OETademy

Your OET Coach

28/09/2023 Commented [ur1]: 28 September 2023

Dr George Lopez

Pediatrics

City Medical center

Chebucto Rd

Kentiville

19/03/2022 Commented [ur2]: Two dates?

Dear Dr Lopez
Commented [ur3]: no comma needed

Re: Lauren Goldsmith, D.O.B: 18/11/2021 Commented [ur4]: her

Commented [ur5]: a complaint

Commented [ur6]: elevated

I am writing to inform you regarding your patient Lauren Goldsmith, that she has a Commented [ur7]: WBCs or WBC count
congenital kidney defect,that needs to be surgically treated to prevent future urinary Commented [ur8]: with
tract infections and renal failure. Commented [ur9]: properly: therefore,

• Lauren initially presented with mother in emergency with the complaint of fever Commented [ur10]: was
for two days. Her temperature was 104.7 and blood test showed elevate WBC.
Fever was relieved temporarily from ibuprofen. Baby was irritable and did not eat
Commented [ur11]: .
properly, therefore admitted in the pediatric floor, Zoysn started for suspected
Commented [ur12]: was
infection as well as ibuprofen for fever. She continued to have fever and elevated
WBC. Her Urine culture found positive for E. Coli infection, therefore Bactrim Commented [ur13]: was
started and Zoysin discontinued. Commented [ur14]: an

Commented [ur15]: was

Lauren was content and acting normally. Her fever had stopped and WBC was in
Commented [ur16]: Zoysn
normal range. Antibiotic course completed. Her mother was concerned about kidney
congenital defect as baby had urinary tract infections when she was 2-month-old. On Commented [ur17]: was
19/03/2022, her ultrasound showed defect cause a vesicoureteral reflux. Commented [ur18]: settled

Commented [ur19]: comma

In view of the above, I am referring Lauren Goldsmith to surgery, to correct her
congenital defect and save her from future complications. Commented [ur20]: was

Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me. Commented [ur21]: her congenital kidney defect

Commented [ur22]: causing

Yours sincerly, Commented [ur23]: sincerely

Doctor. Commented [ur24]: no dot needed

Report
Word Length 185
Comments
1. The purpose is apparent in the introduction but is not clearly
explained in the conclusion.
2. The letter tries to include relevant case notes, but somerequired
information is missing.
3. An attempt to organize the content logically is seen, but order of
information and paragraphing need much more improvement in
places.
4. In addition, there are few inaccuracies related to vocabulary,
basic grammar and sentence structure.
5. A lot of errors regarding past tense use.
6. Overall, the letter needs much improvement.
Estimated Grade C
Estimated Score 300/500
Advice 1. Convey the purpose of the document generally in the
introduction.
2. Always read and select case notes carefully.
3. Avoid basic grammar errors.
4. Improve choice of words.
5. Improve tense usage.
6. Improve coherence/paragraphing.
7. Always proofread the letter after finishing it.
OETade OETademy offers comprehensive packages to cater to your OET preparation
needs:
my
Courses
PREMIUM PACKAGE
11 Live Zoom Orientation Sessions
08 “One-to-One” Speaking Sessions (with Feedback)
08 Letter Assessments (02 Letters will be Benchmark Assessed)Complete Study
Material
24/7 WhatsApp Support for any Queries
Detailed Guidelines regarding Test Day and What to Expect

➡ Discounted Price: RS. 8999/-Detailed Listening & Reading Guidance along with
Tips & Tricks
OETademy Letter Rs. 799/Letter
Assessmn Rs. 4999 / 6 Letters (Bulk Offer)
t Service