Uribe 1

Kyla Uribe
Professor Encinias
CAS 115
12 November 2023
Would You Rather be Loved Or Respected?

On the first day of class, we were given a prompt to answer. It was a would you rather
question, but it wasn’t your average silly question that you would read in a kid’s book. It was a
question that carried a deeper meaning: Would you rather be loved or respected? It made you
think in ways that you probably would’ve never thought. Many people would’ve just picked a
side and left it at that. But I couldn’t do that, I had to give reasoning. When you think of all the
possibilities that both sides hold you realize that one can’t live without the other.
When the prompt was first written on the board, I thought to myself that it is genuinely a
hard question to answer. I say this because being loved comes with so many aspects such as time,
commitment, loyalty, honesty, and even respect. When someone demonstrates love to another
they most likely show these characteristics traits. However, I believe that one can’t give love if
they don’t respect who that person is and what they have done for them. But at the same time, it
is said that you can love someone without respecting them. Respect means that you look up to
the other person for advice and as a person of either authority or compassion. If that respect is
lost, you may still love them, but not respect them.
Just like one can love someone without respecting them, they also can respect someone
without having to necessarily love them or like them. Respect allows both individuals to feel
valued and understood. One can acknowledge each other’s differences and accept each other for
who they are. You may not always agree on things, but when you respect each other, they’re
willing to keep an open mind and consider different perspectives. When you continue thinking
and writing about a question this deep, your mind begins to shift to new ideas, new possibilities.
As I'm writing this, I am thinking about other concepts and views that play a role in the decision
of this answer.
It’s not in the matter of what’s more important but what comes first. Ultimately, respect
comes first and then love follows. Respect is something that is ingrained into a person from the
time they are born. Yes, one can say the same about love because we receive it from our parents
when we are fresh out of the oven. However, love is an emotion, a feeling and state that comes
with time. It’s not an on and off switch. So in order for a person to be in love or fascinated by
anyone they first have to understand the concept of respect for themselves and others. Now with
all this taken into account, how would I respond to this would you rather question?
My first answer to this question, without hesitation, would have been loved. Now, my
explanation behind that answer before I dove in deeper would’ve been because I am a young and
naive 18 year old who wants to experience the feeling of being loved by others and myself.
Disregarding the fact that respect has anything and everything to do with the concept of love. As
a young adult, love is all anyone wants. They don’t care about the idea of being respected
 Uribe 2

because as long as someone loves them then they get that security of being appreciated and
valued. But what many people don’t understand is that respect gives you that appreciation,
validation, and importance. And along the way that respect can turn into love with certain
people. So now after all that my answer is still to be loved, but my explanation is completely
different. I still value respect, it’s just I grew up in a family where love and respect were the
biggest things. But throughout the years respect began to not make such an appearance in my
family.
Many family members have done things to make others lose respect for them, but that
didn’t matter because once holidays and birthdays came around the love that was shared
throughout that room was still the same. So the thought of picking respect over love in this
question seems wrong. It may be different for other people based on their beliefs, morals,
backgrounds, or just personality. And to be honest, I can see it from both sides of the question,
but I could go in circles arguing both sides and still fall back on the love side.