't admit that they have made

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a mistake

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buyer's remorse

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so instead

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they refrained

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they lied to themselves and to others

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that the devices are great

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it's the same with parents

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they have children

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children suck

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they take the life force out of you

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trust me i've raised three plus one

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my three brothers and my sister

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it's

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possibly

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the most horrendous experience immensely

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imaginable very much like prison

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and so

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but

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there is

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cognitive dissonance

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parents must defend

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their decision

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they don't want to be seen as idiots

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so they keep saying children are the

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greatest thing the greatest light

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wonderful creatures they brought

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happiness into our lives i am sorry

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but there isn't a single study

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one

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which disputes the assertion

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that childless people are much

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like much

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happier

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than people with children
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end of story

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all the studies we have dozens of them

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or in all cultures and all societies

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imaginable

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show clearly

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that parents are less happy than

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childless people now this is this is an

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example of a more general phenomenon

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people were writing to me

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abuse is not love

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first of all i think it's pretty

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insolent

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to give me lectures about abuse i'm the

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guy

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who first described narcissistic abuse i
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even coined the phrase narcissistic

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abuse in the 90s

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so to teach me what is abuse is a bit

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over the top and arrogant

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i never said

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that abuse is love or that love is abuse

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i said

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that people who are abused

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tend in many cases to identify with love

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they misperceive abuse as love i also

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said that based on studies

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abuse is much more common

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in loving caring committed relationships

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and if you stop to think about it for a

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second you will see that it makes sense

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if your partner had given up on you he

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wouldn't bother to abuse you

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that he keeps abusing you means he is

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somehow

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emotionally invested in you now this

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investment is sick pathological wrong

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but it's there

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abuse does indicate emotional investment

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and commitment in relationships whether

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you like it or not

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more generally

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you tend to reject the truth

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because you can't stand to face it

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but the truth sets you free

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everything else

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enslaves you

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haven't you learned this lesson in the

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past few years

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the truth sets you free

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i've mentioned in several videos

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that incest is a trauma

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but it is a trauma

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not because of the act itself i'm sorry

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again

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it's a trauma because of the way society

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reacts to incest

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now this is not some acne

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this is the greatest pediatrician in

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child psychoanalysts to have ever lived
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after jean-pierre

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this is donald winnicott

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donald winicott is the one who said

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that the trauma of incest is societal

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the child sees how everyone around

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all the other adults

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react to the incest

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and then internalizes the traumatic

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response

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the truth in psychology

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doesn't always go hand in hand with your

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common sense

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intuition and anecdotes

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your neighbor and your aunt and your

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granny and your children are not a
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representative sample

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they're just your grammy and your aunt

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and your neighbor and your children

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this is not how science is conducted

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this is not how studies are affected

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this is not how we learn the facts

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true scholars are committed to facts and

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truth

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never mind

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if they risk being cancelled out

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so

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in on my channel

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there is no place for political

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correctness

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fakes

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falsities

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lies pretensions

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new age nonsense and so on

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on this channel

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there's only one queen

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to which

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i'm an obedient servant

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it is the harsh queen of truth

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okay

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i hope you got it

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i want to tell you

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something

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a bit tongue-in-cheek but still very

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true

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remember these sentences

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stress

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mobilizes

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anxiety paralyzes

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dedication

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galvanizes

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addiction

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euthanizes

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envy kills

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emulation fulfills

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grieving is overcome

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depression overcomes

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striving attains

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perfectionism

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detains
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memorize these five sentences

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and you have 99 of the psychological

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knowledge you need for life

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today we are going to discuss

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a relatively complex topic for a change

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but fascinating

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in my view at least

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my name is sam batman i'm the author of

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malignant self-love narcissism revisited

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other books about personality disorders

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i am also a professor of psychology by

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the way yesterday there was an article

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in daily mail

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an interview with me

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and
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i

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think it's one of the best

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encapsulations

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of narcissistic abuse

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that i've ever seen surprising for a

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tabloid

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but you know you'll find pearls in

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unexpected places i recommend that you

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go and read this article it was

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published yes on the 25th which is

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yesterday yeah it was authored by eve

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tawfiq

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if tawfiq