RESPECT SHOULD BE EARNED, NOT GIVEN

We’ve been taught since a young age that we should respect everyone, especially those who
are different from us. We’ve been taught in school to respect our teachers, our peers, and our
elders. We’ve been taught by our family to do the same, in all aspects: respect everyone
around you. No questions asked, simply treat everyone with kindness and respect and
everyone will treat you with the same.
I’m assuming that everyone tries to stick to the morals they were taught when they were
young: don’t talk back to your parents, respect your elders, don’t have a dirty mouth
especially if you are a lady, and raise your hand so you can be called on to speak. These
social norms are enforced at a young age. We all know them, and we’ve all lived by them.
We did this when we were young because if you did not comply, a punishment would be
issued and you would learn, sooner or later, to follow the crowd and follow the rules. As I
grew up, I too followed these rules. I still have a difficult time speaking out in class if I don’t
raise my hand to be called on first. And that seems so silly. I am a grown adult, yet I still feel
the need to raise my hand to say what I want to say.
And as I’ve grown up, I’ve come to realize that sometimes trying to treat everyone with the
same respect and kindness that you would like to receive doesn’t always work out in your
favor. So, my question is simple: why is respect simply given, and not earned?
I am a fairly outspoken person on the subject. Ask me if I respect someone more than they
respect me, and I would most likely answer no. To me, respect is a two-way street. If you
treat me with kindness and respect, I will do the same to you. If someone continuously has no
respect for me, then I see no reason why I should, in turn, respect them. If someone
continuously disrespects my time, emotions, lifestyle, anything of that nature, I see no reason
why I should respect theirs. I would much rather part ways with the person who does not
respect me in a civil manner than continue to be disrespected. And I guess what I’m trying to
say here is, you shouldn’t either.
You are no lesser or greater than any other human being on this planet. Respect should be
shared equally with your peers, to your boss, to your parents, with one exception: you deserve
to be respected as much as they do, and if you are not, you should not feel as if your respect
is simply given. No matter if someone is older, wealthier, or wiser, no one should feel the
compulsion to give respect to someone who is disrespectful of them. Respect should always
be earned. Those who have no respect for you should be treated civilly and with kindness, but
should not have the gift of your respect.
I have grown into a breaker of these social norms. I talk back to my parents if I have a
different perspective on something being discussed, mainly because I was also raised to have
my own opinions and clearly state them. I highly respect my elders because I realize they
have so much to teach me, but at the same time, my respect is not given if they do not give
theirs to me. If someone continuously disrespects me, I do not respect them. Don’t get me
wrong – I am civil and kind, but I feel no compulsion to respect them and you shouldn’t
either.

Stand: Agree that respect is earned and it cannot be commanded. No one will respect one who is
proud and arrogant.

People who look down on others will not command respect. These people will feel discriminated
against and unhappy. As a result, they in turn will not respect the other party. For example, prefects
in school need to respect their peers in order to be gain their respect. They must speak to their peers
in a polite manner when instructing their fellow schoolmates so as not to abuse their authority. In
this way, they will their respect.
People will only be willing to listen to someone whom they feel is deserving. They will give their
respect to someone who gives them respect too as respect is a two-way system and not just one
way. For example, parents will gain the respect of their children through their actions. By being there
for their children when they are feeling sad after a significant event occurs in their lives such as the
ending of a friendship, parents will gain their children's respect as their children are able to feel the
love and concern of their parents.

One will also earn respect if one is born with natural leadership qualities. Some individuals posses
the innate ability to influence people effortlessly. They are able to interact with people comfortably.
As a result, people naturally like them. For example, some religious leaders such as those from the
Christian churches are able to command the respect of their congregation through their enigmatic
personalities. Although these leaders do put in effort to guide their parish, it is still their charismatic
personalities which win people over.

However, there are times when respect can be commanded. Critical situations call for immediate
respect. In times like this, respect is often given quickly without needing to have spent time
cultivating it. For example, army commanders who lead powerful armies in times of war are able to
step up to the plate and command the attention of their subordinates who have been trained to
respect them. In this instance, respect can be commanded.