Okay Nick, I don’t know why you sent me this A2A, but the way my country got there

is NOT
RECOMMENDABLE. You shouldn’t go all the way through and pursue nationalism to its
extreme to recoil in shock from the horrors found at this end in order to learn your lesson.

I can think of a few ways:

Simply don’t align your national borders with existing in-groups and tools of pride and
identification. Build your nation across existing tribes. Have a multicultural multilingual nation
where intra-national identity conflicts far outweigh inter-national identity conflicts so warm
fuzzy feelings of solidarity and loyalty to your nation can’t even emerge because in your nation
everyone is too busy hating each other. This way, people do feel patriotic, but they don’t feel
patriotic to a nation with power and a military, they feel patriotic toward an in-group defined by
culture or language or religion or something else. You just disconnect your nation from in-
groups. BAM, problem solved.
I’m not going to take responsibility for civil wars if you follow my advice, though!
Have open borders with other nations and symmetrical cultural exchange. Focus on teaching
foreign languages in school curricula, and prefer a communicative teaching approach over an
analytical approach. Grant a lot of paid vacation and invest in public transport infrastructure so
people can actually travel to other countries. Support and fund programs like school exchanges
or other youth exchanges - and of course, fund your national Esperanto youth organization so
young people can have the experience of international bambumado :) Export and import a lot of
pop culture, translate popular media.
Ditch national symbols and remove cultural associations between popular stuff and your nation.
Don’t appeal to patriotic feelings in political speeches, rarely mention your nation at all, don’t
display flags, don’t play the anthem (and don’t even think of having an anthem that sounds epic
and appeals to popular taste), don’t depict popular foods or sports or other things as something
unique to your nation and symbolically tied to your nation. Don’t have national sport teams - you
can have competitive sport events and teams and all that, but not aligned with national borders.
Invest in education and teach critical nuanced thinking and empiricism in schools, to counteract
possible narratives of how unique your country is.
Don’t even think of military parades. Needless to say. In general, adopt a pacifist cultural
narrative, reflected in your foreign policy. And no, I’m not going to write more about foreign
policy, because this answer is not written in a vacuum distinct from reality, and my country’s
foreign policy and its role in the EU is not without problems, and that’s a too touchy subject for
me. (Go on, tell me how I’m avoiding my responsibility and turning a blind eye to issues.)