17 – 2 P44

2-part question essay

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.
Why is this the case?
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your
own knowledge or experience.

With the proliferation of new technology and the population (INCREASED POP-
ULARITY) of remote learning, it is common to see that kids (nice for speaking,
but ‘kids’ is a little informal for Writing). are using cell phones for the whole
day. In this essay, it will explain that the key reason why mobile phones are
popular among youngsters is providing them with both connection with other
parties and entertainment, however, it is not HEALTHY for them to play with
THEIR smartphone all day long.

The most obvious thing that a smartphone could bring to kids is the versatility
of the cell phones. A mobile phone provides students with easy connection to
their school classmates and teachers by mobile apps such as message and
WhatsApp. In addition, there are majority of online games easily installed to
escape from the pressure of study when they need a break. An investigation
conducted by Nintendo which is a Japanese game company shows the average
WHAT HOURS? Gaming hours? Playing hours? Needs an adj!) hours of students
is 6 hours.

Despite of the convenience and multi-functions that mobile phones provide,

there are many drawbacks that arise from using cell phones (SUCH AS?), and
this essay agrees that the disadvantages of playing with mobile phones out-
weigh its advantages. Using a mobile phone for messaging and relaxation re-
quests high level of self-discipline which children are not very likely to have and
the mobile phones become a toy for most of youngsters in the end. On top of
that, it is reasonable to believe that with long EXCESSIVE CELLPHONE USE time
spending on phones, RESULTS IN children WHO FIND IT difficult to adapt TO
real social life but online world. The US government has released a finding that
the school kids are spending too much time chatting online but seldom talking
when they are attending in school activities.
To sum up, a smartphone could enable kids to communicate with their friends
and refresh their brains with videos and games. However, it is certainly true
that we must be careful about this technology as it will prevent kids from con-
centrating on their homework and weaken their ability to communicate with
the real world.

BETTER SUMMARY.

I KNOW YOU MENTIONED SELF-DISCIPLINE IN THE 2BP but I DON’T THINK

THAT’S THE SAME AS DOING HOMEWORK AND YOU DON’T MENTION HOME-
WORK ELSEWHERE. I PREFER THE IDEA OF THEM BECOMING LIKE TOYS.