GE NT LE ME N S BOOK OF E T IQUE TT E

AN D

MAN UAL O F PO LITEN E SS ;

BE IN G

A C OMP LE TE G U ID E F OR A G E N T L E MA N S ’
C ON U D CT I N AL L
HI S RE L A T I O N S T O WA R DS S O C IE T Y .

CONTAI NIN G

R U L E S F O R T H E E T I QU E T T E T O B E O B S E R V E D I N T HE S T RE E T , A T
TAB L E , IN THE B AL L R OOM, E V E N IN G PARTY , AN D M OR N
IN G C AL L ; W ITH F U L L D I R E C T I ON S F O R P O L I T E C OR
R E S P O N D E N C E , D R E SS , C O N V E R S A T I O N , MAN L Y
E ! E R C IS E S, A N D A C C OM P L I S H M E N T S .

b
‘

FROM THE BEST FRENCH, ENGLISH, AND AMERICAN AUTHORITIES .

CECIL R T L EY .

I
P H LADELP H A I
G G . E V A N S PUB LI S HE R
, ,
N o . 43 9 HE N U S RE E
C ST T T T .

1860 ,
 E n te re d ac c or di ng t o th e Ac t of C o n g r e s s , i n th e y e ar 1 8 6 0, by

G . G . E VAN S ,

i n th e C l k Ofi
er
’
s f ce o f th e Di t i
s r ct C o u r t f or t h e E a s te rn Di s tr i c t of

P enn s yl v an i a .
 I NT RODUC T ION .

MAN was t d d to liv lik a b ar or a h rmit apart

n ot in en e e e e e ,

f rom oth rs f h is w
e O atur d p hilosop h y d r a o will
o n n e , an ,
an e s n

a h agr with m that m w bor f so iability d fi ds

e c ee e, an as n or c an n

hi tru d light i so i ty
s e e S o i ty i a w ord ap abl
n c e f ma y
. c e s c e o n

m a i g
e n n d us d h r i
s , an a h d all f th m So i ty
e e e n e c an o e . c e ,

p ll
a r ex c e ; t h w
en ce or ld at lar g ; teh l i ttl l i qu to w h i h h e e e c e c e

i bo u d by a ly ti s ; th om p a io ship f f ri ds or r lati s ;
s n e r e ec n n o en e ve

e ven so i ty t t t t with
c e e e a d ar symp athi i g soul
e e on e e z n , ar e

p l asa
e t
n stat s f a m to b i
e or an e n .

Tak i g th w ord
n
W e d v i w i t i th w orld ;
b ut i th light w wish to impr s i O boo k it i th small r
n e e es n
e

ur
e ,

s
s e

e e

world f th ha gi g p l asa t i t r ours f a h ity or tow

O e c n n , e n n e c e o e c c n

i w h i h o ur r ad r m y ha e to ab id
n c e e a c nc e .

This so i ty om pos d as it i f _m a y aryi g atur

c e , c e , s, o n v n n es

an d l m ts w h r
e e en a h i di idual m ust subm it to m rg hi
, e e e c n v e e s

o w id
n tity i to th u i rsal whol whi h m k s th w ord
en n e n ve e, c a e e

an d stat i di id d
e, s d s ubdi id d i to vario us li q
v e an us d v e n c e , an

h asa p astim f v ry disp ositio gra or g y ; d w ith a h

e or e e n, ve a an e c

di isio ris s p a w t f f orm s d r m o i s to b h

v n e u ne se o an ce e n e e O

3
4 : I N TRO D U CTION .

Se rv d if y wish to glid dow th urr t f p olit lif

e ou e n e c en O e e,

sm ooth ly d p l sa tly an ea n .

Th y o u g m e w h m ak s h i fi st
n an tra i to th w orld
o e s r en n ce n e

o f so i ty ho uld k o w h w to hoos hi f ri ds
c e , S n d
o t c e s en , an n ex

h w to o du t h im s lf to w ards th m
o c n c E p ri e i f e . x e en ce s, o

c ours th b st guid b ut at first tarti g this m u t om

e, e e e, s n s c e sec

on d ha d f rom n ld r f ri d or f rom book s

, an O e en , .

A j udi io u s f ri d i t h b st g ui d
c en b ut h w is th y ou g
s e e e o e n

m to k ow w hom to hoos ! Wh at hom this f ri d

an n c e en e en is

easily s l t d ; b ut i this ou try w h r a h bird l av s th

e ec e n c n , e e e c e e e

p ar t en st as soo ne as h i w i g s w i ll b ar
n h i m sa f l y ps th nr e e u , e e

ar e b ut f w w h st y am o gst th f ri ds at hom
e o a n e en e .

N t th ex om s th i stru tio f rom books

en c e e n c n .

Tr u a book will e t f ully s u pp ly th p la no ith r f p e ce e e o ex e ri

e n ce or f ri dly advi still it m y b m ad us f ul d ar

en ce , a e e e , an , c e

f lly writt
u f rom t h p ri
en f h ads grow e exgray e en ce O e n In

o ty with o ly w ll auth ti at d rul s it will b a guid

S ci e , n e en c e e , e e

no t to b d sp is d by th y o u g asp ira t f
e e e f avor i p olit
e d n n or n e an

r fi d ir l s
e ne c c e .

Y o u g i to so i ty f rom m i d m otiv s ; p artly f

o n c e p l as u r xe e or e e,

r r at o af t r th f atigu s f y our daily duti s d p artly

ec e i n e e e o e , an

that y m y b om ou a I a r p ubli a
ec e ou try wh r n e c n c n e e

m a s pp ortu iti s f as good thos f

’
on e n O mg n e or r i s ar e as e o an

oth r amb itio w ill l ad v ry r s g m i to so i ty

e ,
n e e e i in an n c e .

You m y t i t dow a as a rul that y tr at th w orld

se n e, as ou e e ,

SO t h w orld w ill tr at y
e C arry i to th e ir l s f so i ty
ou . n e c c e O c e

a r fi d p oli h d m a r d am iab l d sir to p l as

e ne , s e nne , a n an e e e e e,

an d i t w ill m t y w ith s mili g gra

ee ou d l ad y f orw ard n c e , an e ou

p l asae tl y alon g t h fl o w ry p aths

n ; g e t h o trar y
e w i th o , on e c n ,
/

b r usg r d m
u e, a r startl
u i eg all t h s i l
nn e k y so ,
f t ss b f or yn e ne e e ou
 I N TRO DU CTI O N . 5

wi th thrust r m arks arry i g o ly th hard r aliti s

cut an d e , c n n e e e

o f l if i y o ur h
e nd d y w ill fi d so ty m d to m t
an , an ou n ci e ar e ee

y ho
ou , S w i g o ly har pn or e rs n d thors y p l s f c
y o r n an n ac e or u

blu d r i g f oot t p s to stum bl agai t

n e n s e e ns .

Y o u w ill fin d i v ry ir l that tiqu tt hold som sw ay ;

n e e c c e e e e s e

h er rul i d sp oti i som p la s i oth s m ild d ily

e s e c n e ce , n er , a n e as

se t a id s Y o ur first l sso
e . i o i ty w ill b to tudy wh re n n s c e e s e e

s h r i g s s up r m i h
e e n row d holdi g h s p tr d
e e, n er c n an n er ce e , an

wh r h o ly glid s i w ith a g tl h i t or
e e s e n e d t im i dl y
n en e n S O , an

t p s o ut if r b uk d ;
s e d l t y o ur o d u t b g o r d b y t h
e e an e c n c e ve n e e

r sult f y our obs r atio s Y ou w ill soo b om f am iliar

e o e v n . n ec e

w i th th ig s d t ll
e s ny o
,
u r first
an tra i to
e a roo m
on en nce n

w h h r kid g lo s
et e d q u i s i t fi i
ve h f m a
an r w ill exb p e n s o nne e a

“
p p ro i t or wh th r it i hail f llow w ll m t w ith th
r a e, e e s , e , e e
”
e

i m at s R m m b r how r o a g tl m a alw ays

“
n e . e e e , eve ,
nce en e n a

g tl
en m a e d b n, s u r that
an y soe rr y o u t t h
e ru l ou c an ca e e,

that i your m ost ar l ss j oyous m om ts wh f r st f rom

n c e e , en , en ee

t h r strai ts f
e e tiqu tt yn o still b r og i abl as a
e e e, ou c an e ec n z e

g t
enl m eb y r
any t w ord or
e ve loo k ac , , .

Avoi d too gr at a r strai t f m a e r Stiff ss i t p

e n o n ne . ne s no o

lit ss d w hil y obs r v ry rul y m y app ar to

ene , an , e ou e ve e e e, ou a e

h d o
ee n T m ak y o ur p olit
ne . o ss p art f y ours lf i p
e ene o e ,
nse ar

abl f rom v ry a tio i th h ight f g tl ma ly l ga

e e e c n, s e e o en e n e e n ce

an d fi ish f m a n r o nne .
 C ON T EN T S .

I N T R O D UC T I O N

C HAP TE R I .

C O N VE R S A TIO N ..

C H AP T RE II .

C HAP TER III .

TA B L E E TIQUE T TE

C H AP TER IV .

E TI QUE T T E IN T HE STRE E T

C HAP TER V .

E TI QUE TTE F OR C A L L IN G
8 CO N EN
T TS

C H AP ER
T VI .

PAG E

E T IQUE TT E F O R THE B AL L R O O M

C HAP TER VI I .

C H AP TER VIII .

MA N L Y E ! E R C IS E S

C HAP TER I! .

C H AP TER X .

E TI QUE TT E IN C H U RC H

C H AP TER ! I .

ON E H UN D R E D H IN T S F O R G E N TL E MA N L Y DE P O RT M ENT

C H AP TER ! II .

C HAP TER X III .

C O URT E S Y AT H OME

C HAP TER ! IV .

T R UE C O U R T E S Y

C H AP TE R X V .

L E TT E R WRITIN G
 C ON N
TE TS .

C H AP ER
T ! VI .

WE DDIN G E T IQUE T T E

C HAP TER XVII .

E T I QUE TT E F O R P L AC E S O F AMUS E ME N T

CH A T P ER XV I II .

MIS C E L L AN E O US O O O O C Q 0 0 .0 .0 0 0 0 0 0 . O Q O O D O O O O O O O O ) O O O O
 GE NT LE ME N S BOOK OF E T IQUE TT E
’
.

C HAP TE R I .

O NV R O N C E SATI .

O of th first rul s f a g uid i polit co v rsa

NE e e or e n e n e

tio is to avoid political or r ligio u s discussio s i

n, e n n

g ral soci ty S uch d iscussio s l ad almost i variably

en e e . n e n

to irritati g diff r c s f Opi io oft to op quar

n e en e o n n, en en

r ls d a cool ss f f li g w hich might hav b

e , a n ne o ee n e e en

avoid d b y droppi g th distast f ul subj t as soo as

e n e e ec n

mark d diff r c s f Opi io aros It is b u t

e e en e outo n n e . on e

o f ma y t hat n discu s ith r political or r ligious dif

c an s e e e

f with ca dor d judgm t d y t so far

e r en c e s , n an e n , an e

, co trol his la gu ag d t mp r as to avoid ith r givi g

n n e an e e e e n

or taki g o ff c n en e .

I th ir plac i circl s which hav m t for such dis

n e e, n e e e

i i
c us s o n s , n a tet ! tet co v rsatio i a s m all party
‘
e a
‘
e n e n, n

of g tl m Wh r ach is r ady court o u sly to list

en e en e e e e e en

to t h oth rs politics m y b discuss d with p r f ct pro

e e , a e e e e

p i t
r e
y b u t i ,t h dra w i g roo m at
n t h di r tabl
e or n -

,
e nne -
e,

i th
n i t y f ladi s th s to pics
e soc e /
b st avoid d
O e , e e ar e e e .

If you draw i to s u h a disc u ssio w itho u t i

ar e n n c n n

t di g to b so b car f ul that yo u r i divid u al opi io

en n e , e e n n n

11
12 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
OF E TIQUE TE T .

d o s t l ad you i to la guag d actio

e no e b comi g
n n e an ns u n e n

a g tl ma L ist court o u sly to thos whos Opi

en e n. en e e e ni-

Io s do t agr with yours d k p y t mp

n no ee A ,
a n ee ou r e er .

m an i a passio c as s to b
n g tl m a n e e e a en e n.

E v if co vi c d that your Oppo t is utt rly wro g

en n n e .
n en e n ,

yi ld grac f lly d cli f urth r discussio or d xtro u sly

e e u , e ne e n, e

t ur th n co v rsatio b ut do t obsti at ly d f d
e n e n, no n e e en

your w Opi io u til you b co m a gry m or x

o n n n n e e n ,
o r e e

cit d tha is b co m i g to a g tl ma
e n e n en e n.

M a y th r n who givi g th ir op o
e e ar e t ,
n e i ni n, no as an

O zn
p w b ut as an l w wi l l d f d th ir positio b y such
a ,
e en e n

“
phras s as W ll if I w r pr sid t or gov r or I
e : e e e e en , e n
, ,

would & — d w hil b y t h warmth of th ir argu

,
c . an e e e

m t th y prov that th y
en e utt rly u a bl to gov r
e e ar e e n e e n

t h ir we t mp r th y will d avor to p rsuad y

o n e e , e en e e e ou

t hat th y p r f ctly co mp t t to tak charg of t h

e ar e e e e en e e e

gov r m t of t h atio
e n en e n n.

R tai if you will

e n, fix d poli t ical Opi io y t d ,
a e n n, e o

no t parad it upo all occa io s d ab ov all do t

e n s n , an , e ,
no

en d avor t f
e oth rs to agr with you List
o or c e e ee . en

calmly to th ir id as upo t h sam subj cts d if you

e e n e e e ,
an

ca ot agr difi polit ly d whil your oppo t

nn ee ,
'

er e ,
a n e n en

m y t y a dow as b ad politicia l t him b oblig d

se ou n
‘

a n, e e e

t ad mit that y u
o g t l m o ar e a en e an .

Wit d ivacity two highly importa t i gr di t

an v ar e n n e en s

i t h co v rsatio of m i polit soci ty y t

‘

n e n e n a an n e e , e a

s tra g f ff ct or forc d wit is i xc ssiv ly b ad

i ni n or e e , e ,
n e e e

t ast Th r is
e . mor supportab l i soci ty
e e n o on e e in e n e

t ha t h n v rlasti g talk rs who sca tt pu witticis m s

e e e n e er ns, ,

an d jok e with so profus a ha d that th y b co m as

s e n e e e

t ir som as
e comic wspap r d who loud laugh at
e a ne e , an se
 O NV ER SA O N 13 C TI .

th ir w wit drow s oth r voic s which might sp ak

e o n n e e e

m att r m or i t r sti g Th r ally w itty m do

e e n e e n . e e an es

no t show r f orth his wit so discri m i at ly ; his har m

e In n e c

co sists i w i ldi g his pow r f ul w a po d licat ly d

n n e n e e n e e an

e asily d m aki g ach highly polish d witticis m co m

,
a n n e e e

i t h right plac
n ed m o m t to b ff ct u al Whil e an en e e e . e

r al wit is a m ost d lightf ul gif t d its

e a m ost e ,
an us e

char m g ac o mplish m t it is lik m a y oth r b right

in c en , ,
e n e

w apo s da g rous to
e n too o f t
,
nYou m y w o u d
e us e en . a n

wh r you m a t o ly to am us
e e d r m arks whi h you
e n n e , an e c

m a o ly i f g ral ap plicatio s m y b co str u d

e n n n or en e n ,
a e n e

i to p rso al fi t so if you hav th gif t

n e n a
'

it
r on s , ,
e e ,
u s e

wis ly d t too f r ly
e ,
a n no ee .

Th most i m porta t r quisit f

e a good co v rsatio al n e e or n e n

pow r is ducatio e d by this is m a t

e t m r ly t h
n , an ,
e n ,no e e e

matt r you may stor i yo u r m m ory f rom obs rvatio

e e n e e n

or b ooks though this is of vast i mporta c but it als

,
n e, o

i cl u d s t h d v lopi g f th m tal pow rs d abov

n e e e e n o e en e ,
a n , e

all t h co m pr h sio A E glish writ r says A

e e
“ en n. n n e
, ,

m hould b abl i ord r to t r i to co v rsatio

an s e e, n e en e n n e n,

to cat h rapidly t h m a i g of a ythi g that is d

c e e n n n n a

van c e d; f i sta c though yO k now othi g f sci

or n n e, u n n o

en c you sho uld t b oblig d to star d b sil t

e, no e e e an e en ,

wh a m who do s u d rsta d it is plai i g a w

en an e n e n ex n n ne

discov ry or a w th ory ; though you hav t r ad

e ne e e no e a

word f B la ksto your co m pr h siv pow rs sho uld

o c ne, e en e e

b s u ffici tly acut to

e abl you to tak
en t h stat e en e e In e e

m t that may b mad f a r c t ca s ; tho u gh you

en e e o e en u e

may t hav r ad so m partic ular b ok you ho uld b

no e e e o ,
S e

capabl f appr ciati g t h criticis m which you h ar of

e o e n e e

—
it Without u ch pow r impl oug h d sily t
‘

s e s e en a n ea a
,
.
14 G EN TLE ME N S BOOK OF E IQUE E ’
T TT .

t ain e d tt tio by d practica

y t too
en s l domn m t an e, e e e

w ith i n —
g ral soci ty co v rsatio which d parts
en e e a n e n e

from th mos t ordi ary topics ca o t b mai tai d

e n nn e n ne

without th risk of lapsi g i t e l ctur ; with such n n o a e e

pow r oc ty b om s structiv
e , S ie w ll as a musi g
ec e in e as e n ,

d you hav r m rs t v i g s d at havi g ’

an e no e o e a an e en n en n

was t d thr or f our hours i p fitl b a t r or im

e ee n ro ess n e , S

p r g platitud
e in Thi facility f compr h sio Oft
es. s o e en n en

s tartl s us i om wom whos du atio w k ow t

e n s e en , e e c n e n o

hav b poor d wh s r adi g lim it d If th y

e e en ,
an o e e n is e . e

did t rapidly r c v your id as th y co ld t th r

no e ei e e , e u no , e e

for b fit compa io s f i t ll ctual m

e, e d it i
n n or n e e e n , an s,

p rhaps
e th ir co scious
,
ss of e d fici cy which
n l ad ne a e en e s

t h m to pay t h mor att

e tio t what you say It i
e e en n o . s

t his which mak s marri d wom much mor agr abl

e e en S O e ee e

t m o of thought tha you g ladi s a rul

en b n n e , as e , c an e,

for th y accustom d to th soci ty of a hus b a d d

e ar e e e e n ,
a n

th d t to b a compa o to his m i d has graft d

’

e e or e ni n n en e

t h hab i t of att tio d r ady r ply ”

e en n an e e .

Th sam author says

e
“ N o l s m port t i th
e : e s i an s e

cultivat o of tast If it is t r so m d d ad i g t
i n e . i e e an e en n o

b with p opl wh ca not u d rsta d

e e e d willo t v n n e n ,
a n no e en

a pp ar to b i t r st d i your b tt r thoughts it i
e e n e e e n e e , s

a l m os t r pulsiv to fi d m i s sibl t all b auty

e e n a an n en e o e ,

an d immovab l b y y horror e an .

I t h pr e t day a c qua ta c with t v

'

n e s en n a in n e ar , e en

if you hav lov for it i e i g

no d of good e , s a s ne n
‘
n on

s oci ty M e . d pai ti g subj cts which will b

u S Ic a n n n ar e e e

discuss d i v ry d ir ctio arou d you It is o ly i

e n e e e n n . n n

b ad oc ty that p opl go to t h op r co c rts

S ie e d e e e a, n e ,
a n

ar t xhi b itio m r ly b c us it is t h fashio or t s y

e ns e e e a e e n
, o a
 C ONVER SA ION T . 15

th y hav b th r ; d if y
e e f
een d t such e e an ou c on e s s e o a

w ak ss i r ally good soci ty you would b j u stly

e ne n e e , e

vot d a p uppy F or this too so m b ook k owl dg is

e .
, ,
e n e e

i disp sabl You should at l ast k ow th am s f

n en e . e n e n e o

t h mor c l br at d artists co m po rs archit cts sc ulp

e e e e e ,
se , e ,

tors d so forth d hould b ab l to approximat

,
an ,
a n s e e e

th ir s v ral schools
e e e .

S too y o hould k o w pr tty accurat ly th pro

, ou S n e e e

i ti
n un c a f c l brat d
on am s or if t tak car
o e e e n e , ,
no , e e

no t to th m It will v r do to b ig ora t of th
use e . ne e e n n e

n am s d approxim at ag s f gr at co m pos rs s p
e an e e o e e , e e

i lly i l arg
c a iti s wh r music is so highly appr ciat d
n e c e , e e e e

an d so co m mo a th m It will b d cid dly n e e . e e e c on

d m t y if you talk f t h w op ra D Giova i ’

e n a or o e ne e on nn ,

R i i Tr ovator or ig ora t who co mp os d

’ ’
or os s n s e, ar e n n e

‘
F id lio ed i what op ra occ u r such co mm o pi c
,
’
an n e n e es

as Ci l li or I l g t I do t say that
a s cu n o c e e,
’ ‘
se re o .
’
no

th s t ifl
e e i disp sabl
r es d wh a m ha
ar e n en e, an en an s

b tt r k owl dg to o ff r sp cially with g ius or

e e n e e e , e e en

cl v r ss to back it h will t o ly b pardo d for

e e ne
’

, e no n e ne

an ig ora c f th m but
n n v tak a high to
e o e , c an e en e ne,

an d pro f ss i di ff er c or co t mpt f th m
e n B ut at en e n e o
;
e .
,

t h sam tim
e such ig ora c stamps ordi ary m
e e, n n e an n an ,

an d hi d r co v rsation O t h oth r ha d t h b st
e s n e n. n e e n e e

soci ty will t dur dil tta tis m d what v r t h

e no en e e n ,
a n , e e e

k owl dg a m may poss ss of y art h m ust t

n e e an e an , e no

display it so as to m ak th ig ora c of oth rs pai f ul e e n n e e n

to th m B ut this appli s to v ry topic T hav o ly

e . e e e . o e n

on e or t w subj cts to co v rs o d to disco u rse n e e o n , an e

rath r tha talk th m is always ill br d wh th r th

e n on e ,
-
e , e e e

th em b lit ratur or h fi h Th g tl ma jock y

e e e e or s e es . e en e n e
16 C EN TL EMEN S
’
B OO K OF ETI QUE TTE .

will prob ab ly d ou c t h form r b or end call n e e e as a

‘
e , an
’

us p da ts f dw lli g t ; b t if is too oft t h

e n or e n on I u
,
a s en e

cas h e, giv us othi g mor g ral tha th dis

e c an e
“
n n e en e n e

i
c us s on of t h poi ts of hors that p rhaps w e
‘
n
’
a e , e , e

hav rs
e n e ve h i as gr a t a p da t i his w y
e en , e s e e n n a

R plays a l ss co spicuous part i good soci ty

e a s on e n n e

b caus its f r qu t rs
e e t r aso ab l to b m r
e en e ar e oo e n e e e e

re aso rs A disputat o is always da g rous to t m p r

ne . i n n e e e ,

an d t dio u s t thos who ca

e ot f l as ag r as t h dis
o e nn ee e e e

p t
u an st ; discussio t h
a oth ha d i w hic h n , on e er n , n

e v ry b ody has cha c of stati g amicab ly d u o h

e a n e n an n

t i ly his or h
r us ve Opi io mus t b of fr equ t occur er n n, e en

r en c Bu t to cul tivat t h r aso b sid it high

e . e e e n, e es s

moral valu h t h adva tag of abli g to r ply

e, as e n e en n on e e

as w ll as att d to th Opi io of oth rs N othi g i

e en e n ns e . n s

mor t dious dish art g tha

e e p rp tual Y
or e en i n n a e e ,
‘
es,

j ust so d othi g mor

,
’
an Co v rsatio must v
n n e . n e n ne er

b e sid d Th agai th r as o abl

on e -
e . t en, n, e e n en es us o

s upport a fa cy or op o wh w n sk d 7 9 an i ni n, en e ar e a e 20 2 !

W thi k so T r ply I do t k ew b ut till I thi k

’
e n . o e ,
n n , s n

s o, is illy d t dious
’
S an e .

“B ut th r is part of e educatio n i mporta t a o ur e so n

d so gl ct d i o u r schools d coll g s that it

,

an ne e e n an e e , c an

t b too highly i m pr ss d t h you g m who pro

’

no e e e on e n an

pos s to t r soci ty I m a that which w l ar first

e en e e . e n e e n

of all thi gs y t Oft hav t l ar d fully wh d ath

n , e en e no e ne en e

e as s e f th us o —
c ssity th art of sp aki g our w
e ne e e e n o n

l a guag
n What e Gr k
. d L ati F r ch d c an ee an n, en an

G rma b for us i our v ry day lif if w hav

e n e t n e e -
e, e e no

acqu r d this ! W
i e oft courag d to ra s e ar e en en e i e a

l augh t D cto Sy tax d t h ty

a o y of Grammar
r n an e r an n ,
18 G ENT EME N S BOOK OF E Q UE TE
L
’
TI T .

s oci ty mor mporta t tha w h t w r ad Th

e e i n n a e e . e

m who tak s up othi g b u t a w s p ap r b ut r ad

an e n n ne e , e s

it to thi k to d d ct co cl u sio s f ro m its pr mis s d

n ,
e u n n e e , an

for m a judg m t its opi io s is m or fitt d f soci ty

en on n n , e e or e

tha h who havi g all t h curr t l it ratur d d vot

n e, n e en e e an e

i g his whol ti m to its p rusal swallows it all Withou t

n e e e ,

dig stio I fa t t h m i d must b tr at d lik th

e n . n c , e n e e e e e

b ody d how v r gr at its ap p tit i t will soo f l l

,
a n e e e e e, n a

i to bad h alth if it gorg s b u t do s t r um i at At

n e e , e no n e.

th ea m timS acquai ta c wi th t h b s t curr t

e e an n n e e e en

lit rat u r is c ssary to mod r soci ty d it i t

e e ne e e n e ,
a n s no

su ffi t to hav r ad a book witho u t b i g abl to pas

Ci en e e e n e s

a j u dg m t po it Co v rsatio
en u lit rat u r
n m . n e n on e e is I

possibl wh yo u r r spo d t
e, eno ly say Y I e n en c an n
,
‘
es ,

l ik t h b ook , but I r ally do t k ow why

’ ’
e e e n n .

“A acquai ta c with l d E glish lit ratur i

n n nt e o n e e s no

p rhaps i disp sab l b ut it g v s a m gr at d

e n en e, i e an e a va n

tag i all ki ds of soci ty d so m h is at

e n n e ,
a n in e e a c on

s ta t loss without it Th sam may b said of for g

n . e e e ei n

lit ratur which i t h pr s t day is l m ost as much

e e, n e e en a

discuss d as our w ; b ut
e th oth r ha d o n , on e e n , an ac

quai ta c with hom d for g politics with curr t

n n e e an ei n , en

history d subj cts of pa ssi g i t r st i ab sol u t ly

,
a n e n n e e , s e

ne c ssary e d a p rso of suff ici t i t llig c to j o

an e n en n e en e in

good oc ty ca ot disp s W th his daily ws

S ie ,
nn en e i ne

pap r his lit rary j our al d t h pr c pal r vi ws

e , e n ,
a n e in i e e

an d m agazi es Th ch ap ss of v ry ki d f lit r
n . e e ne e e n o e a

t ur t h f aciliti s of l w ll stor d ci c u lati g librari s e

‘

e, e e O lI e r n e ,

p ublic r a di g roo m s d u m ero s xc ll

n t l ,
a n n e u e e en ec

tur s e v ry possibl s ubj ct l av

on e e xc u s t O poo e e ,
e e no e e r

or rich f g or c of y f th top c discuss d i

o r an i n an e an O e i s e n
 O NVER SA O N 19
C TI .

i t ll ctu al o ty Yo u m y f org t your L ati Gr k

n e e S ci e . a e n, ee ,

Fr h G m a
enc ,
d M ath em atics b u t if yo u f r q u t
er n , an , e en

good o mp a y you will v r b allow d to f org t that

c n , ne e e e e

yo u a citiz f t h world
ar e en o e .

A m f r al i t llig c a d cultivat d m i d i
an o e n e en e n e n , s

g r ally m od st H may f l wh i v ry day

en e e . e ee en n e e

s oci ty that
e ,
t ll ctual acquir m ts h is abov
in in e e e en e e

thos aro u d him ; b ut h will t s k to m ak his m

e n e no ee e co

pa io s f l th ir i f riority
n n ee try t dis play thi
e n e ,
n o r o s

adva tag ov r th m H will disc u ss with f ra k im

n e e e . e n S

p l i ict y t h to p ics start

e d by oth rs d d avor to e e ,
an en e

avoid starti g s u ch as th y will t f l i cli d to dis

n e no ee n ne

c u ss All that h s ays will b m ark d by polit s

.
!
e e e en e s

an d d f r c to t h f li gs
e e en e d Opi io s f oth rs e ee n an n n o e .

L B r u y r says
a
“ Th gr at char m f co v rsatio
e e e e o n e n
,

co sists l ss i th display of o s w wit d i t lli

n e n e ne
’
o n an n e

g c tha i t h pow r to draw forth t h r sourc s of

en e, n n e e
'

e e e

oth rs ; h who l av you aft r a lo g co v rsatio

e e e es e n n e n,

pl as d with hims l f d t h part h has tak i th

e e e an e e en n e

discours will b yo ur war m st ad mir r M do t

e, e e e . en no

car to ad mir you th y wish you to b pl as d with

e e ,
e e e e

th m ; th y do t s k for i structio or v amus

e e no ee n n e en e

m t f rom yo u r disco u rs but th y do wish you to b

en e, e e

mad ac qu ai t d with th ir tal ts d pow rs of

e n e e en an e c on

ve rsatio ; d t h tru m f g iu s will d licat ly

n an e e an o en e e

mak all who co m i co tact with him f l th xquis

e e n n , ee e e

i t satis f actio of k owi g that th y hav app ar d to

e n n n e e e e

adva tag n e .

Havi g ad mitt d th abov to b

n i co t stabl f act
e e e e an n n e e ,

you will als that it is as gr at accomplishm t

o see e an en
20 C E N TL E MEN S
’

BOOK OF E QUE E TI TT .

to list with air of i t r st d att tio as it is t

en an n e e an en n, o

S p ak W ll
e e .

T b a good list
o e r is as i disp sabl as to b en e
.
n en e e a

good tal k r d it is i th charact r of list r tha t

e , an n e e en e

you ’

m ost r adily d t ct t h m
can who is acc u sto m d
e e e e an e

t good soci ty
o N othi g mor mbarrassi g to y
e . n Is e e n an

one who is sp aki g tha to p rc v g s of w ari s

e n ,
n e ei e Si n e ne s

or att tio I t h p rso who m h addr ss s

in en n n e .
e n e e e .

N v r t rr u pt y
e e In e who is sp aki g ; it is q uit an on e e n e

as rud to fi i ly s upply a am or dat abo u t w hich

e o c o us n e e
’

an oth r h sitat s u l ss you

e e ask d to do so A
e , n e ar e e . no

th r gross b r a h f ti qu tt
e to a ticipat t h poi t
e c o e e e, i s n e e n

O f a story whic h a oth r p rso r c ti g or to tak it n e e n is e i n , e

fro m his lips to fi ish it your w la gu ag S o m n In o n n e . e

p rso s pl ad as
e n xcus f this b r ach f tiqu tt
e an e e or e O e e e,

t ha t t h r it r was spoili g a good story by a bad m

e ec e n an

n er , b ut thi do s t m d th matt r It is sur l y

s e no en e e . e

rud to g v m to u d rsta d that you do t

e i e a an n e n no c on

s id him c pab l of fi ishi g a cdot tha t h h

er a e n n an ne e e as

comm c d en e .

It is ill b r d to put -
of w ar ss duri g
e on an ai r e i ne n a

l o g sp ch from a oth r p rso

n ee d quit as r u d t n e e n , an e e o

l ook at wa tch r ad a l tt r flirt t h l av s f book

'

a , e e e ,
e e e o a ,

or y
in oth r
an actio ho w that y e tir d of t h n s ou ar e e e

s p ak r or his subj ct
e e e .

I g ral co v rsatio
n a en e v r sp ak wh a oth n e n, n e e e en n er

p rso
e sp aki g d v r try by ra s g your w
n IS e n , an ne e i in o n

vo i c e to drow that of a oth r N v r assum n n e . e e e an ai r

o f haugh ti ss or p ak i nea dictatorial m a r ; l t

, s e n nne e

y ou cor v rsatio b n lwayse mia b l d fr n k fr e a a e an an , ee

 O NVE RSA O N 21 C TI .

Put yo u rs l f t h sa m l v l as t h p rso to w hom

e on e e e e e e n

yo u p eak d u d r p alty f b i g co sid r d a

S ,
an n e en o e n n e e

p da ti idiot r f rai i g f rom plai i g y p ssio

e n c , e n n ex n n an ex re n

or w ord that you m y a use.

N v r u l s you
e e , r q u st d to do so s p ak f
n e s ar e e e e ,
e o

yo ur w b u si ss r pro f ssio i so i ty ; to o fi
o n ne o e n n c e c n ne

yo u r co v rsatio tir ly to t h subj ct or p urs u it whi h

n e n en e e e c

i yo u r w sp iality is low br d
s o n d v ulgar
ec -
e an .

M ak t h s ubj ct f co v rsatio s u it t h co m p y
e e e or n e n e an

in which you plac d Joyo u s light co

ar e v rsatio e .
,
n e n

will b at tim s as m u h o u t f pla as a s r m w o uld

e e c o ce, e on

b at a da i g party
e L t yo u r co v rsatio b grav
nc n . e n e n e e

or gay as s uits t h tim or plac e e e .

I a disp u t if yo u ca
n ot r co cil t h parti s with
e, nn e n e e e ,

draw fro m th m Yo u w ill s u r ly m ak e . my e e on e en e ,

p rhaps t w by taki g ith r id i

e o, arg u m t wh n e e S e , n an en en

t h sp ak rs hav lost th ir t m p r
e e e e e e e .

N v r g stic ulat i v ry day co v rsatio

e e e ls e n e e n e n , un e s

yo u w ish to b m istak f fif th rat co m dia

e en or a e e n .

N v r ask y e e w h is o v rsi g w ith yo u to

an one o c n e n re

p at his words N othi g is r u d r tha to say P ardo

e
“ n e n n
.
,

m will yo u r p at that s t
e, — I did e t h ar you
e e n en c e no e

at first d th u s im ply that yo u r att tio w a w a d r

,
an en n s n e

i g wh
n h first spok en e e .

N v r du ri g a g al co v rsatio
e e , n d a or to e n er n e n , en e v

c o c trat t h att tio wholly upo yo u rs lf It is

n en e e en n n e .

q uit as r u d to t r i to o v rsatio w ith

e e f a
en e n c n e n on e o

gro up d d avor to draw him o u t f t h circl f

,
a n en e o e e o

g r al co v rsatio to talk w ith you alo

en e n e n ne.

N v r list to t h co v rsatio f t w p rso s wh

e e en e n e n O o e n o

hav thu s withdr w f ro m a grou p If th y so ar

e a n . e ar e ne
22 C EN TLEMEN S
’
BOO K or E TIQUE TTE
you that you ca ot avoid h ari g th m y u may with nn e n e , o ,

p rf ct prop ri ty ha g yo u r s t
e e e ,
c n e ea

M ak your w har i co v rsatio as m od st d

e o n S e n n e n e an

b ri f as e co sist t with th subj ct u d r co sid ra

is n en e e n e n e

tio d avoid lo g p ch s
n , an d t dious stori s If n S ee e an e e .
,

how v r a oth r partic ularly old m t lls lo g

e e , n e , an an , e a n

s tory or ,
that is t w to you list r sp ct f ully
on e no ne , en e e

u til h has fi ish d b

n e
y u sp ak agai
n e ,
e i or e o e n.

S p ak f yours lf b ut littl
e o Your f ri ds will fi d e e. en n

ou t your V rtu s without forc g you to t ll th m

i e d in e e , a n

yo u m y f l co fid t that it is qually u c ssary t

,

'

a ee n en e nn e e o

e xpo yo u r faults yo u rs lf
se e .

If y s ub mit to flat t ry you must also sub mi t to t h

ou e , e

i mp u tatio f folly d s l f co c itn O an e -

n e .

I p aki g of your f ri ds do t co m par th m

n S e n en ,
no e e ,

on e x w it h a oth r S p ak of t h m rits f ach

n e .but e e e o e on e,

d o no t try to h ight t h Virtu s of e by co trasti g

e en e e on n n

th m W th t h V c s f a oth r
e i e i e o n e .

N o matt r h w ab s rd t h a n cdot s th t m y b
e o u ar e e e e a a e

t old i yo u r pr s c you must v r giv y ig f

n e en e, ne e e an S n o

in cr d ulity Th y m y b tru ; d v if f als good

e . e a e e an e en e,

b r di g forc s you to h ar th m with polit att tio

ee n e e e e en n,

an d t h app ara c of b li f
e T how b y word O ig
e n e e e . o S r S n

an
y tok f i cr dulit
en o
y to giv t h l i
n to t h rra e ,
IS e e e e na

tor , an d that u pardo ab l s u lt IS a n n n e In .

Avoid c o v rsatio ll s ubj cts which

,
i n n i jur e n a e c an n e

th abs t A g tl ma W ll v r cal um iat

e en . en e n i ne e n e or

l ist to calum y
en n .

N d I say that g tl m a W ll v r soil his mouth

ee no en e n i e e

W thi oath Abov all to s w ar i a dra w i g room

an . e , e n n -

or b for lad i s i
e t e ly i d licat d vulgar i th
e s no on n e e an n e
 O NVER A O N 23 C S TI .

ex tr m but vi c s a sho ki g ig ora

e e, e f t h r ul s
n e c n n nce o e e

o f polit so i ty d good br di g
e c e an ee n .

F or a lo g tim th w orld has adopt d a c rtai f or m

n e e e e n

of s p ch w hi ch is u s d i good soci ty d w hi h
ee e n e ,
a n c

cha gi g f t is y t
n n
of t h disti ctiv m arks f a
O en ,
*
e on e e n e o

g tl m a A word or v a phras w hi h has be

en e n . e en e c en

us d a m o g t h m ost r fi d ir l s w ill so m ti m s by
e n e e ne c c e , , e e ,

a s u dd f r ak f f ashio f ro m b i g cari atu r d i a

en e o n, e n c e n

f ar or so g or f ro m so m oth r au s go tir ly o u t
ce n , e e c e, en e

o f us eN othi g b u t habit al i t r o urs w ith p o pl

. n u n e c e e e

o f r fi m t e d d u atio
ne end m i gli g i an g ral e c n, an n n n en e

s oci ty w ill t a h a g tl m a what words to

e , e c d en e n use an

What to avoid Y t th r som w ords whi h . w e e e ar e e c ar e n o

en tir ly ut f plac i a parlor

e o o e n .

Avoid a d lam atory styl ; so m m ec b f or p ak e e en , e e s e

i g w ill w av th ir ha ds as if co m m a di g sil
n , e e d n n n en c e, an ,

havi g s u d d i obtai i g t h att tio f t h m

n c ce e e n n n e en n O e co

pa y w ill sp ak i a to
n , d styl p r f
e ctly s u itabl n n e , an e, e e e

for t h th atr or l ct r roo m b u t tir ly o u t f pla

e e e e u e ,
en e o ce

i a parlor
n Su h m tir ly d f at th obj t f
. c en en e e e e ec o

s oci ty f th y r s t i t rr u ptio
e ,
or d as th ir ta lk
e e en n e n , an , e

flows i a co sta t str amn ls n sp ak w itho u t

n e ,
n o o ne e e c an e

i t rr u pti g t h po mpo u s idiot w h th u s d a ors to

n e n e o en e v

en gross t h tir att tio f th circl aro u d him

e en e en n o e e n .

This charact r w ill b m t with co sta tly e d g r e e n n ,

a n en e

ally joi s to th other disagr abl traits

n gotis m as
e ee e an e

tir so m as it is ill br d
e e -

e .

Th w itti st m e b co m s t dio u s d ill br d wh

e an e e e an -
e en

h e d avors to gross tir ly th att tio f t h

en e en en e e en n o e

compa y i which h sho uld tak a m or m od st part

n n e e e e .

Avoid t phras s d se q u ot tio b u t rare ly e , an us e a ns .

24 C E N T LE ME N S
’
BOOK OF E TIQUE TE T .

T h y som ti m mak v ry pi qua t additio t

e e es e a e n n o c on

v rsatio b u t wh th y b co m a co sta t ha bit th y

e n, en e e e n n , e

ar e exc di gly t dious d i bad tast

ee n e . an n e.

Avoid p da try ; it is a mark t f i i t llig b t

’
e n , n o o i e en c e , u

stupidity .

S p ak you e w
l a guag corr ctly ; at
r ot h sam
n tim n e e e e e

do t b too gr at a stickl r for for m al corr ct ss f

no e e e e ne o

phras s e .

N v r otic it if oth rs mak mistak i l a guag

e e n e e e es n n e .

T otic by w ord or look such rrors i thos arou d

o n e e n e n

yo u is xc ssiv ly ill br e d
, e e e -
.

Vulgar la guag d sla g though in commo e an n , n n , un

fortu at ly t comm o
n e u b co m g i
oo
y n us e, ar e n e in n an ,

one who pr t d to b a g tl m a M a y of the en s e en e n . n e

w ords h ard w i t h p arlor

e d drawi g roo m d riv
no n e an n -

,
e e

th ir or g n f ro m so u rc s which a g tl ma wo uld
e i i e en e n

h sitat to m tio b f or ladi s y t h will mak daily

e e en n e e e , e e e

use of t h off siv w ord or phras

e en e e .

If you a pro f ssio al or ar e t ifi m avoid t h e n S Oi en c an , e

use o f t ch ical t r m s e Th y ni b ad tast b caus e . e ar e n e, e e

ma y will t u d rstand th m If how v r you

n no n e e .
, e e , nu

co sciously
n such t rm r phras do t th com
use a e o e, no en

mit t h still gr at r rror of xplai i g its m a i g

e e e e e n n e n n .

No will tha k you for thus mplyi g th ir ig ora c

one n I n e n n e .

I co v rsi g with a for ig r who sp aks mp r f c t

n n e n e ne e i e e

E glish list with strict att tio y t do t s u pply

n ,
en en n, e no a

Word or ph as if h h sitat s Above all do t b y

,
r e, e e e .
,
no a

word or g stur how i m pati c if h m ak s paus s

e e S en e e e e or

b lund rs If you u d rsta d his la guag

e .
y so w h n e n n e, s a en

you firs t sp ak to him ; thi s t m aki g a display of

e Is n o n

your w k wl dg b t i ki d ss
o n no for ig
e e, u s a n ne ,
as a e n er
26 GE N LEME N S BOOK OF E IQUE TTE
T
’
T .

th ir writi gs or happy r f r c to th m you prov

e n
,
a e e en e e , e

that you hav r ad d appr iat d th m e e an ec e e .

It is xtr m ly rud d p da tic wh

‘
e e gag d i
e e an e n
, en e n e n

g ral co v rsatio to m ak q uotatio s i for ig

en e n e n, e n n a e n

l a guag
n e.

T phras s which adm it of doubl m a g

o us e e a e e ni n ,
i s

u g n tl m a ly d ,if addr ss d to a lady th y b com

en e n ,
a n e e , e e e

positiv ly sulti g e In n .

If yo u fi d you b co mi g a gry a co v rsatio

n ar e e n n In n e n,

e ith r tur to a oth r subj ct or k p il c You

e n n e e ee S en e .

m y utt r i t h h a t f pass o
a e , n words which you would
e e o i n,

ne vr i a cal m r m o m t
e us e d which you woul d b it
n e e n , an

t ly r p
er t wh t h y w r o c said
e en en e e e n e .

“N v r talk of rop s to a m
e e whos fath r was e an e e

ha g d is a Vulgar but popular prov rb Avoid car

n e
”
e . e

fully s ubj cts w hic h m y b co stru d i to p rso aliti s

e a e n e n e n e ,

an d k p a strict r s rv u po
ee fa m ily matt rs Avoid e e e n e .
,

if you s i g th sk l to i your f ri d s clos t ’

c an , ee n e e e n n en e ,

b t if it is parad d for your sp cial b

u fit r gard it as
e e en e , e

a sacr d O fid e d v r b tray yo u r k owl dg to

c n e n c e , an ne e e n e e

a third party .

If you hav trav l d altho u gh you will e d avor t e e ,

en e o

im prov your m i d i esuch trav l do t b co sta tlyn n e , no e n n

s p aki g f yo u r jour yi gs N othi g is m or tir

e n o ne n . n e e

s o m tha e m who comm c s v ry phras with

n a an en e e e e ,

en
“
Wh I was i P aris or I Italy I saw n
”
n
, ,

Wh ask i g q u stio s ab o u t p rso s w h

en n t e n e n o are no

k ow to you a draw g roo m avoid usi g adj ctiv s ;

n n ,
In in -

,
n e e

ou a
“
or y m y qu ir f a m oth r Who is that awkw ard
en e o e , ,

u gly girl ! d b “
s w r d Si that my d gh
”
an e an e e r, is un
,

t er .
 O NVER SA O N C TI .

A oid gossip i a w o m a it is d t stabl b u t i a m

v n n e e e n an

it i u tt rly d s picabl
s e e e.

D t ffi i
O no ly o ff r assista
o or advic i g ral
c o us e nce e n en e

s oci ty N obody will tha k yo u f it

e . n or .

Ridi ul d practical j ki g both marks f a

I
‘

c e an o n ar e o

vulgar m i d d low br di g n an ee n .

Avoid flatt ry A d licat co mpli m t is p r m issibl

e . e e en e e

i n co v rsatio b u t flatt ry is broad coars

n e n, d to e ,
e , an

s sibl p o pl disgu sti g If you flatt r yo u r s up riors

en e e e, n . e e ,

th y w ill distrust y o thi ki g yo u hav so m s l fish

e u
,
n n e e e

en d ; i f you flatt r ladi s th y will d spis yo u thi ki g e e , e e e ,

n n

yo u hav oth r co nv rsatio

'

e no e e n

A lady f s s will f l mor co mpli m t d if you

o en e ee e en e

co v rs with h upo i str u tiv h igh s ubj cts tha

n e e er n n c e, e , n

if yo u a d dr ss to h o ly t h la gu ag f co m pli m t
e er n e n e o en .

I t h latt r cas
n e h will co l u d that you co sid r
e e s e nc e n e

h er i capabl f disc u ssi g high r s ubj ts d you

n e o n e ec ,
an

ca ot p ct h to b pl as d at b i g co sid r d
nn ex e er e e e e n n e e

m r ly a silly vai p rso wh mu st b flatt r d i to

e e ,
n e n, o e e e n

good h um or .

Avo i d t h vil f givi g utt ra c to i flat d pr s

e e o n e n e n e ex e

s io s d r m arks i co mm o co v rsatio
n an e n n n e n .

It is a som what u grat f ul task to t ll thos who would

e n e e e

shri k fro m th im p utatio f a f als hood that th y

n e n o e e ar e

i
n th daily habit f utt ri g u truths ; d y t if I
e o e n n an e ,

proc d eeoth r cours tha this

,
n o b tak by m
e e n c an e en e.

It is of to adopt half m asur s ; plai p a k i g

n o us e e e n S e n

s av s a d al f tro ubl
e e o e.

Th xampl s about to b giv by m f agg rat d

e e e e en e o ex e e

ex
pr ssio s
e o ly a f w
n , ar ef t h ma y that n e o e n ar e con

t
s an tly i Wh th r you
n us e . acquit yours lv s f e e c an e e o
 28 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK OF E T QUE ’
I T TE .

t he charg of occasio ally us g th m I ca o t t ll

e n in e ,
nn e

b ut I dar t a ffirm f e m ys l f that I m altog th r

no or e a e e

guiltl ss e .

“I w caught i t h w t last ight th rai cam

as n e e n e n e
,

dow i torr ts M ost f us hav b out i h avy

n n en . o e e en n e

ra ni s ; but a torr t f wat r pouri g dow from t h en o e n n e

s ki s wo uld littl s urpr s us a f t r all

e a e i e ,
‘
e .

“I m w t t t h a ki d have t dry thr ad

o e S n , an e no a e

upo m n Wh r th s xpr ssio s

e.
”
o c s d cor
e e e e e e n ar e n e u e

r ec tly th y ,
us d tw ty ti m s i oppositio t th
e ar e e en e n n o e

truth .

“I tri d to ov rtak him b ut i vai for h

'

e ; e e ,
n n e r an

l ik light i g
e Th c l b rat d rac h ors E clips i
n n . e e e e e
‘

e e s

said to hav m il i a m i ut
e b ut poor E cl ps
r un a e n n e, i e is

l f t sadly b hi d b y this xpr ssio

e e n e e n.

“H k pt m sta di g out i t h cold

e e e lo g I n n n e so n ,

thought I sho uld hav wai t d f v r Th r t e e or e e . e e i s no

a particl of probability that such thought ould hav

e a c e

b e en fo r m om t t rtai d
on e en en e ne .

A I ca m across t h commo
s t h wi d was
e e n, e n as

k een a s a razor This is c rtai ly a v ry k r m ark

.
”
e n e e en e ,

b ut t h wors t f it is that its k

e ss far xc ds it
o e en n e e ee s

corr ct ss e ne .

“I w t to t h m ti g b t had hard work to

en , e
g t i ; ee n u e n

for th plac w crowd d to s uff ocatio

e
’

e asI this cas e n .

”
n e,

In j u stic to t h v racity of t h r lat r it is c ssary t

e e e e e e , ne e o

s ppos that succ ss f ul m a had b

u e us d f hi e e ns e en e or s

r cov ry
e e .

It m ust hav b a fi sight ; I would hav giv e een ne e en

th world to hav s it F o d as most f us ”

e e f een . n o ar e O

sight s g this would b b uyi g pl asur at d a

-
e ei n , e n e e a e r
 O NV R A O N 29 C E S TI .

pri i d d ; b t it is
ce n ee as y thi g to pro ff r to part
u an e n e

wi th that w hi h w do t p oss ss c e no e .

“It m ad m q u it l w s irit d m h art f lt as

e e e
p ; y o e e e

h avy as l ad W m ost f u s k o w w hat a h a y

e e .
”
e o n e v

h art ; b u t l ad is by m a s t h m os t corr ct m ta
e Is e no e n e e e

phor to i p aki g f a h avy h art

us e n S e n o e e .

“I co uld hardly fi d m w f t h ight was as n

y y a , or e n

dark as pit h I m a f raid w hav all i o ur t ur

c .
”
a e e n n

cal um iat d t h ky n this m a r ; pi t h i m a y

e e S in nn e c q s n

shad s d ark r tha th dark st ight w hav v r

e e n e e n e e e e

k own n.
“I hav tol d him of that fa ult fi f ty t i m s ov r
e F iv e e . e

ti m s would i all probab ility b much ar r th fact

e , n , e ne e e

tha fif ty
n .

“I v r clos d my e y all ight lo g If this be

ne e e es n n .

tru y act d u wis ly ; f had yo u clos d your y s

e, ou e n e or e e e ,

yo u might p rha ps hav f all asl p d j oy d t h

,
e , e en ee ,
a n en e e

bl ssi g f r f r shi g slumb r ; if it b

e n o e e t tr u you n e e no e,

a ct d m or u wis ly still by stati g that as a fact which

e e n e ,
n

is altog th r u tr u e e n e .

H is as tall as a church spir

e I hav m t with -
e . e e

om tall f llows i my tim thou gh th spir f

.

s e e n e, e e o a

ch ur h is so m w hat tall r tha t h tall st f th m

c e e n e e o e .

“You m bu y a fish at t h mark t as big as a jack e e

y a

ass f fi shilli gs I c rtai ly hav my do ubts

, or ve n . e n e

abou t this m a tt r ; but if it b r ally tru t h m ark te e e e, e e

p opl must b jackass s i d d to s ll uch larg fish

e e e e n ee e s e es

for so littl mo y e ne .

“H was so fat h could hardly com i at t h door

e e e n e .

M ost lik ly t h difficulty h r all u d d to was v r f lt

e e e e e ne e e

by y an b ut t h r lat r ; supposi g it to b oth r

one e e e n e e
30 G EN LEMEN S BOOK
T
‘

OE E TIQUE T TE .

wis th m n mus t hav b V ry b road or th doo

e, e a e e en e e r

V ry arro w
e n .

—
You do t say so l why it was ough to kill him !
n
’

, en

Th f act that it did

e t kill hi m is a su ffici t r ply t no en e o

this u f ou d d o b s rvatio ; but r m ark

n n e b t e n no e c an e oo

ab s urd f n u bridl d to gu
or a n e n e.

Th u s m ight I f hour d aft r all l av r un on or an ,

a n e e e

much u said th subj ct of xagg rat d xpr ssio s

n on e e e e e e e n .

W h ari g co ti ually t h co m pariso s

e ar e e n
“ b lack n n e n , as

s oot Whit as s ow hot as fi cold as

,
e sharp as
n ,
r e, Ic e , a

n ee dl dull a door ail ligh t as f ath r h avy

e, as n ,
a e e , e as

l ad tiff as a pok r d crook d as crab tr

e , s i e ,
a n e a -
ee, n

cas s Wh r such xpr ss o s qu t out of ord r

e e e e e i n ar e i e e .

Th pract c of xpr ssi g ours lv s

e i t his i flat d
e e e n e e in n e

an d thoughtl s way i mor m schi vou tha w e s , s e i e s n e ar e

a war f It c rtai ly l ad
e o . t acrific truth ; t
e n e s us o s e o

m sr pr s t what w m a faithfully t d scrib ; t

i e e en e e n o e e o

whit our w charact rs d om tim s t b la ck

en o n e ,
an s e e o en

t h r putatio of
e e gh b or Th r n upright s s a n ei . e e i s an ne

In p ch w ll as i actio that w ught to striv

S ee as e n n, e o e

hard to attai Th purity of truth is sulli d d t h

n. e e ,
an e

s ta d rd of i t grity is lo w r d b y i corr ct obs rva

n a n e e e ,
n e e

t io s n L t us r fl ct upo this matt r fr ly

. e d faith
e e n e ee an

fully Let us l ov truth follo w truth d practic truth

.
'

e , ,
an e

i our thoughts our W

n ords d d d , ,
a n our ee s.
 OL N P I TE ESS .

RE AL pol t e s t h out w ard xpr ssio of th mos t

i en s is e e e n e

g rous i mp uls s f t h h art It f orc s

en e e o lfi h e e . en e un s e s

ne ss b vol c ki d ss d t h gold r ul Do
en e en e,
“
n ne a n e en e,
, ,

u to oth rs as you would oth rs ho uld do u to yo u

n e e S n .
”

Th u s its first p pl is lov f t h

r i n CI ighbor lovi g
e e or e ne
,
n

him as yours l f e .

Wh i soci ty it would oft b xc di gly difficul t

en n e en e e ee n

to d cid how to tr at thos who

e e p rso ally disa
e e ar e e n

gr eea b l to us ifeit w r t for t

,
h rul s f polit ss
e e no e e o en e ,

an d t h lit tl f ormaliti s
e d poi ts f tiqu tt which
e e an n o e e e

th s r ul s f orc Th s vid c s of polit br di g

e e e en e . e e e en e e ee n

do t prov hypocrisy as you m y tr at your m ost bit

no e ,
a e

ter en e my with p r f ct court sy d y t mak

e pro
e e ,
a n e e no

t statio s of f ri dship
e n en .

If polit ss is b t a m ask as ma y philosoph rs t ll

ene u ,
n e e

us, it is a m ask which will wi lov d ad mirat io d n e an n , an

IS b tt r wor tha cast asid If you w ar it with th

e e n n e . e e

i c r d s r to giv pl as ur to oth rs d m ak all

s n e e e i e e e e e ,
a n e

t h littl m ti gs f li f pass fl s m o thly d g '

e -

e ee n o e o o an a reea

bly it will soo c as to b a mask b u t you will fi d

, n e e e ,
n

that t h m a r which you at first put to giv pl a

e nne on e e

r has b com atural to you d wh r v r you hav

s u e, e e n ,
an e e e e
32 GEN LEMEN S BOOKT
’
or E QUE T E
TI T .

a ssum d a V rtu to pl as oth rs you will fi d t h Vi

e i e e e e ,
n e r

t
ue b co m i g habit u al d fi ally at u ral
e n d part of an n n
,
a n

yo u rs l f e .

Do t look upo th r ul s f tiq u tt as d c ptio s

no n e e o e e e e e n .

Th y e just as o f t v hicl s f th pr ssio f

ar e en e e or e ex e n o

i c r f li g as th y
s n e e ee t h mask to co c al a wa t
n , e ar e e n e n

of it .

You will i soci ty m t with m wh rail agai st

n e ee en o n

polit ss d call it d c it d h ypocrisy Wat h

en e ,
a n e e an . c

th s m wh th y hav
e e en obj ct to gai or
en d
e e an e n, ar e e

i
s r ou s o f maki g a f avorabl i mpr ssio n d th m e e n , an s ee e

t acitly but u co scio u sly ad m it t h pow r f co u rt sy

,
n n ,
e e o e ,

b y droppi g f t h ti m th ir u couth ways to a ff c t

n or e e, e n , e

t h p li t
e o t h y Of t tim es do t f l
en e s s , e en no ee .

P ass ov r t h d f cts f oth rs b prud t discr t

,

e e e e o e , e en , ee ,

at th prop r ti m r s rv d y t at oth r tim s fra k

e e e e e e , e e e n ,

a nd tr at oth rs with t h
e sa m g tl court sy y
e e e en e e ou

would wish xte d d to yours lf e n e e .

Tru polit ss v r mbarrass s y

e ene b cau ne e e e an on e , e se

its first obj ct is to p t all at th ir a whil it l av

e u e c se, e e es

to all p r f ct fr dom f actio You must m t rud

e e ee o n . ee e

ne ss fro m oth rs b y p r f ct polit ss d polish f

e e e en e an O

ma r nn e your w part d you Will thus sham

on o n ,
an e

t hos who hav b u civil to you You will mor

e e e en n . e

re adily mak th m blush by your court sy tha if y

e e e , n ou

m t th ir rud
e ess b y ill m a rs your w part
en e nn e on o n .

Whil f avor may b doubl d i valu by a f ra kly

e a
'

e e n e, n

court ous m a r of gra ti g it a r f sal will los hal f

e nne n n ,
e u e

its b itt r ss if your m a r hows polit r gr t at you

e ne nn e S e e e r

i ab ility to ob lig him who asks t h fa or at your ha d

n e e v n .

P olit s may b xt d d to th l ow s t d m a
en e s e e en e e e an e n
3 4: G EN TLE MEN S BOOK ’
or E IQUE TTE
T .

who will p rfor m to t h mi ut st poi t th ic ti f

e e n e n e n e es o

good br di g w h ee v r co m m it th l as t act th at i
n , o ne e e e s

f orbidd b y t h stri t st r u l s of tiqu tt ; y t u d r

en e c e e e e e e n e

all this m ask f chivalry galla try d polit ss wil l

o ,
n ,
a n en e

carry a cold s lfish h art ; wi ll with a s w t s mil

,
e e , ee e,

grac f ul b w d l ga t la g u ag wo u d d ply t h
e o ,
a n e e n n e, n ee e

f li gs of o th rs d w hil passi g i so i ty f m d
ee n e ,
a n e n n c e or o

l
e s o f co u rt sy d l ga c of m a
e anr b i f li g e e n e nn e ,
e n ee n as

cr u l d barbarous as t h v ri st sav g
e an e e e a e;

S I w o u ld say to you Cultivat yo u r h art

o Ch rish , e e . e

th r e e th Christia g ac s lov f t h ighbor

e n r e , e or e ne ,
u n

se lfi h s charity d g tl ss d yo u will b truly

ness,
,
an en en e ,
a n e

a g tl ma ; add to t h s t h grac f ul f or m s f ti
en e n e e e e o e

q uet t d yo u
e, an th b co m a p f t g tl m a
en e e er e c en e n.

E ti qu tt ists i v ry or r f t h k o w w orld
e e ex n e e c ne o e n n
,

fro m t h savag s i t h wilds of Af ri a Wh d ar t

e e n e c , o e no ,

upo p alty f d ath approach th ir b arbarous r ul rs

n en o e ,
e e

witho u t rtai for m s d c r m o i s to t h m ost r fi d

ce n an e e n e , e e ne

cir l s f E urop wh r g tl hivalry d a c ulti at d

c e o e, e e en e c an v e

mi d s u gg st its r ul s It has ist d i ll g s d

n e e . ex e n a a e , an

th stri g cy f i t laws i som cou tri s h

e n en o sgiv n e n e as en

r is to bo t h l u dicrous d tr gic i cid ts

e an a n en

I ou tri s w h r roy alty r ul s th t iq u tt it f t

n c n e e e e e e e e, O en

happ s that prid w ill bli d thos who m ak t h r ul s

en e n e e e e ,

an d t h r s u lts
e o f t fatal B l V g th t t h sam
e are en . e ie in a e e

d f r c w hich th r r k a u thori z d th m to d m a d
e e en e ei an e e e n ,

was also d to th m as divi duals t h r s ult f s u ch

ue e in , e e o

an id was ea tiqu tt as vai an e d s l ss as it was e e n an u e e

a bs urd .

F or mpl I w ill giv

an e xa a cdot e
~
e an ne e

T h ki gs
e of S pai nt h proud st d vai st of ll n, e e an ne a
 P OL IT E N ES S . 35

ki gs f th arth m ad a r ul f tiq u tt as stupid

n o e e ,
e e o e e e as

it w u s l ss It w a f a ult pu ishabl by d ath to

as e e . as n e e

to u h t h f oot f t h q u
c e d t h i d ivid u al w h th u s
o e e en , an e n o

o ff d den m att r u d r what circ u msta c s w

e ,
n o e n e n e , as e xe

ou et d i mm diat ely e .

A yo u g q u f S p ai n wif f Charl s t h S co d
e en o n, e o e e e n
,

w asrid i g hors ba k i t h m idst f h att da ts

n on e c n e o er en n .

S u dd ly t h hors r ar d
en d thr w t h q
e u f ro m t h
e e e an e e e en e

saddl H f oot r m ai d i t h stirr up d h w

e . er e ne n e ,
an s e as

dragg d alo g t h gro u d A m m s cro w d stood

e n e n . n i en e

look i g at this p tacl b u t

n dar d f his lif
S ec e, n o on e e ,
or e,

to att empt to r s u t h poor w o m a S h wo uld hav e c e e n . e e

di d had t t w yo u g F r h ffic rs ig ora t f t h

e ,
no o n en c O e ,
n n o e

stupid law whi h paral y z d t h S pa iards pr u g f ~

c e e n ,
S n or

w ard d sav d h an O stop p d t h horse d w hilst

er . ne e e e , an

h h l d t h bridl his co m p a io
e e e dis gag d f ro m its e, n n en e

pai f ul p ositio t h f oot f th yo u g q u

n n who w e o e n e en , as ,

b y this ti m i s sibl f ro m f ar e, d t h br is s which

n en e e an e u e

sh had alr ady r

e iv d Th y w r i sta tly arr st d
e ece e . e e e n n e e ,

an d w hil t h q u w carri d a litt r to t h palac

e e e en as e on e e e,

h eryo u g ham pio s w r m ar h d d a o m pa i d by

n c n e e c e C
!

,
cc n e

a stro g g u ard to priso Th

n t d y si k d f
,
n. e nex a
, c an ee

b l th q u
e, w oblig d to l av h b d d h
e een as e e e er e ,
a n on er

k s b f or t h ki g pl ad f t h pardo f t h t w
nee e e e n ,
e or e n o e o

F r h m ; d h pray r was o ly gra t d p o

en c en an er e n n e u n c on

ditio that t h auda io u s f or ig rs l f t S pai i mm di

n e c e ne e n e

a t ly
I

e .

Th r is ou try i th world wh r th abs urditi s

e e no c n n e e e e e

o f tiq u tt
e c rri d to so gr at a l gth i S pai
e e ar e a e e en as n n,

b caus th r
e atio wh r t h o b ility
e e e Is no n n e e e n ar e so
86 G EN TLEMEN S B OOK OF E IQUE TTE ’
T .

proud Th follo wi g a cdot which illustrat s thi s

. e n ne e, e ,

would s m i cr dibl w r it t a historical f act

ee n e e e e no

P hilip t h Third ki g f S p ai was si k

e d b i g ,
n o n, c ,
a n e n

abl to sit up was car f ully pla d i

e , m chair Which e ce n an a r

stood Opposit to a larg fi wh t h wood was pil d

e e re, en e e

u
p to or m ous h ight
an en T h h at soo b ca m i e . e e n e e n

tol ra bl
e d t h co rt i rs r tir d fro m arou d t h ki g ;
e , an e u
‘

e e e n e n

bu t as t h Duk D U d th fi stirr r for t h ki g

,
e e
’
sse e, e re e e n ,

was t pr s t d as
no ls had t h right to
e en , an n o on e e e e

t ouch t h fi thos pr s t d r d t att mpt t dim i i h

i

e re, e e en a e no e o n s

t h h at
e Th gra d ha m b rlai was also a b s t
e . e d n C e n en , an

h alo was a u thoriz d to to u ch t h ki g s foots tool ’

e ne e e n .

Th poor ki g too ill to r s

e Va
n mp l or d tho s
,
i e , In in I e e

a ro u d him to m v his chair

n dar d to u ch it d
o e ,
n o o n e e ,
a n

wh t h gra d ha m b rla
en e arr v d th ki g had f ai t d
n C e in i e , e n n e

with t h h at d a f w days lat r h di d li t rally

e e ,
a n e e e e , e

roast d to d athe e .
”

At al m ost all tim s d i al m ost al l plac s good e , an n e ,

’

b r di g m y b sho w ;
ee n d w thi k a good s rvic
a e n an e n e e

will b do by poi ti g o u t a f w plai

e ne d si m pl i n n e n an e n

sta c s i which it sta d oppos ed to habits d m a rs

n e n n s an nne ,

w hi h tho u gh i m prop r
c , d dis gr a bl t v ry e an a ee e , ar e no e

un c o mm o n.

I t h f a mili ar i t rcours of soci t y a w ll b r d m

n e n e e e , e -
e an

will b k no w by t h d licacy d d f r c with whi h

e n e e an e e en e c

h b hav
e towards f m al s That m would d s rv dly
e es e e . an e e e

b look d upo as v ry d fi i t i pro p r r s p t

e e n d e e c en n e e ec an

f li g who hould tak y physical adva tag f

ee n ,
S e an n e o one

o f t h w ak r e or ff r y p rso al slight to w ards

e e s e x, O e an e n

h er Wo m a looks d prop rly looks f prot ctio

. n ,
an e ,
or e n

t mo It is th p
an . m of th husb a d to hi ld th
e r ov ce e n s e e
 P OL IT E N E SS . 37

i
w fe f ro m i j ury ; f t h f ath r to prot t t hedau ght r ;
n o e e ec e .

th broth r has t h sam d u ty to p r f or m to w ards t h

e e e e e e

S ist r ; e d i g an ral v ry m sho uld i this s s

,
n en e ,
e e an
,
n en e,

h the ham pio

e c d th lov r f v ry wo m a Not
n an e e o e e n.

o ly sho uld h b r ady t prot t b ut d siro u s to pl as

n e e e o ec , e e e,

an d willi g to sacrific m u h f his w p rso al as

n e c o o n e n e e

an d co m f ort if b y doi g so h ,
i r as thos f
, .
n ,
e c an nc e e e o

an
y f m al i
e whos co
e m pa y h
n m y fi d hi m s l f
e Pu t n e a n e .

ti g th s pri i pl s i to pra ti a w ll br d m i
n e e nc e n c ce, e -
e an , n

his w ho u s will b k i d d r sp ctf ul i his b

o n e, e n an e e n e

havio ur to v ry f m al f t h f a mily H wil l t

e e e e o e . e no use

to w ards th m harsh la gu ag v if call d upo to ~

e n e, e en e n ex

pr ss dissatis f a tio with th ir o du t I o v rsatio

e c n e c n c . n c n e n,

h w ill abstai
e f ro m ry all usio w hich wo uld p u t
n ev e n

m od st y to t h bl u sh H will as m u h as i his po w r
e e . e , c n e ,

ligh t th ir labors by ch r f ul d vol u tary assista c

en e ee an n n e.

H w ill yi l d to th m v ry littl adva tag which m y

e e e e e e n e a

o u r i t h r gular ro u ti f do m stic lif

cc n e e — t h mos t ne o e e e

c o m f ortabl s at if th r b a diff r c ; th war m st

e e , e e e e en e e e

positio by t h Wi t r s fir sid t h ic s t slic f rom th

n e n e
’
e e e n e e e

f a m ily joi t d so n , an on .

I a p ublic ass mbly of y ki d a w ll br d m

n e an n , e -
e an

will p y r gard to t h f li gs d wish s f t h f m al s

a e e ee n an e o e e e

by who m h is surrou d d H will t s cur t h b st

e n e . e no e e e e

s at f him s lf d l av t h wo m f olk to tak car

e or e ,
a n e e e en e e

o f th m s lv s e H will
e t b s at d at all i f t h m t
e . e no e e e , e ee

i g b crowd d
n e d a i gl f m al e app ar
e ,
a n m s n e e e un a c c o o

dat d e .

G ood br di g will k p a p rso f rom maki g loud

ee n ee e n n

an d startli g ois s f ro m pushi g p ast a oth r i

n n e , t ri g n n e n en e n

or goi g out of a room ; from ost tatiously mg a po k

n en us c
 C EN TLE ME N S
’
BOOK ~
or E IQ U E E
T TT .

ha dk rchi f fro m hawki g d pitti g i co mp y ;

et -
n e e n an S n n an

fro m fidg ti g y part f t h body ; f ro m s rat hi g

e n an o e c c n

t h h ad or pi ki g t h
e e t th wi th f ork or with fi g r
, c n e ee n e .

I short it will dir t all w h st u dy its r u l s to abstai

n ,
ec o e n

f ro m v ry p rs o l e t whi h m y giv
e pai or o ff
e na ac c a e n en ce

to a oth r s f li gs At th sa m ti m it will abl

n e
’
ee n . e e e, en e

th m to b ar m u ch With out taki g o ff c It will t h

e e n en e. eac

th m wh to s p ak d wh to b il t d h w to
e en e an en e S en , an o

b hav w ith d r sp ct to all B y att tio to t h

e e ue e e . en n e

rul s of good b r di g ; d m or sp ially to its l adi g

e ee n an e e ec e n

n
“
pri ci pl s th poor st m will b titl d to t h har
e , e e an e en e e c

act r f a g tl m a
e o d by i att tio en to th m t h e n , an n en n e , e

m ost w althy p rso will b ss tially v ulgar Vul

e e n e e en .

garity sig ifi s coars ss or i d licacy f m a r d

n e en e n e o nne
,
a n

i s no t c ssarily associat d with pov rty or lo wli ss f

ne e e e ne o

co dit o Thus op rati

n i n . ti m y b a g tl an e ve a r z an a e en e

m an , a nd worthy f our partic u lar st m ; whil o e ee e an

Opul t m r ha t may b o ly a Vulgar lo w w ith

en e c n e n c n,

w ho m it is i m possi b l to b t r m s f f ri dly i t r e e on e o en n e

co urs e .
”

Th f ll wm g r m arks upo th
e o o Charact r of a G e n e e en

tl ma b y B rook so ad m irabl that I d mak

”
e n e ar e e nee e

no apology f q u oti g th m tir H says ; Th r or

“ n e en e . e e e

Is n o t r m i o u r la g u ag m or comm o tha that of

e ,
n n e, e n n

‘
G tl m a ;en d wh e v r it is h ard all agr i
n
’
an ,
en e e e , ee n

th g e ral id a f a m som way l vat d abov t h

en e e o an e e e e e e

v ulgar Y t p rha ps . two livi g

e pr is ly gr d
, e ,
n o n are ec e a ee

re sp cti g t h q u aliti s th y thi k r q u isit f co sti

e n e e e n e e or n

t uti g thi chara t r

n Wh w h ar t h pi th ts f
s c e . en e e e e e o a

‘
fi G tl m a
ne a pr tty G tl m a
en e much f n,
’ ‘
e en e n
,
’ ‘
o a

G tl ma
en G tl m lik
e n, om thi g of G tl
’ ‘
en e an e,
’ ‘
s e n a en e
 P OL ITE N E SS . 39

man ,
’

g a nG othi
tl m a n d so f orthof ; all t h s en e n,
’
an e e

d iff r t pp l t i mu st i t d a p ul i r ity a
e en a e a on s d n en ec a n n e xe

to t h id as f thos w h pr ss th m ; tho ugh t w

e e o e o ex e e no o

o f th m as I said m y gr
e ,
i th o s titu t qu aliti s
,
a a ee n e c n en e

o f t h chara t r th y hav f or m d i
e c e th ir w m d e e e n e o n in .

Th r ha e b ladi s w h d m d f as hio abl dr ss a

e ve e en e o ee e n e e

v ry apital i gr di t i t h co m p ositio f G tl
e c n —
e en n e n O a en e

m A
an . rtai a y i mpu d ce a q uir d by l w p
n e s en c e c e o eo

p l by
e, cas u lly b i g o v rsa a t i high li f has
e np ass d c n e n n e, e

am u rr t thro ugh m a y o m pa i s f
an c en — G tl n c n e or a en e

m an I tav r s
. d broth ls h who is t h m ost f a
n e n an e ,
e e o

b ull y is t h m ost f — G tl m a
e A d th high w ay
o a en e n. n e

m i his m a
an , r f taki g you r p urs m y ho w v r
n nne o n e, a e e

b allo w d to hav
e — m u h f t h G tl m a
e P lato
e c o e en e n. ,

a m o g t h philoso ph s w t h m o t f a m f
n e er ,
as
‘
e s o an o

f as hio allo w d at t h co ur t f Syra u s

‘

d th n f an er e o r e e ,
e O c e,

—
to b t h m o t f a G tl m a B t s rio u sly I p
e e s o en e n. u e ,
a

pr h d that this chara t r is pr tty m u ch u po t h

e en c e e n e

mod r I all a i t or d ad la g u ag s w h av
e n. n nc en e n e e e no

t r m y w y ad q u at wh r by w m y pr ss it
e ,
a n a e e, e e e a ex e .

I t h habits m a
n e rs d chara t rs f old S parta
,
nne , an c e O

an d old Ro m w fi d ti pathy to all t h l m ts

e, e n an an e e e en

o f m od r g tility e n Am o g th s r u d
en d u polish d
. n e e e an n e

p opl y r ad f philosoph rs f orators f patriots

e e, ou e o e ,
o ,
o ,

h ro s d d m go d s ; b u t yo u v r h a f y char
e e , an e i ne e e r o an

c e —
a t r so l ga t as th t f pr tty G tl m a
e e n a o a e en e n.

“ Wh thos atio s ho w
en b m r fi d i to
e n n e ve r , e ca e e ne n
,

w ha t th ir stors w o uld ha call d orru p tio ; w h

e an c e ve e c n en

l u ury i trodu d d f ashio gav a sa tio to

x n ce ,
a n n e nc n c er

tai s i c s whi h Cy ics wo uld hav bra d d with t h

n c en e , c n e n e e

ill ma r d app llatio s f dru k ss gambli g

nn e e e n o n enne ,
n ,
 40 GEN TLEMEN S BOOK ’

OE E T QUE TTE
I

ch ati g lyi g A t h practitio rs assum d th w

e n , n ,
te . e ne e e ne

t itl of G
e tl m till s u h G tl m b cam as pl
en e en, c en e en e e en

t e ou s as stars i t h m ilky way d lost dis ti ctio n e -

,
a n n n

m r ly b y th co flu c of th ir lustr Wh r f or as
e e e n en e e e. e e e

th aid qualiti s w r f ou d to b of r ady acq u s tio

e s e e e n e e i i n,

an d of asy d sc t to t h populac from th ir b tt rs

e e en e e e e e ,

amb itio ju dg d it c ssary to add furth r marks d

n e ne e e an

crit r o s for s v r g th g ral h rd from t h o b l

e i n e e in e ene e e n er

S p ci s
e — f G tl m
e o en e en .

“A ccordi gly if t h co mmo al ty w r O b s rv d t

n e n e e e e o
,

h v a e aprop sity to r ligio th ir sup riors aff ct d

en e n, e e e e a

d isdai of
such
n vulgar pr[
j dic s ; d fr dom t ha t e u e an a ee

c as t ff th r strai ts of morality d a courag that

O e e n ,
a n e

S pur d at t h f ar of G od w r accou t d th disti

ne e e a , e e n e e n

g i
u sh i g charactn ristics — f a G tl m a e o en e n.

“If t h populac as i Chi a w r i nd u str ous

e e,d n n e e i an
,

In g ous t h gra d s by th l gth of th r ails d

en i , e n ee , e en ei n an

th cramp g f th ir li m bs gav
e in oid c that tru dig
e ,
e ev en e e

n it y was a b ov l b O d utility ed that to b b or t

a r an ,
a n e n o

n o en d was t h pr rogativ — f a G tl m a
e e e o en e n.

“If t h commo sort b y th ir co duct d clar d

e n e n e e a
, ,

re sp ct for t h stitut o s f civil soci ty d good gov

e e In i n o e an

e rn m t ; th ir b tt rs d spis d s u ch p u silla i m ous

en e e e e e n c on

f or m ity d t h mag istrat s paid b co m i g r gard t

,
an e e e n e o

t h disti ctio
e d allow d of t h sup r or lib rti s
n n , an d e e e i e e an

—
privil g s f G tl m a
e e o a en e n.

“If t h low r t how a s

e of co mm o ho sty
e se S en s e n ne

an d co mmo ord r ; thos who w ould fig u r i t h world

n e e e n e
,

t hi k i t i cum b
n t to d m o strat that co m pla sa c t
n en e n e i n e o

i f ri r s commo ma rs commo quity

n e o ,
n
y t hi g nne ,
n e , o r a n n
42 C E N TEE ME N S
’
BOOK or E TIQUE E TT .

of i roma c ; as was i sta c d fro m th t or of th ir

n n e n n e e en e

pri ipl s d actio

nc e an ns .

“S o m ti m a f t r th b attl e f Cr ss y E d w ard t h
e e e e o e e
,

Third f E g l a d od E d w ard t h B la k P ri c t h
n n ,
a n e c n e, e

mor tha h ir f his f ath r s r o w pr ss d Joh Ki g

e n e o e
’
en n, e e n n

o f F ra to d ulg th m with t h p l as ur Of his m

nce In e e e e e co

pa y at L o do Joh was d siro u s f m braci g t h

n n n. n e o e n e

i vitatio
n d accordi gly laid t h proposal b f or his
n , an n e e e

parlia m t at P aris Th parlia m t obj t d that th

en . e en ec e ,
e

i vitatio had b
n m ad with
n i sidio u s d s g f
een e an n e i n o

se izi g his p rso th r by to m ak t h h p r d

n e n, e e e e c ea e an

e asi acq uisitio f t h cro w to which E d ward t tha t

er n o e n, a

t im pr t d d But Joh r pli d w ith som war m th

e e en e . n e e ,
e ,

that h was co fid t his b roth E d w ard d m or

e n en er ,
a n e

e sp ci lly his yo u g co u si w r too m h f t h

e a n n
,
e e uc o e G EN

T ER M AN to tr at him i that m a r H did t y

,
e n nne . e no sa

too m ch of t h ki g f t h h ro
u f t h sai t b u t
e n , o e e , or o e n ,

too much of th G E N LEM AN to b guilty f y bas e T e o an e

ne ss .

Th s qu l v rifi d this Opi io

e e At t h battl of
e e e n n . e e

P i ti
o c K i g Joh was m ad priso r d soo a f t r
er s n n e ne ,
a n n e

co d u ct d by t h B lack P ri c to E gla d Th pri c

n e e n e n n . e n e

t r d L o do i triu mph am id t h thro g d l

en e e n n n ,
e n an a cc a

m at io s f m illio s f t h p opl But th this r th r

‘

n o n o e e e . en a e

a pp ar d to b t h tri u mph of t h F r h ki g tha

e e e e e en c n n

that of his co q u ror Joh was s at d n a proud e . n e e on

t d royally rob d d att d d by a um rous d

s ee ,
e ,
a n en e n e an

gorg ous trai f th B ritish obility ; whil his

e n o e n e c on

q e d
u r or e n avor d as m u h asepossibl to disa
e
p p ar,
c e, e ,

an d rod b y his sid i plai e ttir d d gradi gly e n -

n a e, an e n

s at d
e l ittl Irish ho bb y
e on a e .
 POL E NE S 43 IT S .

“A Aristotl s d t h Criti s d r i v d t h ir r ul s f
e an e c e e e e or

e i
p p oc y d t h
etr s u bli m an f o m p o m w h i
e h H o m r e r a .
e c e

had w ri t l o g b f or t h r ul s w r f or m d or law s
t en n e e e e e e e ,

e st blish d f t h pur pos th u s f ro m t h d m a o

a e or e e : ,
e e e n r

an d i at pri ipl s f p arti ular g tl m art has

nn e nc e o c en e en ,

b orro w d d i sti tu t d t h m a y m od s f b ha io u r
e an n e e n e o e v
,

w hi h t h c w orld has adopt d u d r t h

e titl f good e ,
n e e e o

ma rs nne .

O qu ality
ne f a g tl em a is that o f h arity to t h en n o c e

poor ; d this is d licat ly i sta d i t h a o u t

an e e n n ce n e cc n

whi h D c Qu i ot gi s to his f st f ri d S a ho P
on x e ve ,
a en nc an

c h f t h valoro u s b u t y t m or pio u s k ight rra t

a, o e e e n -
e n

S ai t M arti
n O a d y said t h D
n . S ai t M arti
n a , e on , n n

m t a poor m
e h l f k d d t ki g his loak f rom
an a na e ,
a n a n c

his sho uld rs h divid d d gav hi m t h

e ,
e hal f e ,
a n e e on e .

N w t ll m at What ti m
o ,
e e f t h y ar this h pp d e o e e a en e .

Was I a w it ss q u oth S a ho ; h w t h v g a
! ne ,
nc o e en e nce

s ho uld I k o w i w h at y r or w hat tim f t h y ar it

n n ea e o e e

ha pp d ! H ds t tho u S a ho r joi d t h k ight

ene a nc ,
e ne e n ,

a y t hi g withi th f t h s tim t f S ai t M arti

n n n ee o e en en o n n
,

t ho u m u st ass u r dly hav k o w that this ha pp d i

e e n n en e n

wi t r ; f
n e had it b or , s umm r S ai t M arti would een e , n n

had giv t h w hol cloak en e e .

A oth r chara t ristic f th tr u g tl m a

n e c e is a o e e en e n,

d li a y f b havio ur to w ard that

e c c o e w ho m atur has s ex n e

en ti tl d to th prot tio
e d co s q u tly
e ti l d to
ec n
,
a n n e en en t e

th t e d r ss f m
en e ne
,
o an .

“Th s m g e l m a rra t t r g i to a w ood

a e ent e n e -
n , en e i n n

on a s u mm r s v i g f o u d him s lf ta gl d a m o g
e
’
e en n ,
n e en n e n

ne ts f gr thr ad th at h r
o e en d th r e h u g f rom ,
e e an e e, n

tr ee to tr ; d co c ivi g it som matt r of purpos d

ee an n e n e e e
44 C E N TL E ME N S
’
BO OK OF E TIQUE TE T .

co juratio pu sh d valorously for w ard to b r ak thro gh

n n, e e u

th ha t m t H r u po so m b autif ul h ph rd
e en c n en . e e n e e s e e

e ss s i t r pos d w i th a cry d b so u ght him to spar

e n e e ,
a n e e

t h i m pl m
e ts f th ir oc t r cr atio Th k ight
e en o e In n en e e n. e n ,

s u rpris d d char m d by t h V s o ; r pli d

e an
“
— F air e e i i n e e ,

cr at u r s I my p m
e e to prot ct t to i j ur trov ce Is e ,
n o n e o

s k all m a s f s rvic but v r f o ff c m or

ee e n o e e, ne e o en e, e es

p l l
e C Ia
y to y of your x d
an appa t xc ll c s se an ren e e en e .

Yo u r p r tty ts tak up but a s m all pi c of f avor d

e ne e e e e

grou d ; b ut did th y i clos t h world I wo u ld s k

n ,
e n e e ,
ee

out w worlds wh r by I m ight wi a passag rath

ne
, e e n e, er

tha br ak th m
n e e .

“Tw v ry lov ly b ut sha m f ac d g i rls had

o e ca s
e e e a u e,

of so m co s q u c d p di g at W st mi st r that
e n e en e, e en n e n e ,

i disp sably r qu r d th ir p rso al ap p ara c Th y

n en e i e e e n e n e. e

w r r latio s f Si Jos ph J k l d
e e e n o this t r e ec e , an , on re

m do s occasio r q u st d his co m pa y d
en n n, t e e e n an c oun e

n anc at t h co u rt S i Jos ph att d d accordi gly ;

e e . r e en e n

an d t h caus b i g op
e d t h j u dg d m a d d wh th
e e n en e ,
e e e n e e er

h was to
e titl thos ladi s by t h d o m atio of
en e e e e en in n

S pi st rs N o my L ord said Si Jos ph ; th y lili

n e .
‘
, ,
’
r e
‘
e ar e es

o f t h vall y th y toil
e t eith r d th y spi y t
,
e no , ne e o e n, e

you that m o arch i all hi glory was v r ar

see no n ,
n s ,
e e

r ay d lik e of th s e on e e e.
’

“A oth r v ry p c u liar charact ristic of a g tl ma

n e e e e en e n
“

is th gi i g pla
,
e d yi ldi g to all with who m h h
v n c e an e n e as

to do O f this w hav a shi i g d aff cti g i st a c

. e e n n an e n n n e

i Abraha m p rhaps t h m ost

n ,
o m plish d charact
e e acc e er

that m y b fo u d i history wh th r sacr d or pro f a

a e n n ,
e e e n e.

A Co t tio had aris

n en b tw t h h rd sm
n of A b ra en e een e e en

h m a d t h h rdsm
an of his ph w L ot sp cti g
e e en .
ne e , , r e e n
 POL E N E SS 45 IT .

t h pro pri ty f t h p ast u r

e f t h l a ds w h r i th y
e o e e o e n e e n e

d w ll d that o uld w s ar o tai t h ab u da

e e ,
c f no c ce c n n e n n ce o

th ir attl A d thos s r a ts as is u iv rsally t h

e c e . n e
’

e v n ,
n e e

c as had r sp tiv ly d avor d to k i dl d i fla m

e, e ec e en e e n e an n e

th ir m ast rs with th ir w p assio s Wh Abraham

e e e o n n . en ,

i
n o s q u c f this p rc iv d that t h o u t a
c n e en e o , e e e e c n en nce

o f L ot b ga to cha g to w ard him h call d

e n d g n e ,
e e ,
an en

ly
e r ou s post ulat d with him as f ollo w th L t th r
ex e e :
‘
e e e

b e strif I pr y th b t w m
no e, d th or b a ee, e een e an ee, e

tw my h rds m
e en d thy h rds m e ; f w b en an e en or e e

b r thr e If it b thy d sir to s parat thys l f f ro m

en . e e e e e e

m ise, t t h w hol no la d b f or th ! If tho u wilt

e e n e e ee

ta k t h l f t ha d th w ill I go to t h right ; or if
e e e n ,
en e

tho u d part to t h right ha d th I w ill go to th l f t

e e n ,
en e e .
’

“A oth r ca ital q u al ity f t h tr u g tl m a is

e o e e en
pn e n ,

t hat f f li g hi m s l f co
o eer d d i t r st d i
n e n ce ne an n e e e n

oth rs N r was th r so b vol t a ff cti g so

e . e ve e e en e e n , SO e n ,

path tic a pi c f oratory hibit d p o arth as tha t

e e e o ex e u n e ,

f Abraha m s pl adi g w ith G od f av rti g t h j u dg

’
o e n or e n e

m ts that th im p d d ov r S odo m Bu t t h m att r

en en en e e . e e

is alr ady so g rally c l brat d that I m co strai d

e en e e e e ,
a n ne

to r f r my r ad r to t h pass g at f ull ; si c t h
e e e e e a e n e e

s m all st abridg m t m u st d d u t f ro m its b a u ti s d

e en '
e c e e , an

that othi g n b add d to t hn ll s th r o f

c an e e e e xc e en c e e e .

“Ho or aga sa d i S cri pt ur p uliarly to

n in, i s i n e, ec
, ,

disti g uish t h charact r f a g tl m a ; wh r it is

n e e o en e n e e

w ritt f S h m th
en o f Ha m or ec that h w
e ,
e s on o ,
‘
e as

mor ho orabl t ha all t h ho u s f his f th r

e n e n e e o a e .
’

“F ro m h c it m b i f rr d that
en h u
e m a xc l n e e
y a e n e e ,

l c or hu m a a m iabl ss doth t so m u h o sist

en e, n en e ,
no c c n

i a f r do m fro m f railty as i o u r r cov ry f ro m laps s

n ee n e e e ,
46 G EN LEME N S BOOK OF E TIQUE TTE
T
’
.

our d t statio f e e w tra sgr ssio s d our d

n O o ur o n n e n , an e

sir f ato i g by all p ossibl m a s t h i juri s w

e o n n , e e n , e n e e

hav do e d t h o ff n e, an s w hav giv Hri e ence e e en . e e n,

th r f or m y co sist t h V ry si g ul ar disti ctio whi h

e e e, a n e e n n n c

t h gr a t apostl m ak s b tw
e e his stim atio f a j u st
e e e een e n o

d f a good m F or a just or right o u s m say ’

an o an . e an , s

h w o u ld gr u dg to d i ; b u t f a good m
‘
e, on e e e or an on e

wo ld v dar to d i
u e H r t h ju st m is up p os d
en e e.
’
e e e an s e

to adh r stri tly to t h r ul f right or q u ity d t

e e c e e O e ,
a n o

e x act f ro m oth rs t h sa m m t h t h is satisfi d

e e e e a s ur e '
a e e

to m t ; bu t th good m tho u gh occasio ally h m y

e e e an , n e a

fall short f j u sti has prop rly p aki g m as ur

o c e, ,
e S e n , n o e e

to his b vol c e his g ral pro p sity is to giv m or

en e en ,
en e en e e

tha t h d n Th j u st m
e co d m s nd is d siro u
ue . e an n e n ,
a e s

o f p u shi g t h tra sgr ssors f t h li

ni n pr scrib d to
e n e o e ne e e

hi ms l f ; bu t t h good m
e th s s f his w f alls
e an , i n e en e o o n

an d faili gs g v s latitud n i du lg c
,
i d pardo to
e e, n en e , an n

oth rs ; h j u dg s h co d m s
e e sav hi ms lf
e , e n e n no one e e .

Th j st m e is a str am that d viat s t to th right

u an e e e no e

O l f t f ro m its ap p oi t d cha l ith r is sw ll d by

'

r e n e nne , ne e e e

t h flood f passio
e abov its ba ks ; b u t t h h art f
o n e n e e o

t h good m
e th m f ho or t h g tl m a
an , is as a
e an o n ,
e en e n,

la m p light d by t h br ath f G D d o sav G D

e e e O O ,
a n n ne e O

h m s lf
i t li m its t t h
e c an s e fl or irradiatio s th o f o e e ux n er e .

“Agai t h g tl m a n v r vi s y s u p r or
e en e n ne e en e an e i ex
,

ce ll b u t grows him s l f mor xc ll t by b g t h

e n c e, e e e e en , ei n e

ad mir r pro m ot r d lov r th r o f S a ul said to his

e ,
e ,
a n e e e .

s on Jo atha Thou n f t h p rv rs e r b llio u s

n, son o e e e , e e

w om do t I k o w that thou has t chos t h

an , no n f en e s on o

J ss to thi w co f u sio ! F or as lo g as th
e e ne o n n n n e s on

o f J ss l i th upo e t h grou d thou halt

e ve t b n e n , s no e os
 P OL ITE N E S S . 47

thy ki g do m ; wh f or s d d f t h
t a b l is h e d , h o r n er e e en an e c

him u to m f h hall s ur l y d i H r v ry i ’
n e, or e S e e . e e e e n

teres t i g motiv that

n possibly b co iv d to hav
e c an e nce e e

an i flu c n men u it d to u rg Jo atha to t h d
e on an , n e e n n e e

struc tio f David ; h would th r by hav ob y d hi

n o e e e e e e s

ki gn d pa ifi d a f ath r who was

, a n c rag d ag i st him
e e en e a n .

H w o uld th r by hav r m o d t h o ly l m i ary that

e e e e e ve e n u n

th en lips d t h bright ss f his w a hi v m ts

ec e e ne o o n c e e en .

A d h
n w as his fath r said that t h d ath
e sa ,
f Da i d e ,
e e o v

alo could stablish t h ki gdo m i hims l f d hi

ne e e n n e an s

post rity But all thos co sid ratio s w r f a il

e . e n e n , e e o no va

to m ak Jo ath s w rv f ro m ho or to sla k t h
e n an e e n , c en e

ba ds of his f aith or cool th w ar mt h f his fri dshi p

n , e o en .

0 Jo atha ! t h sacrific w hi h tho u th

n n e m ad st t e c en e o

i t
v r ue , w i o mparably m or ill strio u s i t h sight f
'
as nc e u n e o

G od d his a g ls tha all t h s ubs qu t glo i s t

an n e n e e en r e o

which David attai d Wha t a crow w thi J ne . n as n e,

‘
ona

tha w h tho u w st slai i thy high pla c s I

n, en a n n e
’

“S a u l f Tars u s had b o am f bigotry blood een an o , ,

an d viol c ; m aki g havoc

en e d br a thi g o u t thr at
n ,
a n e n e

en ni g d sla ght r agai st all who w r

s an u t f hi
e , n e e no o s

o w n s c t d p rs u asio But wh t h spirit f tha t

e an e n. , en e o

IN AN who l id hi ms l f i th m a g r f hum a fl sh
F T, a e n e n e o n e ,

c a m u p o him h q uir d a w h art d a w

e n ,
e ac e ne e an ne na

tur ; d h o ff r d hi ms lf a w illi g s ubj ct to all t h

e an e e e e n e e

s uff ri gs d p rs u tio s which h had bro ght upo

e n an e ec n e u n

oth rs e .

S a u l f ro m that ti m mplifi d i his w p rso e , e xe e n o n e n,

all thos q u aliti s f t h g tl m a w hi h h a f t

e e o e en e n, c e er

war ds p ifi i his c l brat d d scriptio f that

s ec es n e e e e n o

charity which as h ays lo

, ,
dur th f or v r e s ,
‘
a ne en e e e .
48 G EN TLE MEN S BO OK ’
OE E TI QUE TTE .

Wh F stus cri d with loud voic P aul ,thou t

en e e 1a e,
‘
ar

b sid thys lf much l ar g doth mak th mad ;

e e e ,
e ni n e ee r
’

P aul str tch d t h ha d e d a sw r d

e I m tm d e n ,
an n e e ,
a no a ,

mos t obl F stus b ut p ak forth t h words of tr u th

n e e ,
s e e

an d so b r ss F or t h ki g k ow th of th s thi gs
e ne . e n n e e e n ,

b for whom als I p ak fr ly ; for I am p rsuad d

e e o S e ee e e

t hat o f th s thi gs
n ne o hidd from him K i g e e n ar e en . n

Agrippa b li v st tho u t h proph ts ! I k ow that thou

,
e e e e e n

b li v st
e e Th e A gr pp s id u to P aul Al m ost thou
.
’
en i a a n ,

p rs u ad est m to b Christia
e A d P aul said
e I e a n.
’
n ,

w o u ld to G od that t o ly thou b ut also all that h a no n ,

e r

m this day w r
e t o ly al m os t b ut alt og th r such
, e e no n e e as

a —
I m xc pt th s b o ds H r with what
,
4
e e im i t
e e n .
’
e e, an In

a bl e l ga c di d this m
e e n hi e w p rso at o c an , In s o n e n, n e

Su m p t h orator t h sa t
u e d t h g tl ma '
,
e in
,
an e en e n

“F ro m th s i sta c s my fri d you e e must hav n n e , en , e

s e en that t h charact r rath quality of G E N TLE

e e , or er a

MAN d o s ,
t e
y d gr d
no , inp d fash o an e ee, e en on i n or

m od stati o or Op o ; ith r cha g s with cus

e, on n i ni n ne e n e

t o m s cli m at or ag s B ut as t h S pirit f G od a
e, e e o c n
!

,
.
,

a lo i spir it i to m so it is G od i t h am ,
ne n e n an . ,
a s s e s e

y st r d ay to day d for v r
e e ,
-

,
a n e e .
”

I co cl u di g this chapt r I would

n n
y n e sa
“I t h co m m o n actio s d tra sactio of lif ,
e n n an n ns e

t h r is a W d disti c t io b t w
e e i t h w ll br d
e d th n n e een e e -
e an e

ill br d If a p rso f th latt r sort b i a sup rio

-
e . e n o e e e n e r

co ditio i li f his co d u ct towards thos b lo w him

n n n e, n e e ,

or d p d t u po him is mark d b y haughti ss or b y

e en en n , e ne ,

un ma rly co d sc s o
nne I th co mpa y f hi
n e en i n. n e n o s

e quals i tatio d circumsta c s

n s ill b r d m
n an n e , an -
e an IS
50 G E N TL E ME N S
’
BOOK OF E IQUE TE T T .

CH A P TE R I I I .

T ABLE E TI QUE TTE .

ITmay s m v ry si mpl thi g to ee yaour m al e e n e s,

y t
e th r occasio
e e is no upo which t h g tl m a d n n e en e n , an

t h l ow br d
e ulgar m
-
e m or stro gl y co tr st d
,
v an a r e e n n a e ,

t ha wh n at t h tabl Th rul s I shall g v f tabl

en e e. e e i e or e

e tiq u tt wh i co m pa y w ill apply q u ally w ll for

e e en n n e e

t h hom
e 1 with t h
e (3e c p tio f so m f w poi ts
8, e ex e n o e e n ,

re adily disc r ibl whic h may b o m itt d t yo ur w

e n e, e e a o n

t abl e .

A w ll b r d m , r c ivi g i vitati o t di with

e -
e an e e n an n n o ne

a fri d sho uld r ply to i t i mm diat ly wh th r h

en e e e , e e e ac

ce p t or sd cli s it e ne .

H should b pu ctual to th hour a m d i t h i i

e e n e n e n e nv

t tia f v or t n mi u t s arli r if co v i t b u t
on , i e e t n e e e n e n en , no

on e i sta t l t r H m ust v r u l ss h has pr v o sly

n n a e . e ne e , n e e e i u

a sk d p r missio to do so tak w it h him y f ri d t

e e n
,
e an en no

n am d i his i vitatio IIi hos t d host ss hav t h

e n n n. -
-

s an e e e

privil g f i viti g whom th y will d it

e e o n n mp r e ,
a n i s an i e

ti n en ce t forc th m to xt o d th ir hospitality as th y
e e e en e , e

must do if you i troduc a f ri d at th ir w ho u s n e en e o n e .

S p ak e t ri g t h parlor f your f ri d fi st to
, o n en e n e o en , r

t h host s th
e to t h host
es , en e .

Wh di r is en ou c d th ho t host s will
nn e an n n e , e s or e s
 E QU E E 51TABL E TI TT .

gi t h sig al f l avi g t h dra w i g roo m d you

ve e n or e n e n -

, a n

w ill p obably b r q u st d to s ort

r f t h ladi s to
e e e e e c on e o e e

t h tabl
e Of f to h yo ur l f t m d at th tabl
e . er er e ar ,
a n e e

wait u til h is s at d i d d wait u til v ry lady is

n s e e e ,
n ee n e e

s at d b f or taki g yo ur w pla
1

e e ,
e e n o n ce .

I l avi g t h parlor you w ill p /s s o u t first

n e n e d th a ,
an e

lady w ill f ollo w yo u still holdi g yo u r m At t h ,

n ar . e

door f t h di i g roo m t h lady will dro p yo ur m

o e n n -

, e ar .

P ass i th w ait n, s id f t h tra c till h

en on on e e o e en n e s e

pass s yo u to h pla at th tab l

e ,
er ce e e .

If th r ladi s yo u m y go to t h tabl with

”

e e ar e n o e , a e e

an
y g tl m aen w h sta dse ar you or nwith who m oyou n ne ,

m y b co v rsi g w h
a e di r is a o u d If yo u r
n e n en nne nn nce .

co m pa io i old r tha yo urs l f t d to him t h

n n s e n e ,
e x e n e

sa m co urt sy whi h yo u w o u ld
e e to w ards a lady c us e .

Th r e a tho u sa d littl p oi ts to b obs rv d i

e ar e n e n e e e n

yo u r co du t at tabl whi h whil th y

n c t b e c , e e ar e no a so

l t ly
u e c ssary ne
y t disti
e ctiv m arks of a,
war ll
e br d e n e e -
e

If , wh
at ho m you practic ha bit u ally th co u rt
en e, e e e

si s f th tabl th y will sit u p o you asily wh

e o e e, e n e en

abroad ; b ut if yo u gl t th m at ho m you w ill ne ec e e, us e

th m awk w ardly wh i o mp a y d yo u will f nd

e en n c n ,
a n i

yo u rs l f r og iz d a m who has company m

e ec n e as an an

ne rs o ly wh abroad
,
”
n en .

I hav s m w h t so up or ch w d th ir f ood
e een en o ea ,
e e e ,

i so oisy a m a
n n r as to b h ard f ro m d f th
nne e e on e e n o e

tabl to t h oth r ; fill th ir m ouths so f ull f f ood as to

e e e e o ,

thr at s uff o atio or choki g ;

e en th ir w k if f
c n n us e e o n n e or

th but t r
e d salt ; put th ir f n
e , an g rs i t h s ugar bowl ; e i e n e

an d commit oth r faults quit as mo strous y t s m e e n , e ee

 G E N TL BMBN S
’
B OOK or E IQUE TE
T T .

p r f ctly u co scious that t h y w r doi g a ythi g t

e e n n e e e n n n o

attract att tio en n.

T y to sit asily
r d grac f ully b t at th sa m tim
e an e ,
u e e e

a void cro w di g thos b sid you n e e e .

F ar f rom at i g with a idi ty f what v r d licaci

e n v o e e e es

which m y b upo t h t bl d which

a e oft s r d
n e
‘

a e , an ar e en e ve

i s m all q u a titi s partak of th m b ut spar gly

n n e , d e e in ,
an

d cli th m wh o f f r d th s co d ti m
e ne e en e e e e n e.

M a y m at th i w tabl hav littl p c uliar

n en e r o n e e e e no

t io s which a gu st do
n ,
w ll to r sp c t S o m w ill
e es e e e . e

f l h urt v o f f d d if yo u d cli
ee ,
e en dish whi h th y
en e , e ne a c e

r co mm d ; whil oth rs xp ct you to t orm ously

e en e e e e ea en ,

as if th y f ar d you did t appr ciat th ir hospitality

e e e no e e e

u l ss you tast d f v ry dish upo t h tabl T y to

n e e o e e n e e . r

pay r sp ct to such whi m s at t h tabl f oth rs b t

e e e e o e ,
u

avoid havi g y uch otio s wh pr sidi g ov r your

n an s n n en e n e

o w b oard
n .

Ob a strict o b ri ty ; v r dri k of
s e i ve
M
m tha s e ne e n or e n

on e ki d of wi n d partak of that spari gl y

n e , an e n

Th styl of s rvi g di
e er diff r t at diff r t
e n nne is e en e en

hous s ; if t h r
e ma y s rva ts th y will bri g you
e e ar e n e n e n

your plat fill d d y m ust k p it If yo u ha

e e ,
an ou ee . ve

th car of a lady
e e that h has what h d sir s , s e e s e s e e e ,

b for y ou giv your w ord r t t h wait r ; b ut if

e e e o n e o e e

th r b ut f w do m sti s
e e ar e d t h dish s
e po t h e c , an e e ar e u n e

tab l you may with p r f ct propri ty h lp thos

e, a e e e e e ne r

y ou,f ro m y dish withi your

an r ach n e .

If yo ur host or host ss pass s you a plat k p it e e e, ee ,

e sp cially if y hav chos t h f ood u po it for oth rs

e ou e en e n ,
e

hav l choic
e a so a d by passi g it you may giv you
e , an n , e r
 BLE E QU E E TA 53 TI TT .

ne ighbor dish di t f l to him d tak yo urs l f es s as e u ,

an e e

thos whi h h would m u h pr f r

e c e c e e .

If i t h l av s f yo u r salad or i a plat f f r u it
‘

n e e e o ,
n e o

y ou fi d a wnor m or i s t p ass yo u r plat to t hn w ait

ec r !, e e e ,

w itho u t y co m m an t d h w i ll bri g yo u
en a oth ,
r
a n e n n e .

B car f l to a oid t h
e e u tr m s f gl ut to y or ov r
v e ex e e o n e

dai ti ss t t abl T t or mo u sly is disg u sti g ;

n ne a e. o ea en n

bu t if you t too spari gly yo u r host m y thi k tha t

ea n
,
a n

yo u d s pis his f ar
e e e.

Watch that th lady who m yo u scort d to t h tabl e e e e e

is w ll h l p d L i f t d ha g h plat f h p s
e e e . an c n e er e or er, a s

h er br ad salt d b utt r giv h ord rs to th w ait r

e , ,
a n e , e er e e e ,

an d p y h a v ry att tio i yo u r pow r

er e e en n n e .

B f or taki g yo u r plac at t abl w ait u til your

e e n e e, n

p lac poi
e is t d t to you
n e u l ss th rou cards b ar ,
n e e e ar e e

i g th
n am s f th gu sts upo t h plat s ; i t h latt r
e n e o e e n e e n e e

cas tak t h plac th u s m ar k d f yo u

e, e e e e or .

Pu t your apki u p o yo u r l p cov ri g yo u r k s

n n n a
,
e n nee .

It is o u t f dat d o w look d u po as a v ulgar habi t

e , an no e n

to p ut yo u r apki p ov r yo ur br ast
n n u e e .

S it ith r too ar
ne too f f ro m t h tabl N v r
e ne n or ar e e . e e

hitch p your oat sl v s or wristb ds as if yo u w r

u c -
ee e an e e

goi g to wash yo ur ha ds S o m m do this habit u

n n . e en

ally b u t it is a sig f v ry bad br di g

, n o e ee n .

N v r tip your chair or lo u g ba k i it duri g

e e ,
n e c n n

di r nn e .

All g stic ulatio s o u t f plac d i b ad tast t e a

‘

e n ar e o e , an n

t h tabl
e Avoid m aki g th m
e. n e .

Co v rs i a low to to yo u r ighbor y t t wi th
n e e n ne ne ,
e no

an
y air f y i f
o oth rs s e cr e s g g d i é t d f é t e ar e en a e n
‘
z
‘

e - -
‘

co v rsatio if how v r t h co v rsatio is g ral

n e n , e e , e n e n ene ,
 G BN TL E MBN S Bo ok
’
or E IQUE TE
T T .

a void co v rsi g tét a tét Do t rais your voic

n e n
‘
e - -
‘
e. no e e

too mu ch ; if y ca ot mak thos at so m dista c ou nn e e e n e

fro m you h ar you wh sp aki g i a mod rat to

e en e n n e e n e,

co fi your r m arks t thos ar y

n ne e o e ne ou .

If you W sh f a k i f plat or a ythi g f rom t h

i or n e, e, n n e

sid tabl v r addr ss thos i att da c as Wait r

e e,n e e V e e n en n e e
”

as you would at a hot l t t b u t cal l of e or r es a u r a n , one

th m by a m ; if you ca o t do this m ak him ig

e n e nn , e a s n

Witho u t sp aki g e n .

U l ss you
n e r qu st d to d v r s l ct y
ar e e e e o so ne e e e an

partic ular part of dish but if yo u r host asks y a ,

ou

wha t p ar t you pr f r a m so m part as i this c s t h e e ,n e e , n a e e

i i ili y wo uld co sist i m aki g yo u host choos

nc v t n n n r e as

w ll as carv f
e you e or .

N v r blow yo u r so p if it is too hot b u t w it ti l

e e u ,
a un

it cools N v r rais yo u r plat to yo u lips b u t t

. e e e e r , ea

with yo ur spoo n.

N v r to u h ith r your k if or yo u r f ork u til a f t r

e e c e e n e n e

you hav fi ish d ati g yo ur so up L av yo u r spoo

e n e e n . e e n

in your so up plat tha t t h s rva t may r m ov th m e, e e n e e e

b oth N v r tak so u p twic

. e e e e.

I cha gi g yo r plat
n n or passi g it d u r g di r
n u e, n in nn e ,

r m ov yo u r k i f d f ork that t h plat l m y b

e e n e an , e e a on e a e

tak b u t af t r you hav fi ish d yo u r di r 5cross t h

en, e e n e nne , e

k if d f ork t h
n e an
gthat th s rva t
on m y tak e e e e n a e

a ll away b f or b
plat
g g you cl a o s for d ss rt
e e i lu
o

in e n ne e e
, .

Do t bit yo u r br ad f ro m t h roll or slic

no e t e e e , n o r ou

it with yo u r k i f ; 5br ak ff s m all pi c s d put th s

n e e o e e an e e

i your m o u th w i th yo u r fi g r s 5
n n e .

A t di rd t put b t t
nn e yo u r b r a d N v r
o no u ei on e e e

dip a pi c of b r ad i to th gravy or pr s rv s po
e e e n e e e e u n
 BLE E QU E 55 TA TI ET T .

yo u r plat d th bit it b u t if yo u wish to t th m

e an en e , ea e

tog t h r br ak t h br ad i to s m all pi s d arry

e e
‘

e e e n e c e , an c

th s to yo ur m o uth w ith your f ork

e e .

U al w ays t h salt spoo s ugar to gs d b utt r

se e -
n, -
n ,
an e

k i f ; to
n e yo ur w k i f s poo or fi g rs evi s
us e o n n e, n, n e , n ce

a sho ki g wa t f good br di g
c n n o -
ee n .

N v r t z y dish b f or you
e e c ri i c i e an e e .

If a d ish is distast f u l to y d li it but m ak e ou , ec ne

, e no

r m ar ks abo ut it It is si k i g d disgu sti g to

e . c en n an n ex

plai t a abl how

n a arti l m ak s yo u i k or why
t e on e c e e s c ,

so me oth r dish has b co m distast f ul to yo u I ha

e e e e . ve

s a w l l dr ss d t mpti g dish go f rom a t abl

e en e -
e e e n e nu

to u ch d b cau s e f t h co m pa y told a m ost di g st

,
e e on e o e n s u

i g a cdot abo u t fi di g v r m i s r d i a si m il r dish

n ne e n n e n e ve n a .

N o wit i th arratio n cus so palpably

e n rror n c an e x e an e

o f p olit ss en e .

N v r p t bo s or t h s ds f f r u it po t h tabl
e e u ne , e ee o u n e e

cloth P t t h m u po t h dg f yo u r plat
. u e n e e e o e.

Nvr e yo u r k i f f
e
y
usep u rpos b u t to t yo u r n e or an e ea

food It is t m a t to b p t i yo ur m o u th You
. no e n e u n . r

f or k is i t d d to c rry t h f ood f rom yo u r plat to

n en e a e e

yo ur m o u th d g tl m r ats with his k if

,
a n no en e an e ve e n e .

If t h m at or fish u p o yo u r plat is too rar or too

e e n e e

w ll do
e -
do t t it ; giv f
n e, cus that you
no ea e o r an ex e

p r f r so m oth r dish b f or yo u ; b ut v r t ll yo ur
e e e e e e ne e e

host that his ook has m ad t h dish u atabl c e e ne e .

N v r p ak w h yo u hav a ythi g i yo u r m o th
e e S e en e n n n u .

N v r pil t h f ood yo u r plat as if you w r t

e e e e on e e e s ar v

i g b u t tak a littl at
n , ti m th dish s will t
e e a e e e no r un

aw ay .

Nvr e your w k if
e d fork to h lp ith
us e o n n e an e e er
56 G E N TLE MBN S
’
BOOK or E TIQUE TTE .

yours l f oth rs Th r is alway

e or b for t h dish
e . e e s one e e e

a t v ry w ll s rv d tabl
e e d you should
e -
that
e e e , an us e .

It is good pla t accustom yours lf to usi g your

a n o e n

fork with t h l ft ha d wh ati g you thus avoid

e e n , en e n ,
a s

t h awkward
e s s of co sta tly passi g t h fork from your
ne n n n e

l f t ha d to y ur right d b ack agai wh cutti g

e n o ,
a n n, en n

your food d ati g it an e n .

N v r p t frui t r b b o s you pock t to carry

e e u o on -
n in r e

t h m from t h ta b l
e e e.

D t cut fruit with

o no t l k if U il a s ee n e. se a s ve r

on e .

N ver e fa t t hurry th oth r at t h tab l

e at s o s as o e e s e e,

n or so lowly t k p th m waiti g
s as o ee e n .

If you d t tak wi v r k p t h b ottl sta d

o no e ne, n e e ee e e n

i g b for you b ut pass i t

n e e If y do t ak it pas
, on . ou e , s

it as oo as you hav fill d your glass

on s n e e .

If you wish to r mov fish b o or fruit s d fro m e e a ne ee

your m outh cov r your lip with your ha d or apki

,
e s n n n,

t ha t oth rs may t eyou r m ov it no s ee e e .

If you wish t your ha dk rchi f d hav t o use n e e , an e no

t m
i to l av t h tab l tur your h ad away d
e e e e e, n e ,
an as

q uickly as possi b l p t t h ha dk rchi f i your pock t e u e n e e n e

a gai n.

Al way wip your mouth b for dri ki g

s e othi g e e n n , a s n n

i mor ill br d tha t

s e gr as you glass with you
-
e n o e e r r

l ip s .

If you i it d t dri k with fri d d do t

ar e nv e o n a en , a n no

dri k wi b ow rais your glas of wat

n n e, d dri k, e s er an n

w ith him .

D t propo
o no t tak wi wit h y u h st ; it i hi
se o e ne o r o s s

p rivil g t ievi t y
e o n e ou.
58 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

If ladi s w ithdraw l avi g th g tl m aft

t he e ,
e n e en e en , er

di r ris w h th y l av t h tabl
nn e
,
e en d r mai e e e e e, an e n

t di g u til th y hav l f t th roo m

s an n n e e e e .

I giv f ro m a r t E glish work som hu m oro u sly

e, ece n n
,
e

writt dir tio s f tabl ti q u tt

en ec nd altho u gh th y
or e e e e , an , e

ar e so m f th m r p titio s of what I hav alr ady

e o e e e n e e

giv th y w ill b f o u d to co tai ma y us ful hi ts

en, e e n n n n e n

W w com to habits at tabl

e no which e v ry i m e, ar e e

porta t How v r agr abl a m may b i soci ty

n . e e ee e an e n e ,

if h ff ds or dis gu sts by his tabl traits h will soo

e o en e , e n

b sco u t d fro m it
e d justly so
e Th r so m b road
,
a n . e e ar e e

r ul s f b havior at tabl Wh v r th r is a s rva t

e or e e . en e e e e e n

t o h lp yo u e r h lp yo u rs l f N v r put a k if
,
n e ve e e . e e n e

i to yo u r mo u th t
n with ch s which sho uld b
, no e ve n ee e, e

e at W th a f ork N v r
en i a spoo for a ythi g b ut
. e e u se n n n

l iq uid N v r to u h a ythi g dibl with your fi g r

s . e e c n n e e n e s.
“F orks w r u do ubt dly lat r i v tio tha
e e, n e
'
a e n en n n
,

fi g rs b u t as w
n e , t ca ,
ibals I am i li d to
e ar e no nn ,
nc ne

t hi k th y w r a good
n e Th re e so m f w thi g one . e e ar e e e n s

which you m y tak u p with your fi g rs Th s a e ,

n e . u an

e p c u
i r will at
e v m c ro i with
e his fi eg rs ;
en d a a n n e an as

s u ki g asparagu s is m or pl asa t tha ch wi g it y

c n e e n n e n ,
ou

m y as
a
,
pic ur tak it up
an e t l B ut both
e, e aa n a ur a .

th s thi gs
e e g rally at with a f ork B r ad ;
n ar e en e e en . e is

o f o urs at w ith th fi g rs d it w ould b absurd

c e, e en e n e ,
an e

to carv it with yo u k i f d f ork It must

e th
r n e an .
, on e

co trary al w ays b brok wh

n , t b u tt r d e d you en en no e e ,
a n

s hould v r p u t a sli f dry br ad to yo u r m o u t h t

ne e ce o e o

b it a pi c f f M ost fr sh f rui t too

e e e o . at with t h e , ,
Is e en
‘

n atural pro gs b u t wh you hav p l d ora g or

n ,
en e ee e an n e

a ppl you houl d t it with t h aid of th fork l

e, s cu e e ,
un es s
 TA BLE E Q UE E TI TT . 59

yo u succ d i br aki g it Apropos f whi h I

c an ee n e n . o c ,

m y hi t that
a p
n i u r v r y t p t a
no k i
ef toc e e e e u n e an

a
pp l d that
e, an ora g sho u ld b p l d
an w i t h a pnoo e e ee e s n.

B t t he art f p li g
u ora g so as to hold its w
o ee n an n e o n

j ui d its w sugar too is

ce, an o that n s arc ly b ,
on e , c an c e e

taught i a book n .

“Ho w v r l t us go to di e e , r d I will soo t ll

e nn e a n n e
,

yo u w h th r you e a w ll br d m or t ; d h r
e ar e e -
e an no an e e

l t m p r m is that w hat is good m a

e e e e rs f a s m all nn e or

d i r is good m a rs f a larg
nn e d di nn e a or e o n e , an ce ve r s .

N w t h first thi g yo u do is to sit do w

o , e n S to p sir n. ,

pray do t cram yo urs l f i to t h t abl i tha t w y ;

no e n e e n a

n o, nor sit a yard f ro m it lik that H w gra l ss i ,

e . o ce e ,
n

c o v i t d i t h w y f o v rsatio ! Why
n en en , an n e a o c n e n ,

d ar m ! yo u positiv ly pu tti g yo u r l bo w s t h
e e ar e e n e on e

t bla d w yo u hav got yo u r ha ds f u m bli g abo u t

e , an no e n n

w ith t h sp oo s d f or k s d w yo u
e n an a ly ,
an no are ne r

k o ki g my w ho k glass s o r Ca t yo u tak
n c n ne c e ve . n
’
e

y o u r ha ds dow sir !
n Did t yo u l ar
n th
,
t i t h n
’
e n a n e

n u rs ry Did t yo u r m am m a say to yo u N v r p t
e n
’

,
e e u

yo ur ha ds abov t h tabl x pt to arv or t

n e e 7 e e ce c e ea
’

O h ! b u t co m o s s sit p if yo u pl as I
e, n o n n en e, u , e e.

ca t hav yo u r fi h ad f hair f or m i g a sid d ish

n
’
e ne e o n e on

my tabl ; yo u mu st t b ury yo u r f ac i t h p l at O
e no e n e e, y u

c a m to ho w it d it o ught to b aliv W ll b u t
e S ,
an e e .
‘

e ,

th r is o asio to thro w yo ur h ad b k lik tha

e e no cc n e ac e t,

you look l ik ald r m a sir f t di r P ray

e an e n,
,
a er nn e .
'

do t lo u g i that sl py way ” Yo u
n
’
n e n h r to t ee ar e e e ea

dri k d b m rry You

n
, a n esl p wh you g t
e . c an ee en e

ho m e.
“W ll th I suppos you
e en , your apki e c an s ee n n.
,
60 G ENTLEMEN S B OO K OF E QUE TE ’
TI T .

G ot n o
i d d ! V ry lik ly i my hous Y
n e, n ee e e , n e . ou

may b sur that I v r sit dow to a m al witho u t

e e ne e n e

n apki s I do t wa t to m ak m y tabl cloths u fit f

n . n
’
n e e n or

d I do t wa t to m ak m y trous rs u w arabl
’
u s e, an n n e e n e e.

W ll w we ,
n o all s at d yo u
,
e ar e u f old it yo u r e e , c an n on

k s;nee ; do t t u ck
n o, n o it i to yo u r waistcoat lik
n
’
n e an

a ld r m a ; d what ! wha t
e n an arth do you m a b y on e e n

wipi g your f or h ad with it ! Do you tak it f a

n e e e or

t ow l ! W ll v r m i d I am co s ol d t hat you did

e e ,
n e e n , n e

no t go farth r d it as a pock t ha dk rchi f S

e , an us e e -
n e e . o

talk away to th lady your right d wait till so p i e on ,

an u s

ha d d to you B y t h way that waiti g is th m os t

n e . e ,
n e

i m porta t part of tabl ma rs d as m uch as possi

n e nne ,
a n ,
'

bl e, you should avoid aski g f a ythi g or h lpi g n or n n e n

yo urs lf f ro m th tabl Your so u p you t with

e e e. ea a

S —
poo I do t k ow what ls you ld t it with
n n
’
n e e c ou ea

b t th
u it m u st ben f good z Y that will do
e on e o Si e . es, ,

b ut I b g you will t m ak that odiou ois i dri ki g

e no e s n e n n n

your soup It is lo u d r tha a dog lappi g wat r d

. e n n e , an

a cat wo uld b q u t g t l to it Th y e i d Ot
e en ee . en ou n ee n

s crap up t h plat i that way

e e v til t it to g t
e n ,
n o r e en e

t h last drop I shall b hap py to s d you so m m or '

e . e en e e

b t I m u st j u st r em ark that i t is
u t t h custo m to tak ,
no e e

t w h l pi gs f so u p
o e nd it is liabl t k p oth r p o pl
o ,
a n e o ee e e e

waiti g w hich o c f all is a s lfish d i tol rabl

n , , n e or ,
e an n e e

habit Bu t do t you h ar t h s rva t o ff ri g you

. n
’
e e e n e n

sh rry ! I w ish you wo ld att d f my s rva ts hav

e u en ,
or e n e

q u t o ugh to do d a t wait all t h v i g whil

i e en ,
an c n
’
e e en n e

y oufi i h that v ry
n sm ild story to M iss G oggl
e s Co m e . e,

l av that d ca t r alo
e e I had t h wi put t h
e n e ne. e ne on e

tab l t fill p ; th s rva ts will ha d it dir ctly or as

e o u e e n n e , ,
 BLE E QU E E TA 61 TI TT .

w a s m all p arty I w ill t ll you to h lp yo urs lf ;

e ar e ,
e e e

b u t pray do t b so m i
, ,
no
(T h r I hav
e s t o c ous . e e, e en

hi m so m t u rbot to k p h i m q i t
e I d lar h a ot ee u e . ec e e c nn

m ak p his
e u m i d ) Yo u k p i
n g m y
. s rva t aga ar e ee n e n i n,

sir Will yo u r w ill you t do t urbot ! Do t

.
,
o no , n
’
ex

a m i it i that w y ; it is q uit f r sh I ass ur yo u ;

ne n a e e ,
e

tak or d cli it Ah yo u tak it but that is

e e ne .
, e ,
no

r aso why you sho uld tak p a k if too F ish I

e n e u n e .
,
re

p at m u st v r b to u h d w ith a k if Ta k a f ork
e ,
ne e e c e n e . e

i t h right
n e d a s m all p i an f b ad i t h l f t ha d ece o re n e e n .

G ood b u t ,
O h ! that is at ro io u s ; f co urs y c o e ou

mu st t s w allow t h bo
no s b u t yo u sho uld rath r do so
e ne , e

tha pi t th m o u t i tha t way Pu t p yo ur a pki

n S e n . u n n

lik this d la d t h said bo

e ,
a n yo ur plat Do t
n e n e on e. n
’

r ub yo ur h ad i t h sa u my good m
e n go pro g
e ce, an , n or
‘

gi g abo u t a f t r th shri m ps or oyst rs th r

n e e Oh ! e e ei n .

h w horrid ! I d l ar yo u r m outh w
o ec wid p e d as e O en an

f ull f fish o S m all pi c s I b s ch yo u ;

. d o c fe e , e ee an n e or

all what v r you t k p your m outh h t d v r

,
e e ea , ee s u , an ne e

att mpt to talk with it f ull

e .

S w you hav
o no got a p at e S ur ly yo u e t . e ar e n o

t aki g t w
n yo ur plat Th r is pl ty of di r to
o on e . e e en nn e

co m d
e, an is q uit ou gh O h ! d ar m yo u
on e e en . e e, ar e

i corrigibl What ! a k i f to c u t that light brittl

n e. n e
, e

pastry ! N o fi g rs v r N or a spoo —al m ost

, n o r n e , n e e . n

as bad Tak yo u r f ork sir your f ork ; d w you

. e , , an ,
n o

h av at oblig m by wipi g yo u r m outh d m o u s

e e en , e e n an

tach with yo u r apki for th r is a bit f t h pastry

e n n, e e o e

ha gi g to t h latt r d lo ki g v ry disagr abl

n n e e , an o n e ee e.

W ll you
e , r f s a dish if you lik Th r is
c an e u e e. e e no

positiv c ssity for you t tak v iso if y do t

e ne e o e en n ou n
’
wa t it n
y. rat do B ut
t b i ,that t at
rrific an e, no e n e

h u rry Y . t go g ff by t h
ou are n o xt trai W it in o e ne n. a

for t h sau ed w ait f v g tabl s bu t wh th r y

ce an or e e e e e ou

ea t th m or t doe t b gi b f or v rybo dy ls
no , no e n e e e e e e .

S u r ly you m u st tak m y t bl f
e that f a rail way e a e or o re

f sh m t m m for yo u hav fi ish d b f or t h p rso

re en o ,
e n e e e e e n

I h l p d fi t F ast ati g is bad f t h dig s tio my

e e rs . e n or e e n,

good d t v ry good m a
si r , an rs ith r What !
no e n ne e e . ar e

yo u tryi g to t m at with a f ork alo ! Oh ! it i

n ea e ne s

s w tbr ad I b g yo u r pardo you

ee e ,
qu it right
e n, ar e e .

L t m g v y
e a r l E v rythi g that
e i e ou b t u e, -
e n c an e ou

wit ho u t a k i f sho uld b cut with a fork alo

n e, E t e ne . a

your v g tabl s th r f or with a f ork N o th r

e e e , e e e, .
,
e e i s no .

ne c ssity to tak a poo for p as ; a fork i t h righ t

e e S n e n e

ha d will do What ! did I r ally

n . you p t you e s ee u r

k if i to your m outh ! Th I m u st giv you up

n e n en e .

O c f ll d v r t h k if is to t n t to h lp
n e or a ,
a n e e ,
e n e ou , o e

w ith P r y do t m u ch i that oisy m a r ; ch w

. a ,
no n n n nn e e

yo u r food w ll but so f tly E t l w ly Hav you t

e ,
. a s o . e no

h rd t hat N apol o lost t h battl f L i p sic by ati ng

ea e n e e o e e

too fast ! It is a fact though His hast ca u s d i di . e e n

g s t io whi h mad him i apabl of att di g to t h

e n, c e nc e en n e

d tails f t h battl You

e o you e t h las t p r o e . see ar e e e s n

e ati g at ta bl S i I will t allo w you to p ak t

n e . r
,
no S e o

my s rva ts i tha t way

e n If th y so r m ss as t
n . e ar e e i o

oblig y to ask f a ythi g do it g tly d i

e ou or n n ,
en ,
a n n a

l w to
o d tha k a s rva t j u st
n e , an m uch as you wo u l d
n e n as

his m ast T to h i as good a m

er. ;
en d b on e e s an an e

cau s h yo u r i f r or positio is t h v ry r aso

e e is n e i in n, e e e n

you should tr at him court ously O h ! it is of e e . n o us e

to k m t tak wm ; far fr om pacify g m it wil l

as e o e e in e,
 BLE E Q U E E 63 TA TI TT .

o ly m ak m mor gry f I t ll yo u th c u sto m is

n e e e an ,
or e e

q uit go o ut c pt i a f w o u try villag s d at

e ne ,
e x e n e c n e ,
an

a m ss tabl N or
e -
d you ask t h lady to do so
e . n ee e .

How v r th r is this co solatio if you sho ld ask y

e e , e e n n, u an

one to tak wi e with yo u h or h e t r f us

n so ,
e s e c an n o e e,

yo u hav yo u r w w y P rhap s t yo u will b ask

e o n a . e n ex e

i g m t hob
n e d b or t l q i t h F r
o h f ashio
an no ,
r u u cr n e en c n

with ar m s circl d Ah ! yo u do t k o w p rhap s

en e . n
’
n ,
e ,

that wh a lady t i q en that way with y yo u hav r n u es i n ou , e

a right to fi ish ff wi th a kiss V ry li k ly i d d !

n o . e e ,
n ee

Bu t it i t h c u sto m i f a miliar cir l s i F ra

s e bu t n c e n n ce
,

th w en t Fr e hm Will you att d to your

ar e no enc en . en

lady sir Yo u did t co m m r ly to t but to m ak

,
! no e e e ea , e

yo urs lf agr abl Do t it as gl u m as t h M m o t

e ee e. n
’
S e e n n a

Th b s ; talk
e e d b pl asa t N w yo u hav so m
an e e n . o , e e

p u ddi g N o k if
n — . A s p oo if you lik b u t
n e n o , n o. n e,

b tt r still a fork Y i r q u ir s a spoo ; th r is

e e ,
. es, ce e e n e e

a s m all ha d d you tak that

on e n e , e .

“S T his is t h f‘
ourth
no. ti m w i’
has b e
y a e ne e en

ha d d to you d I m sur yo u hav had o ugh

n e ,
a n a e e en .

D cli this tim if you pl as D cli that dish too

e ne e e e . e ne .

A yo u goi g to
re t f v rythi g that is ha d d ! I
n ea o e e n n e

pity you if you do N o you m ust t ask f m or .

, no or e

ch s d you m t
ee e, an t it with yo u r fork B r ak t h us
‘

ea . e e

r u sk with your fi g rs G ood You dri ki g a n e . . ar e n n

glass f old p ort Do t q u aff it dow at a g ulp i

o . no n n

tha t way N v r dri k a whol glass f ul of a ythi g at

. e e n e n n

o
nce.

“W l l h r is t h wi
e d d ss rte e Tak w hi h v r e n e an e e e c e e
, .

wi neyou lik b ut r m mb r you m u st k p to that d

e, e e e ee ,
a n

no t cha g ab out B for you g up tairs I w

n e ill allo w
. e e o s
 GE N LEMEN S B ook E QUE T E
'
’
64
‘

T or TI T .

you glass f sh rry a f t r yo u r clar t b ut oth r wis

a o e e e , e e

dri nk f wi o ly Yo u do t m a to say yo u
o on e ne n . n
’
e n ar e

h lpi g yo urs lf to wi b f or t h ladi s At l ast

e n e
‘

ne e e e e . e ,

o d r it to t h
e t to yo u d th p ss it
e one n ex ,
a n en a on

g tly t with a p u sh lik that Do t dri k so f ast ;

en ,
n o e . no n

you will h u rry m i pass g th d ca t rs if I th t

(

e n in e e n e , s ee a

yo u r glass is mpty You d t t d ss rt till t h e . n ee no e a e e e

ladi s go b ut O ff r th m what v r is ar st t
e ar e n e, e e e e ne e o

you A d w th y
. go dra w your chair a
n no e ar e n e, ne r

mi d I will try
n e , an d talk m or pl asa tly to you an e e n .

You will co m out adm irably at yo u r xt di r wit h

e ne nn e

all my t achi g What ! you e x it d y

n talk
. ar e e c e ,
ou a r e

i g lo u d to t h colo l
n No s s Com d tal k
e ne . n en e . e an

e asily to m or to your ar st ghbor Th r do t

e ne e n ei e e, n
’

g tti g ro ma tic
.

dri k y m or wi for I you

n an e n e. see ar e e n n .

You o b lig m to mak a mov You hav had ough

e e e e. e en

o f thos e wal uts ; you k pi g m my d ar

n So ar e ee n e, e Si r .

no w to co ff [ ! cup d t wh ich
ee I b g you will
on e an e a, e

no t pour i to your sauc r to cool n W ll t h di r h e . e ,

e nne as

do you good d m too L t us b amiab l to t h

ne ,
a n e . e e e e

l adi s b t t too much so

e , u no .
”

Champ , c hamp S ma c k, s ma c k S ma ck, s ma ck

C ha mp , c ha mp is thi g to k ow h w to mak —It on e n n o e a

puddi g d a oth r to k ow w to t it wh mad

n ,
an n e n no ea en e.

U m rciful d m o strous ois s with whi h m

‘

n e th an n ar e e n e c so e

p rso s acco pa y th ating

e m n — t h d vouri g of t h n e e n o, e e n e

food f which w trust t h y or tha kful T sit , e ,

e ar e n . o

dow with co m pa y f such masticators is lik j o i g

n a n o e in n

h rd f wm f di g S ob rly at tim proba

a e o s e ee n .
’
e ,
no e,

b ly th r ul
, a rof good b r di g l ss r gard d tha
e e es ee n e e e n

t f di g t i m pl c d parture from ’
a
‘
d t
ee n e, an a no a e is a e
66 G NTE LE MEN S BOOK ’
OE ETi OUETT E .

C H AP TE R I V .

E QUE H R TI T TE IN T E ST EE T .

A G EN TLEM AN wil l b a l ways polit i t h parl e e, n e or ,

di i g roo m d i th str t This las t claus wil l

n n -

,
a n n e ee . e

e sp cially i clud court sy towards ladi s

e n e m att e e , no er

what may b th ir g or positio A m who will

e e a e n. an

ann oy or i sul t wo m a i th str t low rs hims lf t

n a n n e ee , e e o

a b rut m att r wh th r h o ff
e, n o ds by look word
e e e e en , ,
o r

g stur Th r
e e. s v ral littl f orm of tiqu tt
e e ar e e e e s e e e,

giv b lo w t h obs rva c of which will mark t h g

en e , e e n e e en

tl me i t h str t
an n e ee .

Wh walki g with a lady or with a g tl ma wh

en n ,
en e n o

is old r tha yours lf giv th m t h upp r sid f t h

e n e ,
e e e e e o e

pa m t that is t h d ar st t h hous
ve en , ,
e Si e ne e e e.

Wh walk g alo en d you in

y o m i g ton e, an s e e an on e c n

wards y t h sa m sid
ou on f t h str t giv t h upp
e e e o e ee , e e er

part f th pav m t as you t u r asid to a m w h

o e e en ,
n e, an o

may carry a h avy b u dl to pri st or cl rgy m a , to

e n e, a e e n

a wo m a or to y ld rly p rso
n, an e e e n .

I a crowd
n v r r u d ly pu sh asid thos who m p d
ne e e e e i e e

yo r progr ss bu t wait p ati tly u til t h way cl ar

u e ,
en n e is e .

If you h u rri d by b u si ss f im p orta c or

ar e e ne o n e an e n

g g a m teyou will
en , fi d that a f w cour t ous words will
n e e
 E QUE E
TI TT ln THE S T REE T. 67

o p t h way b f or yo u m or quickly tha t h mos t

en e e e e n e

viol t pu shi g d lo u d talki g

en n an n .

If oblig d to cross a pla k ore arrow path l t y n

,
n ,
e an

lady or old p rso who m y also b passi g pr c d

e n a e n , e e e

yo u I as t h w y is slipp ry or i y w y sa f
. n c e e a e n an a un e,

y ou m y w ith a p r f, ct pro p ri ty o ff r toeassist eith r a e , e e e

a lady or ld rly p rso i cr ssi g it

e e e n n o n .

Do t s m ok i t h str t u til af t r dark d th

no e n e ee n e ,
a n en

r m ov yo u cigar f ro m yo u r m o u th if you m t a lady

e e r , ee .

B car f u l a b o u t your dr ss
e e Y v r k ow e . ou c an ne e n

whom you m y m t so it is b st to v r l av t ha ee , e ne e e e e

ho u s oth r wis tha w ll dr ss d B right colors d

e e e n e -
e e .
,
a n

m u ch j w lry e both u b co mi g to a g tl m a i
e ar e n e n en e n n

t h str t
e ee .

Avoid tou h i g y with cyour nlbows ian passi g on e e n n ,

an d do t s w i g yo u r ar m s as you walk
no n .

B car f u l w h
e walki g with or ar a lady t to
e en n ne ,
n o

p ut yo ur f oot upo h dr ss n er e .

I carryi g
n u mbr lla hold it so that you
n an e , c an s e e

t h w y cl ar b f or
e a you ; avoid striki g yo ur umbr ll
e e e n e a

agai st thos which p ass y ; if yo u walki g with

n e ou
‘

ar e n a

lady l t t h u mbr lla cov r h p r f ctly b u t hold it so

,
e e e e er e e ,

t hat y w ill ou t to u h h b o t If yo u hav t h

no c er nn e . e e

car f two ladi s l t th m carry t h umbr lla b tw

e o e , e e e e e ee n

th m d w alk ou t sid yo urs l f N othi g

e ,
an b m or e e . n c an e e

abs urd tha f a g tl m a to walk b tw t w ladi s

n or en e n e een o e ,

holdi g t h umbr lla him s lf ; w hil i this way h i

n e e e e, n ,
e s

p rf tly prot ct d th ladi s r c iv u po th ir dr ss s

e ec e e , e e e e e n e e e

an d loaks t h littl str ams f wat r which

c e f ro m
e e o e r un

t h poi ts f t h u mbr lla

e n o e e .

I cas of a sudd
n ef all of rai you may with p en n, , er
68 G EN TLE MEN S B OO K or E TIQU ETTE ’
.

f ect propri ty o ff r your u m b r lla to a lady who is

e , e e nu

provid d with e If h acc pts it d asks yo u

on e . s e e ,
a n r

a ddr ss to r t ur it l a i t with h if h h sitat s

e e n ,
e ve er s e e e ,

an d do s t wish to d priv
e no you of t h f it you e e e us e o ,

may o ff r to accom pa y h to h d sti atio

e d th n er er e n n , an en ,

do t p a co v rsat o ; l t your m a r h r sp ct
no O en n e i n e nn e e e e :

ful d wh you l av h l t h tha k y ass u r

,
a n en e e er , e er n ou , e
‘

h erof th pl asur it has giv you to b of rvic

e e e en e se e,

b w o ,
d l av h
a n e e er

I m ti g a l dy fri d w ait for h

n ee n to b ow t you
a en , er o ,

an d i r tur n g h al u tatio r mov your hat T

e ni n er S n, e e . o

a g tl m yo u may b w m r ly touchi g yo u r hat

en e an o , e e n ,

if h is alo or with a oth r g tl m a bu t if h h

e ne n e en e n e as

a lady with him rais yo r hat i bo w i g to him If ,

e u n n .

you stop to sp ak to a la dy hol d yo u r hat i yo ur ha d

e ,
n n ,

un til h l s
y eu l ss h r
e av e s qu sts you to r
o u, p l c it n e s e e e e a e .

With a g tl m a you m y r plac it i mm diat ly

en e n a e e e e .

N v r j m a lady who m y may m t without firs t

e e o ou ee ,

aski g h p rm ssio to do so
n er e i n .

If you st p to co v rs with o y i t h str nt e e an on e n e ee ,

st d ar t h ho u s that y m y t i t r f r with
an ne e es , ou a no n e e e

oth rs who
e pa si g ar e s n “

Yo u m y b w to a la dy who is s at d at a wi do w if
a o e e n ,

you i th
ar e str t ; b u t you mus t t b w from
n e ee no o a

Wi dow to a lady i t h str t

n n e ee .

Do t stop to joi a crowd who

no coll ct d rou d n ar e e e n

a str t sho w or str t m rcha t u l ss you w ish t

ee ,
ee e n , n e o

pass f a cou try m a taki g a holiday i t h city

or n n n n e .

If you stop y to q u ir yo u w
an w or i f
on e en e r o n ay ,

you call d u po to dir ct a oth r r mov your h t

ar e e n e n e , e e a

whil aski g or a s w r g t h q u stio

e n n e in e e n.
 E QU E E N H S RE 69
TI TT I T E T ET .

If yo u a lady l avi g a arri g u tt d d

see e n c a e na en e ,

or h sitat i g at a bad crossi g yo u m y w ith p

e n n ,
a ,
ro

p i t y
r e o ff r yo
,
u r ha d or m eto ss st h d n ar a i er , an

h mg s
av h sa f ly upo th pav m t b ow d pas
een er e n e e en , ,
an s

on .

In a c ar or o m ib u s wh a lady wish s to g t o u t
n ,
en e e ,

sto p t h e c ar f h or
p ass p h f
er , ar d i o m ib u su er e , an n an n

alight an d assist h i g tti g out bowi g as yo u l av

er n e n , n e e

he r .

Be g tl o urt ous d ki d to hildr

en e, c e Th r ,
a n n c en . e e

is s u r r tok f a l w vulgar m i d tha

no e en o ki d o ,
n ,
n un n

ne ss to littl o s w ho m yo u m y m t i t h str ts
e ne a ee n e ee .

A tr u g tl m a e v r stops to o sid r what m y b

en e n ne e c n e a e

t h p ositio
e f y w o m a w ho
n o m it is i
anhis p o w r to aid n n e

i t h str t
n e H w ill assist
ee . Irish wash rw o m a with
e an e n

her larg bask t or b u dl ov r a crossi g or arry o

e e n e e n , c ve r

th elittl harg s f a distr ss d gro urs w ith t h

e c e o e e ne n e, e

s m g tl ourt sy which h wo uld xt d toward th

a e en e c e e e en e

lady who was st ppi g f ro m h privat carriag Th e n er e e. e

tru pirit f hivalry m ak s t h co urt sy d to t h

e S o c e e e ue e s ex,

no t to t h positio f t h i divid u al
e n o e n .

Wh you en scorti g a lady i t h str t polit

ar e e n n e ee , e

ne ss do s t absol ut ly r q uir you to carry h bu dl

e no e e e er n e

or parasol b u t if you , galla t you will do so Y ar e n . ou

m ust r gulat yo u r walk by h rs d t forc h t

e e e ,
an no e er o

k p p w ith your or di ary pac

ee u n e.

Wat h that you do t l ad h i to y bad plac s

c no e er n an e ,

an d assist h car f ully ov r ach crossi g or w t pla c

er e e e n ,
e e

on th
p av m
e t e en .

If you walki g i th cou try d pass y

ar e n n e n ,
a n an
 70 GE N LE MEN S BOOK
T
'

OE E T QUE E
I TT .

tr a ml t o ff r your ha d to assis t your comp io i

s e e , e n an n n

crossi g n .

If yo u pass ov r a f c d h r f u s s yo u r assis e en e , an s e e e

ta i crossi g it walk f o w ar d
n ce n d do t look ba k
n
, r , an no c ,

u til h joi s you agai Th b st way to assist a lady

n s e n n . e e

ov r a f c is to sta d yo urs l f upo th up p r rail

e en e, n e n e e ,

an d whil usi g ha d to k p a st ady positio

e n on e n ee e n
,

stoop fl h t h oth r d with fi m st ady grasp

, o
'

er er e e , an a r ,
e ,

hold h ha d u til h sta ds b sid yo u ; th l t h

er n n s e n e e en e er

go dow t h oth r d fir t d f ollow h wh h

n on e e Si e s , an er en s e

is sa f upo t h gro u d e n e n .

I s t arti g f a walk with a lady u l ss h i '

n n or ,
n e s e s a

s tra g r i t h pla c towards who m you act as guid

n e n e e e,

l t h
e s l ct yo u r d sti atio
er e e e n n.

Wh r th r s v ral ladi s d you

e e r qu ir d
e e ar e e e e , an ar e e e

to s orte c of th m s l ct th ld rly or thos whos

on e e ,
e e e e e , e e

p rso al app ara c will probably m ak th m l ast lik ly

e n e n e e e e e

t b soug ht b y oth rs
o e You will probably b r paid b y e . e e

fi di g th m v ry i t llig t d with a fu d f co v r
n n e e n e en ,
a n n o n e

s atio If th r n . mor ladi s tha g tl m y e e ar e e e n en e en , ou

may fi o m to two with so m j st about t h diffi

er an ar , “
e e e

culty of choosi g or th doubl eho or you j oy n , e n en .

Ofi your s at i
’

er
y public co v ya c to a l ady
e n an n e n e,

who is sta di g It is oft quit as gr at a ki d s s

n n . en e e n ne

an d m ark f co u rt sy to tak a child i your lap

o e e n .

Wh with a lady you m u st pay h x p s s as w l l

en er e en e e

as your w if h o ff rs to shar t h p s d cli

o n s e e e e ex en e, e ne

u l ss h sists upo it i t h l att r as yi ld grac

n e s e in n ,
n e e c e e e

fully M a y ladi s who hav

. broth r or f ath r a d
n e , e no e e , n

ar e d p d t po th ir g tl m f ri ds f scort
e en en u n e en e en en or e ,

mak it rul t b u d r
e a p cu iary b ligat o s t
e o e n e no e n o i n o
 E QU E E
TI TT IN T HE ST REE T . 71

th m d you will i s u ch a cas o ff d m or by l

e ,
a n ,
n e, en e n

i sisti g upo yo ur right to tak that p s tha by

n n n e ex en e, n

q ui tly po k ti g yo u r dig ity d th ir ash tog th r

e c e n n an e c e e .

I k o w m a y g tl m will cry out at m y ass rtio ;

n n en e en e n

bu t I hav obs rv d this m att r e d k ow m a y l li

e e e , an n n a c cs

who will si c r ly agr with m i my Opi io

, n e e ee e n n n .

I a c rriag always giv t h back s at to t h lady

n a e e e e e

or ladi s acco mpa yi g you If you hav b u t

e nl dy n . e on e a

with yo u tak t h s at Opposit to h u l s h i vit s

,
e e e e er , n e s s e n e

yo u to sit b sid h i which cas acc pt h o d r

e e er , n e e er
’

e .

N r p u t your m across th s at or aro u d h

ev e ar e e ,
n er ,

as m a y do i r di g It is im p rti c
n n id if h n . an e n en e , an s e

is lady f r fi m t h w ill r s t it as s u ch
a o e ne en , s e e en .

If
y fi a s at
ou o i your carriag to a lady or
er e n e ,
an o

th r g
e tl m a who m yo u m y m t at a party or pic ic
en e n a ee n ,

tak th m ho m b f or yo u dri to yo u r W d sti a

e e e, e e ve O n e n

t io n, no m att r how m u ch you m y hav to driv out of

e a e e

yo u r w way o n .

B t h last to
e t r th carriag th first to l av it
e en e e e, e e e .

If you hav ladi s with yo u o ff r th m your ha d to

e e ,
e e n

assist th m i t ri g d alighti g d you should

e n en e n an n ,
an

tak th m f old g tl ma to a sist him

e e ar o an en e n s .

If o ff r d a s at i t h carriag
e e f a g tl m a fri d
e n e e o en e n en ,

sta d asid for him to g t i first but if h waits f

n e e n , e or

yo u bow d tak yo ur s at b f or h do s
,
an e e e e e e .

t d i i g a lad y i a tw s at d v hi l y
en r v n n o -
e e e c e, ou

sho uld a sist h t t th r i ag

s tha t h d ss
er o en er e ca r e, s ee er re

is t i d g r f to u hi g t h w h l
no n an ed tha t h
o c n e e e s, an er

shawl parasol d f, wh r h , r a h th m
an an , ar e e e s e c an e c e ,

b f or you tak y ur w s at If h w ish s to stop

e e e o o n e . s e e ,

an d you r m ai with t h hors s y

e should alight b f or
n e e , ou e e
72 G E N LEMEN S BOO K OF
T
’
ETI OUETTE .

s he do
assist h es , alighti g d agai alight t er ,
in n ,
an n o

h lp h
e to h s at w h h r t u r s v if you k p
er er e en s e e n , e en ee

your p l ac t h s at w hilst h is go
e on e e S e ne.

Wh att di g la dy a hors back rid

en en n vr a . in . e -
e, n e e

mou t your hors u til h is r ady to start G i h

n e n s e e . ve er

your ha d to assist h i m ou ti g arra g t h f old

n er n n n , n e e s

of h ha bit ha d h h r i s d h whip d th
er ,
n er er e n an er ,
a n en

tak your w s at your saddl

e o n e on e.

L t h pac b yours S tart wh h do s d l t

e er e e . en s e e ,
an e

h erd cid how fas t or slo wly h will rid N v r l t

e e s e e . e e e

t h h ad of your hors pass t h should rs of h rs

e e d b e e e e ,
a n e

w atchful d r ady t r d r h r
an
y assista e h may o en e e an nc e s e

re q uir e .

N v r b y rapid ridi g forc h to rid fast r tha

e e , n ,
e er e e n

s h m y d ir
e a es e .

N v r touch h bridl r i s or whip xc pt h par

e e er e, e n , ,
e e s e

t i l ly r qu sts yo u r assista c
c u ar e or accid t
e n e, an e n , or

t hr at ed da g r m ak s it c ssary
en e n e ,
e ne e .

If th r is d u st or wi d rid so as t prot ct h fro m

e e n , e o e er

it as far as possibl e.

If th road is m uddy b car ful that you do t rid

e e e no e

so as to b spat t r h habit It is b s t to rid

e e th er . e e on e

s id away f ro m that po which h habit f alls S o m

e u n er . e

l adi s cha g th ir sid i ridi g f ro m ti m to ti m

e n e e d e n n , e e , an

you m u st w atch d u po whi h id t h skirt f alls an see n c S e e ,

t hat a m u ddy d y y m y avoid f avori g t h habi t

,
o n a , ou a n e

with t h m d yo ur hors s hoo f s throw p

e u e
’
u .

If yo u rid with a g tl m a old r tha yo u rs l f

e en e n e n e ,
o r

on e who claim s your r sp ct l t him m o u t b f or y e e , e n e e ou

do E xt d t h sam court sy towards y g tl ma

. en e e e an en e n
74 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
OE E IQUE TTE
T .

He ill t t ak th ro w of th caus way to him l f

w no e
‘
e c n e e
’
se ,

b ut r adily fall i with t he co v

e t custo m which
n n eni en ne

c es s it y has provid d d walk th right sid f th

e , an on e e o e

path l avi g t h l f t id fr for thos who walki g

,
e n e e s e ee e ar e n

i t h Opposit dir ctio

n e A y d partur f ro m th s
e e n. n e e e e

pl i rul s f good b r di g is dow righ t rud ss d

a n e o ee n n en e an

i sult ; or t all v ts it b etrays gr at ig ora c or

n ,
a e en , e n n e

disr gard for propri ty A d y t how oft

e th y
e . n e , en ar e e

d part d fro m ! It i b y
e e m a s co mmo p s, no e n , un n , eS e

i lly i
c a cou try plac s for group of worki g m to
n n e , s n en

o bstruct t h path w ay upo which th y tak a fa y t

e n e e nc
'

l ou g witho u t
n e,
y d fi it obj ct as f an as app ars e n e e ,
ar e ,

b ut that of maki g rud r m arks upo pass rs by B ut n e e n e -

.

it is t o ly th lab ori g class s of soci ety who o ff d

no n e n e en

a gai st good b r di g this w y ; too m a y oth rs f

n ee n in a n e o

f d i t h sam
en h d by stoppi g to talk i t h middl
e e , an n n e e

f t h pav m t put all who pass t gr at i co v c ”

o e e en o e n n en i e n e .

I m ti g a lady do
n ee t o ff r to shak
n ha ds with no e e n

h er ,b ut acc pt h ha d wh h ff
e it for you t
er n en s e o ers o

t ak e
“I F ra c wh r polit
n ss i fou d i v ry las
n e, e e en e s n n e e c s,

t h p opl do
e e t agai st ach oth r i t h str ts
e no r un n e e n e ee ,

n or b rush rud ly b y ach oth r as th y so m tim s do i

e e e , e e e n

o ur citi s It adds much to th pl asur f walki g t

e . e e e o n , o

b fre from such a oya c ; d this

ee o ly b nn n e an c an n e

b rought about by t h f w s tti g a good x e e e n ,

e

a m pl to t h m a y
e g ye wits nabo u t yo
. u in
‘

ou r ,

yo u W yo ur w y th o ugh a thro g d str t witho u t

can in a r n e ee

t li g v
ou c i n g t h xtr
fl
m ecirc
v
u m
en f r c f ea b alloo
e e e e en e o n

Sl eev ; nd if ach
e a trov to void ll co t ct i t
,
e one s e a a n a ,

wo l d b sily ccomp l ish d ”

u e ea a e .
 E QU E E
TI TT F OR CA LL N G I .

C HAP TE R V .

QU ETI ALL N G E TTE F OR C I .

A GE N LEM AN i soci ty m u st calc u lat to giv a

T n e e e c er

tai portio f his tim to m aki g calls upo his f ri ds

n n o e n n en

both ladi s d g tl m e an H m y xt d hi visiti g

en e en . e a e en s n

list to s larg a umb r as his i cli atio d tim will

a e n e n n n an e

p r mit him to att d to b u t h ca ot co tract it af t

e en , e nn n er

passi g c rtai li mits His positio as a m i soci ty

n e n . n an n e

oblig s him to all

e c ,

U po y stra
n an g r visiti g
n hi ecity who b ri
n gs a l st ,
n e

ter o f i trodu tio to him

n c n

Up o y n f ri
an d f ro m a enoth r city to whosn hospi e , e

tali ty h has b at y ti m i d bt d ;
e e en an e n e e

Up o y g
n an tl m a a
en f t r r ec ivi g
n f rom his
e h ds
e e n an a

f avor or co u rt sy ; e

Up o his host t
n
y di ar or ans u pp r party nn e
(such e ,

calls should b mad v ry soo aft r th t rtai m t

e e e n e e en e n en

giv ); en

Upo y n fri
an d whos enjoy or gri f calls
e f e or an

ex p r ssioe f sy
n om p athy wh th r i b co ,
grat u latio
e e or t e n n

co dol
n en c e

Up y f ri
o n an d who has
en lat ly r tur d f ro m a voy
e e ne

a
g lo
e or g jour n .
y ; ne

Upo y n lady
an who has acc pt d his s rvic s e e e e as an
76 G E N TLEMEN S BOOK OF E IQUE E ’
T TT .

e scort ith r f a jour ey or th r tur fro m a b all

, e e or n e e n or

e v i g party ; this call m u st b mad th day af t r h

en n e e e e e

has th u s scor t d t h l ady ; e e e

U po his host ss a f t r
n
y party toe w h i h h eh an c e as

b e en i vit d wh th r h has acc pt d or d cli d such

n e ,
e e e e e e ne

i vitatio
n n ,

Upo a y lady who has acc pt d his scort f

n n e e e or an

e v i g a walk or a driv ;
en n ,
e

U po y f ri n d whom
an l o g or s v
en r ill ss k p n e e e ne ee s

co fi d to t h hous ;
n ne e e

Upo his lady fri d n N w Y ar s day (if it is t h

en s on e e
’

, e

cus t o m of t h city i which h r esi d s e n e e

Upo y of nhis fri

an ds wh th y r c iv b rida
en l en e e e e

calls v

U po lady fri ds i n y c i ty you en i i t i n

gy if
an ar e v s n

g tl m f ri d r sid i t h sa m city you m y

en e en en s e e n e e , a

ith r call upo t h m s d yo u r card wit h your d

’

e e n e or en a

dr ss d t h l gt h of tim you i t d stayi g writt

e an e en e n en n ,
en

u po it ; if stra g r or f ri d visiti g your ity s d

n a n e en n c en s

su h a card you m u st call at t h arli st opport u ity ;

c ,
e e e n

U po y nof whoan m you w ish

on e to k a f avor ; t as o

mak him u d r s u h circum sta c s call upo you i

e ,
n e c n e n
,
s

ex tr m ly r u d
e e e

U po y n w h anhas ask d a
on e favor f you
o ; y e o ou

w ill add v y m u h to t h pl a u r you co f r i gra t

er c e e s e n e ,
n n

in
g a f avor by alli g to pr
,
ss th c gratific n tio i t ex e e a n

a ff d yo u to b
or s abl to oblig yo u r f ri d ; yo u w il l
e e e en

so f t th pa f a r f u sal if by alli g d pr ss
en e in o e , ,
c n ,
a n ex e

in
g your r gr t yo u sho wethat yo u
e ,f l i t r st d i t h ee n e e e n e

r q u st d co s d r it f i m porta c
e e ,
an n i e o n e .

U po i ti m at fri ds r lativ s
n n ed lad en
y m, y e e , an i es
, ou a
 E TI QUE E TT F OR C A LL NG I . 77

c all without waiti g f y f t h occasio s giv n or an o e n en

abo ve .

Do t f all i to th vulgar rror f d laimi g gai st

no n e e o ec n a n

t h pra tic e f m a k i g calls d lari g it a

e c o
“bor t ir n ec n e,
”
e
,

so m stupid Th c usto m is a good

e, or . e on e .

A E glish writ r says

n n e

Th visit or call is a m u h b tt r i stit u tio tha is

e c e e n n n

g rally s upp os d It has its draw ba ks It w ast s

ene e . c . e

mu h t m ; it
c ssitat s m u h s m all tal k It oblig s
i e n ece e c . e

on e to dr ss t h cha c f fi di g a f ri d at ho m ;
e on e n e o n n en e

b ut f all this it is al m ost th o ly m a s f m

or aki g e n e n o n an

acqu ai ta c ri p i to f ri dship I t h visit all t h

n n e en n en . n e ,
e

strai whi h g ral so i ty so m how

n, c ssitat s is
ene c e e n ece e ,

thro w ff A m r c iv s yo u i his roo m s cordially

n o . an e e e n
,

an d m a k s yo u w l o m e t to a sti ff di r but e c e, n o nne , an

e asy hair d co v rsatio A lady w h i t h ball

c an n e n. , o n e

roo m or party has b co m p ll d to limit h co v r e en e e er n e

satio h r sp ak m or f r ly Th talk
n, c an e e e e ee . e c an

d s d f ro m g raliti s to p rso al i q u iri s d d

e c en en e e e n n e , an n ee

I say that if yo u wish to k ow a yo u g lady tr uly you

,
n n ,

mu st h at ho m
see d by day light
er e , an
‘
.

“Th m ai poi ts to b obs rv d abo u t visits

e n th
n e e e a r e e
,

pro p r oc asio s d t h prop r hou rs N w b t w

e c n an e e . o ,
e e en

a tual f ri ds th r is li ttl
c en d f tiqu tt i th s e e e n ee o e e e n e e

r s p cts A f ri dly visit m y b m ad at y tim

e e . en a e e an e, on

an
y o casio Trcu you m or
n w. l o m w h t h e, ar e e e c e en e

b usi ss f th day is ov r i t h af t r oo rath r tha

ne o e e , n e e n n e n

i t h m or i g
n e d yo u m u st v as a f ri d avoid
n n ,
an ,
e en en ,

calli g at m al tim s B t
n th eoth r ha d m a y e . u , on e e n ,
n

p opl r iv visits i t h v i g d c rtai ly this is

e e ece e n e e en n ,
a n e n

t h b st tim to m ak th m
”
e e e e e .
78 G EN TLEMEN S BOO K ’
OE E TIQUE TTE .

firs t call which y ou r c v must b tur d

An y e ei e e re ne

pro mptly If you do t wish to co ti u th q i

. no n n e e ac ua n

ta c n
y farth
e r youan d t r tur a s co d call e , n ee no e n e n ,

b t polit
u ss imp rativ ly d m a ds
en e tur of t h firs t e e e n a re n e

on e

Acall may b mad upo ladi s i th mor i g r e e n e n e n n o

aft r oo ; b ut i thi cou try wh r almost v ry m

e n n n s n ,
e e e e an

has so m b usi ss to occ u py his day t h v i g is t h

e ne , e e en n e

b st tim f pay g calls You will gai grou d i

e e or in . n n n

e asy i t cours d fri dly acqua ta c mor rapidly

n er e an en in n e e

in on e e v g tha i s v ral m or i g calls

e ni n ,
n n e e n n ;

N v r m ak a call upo a lady b f or l v o clock

e e e n e e e e en
’

in t h m or i g or aft r i
e i thn n v i g , e n ne n
f

e e en n .

Avoid m al tim s If y i d t tly call at di

e e . ou x
na ver e n n

n er or t tim d your host is thus forc d to i vit

ea e, an e n e

you t th tabl it is b st to d cli t h civility If

o e e, ,
e e ne e .
, ,

how v r y e e ,that you will giv pl asur by stayi g

ou s e e
‘
e e e n ,

a cc pt t h i vitatio b ut b car ful t avoid calli g

e e n n, e e o n

agai at t h m h
n e sa e ou r .

N o m i t h U it d S tat s xc pti g His E xc l

an n e n e e , e e n e

len c
y t h P r
, sid t exp c t to r c iv
e calls u l se n , c an e e e e e n e s

h r t u r s th m
e e n e .

“V isiti g n
“
say a F r ch writ r for m s t h cord
”
s en e , e
,

which bi d soci ty tog th r d it is so firmly ti d

n s e e e , an e ,

that w r th k ot s v r d soci ty would p rish

e e e n e e e ,
e e .

A c r m o io u s call should
e e v r xt d ov r m or
n ne e e en e e

tha fift mi ut s d it should t b l ss tha t

n e en n e , an no e e n en

mi ut s n e .

If yo u t h m as t r of t he ho u s tak
s ee l tt rs or
e e e e e e a

pap r f rom his pock t look t th clo k hav

e abs t e , a e c ,
e an en

i b a t ti m with hi fi g r or ha ds or i
a r
, e e y oth r s n e s n , n an e
 E QU E E FOR
TI TT CA LL N GI . 79

w ay sho w w ari ss or i you m y sa f ly co cl u d

e ne en n u , a e n e

that it is tim f yo u to l av tho ugh y m y t e or e e, ou a no

hav b fi m i ut s i t h ho u s If yo u host to
e een ve n e n e e. ar e

t h m ost w ariso m visitor

e e ist c if h stays ho urs e i n ex en e, e ,

an d co v rs s o n lyn e subj cts which do t i t r st

e on e no n e e

yo u i t h l ast ; u l ss h is k pi g you f ro m
,
n e e n e e ee n an

i mporta t gag m t you m st t sho w t h l as t

n en e en ,
u no e e

sig of w ari ss L ist to him polit ly d a

n e ne . en e ,
en e

vor to t rtai him d pr s rv a s mili g co mpo

en e n ,
a n e e e n

s ur though y m y lo g to ho w him t h door I

e, ou a n S e . n

cas h is k epi g you f ro m busi ss f imp orta c or

e e e n ne o n e,

an im p rativ gag m t yo u m y without y i

e e en e en , a , an h

f i g m t
r n epo t h laws f polit ss i f orm him of
en u n e o en e ,
n

t h f act
e d b g him to x c u s you ; you m u st h w
,
a n e e e , o

e v r xpr ss polit r gr t t your f orc d wa t f hos

e , e e e e e a en e n o

p it lai t y d i vit h,
i m
an to call agai n e n.

It is quit art to mak a grac f ul xit a f t r a call

e an e e e e .

T k o w how to choos t h m o m t w h
o n you will b e e en en e

r gr tt d d t r tir l avi g your f ri ds a xious f

e e e ,
a n o e e e n en n or

a r p titio f t h call is acco mplish m t worth

e e n o e ,
an en ao

qu iri g n .

Wh you b gi to tir f your visit you m y g

”

en e n e o , a ene

rally f l s ur that your t rtai rs tir d f yo u d

ee e en e ne ar e e o ,
a n

if yo u do t wa t t r m ai pri t d u p o th ir mem ory

no n o e n n e n e
“
as th m who m k s s u ch lo g tir so m calls you
e an a e n e e
”
, ,

will r tir e e .

If oth r call rs co m i b f or yo u l av a f ri d
e e e n e e e e en
’
s

parlor do t ris i m m diat ly as if you wish d to avoid

, no e e e e

th m b ut r m ai s at d a f w m o m ts d th l av
e , e n e e e en ,
a n en e e,

that yo ur host ss m y t hav too m a y isitor to e a no e n v s

en e t r tai at ti m n on e e .
80 G EN TLEMEN S BOO K ’
or E IQUE T E
T T .

If you hav b joyi g a i t r m w with

e een en n —
t é te d tete
‘
-
n e e
!

a la dy d oth r call rs co m i do t hurry a w ay

, an e e e n, no ,

as if d t t d i a cri m but a f t r a f w court o u s gra

e ec e n e, e e e ,
ce

f l words
u d th i t rcha g f so m pl asa t r m arks
,
an e n e n e o e e n e ,

l av h to t rtai h oth r f ri ds
e e er en e n er e en .

T o en e
“
d avor wh m ak g a call t o it out oth r en in s e s

i t h roo m
n e v ry rud ,
i s e e .

Wh your host or host ss urg you to stay lo g r

en e es n e ,

a ft y
er hav ris to go
ou b sur that that eis t h b s t en , e e e e

ti m f d partur
e or You will do b tt to go th
e e . e er en ,

wh you will b r gr tt d tha to wait u til you hav

en e e e e , n n e

Wor yo u r w lco m out

n e e .

Wh m aki g visit of co dol c t ak your to

en n a n en e, e ne

fro m your host or host ss If th y sp ak of th ir mis e . e e e

fortu i cas of d ath of th d part d r lativ

n e , or
,
n e e ,
e e e e e,

joi th m S p ak of t h tal ts or virtu s of t h d

n e . e e en e e e

c as d d your sy mpathy with th ir loss If t h

e e ,
a n e .
,
o n e

o th r ha d th y avoid th subj ct th it is b st for

e n ,
e e e ,
en e

you to avoid i t too Th y may f l th ir i a b ility t . e ee e n o

s ustai a co v rsatio upo the subj ct of th ir r c t

n n e n n e e e en

afflictio d i t would t h
n , anb cru l to forc it upo en e e e n

th m If you that t h y maki g ’

e . fi t p s ee e ar e n an e or , er

haps pai f l a to app ar ch rful try to mak th m

n u on e , e ee ,
e e

forg t for t h ti m th ir sorrows d chat ch r f ul

e e e e ,
a n on ee

s ubj cts At th sam tim avoid j sti g m rrim t

e . e e e, , e n ,
e en ,

or u d u l vity it will b out f plac

n e e d app ar
, a s e o e, an e

h artl ss
e e .

A visit of co gratulatio should th o trary b

n n, ,
o n e c n , e

ch r f l gay d j oyous H r pai ful su bj cts wo uld

ee u , , a n . e e, n e

b o u t f plac
e Do t mar th happi ss of your fri d
o e . no e ne en

by th d s criptio f th mis ry of your w positio

e e n o e e o n n or
 82 GEN TLEMEN S B OOK OF ’
E TI QUE TTE .

“
t ak a s at u til th y vit you to do so or b y mot o
e e n e in e ,
a i n,

an d th m s lv s sitti g d ow
e e how that th y xp ct you
e n n S e e e

to do t h sa m e e .

K p your hat i y ur ha d wh maki g call

ee n o n en n a .

This will s how your host that you do t i t d to no n en re

m ai nto di or sup with him You may l av

ne um . e e an

b r lla or ca i t h hall if you wish b ut your hat d

e ne n e , an

glo s you m us t carry i to t h parlor I mak g

ve n e . n in an

e v i g call for t h first tim k p your hat d glov

en n e e ee an es

i yo u r ha d u til t h ho t or host ss r q u sts you t

n n ,
n e s e e e o

l ay th m asid e d sp d t h v i g e an en e e en n .

Wh goi g to sp d t h v i g with a fri d who m

en n en e e en n en

you visit O f t l av you r hat glov s d gr at coat

en , e e , e , an e i ii .

t h hall
e .

If , ot ri g a parlor f a lady fri d i th v

n e n e n o en , n e e en

i g you
n ,
b y h dr ss or y oth r tok e that h
s ee er e , an e n, s e

was xp cti g t go to t h op ra co c rt or
e e n o v ni g e e ,
n e ,
an e e n

party m ak a call of f w mi ut o ly d th
,
e a e n es n ,
an en re

t ir e . I hav k ow m who acc pt d i sta tly t h i

e n n en e e n n e n

v it t i
a giv th m to r m ai
on en d r th s circum sta c s
e e n un e e e n e ,

an d d priv th r fri ds of
e e a ticipat ed pl asur
ei en an n e e,

wh th ir call co uld hav b m ad at y oth r tim

en e e een e an e e .

T thus i m pos
o po t h court sy of your fri ds is x
e u n e e en e

i ly rud
c e s s ve N othi g will pardo s u h acc pta c
e . n n c an e n e

but th mposs bility of r p ati g your call owi g to

e i i e e n ,
n a

short stay i tow or y oth r ca u s E v i thi s

n n
,
an e e . en n

cas it is b tt r to cco mpa y yo u r f ri ds po th r

e e e a n en u n ei

e xp di tioe ar h f pl asur Yo u
n in of co u rs e
se c o e e. c an , ,

e asily obtai d mit t a c if th y n goi g to a p ublic

a n e e ar e n

en e t rtai m t d if th y i vit you to joi th r party

n en , an e n e n ei

t o a f i d h ou y may withou t impropr ty do

r en
’
s se , ou ie s o,
 E QUE E
TI TT F OR CA LL N G I : 88

as a la dy is privil g d to i trodu yo u to h f ri d u d r
e e n ce er en s n e

s u h irc um sta s It r q uir s ta t d dis r tio to

c c nce . e e c an c e n

k o w wh to a pt d wh to d cli s u h i w t
n en cce an en e ne c an n a

t io B
n. ar f u l that yo
e c u do e t i tr u d u p o a p arty no n e n

alr ady co mpl t i th ms lv s or that you do t i

e e e n e e e , no n

t f
er er e with th pla s f th g tl m who hav l e n o e en e en e a

r ady b acc pt d as scorts

e een e e e .

N v r m ak e e thi d u p o s u ch occasio s N ith r

e a r n n . e e

on e o f a o u pl who propos sp di g t h
c e v i g abroad e en n e e en n

tog th r will tha k t h i tr u d r who poils th ir t et a

e e , n e n e S e e -

t et e .

Wh yo u fi d en t ri g a roo m that yo u r visit i

n ,
o n e n e n ,
s

for y r aso i op port u do t i sta tly r tir u l

an e n n n e, no n n e e n es s

y ou hav t r d u p rc iv
e en e e d d so l av
n i which
e e e an c an e e, n

cas l av imm diat ly ; if how v r you hav b s

e e e e e ,
e e , e e en een ,

yo ur i t i t r tr at is c u t ff Th
n s ai e ed avor by you o . en en e r

o w grac f u l as to cov r y mbarrass m t you

n e e e e an e en r en

tra c m y hav caus d m ak b u t a short call d if

n e a e e , e ,
a n ,

you l av your f ri ds u d r t h impr ssio that

c an , e e en n e e e n

you w othi g o u t of t h way wh yo u t r d

sa n n e en en e e .

Al w ays l av a card wh y
e fi
e d t h p rso upo en ou n e e n n

who m you hav all d abs t f ro m hom e c e en e .

A ard sho uld hav

c othi g writt po it but you e n n en u n , r

n am d addr ss T l av a card with yo u r b u si s

e an e . o e e ne s

addr ss or t h atur f your pro f ssio writt u p o

e , e n e o e n en n

it sho w s a shocki g ig ora c f polit o ty Bu si

,
n n n e o e s ci e .

ne ss ards c v r to b us d xc pti g wh y
ar e ne e e e e e n en ou

mak a busi ss call

e ne .

Nvr e a card that is or a m t d i

e us e
y w y n en e n an a
,

wh th r by a f a cy bord r pai t d cor rs or m

e e n e , n e ne ,
e

b ossi g L t it b p r f ctly plai ti t d if you lik

n . e e e e n, n e
,
e,
84 GEN LEMEN S B OOK OF E IQUE TE
T
’
T T .

in color b ut without or am t d hav your am

,
n en , an e n e

writt or pri t d i t h middl your addr ss i s m all

en n e n e e, e , n er

charact rs t h low r l ft ha d cor r M a y g tl

e ,
i n e e e n ne . n en e

m o m it t h M po th r cards writi g m r ly th i
en e r . u n ei ,
n e e e r

C hristia d sur am ; th s
n an a matt r f tast youn e i is e o e,

may f ollow your w i cli atio L t your card b o n n n n. e e

writt thus en

HENR Y C P RAT . T.

N o 2 1 7 L str t
. . ee .

A phys c a will put Dr b for or M D aft r th

i i n . e e . . e e

n am d
e , an fi i t h ar m y or avy m y add hi
an o c er n e n a s

t i t l ; bu t for m iliti
e fi to do so is absurd a o cer s .

If you call po a lady who i vit s yo u to b s at d

u n ,
n e e e e ,

plac a chair for h

e d wait u til h tak s it b for
e r , an n s e e e e

you sit dow y ours lf n e .

N v r sit b sid e a lady upo a sofa or a chair v ry

e e e n ,
on e

ne ar h w u l ss h i vit s you t do so
er o n, n e s e n e o .

If lady t rs t h room wh r you

a en e m aki g e e e ar e n a

call ris ,
d r m ai st a di g u til h is s at d
e, an e nEv n n n s e e e . en

if h is a p rf ct s tra g r o ff r h a chair if th r
s e e e n e , e er , e e is

n o ne ne ar h er .

You must ris if a lady l av s t h room d r m ai

e e e e ,
an e n

s ta di g u til h has p ss d out

n n n s e a e .

If you gag d i y prof ssio which you follo w

ar e e n e n an e n

a t ho m d r c iv a call r you m y duri g t h day

e , an e e e e , a ,
n e

ti m i vit him i to your library study t h room i

e, n e n
, , or e n

w hich you work d u l ss you your p y may

,
a n , n e use en , ou

work whil h is with you e e .

Wh you r c iv a visitor m t him at th door o ff r

en e e e , ee e ,
e

a chair t ak hi h t d ca
, e d whil
s p ki g of
a an n e , an , e s ea n
 E QU E E
TI TT F OR C A LL NG I . 85

t he pl asur th call af f ords yo u ho w by your m a r

e e e , S , nn e ,

that yo u si c r d d sir a lo g all

ar e n e e, an e e n c .

Do t l t yo u r host co m with yo u y f arth r tha

no e e an e n

t h roo m door if h
e has oth r visitors ; b u t i f yo u e e e ar

sho w i g o ut a f ri e d d l av
n oth rs i t h parlor
n ,
an e e no e n e ,

yo u sho uld co m to t h str t door e e ee .

A f w hi ts f ro m
e E glish a uthor will t b a mis
n an n ,
no e s

i this plac
n H says e . e
“V isits f co dol c d co grat u latio
o m u st b
n en e an n n e

mad abo u t a w k af t r t h v t If yo u i tim at

e ee e e e en . ar e n e

wit h t h p rso ew ho m y e call yo u m y ask i t h

n on ou ,
a , n e

first as f admissio ; if t it is b tt r o ly to l av
c e , or n no , e e n e e

a card d m ak y o u r k i d qu ri s f t h s rva t
,
a n e
‘
n in i e
’
o e e n ,

who g rally pr m d i what m a r to a s w r

is en e i e n nne n e

th m I isits f co grat ulati o yo u sho uld al w a ys go

e . n v o n n

in , an d b h arty i yo u r o grat u latio s

e e Visits f n c n n . o

co dol cn t rribl i fii ti to both r c iv r d

en e ar e e e n c on s e e e an

giv r b ut th y m y b mad l ss so by avoidi g as

e , e a e e e n ,

much as o sist t w ith sy mp athy y allu sio to th

c n en ,
a n n e

past Th r c iv r do s w ll to abstai from t ars A

. e e e e e e n e .

lady of my acq u ai ta c who had lost h hu sba d w n n e, er n ,

as

r c ivi g s u h a visit i h b st cra p S h w pt p

e e n c n er e e. e e ro

fus e ly f so m ti m upo t h b st f broad h mm d

or e e n e e o -
e e

c a mbric ha dk rchi f s d th t ur i g to h visitor

n e e ,
a n en n n er ,

said I m s ur yo u will b glad to h ar that M r B

: a e e e . .

h as l f t m m ost co m f ortably provid d f

e e E i ll e or.
’
ri c ce

la cr
y m P rhaps oeth .y w o u ld hav
e b m or si r e e e en e nce e

i f h had l f t h
e witho u t p y A t t h sam tim
e er a en n . e e e,

i f yo u hav t sy m p athy d h art

e no o u gh to p mp p an e en u u

a littl co dol e you w ill do b tt r to avoid it b u t

n en c e , e e ,

tak car that your co v rsatio is t too gay What

e e n e n no .
86 G EN TLE MEN S B OO K or ’
ETI QUE TTE .

e v r you m y f l you must r sp c t th orrow of

e a ee , e e e s s ,

o t h rs e .

O marriag cards
n s t rou d to such p opl
e, ar e en n e e as

you wish to k p a m o g yo ur ac q uai ta c a d it is th

ee n n n e, n en

t h ir part to call first

e th you g coupl wh withi on e n e, en n

dista c n e .

Havi g t r d th hous you tak up with you t

n en e e e e, e o

t h drawi g room b oth hat

e n d ca -
bu t l av um an n e, e e an

b r lla i t h hall I F ra c it is usual to l av

e n e . n n e e e a

gr at coat dow sta rs also b ut calls e m d i thi

e -
n i
, as ar a e n s

co u try m or i g dr ss it is t c ssary to do so
n in n n e ,
no ne e .

“It is t usual to i troduc no p opl at mor i g call n e e e n n s

in larg to w s ; i th cou try it is so m ti m s do

e n nt e n e e n e, no

a lways Th law of i troductio s is i f act to f orc

. e n n ,
n , e

no on e i to acquai ta c You sho uld th r f or a

n an n n e .
,
e e e, s

c rtai b for ha d wh th r it is gr abl to b o th to b

e n e e n e e a ee e e

i troduc d ; b t if a lady or a s up rior xpr ss s a wish

n e u e e e e

t k ow a g
o n tl m or i f rior t h latt r two hav
en e an an n e ,
e e e

no right to d cli t h ho or Th i trod u ctio of

e ne e n . e n n is an

i f rior [
n e which pos mo a g tl m a always holds to n en e n a

lady! to t h sup rior You i troduc M r S mith to M rs

e e . n e . .

Jo es or M r A to L ord B t w
n ,
. I i tro
.
,
n o o e ver s a . n n

d i g two p rso s it is
uc n t c ssary to l ad
e n of ,
no ne e e on e

t h m up by th ha d b ut it is su ffici
e t simply to p
e n ,
en re

c d th m H m g thus bro u ght t h p rso to b i tro

e e e . av e e n e n

d uce d u p to t h to who m h is to b pr s t d it i
e on e e e e en e , s

t h custo m
e v w h t h co s t has b pr viously
,
e en en e n en een e

o bta d to say with a slight bow to t h s up rior p

ine , , ,
e e er

son a g Will
e : you allo w m ‘
to i trod c M r e n u e .

Th p rso addr ss d
e e pli s by b owi g to th
n e i tro e r e e n e on e n

d u ced who also b ows at t h sam ti m whil t h i tro

,
e e e, e e n
 E QU E E
TI TT F OR CA LL N G I . 7

du r r p ats th i am s d th r tir s l a i g th m
oe e e e r n e ,
a n en e e , e v n e

to co v rs Thu s f i sta
n e e . i pr s ti g M r , or n n ce, n e en n .

Jo to M rs S mith you will say M rs Smi th allo w

n es .
, ,
.
,

m to i troduc M r Jo s d w hil th y ggd ’

e n e . ne , an e e ar e e n a e

i b wm g yo u wi ll m ur m u r
n o M r s S mith M Jo s — ,
‘
. r . ne ,
’

an d sc p e If you hav to pr s t thr

a e. or f o u r p e e en ee eo

p l to
e said M rs S m ith it will s u ff ic e to
. utt r th ir , e e re

s p t
ec i a mve nwithout r p ati g esthat f t h lady e e n o e .

“A w ll br d p rso always r c iv s visitors at what

e -
e e n e e e

e v r ti m th y may call or who v r th y m y b ; b u t

e e e ,
e e e a e

if yo u occ upi d d ca ot fi d to b i t rrupt d

ar e e an nn a br e n e e

b y a m r c r m o y you should i str u ct t h s rva t b

e e e e n , n e e n e

f or eh d to say
an that you t at ho m T his f or m ar e
‘
no e.
’

has o f t b d ou c d as a fals hood b ut a li is

en e en en n e e , e no

li u l ss i t d d to d c iv ;
e n e n en d si e t h w ords e e e an nce e ar e

un iv rsally u d rstood to m a that yo u

e n e gag d it e n ar e e n e ,

c an b harm to giv s u ch ord r to a s rva t But

e no e an e e n .
,

on t h oth r ha d i f t h
e e s rva t o c admits a visitor
n , e e n n e

withi t h hall yo u should r c iv him at

n e , y i i e e e an n c on ve n

en c to yours l f
e e .

H also giv s so m ad mirabl hi ts upo visits mad

e e e e n n e

t f ri
o ds i a oth r city or th cou try
en n n e e n .

H says e
“A f w words e visits to cou try hous s b f or I quit
on n e e e

this subj ct S i c a m a s hous is his castl

e . n e n
’
e e , n o on e ,

no t v e a ar r latio h a right to i vit him s l f to

en ne e n, as n e e

stay i it It is t o ly t aki g a lib rty to do so b u t

n . no n n e ,

may prov to b v ry i co v i t A g ral i vita

e e e n n en en . en e n

tio too sho uld v r b a t d

n, , It o f t giv
ne e e c e on . is en en

witho u t y i t tio f f ollo wi g it up ; but if giv

an n en n o n ,
en ,

s hould b tur d i to a sp cial

e ne soo r or lat r A
n e on e ne e . n
88 GEN LEME N S BOOK
T
’
or E QUE E
TI TT .

i vitatio should p cif y th p rso who m it i clud s ,

n n S e e e ns n e

an d t h p rso ei vit d sho uld v r pr sum to tak

e n n e ne e e e e

with him y “
t p cifi d
an If a g tl m a ca
on e no ot S e e . en e n nn

disp s wit h his val t h should w rit to ask l av t

en e e , e e e e o

b ri g a s rva t ; b u t t h m a s of your i vit r

n e n d th e e n n e , an e

siz of th hous should b tak i t o co sid ratio

e e e, d e en n n e n , an

it i b tt r tast to disp s with a s erva t altog th r

s e e e en e n e e .

Childr d hors s
en still m or troubl so m
an d e ar e e e e , an

sho ul d v r b tak without sp cial m tio m ad of

ne e e en e en n e

th m It is qually b ad tast to arriv with a wago

e . e e e n

ful of luggag as that is aturally tak as a hi t that

e, n en n

you t d to stay a lo g tim Th l gth f a cou

i n en n e . e en o n

t y visit is i d
r d a difi lt matt r to d cid but i t h
n ee cu e e e, n e

pr s t day p opl wh r c iv m u ch g rally sp ci f y

e en e e o e e e en e e

th l e gth i th ir i vitatio
en —
n pla which sav s a gr a t
e n n a n e e

d al of troubl
e d d oubt B ut a custom t so m
e an . no co

m dabl has lat ly com i of li miti g th visits of

en e e e n n e 3 0 -
7

q ua ta c to two t hr days This may b p d

in n e or ee . e ar ona

b l wh r t h gu st liv s at
e e e gr at dista c but i t i
e e e no e n e, s

pr post rous to xp ct a p rso t trav l lo g dista c

e e e e e n o e a n n e

for a stay f thr ights If ho w v r t h l gth b

o ee n .
,
e e , e en e

no t sp cifi d e d ca ot asily b discov r d a w k i

e ,
a n nn e e e e , ee s

th eli mit f cou try visit xc pt at t h hous f

or a n ,
e e e e o a

ne ar r lat o or v ry old fri d It will how v r sav

e i n e en .
, e e , e

t roubl t yours l f if soo

e o aft r your arrival you stat
e , ,
n e , e

that you “
com f a f w days
ar e d if your hoste or e
”
an
, ,

wish s you t mak lo g r visit h will at o c pr s

e o e a n e , e n e e s

you to do so .

Th ma poi t i cou try visit is to giv as littl

e in n n a n e e

troubl possibl to co f or m to t h habits of your

e as e, n e eu

t t i d
e r a n e r s , an v r t b i th way O this pr c
ne e o e n e . n in i
90 G E N TLEMEN S BOOK ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

b ut poo m should t b asham d fl i g him

'

a r an no e e o er n

s ilv r It m u st d p d t h l gth of th visit Th

e . e en on e en e . e

l adi s giv to t h f m al t h g tl m to t h m al
e e e e e, e en e en e e s er

a ts Would that I might my f ri ds without pay

v n . s ee en

in
g th m foreth ir h spit lity
e i t hi i
o dir ct ma
a r l n s n e n ne
”
 E QU E E
TI TT F OR T H E B ALL ROOM . 91

C HAP TE R VI .

QU H A L ROOM
E TI E T TE F OR T E B L .

O a ll t h a m us m ts op
F f e yo u g p opl o e en en or n e e, n ne

is m or d lightf ul d m or pop ular tha da i g L ord

e e an e n nc n .

Ch st rfi ld i his l tt rs to his
e e e n
“
says Da i g e e s on , : nc n
,

is i its l f a v ry trifli g d silly thi g ; b u t it is

,
n e , e n an n on e

o f thos stablish d f olli s to which p o pl of s s

e e e e e e e n e ar e

so m tim s oblig d to co f orm ; d th th y sho uld b

e e e n an en e e

abl to do it w ll A d tho ugh I w o uld t hav you

e e . n ,
no e

a da c r y t wh you do da c I wo uld hav you

n e , e , en n e, e

da w ll as I wo uld hav you do v rythi g you do

nce e , e e e n

w ll I a oth r l tt r h w rit s Do you mi d

e
”
n n
“ e e e e e : n
,
.

yo ur da i g whil your da i g m ast r is with yo u !

nc n e nc n e

A yo u will b o f t
s u d r th c ssity of d a ci g
e en n e e ne e n n at

mi u t I would hav yo u da c it v ry w ll
n e , R m mb r e n e e e . e e e

that th grac f l m otio f th arm s t h givi g f yo u r

e e u n o e , e n o

ha d d t h putti g ff d putti g
n ,
a n e f yo u r hat n o an n on o

g t lly
en ee t h m at rial p arts of a g
,
a r e tl m a s da
e e en e n
’
nc

i g
n Bu t t h gr at st adva tag of da c g w ll is
. e e e n e n in e ,

that it c ssarily t a h s you to pr s t yo u rs lf to sit

ne e e c e e en e , ,

s ta d d walk g t lly ; all f which

n ,
a n f r al i m en ee o ar e o e

porta to a m f f ashio
n ce an o n .

Altho u gh t h days ov r w h g tl m carri d

e ar e e en en e en e

th ir hats i to ball rooms d da c d mi u ts th r

e n an n e n e , e e ar e
92 G NTE LEMEN S BOOK ’
or E QUE
TI TTE .

us f l hi ts i t h quotatio s giv abov N othi g

e u n n e n en e . n

W ll g v
l as of ma r d a grac f ul c rriag to
i e e e nn e an e a e a

g tl m a m or sur ly tha t h k owl dg f da ci g

en e n e e n e n e e o n n .

H will i its p rac t i

e acq u ir asy m otio a light st p
, n ce, e e n, e ,

an d l ar to e both ha ds d f t w ll What
n us e n an ee e . c an

b m or awk w ard tha a m

e e w h co ti u ally fi ds his n an o n n n

ha ds d f t i his way d by his f ussy m ov

n an ee n ,
a n , e

m ts b trays his troubl ! A good da c r v r f l

en ,
e e n e ne e ee s

this mbarrass m t co s qu tly h v r app ars awar

e en , n e en e ne e e e

o f th x st c f hi f t d c rr s his ha ds d
e e i en e o s e e , an a ie n an

ar m s grac f ully S o m p opl b i g b ashful d af raid

e . e e e e n an

o f attracti g att tio a ball roo m or v g party

n en n In e en i n ,

do t tak l sso s da i g
no l king t h f act tha t
e e n In nc n , o v e r o o e

it is thos who d t partak f th a mus m t su h

e o no e o e e en on c

o c c asm t thos who do that attract att

ns, n o tio T e , en n . o

all s u ch g tl m I wo uld say ; L ar to da c Y

en e en e n n e. ou

w ill fi d i t nf t h v ry b st pla s for corr cti g

on e o e e e n e n

b ash f ul ss U l ss you poss ss t h accomplish m ts

ne . n e e e en

that co mm o
ar e polit soci ty you ith r g v
n In e e , c an ne e i e

n or r c v all t he b fits that

e ei e b d riv ed from en e c an e e so

i l i t rco u rs
c a n e e.

Wh you r c iven i vitatio to a b all a sw r it im

e e e an n n ,
n e

m diat ly
e e .

If you go alo go f o m t h dr ssi g room to t h n e, r e e n -

e

b all roo m fi d yo u r host d host ss

,
d sp ak first to
n an e ,
an e

th m ; if th r
e s v ral ladi s i t h ho u s tak t h
e e ar e e e e n e e, e e

e arli st opportu i ty f p ayi g your r s p cts to ach of

e n o n e e e

th m d i vit
e ,
a n of th m to d a c with yo u t h firs t
n e on e e n e e

da c If h is alr ady gag d you s ho uld d avo

n e. s e e en e , en e r

to gag h f a da c lat r i t h v i g nd
en e er or n e e n e e en n ,
a ar e

th at lib rty to s k a part

en mo gst th gu s ts
e ee ner a n e e .
 E QU E E
TI TT F O R T HE B ALL ROOM .

Wh y hav gag d a p art r f a da

en ou e en
y e ne or nce, ou

sho uld go to h a f w m o m ts b f or t h t f w hi h
er e en e e e se or c

yo u hav gag d h will b f orm d that yo u m y t

e en e er e e ,
a no

b h u rri d i
e eta k i g yo u r plac s p o t h f loor E
n n e u n e . u

q uir wh th r h p f t h h ad or sid pla i t h

k

e e e s e r e ers e e e ce n e

t
s e , an d tak t h p ositio e h am s
e n s e n e .

I viti g a lady to da c with yo u th w ords Will

n In n
“ n e e
, ,

yo u h m with yo u r ha d f
on or e a q u adrill n or e or,

S hall I hav t h h f da i g this

e e t w ith yo u
on or o nc n se

ar e m or u s d e w tha e S hall I hav t h p l

no n or e e ea s u r e ,
“Will you giv m t h l f dae ci g with eyo u ea s u r e o
‘
9 ”
p e n n

O ff r a lady yo u r m to l ad h to t h q u adrill
e ar e er e e

an d i t h pa u s s b t w
n e t h fig u r s
e d avor to m ak
e een e e en e e

t h d u ty f sta di g still l ss tir so m

e o n n by pl asa t e e e e n con

v rsatio L t t h s ubj cts b light as yo u w ill b

e n. e e e e , e c on

t
s an t ly i t rr u p t d by t h fig u r s i
n e e t h da c Th r e e n e n e . e e

is occasio u p which a pl asa t flow f s m all tal k

no n on e n o

is m or ap p e d agr abl tha i a ball roo m

ro os , a n ee e n n .

Wh th da c is ov r o ff r your m to your p art

en e n e e , e ar

n er , a n d q u ir wh th r h pr f rs to go i mm diat ly
en e e e s e e e e e

to h s at or wish s to pro m ad If h choos s

er e ,
e en e. s e e

t h f or m r co d u ct h
e e , to h s a t ~sta d ar h a f w
n er er e ,
n ne er e

mom ts chatti g th b w d giv oth r g tl m

en ,
n , en o ,
a n e e en e en

an o pp ortu ity f addr ssi g h

n o If h pr f rs to e n er . s e e e

pro m ad walk with h u til h xpr ss s a wish to

en e. er n s e e e e

sit dow E q uir b f or you l av h wh th r you

n. n e, e e e e er , e e

c an b fe o
y s rvic an d i f teh s u pp r roo m is
e, an
p , e e -
O en,

i vi h to go i th r with you
n te er n e e .

You will pay a d licat om pl m t d e that will

e c i en an on e

c rtai ly b a ppr ciat d if w h a lady d cli s yo u r

e n e e e , , en e ne

i vitatio to da c
n n t h pl a of fati g
n e on u or f ar of f e e e e a
94 GEN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
or !

E TIQUE TTE .

t l gu e , you do t s k anoth r part no but r mai with

ee e ner, e n ,

t h lady yo u ha
e j u st i vit d d thus m ply t hat th
ve n e , an I e

pl as ur f tal ki g wi t h d b i g ar h is gr at r
e e o n
,
a n e n ne , er , e e

tha that f d m g with a oth r

n o an c n e
J

L t yo r host ss u d rsta d that you

e u at h s rv c
e n e n ar e er e i e

f orth v g th t he m y hav prosp ct of g m g

e e en i n ,
a s a e a e iv

h er wall flo w rs a part r d how v r u attractiv

e n e , an ,
e e n e

th s may pro v d avo to mak yours lf agr abl

e e e, en e r e e as ee e

t th m
o pe m bl as os e.

Your co duc t will difi if you scor t l ady t b all

n
'

er e a o a .

Th your pri cipal att tio s must b paid t h

en n en n e o er .

You must call for h pu ctually at t h hour h h p er n e s e as a

po t d d it your d ty to provid th carr ag

in e
,
a n IS u e e i e.

You m y y h a bou q u t if you will this i optio al

a
’

c ar r er e , s n .

A m or l ga t w y of pr s ti g it is t s d it i th
e e e n a e en n o en
”
n e

a f t r oo with your card

e n n if you wait u til v i g , a s ,
n e en n ,

s h may t hi k you d
e t m a t pr s
n t d p o no e n o e en on e, an ro

v id f
e oneh rs lf or e e .

Wh you arriv t your d sti atio l av t h car

en e a e n n, e e e

d assist h i alighti g ; th scort h to t h

”

i g
r a e , an er n n en e er e

lady s d ssi g room l av h at th door d go to t h

’
re n -

,
e e er e ,
a n e

g tl m s dr ssi g roo m A soo as you hav ar

en e en
’
e n -
. s n e

ra g d your w dr ss go agai to t h door of t h

n e o n e ,
n e e

lady s room d wai t til y co mpa o com s out

’

,
a n un /

o ur ni n e .

G iv h your l f t m d scort h to t h b all room ;

e er e ar an e er e

fi d t h host ss
n d l ad your co m pa o to h
e e an Wh e ni n er . en

th y hav excha g d gr ti gs l ad your lady to s at

e e n e ee n , e a e ,

d th gag h f t h first da c T ll h that ’

an en e n e er or e n e. e er

whil you will t d pr v oth rs of t h pl asur of

e no e i e e e e e

da c i g with h you
n n d sirou of da ci g with h
er , ar e e s n n er

wh v r h is t mor p l asa tly gag d d b for

en e e s e no e e n en e ,
an e e
 E I QU E E
T TT F OR THE B ALL ROOM . 95

see ki g a part r f
n y oth r t ne w h th r yo u r or an e se , see e e

l dy is g g d is r ady to da
a en a e gai w it h y
or e n ce a n o u.

Yo u must w at h d uri g t h v i g d w hil yo u do

c n e e en n ,
a n ,
e

no t f orc your att tio s po h or pr v t oth rs

e en n u n er , e en e

f ro m payi g h you m ust v r allow h to

‘

tt ti n er a en on , ne e er

b alo
e b u t joi h wh v r o th rs
n e, n t sp aki g er en e e e ar e n o e n

to h You mu st tak h i to s u p p r d b r ady

er . e er n e , an e e

to l av t h party wh v r h wish s to do so
e e e , en e e s e e .

If t h ball g v i your w hous or at that of

e is i en n o n e, a

ne ar r lativ it b co m s your duty to

e e, that v rye e see e e

lady you g or old ha dsom or ugly is provid d with

,
n ,
n e , e a

part r though th old st d gli st m y fall to you

ne , e e an u e a r

o w sharn e.

N v r sta d up to da c u l ss you
e e n p rf ct m ast r n e n e ar e e e e

of th st p figur e d tim
e ,f that da c If you
e , an e o n e .

m ak a mistak you
e t o ly r d r yours lf ridic ulous
e no n en e e ,

b u t you a oy your part r d t h oth rs i t h t

nn ne an e e n e se .

If you hav com alo to a b all do t d vot your

e e ne , no e e

se l f tir ly to y
en elady Divid yo u r att tio
an on e . e en ns

am o gst s v ral
n d v r d a c twic i succ ssio
e e ,
an ne e n e e n e n

with t h sam part r e e ne .

T a ff ct
o air of s cr cy or myst ry wh co v rsi g
e an e e e en n e n

i a ball roo m is a pi c of i m p rti

n -
c for which e e e n en e no

lady f d licacy will tha k you

o e n .

Wh you co d u ct yo u r part r to h s at tha k

en n ne er e ,
n

h er f t h pl asur
or h has co f rr d u po you
e e d do
e s e n e e n ,
an

no t r m ai too lo g co v rsi g with h

e n n n e n er .

Giv your part r yo u r whol att tio wh da ci g

e ne e en n en n n

with h T l t yo u r y s wa d r ro u d t h roo m or
er . o e e e n e n e ,

t m ak
o r mark b trayi g your i t r st i oth rs i
e e s e n n e e n e , s
96 GEN TLEMEN S ’
n oo n on E QUE E
TI TT .

n ot flatt eri g as h will t b u ob s rv t of y

n , ,
s e no e n e an o ur
“

wa t f tast
n o e.

B v ry ar f u l
e t to f org t
e c gag m t It i
e no e an e n e en . s

an u pardo abl br a h f polit ss to ask a la dy to

n n e e c o ene

da c w ith you d gl ct to r m d h f h pro m s

n e ,
an ne e e in er o er i e

wh th tim to r ed m it co m s
en e e ee e .

A dr ss coat dr ss boots f ul l suit of b la k

e d whit
, e , c , a n e

or v ry light kid glov s must b wor i a b all room A

e e e n n .

whit waistcoat d cravat

e som tim s wor b t this
an ar e e e n, u

is a m att r of tast e e .

N v r wai t u til th music co mm c s b for i viti g

e e n e en e e e n n

a lady to d a c with you n e .

If lady r f u s you do t ask a oth r who i

on e e es , no n e s

se at d ar h to da c t h sam t Do t go i m
e ne er n e e e se . no

m diat ly to a oth r lady but chat a f w mo m ts with

e e n e , e en

th who m you first i vit d d th j o a group or

e on e n e ,
a n en in

g tl m fri ds for f w mo m ts b for

en e en en ki g a e en ,
e e s ee n an o

th r part r
e ne .

N v r da c without glov s This i

e e n i mp rativ
e e . s an e e

r ul It is b st to carry two pair as i t h co tact with

e. e
!

,
n e n

dark dr ss s or ha di g r fr shm ts you may soil

e e , in n n e e en ,

t h pa r you w ar
e i t ri g t h roo m d will thu
e on en e n e ,
a n s

b u d r th
e n c ssity of o ff ri g your ha d cov r d by
e e ne e e n n e e

a soil d glov t m fair part r Yo u

e e, slip ~
o so _
e ne . c an nu

p rc iv d fro m t h room ha g t h soil d for fr sh

e e e e , C n e e e a e

pair d th avo i d tha t m tifi ti

,
a n en or ca on .

If your part r has a b ou q u t ha dk rchi f f

'

ne e , n e e , or an

i h n ha d do t o ff r to carry th m f h
er n , If h
no e e or er . s e

fi d th y mbarrass h h will r qu st you to hold

n s e e er , s e e e

th m for h but tiqu tt r q u r s you t to otic

e er, e e e e i e no n e

th m u l s h sp aks of th m fi st
e ,
n e s s e e e r .
 G EN TLEMEN S BOO K ’
or E TIQUE E TT .

s he has n ot mad
istak ; was sur h w e a gag d
m e e s e as e n e

to H rr A e d t to H rr B an H rr B is qually
no e e e

ce rtai that h was gag d to him Th awk w ard s

n s e en e . e ne s

i that if h at o c giv s h
s, e up h app ars to b i dif
n e e er , e e e n -
e

fer e nt a b out it ; whil if h pr ss s his suit h mus t e, e e e ,

e

q uarr l with H rr A u l ss t h da m s l is cl v “

e e n e e e e er

en o u gh to satisfy both f th m ; d partic ularly if t h r o e an e e

is an sp cial i t r st i H rr B h yi lds at last

e e n e e n e e e ,

b ut wh t h d c en v r s ds a fri d t H rr A J
e an —
e is o
!

e , en en o e

Absurd as all this is it is co m m o d I hav of t ,

n , an e en

se en o n e H rr or t h oth r walki g abo u t wit h a h u g

e e e n e

gash his ch k or his m i a sli g a f w days aft

on ee ,
ar n n , e er

a ball .

“F ri dship it app arsen b l t o ut hir Th e c a n e e on e. e

, ,

lady wh was so v ry am iabl to you last ight has

o e e n , a

right to ig or your xist c to day I fact a bal l

n e e en e -
. n ,

roo m ac qu ai ta c rar ly go s y f arth r u til y

n n e e e an e , n ou

hav m t at m or b alls tha

e e I th sa m way
e n on e . n e e a

m an ca ot aft r b i g i trod u c d to yo u g l dy t
nn , e e n n e a n a o

da c with ask h to do so mor tha twic i t h

n e ,
er e n e n e

sam v i g A m m y da c f our or v fi
e e en n . an a n e e en ve

tim s with t h sam part r O t h oth r ha d

e e e ne . n e e n ,
a

r al w ll br d m will wish to b us f ul d th r
e e -
e an e e ,
a n e e ar e

c rtai p opl whom it is i mp rativ

e n e e him to ask to e e on

n —
da c t h dau ght rs of t h ho u s for i sta c
e e e d e e, n n e , an

an
y yo u g ladi s who
n m h may k ow i
e ti m at ly ; b t e n n e u

m ost of all t h w ll br d d a m iabl m

e will sa rifi
e -
e an e an c ce

him s lf to thos plai ill dr ss d d ull looki g b i g

e e n, -
e e ,
n e n s

wh o cli g to th wall
n
g h t d d spair
e g A f t r , un s ou
l

an e in . e

all h will t r gr t his good at u r Th pirits

,
e n o e e n e . e S re

V mg t th
iv u xp c t d i vita t o t h wall fl w will
a e ne e e n i n, e -
o er
 ETI Q U E E FOR TT THE B ALL ROOM . 99

po u r o u t h b st co v rsat o will da h b st d
er e n e i n, nce er e ,
a n

Will sho w him h gratit u d i so m way or oth r er e n e e .

Th f orm al b w at t h
e d f a q u adrill has gradu
o e en o e

ally dwi dl d a w ay At th d f v ry da c you

n e . e en o e e n e

o fl
'

yo ur right m to yo ur part r (if by mistak you

er ar ne , e

o ff r t h l f t you m y t ur t h b l u d r i to a pr tty
e e e ,
a n e n e n e

co mplim t by r m di g h that is Z b a
en , e in n er e r as n ocea r ,

ne ar st t h h art whi h if t a ato mically tr u is at

e e e ,
c no n e, ,

l ast
e wors tha talki g of a s u s t d s u ris )
,
n o e n n n e an n e ,

an d w alk hal f ro u d t h roo m wi th h You th askn e er . en

h if h w ill tak
er s
y er f r sh m t d if h ac pts
e an e e e n , an ,
s e ce ,

yo u co v y yo ur pr cio u s al lotm t of tarlata to t h

n e e en ne e

r f r shm t roo m to b i vigorat d b y i or g u s

e e en e n e an ce ne ,

or what you will It is j u dicio u s t to li g r too lo g. no n e n

i this roo m if you

n gag d to so m
, ls f ar e en e e on e e e or

th e nex t da c You will hav t h pl as u r f h ari g

n e. e e e e o e n

t h m u sic b gi i
e t h dista t ball roo m
e n d f r fl cti g
n e n ,
a n o e e n

that xp cta t fair is sighi g f you lik M aria a

an e e n n or e nn

He c om th t h said
e no , s e .

Sh e said I m w ary w ary

, a a -
e a -
e ,

I w ould I w r i b d e e n e

w hi h is t u fr q u t wish i so m ball roo ms A

c no an n e en n e .

w ll br d girl too will r m mb r this d always o ff r

e -
e , ,
e e e ,
a n e

to r t ur to t h ball roo m how v r i t r sti g t h

e n e , e e n e e n e c on

ve rsatio n.

“If you pr u d t y will t da c v ry da c

ar e en ou no n e e e n e,

n or i f a t m u h m or tha hal f t h
n c , um b r t h list ;
c e n e n e on e

yo u will th s ap that hat f ul r d ss f f ac at th

en e c e e e ne o e e

ti m d that w ari g f atig u t h

e , an t day which e n e e n ex ar e

amo g th worst f atur s f a b all Agai n a g tl ma

n e e e o .
,
en e n
1 00 GEN LEM EN S B OOK
T
’
or E TIQUE TT E .

must r b r that a b all is ss tially a lady s party

e m em e e en
’

an d i th ir pr s c h sho u ld b g tl
n e d d licat
e en e e e en e an e e

a l m ost to a f ault v r p u shi g his way apologizi g if

,
n e e n ,
n

h tr ad
e e dr ss still mor so if h t ars it b ggi g
on a e ,
e e e ,
e n

pardo for y ac id tal a oya c h may occasio

n an c en nn n e e n,
l

an d addr ssi g v ry b ody with a s m il

e n B ut quit
e e e. e un

pardo abl thos m who m

n e ar esom ti m s m ts e en on e e e ee ,

who sta di g i
,
door w y tal k d laugh as th y
n n n a -
a ,
an e

would i a barrack or coll g roo m s always coars ely

n e e -

, ,

oft i d licat ly What m u st th tat of th ir mi ds

en n e e . e s e e n

b if t h sight of b auty m od sty

e, e d virtu do s t e ,
e ,
a n e, e no

a w th m i to sil
e e c ! A m too who strolls dow
n en e an , , n

th e room with his h a d i t h air, look i g as if th r e n e n e e

wr e e t a cr atur
no th r worth da ci g with is ill
e e e e n n ,
an

br d m
e s is h who looks bor d ;
an , o d wors tha al l
e e an e n

is h who tak s too m uch cham pag

e e n e;

If you r d m g W th a you g lady wh

a e t h sup
an c i n en e

p erroo-
m is Op d yo u m ust ask h if h would
en e lik ,
er s e e

to go to supp r d if h says y which i 9 99 e , an s e

‘
es,
’

,
n

cas s out f 1 0 0 0 h c rtai ly will do you must tak

e o ,
s e e n , e

h er thith r If you e t da
. i g t h lady f t h ar e no nc n , e o e

ho u s will prob ably r cruit you t tak i so m chap o

e e o e n e er n.

Ho w v r littl you m y r lish this you m u st t show

e e e a e , no

yo ur disg u st I fact m ought to b disgust d at

. n ,
n o an e e

b g abl to do a ythi g f
ei n e lady ; it should b his n n or a e

e —
high st privil g b u t it is t i th s m od r u chi
e e, no n e e e n n

l
va r o u s —
days p rhaps v r was so Havi g plac d e ne e . n e

yo ur part r th at t h s upp r tabl i f th r is room

ne en e e -
e, e e

th r b u t if t at a sid tabl or v at o you

e e, no e -
e, e en n n e,

mu t b a activ as Pu ck i att di g to h w t s
s e s e n en n er an
,

an d as w o m tak a lo g to ttl th ir fa ci s i
en e s n se e e n e n
1 02 G BN T L BMBN S
’
BOOK or BTIQUE TTB .

fl u sh d ch ks d d w y gla c s S th m to morrow
e ee an e n e . ee e -

my d ar f ll ow it will c u r yo u
e e ,
e .

I thi k flirtatio co m s u d r t h h ad f m oral

n n e n e e e o s

mor tha f m a rs ; still I m y b allo w d to say

e n o nne a e e

that b all roo m flirtatio b i g m or op is l ss d g r n e n e en e an e

ous tha y o th r A prud t m will v r pr s u m

n an e . en an ne e e e

on a girl s liv li ss or ba t r N o m f tast v r

’
e ne n e . an o e e e

mad o ff r aft r supp r d c rtai ly i t ths of

e an e e e , an e n n ne -
en

thos who hav do so hav r gr tt d it at b r ak f as t

e e ne e e e e e

th xt m or i g
e ne n n .

“A t p b lic balls th r u g rally ith r thr e e ar e en e e e e e or

four st wards d uty or a pro f ssio al mast r f c r

e on ,
e n e o e e

mo i s Th s g tl m havi g m ad all t h arra g

n e . e e en e en n e e n e

m ts ord r t h da c s
en ,
d hav pow r to cha g th m
e e n e ,an e e n e e

i f d sirabl e Th y also u d rtake. to pr s t y u g e n e e e en o n

m en to ladi s bu t it must b u d rstood that such

e , e n e an

i troductio is o ly availabl f
n n da c It is b tt
n e o r on e n e . e er

tast to ask t h s t ward to i troduc you sim ply to

e e e n e a

part r tha to poi t out y lady i p rtic ular H

ne
,
n n an n a . e

w ill pro b ably th ask y if you hav choic en d if ou e a e , an

no t you may b
, c rtai h will tak you to e stab e n e e an e

li h d w al l fl w
s e Pu blic balls
-
o scarc ly j oyab l
er . ar e e en e

u l ss you hav yo u r w party

n e e o n .

“A t h gr at char m of a ball is its p rf ct acc rd

s d
e e o e e an

har m o y all alt rcatio s loud talki g &

n , edoubly n ,
n , c , ar e
.

ill m a r d i a ball roo m V ry lit tl ffi h to dis

-
nn e e n . e e su c s

turb t h p ac f th whol co mpa y

e e e o e e n .
”

Th sa m a u thor gi s so m hi ts p o da ci g which
e e ve e n u n n n

ar e so xc ll t that I d m ak
e e apology for quoti g
en n ee e no n

th m e H says
. e

Tha k you — —
w I do
n t da c i w v ry a no n e,
’
s no a e
 E Q U E E FOR HE B ALL ROOM TI 108
TT T .

Co mm o r ply f ro m a w ll dr ss d ha dso m m who

n e e -
e e ,
n e an ,

is l a i g agai st th sid f th door to t h a io u s

e n n n e e o e , e nx
,

h at d host ss who f ls it i umb t h to fi d a

e e e , ee nc en on er n

part r f p oor Miss Wallflo w r I y th r ply i

ne or e . sa e e s

no t o ly co m m o n but v r gard d as rath r a fi n, e en e e e ne one

to m a k I short m f t h pr s t day do t wo t
e . n ,
en o e e en n
’

, n
’

or a t da c ; d you a t m ak th m do it
c n
’
n e an
p t c n
’
e e ,
e x c e

by thr at i g to giv th m e en n s upp r I r lly ca ot e e no e . ea nn

dis o r t h r aso f this av rsio to

c ve e e i oc t n or e n an nn en

a mu s m t f t h ap par t pu rp os f j oy g whi h
e en , or e en e o en in c

th y hav p t
e hou r d a hal f
e S en th ir toil t
an an on e e .

Th r is so m thi g i d d i t h h at f a ball roo m

e e e n ,
n ee , n e e o ,

th r is a gr at d al i t h ridi ulo u s s m all ss of t h

e e e e n e c ne e

clos ts i to w hich t h ball giv r rowds two hu dr d

e n e -
e c n e

p o pl W th a ru l i difl
e e, i o ly q u all d by that
c e n
'

er en c e n e e

o f t h b l a k hol e f Cal u tta c x p ti g th m to joy

-
e o c ,
e ec n e en

th ms l s w h t h l adi dr ss s
e e ve ,
cr ush d d
en e es
’
e e ar e e an

tor d t h g tl m
n , an u d r t h d spotis m f th irs
e en e en , n e e e o e ,

ar e m lti g a w ay al m ost as ra p idly as t h ic s with which

e n e e

an o asio al w ait r has t h h artl ss ss to i sul t

cc n e e e e ne n

th m Th agai it is a gr at uisa c to b i tro

e . en , n, e n n e e n

d d to a s u
uc e ssio f plai u i t r sti g you gcce n o n, n n e e n n

wo m f w hos tast s mod s f li f

en, o & you hav t
e e , e o e, c , . e no

th eslight st co c ptio who m y look gay y t hav

e n e n : a , e e

ne v r a tho ugh t b yo d th c urat

e d t h parish or e n e e an e ,

app ar to b s rio u s w hil th y u d rsta d othi g

e e e , e e n e n n n

but t h o p ra d eS d so s b all i f a t t b i
e — an e an- -
’
n c , o e n

p pre t u al eris k f ith r sho ki g th i p r jou dic s eor e c n e r e e ,

plagui g th m with s u bj ts i whi h h y

n e hav ec n c t e c an e no

pos sibl i t r st ; to tak your cha c wh th r th y

e n e e e n e e e e c an

da c at all d to k ow that wh yo u hav light d

n e ,
a n n en e e on
 G BN TL E MBN S
’
BOOK OF E IQ UE T E T T .

a r al charm r p rhap th b a u ty of t h room h is

e e , e s e e e , s e

on ly l t to you f that da c
en d wh that is ov r or n e , an , en e ,

an d you hav salaa m d a w ay agai you e d h m ust e . n, an s e re

ma to in a oth r as if y had v r m t ; t f l
on e n e ou ne e e o ee

in short that you must d stroy ith r your pr s

, t com e e e e en

for t or futur happ ss c rtai ly suffici tly tryi g

e i ne
,
is e n en n

t o k p m clos t t h id p sts of th do rway

ee a an e o e s e -
e e o .

B ut th s r aso which might k p him altog th

e e ar e e ns
,
ee e er

from a b all roo m d if h has th s d oth r bj ,

a n , e e e an e o ec

t io s to d
n m g h c rtai ly ca
an c ot b j ustifi d i com , e e n nn e e n

i g t
n
pl t
o aapart for t hat sol purpos
ac e s e
‘
e e.
“B ut I susp ct that th r oth r r aso e d that e e ar e e e n s , an ,

i mos t cas s t h
n dividual e ,da c d do s da c e in c an n e an e n e

a t tim b ut h es, w vulg r d sir to b disti guish d

as n o a a e e e n e

from th r st of hi x pr s t d to app ar i d iff

e e s se e e n , an e n er

en t to t h pl asur s of t he v i g If this b his laudabl

e e e e en n . e e

d sir how v r h might at l ast b co sist t d

e e, e e e ,
e ,
e n en , an

co ti u to cli g to his door post lik S t S bastia t

n n e n -

,
e . e n o

hi tr s d r ply througho u t t h
e e , an v i g Tha k you
e e e en n ,
n ,

I do t tak r f r sh m ts ; Tha k y I ca t t
n
’
e e e en
’
‘
n ou, n
’
ea

s upp r ; Tha k y I do t talk ; Tha k you I

e
’ ‘
n o u, n
’ ’ ‘
n ,

do t dri k cha mpag

n
’
—nf if ball roo m h purga n e,
’
or a e

t ory what a d m o acal co fl i ct do s a supp r roo m p

,
e ni n e e -
re

s t ; if you g ladi s b b ad for t h h art cham pag

en n e e e e , ne

is wors f th h ad e or e e .

“N o it is t h w ill t th pow to da c which i e n o e er n e s

, ,

wa ti g d to r f u s to do so u l ss f a r ally goo d
n n ,
a n
'

e e ,
n e or e

r aso is t t h p art f a w ll br d m
e n, no T m th
e o e -
e an . o ar e

pl as ur f oth rs is obviously bad m a rs d thoug h

e e o e nn e
,
an ,

at t h door post you may t b i t h way you may

e -

,
no e n e ,

b c rtai that th r
e e n om you g l di l o gi g t e e ar e s e n a es n n o
 G NTE LEMEN S BOOK OF ET QUE EI TT .

a ll , most m porta t figur is t h mi l d t h f t

t he i n e e s e, a n e ee

may b l f t to th ir f at if w k ow w hat to do wit h

e e e e, e n

o ur ha ds ; f which I may obs rv that th y should

n o e e e

ne v r b pock t d
e e e e .

“Th s m il e ss tial A da c is suppos d t

e is e en . n
'
e e o

a m s u d othi g is m or o u t f pla i it th a
e , an n n e o ce n n a

gloo my sco wl u l ss it b ,
ill t m p r d frow Th
n e e an -
e e e n . e

gai ty f a da
e o m or ss tial tha t h ac ura y f
nce i s e e en n e c c o

its fig ur s d if y f l o yours l f y m y t
e
,
an ou ee n ne e ,
ou a
,
a

l ast look pl as d by that of thos arou d you A d

e , e e e n . e

fi t ma
an r is q u ally ob ox ous A acquai ta c of
nne e n i . n n n e

mi al w ays giv s m t h i mpr ssio wh h adva c s

ne e e e e n, en e n e

in that h is abo u t to box t h lady who co m s to

’

e e e

m t hi m
ee Bu t t h m ost bj ctio abl of all is t h
. e o e n e e su

p er ci l i m a
ou s r D ar m i
n nef y r ally thi
. k you do e e, ou e n

y o u r part r ho or
ne da cian g w ith h you sho
n u ld in n n er,

at l ast r m mb r that your co d sc sio is a ull d

e ,
e e e n e en n nn e

b y t h m a r w hi h you tr at h
e nne in c e er .

“A lady—b a u ti f l w rd l— is a d licat cr atur

e u o e e e e , on e

wh should b r v r
o c d d d licat ly tr at d It is
e e e en e an e e e e .
,

t h r f or
e e u pardo abl to rush about i a quadrill to
e, n n e n e,

catch hold f a lady s ha d as if it w r a door ha dl

o
’
n e e -
n e,

or to drag h f uriously across t h roo m as if you w r

er e , e e

B l u b ard
e e d h F ati m a with t h m yst rious c l os t
an s e ,
e e e

opposit to you This h g viol t styl of da cing

e . ra s ae en e n

is u fort u at ly co m m o b u t mm diat ly t mp
,
n n e ,
n, i e e s a s a

m an . Tho u gh I wo u ld t hav yo u w ar a p r p tual no e e e e

Si mp you sho uld c rtai ly s mil w h yo u t k

el , e n e en a e a

l ady s ha d ’
d t h old custo m f bowi g i doi g so
n ,
a n e o n n n ,

i s on e that w m y r gr t for do s h t co f r
e a e e ,
e s e no n e an

ho o us b y th a tio ! T s qu z it th oth
r on e c n o ee e o
n
n , e er
 E QU E E
TI TT F OR TH E B ALL OOM B . 1 07

ha d is a gross f am il iarity f w hi h yo u w o uld d s rv

n , ,
or c e e e

to b ki k d o u t f t h roo m
e c e o e .

S t ps as t h f t h q u d ill is call d b
’
h e ,
e e a s s er o e a r e e , e

lo g to a p ast g
n d ladi s w o t a t to e , an e ve n e ar e n e c n en

walk thro ugh a q u adrill It is ho w v r ssary to e .

, e e ,
n e c e

k p tim with t h mu si t h gr at obj t b i g t h

ee e e c, e e ec e n e

g ral h ar m o y T pr s rv this it is also ad isabl

en e n . o e e e , v e,

wh r e e th q u adrill as is w g rally t h cas is

e e, no en e e e,

da d by t w lo g li s f o upl s do w t h roo m that

n ce o n ne O c e n e ,

d oth r fig u r s i w hi h a g tl m a d lady
’

i l é te
n , an e e , n c en e n an

adva alo to m t
nce a oth r o b u t g tl m
ne ee on e n e ,
n ne en e en

sho uld adva c f rom t h sid d th r f or

n e o e on e e, an , e e e, n ne

b ut ladi s f ro m th oth r e e e .

Da i g m ast rs fi d it co v i t to i trod u
nc n w e n n e n en n ce n e

figur s d th f ashio f L T
e , an d th G e d n o a
’ '

r e n zs e a n e r an e

R d is r p t dly cha gi g
on o It is wis to k ow t h
e ea e n n . e n e

last mod b u t t to s st da i g it A q u adrill

e, no in i on nc n . e

c a ot go
nn v ly if y o f usio aris s f ro m t h
on e en an c n n e e

ig ora c obsti a y or i att tio f y

n n e, f th
n c ,
n en n o an on e o e

da rs It is th er f or u s f ul to k ow v ry way i
nce .
‘

e e e n e e n

whi h a figur m y b da c d d to tak yo ur

c e a e n e ,
an e on e

fro m th oth rs It is a mu si g how v r to fi d h w

e e . n ,
e e , n o

e v s u h a trifl as a choi f fig ur s i a q u adrill

en c e ce o e n e

c an h l p to m ark cast
e d giv a ha dl f s pri e, an e n e or u e e

lio u s s rs Jo s th Oth r day w prot sti g that

nee . ne , e e ,
as e n

th e B ro w s w r v ulgar Why so ! th y
n e w lle
‘
.
’
e ar e e

br d e .Y
’
so th y ‘
Th y es, w ll i f or m d e ar e .
’ ‘
e ar e e -
n e .
’

‘
C rtai ly
e Th y
n polit s p ak good E glish
.
’
‘
e ar e e, e n

dr ss qui tly d w ll
e gra f ul d v l ga t
e an e ,
a r e ce an e en e e n .

‘
I gra t you all that n Th what f ault you fi d .
’
en c an n

with th m ! My d ar f ll w th y
e
’
p opl who gal e e o , e ar e e e
1 08 G BN T L BMBN S
’
BOOK OF E QUE TI TTE .

l op rou d i t h last figur f a quadrill h r pli d

n n e e o e,
’
e e e ,

t riu m pha tly Bu t to a c rtai

n . t t Jo n s is right e n ex en e .

Wh r a hoi is giv t h m f tast will alway

e e c ce en, e an o e s

s l ct f a quadrill ( it a co v rsatio l da c )
e e or e as is n e na n e

th qui t m od f p r f or m g figur
e e er d so t h
e o e in a e , an e

B ro w s if p r f t i oth r r sp cts at l ast w r wa t

n ,
e ec n e e e , e e e n

tast h r i trod c d
/

in
g i n T e l t
. t i l t ly e u e is on e a er a on a e n e

fro m F ra c which I s c r ly t rust will b u iv rs lly

n e, in e e ,
e n e a ,

a cc pt d Th f arc f that d gradi g littl p r f or m a c

e e . e e o e n e e n e

call d s tti g wh r you da c b f or yo u r part

e
‘
e n
’
-
e e n e e e n er

s o m what lik M F riday b f or Robi so Cr u so

e e an d e e n n e , an

th as if your f li gs w r ov r o m s iz h ha ds
en ee n e e e c e, e e er n

an d whirl h —
rou d has b fi ally abolish d by
er n e en n e a

d cre f F ashio
ee o d th u s m or opportu ity is giv n , an e n en

for co v rsatio n d i
e a crowd d roo m yo u hav
n , an n e e no

occasio to cr u sh yours lf d part r b tw t h cou

n e an ne e e en e

pl s e ach sid f y
on e e o ou .

“I do t tt m pt to d y that th q uadrill as w
no a e en e e, no

walk d is r dic ulo u s ; t h figur s which m ght b grac

e ,
i e e , i e e

ful if p r f orm d i a liv ly m a r hav t i ly l t

, e e n e nne ,
e en re i os

th ir pirit ; d
e S b o m a b url squ f da ci g ;
an ar e ec e e e o n n

b ut at t h sa m t m it is a m ost valuabl da c O ld
!

, e e i e, e n e .

an d yo u g sto u t d thi
n good da c rs d bad lazy
,
an n, n e an
,

an d activ st u pid d cl v r marri d

e, d si gl an all e e , e an n e , c an

3 0m it ind hav t o
,
aly
n xcus d opportu ity
e no n an e e an n

for té t i tet co v rsatio whi h is d cid dly t h easi

‘
e c - -
‘
e n e n, c e e e

es ,t b ut fi d o u rag m t i t h m u sic d i so m
n en c e en n e ,
a n n e

c as s co e t br aks i t h c ssity f d m g A
n v en i en e n e ne e o an c .

p rso f f w id a has ti m to o ll ct th m whil t h

e n o e e s e c e e e e

part r i p rf or m g d
ne s e f ma y b r g th m
in
,
a n on e o n c an in e

out with doub l ff ct L astly if you wish t b p l it e e e .

, o e o e
 G EN TL E MEN s
’
BOO K or E TIQUE TTE .

worthy B ishop f B ay ux of this umb r A pr s t

o e ,
o n e n e . ie

o f his dioc s p titi o d him to put do w rou d da c s

e e e ne n n n e .

I k ow othi g abo u t th m r pli d t h pr lat I

n n n e ,
’
e e e e e,

hav v r s a waltz U p o this t h you g r ccl

e ne e e en .
’
n e n e e e

i t i att m pt d to plai w h t it was d wh r i t h

l

s as c e e ex n a an e e n e

da g r lay b t t h bishop could t

n e , t
u Will M e no s ee i . on

se ig ur p r mit m to show him ! ask d t h pri st

ne e e
’
e e e .

C rtai ly M y chaplai h r app ars to u d rsta d t h

e n . n e e e n e n e

s ubj ct ; l t m
e you two waltz How t h r v r d
e e see .
’
e e e en

g tl m cam to k ow so much about it do s t app ar

en e en e n e no e ,

b u t th y c rtai ly da c d a polka a gallop d a t

e e n n e , ,
a n r ot s

t mp w ltz A ll th s s m har m l ss o ugh Oh !

‘ ’
e s a . e e ee e en .

b t M o s ig ur has t s t h worst ; d th r upo

’
u n e ne no een e an e e n

th t w g tl m proc d d to fl o u d r thro ugh a l ‘

e o en e en ee e n e va s e

a l c ea r t mp -
Th y m ust hav murd r d it t rribly for
e s . e e e e e ,

th y w re t half rou d t h
e e roo m wh his L ordshi p
no n e en

C ri d o u t E o gh ough that is atro io u s d d s rv

e ,
‘
n u , e n ,
c ,
a n e e es

e xco mmu icatio A ccordi gly this waltz was forbid

n n .
’
n ,

whil th oth r da c s w r allo w d I was at a public

e e e n e e e e .

b all at Ca soo a f t r this occ u rr c

en d was a m u s d
n e en e, an e

t fi d t h t t t mp da c d with a p culiar sh u m b y
o n e ro s -
e s n e e e,

way f co mpro mis b t w

o m d pl as u r e e e e n c on s en c e an e e .

Th r p opl i this co u try whos logic is

e e ar e e e n n e as

good as that f t h B ishop of B ay u x but I co f ss my

o e e ,
n e

i na bility to u d rsta d it If th r is mpropri ty i n e n . e e i e n

r ou d da c s th r is t h sam i all Bu t to th waltz

n n e , e e e e n . e ,

which po ts hav prais d d pr ach rs d ou c d Th

e e e an e e en n e . e

F r h with all th ir lov f da g r; waltz atro io u sly

en c ,
e e o n e c ,

t h E glish bu t littl b tt r ; t h G r m a s
e n d Ru ssia e e e e e n an ns

alo u d rsta d i t I co u ld rav thro u gh thr pag s

ne n e n . e ee e

a b o u t t h i oc t j oym t of a go d waltz its grac

e nn en en en o ,
e
 E QU E E
TI TT F OR T HE B ALL OOM B . 111

an d b auty b u t I w ill b pra ti al i st ad d giv y

e ,
e c c n e ,
a n e ou

a f w hi ts t h s ubj t
e n on e ec .

Th p ositio is t h m ost i mp or ta t p oi t
e n Th lady e n n . e

an d g tl m a b f or starti g sho u ld sta d

en e n a tly p
e e n n ex c o

p i
os t to e a oth r quit u
on epright d t as is so
n e , e ,
a n no ,

c o mm o p ai f ully los to
n, a oth r If t h m a s
n c e on e n e . e n
’

ha d b plac d w h r it sho uld b t t h c tr f th

n e e e e e, a e en e o e

lady s w aist d t all ro u d it h w il l hav as fi m

’

,
a n no n
-

,
e e r a

hold d t b oblig d to t p or b d to his right

an no e e s ee , en .

Th lady s h ad sho u ld th b tu d a littl towards

’
e e en e rne e

h er l f t should r d h part r s som what l ss to

e e , an er ne
’
e e

w ards his ri ght i ord r to pr s rv t h prop r bala c

,
n e e e e e e n e .

N othi g b m or
n trocio u s tha t b
c an e a lady lay e a n s ee

h er h ad h part r s sho uld r ; b u t

e on er th oth r ne
’
e ,
o n e e

ha d h will t da w ll if h tu r s it i t h ppo
n , s e no nce e , s e n n e O

sit dir ctio Th lady aga sho uld t h w h h ad

e e n. e in re er e

an d sh ou ld rs a littl b ack ed th m l a a v ry e , a n e an e n e

littl f or ward
e .

“Th positio havi g be gai d th st p is t h

n n e en ne e e e
,

ne xt q u tio I G rm a y t h rapidity f t h w altz is

es n. n e n e o e

v ry gr at b u t it is r d r d l ga t by slack i g t h
e e , en e e e e n en n e

pac v ry w d th
e e e d th u s givi g a
no an d en , an n Cr es c en o

an d d l ti m to t h m ov m t
e or es c en c o Th Ru ssia e e e en . e n

m en u d rtak to p r f or m i w altzi g t h sam f at as

n e e e n n e e e

t h Au stria s i
e ridi g d will da c ro u d t h roo m
n n n ,
a n n e n e

w i h a glass f cha m pag

t i t h l f t ha d witho u t s pill
o ne n e e n

i g a dro p
n This v ss i waltzi g is c rt i ly v ry
. e en n e n n e a n e

gra f ul b u t
ce o ly b attai d by a lo g slidi g st p
, c an n e ne n n e ,

whi h is littl pr tis d wh r t h roo m s

c e s m all d
ac e e e e ar e ,
an

p o pl
e t u d rsta di g th
e, no r al pl as ur f d mg
n e n n e e e e o an c

w ll i si t da ci g all at t h am ti m I G
e , n s on n n e s e e . n er
1 12 G BN TL BMEN s
’
B OOK or E IQUE TE
T T .

ma y th yn so aliv to th c ssity of ampl Spac

e ar e e e ne e e e,

that i larg ball a rop is d raw across th room its

n e s e n e

tw ds
o en h ld by th mast rs of th c r mo i s p
ar e e e e e e e n e ro

t m e .d as
,
a n coupl stops d r tir s a oth r is l
on e e an e e , n e a

l o w d to pass u d r th rop
e d tak its pl c n Bu t e e e an e a e .

th i G r m a y th y da c f t h da ci g s sak
en n e n e n e or e n n
’
e.

H ow v r this may b a v
e e mot o v ry d sirabl e, n e en i n Is e e e,

an d all t h a b omi atio s which militat agai st it s u h

e n n e n , c

as hop waltz s th S chottisch

-
d ridiculous V
e , e e, an ar so

m
’

justly put dow i go d soci ty Th pac

en n e , ar e n n o e . e e,

a gai sho u ld t b suffici tly rapid to da g r oth r

n, no e en en n e e

co u pl s It is th g tl m a s duty t t
e . d e en e n
’
o s eer , an in

cro wd d roo m s othi g i mor tryi g H m ust k p

e n n s e n .
~
e ee

his y s op e ed tur th m i v y dir c tio if h

en an n e n e er e n, e

would t ri k c ollisio no d t h cha c of a fall

s a n , an e n e ,
o r

wh at is as b ad t h i flictio of wou d hi part r ’

, e n n a n on s ne s

ar m I hav s a l ady s m cut op

. e such a col
e en
’
ar en i n

lisi by t h b rac l t of that of a oth r lady ; d t h

en e e e n e an e

s ight is b y n m a s pl asa t i
o b all room to
e n a e n on e n a ,

sa y othi g
n of w dr ss cov
n r d i moma t with ne e e e n a en

b lood .

“Th co s q u c s of viol t da c g may b r ally

e n e en e en n in e e

se rious N ot o ly d d licat girls b ri g th r by

. n o e e n on , e e ,
a

v i ol t palpitatio
en f t h h art d th ir p rt rs p n o e e ,
an e a ne a

p ar i
e m ost disagr abl co ditio
h a f solutio b t ee e n n o n, u

d g rous falls
an e su from it I hav k ow int en e . e n n s an c e a

f a lady s h ad b i g l id op d a g tl m a s foo t
’ ’
o e e n a en , an en e n

b g brok i such fall r sulti g poor f llo w ! i

ei n en n a ,
e n , e n

lam ss for lif

ene e .

“It is p rhap us l ss t r co mm d fl t~f t waltz

e s, e e o e en a oo
,

i g i thi s c u try wh r l adi

n n allow th ms lv s to b
o n , e e es e e e e
 G E N TL E ME N s
’
BOOK OF E r i eu s r r u.

o ly advic th r f or which it is c sary t

The n e, e e e, ne es o

giv to t h w h W sh to da c th polka may b

’

e os e o i n e e e

s um m d up i e word N t so with t h galop

n on e , o e .

Th r marks as to t h positio i waltzi g apply to al l

e e e n n n

r ou d da c s d th r is th r f or littl to add w ith

n n e , an e e ,
e e e, e

re gard to t h galop xc pt that it is a g t m i t k t

e , e e r ea
r

s a e o

s uppos it to b a rapid da c It should b d c d

e e n e . e an e as

s lowly possibl It will th b mo r grac f ul d

as e. en e e e an

l ss fat igui g It is da c d q u it slo wly i G r m any

e n . n e e n e

an d t h flat f
on t Th polka m az u rka is still m u h
e ee . e -
c

da c d d is c rtai ly v ry grac f ul Th r m arks

n e ,
a n e n e e . e e on

t h q u adrill apply qu ally to t h la c rs w hich

e e gr at e e n e ,
ar e e

favorit s d thr at to tak t h pl

e ,
a n f t h f or m r
e en e e ac e o
‘

e e .

Th schottisch hop w altz r dowa varsovi

e e, ll -

,
e , en n e, ce ar i u s ,

an d so forth hav had th ir d a y ,

d lo g r e e ,
a n ar e no n e

da c d i good soc ty
n e n ie .

“Th cal m as w hich marks t h m

e of good tast
e e e an e,

mak s v t h swi f t st da c s grac ful d agr abl

e e en e e n e e an ee e.

V h m c may b xcus d at
e e en e l ctio but t i e e e an e e n, no n a

b all roo m I o c ask d b autif ul d v ry cl v

. n e e a e an e e er

you g lady how h w h s m d to pass h l if With

n s e, o ee e er e

b ooks ma ag d to da c so w ll
,
n I joy i t h
e n e e . en ,
’
s e re

p li d ;e d wh I da c I giv my w h l mi d to it
an en n e e o e n .
’

A d h was q u it right
n s e What v r worth doi g t e . e e is n a

a ll ,
worth doi g w ll ; d if it is t b a th you
i s n e an no en e r

dig ity to da c i t is t u worthy of your m i d t

n n e, no n n o

giv its lf f t h ti m wholly up to it You will v

e e ,
o r e e, . ne er

en joy da ci g till you do it w ll ; d if you d

n n t e an , o no

en joy it it is folly to da c Bu t
,
r ality d a ci g n e. ,
i n e ,
n n ,

if i t b m r trifl is
e a to w hich gr at mi d s hav
e e e, one e n e

no t b sh m d t toop L ock
e en a a t e h o s . e, n s an oe , as
 E IQ U E E FOR
T TT THE B ALL RO OM . 115

writt e n oni t u tility d sp aks f it as m a ly whi h

s ,
a n e o n , c

was c rtai ly t M i hal s opi io wh h look d t

e n no c
’
n n, en s e e ou

o f th wi do w
e n d w h lord d m ast r da ci g d
an sa er an e n n an

playi g P lato r co mm d d it d S ocrat s l ar d

n . e en e ,
an e e ne

t h Ath
e ia polk a f t h day w h q uit
en n o old g tl
e en e an en e

m d lik d it v ry m uch
an , an e So m e has v go . e on e e en ne

th el gth f calli g it t h logic f t h b ody ; d

en o n
‘
e o e
’
an

A ddiso d f ds hi ms lf for m ki g it t h subj ct f

n e en e a n e e o a

dis quisitio n .
”
1 16 G ENTLE MEN s
’
B OOK or E TIQUE TTE .

C H AP TE R V I I .

R D E SS .

B E WEEN t h slov
T d t h coxco mb th r is g
e e n an e e e en e

rally co mp titio which shall b th mor co t mptibl

a e n e e e n e e

th e on ei t h total gl ct f v ry thi g which migh t

n e ne e o e e n

mak his app ara c i public supportabl

e e d th n e n e , an e

oth r i th cultivatio of v ry sup rfluo u s or am t

e n e n e e e n en .

Th f or m r o ff
e ds b y his glig c
e d dirt
en d th ne en e an
,
an e

latt b y his fi ry d p r f um ry E ach t r tai s

er ne an e e . en e n a

sup r m co t m pt for t h oth r d Whil b oth

e e n e e e , an e ar e

right i th ir Opi io b oth

n e wro g i th ir p ractic
n n, ar e n n e e .

It is t no th r xtr m that th m of r al l ga c
i n ei e e e e e an e e e n e

an d r fi m t will b show
e ne b ut i t h happy m dium
en e n, n e e

which allows tast d judg m t to pr sid ov r t h e an en e e e e

wardro b d toil t tab l whil it pr v ts too gr at

e an e -
e, e e en e an

a tt en tio t ith r d v r allows p rso al app ara c

n o e e , an ne e e n e n e

to b co m t h l adi g obj c t of lif

e e e e n e e.

Th F r ch hav a prov r b
e en It is t t h cowl whiche e ,
no e

m ak s t h mo k d it might b said with q ual truth

”
e e n ,
an e e
,

It is t th dr ss whic h m ak s th g tl ma y t
no e e e e en e n,
”
e ,

as th mo k i k ow abroad b y his cowl so t h tru

e n s n n , e e

g tl m a will l t th r fi m t of his mi d d duc

en e n e e e ne en n an e a

tio b s i his dr ess

n e e en n .

Th fir t ul f
e t h guida c
s r f em i m tt r s
or e n e o a an , n a e
 G EN TLE MEN s
’
B OO K OF E TIQUE TTE .

y our hair t t h tip of y our booot l t lle b p rf ct i i t ,

e a e e e n s

m ak d arra g m t b ut as soo you h l f t as a ve

‘

e an n e en , ,
n e

your mirror f org t your dr ss N th g b tok s th

,
e e . o in e en e

co co mb mor d cid dly tha to s a m always fu ss

x e e e n ee an

i g about his dr ss pulli g dow his wristba ds playi ng

n e ,
n n n ,

wit h his moustach pulli g up his shirt collar or e,

g n ,
ar r an -

in
g t h b ow feh i cravat O c dro ss d do s t att m pt . n e e e ,
no e

t alt r
o
y part
e of your
an costum u til you agai i e n ar e n n

th d e m g room
r ess -
.

I a g tl m a s dr ss att mpt co sp cuo

’
b
‘

n en
y e t n e an e o e n i us

is in e xc ss v ly bad tast If you

e i e w althy l t t h e . ar e e ,
e e

l uxury of your dr ss co sist i t h fi quality f ach e n n e ne o e

a rticl d i th
e, an potl ss puri ty of glov s d li
n e S e e an n en ,

b ut v r w ar m u ch j w lry or y articl co spic u ou

ne e e e e an e n s

on acco u t f its m o y valu Si m plicity should alway

n o ne e. s

pr sid ov r t h g tl m a s wardrob
e e e e en e n
’
e;

F ollow fashio as f as is c ssary to avoid n ar ne e e c c en

t i i ty or oddity i your costu m

r c b ut avoi d t h xtr me
n e, e e e

o f t h pr vaili g m d
e e If coat wor lo g your
n o e . s ar e n n , s

n ee d t s w p t h gro u d if th y loos yo rs m y
no ee e n ,
e ar e e, u a
‘

s till hav som fit ss f yo r figur ; if pa t loo s

e e ne or u e n a n ar e

cut larg ov r t h b oot your

e e d t cov r t h whol
e ,
s
”

nee no e e e

foot if th y a tight you m y still tak roo m to walk

, e re ,
a e .

Abov all l t your fig u r

e ,
d styl of fac hav so m
e e an e e e e

w ght i d idi g how f you

ei n ec to f ollow f ashio
n ar ar e n.

F or a v ry tall m to w ar high arrow b ri mm d

e an e a
“

, n -
e

hat lo g tail d coat d tigh t pa taloo with a poi t d

,
n -
e ,
a n n ns, n e

b ard
e d hair br u sh d u p fr m t h for h ad is
an t e o e e e , no

mor a b surd tha for a short f t m to pro m e ad t h

e n ,
a an , n e e

s tr t i a l w b road b rim m d hat loos oat d pa ts

ee n o ,
-
e , e c an n ,
 DR E s s . 1 19

an d t he latt m ad f larg plaid m at rial d y t b ur

en e o e e ,
a n e

le s ques quit as broad m y b m t w ith v ry day

e a e e e e .

An E glish writ r ridic uli g t h whim s f F ashio

n e , n e o n,

says
To b e in t he f ashio n , an E glish m a
n n mu t s w ar six e

pairs glov s i a day

of e n

I t h m or
n g h m ust driv his hu ti g wago i
e ni n , e e n n n n

re ni d r glov see e .

I h u ti g h m ust w ar glov s f ha m ois ski

n n n , e e e o C n.

T t r L o do i his tilbury b av r s k i glov s

o en e n n n ,
e e n e .

L at r i t h day to pro m ad i Hyd P ark

e n e , en e n e , c o

lor d kid glov s dark

e e , .

Wh h di s o u t color d kid gl e light

en e ne ,
e ,
ov s , .

F or t h ball roo m whit kid glov s

e -

, e e .
”

Th u s his y arly bill f glov s alo will a mou t t

e or e ne n o a

m o t xtravaga t
s e m n su .

I ord r to m rit t h app llatio of a w ll dr ss d

n e e e e n e -
e e

m an , yo u m u st pay at t tio t o ly to t h m or pro en n, no n e e

mi t arti l s f yo ur w ardrob coat pa ts d v st

n en c e o e, ,
n
,
a n e ,

b t to t h m or mi u t d tails
u e A shirt f ro t whi h fits
e n e e . n c

badly a pair f wristba ds too wid or too arro w

, o n e n ,
a

badly br ush d hat a shabby pair f glov s or ill fit

e ,
o e , an -

ti g boot will s p oil t h m ost laborat cost um P rity

n
, e e e e. u

of ski t th ails ; w ll bru sh d hair ; li f r sh d

n, ee ,
n e e n en e an

s o w y whit will m ak loth s f t h coars st m at rial

n e, e c e o e e e ,

i f w ll m ad look m or
e l ga t tha t h fi st m at rial
e, e e e n , n e ne e

o f loth if th s d tails
c , gl ct d
e e e ar e n e e e .

F r qu t ba thi g ar f ul att tio to t h t th

e en n ,
c e en n e ee ,

n ails ars d hair

, e ,i disp sabl to a fi ish d
a n , a r e n en e n e

t oil tt e e.
120 G E N LEMEN S BOOK OF E IQUE T E
T
’

T T .

Us e b ut v ry littl p rfum much

e e e e, of !
it i s in b a d
t ast e.

Le tyour hai b ard d moustach b alway p r, e ,

an e, e s er

f tly smooth w ll arra g d

ec d scrupulously cl a
, e n e ,
a n e n.

It is b tt r to cl a th t th with pi c of po g
e e e n e ee a e e S n e,

or v ry soft b ru sh tha with t ifl b rush d th r i

e , n a s
'

,
a n e e s

no d tifric so good Whit Castil S oap

en e as e e .

W ar alway glov s d boots which fit w ll d

e s e an ,
e an ar e

fr sh d whol S oil d t r glov

e an ed b oots rui
. e or o n e s an n a

costum oth rwis faultl ss

e e e e .

E xtr m propri ty should b O b s rv d i dr s B

e e e e e e n e s. e

car ful t dr s ccordi g to your m a s T gr at

e o e s a n e n . oo e

savi g m a ss too gr at xp s is extravaga c

n is e nn e ,
e e en e n e

A you g m m y foll w t h fashio

n f arth r tha
an a o e n e n a

middl g d e a
-
ld rly m b ut l t him avoid goi g t
e or e e an , e n o

th xtr m of t h mod if h would t b tak f

e e e e e e, e no e en or

an e mpty h ad d fop e e .

It is b st to mploy good tail r

e e uit f coars a o , as a S o e

b roadcloth which fits you p rf ctly d i stylish i t e e ,

a n s n ou ,

w ill mak mor l ga t dr s tha th fi st mat rial

e a e e e n e s n e ne e

b adly mad e.

Avoid cc tricity ; i t m rks

e t th m
en f g u a ,
n o e an o en i s,

b ut t h fool e .

A w el l brush d hat d glossy b oot must b

e l way ,
a n s e a s

wor i t h str t
n n e ee .

Whit glov s e th ly t b wor with full

e ar e e on on es o e n

dr s e s.

A s u f f b x watch studs sl v b utto s watch chai

n o , , , ee e -
n , -
n,

an d i g
on e r n ll t h j w l ry w ll dr es d m
ar e a e e e a e -
se an c a n
1 22 G ENTLEMEN S BOOK OF E QUE T E ’
TI T .

le c t e d duri g t h ight d th applicatio of cold

n e n , an e n

wat r q u i k s th cir ulatio at o c

e c en d s ds t h e c n n e, an en e

b lood w hi h has b m ploy d i ndig stio

c ro u d t h een e e e n n e

W hol b ody Th h ad sho uld xt b

e . d u l ss e e ne e sens e ,
n e

t h p rso
e b of f ull habit wh
e n t h h ad sho uld b
e t , en e e e a

tack d b f or t h f t touch t h cold wat r at all S o m

i

’ !

e e e e ee e e . e

p rso s a s m all ha d sho w r bath which is l ss po w r

e n us e n e , e e

f l tha t h co mm o show r bath

u n e d do s al m ost as m uch n e ,
a n e

good Th . f soap i t h mor i g b at h is

e us e o op n e n n an en

q u stio I co f ss a pr f r c f a rough t o w l or
e n . n e e e en e or e ,

hair glov B u mm ll p t i d t h latt r d p

h

a e . r e a r on z e e e , an a

pli d i t for arly a q u art r f ho u r v ry m or i g

e ne e o an e e n n .

Th a i ts f ollo w d p t h bath by a oi ti g t h
e n c en e u e n n n e

b ody d athl tic x rcis s

,
a n Th f or m r is a mistak ;
e e e e . e e e

t h latte xc ll t practic sha m f ully gl ct d

e r, an e e en e, e ne e e in

t h pr se t day It wo uld co duc m uch to h alth d

e en . n e e an

s tr gt h if v ry mor i g toil t com pris d t h vigorous

en e e n n e e e

us e o f t h d m b b lls or still b tt r t h
e u x rc s f t h
-
e , , e e , e e e i e o e

ar m s without th m Th b s t pla of all is to choos e . e e n ,

e

s o m Obj ct i your b d roo m

e e which to v t yo u r
n e -
on en

hatr d d b ox at it viol tly for so m t m i t s till

e ,
a n en e en nu e ,

t h p rspiratio
e e cov rs yo u Th po g m ust th b n e . e S n e en e

a gai appli d to t h whol b ody It i v ry d sirabl

n e e e . s e e e

to r m ai witho u t clothi g as l o g as p ssibl

e n d I n n o e, an

s ho uld th r f or r co mm d that ry part f t h toil t

e e e e en eve o e e

which o v i tly b p r f orm d wi thout dr ssi g

c an c n en en e e e e n ,

s hould b so e

Th xt d u ty th must b to cl a t h TEE H
e ne ,
en , e e n e T .

D tistsen mod r i q u isitors b t th ir tortur ro om

ar e e n n ,
u e e -
s

ar e m a t o ly for t h foolish
e n E v rybody is b or with
n e . e n

good t th d ryb ody migh t k p th m good b y

ee ,
a n e ve ee e a
 DR E s s . 1 23

prop r di t d th avoida c f s w ts d s m oki g

e e , an e n e o ee an n .

O f t h two t h f or m r
e p rhaps e t h m or da g ro
e u s ar e , e ,
e e n e .

N othi g r u i s t h t th so soo as s u gar i o s t

n n e ee n n ne
’
ea,

an d highly sw t d tarts d pu ddi gs d as it is l

ee ene an n ,
a n o

pre m i p er
g i t th
as s sho u ld
a b parti u
e on e ,lar ly e e e c

a oid d i hildhood Wh t h t th attai th ir f ull

v e n c . en e ee n e

gro w th d str gt h it tak s m u h m or to d stroy ith r

an en e c e e e e

th ir a m l or th r s ubsta
e en e ei n c e.

“It is u o t h t th tha t t h ff ts f xc ss e ee first e e ec o e e ar e

p n

d it i u p o t h t t h that t h odor f t h br a th
S e e n , an s n e ee e o e e

d p ds If I m y t y that it is a Christia du ty
e en . a no sa n

to k p yo u r t th l a I m y at l ast r mi d y
,
ee ee C e n
,
a ,
e ,
e n ou

that yo u a ot b thoro ughly agr abl w itho u t doi g

c nn e ee e n

so . L t w ords b w hat t h y m y i f th y o m w ith

e e e a
,
e c e an

i m pur odor th y a ot pl as
e ,
h b u tt rfly lov s
e c nn e e . e e e

t h sce t f t h ros m or tha its ho y

en o e e e n ne .

“Th t th sho u ld b w ll r u bb d i sid as w ll as

e ee e e e n e e

o utsid d t h back t th v
e , an m or tha
e t h f ro t ee e en e n e n .

Th m o u th sho u ld th
e b ri s d if t s ti m s en e n e ,
no e ve n e ,
a o

cordi g to th Hi d u l gislator at l ast s ral ti m s

n e n e ,
e e ve e

with f r sh cold wat r This sam pro ss sho uld b

e , e . e ce e re

p t
ea e d s v ral ti m s e a day e si c ati g s m oki e g d ,
n e e n ,
n ,
a n

so f orth at urally r d r th t th d m o u th dirty

, n en e e ee an

mor or l ss d othi g
e e b so fi
,
a n w n
p arti u larly n c an e o
’

en s e, c

to ladi s whos s s f s m ll s m s t b k r tha

e , e en e o e ee o e ee n e n

that f t h oth r o ed who d t ct at yo ur first

e s e x , an c an e e

approach Wh th r you hav b dri ki g or s m oki g

e e e een n n n .

B t if o ly f
u , yo ur w o mf ort yo u sho uld bru sh
n or o n c ,

yo ur t th b oth m or i g d v i g whi h is q uit

ee n n an e en n ,
c e

r quisit f th pr s rvatio of th ir so u d ss d
e e or e e e n e n ne an

color ; whil if you to mi gl with oth r th y

e, ar e n e
’

e s, e
1 24 G EN LEMEN S BOOK OF E TIQUE TE
’

T
’
T .

s hould b b rush d or at l ast th mouth w ll ri s d

e e , , e , e e n e

a f t r v ry m al still mor af t r s m oki g or dri ki g

e e e e . e e n ,
n n

W i n e,b r or pirits N o a m ount of g ral attra

ee , S . en e e

ti ve n e s s co mp sat for
c an o ff s v odor t h en e an en i e in e

b r ath ;
e d o of t h s s s is so fi a g tl m a
an n ne e en e ne en e n,

n o n so f g m g if o ff d d as that of s m ll
e un or iv , en e , e .

S tric t att tio must b paid to t h co ditio of t h

en n e e n n e

n ails d that b oth as r gard cl a i g d cutt g

,
a n e s e n n an in .

Th for m r is b st do
e with a lib ral supply of soap
e e ne e on

a s m all ail brush which should b us d b for v ry

n -

, e e e e e e

m al if you w ould t j ur your ighb or s app tit

e , no in e ne
’
e e.

Whil t h ha d is still moist t h poi t f small p

!

e e n ,
e n o a en

k i f or pa r of stum py ail sc ssors sho uld b pass ed

n e i n -
i e

un d th er ails so as to r m ov v ry v stig Of dirt ;

'
e n e e e e e e

th ki should b p ush d dow with tow l that t h

e s n e e n a e , e

whit hal f m oo may b s

e -
d t h fi r ski r m ov d
n e e en , an e ne n e e

with th k if r scissors O ccasio ally th dg s f th

e n e o . n e e e o e

n ails should b fil d d t h hard ski which for m e e ,

a n e n . s

rou d t h cor rs of th m t way Th mporta t

n e ne e cu a . e i n

poi t i cutti g th ails is to pr s rv th b auty f

n n n e n e e e e e o

th r shap That b au ty v i d tail is worth p ~

ei e. e , e en n e s, re

s er v m g I hav alr ady r m ark d d w may study it

, e e e e ,
a n e

as much i pari g our ails i t h grac f o u r atti

n n n ,
a s n e e o

tud s e , o r an
y oth r po t T h sha p th f t h e l in . e e, en , o e nai

sho uld pproach as arly as possibl to th oblo g

a ,
ne e, e n .

Th l gth of t h
e en ail is op q u stio L t it b e n an en e n. e e

o f t c u t bu t alway s lo g
en , m y Opi io Ab ov all n ,
i n n n. e ,

l t it b w ll
e t ed bitt
e ou , a n n ever en .

“P rhaps you t ll m th s
e childish d tails D e [
e e e ar e e . o

tails y b ut t childish Th att tio to d tails is

,
es, no . e en n e

t h tru e g of gr at mi d d h wh
e Si n i a e n
,
an e o c an n n eces
1 26 G EN LEMEN S BOO K OF E IQUE E
T
’
T TT .

soft Warm wat r a lib ral

. of th ail b rush d e , e use e n -

,
a n

no s i t f soap prod u c this am ity f m or ff t

t n o , e en ar e e ec u

ally tha ho y cold cr a m d al m o d past O f

n ne ,
e ,
a n n e;

w ari g glov s I shall p ak ls wh r b u t for w ak

e n e S e e e e e, e

p o pl who
e tro ubl d with chilblai s th y
e ar e i di s e n , e ar e n

p sabl all th y ar ro u d I will add a good p

en e e e n .
!
re

scriptio fo r t h c ur of chil blai s which

n both
e e n , ar e a

disfigur m t d e f t h p tit
en , an mi e of huma on e O e e es s r es n

R oll
fi g r i li b a dag s w th m up
t he n e s n n en n e , se e

W lle d dip th m twic or thric a day

, a n a mi ture e e in x e,

co s sti g f half a fl uid ou c f ti ctur of capsicum

n i n o n e o n e ,

d a fl u id o u c f ti ctur f Op u m
’
an n e o n e o i .

Th p rso who i e t d razors lib ll d N atu

e n d n ve n e e e r e , an

add d a fr sh mis ry to th days of m

e e e e an .

What v r P h m y say t h moustach d b ar d

e e un c a , e e an e

mov m t is e i t h right dir ectio

en on e
p m g that mn e n, r ov en

ar e b gi i g to appr c at b a u ty d to ack owl dg

e nn n e i e e an n e e

that N atur is t h b st val t Bu t it v ry amus g t

e e e e . is e in o

h ar m
e xcusi g th ir va ity th pl of h alth
en e n e n on e ea e

an d fi d th m i dulgi g i t h hid ous N wg t f rill

n e n n n e e
‘
e a e

as ki d of co mpro m is b tw
a n t h b ard d th e e e en e e an e

razor Th r was a tim wh t was thought a p

. e e e en i re

sumptio d va ity to w ar o s w hair i st ad of

n an n e ne
’
o n n e

th frightful laboratio of t h W g mak rs d th

e e ns e i -
e , a n e

fals curls w hich Si G od f r y K ll r did his b st t

e r e ne e e o

mak grac ful ca vas Who k ows that at om f

e e on n . n s e u

tur g som P h of t h tw ty fi t c tury m y

e a e e un c e en -
rs en a

t ridic u l t h w ari g f o s w t th i st ad f ’
no e e e n o ne o n ee n e o

th d e tist s ! At y rat N t k w b st d
en
’
an e a ur e no s e ,
an no

m an d b asham d of howi g his ma hoo d i t h

n ee e e s n n n e
 D RE SS . 127

hair f his fo O f razors d shavi g th r for

ace . I an n , e e e,

shall o ly p ak f rom c ssity b cau s u til v rybody

n S e ne e , e e, n e e

is s sibl
en this p oi t th y w ill still b u s d
e on n , e e e .

“N apol o shav d hi m s l f e A bor ki g said h

n e e
‘
n n
’
e,
.
,

‘
has a oth r to shav him A m ad ki g
n e hise . e n c an use

o w n razor Bu t t h w h m ad .
’
his chi w v ry e ar e e on n as e

diff r t to that h m ad
e en f or ig pot e tat s H e e on e n n e . e

took a v ry lo g tim to ff ct i t talki g b tw whil

e n e e e ,
n e e en es

to his ha g rs Th gr at m
n e ho w v r w right
-
ou . e e an , e e , as ,

an d v ry s sibl m
e e will shav him s lf i f o ly as
en e an e e ,
n an

e x r is f charact r f a m ho uld l ar to liv i

e c e o e , or an S e n e, n

e v ry d tail without assista c

e e M or ov r i m ost n e . e e , n

cas s w shav o urs lv s b tt r tha barb rs

e , e e do e e e e n e c an .

If w sh av at all w sho u ld do it thoro ghly

e e d v ry
, e u ,
a n e e

m or i g n n N othi g xc pt a f ro w
. d a hay f v r
n , e e n an -
e e ,

m ak s t h fac lo ok so
e e lov ly as a chi cov r d with
e un e n e e

short st ubbl Th chi f r q uir m ts e. hot wat re e e e en ar e e ,a

larg so f t bru sh f badg r hair a good razor so f t soap

e, o e , ,

that will t dry rapidly d a st ad y ha d Ch ap

no ,
a n e n . e

razors a f allacy Th y soo los th ir dg

ar e d. e n e e e e , an no

a mo u t f stroppi g will r stor it A good razor ds

n o n e e . n ee

no stro p If y . aff ord it you sho uld hav a cas

ou c an , e e

o f s v erazors en for a h day f t h w k so that

,
o n e e c o e ee ,

n o one shall b too m u ch us d Th r e w mu h e . e e ar e no c

s d pack t s f pap rs f a c rtai ki d

u e e o which to e o e n n on

w i p t h razor
e d which k p its dg k
e ,
an d a ee e e e e n , an ar e

s ubstit u t f th t p e or e s re .

“B ards m o u sta h s
e d whisk r hav always b c e , an e s, e een
,

most i mp orta t additio s to t h f ac I t h pr s t

n n e e . n e e en

day lit rary m e m u h giv to th ir growth d i

e n ar e c en e ,
a n n

that r sp c t ho w t c t h ir t t d th ir va ity
e e S a on e e as e an e n .
128 GE N L EMEN S BOOK
T
’
OF E QUE TE
TI T .

Le t no asham d f his b ard if it b w ll k pt

m an b e e o e , e e e

an d t f a tasti ally c u t
no Th nmo u stach ho uld bc . e e s e

k pt withi li mits Th H u garia s w ar it lo g that

e n . e n n e so n

th y e tip th
c an ds rou d th ir h ads Th styl of
e en n e e . e e

t h b ard hould b adopt d t it t h fac A broad

'

e e s e e o su e e.

f ac sho u ld w ar a larg full

e a lo g fac is i m prov d
e e, on e n e e

b y a sharp poi t d T aylor t h wat r po t wrot e

-
n e on e .
, e e e ,

ve rs s t h various styl s d th y
e on e al m ost m e , an e ar e nu

b ler e s s .Th chi f poi t is to k p t h b ard w ll comb d

e e n ee e e e -
e

an d i at trim
n ne .

“A to whisk rs it is
s t v ry m who e achi v no e e an c an e e
,

a pa r of full l gth Th r is c rtai ly gr at va ity

i en . e e e n a e n

a b out th m b t it may b g rally said that f oppish s

e ,
u e en e ne s

s hould b avoid d i this as i m ost ot h r points Ab ov

e e n n e . e

a ll th whisk rs hould
,
e v r b curl d e pull d t t
s ne e e e ,
n o r e ou o

an a b surd l gth S t ill wors is it to cut th m clos wit h

en . e
‘

e e

th cissors Th m ustach should b at d t t

e S . e o e e ne an no oo

l arg d uch fopp ri

e , an as cutti g t h poi ts th r o f
S e es n e n e e ,

or twisti g th m up t th fi ss of dl s though
n e — o e n ene n ee e

patro iz d b y t h E mp ror of th F r ch
n e — d cid dly
e e e en ar e e e

a proof of va ity If m w ar t h hair his fac n . a an e e on e

which atur h giv e him i th ma r that atur

n e as n ,
n e nn e n e

distrib ut s it k ps it cl a e d pr v ts its ov rgrowth

,
ee e n , an e en e ,

h ca ot do wro g
e nn All x travaga c s v ulgar
n . e n e ar e
,

b caus th y
e e vid c of a pr t c to b i g b tt
e ar e e en e e en e e n e er

t ha y n ; b ut a si
o u ar egl xtravaga c u support d i n e e n e n e s

p rhaps wors tha

e umb r tog th which hav t
e n a n e e er , e a

l ast t h m rit of co si t cy If you copy puppi s i

e e e n s en . e n

th e half yard of whisk r you should hav th ir dr s

-
e , e e e s

an d th ir ma e too if you would t app a doubly

n n er ,
no e r .

a b urd s .
 1 30 G EN LEMEN S BOOK OF E TIQUE TTE
T
’
.

m ass s sticki g out ov r th ars If it curl aturally

e n e e e . s n

so m uch t h b tt r but if t it w ill b

e as r to k p i
e e ,
no e e ie ee n

ord r Th xt poi t is to wash t h h ad v ry m or

e . e ne n e e e e n

i g which wh o c habitual is a gr at pr s rvativ ‘

n , , en n e ,
e e e e

a gai st cold A p i f larg br u sh s hard or soft

n . a r o
‘

e e , , a s

your cas r quir s sho uld b us d t t ham m r t h

e e e ,
“

e e ,
n o o e e

h ad with b ut to pass u p u d r t h hair as to r ac h

e ,
n e e SO e

t h roots
e A t po m at um M acassar
. d oth r i
s o , ,
an e n ve n

tio s f t h hair dr ss r I hav o ly to say that if us d

n o e -
e e , e n , e

at all it ho ul d b i mod ratio

,
S d v r s ffici tly e n e n , an ne e u en

to m ak th ir sc t p rc ptibl i co m pa y O f co u rs
e e en e e e n n . e

t h arra g m
e t will b a m att r f i di idual tast b t
n e en e e o n v e, u

as t h m iddl f th hair is t h atu ral plac f a part

e e o e e n e or

i g it is rath r a silly pr judic to thi k a m

n ,
e vai w h e e n an n o

parts his hair i t h c tr H is l ss blam abl tha n e en e . e e e n

one who is too lazy to part i t all a d has always t h ,

n e

app ara c f havi g j u st got up

e n e o n .

O f wigs d fals hair t h subj ct of satir s d

an e , e e e an

se r m o s si c t h d ays of th Ro m a E mp rors I shall

n n e e e n e ,

sa y othing h r c ptnthat th y a practical

e e ex e f als e ar e e

hood which m y so m tim s b c ssary but is rar ly

a e e e ne e ,
e

succ ssful F or my part I pr f r t h s ows f lif s

e . e e e n o e
’

w i t r to t h b s t mad p ruk
n e d v e a b ald h ad to
e e e e, an e en e

an i f r or wig
n e i .

“Wh g tl m wor arm or, d disdai d th

en en e en e an ne e use

of th ir l gs e sq u r was a e c ssity ; d w
,
a n e i e ne e an e c an

un d rsta d that i t h days f t h B au x t h w or d!

e n ,
n e o e e ,
e

g tl m a m a t a m
en e d his val t
n I m gla d to
e n an a n e . a

say that i t h pr s t day it o ly tak s

n e m to e en n e one an

m ak a g tl m a
e or at m ost a m
en e d a th n, , ,
an an nin

that is i cludi g th tailor It is

, n xc ll t thi g
n ,
e . an e e en n
 D RE SS . 1 31

f o r t he har ct r to b at d ord rly d if a m

c a e e ne an e ,
a n ,
—
an

n gle ts to b so i hi roo m h is o p to t h sa m
ec e n s ,
e en e e

t m ptatio soo r or lat r i his p rso A dr ssi g as

e n ne e n e n. e n -
c e

is th r f or a d s id ratum A los t to ha g p loth

,
e e e, e e . c e n u c

cloth s whi h sho uld

e ,
r b f old d d a s m all dr ss
c n e ve e e ,
a n e

i g roo m
n -
t to t h b d roo m
nex t so asily attai
e e -

,
a r e n o e n

abl Bu t t h m w h throws his cloth s abo u t t h

e . . e an o e e

roo m a boot i , cor r a ravat i a oth r d hi

n one ne , c n n e , an s

bru sh s a y wh r is t a m f good habits Th

e n e e, no an o . e

S p irit f ord r shoou ld t d to e v r y thi g abo u t h i m e x en e e n .

“This bri gs m to s ak f c rtai c ssiti

e s of o e n ne e e
p n e

dr ss ; th first f whi h I shall tak is a ppropriat ss

e e o c e en e .

Th e a
g f t h i d i vid
e o u al is i m p orta
e t co
n sid ratio an n n e n

i this r sp ct ;
n d a m
e f sixty is as abs u rd i t h
e an an o n e

styl f i t as a o u g m i t h high ravat Of

e o n n e e en y n an n e c

B m m ll day I k ow a galla t olo l who is m

’
ru e s . n n c ne as

t f t h c r m o i s i a gay w at ri g pla
er o e e e n e d wh n e n -
c e , an o,

af raid f t h pri m old f ashio d t

o e f his f e -
ne ou r n u r e o c on r r es

i si m ilar lo alit s
n to b s tho u gh hi hair is gray
c ie
,
i s e e en , s

an d his g t u d r fi a e nod i t y i a light n t a w ay

e ve an - -
S x ,
n cu -

th e
p g top
‘
co eti at
-
i o s d a’
t u r d do
n w nu ollar n , an ne -
n c .

It m y b what yo u g r blad s will w ar w h th y

a e n e e e en e

r a h his g b ut i t h pr s t day t h ff ct is idi

e c a e, n e e en e e e r cu

lo u s W m y th r f or giv as a g ral r ul that

i e a , e e e, e en e e,

a f t r t h t ur i g p oi t f lif a m sho uld sch w t h

e e n n -
n o e an e e e

c ha g s f f shio i his w attir whil h avoids

n e o a n n o n e, e e

c o mpl i i g f i t i t h yo u g I th latt r th
a n n o n e n . n e e , on e

oth r ha d t h obs rva

e n f th s cha g s m u st d
, e e n ce o e e n e - e

p d p artl y his tast d p artly his p ositio If

en on e an on n .

w is h w ill ado p t w ith ala rity

e, e w f ashio s whi h ne n c
y c an

i mprov th grac t h as th h alth f ul ss d th

e e e, e e e, e e ne ,
a n e c on
 G EN LEME N S BOOK
T
’
OE E TI QUE TE T .

ven i en c e of his gar m ts H will b glad of gr at r fr en . e e e e ee r

-

d m i th
o t f his cloth cloth s
n e ou f boots with lastic si d
o e , o e es

i st ad of tro ubl so m butto s or lac s of th privil g

n e e e n e , e e e

t tur dow his collar d so forth whil h will avoid ‘

o n n ,
a n ,
e e

as travaga t laborat hirt f ro ts gold bi di gs

ex n , e e S -
n ,
n n on

th waistcoat d xp siv b utto s O th oth r

e ,
a n e en e n . n e e

ha d what v r his g h will hav so m r sp ct to hi

n ,
e e a e, e e e e e s

pro f ssio e d positio i n soci ty H will r m m b

an n n e . e e e er

how m u ch t h app ara c of t h m aids a ju dg m t

e e n e e an en

of his charact r d this t st which has o f t b cri d

e ,
an e ,
en een e

dow r ality b ad
n, i s in ; f e a m who do s
no t on e or an e no

d r ss appropriat ly
e m a wa t of what is most
e ev ce s n ne

c e s s ary to prof ssio al m — tact d discr

e tio n en an e n.

“P ositio soci ty d m a ds pp p i t
n in W ll
e e n a rO
'

r a en eSS . e

k owi g t h worldly valu of a good coat I woul d y t

n n e e ,
e

ne v r r comm d a m f lim it d m a s to pi t
e e en an o e e n aS re o

a fashio abl app ara c I t h fir t plac h b com

n e e n e. n e s e, e e es

t h r b y a walki g fals h ood ; i t h s co d h

e e n ca ot e n e e n , e nn ,

without ru i g i to d bt which is a oth r t rm f dis

nn n n e ,
n e e or

ho sty ma tai th styl h has adopt d A h

ne ,
in n e e e e . s e c an

no t a ff ord to cha g his s u its as rapidly as fashio alt rs

n e n e ,

h m ust avoid f ollo w i g it i varyi g d tails

e H w ill n n n e . e

r u sh i to wid sl v s n m o th i t h h p
e eef b g
e on e n ,
n e O e o ei n

fashio abl nd b f or hi coat is wor

e , an o u t th x t
e e s n , e ne

mo th will b ri g i a arrow sl v W ca ot f
n n n n ee e. e nn
,
u n o r

t t ly lik
un a e S a m u l P pys t k
,
e lo g cloak w e e , a e a n no -
a

days to t h tailor s to b c u t i to a hort

e
’
lo g
, e n S on e,
‘
n

cloaks b i g w quit o u t as h t lls

e n no E v wh e ,
’
e e us . en en

th r is pov rty i t h cas o u r posit o m u st t

e e no e n e e, i n no

b f orgott
e Th trad s m a will wi
en . ith r c u sto m rs
e e n n ne e e

n or f i d b y ador
/
r en g hims lf i th mod of t h club
s ni n e n e e e
13 1 4
G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’

OE ETI QU E E TT .

k ow g tl m arriv at a larg pic i at m id day i

n n en e en e e -
n c -
n

co mpl t v i g dr ss d piti d th m with all my

e e e en n e ,
a n e e

h art co m p ll d as th y w r to s uff r i t ight bla k

e ,
e e e e e e , n c

cloth s u d r a h t
e , for ight ho u rs d da c af t er
n e o s un e ,
a n n e

all i th sam dr ss O t h oth r ha d if yo u

n e e e . n e e n ,
ar e

a sk d to co m
e hour or t w b f or s u s t a f t r i i
e an o e e n e , e S x n

s um m r i t h a u tu m a f t r fi yo u ca o t
e , n e by n e ve , nn err

app ari g i v g dr ss It is al ways tak as

e n n e en i n e . en a

co mpli m t to do so d if yo ur acquai t
en with yo u r ,
a n n a nc e

host ss is light it wo uld b alm ost a f a m iliarity to do

e s ,
e

oth rwis I y cas yo u d s r to avoid si g ularity

e e . n an e e i e n
,

so that if you discov r what oth rs who can i vit d e e ar e n e

i t d to w ar you
n en always d id e yo u r w
,
c an ec e on o n

attir I E urop th r is a co v i t r ul f th s
e . n e e e n en en e or e e

matt rs ; v r app ar a f t r f o u i th af t r oo i
e ne e e e r n e e n n n

mor g dr ess ; b t th gray tro s rs th r allow d

ni n u en u e ar e e e e

i st ad of black d whit Waistcoats

n e s till wor i
,
a n e ar e n n

th v i g A t y rat it is possibl to ff ct a m
e e en n . an e, e e e co

pro mis b tw t h two styl s f cost um

e e e en d if y e e o e, an ou

ar e lik ly to b call d upo to da i t h v i g it

e e e n nce n e e en n ,

will b w ll to w ar thi boots a black f rock coat d

e e e n ,
-

,
a n

a s mall bla k ck t i d to p u t a pair f l a whit

c ne -
e, an o c e n e

glov s i y _p k t You will th u s b at l ast l s

e n ou r oc e . e e e s

co spicuo us i t h da ci g roo m tha i a ligh t t w d

n n e n n -
n n ee

s uit .

“N t so t h disti ctio to b mad accordi g to iz

o e n n e e n S e.

A a r u l tall m
s r q uir lo g loth s — so m f w p
e, en e e n c e e e er

hap s v e i t h urs s s s f thos w ords

e n n — d shor t
e n e
’
en e o e an

m en short loth s O t h oth r ha d F alstaff ho uld

c e . n e e n , S

b war of J y Wr coats d fl t mpl w rapp rs

e e enn en an a ec a e e ,

Whil P t e S chl mihl d t h whol rac of thi m

e er e ,
an e e e n en ,
 D RE S S . 1 35

m u st sch w loos ss mu h i th ir gar m t as th i

e e en e as c n e en s e r

morals .

“L astl y w o m to what is appro priat to diff r t

e c e e e en

o asio s; d t hi is
cc n importa t s ubj t I hall
an as . s an n ec , S

tr at f i t s p arat ly F or t h pr s t it is s f fi i t to
e o e e . e e en u c en

poi t o u t that whil v ry m sho uld

n ,
d t o ly
e e e an a VO i no n

ex travaga b u t v brillia c f dr ss
n ce, ordi arye en n e o e on n

o asio s th r
cc so m
n ,
which h m y d o u ght to
e e ar e e on e a an

p y a m or att tio to his toil

e t denatt m pt to loo
n k gay e , an e .

O f o rs t h ev i gs
c u e, t h r m a t e F or v
en n ar e n o e e e n . e en

i g d r ss th r
n a fix d r ul f ro m w hich w
e e e is d par t e e, e c an e

o ly to b f o ppish or vulgar ; but i m or i g dr ss th r

n e n n n e e e

is g at lib ty d wh w u d rtak to mi gl with

re er er ,
a n en e n e e n e

thos w h eass m bl d avo w dly f gay ty w sho uld

o ar e e e e or e , e

no t m ak o u rs l s r ma kabl by t h di gi ss f
e e ve e r e e n ne o o ur

dr ss S he . asio s p
uc air t
o ccrtai m ts n ar e O en en e n en ,

f é t
‘
fl w sho
es , w s ar h ory m er t i -
gs m ti é ,
d i d c e -
ee n , a n es , a n

g m
en u s o w h r m u h f t h
n e, pl as u r to be ed riv d d c o e e e e e e e

p ds t h g r l ff t t h joy rs d wh r
en on e ene a e ec on e en e ,
a n e e,

if w a ot p u mp p a look f m irth w h pld t

e c nn u o ,
e S e ,
a

l ast if w go at all w ar t h s mbla

e , e f it i our , e e e n ce o n

dr ss I hav a worthy littl f ri d w h I b l v

e . e e en , o, e ie e, i s

as w ll dispos d to his ki d as L ord Sha f t sbury him s lf

e e n e e ,

but who f so m r aso p rhaps a twi g f philosophy

,
or e e n, e n e o

abo u t him f r qu ts t h gay m ti gs to which h is

,
e en e ee n e

as k d i e old coa t d a w id aw ak S o m p o pl
n an an e -
e . e e e

tak him f a wi t b u t h soo shows that h do s t

e or ,
e n e e no

as pir to that hara t r ; oth rs f a philoso ph r b ut h

e c c e e or e , e

is too good m a r d f that ; oth rs poor m ! pro

-
nne e or e ,
an

n o u him a cy i
nce d all agr d that what v r
n c , an ar e ee e e

h m y b h look out f plac

e a e, d spoils t h g
e s ral o
, e, an e en e
 GE N LEME N S BOOK OF E QUE E
T
’
TI TT .

e ff e ct
I b li v i m y h art tha t h is th mil d st of
. e e e, n e ,
e e e

m b ut will
en, t tak th tro ub l to dr ss mor tha
no e e e e e n

on c a day At y rat h has a charact r for

e . an e, e e e ccen

t i ity which I am sur

r c , pr c s ly what h wo ul d wish
, e, i s e i e e

t m d
o Tha t charact r is a m ost d light f u l
o . f e e on e or a

b ach lor d i t is g
e rally C l bs who holds it f it
,
an en e oe e ,
or

has b prov d b y statis tics that th r

e en e four si gl e e ar e n e

t marri d m amo g th i hab ita ts of our m d

o on e e an n e n n a

hous s ; b ut cc tricity yi lds r putatio whic h

e e en e a e n re

q u r s som thi g t uphold it

i e ed v n Diog s f o ,
a n e en in en e o r

t h T b i t was xtr m ly bad tast to forc h m s l f i t

“ ’

e u e e e e e i e n o

P lato v i g party without sa dals

’
s e en n d othi g b t n ,
a n n n u

a dirty tu ic h m n on i

“A oth r r quisit i dr ss is its si mplicity wit h

n e e e n e ,

which I may co u pl har m o y of color This simp li ity e n . c

is t h o ly disti ctio which a m

e n of tast should as
n n an e

pir to i th matt r f dr ss but si mplicity i p

e n e e o e ,
a n a

p m us
e a r an c e t proc d f ro m a ic ty r ality O ee n e in e . ne

s hould t b simply ill dr ss d but simply w ll dr ss d

no e -
e e ,
e -
e e ,

L ord C tl h would v r hav bas er e a pro ou c d t h ne e e e en n n e e

most disti g uish d m i th gay court of Vi a b

n e an n e enn ,
e

caus h wor e ord rs or ribbo s amo g h dr d

e e no e n n un e s

d corat d with a pro f u sio f thos va iti s b u t b c au s

e e n o e n e , e e

b sid this h was dr ss d with tast

e es Th charm of
e e e e . e

B mm ll dr ss was its sim plicity ; y t it cost him

’
ru e s e e as

m uch tho u ght tim d ar as t h port f olio f a m i

,
e , an c e e o n

ist erTh r u l s f Si m plicity th r f or

. e e th r ul o ,
e e e , ar e e es

of tast All travaga e. all spl dor d all pro

ex n ce, en ,
an

fu sio must b avoid d Th colors i th first plac

n e e . e ,
n e e,

must har mo iz b oth with our co mpl xio n e d with e n an on e

an o th ; prhaps most of all wi th t h color f our hai

er e e o r.
 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
OE E TIQUETI E .

t o win th
b st j w l a m e m. w ar hi The e e e an c an e is s

ho or L et that b bright d shi i g w ll t i p

n . e an n n , e se n ru

d c en d all oth rs m u st dark

e , an b f it B ut w e en e ore
‘

. as e

are savag s d m ust hav so m silly tri k ry to ha g

e ,
a n e e c e n

a bout u s a littl b u t v ry littl co c ssio m y b m ad

,
e, e e n e n a e e

t o u r tast i
o this r sp ct I m qui t s rio u s wh I
e n e e a e e en

disadvis yo u f ro m t h f os ri gs gold a kl ts
e d e use o n e -
n ,
n e ,
a n

hat ba ds st u dd d wi th j w ls ; f w h I
-
n ei d e e or en s e e an n cre

l
u ou s you g m f th i t th c t u ry da gli g
n an o e n n e e en en ,
n n

fro m his Wat h ha i a doz illy ch r m s (o f t t h c -

c n en S
‘
a
’
en e

o ly o s h poss ss s) w hi h hav
n ne oth r tha to
e e e , c e no e us e n

g v a f air coq u tt a l giti m at subj ct whi h t p

i e e e e e e on c o a

proach to clos r i ti m acy d which r viv d f ro m

e n ,
an are e e

th low st sup rstitio s f dark ag s d so m ti m s

e e e n o e , an e e

dark r ra s I m q u it j u st ifi d i b li vi g that so m
e ce , a e e n e e n e

S o u th Af rica hi f t ai s u ff i tlyri h to t a dash

n C e n
,
ic en c cu ,

might i trod u c w ith s u cc ss t h m ost p c uliar fashio s

n e e e e n

o f his w cou try oHow v r this m y b th r

n n l . e e a e, e e ar e a

re ady ffi i t t g i su pr val t a mo g our

c en e x r a va ar c e s e en n

yo u g m to att ck
n en a .

Th m f good tast will w ar as littl j w lry

e an o e e e e e as

possibl O ha dso m ig t ri ge . t h lit t l fi g

ne n e S ne -
n on e e n er

o f t h l f t ha d a scar f pi w hich is
e e ith r larg
n ,
-
n ne e e , n or

s howy too tricat i it s d sig

,
n o r d a light rath r
in e n e n , an , e

t hi watch g u ard with

n cross bar -
all that h o ght a -

,
a r e e u

t w ar
o Bu t if h aspir s to m or tha this h sho uld
e .
, e e e n
, e

o b s rv t h f ollo wi g r u l s
e e e n e

“1 L t t hi b r al d good F als
e ve r j w lry is
y g e n e e an e e e
'

. .

no t o ly a practical li
n b u t absol u t v ulgarity e, an e ,
Si n c e

it s usearis s from att mpt to app ar rich r or gra d r

e an e e e n e

t ha it w ar r is
n s e e .
 D RE S S . 1 39

it b si l E laborat st u ds w aistcoat b ut
2 . Le t e mp e. e ,
-

to s d w rist li ks
n ,
a n all abo m i abl Th last p -
n , a r e n e . e ,
ar

t i l ly ho u ld b as plai
c ar ,
S as possibl o sisti g f plai e n e, c n n o n

gold ovals with at m os t t h r st grav d u p o th m

, , ,
e c e en e n e .

D iam o ds d brillia ts n q uit u s uitabl to m

an n ar e e n e en,

whos j w lry ho uld v r b co s pi u o u s If yo u

e e e S ne e e n c .

happ to poss ss a si gl diam o d f gr at val u yo u

en e n e n o e e

m y w ar it
a gr at o asio s as a ri g b u t m or
e on e cc n n ,
no e

tha ri g sho uld v r b w or by a g tl m a

n on e n e e e n en e n .

3 L t it b disti g u ish d rath r by its c uriosity tha

. e e n e e n

its brillia c A a tiq u or bit f old j w lry pos

n e . n n e o e e

s ss s m or i t r st parti ularly if yo u
e e e abl to t ll
n e e ,
c ar e e e

its history tha t h m ost pl did prod u ctio f t h

,
n e S en n o e

goldsm ith s shop ’

.

4 L t it har m o iz w ith t h colors of yo u r dr ss

. e n e e e .

5 L t it hav so m
. e M should v r lik e e us e. en ne e , e

wo m w ar j w ls f m r or am t w hat v r m y
en , e e e or e e n en , e e a

b t h f ashio
e e f H u garia obl m n o d d pos d I n n n e e n , an e e n

dia rajahs w ith ja k ts cov r d with r ubi s

n c e e e e .

“Th pr io u s sto s e r s rv d f ladi s d

ec ne ar e e e e or e , an

e v o ur scarf pi s
en m or s u itabl witho u t th m
-
n ar e e e e .

“Th dr ss that is both i t d si m l rO r a e an

”

e pp p e
p a e c an

ne v r o ff d n r d r its w ar r co spi uo u s tho ugh

e en , or en e e e n c ,

it m y d isti guish him f his good tast Bu t it will

a n or e.

no t b pl asi g u el ss cl a e d f r sh nW ca ot n e e n an e . e nn

qu arr l with a poor g tl m a s thr ad bar oat if his

e en e n
’
e -
e c ,

li b pur
n en d w e that h has v r att mpt d
e , an e s ee e ne e e e

to dr ss b y o d his m a s or u s u itably to his statio

e e n e n n n.

B t t h s ight f d ay d g tility
u e d dila pidat d f ashio
o ec e en an e n

may call f orth o ur pity d at t h sam tim pro mpt a ,

a n ,
e e e

moral Y hav vid tly s u k ; w say to our

:
‘
ou e e en n en
’
e
1 40 G EN LEMEN S BOOK
T
’
OE E IQUE TTE
T .

Se lv s ; Bu t whos fault was it ! Am I t l d to sup

e
‘
e no e

pos that t h e trav ag c which you vid tly o

e ex an e e en nce

r v ll d in has b ro u ght y to what I w

e e e yo u ! ou no see
’

Whil f r sh s is ss tial to b i g w ll dr ss d it w ill

e e ne s e en e n e -
e e ,

b a co solatio
e to thos who ca ot a ff ord a h avy
n n e nn e

tailor s b ill to r fl ct that a visibl w ss i o

’

, e e e ne ne n ne s
’

l t h fi as b ad as patch s
c o es s d da m s d to r m mb r e an ,
a n e e e

that th r hav b c l brat d dr ss rs who would v r

e e e een e e e e e ne e

p ut a w coat till it had b wor two or thr

on ne e en n !

ee

ti m s by th ir val ts O t h oth r ha d th r is
e e e . n e e n , e e no

e xcus for u tidi ss hol s i t h b oots a b rok hat

e n ne ,
e n e ,
en ,

tor glov s d I d d it is b tt r to w ar
”

n e , an s o on . n ee ,
,
e e e no

glov s at all tha a pair f ull of hol s Th r

e n othi g e . e e is n n

t b asha m d of i
o e bar hands if th y e cl a n d n e ,
e ar e e n, a

t h poor e still a ff ord to hav th r hirts d ho

ca n e ei S an S es

m d d d th ir hats iro d It is c rtai ly b tt r to

en e ,
a n e ne . e n e e

s ho w ig s f at ss tha t h r v rs
S n o d y
ne d
ne n e e e e , an ou nee

s oo r b asha m d of a hol tha a dar

ne e e e n n .

O f p rso al cl a li ss I hav
e pok at such l gth
n e n ne e S en en

that littl d b said that f t h cloth s If you

e n ee e on o e e .

ar e e co o m cal with yo u r tailor you

n i b travaga t , c an e ex n

W th your lau d r ss
i Th b aux f f orty y ars back
n e . e e O e

p u t thr shirt
on s a day but xc
ee pt i hot w t h ,
e e n ea er o n e

is suffi ci t Of co u rs if you cha g your dr ss i t h

en . e, n e e n e

e v i g you m u st cha g your shirt too Th r ha

en n n e . e e s

b a gr at o u t y agai t olor d fla l shirts i th

e en e cr ns c e nne n e

plac f li e o d th m wh w ar
n en , an f thr e an o c an e on e or ee

d ays is look d as lit t l b tt r tha S t S im o S ty

e on e e e n . e n

lit s I sho uld lik to k ow h w o f t t h adv ocat s of

e . e n o en e e

li n en cha g th ir w u d r fl l d wh th r th
n e e o n n e -
an n e
,
a n e e e

Sa m rul do s t apply to wha t i

e e e to wha t s
no s s e e n as i
 G EN LEMEN S B OO K OF E IQUE E
T
’
T TT .

whi h bi ds y part f th b ody tightly mp d s th

c n an o e i e e e

circ ulatio d is th r for u h althy as w ll

n , an e e e n e e as nu

grac f ul e .

“Th c ssity for a l arg stock of li d p ds

e ne e e nen e en on

a r ul far b ttt tha B mm ll of thr hirts a day

e e er n ru e
’
s, ee S ,

viz
Cha g your li wh v r it is at all dirty
n e n en en e e .

This is t h b st g u id with r gard to collars socks

e e e e , ,

pock t ha dk rchi f s d o u r u d r g r m ts N o
e -
n e e ,
an n e a en .

rul e b laid do w f
c an e th u m b r w sho uld w ar n
’

or !
e n e e e

p er w k f ee v rythi g,
d p ds
or ecirc u m
e sta c s n e en on n e .

Thus i t h cou try all our li

n e r m ai s lo g r cl
n n en e n n e e an

tha i tow ; dirty w t or d u sty w ath r our so ks

n n n in ,
e , e e , c

g te soo dirty d
n m u s t b cha g d ;
anor if w hav e n e ,
e e a

cold to say othi g f th possibl b t t probabl

,
n n o e e u
‘

no e

cas f t ar sh d di g
e o e th d part u r f fri ds w
-
e n on e e e o en , e

shal l wa t m or tha n pock t ha dk r hi f p

e n on e e -
n e c e er

di m I fa t t h last articl f m od r civilizatio is

e . n c , e e o e n n

p t
u to so m a y us s is so m u chndis p lay d d
e , liab l to e ,
a n e

b call d i to actio
e e so ma y vario u s gag m ts
n n on n en e en ,

that w sho uld always hav a cl a

e i o u r po k ets e e n on e n c .

IVh k ows w h
’
o n it m y t s rv us is i good st ad !
en a no e e n e

Who t ll h w o f t t h cor r f t h d licat m

c an e o en e ne o e e e ca

b ric will hav to r pr s t a t ar which lik dim l t e e e en e , e cu

passag s i ov ls is l f t to t h i m ag atio
e n n e C a
‘
e e in n .
’
an

m f
an
y f
o li g call
an a disco solat
ee W
n ido w f i on n e ,
or n

sta c , d list to h wo s witho u t at l ast p ulli g

n e an en er e , e n

o u t that xpr ssiv app dag ! C e e

y e b li v en e an an on e e e e

i o u r sy m pathy if t h articl i q u stio is a dirty

n e ! e n e n on e

Th r e eso m p opl who lik t h clo u ds o ly is t

ar e e e e ,
e e ,
n ex

t w p ;
o ee d K i g S olomo an though t n of th m n, no on e e ,
 D RE S S . 143

ha s giv th m gr at o urag m t i sp aki g f th

en e e enc e en n e n o e

ho us f m o ur i g W
e o bo u d to w p wit h th m
n n . e ar e n ee e ,

an d w bo u d to w p l ga tly
e ar e n ee e e n .

A m whos e dr ss is at lan sim pl d p e ne , c e a n , e , an a

p p rO i t w ill pass
r a e, m u st r a y w h r e n e e .

“A w ll dr ss d m edo s t r quir so m u ch
-
e e an e no e e an

t siv as vari d w ardrob H wa ts a dif f r t

e x en e a e e. e n e en

c ostum for v ry s aso e d v ry oc asio ; b u t if

e e e n an e e c n

w hat h s l cts is si mpl ra th r tha t iki g h m y ‘

e e e e e n s r n , e a

app ar i th sam cloth s as o f t as h lik s as lo g

e n e e e en e e , n

as th y f r sh d ap pro priat to t h s aso d th

e ar e e an e e e n an e

Obj ct Th r
e . fo ur ki ds f coats whi h h mu st
e e ar e n o c e

hav a mor i g coat a f rock coat a dr ss oat d

e n n -

,
-

, e -
c ,
a n an

ov r coat A
e -
o o m ical m m y do w ll with f o u r
. n ec n an a e

o f th first e d f ach f t h oth rs p a u m

,
a n on e o e o e e er nn .

Th dr ss f
e
g etl ma i t h pr s t day sho u ld
o a en t e n n e e en no

cost him m or tha th t th part f his i co m e n e en o n e on an

av rag Bu t as f ort u s vary mor tha positio i f

e e . ne e n n,

his i o m is larg it will tak a m u ch s m all r propor

nc e e e e

tio if s m all a larg r

n, If a m how v r mi s i e on e . an , e e , xe n

so i ty d I writ f thos w h do th r
c e ,
a n so m e or e o S O, e e ar e e

thi gs w hi h i disp sabl to v t h prop r dr ss

n c ar e n en e e en e e e

i g
n ,
d v y o casio will hav its pro p r attir
a n e er c n e e e.

I his w ho u s t h
n d i t h m or i g th r is
o n e en , an n e n n , e e

no r aso Why h sho uld t w r o u t his old cloth s

e n e no ea e .

Som m e tak to t h d light f ul as f a dr s i g go w

en e e e e e o e s n -
n

an d li pp rs ;
S d if ba h lors th y do w ll
e an If f a m ily c e ,
e e .

m it will p robably d p d
en , wh th r t h lady or t h e en on e e e e

g tl m a w ars t h pa tal o s Th b st w al k i g
en e n e e n o n . e e n

dr ss f a
e pro f ssio al m is a s uit f tw d f t h
or n on -
e n an o ee o e

sam color ordi ary b oots glov s t too dark f t h

e , n ,
e no or e
 GE N LEMEN S BOOK OF E T QUE E
T
’
I TT .

coat a scarf with pi i wi t r

, s m all ti of a n n n e , or a e on e

color i s u mm r a r sp ctabl black hat d a ca Th

n e , e e e an ne. e

l ast it m p rhaps t h most i m porta t

e is e d tho u gh i t e n , an s

use vari s with fashio I co f ss I m sorry wh I

e n, n e a en s ee

it go out Th b st s ubstitut f a walki g stick is

. e e e or n -
an

u m br lla t a parasol u l ss i t b
e , no giv you by a lady n e e en

t carry
o Th m ai poi t f t h walki g dr ss is t h
. e n n o e n -
e e

harmo y f colors b ut this hould t b carri d to t h

n o ,
s no e e e

e xt t f M d M lt
en o wh so m y ar ago mad a
. e a z an , o e e s e

b t to w ar
e othi g but pi k at B ad B ad f a
e n n n en -
en or

whol y ar d had b oots d glov s f t h sa m liv ly

e e ,
a n an e o e e e

h ue H.

y o his wag reb ut also t h soub ri q u t f

v n L e , e e o e

Diabl fl m m e Th walki g dr ss should vary

e en a .
’
e n -
e ac

cordi g to t h plac d hour I t h cou try or t

n e e an . n e n a

th e sid a straw hat Wid awak m y tak t h

s ea -
e or e -
e a e e

plac f t h b av r d th uisa c of glov s b v

e o e e e , an e n n e e e e en

disp s d with i t h for m r B ut i th city wh r

en e n e e . n e e e a

m an is suppos d to mak V sits as w ll as lou g i t h e e i e n e n e

s tr t t h f rock coat of v ry dark b l u

ee , e b lack or a e e or ,

b lack cloth c u t away t h whit w i t t d lav d

-

,
e e a s c o a , an
‘
en er

glov s al m os t i disp sab l V ry thi b oots should

e ,
a r e n en e . e n

b avo d d at all ti m s
e i e d what v r cloth w ar e , an e e es on e e s

t h y hould b
e S w ll b rush d Th shirt wh th r s
e e e . e ,
e e een

or t hould b quit plai Th shirt collar ho l d

no , S e e n. e S u

ne v r hav color
e t but i t may b
e a stiff or t ur d on i ,
e ne

dow accordi g t h w ar r is B yro ically or B r um

n n as e e e n

m lli lly dispos d

e ca Th scar f if si m pl d of m od st
e . e ,
e an e

color is p rhaps t h b st thi g w

s, e w ar ro u d th e e n e c an e n e

ne ck ; b ut if a ck t i pr f rr d it hould t b too ne -
e is e e e S no e

lo gn ti d i too stiff d studi d a m a r Th

, n o r e n an e nn e . e

can should b xt r m ly simpl a m r stick i fact

e e e e e e, e e n ,
1 46 GEN TLE MEN S BOOK OF E IQ U E TTE ’
T .

I might w ar li app e dic s i sum m r d f

e nen n e n e , an ur c o n

ti ti
nua i wi t r I w o u ld
on s t groa n b u t i t is t h
n e , no n, e

e v i g dr ss that i flicts t h m w h lik s soci ty

en n -
e n on e an o e e

th e c ssity f w ari g th sam tryi g cloth all t h

ne e o e n e e n e

y ar ro u d so that u d r B or as h catch s colds d

e n ,
n e e e e ,
a n

u d r t h dog star h m lts This u m tio abl b u t

n e e -
e e . n en n e,

mos t c ssary disguis of t h hu m a fo m divi is

ne e e e
‘
n r n e,
’

on e that v r var s i this cou try d th r for I

ne e ie n n ,
an e e e

must lay do w t h r ul n e e

—
F or all v i g w ar black cloth tro u s rs
e en n e e .

B ut th tortur s f v i g dr ss d e t d wi t h e o e en n e o no en

our lo w r l i mbs O f all t h i i qui ti s p rp trat d u d r

e . e n e e e e n e

t h R ig of T rror
e e o has last d so lo g as that of
n e ,
n ne e n

t h strait jack t which was pal m d ff

e -
t h p o pl
e , e o on e e e as

a habit d co mpag i
‘
If it w r c ssary to si g
e n e.
’
e e ne e n a

hy m f prais to Rob spi rr

n o M arat d Ce I wo u ld e e e, ,
a n o .
,

rath e tak t h guilloti as my subj ct to xtol tha t h

r e e ne e e n e

s wallo w tail A d y t w d u r th stiff s u sight

. n e e en e e ne s, n

li ss u co mfortabl ss d wa t of gr c f t h l t
no ,
n en e ,
an n a e o e a

t with m or r sig atio tha that w ith w hich Char

er , e e n n n

lott Corday p t h b autiful ck i to t h trou d

e u er e ne n e
‘ ’
en

f of t h for m r F ortu at ly m od r r p ubl a sm

er
’
e e . n e e n e ic ni

has trium ph d ov r ci t tiqu tt ed t h tail coa t e an en e e e , an e -

of to day is loos r d mor asy tha it was tw ty

-
e an e e n en

y ar s ago I ca o ly say l t u s v r striv to mak

e .
t
n n , e ne e e e

it b arabl till w hav abolish d i t L t us abj u r

e e, e e e . e e

s uch vulgariti s as ilk collars w hit silk li gs d so

e S ,
e ni n
,
a n

forth whi ch att m p t to b au tify this m o strosity as a

,
e e n ,

ha g ma might wr ath his gallo w s wit h ros s Th

n n e e e . e

plai r th ma r i which y w ar your mis ry th

ne e nn e n ou e e , e

b tt r
e e .
 D RE S S . 147

h agai t h b la k w aist oat stiff tight d

T en , n, e c c , , ,
a n

co m f ortl ss F a y F l t fl i a ball dr ss s u h as w
e . nc a s a n -
e c e

no w w ar N mou t
e . f m broid ry gold tri m m i g
O a n o e e ,
-
n s,

or j w l b u tto s will r d r s u h
e e -
i flictio grat f ul
n en e c an n n e

to t h m ass Th b st pla is to w ar thoro ugh m o ur

e . e e n e n

in
g f yo u r wr ort h d ss I F ra c d A m
e c ri a e ne . n n e an e c ,

t h cool r whit w aistcoat

e e adm itt d How v r as w
e is e . e e , e

h av it l t u s m ak th b st f it d t parad o u r
e ,
e e e e o ,
a n no e

mis ry by hid o u s or am tatio Th o ly v i g

e e n en n. e n e en n

waist oat f all p ur pos s f a m f tast is

c or of e or an o e on e

S impl bla k w ith t h mpl st possibl b u tto s

e c , e Si e e n .

“Th s thr it ms v r vary f di n r party m f

e e ee e ne e or n e -
u
,

fi w orry ball Th o ly disti ctio allo w d i i t h

’
n -

,
o r . e n n n e s n e

nec k ti F or di r t h op ra d balls this must b

-
e . nne , e e ,
a n , e

whit d t h s m all r t h b tt r
e , an It ho uld b too of
e e e e e . S e ,

a w ashabl t t u r t silk
e e tt d
ex ha gi ge, n o n or n e ,
n o r n n

dow f
‘

n , n or o
y f o pp ish prod u tio b u
an t a m pl whit c n, Si e, e

ti e, Witho u t m broid ry Th bla k t i is ad m itt d f

e e . e c e e or

e v i g parti s d sho uld b q u ally si mpl Th

en n e , an e e e. e

S hirt f ro t wh i h fig ur s u d r th t i sho uld b pla

-
n ,
c e n e e e e in
,

with u pr t di g s m all plaits Th glov m u st b

n e en n . e e e

whit t y llow
e, R
no tly i d d a f ashio h
e . ecen ,
n ee , n as

S pr u g u p f w ari g lav d r glov s i t h v i g

n o e n en e e n e e en n .

Th y e co o mi al d as all co o my is abo mi a
ar e e n c ,
a n e n an n

tio m u st b avoid d G lov s sho uld al w ays b w or

n, e e . e e n

at a ball At a di r party i to w th y sho uld b

. nn e -
n n e e

w or t ri g t h roo m d dra w fl f di r '

n on en e n e ,
a n n o or nne .

W hil th ha d w m u st avoid t h awk w ard s

e, on e on e n , e e ne s

o f a galla t aptai w h w ari g

n glov s at
s ea c -
n o, e n no e a

da c xc u s d him s lf to his part r by sayi g N v

n e, e e e ne n ,
‘
e er

mi d miss ,I
n , wash my ha ds wh I do da c c an n en
’
ve ne n
1 48 GE T N LEMEN S BOO K ’
OE E I QUETTE
T .

i n g, w e
-
hav
’
d th pr s t day to copy th
e n o nee ,
i n e e en , e

Ro m a g tl m a m tio d by A th
n en u s who wor
e n en ne e n ae , e

glov s at di r that h m ght pick his m at f ro m th

e nn e e i e e

hot di h s mor rapidly tha th b ha d d gu st s

'

s e e n e ar e -
n e e .

A to glov s t t
s pa ti s d so forth w
e a g rally ea -
r e an , e ar e en e

s af r with tha without th m If it is quit a s mall

e n e . e

party w may l av th m i our pock t d i t h

, e e e e n e , an n e

cou try th y e scarc ly xp ct d to b wor ; b t

n e ar e e e e e n u

‘
touch t a t b ut with a glov ; you
no always afer
ea e
’
ar e s

with th m e .

“I must t quit this subj ct wi thou t assuri g m ys lf

no e n e

that my r d r k ows m or about it w t ha h did b

ea e n e no n e e

for I fac t I hav tak

e. n thi g for gra t d e en on e n n e ,

th t h k ow what it is to b dr ss d a d what
a e n s e e e ,
n un

d r ss de Of cours I do
e . t suppos him to b i t h e no e e n e

b lissfu l stat f g ora c t h subj ct o c

e o j oy di n n e on e e n e en e

b y our first par ts I t h word dr s d d en . use e s es e

’
an
‘
nu

dr ss d rath r t h s s m a t b y a military tailor

e e
’
e in e en e e n
,

or a cook with r f r c to a sal a d You d tb e e en e . nee no e

s hock d I am e of thos p opl who w ar sp ctacl

. on e e e e e e es

for f ar of s i g a ythi g with t h k d y I am

e ee n n n e na e e e.

t h soul of scrup u losity

e B ut I m wo d ri g wh th . a n e n e er

e v ryb o d y arra g s hi war drob as o u r u gra mm atical

e n e s e n

n urs us d to do ours u d r t h h ads of b st s co d

es e ,
n e e e e , e n

b st third b st
e ,
d d k ows what thi gs ought
-
e ,
an
’
s o o n , an n n

b plac d u d r ach T b u dr ss d i to b ‘ ’
t o e e n e e . o e n e e s e

dr ss d for work d o di ary occupatio s t w ar

e e an r n n , o e a

coat which you do t f ar to spoil d a ck ti Whi ch no e ,

a n ne -
e

your i k sta d will t obj ct to b t your ac quai ta c

n -
n no e ,
u n n e

might T b dr ss d . th oth r ha d si c b y
o e
‘
e e , o
’
n e e n ,
n e

dr w ho w
es s sp ct for ci ty t l arg
e s th
ou r r e e so e a e, or e
 1 50 G EN TLEMEN S B OO K OF E IQUE T E ’
T T .

o rat or a m t or s s l ss fashio i troduc d o f t

e n en , en e e ns, n e , en ,

b y tailors f th ir w profit G ood dr ssi g is to w ar

or e o n . e n e

as littl j w lry as po sibl to b scr u p ulo sly at

e e e s e, e u ne ,

cl a
e d f r sh a d to c rry your cloth s as if you did
n , an e ,
n a e

t giv th m a tho u ght

’

no e e

“Th too th r
en , a scal of ho or am o g cloth s
e e is e n n e ,
,

which must t b f orgott Thus a

no w coat i m or
e en .
,
ne s e

ho orabl tha
n old
e a t a w ay or hooti g oa t
n an one, cu -
S n -
c

t ha a dr ss i g gow a fro k coat tha a c u t a way a

n e n -
n, c -
n -

dark bl u f rock coat tha a b lack f rock coat a tail—oat

e -
n -

,
c

t ha a frock coat
n Th r is -
ho or at all i a blu
. e e no n n e

tail coat how v r xc pt a g tl m a of ig hty

-

,
e e , e e on en e n e ,
a o

co mpa d with brass butto s d a b fl w a stcoa t

ni e n
‘

an u i .

Th r e e m or ho or i
is old h u t g coat tha
e n a n an n in -
n in

ne w i a u f or m with a b u ll t hol i it tha

on e , n ni e e n n o ne

Witho u t i a fu stia j a k t
,
n d s m ock f rock tha i n c e an -
n n a

frock coat b au s th y
-

,
typ s f labor which is f
ec e e ar e e o , ar

mor ho orabl tha lo u gi g A gai light loth s

e n e n n n . n, c e ar e

g rally plac d abo dark o s b caus th y ca ot

en e e ve ne , e e e nn

b e so lo g wor d
n th r f or proo f s fn, an ar e , e e e, o ex

p end i t li m o
ur e , ay which i asthis w orld is ne ,
n a
'

c o ni

m dit y m or ho or d tha
o v ry oth r ; b ut
e n t h oth
e n e e e ,
o n e er

ha d tast f ul dr ss is always m or ho orabl tha that

n ,
e e _
e n e n

, which has o ly cost m u h L ight glov sn m or c . e ar e e os

tee m d tha dark o s

e d t h pri c of glov colors is
n n e , an e n e e -

un d iably,lav d r
en en e .

I sho uld say Jo s w a fast m said a fri d to

‘
ne as an ,
’
en

m e on e day f h w ars a whit hat If this id a of

,
‘
or e e e .
’
e

my co m pa io s b right f st s m y b said to co sist

’
n n e ,
a n es a e n

m a ly i p c uliari ty
in n Th re c rtai ly o ly st p . e e is e n n one e

f r m t h su b limi ty of fas t ss to t h ridiculous

o e s f ne e nes o
 DRE s s . 1 51

s n obb e r r y, a n d it is t al w ays asy to say wh r t h no e e e e

on e en ds d t h oth r b gi s A da dy
an e t h oth r e e n . n
,
on e e

ha d is t h lo t h s
n ,
m e ct a m i eloth s a on a
‘

an , n o an n c e ,

li i g l y figu r wh d isplays m u h dr ss d is q uit

v n a e o c e ,
an e

S atis fi d if yo u prais it witho u t taki g h d f him A

e e n ee o .

b ar i i t h o pposit tr m ; v r dr ss d o u gh
e s n e e ex e e ne e e e en ,

an d al w ays v ry ro u ghly ; b u t h is al m ost as bad as t h

e e e

oth r f h sacrific s v rythi g to his as d m

e , or e e e e n e e an co

fort Th ff ha d styl f dr ss o ly s uits

. e o -
n ff h a d e o e n an o -
n

chara t r It was at c e . ti m th f shio t aff ct a ,

on e e, e a n o e

ce rtai glig n ne w hich was call d po t i

en c e, d s u pp os d e e c , an e

to b th r sult f g iu s A ill t i d if t positiv ly

e e e o en . n v e ,
no e

un ti d ravat w a s ur ig of u bridl d i m gi a
e c as e S n an n e a n

tio ; d a w aist oat w h ld tog th r by

n an c b utto as e e e on e n

o ly if t h s w lli g so ul i t h w ar r s boso m had

n ,
a s e e n n e e e
’

burst all t h r s t If i additio to this t h hair w

e e .
,
n n , e as

u br ush d d urly yo u w r c rtai f passi g f

n e an c , e e e n o n or

f so ul I should t r co mm d y yo u g g
’
‘
m an o . no e en an n en

tl me to d pt this styl u l ss i d d h
an a e m o ut h e, n e ,
n ee , e c an

a gr at d al d has a good sto k f q u otatio f ro m

e e ,
a n c o ns

t h p o ts
e It is f
e . to how m th clouds u l ss o n o us e S e e , n e

I c an
p o iti ly yo
s u i th
ve m d a m
see o u t f n e ,
a n no n o ne

l
g g i
’

i
en ceyo u r dr ss n d p rso w ill co vi me
y an e n n nce e ou

ar e a g iu s u l ss yo u prod u
en ,
t
n e vol um f ce an o c a ve e o

po m s pu blish d by yo u rs l f I co f ss I m glad that

e e e . n e a

th e ne l
g gi styl
’
so co m m o
’
e i ov ls f
e,t y ars ba k n n n e o en e c ,

has b s u c d d by at ss What w w a t is r al
e en c ee e ne ne . e n e

e as i t h loth s d f my part I sho uld r joi to

e n e c e , an ,
or ,
e ce

see t h K i k rbo k r styl g

e n c rally ado pt d
e c e e en e e .

“B sid s t h ordi ary occasio s tr at d of b f or

e e e n n e e e e,

th r e e v ral p cial ccasio r quiri g cha g

ar e se e s e o ns e n a n e
1 52 G EN LEMEN S BOOK OF E TIQUE E
T TT .

Of dr s M ost of our sports tog th r with marriag

e s .
,
e e e

( w hich som p opl i clud i sport

e s) com u e d r thi e n e n , e n e s

h ad N ow t h l ss cha g w mak th b tt r i t h
e .
, e e n e e e e e e n e

pr s t day p rtic ularly i th sports wh r if w

e en , a
'

n e , e e, e ar e

dr ss d with crupulous ccuracy w

e e liab l to b
s a , e ar e e e

s ubj ct d t compariso b tw
e e o au cloth s d n e e en o r e an o ur

S kill A m wh w ars
. d coat to hu t i
an should o e a re n n,

b e a b l t hu t ed t s o ak through gat s or do dg
n , an no ne e e

o v r gap A f w r m ark
e s dr ss s wor i diff r t
. e e s on e e n n e en

S ports may b us ful H m g l aid dow t h rul that e e . av n e e a

s trict accuracy of porti g costum is lo g r i good S n e no n e n

t ast we, dis miss shooti g d fishi g at o c y ith

e c an n an n n e, v

t h war i g t h at w must
e n n t dr s w ll for ith r A e no es e e e . n

O l d coat wit h larg pock ts gait rs i cas d if e e , e n one e , an ,

ne c ssary l arg b oots i th oth r thick sho s at y

e , e n e e , e an

t
r a e, a wid awak d w ll fill d b ag or b ask t t
e -
e, an a e -
e e a

th e en d of th day mak p most r spe cta b l ports , e u a e e e S

m an f t h l ss r ki d
o Th for crick t you wa t
e e e n . en e n

n othi g mor u usual tha fla l trous rs which houl d

n e n n nn e e , S

b q it plai u l ss your club has adopt d som col r d

e u p n, n e e e o e

s trip th r o e color d fla l hirt of v ry viol t

e e n, a e nn e S no e en

h ue , th sam color d cap sho wi th pik s i t h m

e e e , es S e n e ,

an d a gr t coat ea .

F or hu ti g lastly you hav to mak mor cha g

n n , ,
e e e n e,

i f o ly to i sur your w comfort

n n d sa f ty e Thu o n an e . s

c ord b r ch s d so m ki d of boots
-
ee e i disp sab l
an e n ar e n en e

S o ar e pur hu ti g whip crop ; so too if y

S s, s o a n n -
or , o u.

d o t w a
no hat i th stro g rou d cap t hat is t
e r a ,
s e n n o

s av you valuab l skull from cracki g if you throw

e r e n ar e n

on y u h ad Aga I should pity t h m who wd ld

o r e . i n, e an u

a tt mp t t hu t i fr ck c t
e o dr coat ; nd
n n a o -
oa or a . ess -
a a
1 54 G NTE LEMEN S B OO K OF E TIQUE TTE ’
.

C H A P TE R V I I I .

M N R A L Y E! E C I SE S .

B O D LY x r s I of th most mporta t m a
e o a e is on e e i n e ns

prov d d b y atur f t h m ai t a c of h alth d

i e n e or e n en n e e ,
a n

i
n ord r to prov t h adva tag s f x rc s w must
e e e n e o e e i e, e

S how w hat is to b x r is d w hy x c ssary

e e e c e ,
e e r C Is e i s n e e ,

an d th var o u s m od s i which it m y b tak

e i e n a e en .

Th hu m a b ody m y b r gard d as wo d rful ‘

e n a e e e a n e

machi t h various parts f which

ne, e so Wo d r f ully o ar e n e

a dapt d to ach oth r that if

e e b distur b d l l must e , one e e a

s uff r Th bo s d m uscl s
e . e t h parts of t h h
ne an e ar e e e u

m an fra m whi h m otio e ou Th r f ouc n e e ar e r

h u d d muscl s i t h body ; ach

n re has rta
e n e e on e ce in

fu ctio s to p rf or m whi h ca ot b dist u rb d witho u t

n n e ,
c nn e e

da g r to t h whol Th y assist t h t do s i k p
n e e e . e e en n n ee

in
g t h bo s th ir
e pla s ne d put t h
in m motio e ce , an a e in n.

Wh th r w w alk or
e e sit or s toop b d t h m
e r un , ,
en e ar or

h ad or ch w our f ood w may b sa id to Op

e ,
e d sh u t ,
e e en an

a u mb r f hi g s or ball d sock t j oi ts A d it
n e o n e ,
an e n . n

is a W s provisio f at r that to a c r t ai xt t ,
i e n o n u e, , e n e en

t h mor t h muscl s
e e rcis d t h stro g r do th y
e e ar e e xe e , e n e e

b co m ; h c it is that labor rs
e e en d artisa
e e an ns ar e

s tro g r nd mor mu cul ar tha thos p r o who

n e a e s n e e s ns se
 M AN L EXER S E S Y CI . 1 55

li s ve ar e pass d i e n e asy o c u p atio s or pro f ssio al d

c n e n u

ti s e .

B e sid e s str gth i g th li mbs m u sc ular

en r is
en n e ,
e xe c e

has a m ost b fi ial i fl u en er spiratio n d t h

c n en ce on e an e

c ir latio f th blood Th larg r blood v ss ls

cu n o e . e e -
e e ar e

g rally plac d d p a m o g t h m u scl s co s q u tly

en e e ee n e e , n e en

wh ent h latt r e p t i to m otio

e t h blood
ar e is driv u n n, e en

thro ugh th art ri s d v i s with m u h gr at rapi

e e e an e n c e er

d ity tha wh th r is
n enr is ; it is m r m e e n o exe c e o e co

p l t
e e ly p u rifi d as t h tio f
e t h ,
i s sibl p p i e ac n o e n en e er s ra

t io is pro m ot d w hi h r li v s t h blood f m a y irri

n e ,
c e e e e o n

tati g m att rs chi fly arbo i acid d c rtai salts

n e ,
e c n c an e n ,

tak p i its passag thro ugh t h syst m d a f l

en u n ,
e e e ,
an ee

i g f light ss
n o d ch r f ul ss is di ff u s d ov r body
ne an ee ne e e

an d mi d n .

W h av said that a good stat f h alth d p d i a

'

e e e o e e en s n

gr at m as ur
e e t h prop r r is f ll th m l
e on e e e xe c e o a e u s c es .

Bu t looki g at th gr at r portio f o u r i d u strial

on n e e e n o n

—
populatio artisa s d w ork rs i f a tori s g rally
n, n an e n c e ene

—w fi d th m i u m ro u s i sta s sta di g or sit

e n e ,
n n e n nce ,
n n

ti g i f orc d or u tural p ositio s u si g o ly a f w

n n e nn a n ,
n n e

o f th ir m u s l s whil t h oth rs r m ai
e c e , o mp arativ ly e e e e n, c e

s p aki g u u s d or i acti
e n ,
n S a w y rs fil rs tailors
e n ve . e , e , ,

an d m a y oth rs m y b
n asily r cog i d as th y w alk
e a e e e n ze e

th e str ts by t h a wk ward m ov m t d b ari g im

ee , e e en an e n

pr ss d u po th m by lo g habit Th t pi g posi
e e n e n . e s ee n

tio s p ially t lls m ost f atally u po t h h alth w a rs

n e ec e n e e e ve
,

S ho mak rs d otto s pi rs hav g rally a sallo w

e e ,
a n c n -
nn e e en e

an d si kly a p p ara
c v ry diff r t f ro m that f thos
e n ce , e e en o e

whos o upatio do s t r q uir th m to t p or t

e cc n e no e e e s ee , o

re mai lo g i hur tf l post ur Th ir co mmo fl

n n n a u e . e n a
'

eo
 1 56 GEN LEMEN S BOOK OF
T
’
ETI QUE TE T .

tio s n dig stio

ar e d dull h adach
in with gidd s
e n an e e, i ne s

e sp cially duri g sum m r Th y attribut th ir m

e n e . e e e co

plai ts to two caus s

n of which is th post u r of t h e , on e e e e

b ody b t f tw lv or thirt
, en hours day t h oth r
or e e e en a ,
e e

t h h t of t h worki g room
d ea e n -
.

B sid s t h t rad s abov

e e u m rat d th r
e ma y e e en e e , e e ar e n

o th rs prod u ctiv of imilar vils by t h positio i t

e e S e e n n o

which th y co mp l workm or by th clos

e d e en , e e an c on

fi d plac s which th y
ne carri d ; nd oth rs
e in e ar e e on a e ,

a gai i t h ir v ry at u r s i jurious Plumb rs d

n, n e e n e n . e an

pai t rs suff r from t h o ious m at rials which th y

n e e e n x e e ar e

co sta tly usi g gri d rs d fil rs from dust d

n n n ,
n e an e ,
an

b ak rs fro m xtr m s of t mp ratur

e ed irr gular ho u rs
e e e e e an e .

Wh a th r is physical d pr ss o th r is a disposi
e r ev r e e e e i n, e e

tio to r sort to i j i sti mula ts ; d t h ti m of

n e
“ n ur r us n an e e

re li f fro m work is g rally p t

e t v gorati g en e S en , n o in in i n

th a im al fra m b u t i aggravati g complai ts d

e n e, n n n ,
an

co v rti g f u c tio al i to org ic dis as

n e n n n n an e e .
”

Bu t th r oth rs who fl f ro m artificial poiso

e e ar e e sn er ns

an d d f ctiv x rcis as w ll as artisa s d Op rativ

e e e e e e e n an e es

l, -
th u m rous class of shopk p rs ; t h author a bov
e n e ee e e e

e
“
quot d says W k af t r w k pass s without aff ordi g ee e ee e n
,

th m e p u r i spiratio O f t also th y hav

on e e n t n. en , ,
e e no

e xe rcis v i t h Op e e i f t h tow ; a fu rlo g

en n e en a r o e n n
’
s

walk to ch ch S u day b i g t h
ur xt t of th i
on n e n e e en e r

r a mbl s Wh th y hav t h Opportu ity th y wa t

e . en e e e n e n

t h i cli atio
e n for x rcis Th f ath r is a xious about
n n e e e. e e n

his trad or his fam ily th m oth r is solicitous ab out h

e , e e er

childr E ach has littl tast for r cr atio or a mus

en . e e e e n e

m t en Th various disord rs g
. e rally k o w u d r e ,
en e n n n e

th eam of i d ig stio disord rs d p da t a wa t

n e n e n, e e en n on n
 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
OF E IQUE
T TT E .

on t he co trary m a y s riou r sults oft fol l ow ov r

n ,
n e s e en e

f atig F or t h sa m r aso it is d sirabl to avoid

ue . e e e n e e ao

tiv e e xe rtio i mm diat ly a f t r a full m al a t h f o u

n e e e e ,
s e n

datio f h ar t dis as s is so m tim s laid by l api g or

n o e e e e e e n

r u i g af t r ati g Th gr at obj ct ho uld b so t

nn n e e n . e e e S e o

bl d r is d r p os as to s ur t h high st pos
en e xe c e an e e, en e e e

sibl a m o u t f b odily igor It m u st b r coll ct d

e n o v . e e e e

that xhaust d muscl s

e b r stor d o ly b y t h mos t
e e c an e e e n e

p rf ct r st
e e e .

I th n xt plac it is a mistak to co sid r th lab o

e ne e, e n e e r

o f t h day as qu ival t to x rcis

e e Work g rally en - e e e. ,
en e

S p aki g is a m r ro uti proc ss carri d with b t

e n , e e ne e ,
e on u

l i t tl vari ty of circ u m sta c s

e e a co fi d atmosph r n e , in n ne e e,

an d i a t m p ratur f r q u tly mor

n e e xhaustiv tha e e en e e e n

r storativ
e Th work m a
e . r q ir s so m thi g m or
e n e u e e n e

an this to k p him i h al th ; h must hav x rcis

ee n e e e e e e

as o f t as possibl i t h op
en — i fi lds ,parks
e n e en ai r , n e ,
o r

pl asur g d d ; b u t if th s
e e r un t at his co mm a d
s e e ar e n o n ,

str ts of th t w al w ays op to him d

’

th e ee e o n ar e en ,
a n a

Walk i th s is b tt r tha
n e e walk t all Th m r e e n no a . e e e

cha g f n e o is b ficial d i w alki g h g r lly

, s c en e ene ,
an n n e ene a

se ts i motio a di ff r t t of muscl s fro m thos h

n n e en se e e e

h s us d whil at work
a e e .

T d r v t h gr at st a m ou t of good fro m x rcis

o e i e e e e n e e e,

m u st b e combi d with a mus m t d b mad ne e en , an e e

p l b
e as ur e al d r cr a tiv T
e an his i m porta t fae t o u gh t e e. n c

ne v r to b lost sight f c to ig ora c of it alo

e e o , Si n e n n e ne

w e o w m a y f th
e vils w hich fl i t soci ty A d it
n o e e a c e . n

wo ld b w ll if thos who hav b acc u sto m d to loo k

u e e e e een e

on social a mus m ts as d structiv of th morals of th

e en e e e e

p e op l w ould
e, co sid r h w much good may
n b d b ye o e on e
 M AN LY EXER SE S CI . 1 59

givi g t h mi d a dir ctio w hi h w hil pro m otiv f

n e n e n c ,
e e o

h alth w o uld fill it with ch r f ul ss d w a i t f ro m

e ,
ee ne an e n

d basi g habits Th charact r f o ur ports at t h

e n . e e o S e

pr s t tim partak b ut littl f t h rob u st d bois

e en e, e e o e an

t ro u s pirit f o u r for f ath rs ; b u t wi t h th r fi m t

o S o e e e e ne en

o f a m u s m ts t h o pp ort u ity f
e en j oyi g th m h
,
e n or en n e as

b gri vo usly dim i ish d Ch r g sig s f a b tt r

een e n e . ee i n n o e e

stat f thi gs
e o how v r visibl i m a y q u art rs
n ar e , e e , e n n e ,

an d w trust that t h good work will b

e arri d u til e e c e on n

t h whol of o u r pop u latio

e e shall b i poss ssio f t h n e n e n o e

m a s d l is u r f pl as urabl r cr atio
e n an e e or e e e e n.

Whil i dulgi g i t h r cr ativ p orts which

e n n to n e e e e S ar e

r stor
e d i vigorat us w m u st b m i d f u l f t h
e an n e ,
e e n o e

ma y poi ts f tiqu tt d ki d ss whi h will do

n n o e e e an n ne c

m u ch if pro p rly att d d to to pro m ot t h joym t

,
e en e , e e en en

o f o u r x r is d w pr pos to r vi w t h pri ci p al
e e c e , an e e e e e e n

e x rcis s s d a m o g us d to poi t o u t i what pla s

e e u e n ,
an n n ce

t h d licat
e ed g tl m a ly att tio to our compa io
e an en e n en n n ns

will do t h m ost to stablish f th p rso who practic s

e e ,
o r e e n e

th m t h r putatio f a polish d g tl ma
e , e e n o e en e n.

RIDING .

Th r a mus m ts probably which giv

e e ar e n o e en , , e us s o

wid a scop f th r d r g f att tio to a fri d

e e or e en e in o en n en

as ridi g d drivi g Acco mpa i d as w m y b at

n an n . n e , e a e

an
y ti m by ti m id co m pa
e,io s t h pow r to co vi c n n , e e n n e

th m by t h m a ag m t f t h hors w rid
e , e d th
n e en o e e e e , an e

wat h k pt at th sam ti m
c e th irs that w e m e e on e ,
e ar e c o

p t t to t th part f co mpa io d gu ardia will

e en ac e o n n an n,

en abl us to imp rt to th m a gr at d gr Of r lia c

e a e e e ee e n e on
 G E N LEMEN S BOOK OF E IQUE TTE
T
’
T .

u s , an d will b y l ss g th ir f ar do much to ha c e
, e en i n e e en n

th joym t of t h c u rsio
e en en e ex n.

With ladi i p rtic ular a hors m a ca ot b t

es , n a ,
e n nn e oo

car ful to display a r gar d for t h f ars of th ir m

e e e e e co

pa o s d b y a co sta t watch
ni n , an ll t h h ors s i t h n n on a e e n e

cavalcad to sho w at o c his ab ility d willi ng ss t

e, n e an ne o

a ssist hi co m pa io s s n n .

Th r f w p rso s co m parativ l y sp aki g

e e ar e e ve n , e e n ,
e en

a m o g thos who rid oft

n who
e prop rly assist e en , c an e a

l ady i m ou ti g h hors
n A ov r a xi ty to h lp
n n er e . n e -
n e e a

l ady as grac f ully as possib l g rally r ults

e e, en e es i n a n er

vous tr m bli g ff ort which i xc di gl y disagr a b l

e n e s e ee n ee e

t t h l dy
o e d at t h Sam tim
a ,
a n da g rous ; for w r
,
e e e, n e e e

th hors to shy
e e tart h could t b asily
or s , e no e so e

q ui t d b ye e rvou m a by ne who was p rf ctly s an a s on e e e

c ool I th mou t th lady must gath r h skirt i t

. n e n e e er n o

h l ft ha d
er e d sta d clos to t h hors h
n ,
a n fac to n e e e, er e

ward his h d d h right hand r sti g t h pomm l

ea ,
a n er e n on e e .

Th g tl m a h vi g ask d p rmissio t
e en e n, ssist h
a n e e n o a er ,

s t a ds at t h hors s ho uld r faci g th l dy d st p ’

n e e s e , n e a ,
an ee

i g low h plac s his right ha d at

n , e p p
e l vatio n a rO er e e n

fro m t h grou d Th lady th plac s h l ft foot

e n . e en e er e on

th g tl m a pal m d h rai s hi ha d h
e en e n s
’

, a n as e se s n s e

S pr g slightly h right fo t d thu r ach s t h

in s on er o , an s e e e

S addl Th g tl ma must t j rk his h d pward

e . e en e n no e an u ,

b ut lift it with g tl motio Thi m t hdd of mou t

a en e n s e n

in
g pr f
isra b l to st p
e e or hors bl ock e K p a fi m a e e -
. ee r

ha d for si ki g fe t hold will di mi ish th co fid c

n ,
a n n e -
n e n en e

o f a lady h scort d i ma y cas caus h

in er e ,
a n ,
n n es e er

unn e c ssary alar mwhil mou ti g T y

e who e n n . o an on e is

l ik ly t b c ll d t
e o e t c vali t l adi s hors
a e on o ac as a er o e in e
1 62 G EN TLEMEN S B OOK ’
OE E QUE E
TI TT .

co tro l of th hors Th s xami atio s should

n e e . e e e n n n ever

b l ft to t h
e e t b l h lp as th co ti ual har ssi g of
e s a e e s, e n n ne n

hors b y th m oft l ads to a loos d

es e l Sway en e e an c ar e e s

of att di g t such matt rs which though mi gly

en n o e , , s ee n

t iV l m y l ad to s riou
r Ia , co s qu c s
a e e s n e en e .

O t h road th co sta t ca
n e f t h g tl ma should
, e n n re o e en e n

b to r d r t h rid a gr a b l t his co m pa o
e en e e b y th e ee e o ni n, e

poi ti g out of obj cts of i t r st with which h may

n n e n e e S e

t b ac q u i t d th r f r c to y p li b ty
’

no e a n e , e e e en e an ecu ar e au

o f la dscap which may hav

n scap d h otic
e d e e e er n e , an a

g ral liv ly to of co v rsatio which will if h b

en e e ne n e n,
, s e e

timid dra w h m i d fro m th fa ci d da g rs f hors

,
er n e n e n e o e

b ack ridi g d r d r h n xcurs o much mor agr

,
a n en e er e i n e ee;

a bl tha if h b l f t to im g horrors wh v r h
e n s e e e a ine a
en e e er

hors may prick up his ar or whisk his tail A d

e e s . n ,

whil thus e mg k p y always

c o n ve r s t h lady , ee an e e on e
’
s

hors so that i cas h should r ally g t f right d

e, n e e e e en e ,

you m y b r ady b y your i structio d assista c t

a e e n n an n e o

a i d t h lady i q ui ti g his f ars

e n e n e .

I dismou ti g you should o ff r you right ha d t

n n n e r n o

t h lady l ft d allo w h to l a st
’
e s e
y f t
,
a n p er us e ou r e as e

t o dismou t g tly d cli i g it as soo

n on , th lady
en e n n n as e

h as l ft h s at
e th saddl
er d just b f or
e h
on e e , an e e s e

S pr gs M a y ladi spri g f rom t h sad dl but thi

in . n es n e e, s

g rally co f s s t h g tl m a
en e d is da g ro u s t
n u e e en e n an n e o

th lady for th hors m y m ov at t h i sta t h

e , e e a e e n n s e

S pri g which would i vita bly thro w h b ackward d

n s, ne er an

might r sul t i s rious i jury

e n a e n .

D RIVING .

In t he i dul g c
n en e of this b e autiful pa tim
s e t hr e e ar e
 MAN L Y EXER C SE S I . 1 63

ma y poi ts of car d att e tio to b obs rv d ; th y

n n e an n n e e e e

w ill r d r to th driv r hi m s lf mu ch gratificatio by

en e e e e n

th co fid c th y will i s pir i his compa io by

e n en e e n e n n n,

havi g th k owl dg that h or h is b i g driv by

n e n e e e s e e n en

a car f ul hors m a e d th u s k owi g that hal f f wha t

e n, an n n o

da g r may att d th pl as ur is r m ov d
n e en e e e, e e .

O r achi g t h door f your co m pa io s r sid c

’
n e n e o n n e en e,

who w w ill s uppos to b i this as a lady tho ugh

m e — e e n c e ,

th e sam att tio m y w ll b x t d d to a g tl

e en n a e e e en e en e

m an ,— driv clos to th m o u ti g block or curb d

e e e n n -

,
an

by h adi g your hors to ward th middl f th road

e n e e e o e ,

an d slightly ba ki g t h w go s parat t h f or d
c n e a n, e e e e an

hi d w h ls t h sid
n t th block as mu ch as possi
ee on e e n ex e

bl e .This gi s roo m for t h lady to sc d i to t h

ve e a en n e

wago with ou t soili g h dr ss by r ubbi g agai st

n n er e n n

e ith r tir ed also giv s t h driv r roo m to l a ov r

e , an e e e e n e

d tuck i to t h wago part a lady s dr ss that ’

an
y n f e n an o e

may ha g out af t r h is s at d
n e s e e e .

I assisti g t h lady to asc d i to t h wago

n n e th en n e n, e

b st d saf st way is to t i t h hors firm ly to a hit h

e an e e e e c

i g pos t or tr
n -
d th to giv to your co mpa io t h
e e , an en e n n e

i d f both yo u r ha ds ; b u t i cas f th r b i g
‘

a o n ,
n e o e e e n no

post to which you mak t h r i f ast th followi g c an e e e n ,

e n

r ul m y b adopt d
e a e e :

Grasp t h r i s firmly with ha d d draw th m

e e n on e n ,
an e

j ust tight o gh t l t th hors f l that th y a

‘

en u o e e e ee e re

h ld d with t h oth r ha d assist th lady ; u d r

e , a n e e n e n e no

C irc umsta c s v with th most q u t hors sho uld

n e , e en e ie e,

yo u plac a lady i your v hicl w ithout g hold

e n e e an on

th hors f altho ugh m a y hors s wo uld sta d p

e e, or , n e n er

f tly q ui t th whol rac of th m

ec e , timi d d y
e e e e ar e ,
an an
1 64 G EN TLEMEN s B
’
OO K or E TIQUE TTE .

s udd ois or motio may tar t t h m i which cas

en n e n s e ,
n e

t h li f of your co mpa io may b da g r d I t h

(

e e n n e en n e e . n e

light 6 3 or Y k wago
92 0 1 0 )
-
which i w s d al m os t or n, s no u e

en tir ly f pl asur driv s t h right ha d cushio n

e or e e e , e n

s hould l ways b high r b y thr or four i ch s tha th

a e e ee n e n e

l ft for it ra s s t h p rso drivi g ; thu givi g him

e ,
i e e e n n s n

mor co trol d r d rs t h lady s s at mor com fort

e n ,
a n en e e
’
e e

a bl d mor
e an af It is mistak id a i drivi g
e s e . a en e ,
n n ,

that it shows p rf ct hors ma to driv fast O th

a e e e n, e . n e

co trary g d hors ma is mor car ful of his hors

n ,
a oo e n e e e

t ha a poor n d m starti g t h hors is always l

o n e , an n e e a

l ow d to go slowly f tim; as h gradually tak s up

,

e or e e e a

q uick r pac e d b co m s warm d up t h driv r may

e , an e e e ,
e e

push him to th t p of his sp d for som dista c

e ve n e 0 ee e n e,

a lways how v r allowi g him to slack his pac toward

,
e e , n en e

th e d of his driv
en d t com t th toppi g plac e, an o e o e s n -
e

a t m od rat gait
a e e .

E d avor b y your co v rsatio

n e , t h road t mak n e n on e , o e

th ri d agr abl to your co mpa io N v r try t

e e ee e n n. e e o

S h w f o your drivi g but r m mb r that th r is

o n , e e e , e e no

on e who driv s with so m uch appar t as d so lit tl

e en e e an e

display as t h prof ssio al jock y who as h d vot

e e n e , ,
e e es

his lif to t h m a ag m t f th r i s m y w ll b sup

e e n e en o e e n ,
a e e

pos d to b t h m os t thoroughly good whip

e e e .
”

I h lpi g t h lady out f t h wago

n e n t h sam rul
e o e n, e e e

must b obs rv d as i t h star t ;

e a m ly to hav yo u
e e n e n e , e r

hors w ll i ha d or fir m ly t i d
e e n S hould your n m e . co

pam o b a g tl m a d hors m a t h court sy is

n e en e n an a e n, e e

a lways to fi him t h r i s tho gh th o ff r if m ad

o er e e n , u e e , e

to yours lf by a oth with whom you

e ridi g should
n er ar e n ,

a lw y b d cli d ; u l ss i d d th h rs hould b
a s e e ne n e , n ee , e o e s e
1 66 G EN TLEMEN S B OO K ’
or E TIQUE TE : T

be worst d i th gam your ki d ss d court sy t

e n e e, n ne an e o

him will b ck owl dg d b y y e a who may b w ithn e e an on e e

you d b y ,
an m or r adily tha your a tago ist
no on e e e n n n

h im s lf Th s sam rul s apply to th art f f ci g

e . e e e e e o en n ,

t h m ost grac fu l
e d b auti f ul f m L t your
e an e o e xe r s es . e

o ppo t hav his ch oic of t h foils d sword glov s

n en e e e an -
e ,

giv him t h b st pos tio for l ight d i your thrust

e e e 1 n , an n s

m m b r tha t t mak hit do s t r q uir you t ”

re e e o e a e no e e o

forc your foil as viol tly as you

e ag st yo u r en c an ai n an

i t b r ast ; b ut that v ry touch will ho w if yo r

’
t g a on s s e ,
e e S u

foils b chalk d d t h e who has t h most pots

e an e on e e S
”

a t th d of t h cou t er is th b at m
e en e en n e e en an .

LING SAI .

Withi f w y ar th r has b
n a most d cid d
e e s e e e en a e e

mov m t i favor of aquatic pursuits S carc ly a tow

e en n . e n

c an b fou d ar t h
e or th b a k f
n ,
n e e sea on e n o a r 1v e r

b ut what ith fu r ish yacht or b arg I al l

c an e er n a a e . n

o ur pri cipal ci ti s th n avi s of yachts d b arg e e n e

”
an es

n u mb r ma y b oats Th b arg club s particularly

e n . e e ar e

w ll fit t d with activ h althy m who

e -
e
pp m t e, e en, can a re a e

t h phys al b fit of a f w hours work at t h d of ’

e 1e en e e e en a

s ixt foot sw p d who pr f r h alth d b list r d

e en -
ee ,
a n e e e an e e

h a ds to a li f of fashio abl
n d u h althy a m us m t
e n e an n e e en .

U d r t h h ad of saili g w will giv om hi ts of

n e e e n e e s e n

e tiqu tt to sail g d rowi g tog th r A g tl m

e e as in an n e e . en e

w ill v r parad h s up riority i t h s acco mplishm ts

ne e e lS e n e e en ,

s till l ss boast f it b u t rath r that t he oth rs may t f l

e o , e , e no ee

t h ir i f riority h will k p co sid rably withi his p w

e n e ,
e ee n e n o

er s If gu st or tra g r b of th p rty t h b s t
. a e a s n e e e a , e e

p l c mu
a e t b ff d t him th
s u gh h me o
y b b d r er e o , o e a e a a oa
 MAN LY EXER C SE S I . 167

b ut at th sam ti m if a g u st k o w s his i f riority i this

,
e e e, e n n e n

r s p t h w ill for m or r aso s tha

e ec ,
e p r
, f r i f e e n n on e, e e an n e

rior positio S too wh a c rt i a m o u t f rtio

n. o, , en e a n n o e xe n

is r qu ir d as i b oati g a w ll br d m will o ff r to
e e ,
n n , e -
e an e

ta k t h gr at r shar p ull t h h avi st oar d will

e e ,
e e e, e e e ,
an

ne v r shirk his work I short th whol r ul f good

e . n ,
e e e o

ma rs
nne such occasio s is t to b s lfish d t h
on n no e e ,
a n e

most amiabl m will th r f or b t h b s t br d It i

e an e e e e e e e . s

ce rtai ly d sirabl that a g tl m a sho uld b abl to

n e e en e n e e

ha dl n oar or to st r d work ya ht both that

e an , ee an a c ,

wh h has Oppor tu ity h m y acquir h alth d

en e an n e a e e ,
an

that h m y b abl to tak part i th har mi g xcur

e a e e e n e c n e

s io s which m ad by wat r O rul hould apply

n ar e e e . ne e S

to all th s aq u atic c u rsio s d that is that th g

e e ex n ,
a n , e en

tl me w h i vit s t h
an ladi s should th r b y d
o n e e e , e e e an ,
a n

who is th r f or at th tro ubl f g tti g up t h party

, e e e, e e o e n e ,

s ho uld alw ays b allo w d to st r th boat u l ss h e e ee e ,

n e e

d li th post f h has t h adva tag f m or i ti

ec ne e ,
or e e n e o e n

mat acquai ta c with t h ladi s who m h will hav to

e n n e e e , e e

en et rtai th trip d th post f ho or should b

n on e ,
a n e o n e

giv him as a co mpli m t to his ki d ss i

en d t k en n ne n un er a

i g t h pr li m i ari s
n e e n e .

HUNTING .

G e n tl em e n
r sidi g i th cou try d k pi g e n n e n ,
a n ee n a

stabl g rally r ady to joi t h h u t cl ub W

e , ar e en e e n e n . e ar e

g ad ually f alli g i to t h E glish s p orts d pastim s

r n n e n an e .

Cri k t bo i g d h u ti g
c e , b i g mor d m or
x n ,
a n n n ,
a r e e n e an e

practi d v ry y ar d o ur hors m
ce e e d pugilists e ,
a n e en an

as pir to co q u r thos f B ritai w h a f w y ars

e n e
‘

e o n, en e e

b ack t att m pt such thi g would h v b

,
o e co si a n a e een u
1 68 C E N TRE ME N S
’
BOOK OF E TIQUE E TT .

d r d folly I thi cou try t h orga izatio f hu t

e e . n s n e n n o n

cl ubs is m ad as m u ch to rid t h cou try of th f ox

e e n e es as

t o enjoy t h por t W d ifi m uch f rom t h B rito s i

e S . e
’

er e n n

ou r hu ti g ; W hav o f t
n n hilly da g rous cou try
e e en a n e n ,

with high wor m d post d rail f c s crossi g it d p an -

an -
en e n , ee

s tr ams with p p t sid s d sto y gr u d to rid

e r e c1 1 o us e an n o n e

ov er W hu t i cold w ath wh
. e th ngrou d i n e er en e n s

froz hard d w tak v rythi g as i t is hills f c s

en ,
an e e e e n
, ,
e n e ,

s tr ams d h dg s riski g our cks i um rabl

e , a n e e , n ne nn e e

t mI m hu t I E gla d t h hu t rs hav a fl t
es a n . n n n e n e e a

c ou try f c s which do t c mpar to our i h ight

n , en e no o e s n e ,

an d th ey hu t f t a frost wh t h grou d so f t
n a er en e n is .

“
O ur hu ti g fi ld t t h m t d o s t show t h
n n e a e ee
”
e no e

gaudy quipm t d top b oots of E gla d b ut t h

e en an -
n n , e

plai dr s of th g tl m a far m r so m tim s a b lu

n e s e en e n e , e e e

c oat d j ock y cap b t o f t r t he v ry day coat d

an e -

,
u en e e e -
an

f lt hat b ut t h tiqu tt of o ur hu ti g fi ld i mor

e ,
e e e e n n e s
‘

o b s rv d tha i E gla d Th r
e e
y n j o
n s t h n n . e e an on e in e

m t if it a larg
ee , but h r Is t rs t h fi l d e on e , e e n o on e en e e e

l s ac quai t d with
un e s or mor of th g tl m
n e on e e e en e e n on

t h grou d
e Th r u l s i t h h u t
n . f w d i m pl
e e n e n ar e e an S e.

N v r att mpt to hu t u l ss y ha a fi s at i t h
e e e n n e ou ve ne e n e

s addl d a good hors e an d v r acc pt t h loa of e , an ne e e e n a

fri d s hors still l ss

en
’
m y s u l ss you rid v ry
e, e an e n e
’

,
n e e e

w ll A m m y f org v you f b k g his d gh

e . an a i e or 1 ea 1n au

t r s h art b u t v r for br aki g his hu t r s k

’ ’
e e ne e e n n e nec .

A oth r poi t is al ways to b qui t at a m t

n e n ,d v e e e e , an ne er

joi u l ss acq u ai t d with so m

n on e n e t h fi ld n e e on e In e e .

P luck skill d a good hors

,
ss tials i h u ti g
,
an e ar e e en n n n .

N v r talk of your hi m t avoid thusiastic shout

e e ac ev en s, en

i g wh
n
y b r ak cov
en r d d out rid v r t he e , an o no e o e e
17 0 .
G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
CE E TIQUE TE T

b e for e add our w i structio

we to th ti qu tt of o n n n as e e e e

th kati g grou d
e S n n .

“B for goi g th i
e t h you g skat r must l ar
e n on e c e, e n e e n

t put
o th skat s d may also l ar to walk wit h
on e e , an e n

th m asily i roo m bala ci g alt r at ly

e e n a ach ,
n n ,
e n e ,
o n e

foot A skat r s dr ss sho ld b as loos d i m

. e
’
e u e e an un n cu

b r d as possib l
e e All fu ll ss f dr ss s xpos d to t h e . ne o e 1 e e e

wi d A th x rcis f kati g produc s p rspiratio

n . s e e e e o S n e e n,

fla l xt t h ch st should rs d loi s is c ssary

nn e ne e e ,
e ,
a n n ,
ne e

t avoid t h
o vils of sudd chills i cold wa th r
e e en n e e .

“E ith r v ry ro u gh or v r s m o oth i should b ce

ey e e e

a void d Th p rso who for t h first tim att m pts to

e . e e n ,
e e, e

s kat m ust t trust to a sti k H m y tak a fri d

e, no c . e a e en
’
s

ha d for support if h r q uir s ; bu t that should b

n , e e e on e e

s oo r li q u ish d i or d r to bala c hi ms l f H will

n e n e ,
n e n e e . e ,

probably scra mbl about f half ,

ho u r or so till h e or an , e

b g s to fi d out wh r t h d g e f his ska t is Th

e in n e e e e o e . e

b gi r must b f arl ss b ut
e nn e t viol t; v i e e e , no en n or e en n

a hurry H should t l t his f t g t apart d k p

. e no e ee e ,
an ee

hi h ls still
s ar r tog th r H must k e p t h a kl
ee ne e e e . e e e n e

o f th foot th i e q uit fi m ; t att m pti g to g

on e ce e r no e n al n

th dg of t h kat b y b di g it b cau s t h right

e e e e S e en n ,
e e e

mod of g tti g to ith r dg is b y th i cli atio of

e e n e e e e e n n n

t h whol b ody i t h dir ctio r quir d ;

e e d this i l i
n e e n e e an no

atio hould b mad f arl ssly d d w ly Th

z

n n S e e e e an e C Is e . e

l g which i
e th i should b e k pt p r f tly straight ;
s on e ce e e ec

for though t h k m ust b so m what b t at the tim

,
e nee e e en e

o f t i k g it must b straight
s r ln d as q uickly as possi
, e ene

bl w ithout j rk T h which is h should “

e y l g an ff t i e . e e o e ce

l b k p t traight t hough t tiff h vi g

a so e e s asy , no s , a n an e
 M AN L EXER SE S Y CI . 171

bu t straight play t h t p oi ti g do w w ards d th ,

e oe n n n ,
a n e

h l f ro m i to t w l i h s f t h oth r
ee s x e ve nc e o e e .

“Th l ar r m u st e t look do w
e at t h i
ne at no n e c e , n or

his f t to h w th y p rf orm H m y at first i

ee , see o e e . e a , , n

cli his body littl f or w ard f af ty b u t hold his

ne a e ,
or s e ,

h ad p d w h r h go s his p rso r ct d his

e u ,
an see e e e e , e n e e an

fa rath r l vat d tha oth r wis

ce e e e e n e e.

“Wh o ff ,h m u st bri g both f t u p tog th r

en n ce o e n ee e e ,

an d strik agai as soo as h fi ds hi m s lf st ady

e n, n e n e e

en o u gh rar ly allowi g both f t to b

,
e th i to n ee e on e ce

g th r Th positio f th ar ms sho ld b asy d

e e . e n o e u e e an

vari d ; eb i g always m or rais d tha t h oth r

on e e n e e n e e ,

this l vatio b i g alt r at

e e d t h cha g corr s
n e n e n e , an e n e e

po di g to that f t h l gs ; that is t h right m b i g

n n o e e ,
e ar e n

rais d as th right l g is p u t do w
e e d i i so e n , an v ce ver s c ,

that t h m d l g f t h sam sid m y t b rais d

e ar an e o e e e a no e e

tog th r Th f ac m u st b al w ays t ur d i t h di
e e . e e e ne n e rec

tio f th li i t d d to b d scrib d H c i
n o e ne n en e e e e . en e n

b a k w ard kati g t h h ad w ill b i cli d much ov r

c S n , e e e n ne e

th ho uld r ; i f orward skati g b ut lightly All

e S e n n , S .

Su dd d viol t actio
e n an m ust b avoid d S toppi g
en n e e . n

may b caus d by slightly b di g th k s drawi g

e e en n e n ee n

th f et tog th r i cli i g th body f or ward d pr ss

ee e e , n n n e ,
an e

i g
n th h ls It m y b also caus d b y tur i g
on e ee . a e e n n

Short to th right or l f t t h f o t th sid to which

e e , e o on e e

w tur b i g rath r m or adva c d d s upporti g

e n e n e e n e ,
a n n

part f th o e

Wh th i i f you sho u ld g t yo u r skat s

en o n e b
c e, e e on e

for your co mpa io always w ait f him ; f

e n othi g n, or or , n n

i mor disagr abl tha b i g l ft b hi d

s e ee occa e n e n e e n on an

Walk r s Ma ly E r is s 3 e
’
n xe c e .
172 GEN LEMEN S BOO K
T
’
CE E TIQUE TTE .

sio of this ki d B r ady at all tim s wh skati g

n n . e e e en n

to r d r assista c to y
en e ith r l ady or g tl
n e an on e , e e en e

m an , who may r q ui r it A g tl m m y b disti e e . en e an a e n

g i
u s h d at eall ti m s by t h w i ll i g w i
e t h which h e n n es s
’

will giv up hi port to r d r him s l f agr abl d

e s S en e e ee e an

ki d to y
n i difficulty
an on eS hould you havn of . e on e

t he kati g sl ds
S much us d for taki g ladi s t h
n -
e so e n e on e

ice
,
d hould yo
an S w l adi s if you uracco m pa d
o n e , ar e ni e

by y an t d sir
,
n o to it th most b mm g thi g
e e use , e eco n

you do is to plac i t at t h disposal of y oth

c an e e an er

g tl m a who has ladi s with him d who

en e n t pro e ,
a n Is no

v i d d wi t h such a co v ya c
e n e n e

Always k p to t h right i m ti g ee p rso eth n ee n a e n on e

ic e , an d always skat p r f ctly cl ar of t h li i which

e e e e e ne n

a lady adva ci g wh th r h b
IS n n kat s or foot
,
e e s e e on S e on .

A tt tio to t h oth r
en n is wh r m or appr ciat d
e e s ex no e e e e e

t ha n thon i wh r th y
e ce,u l ss good kat rs e e e ar e , n e S e ,

co mparativ ly h lpl ss B lways pro mpt to ass st i

e e e . e a i n

th e tricatio f y
ex who may b r ak through t h
n o an on e e e

ice, b ut l t your z al b t m p r d b y discr tio

e e d e e e e e n , an

a lways g t a rop o ladd r if possibl i pr f r c t

e e r e e, n e e en e o

goi g ar th hol ; f th r is gr at risk f your br ak

n ne e e or e e e o e

i g thro u gh yours l f
n d da g ri g your w lif e ,
a n en n e n o n e

without b i g abl to assist t h p rso alr ady sub

e n e e e n e

m rg d B ut sho uld th rop or ladd r t b

e e . e e e no e c on

i t t h b st m thod is to lay fi t
ve n e n ,
e e your br ast
e a on e on

d push yo u rs l f ca u ti ou sly alo g u til you

‘

th e Ic e , a n e n n c an

t o u ch t h p rso s ha d d th l t him climb b y i t

e e n
’
n ,
a n en e

out of th h l e o e
174 C E N TLE MEN S
’
B OO K CE E TIQUE TTE .

you doi g th lik call to him to l t go his support th

n e e, e , en

tr ad wat r u til y g t his ar ms th should rs of

e e n ou e on e e

yo u r mp co d yours l f d th swim g tly to

a n l o n an e ,
a n en en

shor S hould you b alo th utm ost you

e . do i e ne, e c an s

to l t him hold hi support whil you tr ad wat r a

e s e e e ne r

hi m u t il furth r ass ista c

n b obtai d If you
e n e c an e ne .

ar e alo d h has support l t him r st

n e an e arm no ,
e e on e

a cross your should r put of yo u r ar m s b hi d hi e , on e e n s

b ack d t h ha d u d r his ar m pit

,
a n e d tr ad wat n n e ,
a n e er

un til h lp arriv s N v er l t a m in th s circ u m

e e . e e an e e

sta c s g p you i
n e y way
r as partic u la ly if h b n an ,
r e e

fright d f you may b oth b drow d ; but try t

en e ,
or e ne
,
o

cool d r assur him b y t h i tr pidity of your w

an e e e n e o n

mov m ts d h will b saf ly d asily pr s rv d

e en ,
a n e e e an e e e e .

C RICKE T .

Wh i t h crick t fi l d w must allow ours lv s t

en n e e -
e e e e o

t r i t t h full p irit of t h gam ; b ut w must t

,

en e n o e S e e e no

a llow th xcit m t of t h play to mak us forg t what

e e e en e e e

is d to oth rs d to ours lv s A g tl asy d

ue e an e e . en e, e ,
a n ,

a t th m tim g tl m a ly m a r may b as
e sa e e, en e n nne , e

s um d Always o ff r t your com pa io s t h

e . of e o n n e use

your privat bat if th y t si m ilarly provid d ; f

e ,
e ar e n o e or

t h bats b lo gi g to t h cl u b o f t
e e los t h spri g i
n n e en e e n n

t h ha dl e fro m co sta t
e n d a fi m b at with a good n n u s e , an r

S pri g will prov v ry acc ptab l I this w y you

n e e e e . n a

gratif y t h play r d as a r ward for yo u r ki d ss

e e , an ,
e n ne ,

h m y fro m b i g w ll provid d scor mor f o t h

e a ,
e n e e ,
e e r e

s id tha h would with i f rior or wor out tools

e n e n e n -
.

This gam is mor pur ly d mocratic tha e

y w e e e n an on e e

k ow f
n d t h most ar stocratic of g tl m
o , an take i en e en es
 MAN L Y EXER ISE S 17 5 C .

s o d ra k f t h tim to t h m ost humbl crick t r

ec n n ,
or e e, e e e e ,

i f t h latt r b t h m or s k ill f ul
e e Bu t a good play r is
e e e . e

no t al w ays a g tl m a d t h d i ff r c i c u ltivatio
en e n , an e e en e n n

m y always b disti guish d

a A g tl m
e w ill n e . en e an n e ve r

d rid y
e e an for his bad play on e giv v t to oaths ,
n o r e en ,

or stro g pith ts if disappoi t d i t h playi g f

n e e ,
n e n e n o on e

o f his sid If h has to ask a oth r play r f

e . e
y n e e o r an

thi g h do s so i a way to stablish his claim to g

n ,
e e n e en

t ilit y “M ay I tro ubl you f that ball ! or Will “ e or

”
.
,

you pl as to ha d m that b at !
e e m u ch pr f rabl to
n e
”
ar e e e e

H r you ! b all th r ! or Clum sy do t carry fi

e e, e e
”
, ,
n
’
o
’

that b t ! Agai if a g tl m a mak s a m istak him

a
”
n, en e n e e

s lf h should always ack owl dg it qu i tly d v r

e , e n e e e ,
an ne e

start a stormy discussio as to t h m rit s f his batti g n e e o n

or fi ldi g I fi pr s rv t h sam calm d m a or

e n . n n e, e e e e e e e n

i t h fi ld that you would i t h parlor how v r d ply

n e e n e , e e ee

you t r i to th xcit m t f th gam

en e n e e e en o e e.
1 76 G EN TLE MEN S B OO K ’
CE E TIQUE TTE .

H A P TE R I X C .

RAV L N G T E I .

IN thi cou try wh r l adi s tr v l much al o

n e e es a e so n e, a

g tl ma h ma y opportu iti f maki g t hi

en e n as n n es o n s un

prot ct d stat pl
e e t Th r ma y littl
e a
‘

e a s an on e . e e ar e n e

co urt i s which you m y fi t a l ady wh trav l

es e a o
'

er o en e

i g v
n if h is
, e en tir stra g r t you d b y
s e an en e n e o ,
a n an

i of r sp ct f u l d f r c
a r e you may plac h
e tir ly e e en e, e er en e

a t h as with you v if you

er e e b oth you g , e en ar e n .

Wh t rav li g wit h l ady your duti comm c

en e n a , es en e

wh you en pr s t d to h as scort If h i
ar e e en e er an e . s e s

p rso ally a stra g r h will pro b ab ly m t you at th

e n n e , S e ee e

w harf or car d pot ; b ut if old a quai ta c youe an c n n e,

s hould o ff r to call for h at h r sid c Tak

e er er e en e . e a

h ack d call l avi g am pl tim for l as t sp ch s d

,
a n , e n ,
e e ee e an

far w ll t ars If h ha d y h purs to d fray

e e e . s e n s ou er e e

h xp s s r tur i t to h if you stop for y l gth

er e en e , e n er an en

o f ti m at plac wh r h may wish to mak pur

e a e e e S e e

chas s If you mak

e . stop upo your jour y k p e no n ne , ee

t h purs u til you

e e at your d sti atio
n d th a r r 1 ve e n n , an en

re tur it If h do
n t g v
. you th mo y for h
s e es n o i e e ne er

e xp s wh you tart you had b st pay th m yo u r

en es en s , e e

s lf k pi g
e , cc u t d h will r pay you at th
ee n an a o n , an s e e e

j our y dne
’
s en .
17 8 GE N TLEMEN S BOOK ’
CE E IQUE T
T TE .

t o de cli ne e scorti g n he r a gi
a n S hould t he r qu st
e e be
m ad e .

Wh trav li g alo your opportu iti s to display

en e n n e, n e

your galla try will b still mor um rou s T off

n e e n e . o er

t ocarry a b ag f lady who is att d d t rais or a un en e ,

o e or

l ow r wi dow for h o f f r to ch ck h b gg g '

e a n er , e e er a a e,

procur h hack giv h your arm f rom car t b o at

e er a , e er o

or b oat to car assist h childr ov r t h b ad crossi gs

, er en e e n ,

or i fact xt d y such ki d ss will m ark y as

n e en an n ne , ou a

g tl m a
en d wi you t h tha ks d
e n , an to your court sy
n e n ue e .

B car ful how v r

e e t to b too att tiv e eyou th no e en e, as en

b co m
e ffi i e d om b arras wh y u m a t
c ou s , a n e s en o e n o

pl as e e.

If you goi g to trav l i th r cou tri s i E u

ar e n e n o e n e , n

r op sp cially I woul d dvis y t tudy t h l

e, e e ,
a e ou o s e an

guag b fo r you tt mpt t g ab r ad F r ch is

es, e e a e o o o . en

t h to gu e you will fi d mos t us fu l i

e n E urop it i n e n e , as s

S pok i th courten d mo gst d iplo m atists ; b ut

n e s , an a n ,
In

o rd r fully to joy a visit t

e
y cou try
en you mus t o an n ,

S p ak t h la guag of that cou try You

e e n th e n . c an en

v isit i th privat hous s

n e l if ~ m g th p asa try
e e , se e e a on e e n
,

go with co fid c from villag to to w f ro m city t

n en e e n, o

city l m g m or of th co u try i
, e a rn d y f ro m
e e n n on e a

familiar i t rcours with th ativ s tha you woul d

n e e e n e , n

l ar i a y ar from guid books or t h pla atio s of

e n n e e e ex n n

your couri r Th way to r ally j oy jo u r y

e . e e , en a ne

t hrou gh a stra g la d i t to roll ov r t h highn e n ,

s no e e

ways i your carriag stop at t h hot l

n d b l d e,
“
e e s , an e e

t th
o poi ts of i t r st by your g i d b u t t should
e n n e e u e, o er

your k apsack or tak up yo u r vali

n ,
d mak e s e, an e a

p d
e t ries tour thro ghant h h m l ts d i llag T aku e a e an v es . e
 T RAV EL N G I . 17 9

a roo m at a hot l i th pri ipal citi s if you will e n e nc e

,

an d all that yo ur g uid book co mm a ds you to s k

see e n ee ,

an d th start yo ur w to ur f i stig atio

en on d o n o n ve n , an

b li v m you will joy your i d p d t walks d

e e e e en n e en en an

chats with the villag rs d p asa ts i fi it ly m or e an e n ,

n n e e

tha yo ur visits dictat d by oth rs Of co urs to

n e e . e, eu

joy this mod f trav li g yo u must hav so m k ow

e o e n , e e n

l d g f t h la guag
e e o d i f you start with o ly a v ry
e n e , an n e

Slight acq uai ta c with it y will b urpris d to fi d

n n e ,
ou e S e n

h w rapidly you will acq u ir t h pow r to o v rs

o e e e C n e e,

wh you en thus f orc d to p ak i that la guag or

ar e e S e n n e,

b e en tir ly il t e S en .

Yo ur pock t too will b th gai r b y th pow r t

e , ,
e e ne e e o

arra g your w a f f airs If you trav l with a couri r

n e o n . e e

an d d p d upo e hi m to arra g your hot l bills

en n d n e e an

oth r m att rs you will b ch at d by v ry

e e ,
f rom e e e e e on e,

t h boy who b lacks your boots to t h m ag ific

e t artist ,
e n en ,

wh u d rtak s to fill your pictur gall ry with t h work

o n e e e e e s

o f t he old m ast rs If M urill R apha l e d Gu id . o, e , an o

could t h pictur s brought a ually to this cou try

see e e nn n

as g ui works f th ir p cils w
en ne c rtai that
o e en ,
e ar e e n

th y would t ar th ir ghostly hair wri g th ir shadowy

e e e ,
n e

ha ds d r tur to t h to mb agai i disgu t Ig

n ,
an e n e n n s . no

ra t f th la g u ag f th cou try you vi iti g you

n o e n e o e n ar e s n ,

Will b swi dl d i t h littl villag s

e n e d t h larg citi
n e e e an e e es

b y t h i k p rs d t h h ack driv rs i th cou try

e nn -
ee e an e -
e ,
n e n

an d i th to w m or i g oo
n e d v i g daily
n, n n ,
n n , an e en n ,
’

ho urly d w kly ; so agai I say study t h la guag

,
a n ee , n , e n es

i f yo u pro pos goi g abroad e n .

I a f or ig cou try othi g sta m ps t h diff r c b

n e n n n n e e en e e

tw th g
e en tl ma d t h clow mor tro gly tha
e en e n an e n e s n n
180 G EN TLE MEN S BOOK OF E TI QUE TTE
’
.

t he r gar d th y pay to f or ig custo m s Whil t h

e e e n . e e

l att r will xclai m g

e te v ry stra g dr ss or dish
a al n s e e n e e ,

an d v e how ig s of disgust if th latt r do s t

en S S n e e e no

pl as him th form r will d avor

e e ,
e far as is i hi
e en e ,
a s n s

pow r to do i Ro m as Ro m a s d
e , n e n o.
”

A ccustom yours lf as soo as possibl to t h custo m

e ,
n e, e s

o f th atio which you

e n visiti g d as f as y
n ar e n ,
a n , ar ou

c an without y violatio f pr cipl follow th m

an n o in e, e .

You will add much to your w co mfort by so doi g for o n n , ,

as you ca o t xp c t t h whol atio to co f orm t

nn e e e e n n n o

your habits t h soo r yo u fall i with th irs t h soo

,
e ne n e e n er

y ou will f l at hom i t
ee h stra g l a d e n e n e n .

N v ridicul or b la m y usag which ms to you

e er e e an e see

l udi rous
c wro g You may wou d thos arou d you
or n . n e n
,

or you may a g r th m d it ca ot add to t h

n e e ,
a n nn e

pl asur of your visit t mak yours lf u popular If

e e o e e n .

in G rma y th y s rv your m t upo mar m alad

e n e e e ea n e , or

you b f raw or i Italy giv you p a i th ir pods

r ee ,
n e e s n e ,

i F ra c you frog s l gs d h t k if you

’
or n fi n e o er e an or s e s e a s,

a ot t t h tra g vi a ds mak
c nn ea e s r m arks d
n e n , e no e an r e

pr ss v ry look g stur of disgust T y to adap t

e e e or e e . r

your tast to t h d ish s d if you fi d that i mpossib l

e e e , an n e,

re mov thos articl s you ca ot t from your plat

e e e nn ea e,

an d m ak your m al upo t h oth rs b ut do this il tly

e e n e e , S en

an d q ui tly d avori g t to attract att tio

e , e n e n no en n.

Th b st trav l rs
e e th os who e et cats i Chi aar e e c an e a n n ,

o il i Gr
n la d fr gs F ra c
een n d m ccaro i i Italy ;
,
o In n e , an a n n

who c ansmok a m h m i G r m a y rid

e l pha t
e er s au n e n , e an e e n

i I dia shoot partridg s i E gla d

n n , d w ar a turba e n n n ,
a n e n

i T rk y ; i
n u hort i v ry tio dap t th ir h b it
e n s , n e e na n a e a s,
1 82 G EN LEMEN S BOO K
T
’
CE E QUE E
TI TT .

Co v rs w ith y who s m dispos d to form

n e e an ee e an a o

q uai ta c
n You m y t h s pass
n e . hour or two pl aa u an e

s antly o b tai us f ul i f or m atio

,
n d you e d t carry n n , an n ee no

on t h acquai ta c u l ss you choos to do so

e n n Am o gs t
e n e e . n

t h high r circl s i
e e E urop you will fi d ma y of t h
e n e n n e

custo m s of ach atio i oth r atio s but it is am o g

e n n n e n n , n

t h p asa ts
e e d t h p opl that you fi d t h tru
n an e e e n e e na

t i o n alit y .

You may carry with you rul i to v ry cou try on e e n e e n

,

which is that how v er m h th i habita ts may obj c t

, , e uc e n n e

to your d r ss la guag or habits th y will ch r f ully

e ,
n e, , e ee

ack owl dg tha t th Am rica tra g is p rf ctly

n e e e e n s n er e e

amiabl d polit e an e.
 E TI Q UE TTE IN C H UR C H . 18 3

C H A P T ER x .

E TI QU E T TE I N C HURC H .

is t i this book a q u stio what you must b

IT no , n , e n, e

li v b u t how yo u mus act If y u r co sci c p

e e, t . o n en e er

mits y to visit oth r church s tha your w your first

ou e e n o n,

d uty whilst i th m is t to s r or sco ff t y f

, n e ,
no nee a an o

its f orm s d to f ollo w t h s rvic as clos ly as yo u

, a n e e e e c an .

Tor m ov your hat upo

e t ri g t h difi d ot d
e n en e n e e ce ev e

to th worship f a High r P o w r is a sig f r sp ct

e o e e , n o e e

ne v r to b omitt d M a y m will o mit i f or ig

e e e . n en n e n

ch u rch s this custo m so pr ssiv d t hi g d by

e ex e e an ou c n ,
a
‘

t h omissio
e m ak oth rs b li v th m irr v r t
n e d e e e e e e e en an

f oolish v ph gh th y m y act f ro m m tho ught

, e en ou e a or e

l ss ss If ho w r you
e ne . i a cou try wh r t h
, e ve , ar e n n e e e

h ad is k pt cov r d d a oth r f orm f hu m ility

e e e e ,
a n n e o

a dopt d you e d t f ar to f ollow t h custo m f thos

,
n ee no e e o e

a ro u d you You will b m or r sp ct d if you pay d

n . e e e e e e

f r c to th ir r ligio u s vi ws tha if you u d rtook to

e en e e e e ,
n n e

prov your s up riority b y a ff cti g a co t m pt f

e e y e n n e or an

f orm f worship o E t r with your tho u ghts fi d po

. n e xe u n

high d holy s ubj cts d yo u r f ac will ho w your d

an e ,
a n e S e

vo ti v if y o
on, e ig ora t f th f or m s f tha t
en u ar e n n o e o

parti ular church

c .

If you with a l ady i

ar e c tho lic chur ch o ff r h , _
n a. a , e er
 1 84 GE N TLEMEN S B ook ’
or E IQ U E E
T TT .

t he
’

wat r with your ha d u glov ed for

h o ly e it i n n , , a s s

In t h i t rcours with pri c s that church r qu r s all

e n e e n e , e i e

t h c r m o i s t b p rfor m d with t h b ar ha d
e e e n e o e e e e e n

P ass p t h aisl with your co mpa io u til you r ach

u e e n n n e

t h p w you
e e to occupy th st p b f or h op
ar e , en e e e er , en

th edoor d hold i t op whil h t r t h p w

,
a n en e S e en e s e e .

Th f ollo w h
en closi g th door aft r you
er , n e e .

If you V ti g tra g church qu st th

ar e IS I n a s n e , r e e e

se xto to giv you a s at N v

n e t r p w i vit d e . e er en e a e un n e .

If you i your w p w
ar e church d stra g r
n o n e In ,
an see n e s

l ooki g for plac op your p w door i v it th m by

n a e, en e , n e e

a m otio t t r d hold t h door op n f th m

n o e n e , an e e or e ,
r e

en e t ri g yours lf aft r th y
n s at de e e ar e e e .

If th r rou d you do t pay what you t hi k

o e s a n no n a

prop r att tio to th rvic s do t b y cor f u l

e en n e se e , no , s n

gla c or whisp r d r mark otic th ir o missio s

n es e e e s, n e e n .

S triv b y you e, w d votio t forg t thos

r o ar you n e n, o e e ne .

You m y o ff r b ook or fai to a stra g r ar you

a e a r n e ne ,

if u provid d th m s lv s wh th th y b y u g
n e e ld e e , e er e e o n or o ,

lady or g tl ma en e n .

R mai k e li g lo g thos
n n ee fid you d so
n as n as e ar o u o .

D t if your w d votio
o no , s t satisfi d by your t
o n e n I no e a

t it d u t hrow scor f ul gla c

e, upo thos who r m ain n es n e e n

se at d m r ly b ow th ir h ads Ab ov all v r g
e , o r e e e e . e ne e SI n

t th m or sp ak r mi di g th m of t h positio
o e , e ,
mos t e n n e e n

s ui t abl for th rvic K p your w positio b ut d

e e se e . ee o n n, o

no t thi k you hav n t h righ t t d ictat to oth r Ie e o e e s.

hav h ard you g p rso addr ssi g with w rd f

e e n e ns e n , o s o re

proach old m ,
d l m o s whos i fi m it i for b ad
en , an a e ne , e n r es e

th m t e k l or ta d i church b t who w r do bt
o n ee s n n , u e e, u

l s a go d Chri t ia
e s, s t h ir pr ump tuou
o d is rs
s ns as e es s a v e .
 G EN LEMEN S BOOK
T
’
or E TIQUE E TT .

C H A P TE R X I .

H UN R H N
ON E G N MAN D R M
D ED I T S F OR E T LE LY E PO T EN T .

1 AL WA S avoid
.
y rud or b oistY rou ctio s an e e s a n, e

p i ll
ec a
y wh i t h pr s c f ladi
en s It nis t e e en e o e . no ne

to
c e s s ar
y b t ifi i dol t or sull ly sil
e s t ith
'

,
nr en , en en , n e e IS

p rf ct gravity always r qu ir d b ut if you j st l t it b

e e e e , e e e

with q ui t g tl m a ly wit v r d p di g po
e , en e n ,
ne e e en n u n

clow is h g stur s for t h ff ct of tory N othi g

n e e e e e a s . n

marks t h g tl m a so soo e d so d cid dly

en e q ui t n n an e e as e ,

fi d as of ma
re ne e e nn e r.

2 N v r allow a lady t g t
. e e chair for h rs lf ri g o e a e e ,
n

b ll pi k p ha dk rchi f or glov h may hav

a e , c ,
u a n e e e s e e

d ropp d or i hort p r f or m y s rvic f h rs lf

e , , n s , e an e e or e e

whic h y p rf or m f h wh you
ou c an i th
e or er , en ar e n e

roo m By t di g such . t
‘
to you moth r
e x en n c o u r e s Ie s r e ,

Sist rs e th m mb rs of you f a mily th y b co m

,
o r o er e e r ,
e e e

h b it l u d
a ua thus m or grac f ully p rform d wh
an ar e e e e e en
'

abroad .

3 N v r p rfor m
.
y littl
e s
e rvic for a
e oth r with an e e e n e a

form al b w m a r as if co f rri g favor b ut with

o or nn e n e n a ,

a q ui t g tl ma ly as as if it w r
e en t
e c r mo io u s
n e e e e, n o a e e n ,

u accustom d p rf orm a c b ut matt r f co rs f

n e e n e, a e o u e, or

you to b court ous e e .

4 It i . t c ssary t t ll ll that you k o w ; th t

s no ne e o e a n a
 H IN TS EC R GE N L M AN LY D EPOR M NT
T E T E . 187

w ere m r f olly ; b u t what a m says must b what h

e e an e e

b li v s hi ms lf ls h violat s th first r ul f a g
e e e e , e e e e e e or en

tl m e —
s p h Truth
an s
’
eec .

5 A void ga mbli g as you wo uld poiso

. E v ry b t
n n. e e

m ad v i t h m ost fi ish d circl s f soci ty is a

e, e en n e n e e o e ,

S p cies f ga m
e bli go d this r u i ous cri m co m
n s , aby
n n e e on

slo w d gr s Whilst a m is m i di g his b u si ss h

e ee . an n n ne , e

is playi g th b st gam n d h is s u r to w i
e e Yo u e , an e e n .

will b t mpt d to t h vic by thos whom t h world

e e e e e e e

calls g tl m b u t you w ill fi d that loss m ak s you

en e en , n e

a gry d a gry m is v r a o u rt o u s ; gai

n
,
a n an n an ne e c e on e n

ex cit s yo u to co ti u t h purs uit f t h vic ; d i

e n n e e o e e an , n

th d you will los m o y good

e en a m h alth good e ne ,
n e, e ,

co s i c light h art d ho sty ; whil you gai vil

n c en e, e ,
a n ne e n e

associat s irr g u lar ho u rs

e , d habits a s u spicio u s f r t
e an , , e

f l t mp r
u e d a r m ors f u l ,
e , an tor m ti g co s i c e e en n n c en e.

S om m t los
e on e th ga m ; us d if you wi it i t
e In e e an ,
n ,

is at th risk f drivi g a f llow cr at ur to d spair

e o n e e e e .

6 C ultivat tact ! I soci ty it will b

. e i val u abl n e e an n e

aid Tal t is so m thi g but tact is rythi g Tal t

. en e n ,
e ve n . en

is s rious sob r grav

e d r sp ctab l
, e , tact is all that e , an e e e

an d m or too It is t a si th s s b u t it is th lif
e . no x en e , e e

o f all t h fi It is t h p y t h qi k
e ve . th e o en e e, e u c e ar , e

j g g
ud i tast nt h k s m ll d
e, t h l i lyeto u ch ; it is
e en e ,
a n e ve

t h e n e f —
i t rpr t r all riddl s t h s urm ou t r f all dith
e e o e e n e o

cu lti —t h r m ov r f all obstacl s

es e e It is s f ul i all
e o e . u e n

plac s d at all ti m s ; it is us ful i solit u d f it

e , an e e n e, or

S hows a m mhi way i t th world ; it is u s f ul i

a s n o e e n so

i ty f
c e it shows him his way th gh th w orld Tal t
,
o r r ou e . en

—
is pow r tact is kill ; tal t is w ight tact is m o m
e — S en e en

t m ; tal
u en —
t k ows what to do tact k ows h w to do it ;
n
’

n o
188 G E N TLEMEN S BOOK ’
CE E T I GUETTE .

t al e —
t mak s a m r sp ctabl tact will mak him
en an e e e e re

S p t
ec ed ; tal t is w alth — tact is
en r ady m o y F ore all e ne .

th epractical purpos s of soci ty tac t carr agai s t e e i es n

t al t t to
en en one .

N atur has l ft v y m e capacity f b g e

“

e er an a o ei n

a gr abl though all ca ot hi i co mpa y ; b ut th r

ee e, nn s ne n n e e

ar e ma y m fi i t ly q ualifi d for b o th who b y

n en su c en e ,
, ,
a

ve ry f w faul t s that a littl att tio would soo corr ct

e , e en n n e ,

ar e n o t so m uch as tol rabl Watch avoid such f aults e e. ,

.

8 Ha b its of s el f poss ssio

. d s l f co trol ac qu ir d
-
e n an e -
n e

e arly i lif n th b st f ou datio for th for m atio

e , ar e e e n n e n

o f g tl ma ly maen e rs If you u it With this t h

n nn e . n e e

co sta t i t rcours with ladi s d g t l m of fi

n n n e e e an en e en re ne

m t nd ducatio you will add to t h dig ity of p

en a e n, e n er

f t ec lf comma d t h polish d as of polit soci ty

se n , e e e e e e

9 Avoid a co c it d m a
. r It i xc di gly ill
n e e nne . s e ee n

b r d to assu m a ma r as if you w r sup rior t th os

e e nne e e e o e

ar ou d y n d it is too a proof
ou , a n t of sup riority , , ,
n o e

but of vulgarity A d to avoid this ma r avoid t h . n nne , e

fou datio f it d cultivat hum ility Th prais

n n -

o , an e . e es

of oth rs should b ofe to you i t achi g t what e us e , n e n ,

n o

y o u ar e ,p rhaps b ut i poi
e t i g out what you
,
ought t n n n o

10 void prid too ; it oft m iscalcul t s d mor

. A e, en a e , an e

oft misco c iv s Th prou d m plac s hims lf t

en n e e . e
'
an e e a a

dista c fro m oth r m ; s

n e through that dista c e en e en n e,

o th rs p rhaps app ar littl to him ; but h f org ts t ha t

e ,
e ,
e e e e

thi v ry dista c caus s him also to app ar littl t

s e n e e e e o

o th rs e .

1 1 A g tl ma s titl sugg sts to him h u mility

’
. en e d n e e an

fi bility ; to b of acc ss to pass b y gl cts d

'

e e as ne e an
a a
y e , fl
 GEN LEMEN S BOOKT
’
CE E Q UE ETI TT .

a
”
my old cov
ru m A s sibl m a hap that i e .
7
en e a n Is
‘
c s

u
p to O ur yo u g f ri d v r scolds but blo w s n en ne e ,
‘

u
p ; v
’
r pays b u
net st m pse p ; v r fi ds
,
it too di f ‘
u u
’
ne e n

fi lt to pay bu t is hard up H has hat b u t ‘ ’

cu ,
. e no ,

sh lt rs his h ad b ath a til

e e H w arse ck en e
‘
e.
’
e e no ne

cloth b t surrou ds his throat with

,
u chok r H n a
‘
e .
’
e

l iv s owh r b ut th r i om plac wh r h ha g
e n e e, e e s s e e e e e
‘
n s

out H v go s away or withdraw s b ut h b olts

.
’
e ne er e ~ ,
e
‘ ’

—h slop s —h mizzl s —h mak him s lf scarc

e
‘
e
’
e
‘
e
’
e
‘
es e e
’

— h e
‘ —
walks hi halks h m ak tracks h cuts s — C
’
e
‘
es
’
e
‘

stick what is th sam thi g h cuts his lucky

’
-
or , e e n , e
‘
.

Th high st co mplim t that you

e e a
p y him to t l l en c an Is e

him that h is r gular b rick H do s t pr f ss t

e a
‘
e .
’
e e no o e o

b e bra b t h prid s him s l f

ve , u b i g plucky e e e on e n
‘
.
’

M o y is word which h has forgott

ne a b ut h talks e en , e a

good d al ab out t i e d th d f ul th rhi o d ‘

n , an
’
e
‘
n ee ,
’ ‘
e n ,
a
’
n

th r a dy Wh p aks h spouts ; wh h
’ ’
‘
e e m . en a an S e , e
‘
en e

holds his p ac h huts up wh h is hu miliat d h

e e, e
‘
S en e e , e.

is tak dow a p g or two d mad t m g small

‘
en n e ,
’
an e o
‘
s .
’

N w b sid s t h vul garity of such xpr ssio

o ,
e e e th r i e e ns, e e s

much i sla g that is obj ctio abl i a moral poi t of

n n e n e n n

Vi w F or xampl t h w ord gov r or as appli d t ‘ ’

e . e e, e e n , e o

a fath r i t b r pr h d d Do s it t b tray
e , s o e e e en e . e no e ,
o n

t h part of you g m
e
gr at ig ora c of tnh pat r a l en , e n n e e e n

an d filial r latio ship or gr at co t m pt f e th m !

n ,
e n e or e

Th ir fath r is to s u ch yo u g m
e e m r ly a gov r or n en e e e n ,

m r ly r pr s tativ f authority I oc tly ough

e e a; e e en e o . nn en en

th xpr ss o us d by thousa ds of yo u g m wh
e e e i n is e n n en o

ve n rat ed lov th ir par ts ; b ut o ly thi k of i t

e an e e en n n ,

an d I am sur that you will admi t that i t is e cold a ,

 HINTS FOR GE N TLEM ANL Y DE P OR TME N T . 191

h art l ss word w h th u s appli d d

e e that o ught
en e ,
an on e

f orth with to b aba do d

”
e n ne .

1 6 Th r .
f w traits
e e ar e f social li f m or rep u lsiv o e e e e

tha tyra y I r f r t to th wro gs r al or im g

n nn . e e no e n , e a

i
n ar
y that ,
gag o u r attentio a ci t e d mod r en n In n en an e n

history ; my tyra ts t thos wh hav wad d

n ar e no e o e e

through b lood to thro s d gr vously oppr ss th i n e , an ie e e r

broth r m e I p ak of t h p tty tyra ts f t h fi

en . S e e e n o e re

sid d t h social circl who trampl lik v ry d spots

e an e e, e e e e

on t h Opi io s e f th ir f l l ows
n n You m t p opl of
o e e . ee e e

this class v rywh r ; th y stalk by your sid i t h

e e e e e e n e

str ts ; th y s at th m s lv s i t h pl asa t circl

ee e e e e e n e e n e on

th e h arth casti g a gloom gay ty ; d th y start

e ,
n on e an e

up dark d scowli g i th midst of sc s f i oc t

an n n e en e o nn en

m irth to chill ,
d frow dow v ry p articipator
an n n e e .

e
“
Th y pooh ! pooh ! at v ry Opi io adva c d ; th y ”
e e n n n e e

m ak t h liv s f th ir moth rs sist rs wiv s childr

e e e o e e ,
e , e , en ,

u b arabl
n e B war th of tyra y A g tl ma
e . e e en nn . en e n

is v r humbl
e e d t h tyra t is v r court ous
e , an e n ne e e .

1 7 Cultivat t h f t h so ul stro g p m pl
’

. i t e e v r ue s o e ,
n r CI e,

i corruptibl i t grity us f ul ss r fi d i t ll ct d
n e n e , e ne ,
e ne n e e ,
a n

fid lity i
e s ki g f r truth A m i proportio as
n ee n o . an n n

h has th s virtu s will b ho or d

e e e d w lco m d v ry
e e n e an e e e e

wh r e e.

1 8 G tility is
. en ith r i birth w alth or f ashio ne e n ,
e ,
n,

b ut i t h m i d A high s s of ho or a d t r mi a
n e n . en e n ,
e e n

tio n v r to tak a m a adva tag f a oth r d

ne e e e n n e o n e , a

her e n c eto truth d licacy d polit ss to w ards thos

, e an en e e

with who m w hold i t rcours e th ss tial characn e e, ar e e e en

t i ti
er s f a g tl m a
cs o en e n .

1 9 L ittl
. t t tio s t your m th
e a y u wif d
en n o o er , o r e, an
1 92 GEN LEMEN S BOOK
T
’
OE E QUE TE
TI T .

your sist r will b g t m uch lov Th m wh m

e , e e e. e an o a

r u d h u s ba d
e d broth r n a ot b a g tl m a ;
, s on , a n e , c nn e en e n

h m y p th ma
e a rs fa eb u t wa ti g t h fi
e nn e o on e, ,
n n e re ne

m t f h art tha t would mak hi m court o u s at ho m

en o e e e e,

his polit ss is b ut a thi cloak to cov r a rud

en e n e e , nu

polish d mi d e n .

2 0 At t a bl always t slowly b ut d
. t d lay
e, ea , o no e

thos arou d you b y toyi g with your food or gl ct

e n n ,
ne e

i g t h b usi ss b f or you to chat till all t h oth r

n e ne e e ,
e e s

ar e r ady to l av t h tabl b u t mus t wait u til yo u

e e e e e, n re

pair your glig c by hastily wallowi g your food

ne en e, s n .

21 A you husba d ! Custo m tit l s you to b

. re a n en e e

th “e l ord d mast r ov r your hous h ld B ut do t

an e
”
e e o . n
’

a ssum th m t e d si k t h l d
e R m mb r that
a s er an n e or . e e e

n obl g rosity forb ara c amiab ility nd i t grity

e ene , e n e, , a n e

ar e t h l dly attri b ut s of m
e or A a hus b a nd th r e an . s , e e

f or xhib it t h tru o b ility f m

e, e d s k t gov r
e e n o a n , an ee o e n

y ou hous rhold b y t h display eof high moral xc ll c e e e en e.

A domi e ri g spirit — faul t fi di g p tula c im

n e n — a -
n n e n e

pati c of t rifli g d l ays

en e — d th xhibitio of n e an e e n un

worthy p t t h slight st provocatio add

’

aS S IOn a e e n c an no

e
“
l aur l to your w lordly b row i m part osw et s n
”
no e ne s
,

t hom
o d call f orth
e , an r sp ct from thos b y who m no e e e

you may b surrou d d It is e thi g to b m t n e ; on e n e a a s er ,

an oth t b m er Th latt r hould b t h hus

o e a an . e e s e e

b a d aspiratio ; for h who ca ot gov r hims lf i

n
’
s n e nn e n e , s

ill q lifi d t ul th rs You

-
ua e o h rdly i m agi
r e
“
o e . c an a ne

h w r f r shi g it is to occasio ally call up t h

o e e n ll n e r eco ec

t io of you cour ti g days H w t diously th hour

,

n r n . o e e s

r oll d away prior to t h appoi t d tim of m ti g ; h w

e e n e e ee n o

s wift th y m d t fly wh m t ; h w fo d w th
e see e o , en e o n as e
1 94 GEN TLEMEN S B OO K ’
OE ETI OUETr E .

col d or th glov ca ot b r adily r mov d it i much

,
e e nn e e e e ,
s

b t t r to o ff r t h cov r d ha d tha t o ff d t h lady

e e e e e e n n o en e
’
s

tou h or d lay th salut tio nduri g awkward f mb l

’

c , e e a n an u e

to r mov th glov
e e e e.

24 S t r “
says Tru courtship co sist i
e ne um b e n s n a n er
,
.

o f qu t g tl m a ly att tio s
ie , en t poi t d
e t n en n , no so n e as o

alar m t so vagu as to b misu d rstood A clo w

,
n o e e n e .
”
n

will t rrif y b y his bold ss proud m chill by his

e ne ,
a an re

se rv b ut g tl ma will wi b y th happy mixtur

e, a en e n n e e

of t h two e .

25 U . profa la guag utt r o word that will

se no
r

ne n e, e n

caus th m ost virtu o u s to blush P rofa ity is a m ark of

e e . n

low br di g ; d th t d cy of usi g i d c t d
ee n an e en en n n e en an

pro f a la guag ne d gradi g to your mi ds Its i

n e is e n n . n

j i ff
ur ou s e cts may t b f lte at t h mom t b t th y no e e e en , u e

will co ti u to ma if st th ms lv s to you thro ugh lif

n n e n e e e e
’
e.

Th y maye v r b o b lit rat d ; d if you allo w

ne e e e e an ,

t h faul t to b com ha b itu l you will oft

e e fi d at you e a , en n r

to gu s d so m xpr ssio s which you would t

n e
’
en e e e n no us e

for y mo y B y b i g car ful this poi t you m y

an ne . e n e on n a

sav yours l f m uch m tifi ti

e e d sorro w or ca on an .

“G ood m hav b tak l en d b com d e een en S an e e e

li i I th s mo m ts th y hav us d t h m ost vil

r ou s . n e e en e e e e e

an d i d c e t la g u ag
n e Wh i for m d of it af t r
n n e . en n e , e a

r storatio to h alth th y had id of t h pai th y

e n e ,
e no ea e n e

had giv to their f ri ds a d stat d that th y had

en en ,
n e e

l ar d d r p at d t h pr ss o s i childhood d
e ne an e e e e ex e i n n ,
a n

tho u gh y ars had pass d si c th y had pok a b ad

e e n e e S en

word th arly i mp ssio s had b i d libly stamp d

,
e e re n een n e e

u po t h m i d
n
“

e n .
!

Thi k f this y wh n ot mpt d to imp , e o ar e e e us e

 H INTS
EN LEMANL Y D EPOR TMEN EOR G 1 95 T T .

la guag
n d v r l t a vil word disgra yo u A
e, an ne e e e ce . n

oath v r f alls f rom t h to gu f th m who m

ne e e n e o e an co

m a ds r sp t
n e ec .

Ho sty f a k ss g rosity d virtu

ne ,
r n obl
ne , en e ,
an e ar e n e

traits L t th s b yo urs d do t f ar You will

. e e e e ,
a n no e .

th clai m t h st m d lov f all

en e e ee an e o .

2 6 Co u rt o u s
. d f ri dly co d u ct m y probably will
e an en n a
, ,

so m ti m s m t with u w orthy d u grat f ul r t ur ;

e e ee an n an n e e n

bu t t h abs e f gratitud d i milar co u rt sy

en c e o th e an S e on e

part f t h r iv r ca ot d stroy th s lf appro batio

o e ece e nn e e e -
n

which r o mp s s th giv r W m y scatt r t h s d

ec en e e e . e a e e ee s

o f co u rt sy d ki d ss aro u d u s at littl
e an
p s n ne n e ex en e .

Som f th m will i vitably f all

e o e good gro u d d ne on n ,
an

grow p i to b vol c i th mi ds f oth rs d all

u n en e en e n e n o e ,
a n

o f th m w ill b ar t h f r u i t f ha pp
e ss i t h boso m
e e o ine n e

wh c th y pri g A ki dly actio always fix s its lf

en e e S n . n n e e

on th h art f t h tr u ly tho u ght f u l

e e d polit m
o e an e an .

2 7 L ar . to r strai a g r A m i a passio
e n e n n e . an n n

c as s to b a g tl m a
e e d if you do
e t co trol yo u
en e n , an no n r

passio s r ly upo it th y will

n ,
e d y co trol yo u n ,
e on e a n .

Th i to icatio
e n f a g r lik that f t h grap
x n o sho w s n e , e o e e,

us to oth rs b u t hid s us f ro m o urs lv s d w i j ur

e ,
e e e , an e n e

o ur w cau s i t h pi io f th world wh w t
o n e n e O n n o e en e oo

passio at ly d ag rly d f d it N ith r will all

n e an e e e en . e e

m b dispos d to Vi w our q u arr ls i t h sa m ligh t

en e e e e n e e

that w do ; d a m a s bli d ss to his w d f t

e an n
’
n ne o n e ec s

w ill v r i cr as i proportio as h is a gry with

e e n e e n n e n

oth rs or pl as d with hi ms l f A old E glish w rit r

e , e e e . n n e

says
“A a pr v tativ s f a g r ba ish all tal b ar rs
e en e o n e , n e -
e e

an d sla d r rs from your co v rsatio

n e e for it is th s n e n, e e
1 96 G EN TLEMEN S ’
BOOK OE E TIQUE TTE .

b low d vil s b llows to rous up th flam of rag e

the e
’
e e e es

an d fury by first abusi g your ars

,
d th n your n e ,
a n e cr e

d li ty d a f t r that st al w y y pati c d all

'

u ,
a n e e a a o ur en e , an

this p rhaps for l

,
e T pr v t a g r b n t t
,
a i e. o e en n e , e o oo

i quisitiv i to t he fl i of oth rs or what p opl say

n e n a
’

a rs e ,
e e

of yours l f or i to t h mistak s of your f ri ds for thi

e ,
n e e en ,
s

is go g out to gath r s ticks to ki dl fi to bur

in e n e a re n

your w hous o n e .

2 8 K p good co mpa y or o
. ee You will los you n n ne. e r

o w s lf r sp ct d habits f court sy soo r d

n e -
e e ,
an o e ne an

m or ff ctually b y i t rco u rs with low co m pa y tha

e e e n e e n , n

in an
y oth r m a r ; whil i n
e good co m pa y th s
nn e e, n , e e

v irt u s will b culti at d d b co m hab itual

e e v e an e e

2 9 K p your . gag m ts N othi g rud r tha

ee en e en . n is e n

to m ak gag m t b it of b us ss or pl asur
e an en e en , e ine e e,

an d br ak it If your m m ory is
e . t s u f fici tly r t e no en e en

tiv to k p all th gag m ts you mak tor d withi

e ee e en e en e s e n

it carry a lit t l m m ora d um b oo k d t r th m th r

, e e n an en e e e e .

E sp cially k p y appoi t m t mad with lady

e , ee an n en e a ,

for d p d upo it t h f air x f orgiv y oth r f aul t

,
e en n , e se e an e

i good br di g soo
n tha a brok
ee n gag m t , n er n en en e en .

3 0 A void p rso ality ;

. othi g is m or u g tl e n n n e n en e

ma ly Th to
n . f good co m pa y is mark d by i t s
e ne o n e

en tir e abs c Amo g w ll i f or m d p rso s th r

en e . n e -
n e e n e e ar e

p l ty of top cs to d sc ss without givi g pai to y

en i i u ,
n n an

on e pr s t e en .

3 1 M ak it a rul to b alway p u ct u al i k pi g
. e e e s n n ee n

an appoi t m t d wh it is co vn en , a nt b littl ,
en n en i en , e a e

b f or h a d S uch a habi t sur s tha t co mposur

e e n . d en e e an

e as which is th
e y f g tl m a ly d port
e ve r
'

e ss en c e o en e n e

m t ; wa t of it k ps you always
en n f v r d bustl ee in a e e an e
 1 98 GE N LEME N S BOOK
T
’
OE E QU E E
TI TT .

men t r l as yours l f f ro m a lo g talk but d so i

,
a n d e e e e n , o n

a co urt o u s m a r pr ssi g r gr t f t h
e n ne ssity ,
e x e n e e or e nece .

3 7 If wh . m ti g t w g tl m
, en yo u oblig d
ee n o en e en , ar e e

t o d tai e f th m apologiz to t h oth r f

n on e o so e ,
e e e or

doi g wh th r h is acqu ai t c or a stra g r d

n , e e e an n an e n e , an

do t k p h m waiti g a mo m t lo g r tha is
no ee i n en n e n n e c es

s ary .

3 8 Hav you a sist r !

. Th e lov d ch rish h e en e an e er

with all that p ur d holy f ri dship which r d rs e an en en e a

b roth r so worthy d obl

e L ar to a ppr iat h an n e . e n ec e er

s w t i flu c as portray d i t h f ollo w i g words

ee n en e e n e n :

H who has v r k ow sist r s ki d ad mi istra ’

e ne e n n a e n n

tio f lt his h a rt war m g b

n , n or e ath h d ar g
e in en e er e n e in

s m il d lov b a m i g y has b
e an e f ort u at i d d
-
e n e e, e e n un n e n ee .

I t is t to b wo d r d at if t h fo
no e t ai s f pur fn le e e un n o e ee

i g flow i hi b oso m but sluggishly or if t h g tl

n n s , e en e

e m otio s of his atur b los t i

n th st r r attribut
n e e n e e ne es

o f m a ki d n n .

That m has grow up amo g aff ctio at sist rs

‘ ’
an n n e n e e ,

I h ard a lady of much o b s rvat o d xp ri c

o n ce e e i n an e e en e

re m ark .

A d why do you thi k so ! said I

‘ ’
n n

B caus f t h rich d v lop m t of ll th t d

e e o e e e en a e en er

f li g of th h art
ee n s e e .
’

“A i t i fl u c is f lt v i manhood rip
“

s s er s
’
n en e e e en n
’
s er

y ars ; d th h art f him who has grow cold i

e an e e o n n

chilly co tact with t h world will warm d thrill with

n e an

p u r j oym t as so m accid t aw ak s withi him

e en en e en en n

t h soft to s t h glad m lodi s f his si t r s voic ; ’

e ne ,
e e e o s e e

an d h will tur from purp s s which a warp d

e n d f als o e e an e

p hilosophy had r aso d i to xp di cy de w p ne n e e en , a n e ve n ee

!
 H IN TS EOR GE N LEM ANLY D EPOR MEN
T T T . 1 99

f or the g tl i fl
en e n ue n c s which m ov d
e e him in hi s e arli r e

y ars
e .
”

The m an w howould tr at sist r w ith harsh ss e a e ne ,

r u d ss or disr sp ct is u w orthy f th a m f g
en e ,
e e ,
n o e n e o en

tl m e f h thus prov s that t h court si s h

an , or e t ds e e e e e ex en

to oth r ladi s e t t h pro mp ti gs f th h a t b u t

e , ar e n o e n o e e r ,

th m r e t r al g s f ti qu tt ; th h u sk witho u t
e e ex e n Si n o e e e e

t h s w t f r u it withi
e ee n.

3 9 Wh . w alki g with a fri

en d i th str t v r n en n e ee , n e e

l av him to sp ak to a oth r f ri d without pologizi g

e e e n e en a n

f or so doi g n .

40 If w alki g with a lady

. v r l av h alo i
n ,
n e e e e er ne n

t h str t u d r
e circum
ee ,
y ta c ns Iteis a gross
an viola s n e .

tio f tiq u tt to do so
n o e e e .

41 Th m ost tr uly g tl m a ly m
. e is h who is th en e n an e e

most u s lfish so I would say i t h words f th

n e , n e o e

R J A Jam s
ev . . . e
“L iv f so m purpos i t h world A t your part
e or e e n e . c

w ll F ill up th m asur of duty to oth rs Co d uct

e . e e e e . n

yours l s so that yo u shall b miss d w ith sorro w w h

e ve e e en

y ou go ar e Mu ltit u d s f o u
ne. r sp ci s livi g i e o e e ar e n n

s u ch a s lfish m a r that th y
e t lik ly to b
nn e e ar e n o e e re

m mb r d f t r th ir disap p ara c Th y l av b hi d
e e e a e e e n e . e e e e n

th m scarc ly y trac s f th ir xist c b ut f

e e an e o e e en e, ar e or

gott alm st as though th y had v r b

en o Th y e ne e e en . e ar e

whil th y liv lik

e e p bbl lyi g u obs rv d am o gst
e, e on e e e n n e e n

a millio t h shor ;
n on d wh th y d i th y lik
e e an en e e, e ar e e

that sam p bbl thro w i to th e e whi h j u st r um s

e n n e s e a, c e

t h s u rf a
e si ks d is f orgott witho u t b i g miss d
c e, n ,
an en , e n e

fro m th b a h Th y e eith r r gr tt d by t h rich

c . e ar e n e e e e e e ,

wa t d b y th poor f or c l brat d by th l ar d
n e e , i e e e e e ne .
2 00
‘

GEN TLEMEN S ’
s o on o r E TIQUE TTE .

Who ha s for th ir lif ! Wh h b

b e en t he b e tt e r e e o as e en

t h wors for th ir d ath !

e e Whos t ars hav th y dri d
e e e e e e e

up ! whos wa ts s ppli d ! who e n ms r hav th y

u e se i e i es e e

h al d
e e Who w uld u bar th gat of lif to ad m it
! o n e e e, re -

th m t
e xist c ! or wha t fac would gr t th m b ack
o e en e e ee e

a gai to n , world wit h s mil ! Wr tch d p

o ur a e e e ,
u n ro

d tiuc mod f xist c ! S lfi h

ve e O is its w curs ;
e en e e s n es s o n e

it t
i s a s ar vmg V c Th m who do s n good g t
i e . e an e o ,
e s

n o ne. H is lik t h h ath i t h d s rt

e e ith r yi ld
e e n e e e ,
n e e e

in
g frui t s i g
,
nwh
o r good co m th —
ee n stu t d en e a n e ,

d w fi h m s ra b l shrub
”
ar s ,
i e e .

4 2 S parat t h syllabl
. e of th word g tl m a
e e d es e en e n , an

y ou will th t t h firs
s ee t r qui it must
a b g tl e ss — e s e e en en e a

e t l m M kan . m says “ F w p
ac rso s en fli e
g n e e e n ar e su
-

i t ly war of t h pow r of g tl
c en a e ss It is slow e e en en e . in

worki g b ut it is i f allibl i its r sults It mak s

n ,
n e n e . e no

n Oi s e
; it ith r i vit s
ne att tio e provok ns r sist e en n , n or e e

a c ; but it is G od s gr t l w i t h moral i th
n e
’
ea a , n e as n e

n atural world f acco mplishi g gr at sult Th , or n e re s. e

progr ssiv daw of day t h flow of t h t id t h laps

e e n , e e e, e e

o f ti m t h cha g s of h
e, te —
s aso s th s
n e carri d e e n e e ar e e

on by low d i m p rc ptib l d gr s y t th ir progr s

S an e e e e ee , e e e s

an d issu o mistak or r sist E qually c rtai

e n ne c an e e . e n

an d surprisi g th triu m phs f g tl ss It as

n ar e e o en en e .

sum s othi g y t it
e n ndisar m t h sto u t s t oppositio ;
, e c an e e n

it yi ld but yi ldi g i t h l m t of its str gth ; i t

e s, e n s e e e en en

en dur b ut i t h war f ar victory is n t gai d by doi g

es , n e e o ne n
,

b ut by su ff ri g
”
e n .

4 3 P r f c t co mposur
. e e of ma r r qu r p rf c t e nne e i es e e

p ac of m i d o you hould
e e n far as li i huma
, s S , as es n n

pow avoid t h vils which mak

e r, u qui t mi d d
e e e an n e n ,
an ,
2 02 G EN LEMEN S B OOK OF E TIQUE TTE
T
’
.

The coars ss of oth rs m a r d la guag e m ust

en e e ,
i n nn e an n ,

e ith r disg u st or co tam at all th r s u bordi at s I

e n in e ei n e . n

on e e stablish m t you will cou t r u m a ly l vity

en en n e an n n e ,

which pr clud all discipli e I a oth r a mo k dig

es n e. n n e , c

n i ty which suppli s t h j uv il s with a ta di g th m

, e e en e s n n e e

o f ridic u l I third capr c o us ss f m ood d

e. n a ,
a i i ne o an

t mp r which r m i ds
e e , f t h proph tic hi ts f t h
e n on e o e e n o e

w ath r i
e th old al m a acks
e n
“ w i dy —e
“cool n n
” ‘

“v ry pl asa t
e
“blust r g
e look t for stor m s
n
”
e in ou

-
d t h lik
an A d ea f ourth a lfish ac rb ity
e. n ,
i n , se e ,

w hi h xacts t h m ost u r aso abl s rvic s

c e d e r n e n e e e , an n e ve

ch rs cl rk with a word f cour g m t Th s

ee a e — o en a e en e e

ar e sad i fi mit s M o u ght t to hav cl rks u til

n r ie . en no e e n

t h y k ow h w to tr a t th m
e n Th r w o o mfo t too e e . ei o n c r
, ,

w ould b gr atly ha c d by a diff r t d portm t

e e en n e e en e en .

4 8 If you . ab u t to t r or l av a stor or y
ar e o en e , e e, e an

d oor d u xp ct dly m t a la d y go g t h oth r way

,
a n ne e e ee in e e ,

s ta d asid d ra s y h t whilst h pass s If h

n e an i e our a S e e . s e

is goi g th sa m way d t h door clos d pass b

n e e ,
a n e is e , e

for eh “
say g allow
er, m “
or p r m it m in — op ,
e, ,
e e, en

t h door d hold it op whilst h pass

“

e ,
an en s e

49 I t r g roo m wh r you will m t ladi s

. n en e i n a e e - ee e ,

t ak your hat ca
e d glov es i your l ft h a d tha t
,
n e , an n e n ,

50 . N v r o ff r to hak ha ds with l ady ;

e e e S e n
‘

a s he w ill ,

if wish s you to do so o ff r h ha d to you d it

S he e ,
e er n
,
a n

is imp r ti c for you to do so first

an e n en e .

5 1 If you .s at d i t h m ost comfortabl chair

ar e e e n e e

i a p blic roo m
n d a lady
u i valid or old m , an ,
an n , an an

en et rs r s d o ff r your s at
,
i v if th y
e, an e e , e en e ar e

s tr ng r s t
a you Ma y m w ill tt d t th s civili
e o . n en a en o e e
 H IN T S E OR GE N LEM AN LY D EPOR MEN T
T T . 203

ti s wh w ith f ri ds or a q u ai ta s d gl ct
e en en c n n c e , an ne e

th m a m o gst stra g rs b u t t h tr u g tl m a will t

e n n e , e e en e n no

wait f i trod u ctio b f or p r f or mi g

or an n act f n e e e n an o

co urt sy e

5 2 A both flatt ry
. s d sla d r i t h high st e an n e ar e n e e

d gr bla m abl d u g tl m a ly I wo u ld q u ot t h
e ee e e an n en e n , e e

r ul f B ishop B v ridg which f f tu ally pr v ts both

e o e e e, e ec e en .

H says e
“ N v r p ak of a ma s virt u b f or his
e e S e n
’
e e e
,

f ac f his f aults b hi d his back

”
e, n or o e n .

53 N v r . t r a roo m i whi h th r
e e en e ladi s ,
n c e e ar e e ,

a f t r s m oki g u til you hav purifi d both yo u r mo u th

e n ,
n e e ,

t th hair d cloth s If yo u wish to m ok j u st b

ee , ,
a n e . S e e

f or t r i g saloo w r l d coat d car f u lly

’

e en e n a n, ea an O ;
an e

br u sh your hair d t th b f or r s um i g your w an ee e e e n o n .

54 N v r . d avor to attract t h att tio f

e e en e e en n o a

f ri d by u dgi g him to u chi g hi f oot or ha d

en n n ,
n s n se

cre t ly or m aki g him a g st u r

, If yo u ca ot s p ak
n e e . nn e

to him f ra kly you had b st l t him alo ; f th s

n , e e ne or e e

s ig alsn g rally m ad w ith th i t tio f i di l

ar e en e e e n en n o r cu

i g a third p rso
n d that is th h ight f rud
e n ss
,
a n e e o en e .

55 Bu tto holdi g is a co mm o
. n -
b u t m ost blam abln n e e

br a h f good m a rs If a m r quir s to b f orci

e c o nn e . an e e e

b ly d tai d to list to you you

e ne , as rud i th u s d en ,
ar e e n e

tai i g him as if you had put a p stol to his h ad d

n n , i e an

thr at d to blo w his brai s t if h stirr d

e en e n ou e e .

5 6 It is a gr at pi c
. f rud ss to mak a r mark
e e e o en e e e

i g
n ral co m pa y which is i t lligibl to
en e np rso ,
n e e on e e n

n .
“
o ly T call out G org I m t D L y st rday
o e e, e e e ,
. .
,

an d h says he will att d to that matt r

e is as b ad as en e ,

i f you w t to G org en d whisp r d i his e e an e e n e ar .

5 7 I your i t rco rs with s rva ts

. n othi g will
n e u e e n , n n
 G EN TLEMEN S B OOK ’
OE E IQUE TTE
T .

m ark you w ll b r d m so much as a g tl

as a e -
e an , en e,

court ous m a r A r qu st will mak your wish s t

e nn e . e e e e a

t d d to as qu ickly as a co mm d d tha ks f
en e an ,
an n or a

se rv c oil t h pr gs of th s rva t s labor im m s ly

i e, e S in e e n
'

en e .

Rough harsh co mm a d may mak your ord rs ob y d

, n s e e e e

w ll d pro mptly b ut th y will b x cut d u willi gly

e an
,
e e e e e n n ,

in f ar e d probably dislik
,
an ,
whil court sy d ki d , e, e e an n

ne ss will W a willi g pirit as w ll as pro mp t s rv c

in n S e e i e.

5 8 Avoid cc t ic co duct
. It do s t as m a y sup
e en r n . e no , n

pos m rk m of g ius M ost m of tru g iu

e, a a an en . en e en s

ar e g tl m a ly d r s rv d i th ir i t rco urs with

en e n an e e e n e n e e

o th r m e d th ren , an ma y f ools whos folly call d

e e ar e n e is e

e cc tricity
en .

5 9 Avoid familiarity
. N ith r tr at oth rs with t . e e e e oo

gr at cordiality
e suff : th em to tak lib rti s with
n or er e e e

yo u T h ck th familiarity of oth rs you

. o C e ed t e ,
n ee no

b om stif f s ull
ec e c old b t y will fi d that x
,
e n , n or ,
u ou _
M “
m
n m
e

m ss your w part som tim with

e e on o n , e es a

ty will soo
M

b Sh th i t d
m ’

, n a a e n ru er

6 0 L azy lou g g attitud

.
, t h pr sn c of ladi
in es i n e e en e es

ar e v ry rude e .

61 It o ly t h mos t arra t coxcomb who will boas t

. is n e n

o f t h favor show
e him b y lady sp ak f h b y h
n a , e o er er

first nam or allow oth rs to j st wi th him upo hi

e, e e n s

fri dship or ad miratio f h

en If h lly ad m r n or er . e i ea i es

h d has r aso to hop f

e r , an a f u t u r gag m t with
e n e or e en e en

h h
er , am ho uld b as sacr d to him as if h w r
er n e S e e s e e e

alr ady his wif ; if

e t h co trary h e t ,i ti
o n e n ,
e is no on n

mat t r ms with h th h adds a li to his xc siv ly

e e er , en e e e es e

b ad b r di g wh usi g h
ee n am famili rly
,
en n er n e a .
 G EN TLEMEN S B OO K ’
OE E TIQUE TTE .

r em ark addr ss d to you ith r with i att tio e e ,

e e n en n or a

rud a sw r e n e .

68 S piri t is
. w a v ry fashio a b l word b ut it ino e n e , s

t rribly m isappli d
e I t h pr s t day t act w ith piri t
e . n e e en o S

an d sp ak with spirit m a s to act rashly

e d sp ak i e n an e n

discr t ly A g tl m a shows his pirit b y firm b t

e e . en e n S ,
u

g tl words d r solut actio s H is spirit d b t

en e an e e n . e e u

ne ith r rash e tim id n or .

69 “ U ki d words
. Th y d id t cost much
se n It . e no .

do s t tak lo g to utt r th m Th y v r b list

e no e n e e . e ne e er ,

t h to gu or lips i th ir passag i to t h w orld or

e n e n e e n e , cc

casio y oth r ki d of bodily suff ri g A d w hav

n an e n e n . n e e

ne v r h ard of y m tal troub l arisi g fr m thi

e e an en e n o s

q uart r e .

“Though th y do t C O S much y t th y AC C OMPL S H

e no T e e I
,

much Th y h lp o s w good a tur d good will

. e e ne
’
o n n e an .

O neca ot b i a habit of thi ki d without th r by

nn e n s n , e e

picki g away so m th g of t h gra it rough ss of hi

n e in e n e ne s

o w atur S o f t words will soft his w soul P hi

n n e. en o n .

l
os o
p h t ll that
er s t h a gry words
e a m us
uss i h i e n an e , n
'

passio fu l to t h flam of his wrath d mak it

n , ar e e e e ,
a n e

b laz th m or fi rc ly Why th
e e should Ot word
e e e .
, en, n s

o f t h opposit charact r produc opposit r sults

e e d e e e e ,
a n

that most bl ss d f all passio s of t h so u l ki d ss

e e o n e ,
n ne ,

b a u g m t d by ki d words
e en e P opl th at f or v n ! e e ar e e er

sp aki g ki dly
e n for v r disi cli i g th ms lv s t
n ,
ar e e e n n n e e e o

ill t mp r
-
e e .

“K i d words mak oth r p opl good atur d

n Cold e e e e n e .

words fr z p opl d hot words scorch th m

ee e e d e , an e ,
an

sarc stic words irritat th m d b it t r wor ds m ak

“

a e e ,
an e e

th m b itt r d wrathful words mak th m wrathful

e e , an e e .
 H I N TS EOR G E N LEMANL Y D EPO R TMENT
T
‘

. 2 07

An d ki d words also produc th ir w imag

n m e e o n e on en s
’

souls A d a b au ti f ul i m ag i t is Th y sooth
. n e d e . e e , an

q ui t d com f ort t h b
e , an Th y ha m him o u t of e e ar e r . e S e

hi so u r m oros
s u ki d f li gs
,
d h has to b co m
e, n n ee n ,
a n e e e

ki d him s lf
n e .

Th r is such
‘
rush of all oth r ki d f words i
e e a e n o , n

o ur days that it s ms d sirabl to giv ki d w ords

,
ee e e e n a

C ha c am o g th m Th r
n e vai w ords d idl
n e . e e ar e n ,
a n e

w ords d h sty word

,
a n d p it f u l words
a d silly s , an S e ,
a n

words d mpty words N w ki d words

,
an e b tt . e ,
n ar e e er

tha t h whol f th m d it is a pity that am o g t h

n e e o e ,
an , n e

improv m t s of t h pr s t g birds of this f ath r

e en e e en a e, e e

might t hav mor cha c tha th y hav had to spr ad

no e e n e n e e e

th ir wi gs
e n .

“K i d words n da g r f b i g driv f rom th ~

ar e i n n e o e n en e

fi ld lik fright d pig o s i th s days f b oist rou

e , e en e e n , n e e o e s

w ords d w arlik words

,
a n d passio t words eTh y ,
a n na e . e

hav t t h brass to sta d up lik so m a y gr adi rs

e no e n , e n en e ,

an d fight th ir w way am o g t h thro g B sid s

e o n n e n . e e ,

th y hav b out f
e so lo g that th y hardly k o w
e e en o us e n ,
e n

wh th r th y hav y right to m ak th ir app ara c

e e e e an e e e n e

an
y mor i our bu stli g world
e ; t
n k o w i g b u t that n no n n ,

p rhaps t h world was do with th m d wo ld h t

e , e ne e ,
an u o

lik th ir o mp a y y m or
e e c n an e .

“L t u s w lco m th m bac k W hav

e e t do with
e e . e e no ne

th m W hav
e . t y t b gu to
e th m i s u ch
e no e e n , us e e n

ab u da c as th y ought to b us d W ca ot spar
n n e e e e . e nn e

th m e .
”

7 0 Th first st p to w ards pl asi g v ry

. e is to
e e n e e on e

en d avor to off d
e T g iv pai by a light
en n o on e . o e n or

j sti g r mark i as much b r ach of ti qu tt as t

e n e s a e e e e, o
2 08 G EN LEME N S BOOK
T
’
OE E IQUE TE
T T .

giv pai by wou d mad wi th st l w apo i

e n a n e a ee e n, s a

br a h f hu m a ity
e c o n .

71 “A g tl ma wil l
. vr en his to gu to rail
e n ne e us e n e

a nd b rawl agai st y ; to p ak nvil of oth

an rs i on e S e e e n

th ir abs
e ; to xagg
enc e rat y of his stat e m ts ; to e e an e en
'

S p ak harshly to child or to t h poor ; to sw ar li

e r en e e , e

or improp r la g ag ; to hazard ra dom d im

us e e n u e n an

probabl stat m ts ; to p ak rashly or viol tly upo

e e en S e en n

an
y subj ct ; to d c iv
e p opl b y circulati ge fals
e r portse e e n e e ,

or to o ff up lip s rvic i r ligio B ut h will

er -
e it e n e n. e use

t co v y to m a ki d us ful i f or m a tio ; to i struct hi

o n e n n e n n n s

family d oth rs who d it ; t war d r prov th

an e n ee o n an e e e

w i k d ; to co m fort
c e d co sol th a fflict d ; to h r an n e e e C ee

th timid d f arful ; to d f d t h i oc t d p~
e an e e en e nn en an O

pr ss d ; to pl ad for t h widow d orpha ; to

e e e e an n c on

grat ulat t h succ ss of th virtuous d t co f ss

e e e e , a n o n e ,

t arfully d pray rfully his faults

e an e , .
”

7 2 Ch st rfi ld says
. e Civility is particul arly d to
e e , ue

a ll wo m ; d r
en m m b r that
an h provocatio
, e whatso e e , o n

e vr e jus tif y y m i
c an t b i g civil to an v ry an n no e n e e

wo m a ; d th gr at st m would j u stly b e r cko d

n an e e e an e ne

a brut if h w r e t civil to t h m a
e e es t wo m a It
no e e ne n.

is d to th ir
ue d is t he o ly prot ctio
e s e x, a n th y hav n e n e e

agai st t h sup rior t gth f ours ; y v n a littl

n e e s r en
l

o na , e e e

is allowab l with wo m e d a m m y witho u t en : an an a

,

w ak ss t ll wo m h is ith r ha dsom r or W s r
e ne ,
e a en s e e e n e i e

tha h is (Ch st rfi ld would t hav said this i

n S e .
”
e e e no e n

t h pr se t g of stro g m d d s e sibl wom )

e en a e n in e ,
n e en .

7 3 Th r is much tac t
. e e d good b r di g to b dis an ee n e

play d t h corr ctio of y littl rror that may

e in e e n an e e

occur i co v r ati n T n y hortly

e s — “ You on . o sa , S ,
ar e
 2 10 GEN LEMEN S BOO K o r E Q UE TTE
T
’
TI .

tou h or rais your hat though you

c e t q m t d ,
ar e n o ac ua e

with t h la dy
(

e .

79 “ Although it is w v ry m uch t h custom i no e e n

,
.

m a y w lthy famili s for t h butl r to i th

‘

n ea e , e e r e n o ve e

dish s f om th t abl d c rv th m
e r e th id boarde an a e e . ou e s e ,

th u s savi g troubl to th mast r or mi tr s of th

n e e e s es e

ho u s d ti m to t h gu sts t h p
e, an et t g e e ,
e r a c 1 ce 1s n o so en

e ral ve amo gst what

e n call d t h high r cl s s of
n ar e e e e a se

so m ty that g
e ral i structio s for carvi g will b
ene n n n e un

i t r ti g to th m to say othi g f t h m or um ro
n e es n e ,
n n o e e n e us

class who although abl d to plac good d ish s b f or

, , en e e
~
e e e

th ir f ri ds
e ent W althy ,
a o gh t o k p a b utl
r e no e en u ee er

if th y w r so i cli d G ood carvi g is t a c rtai

e e e n ne . n ,
o e n

e xt t i dicativ of good soci ty f it prov to m

en , n e e ,
or es co

pa y that t h host do
n t giv a di
e r party f t h es no e nn e or e

first t m bu t is accustom d t
1 e, f ri ds d f e o r e c e 1 ve en ,
a n re

q u ently to disp s t h ch r of a hospitabl

en e b oard e ee e .

Th m ast r or mistr ss of
e e ho u s who do t k ow
e a e, es no n

how to carv is t u f r qu tly look d po as

e, no
g n e en e u n an 1

n or an t p as p rso wh ca ot tak a ha d t
u r ven u , a e n o nn e n a

whist i good soci ty is r gard d as

, n w h has pass d
e ,
e e on e o e

his ti m i th parlor f a p u blic hous playi g at cri b

e n e o e, n

b ag or all fo rs I d p d tly how v r f t h i m

e u . n e en en ,
e e ,
o e

porta c of k owi g how to carv w ll f t h purpos

n e n n e e , or e e

f r gali g o s f ri ds d ac q uai ta c s t h sci c

’
o e n ne en an n n e , e en e,

an d it is a sci c is valuabl ac q uir m t for y

en e, a e e en an

m it ab l s him at public or privat di r t

an , a s en e ,
a e nn e
, o

r d r valuabl aid Th r
en e ma y di rs t wh
e . e e ar e n ne -
ou o

ar e w lco m m r ly b caus th y k o w how to c arv

e e e e e e e n e.

S om m e amus b y th ir co v rsatio ; oth rs

en e f e n e n e ar e a

vo r it b caus th y
es e g a go od o g ; b t t h m
e e c an S l u s n u e an
 H INTS FOR GE N TLEM AN LY D EPOR TMENT
’

. 2 11

who mak s him s l f u s f ul d agr abl to all is h wh

e e e an ee e , e o

carv s with l ga c
e d sp d e e W r om m d t h
n e an ee . e ec en e

ovic i this art to k p a wat h f ul y upo v ry

n e n , ee c e e n e e su
‘

p rior arv r w ho m h m y m t at di r I this way

e c e e a ee nn e . n

h will soo b co m w ll v rs d i t h
e n e t d myst ry
e e e e n e ar an e

f c u tti g u p
”
o n .

8 0 Y ars m y pass ov r our h ads without a ff ordi g

. e a e e n

an opportu ity f acts of high b fi

n oror xt siv en e c en ce e en e

utility ; w h r as t a day pass s but i co mm o tra s

e e ,
n o e , n n n

a tio s f lif
c n d
o sp ially i t h i t rco urs f
e , an ,
e ec n e n e e o so

c i ty court sy fi ds plac f
e , e pro m oti g th hap pi s
n e or n e ne s

o f oth rs e d f str gth i g i o urs lv s th habit

,
a n or en en n n e e e s

o f u s lfish polit
n e ss Th r situatio s t a f w
en e . e e ar e n ,
n o e ,

i h u m a li f
n wh n o uragi g r c p t io a co d
e, e n an e n c n e e n, n e

sc di g b havio u r d a look f sympathy bri g

en n e ,
an o ,
n

g r at
e r reli f to t he h art
e tha t h m ost bou tief u l gi fet n e n .

8 1 C cil says
. e
“ You m y asily m ak a s satio a e e en n
,

b ut a s satio is a vulgar tri umph T k p p t h

en n . o ee u e

s satio f
en xcit m t you m u t b always sta di g
n o an e e en , s e n n

on yo u r h a d (m orally p aki g) d th attitud lik

e S e n ,
an e e, e

ev rythi g ov rstrai d wo uld b com f atig ui g to your

e n e ne , e e n

se l f d t dious to o th rs Wh r as to obtai p r m a
an e e . e e ,
n e

n en t f avor as agr abl w ll br d m r quir

,
an ee e, e -
e an , e es

simply rcis f th u d rsta di g

an e x e e o e n e n n
”
.

8 2 Th r is
. vic m r truly u g tl ma l y tha
e e no e o e n en e n n

that f usi g profa la g u ag L am o t says

o n ne n e . n :
“What v r f ortu emay b mad b y p rj ury I b li v
e ne e e e e e e
,

th r v r was a m who m ad a f ortu by commo

e e ne e an e ne n

sw ari g It o f t app ars that m pay f sw ari g

e n . en e en or e n ,

but it s ldom happ th at th y paid f i t It i

e ens e ar e or . s

no t asy to p rc iv what ho or or cr dit is co ct d

e e e e n e nne e
2 12 GEN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
or E TI QUE T E T .

w ith i t Do s y m r c iv pro m otio b caus h i

. e an an e e e n e e e s

a otabl b lu st r r ! O r is y m adva c d to dignity

n e e e an an n e

b caus h is xp rt at profa sw ari g ! N v r L ow

e e e e e ne e n e e .

m u st b t h charact r which such im p rti c will

e e e e n en e

exalt high must b th charact r which su h imp t i

: e e e c er

ne mc will e t d grad I xcusabl th r f or mu t

no e e. ne e, e e e, s

b t h practic which h
e e ith r aso
e pass o to as ne er e n n or 1 n

support it Th dru kard has his cups ; th satirist his

. e n e ,

r v g ; th ambitious m his pr f r m ts ; t h m is r
e en e e an , e e en e e ,

his gold ; b ut t h co mmo sw ar r has othi g ; h is

e n e e n n e a

fool at larg s lls his so u l for ought d drudg s i

e, e n ,
a n e n

th V
e s er f t h d vil gratis
1c e o S w ari g void f all
e e . e n 1s o

p l a ; it is t th ativ o ff spri g of t h soul

e no e n i tr e n e , n o r n e

wov with t h t xtur f t h b ody

en e a yhow alli d
e e o e ,
n o r ,
n , e

to our fram F or as Tillotso xpr ss s it Tho u gh

e. ,
n e e e ,
‘

so m m pour out oaths as if th y w r atural y t

e en e e e n , e no

m an was v r b or of sw ari g co stitutio

e e n Bu t it a e n n n.
’

is a custo m a low d paltry custo m pick d p by l w

, an a , e u o

an d paltry pirits who hav S s s of ho or g d e no en e n ,

n o r e ar

to d c cy b t
e en forc d to s ubstitut so m rhapsody
, u ar e e e e

of o s s to s pply t h ac cy f good s s
n n en e u e v an o en e .

H c t h silli ss of th practic
en e, e o ly b quall d
ne e e c an n e e e

b y t h silli ss of thos who adopt it

e ne e .
”

8 8 Dr Joh so
. says that to co v rs w ll th r
. n n
“ n e e e e e

must i th first plac b k owl dg th r must b e

,
n e — e, e n e e e e

mat rials ; i th s co d plac th r must b a comma d

e n e e n e, e e e n

o f words ; i th third plac th r must b imagi atio

n e e, e e e n n

t plac thi g i such vi ws as th y n s t co m m o ly

n e
o
e e ar e no n

s een i ; d i nth fourth plac th r must b

an ,
n e e, e e e a

p r s c of
e en e mi d d so l tio th tni t t
, a b
n v a re u n a s no o e o er
 G E N TLE ME N S BO OK ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

an u gl y
so t fro m th sm ok of t h pit for all that d:
o e e e ,
a n

it is b tt r to hav your h rt s w pt cl a of th m
e e e ea e e n e ,

without t ppm g t o co sid r wh th r th y larg d ‘

s O n e e e e ar e e an

b lack .

9 0 Th adva tag
. ed c ssity of ch rful s d
n e an ne e ee ne s an

In e t llig t i t rc urs wit h th world is stro gly t b e

en n e o e e n o

re co mm d d A m who k ps aloof from soci ty d

en e . an ee e an

l iv s o ly for him s lf do s t fulfil t h wis i t tio s

e n e , e no e e n en n

o f P rovid c who d sig d that w sho ld b

en e, mut al e ne e u e a u

h lp d co m for t to ach oth r i lif

e an e e n e.

M rit nd good b di g~
,

9 1 Ch st rfi ld says e
“ e e w ill e a r ee n
.
,

mak th ir way v rywh r K owl dg will i trodu

e e e e e e. n e e n ce

m an , an d good b r di g will d ar him to t h b st ee n en e e e

co mp m ; f a polit ss d good br di g
es or , b en e an ee n ar e a so

l t ly
u e c ssary to ador y or ll oth r good quali t i s
ne e n an , a ,
e e

or tal ts Witho u t th m
en . k o w l dg h p rf ctio e ,
n o n e e, o e e n

w hat v r is s e e t b t li gh t
,
Th scholar wi t hou t
e e n In 1 s es . e
-

good br di g is a p da t ; t h philosoph r a y ic ;
ee n , e n e e , c n

t h soldi r a brut ; d v ry m
”
e e ,
d g e b l e an e e an 1s a r ea e .

9 2 It is v ry s ldo m that a m
. emay p r m it him
e an e

se lf to t ll stori s i so i ty ; th y
e g rally
e n c e e ar e , en e ,

t diou
e d t m a y pr s t will probably hav all t h
s, an , o n e en , e e

e ne
“
w ari ss f a twic told tal o A short brillia t e -
e.
”
n an
,

ec d t which is sp cially ap plicabl to t h co v rsatio

o e, e e e e n e n

g o w g is all that
on, a w ll br d m will v r p r m it e -
e an e e e

him s lf to i flict
e n .

9 8 It is b tt r to tak t h to
. of t h soci ty i to
e e e e ne e e n

w hi h you c throw tha to d avor to l ad oth rs

are n, n en e e e

a f t r you
e Th way to b co m truly pop ular is to b
. e e e e

grav with t h grav j s t with t h gay d co v r

e e e, e e ,
a n n e se

s en sibly with tho who s k to display th ir s se ee e ens e .

 H IN TS FOR G EN T LEM AN LY D EPOR TME NT . 2 15

Wat h a h f yo u r actio s wh i so i ty that

94 . c e c o n , en n c e ,

all th habits whi h yo u co tra t th r m y b u s f l

e c n c e e a e e u

an d good o s L ik flak s f s ow that f all m

ne . e e o n u

p rc iv d upo th arth t h s mi gly u i mp orta t

e e e n e e , e ee n n n

e v ts f lif s u cc d
en o a oth r A th s ow gath rs
e ee on e n e . s e n e

tog th r so o u r habits f or m d N o si gl flak that

e e , ar e e . n e e

is add d to t h pil produ c s a s sibl cha g

e e — si gl
e e en e n e no n e

a tio cr at s how v r i t m y xhibit a m a s haract r ;

c n e e , e e a e , n
’
c e

but t h t m p st hurls t h avala

,
a s e e h do w t h m o u
e e nc e n e n

tai d v r w h l ms t h i habita t
n , an o e d his habitatio
e e n n an n

so passio acti g upo th l m ts f m is hi f w hi h

n, n n e e e en o c e , c

p r i ious habits hav bro ught tog th r by im p rc ptibl

e n c e e e e e e

a c um ulatio may ov rthrow t h difi f truth d

c n, e e e ce o an

virt u e .

9 5 Th r is . gr at r f ault i good br di g tha

e e no e e n ee n n

too gr at ditfid e S hy ss cra mps v ry m otio

en c e . ne e e
“
n
,

c logs very word Th o ly way to ov rco m th f a ult

e . e n e e e

is to m i co sta tly i so i ty d t h habit u al i t r

x n n n c e ,
a n e n e

co u rs with oth rs w ill giv you t h grac f ul as f

e e e e e e e o

ma r which shy ss u tt rly d stroys

n ne ne e e .

9 6 If you . oblig d to l av larg co m pa y at

ar e e e e a e n

a n arly ho ur,tak F r h l av S lip away p

e e en c e e . un er

i d if yo u
c e ve , but at y rat withou t y f or m al
c an , ,
an e, an

l a taki g
e ve -
n .

9 7 Avoid q u arr ls
. If you co vi c d v that e . ar e n n e , e en ,

yo u hav t h right id i e argu m t yi ld yo u r

e S e n an en , e

O p i io ngra f u lly
n i f this is t hce o ly way to avoid
,
a e n

e ,
“
q u arr l sayi g W ca ot agr I n b u t this i e nn e e, s ee, na
,

b li ty mu st
i t d priv m f a f ri d so w will dis u ss
no e e e o en ,
e c

t h s u bj ct
e f u rth r e F w m no will b abl to et e en e e r e s Is

y our court sy d good ture b ut m a

an y would try t na e, n o
 G ENTLEME N S BOO K ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

comb at an o b sti at n e a dh r c e en e to you r o wn sid e of t he

q u stio e n

void th filthy hab it of which for ig r i t hi

98 . A e e ne s n s

n —
cou try justly co mpla I m a spitti g
so in e n n .

9 9 If y . b ows to you i t h
an st r t r
on e tur t h n e ee , e n e

b w I t may b
o . n ac q ua ta c whos fac you d o e a in n e e e

no t i mm di t ly r cog z e d if it isa e stra g r wh e ni e , an a n e o

m stak s you for a o th r y ur court ous bow will r li v

i e n e , o e e e e

him fro m t h mb arrassm t m g from his mistak

e e en ar i s e.

1 0 0 Th f ll wm g hi ts co v rsatio l d th
‘ ’

. e o o n on n e n c on c u e e

chapt r e
“Co v rsatio may b carri d
n e succ ss f u lly b y p
n e e on e er
”

o wh hav
S ns id a that it is or may b
o e no art e e an
,
as

cl v r thi g
e e so m tim s d o without study B t
n s ar e e e ne . u

th r e be c rtai ty of good co v rsatio

c an e no e n n e n in or

di y
n arcircums a c s d a m o gst o r di tary mn d s e , an n n in ,

u l ss c rtai rul s b o b s rv d d c rta rrors b

n e e n e e e e ,
an e in e e

The firs t
gr at st rul q u stio ably is that
an d e e e un e n ,

a ll mus t b favorably d spos d towards ach oth r

e d i e e e , an

willi g to b p l as d Th r must b
n e sul l or m
e e . e e e no en u

—
,

ea sy looki g p rso
-
e wh n vid tly thi ks h
e n no on o e en n e

has f all i t u suit b l co m pa y d whos sol m

en n o n a e n ,
a n e e ai

it i to tak car l st his dig ity b i jur d

s e — e e n e n e no ,
on e

w hos f li g e of m oro or asc tic a ki d that h

ee n s ar e so se e n e

a ot joi with t o b s rvabl pa d h sitatio i t h

!

c nn n ou e e i n an e n n e ,

playf ul s of th sc —
ne s matt r f f t p r o wh e en e no e -
o -
ac
-

e s n, o

t k s all t hi g lit r lly

a e d m a s all thi gs lit rally
n s e a ,
an e n n e ,

an d thi ks it as gr at n crim to say so m thi g i j s t e a e e n n e

as to d it ar st O
o f y of th
in s class
e ne . ne o an e e es

o f p r o uffici t t m th joym t f b n
e s ns i s s en o ar e en en s o a u -
c
218 G ENTLEME N S BOOK ’
or
”
E TIQUE TTE .

un
g r at ifie w a tdof r.g latio
The h r v ry m a i n e u n is e e e n

f st It wo uld b b tt r to hav a pr sid t who should

e . e e e e e en

a llow v rybody a mi ut i succ ssio to p ak witho ut

e e n e n e n S e

i t rruptio tha thu to hav fr do m d so m n

n e n, n s e ee ,
a n o

t
s r o us ly t abus it Th o ly r m dy
o.
e far as m t
. e n e e ,
a s ee

i gs b y i vitatio
n n co c r d is to tak car that
n ar e n e ne , e e no

m or eag r talk rs
e e i troduc d tha e ab solut ly ar e n e n ar e e

ne c ssary to pr v t co v rsatio fro m flaggi g O

e e en n e n n . ne

to v ry six or ight p rso s is t h ut mos t that

e e e b e n e c an e

s af ly ll ow d
e a e .

“Th da g r of i trod u ci g politics

e n e ny oth r n n or a e no
,

t i
o r ous ly co trov rs al s u bj ct , n m x d compa i s is so
e i e in i e n e ,

g rally ack owl dg d that co v rsatio is i littl

en e n e e n e n n e

—
,

da g n t l ast i
er a e—
polit circl s from that sourc n e e e
,
Bu t w ngl m t ra v rth l ss e apt to ar s V ry
en s , ne e e e , a r e i e. e

fr qu tly th com pa y f alls t g th r by t h ars i

e en e n o e e e e
‘

co s qu c f th starti g f som topic i which fac t

n e en e o e n o e n s

ar e —
co c r d wit h whi h facts
n e ne cha c s t b c no on e n e o e

a c quai t d n e .

Co v rsatio is f t much spoil t thr ough slight i

n e n o en n

a tt tio s or m isappr h sio

en n t h part f a parti e en n s on e o en

l m m b r of t h co m pa y I t h m idst of so m i
!

ar e e e n . n e e n

t er e st i g arrativ or discussio ,h sudd

n n ly puts all to
e n e en

a stop ord r that so m littl p r pl xity m y b

,
i n e e e e e a e ex

p lai dnewhic h h ,
co u ld v r hav f all i eto i f h had ne e e en n
, e

b e en pay g a f air d gr f att tio to what was goi g

in e ee o en n n

on . O r h has so m pr cio u s pr judic j arr d po by

e e e e e e u n

s o m thi g said or suppos d to b said d all is at

e n , e e ,
an a

s ta d till h has b
n ,
through th u it d ex rtio s of
e e en , e n e e n a

ve x d co mpa y assur d nd put at his as O f t

e n ,
r e -
‘

e a e e. en

th most frivolo s i t rruptio f om such c us

e u wi ll di
n e n r a es s
 H INTS FOR G EN TLEM AN L Y D EPOR TMENT ’

. 219

co c rt t h whol strai f th co v rsatio

n e e d spoil
e n o e n e n
,
an

th e enjoy m t f a s or f p opl en o c e o e e.

“Th ag r sp ak rs lr ady all u d d to

e e e a diff r
e e ,
a e e ,
a r e e

en t lass f ro m t hos w h m y b
c all d t h d t r m i dly e o a e c e e e e ne

loqu acio us A thoroughly loq u acio u s m h

. id an as no ea

o f a yt hi g b u t a co sta t o u tp o u ri g f talk f ro m his

n n n n n o

o w m o u th
n If h sto ps f . a m o m t h thi ks h e or en , e n e

is t doi g his duty to t h co mp y ; d a io u s that

no n e an an ,
nx

th r sho uld b
e e cau s f co mplai t agai st him
e no e o n n on

that s or h rath r r p ats a s t c or giv s th

c e, e e e e e n en e, e e

s am id a i difl t words or b
e e n d haws a li ttl
e r en ,
u rn s an e,

tha allow the l ast pa u s to tak pla

n Th e otio e e ce . e n n

that y oth r body

an b d siro u s
e f sayi g a w ord c an e e o n ,

ne v r t rs hi h ad H wo uld as soo s uppos that

e en e s e . e n e

a b ggar was a xio u s to b sto w al m s up o hi m as that

e n e n ,

an
y co u
on e ld wish to sp ak as lo g as h hi m s l f was e ,
n e e

willi g to sav th m t h tro ubl A y att m pt to i t r

n e e e e. n e n e

r upt him is q uit h p l ss Th o ly ff t f t h so u d e o e e . e n e ec o e n

o f a oth r voic is to rais t h so u d f his w

n e e so as e e n o o n,

to dro w it E v to giv a slight twist or tu r to t h

n . en e n e

fl w f his id as is scarc possibl

o o Wh
e a d cid d
, e e. x
en e e

att mpt is m ad to g t i a f w words h o ly says with

e e e n e , e n ,

an air f o ff d d f li g t ff w ith a tart co urt sy

o en e ee n , se o e ,

Allow m sir or Wh yo u do sir ; as if h

’ ‘ ’
‘
e , , en ar e ne, e

w r a m
e e whom obody w o uld allo w
an
y o asio n
, o n an cc n,

to say all h had t y If how v r h has b p

e o sa r

.
, e e , e een er

mit t d to talk
e d i c ssa tly a whol v gon an on n e n e e eni n ,

to t h o mpl t closi g of t h mo u ths f t h r st h

e c e e n e o e e , e

go s a way with all t h b vol t glow f f li g whi h

e e en e en o ee n c

aris s f ro m a gratifi d f a culty r m arki g to t h g tl

e e , e n e en e

m anwho tak s his m What a gr a t d al of pl asa t

e ar ,
‘
e e e n
2 20 G E N LEMEN S BOOK
T
’
or E QUE T E
TI T .

co v rsatio w hav had ! d chatt r forth all the

n e n e e
’
an e s

w y ho m s u ch s t c s as E xc ll t f llo w our host ‘ ’

a e en en e , e en e , ,
‘
char m g wif d lightf ul family altog th r alway
in e,
’ ‘
e e e ,
’ ‘
s

mak v rybody so happy

e e e .
’

“A oth r class of poil rs f co v rsatio

n e t h l oud s e O n e n ar e e

t alk rs b lust r rs Th y
e or t um rous b ut
e e . e ar e no n e , on e

is ough to d stroy th co mf ort of thirty p opl for

en e e e e a

whol v i g Th l east oppositio to y of his id a

e e en n . e n an e s

mak s t h bl u st r r ris i his might d b llow d

e e e e e n ,
an e , a n

r oar d b llo w agai till t h whol co m pa y i i

,
a n e n, e e n s n

s o m thi g lik th co di t io f Z E
e n efl t aft r E olu
e n n o nea s s
’
ee e s

has do his worst Th soci ty joy d b y this ki d

ne . e e en e n

O f m is a s r s of fi t i it ti
an e ie rs nv a on s .

Whil b lust r rs d d t rm dly l o quaciou p rso

e e e an e e i ne s e ns

ar e b st l f t to th ms lv s
e e d whil dl ss worryi ge e e , an e en e n s

on u k ow thi gs n n to b avoid d it i c ssary

n n ar e e e , s ne e

b oth that or two good co v rsatio sts should b t

on e n e ni e a

e v ry party d that th strai f t h co v rsatio

e ,
a n e n o e n e n

should t b allow d to b co m too tam I all i

no e e e e e. n n

v it d parti s
e ight of v ry t p rso ns
e , e dispos d t e e en e ar e e o

hold th i p ac or to co fi th m s lv s to m yl
e r e e, n ne e e e on os

labi a s w rs to co mmo p lac i q uiri s It is c ssary

o n e n e n e . ne e ,

th r f or that th r should b m who a sp ak d

e e e, e e e so e c n e ,
an

en —
that flu tly if t t rtai i gly o ly t too m a y,
no en e n n n no n .

Bu t all g i g f co v rsa tioen d all t u rbul c

r os s n o n e n , an en e,

an d ov r ag r ss e d gotis m
-
e to b co d m d
e ne ,
an e ,
a r e e n e ne .

A v ry soft e d qui t m a has at last b

an s ttl d e nner , , e en e e

u po i t h m or l vat d circl s as t h b st f
n, n e e e e e e , e e or c on

v rsatio P rhaps th y carry it to a pitch f aff cta

e n. e e o e

t o ; b u t y t wh w obs rv t h i j urio u s co s
i n , e , en e e e e n u e

q of t h
ue n c e s Opposit sty l i l ss polit
e compa i s i t e e n e e n e ,
 2 22 G ENTLE MEN S B OO K OF E TIQUE TT
’
E.

C H A P TE R X I I .

R PA T IE S .

N ow t h r ma y diff r t ki d parti s
‘

, e e ar e n e en n s e .

Th r t he v g party th m ti é th r adi g ’
‘

e e ar e e e ni n ,
e a n e, e e n ,

da c g d g g parti s t he pic ic t h b oati g

n in ,
a n Si n in e , n , e n ,

an d t h ridi g parti s e d t h d u ti s for ach

n e an e e e o n e ar e

d isti c t y t i ma y poi ts imi l ar

n , e , n O pr t b n n , S . ur es e n su

j ect is

THE E V E NIN G P AR TY .

hs T of t w ki d l g d mall F th
e e ar e o n s, ,
ar e an s . or e

first you will r c v formal card o ta g t he com

, e ei e a , c n i ni n

p l i m t of your host
en s ss for a c rtai v ni g d thi s e e n e e n ,
a n

calls for f ull dr s a dr ss coat d whit or v ry ligh t

e s, e ,
a n e e

glov T t h s m all party you will pro b ably b

es . o e vit d e in e

v rbally by m or fam iliar styl f ot tha t h

e , o r a e e O n e n e

co mplim t car d H r you may W ar glov s if y

en . e e e e ou

w ill bu t you d t do so u l ss p rf ctly agr abl t

,
nee no n e e e ee e o

yours lf e .

If y to act scort to a lady you must call t

o u ar e as e ,
a

t h hour h choos s to
e am s d t h most l ga t way
e e n e , an e e e n

is to tak carr ag for h e a If you wish t pr s t

i e er . o e en a

bouq u t you may d so with p r f ct propr ty

e , if o e e ie , e v e n

y h
ouv b t lightaac q u e t cu with h r
a s ai n an e e .
 PAR IE S T . 2 23

Wh you r ach t h hous f yo u r host ss f th

en e e e O e or e

e v i g sc t yo u r co mpa io to t h d m g roo m
en n ,
e or n n e r es s -

an d l av h at t h door Af t r you hav d pos it d

e e er e . e e e e

you r w hat nd gr at coat i th g tl m s dr ssi g

o n a e -
n e en e en
’
e n

roo m r tur to t h ladi s door d w ait f yo ur m

,
e n e e
’
an or co

p i
ari O ff
on r h yo
. u r right m e d l ad h
er to th ar ,
a n e er e

drawi g room d at o c t th host ss th tak h

n -

,
a n ,
n e, o e e , en e er

to a s at d r mai with h u til h has oth r m

e ,
a n e n er n s e e co

p a io
n s b for n ,you s k y
e of yo u r ew f ri ds i t h ee an o n en n e

roo m .

Th r i much m or r al
e e s joy m t d sociability i e e en en an n

a w ll e
g d -
pa rty
a rr a ntha i a b all e though m a y of ,
n n ,
n

t h po ts f
e tiqu tt to b Obs rv d i th latt r
in o e e e e e e n e e ar e

q u ally applicabl to t h f or m r Th r is m or ti m
/

e e e e . e e e e

allow d f co v rsatio
e or d th r n et so m a y n , an ,
a s e e ar e n o n

p o pl coll ct d th r is also m or Opportu ity f

e e e e ,
‘

e e e n or

f or mi g acq u ai ta c s At a i x ll
’
e
n
p n n . s o r e e, ar e ce en c e,

m u sic da ci g , d co v rsatio
n n all admissibl
,
a n d n e n ar e e, an

i f t h ho t ss has tact
e s e d discr tio this vari ty is v ry an e n e e

pl asi g A th r
e n . ma y tim s wh th r is
s e e ar e n e en e e no

pia ist or m u sic gag d for d a ci g you will do w ll

n en e n n ,
e ,

if yo u a p rfor m r th pia o f ort to l ar so m

ar e e e on e n -
e, e n e

q u adrill s d rou d da c that you my volu t

e , an n n es, a n eer

your s rvic s as h t e D e t i this cas or c wait to es r a . O no , n e,

b solicit d to play b u t o ff r your s rvic s to t h host s

e e , e e e e e s,

or if th r is a lady at th pia o ask p r missio to

, e e e n , e n re

li v h
e e T tur t h l av s f
er . oa oth r d so m n e e e or n e , an e

tim s all figur s

e c also good atur d d w ll br d
e , ar e n e an e -
e

a tio s
c n

Th r i pi f r u d ss v ry co mmo at parti s
e e s on e ec e O en e e n e ,

agai st which I would cautio you You g p opl v ry

n n . n e e e
2 24 G E N LEMEN S BOOK
T
’
or E IQUE T E
T T .

oft form a group d i d ulg i t h most b oist ro u

en ,
a n n e n e e s

m rrim t d loud laught r f j sts k ow o ly to

e en an e , or e n n n

t h m s lv s Do t j oi s u ch a gro up A w ll br d '

e e e . no n . e -
e

m an ,whil h is ch r f ul d gay will void y p

e e ee an ,
a an a

p of
e a r an c e rompi g soci ty n in e .

If da ci g is to b t h a mus m t f th v i g
n n e e e en or e e en n ,

your first da c should b with t h lady who m yo un e e e ao

co mpa i d th i vit your host ss d if th r

n e ,
en ,
‘

n e e ,
a n ,
e e ar e

se v ral ladi s i t h fa mily you m ust i vit ach f th m

e e n e n e e o e

o c i t h cours of th v i g If you go alo

n e, n e e e e en n . n e,

i vit t h ladi s of th hous b for da c g with y

n e e e e e e e n in an

O f your oth lady fri ds er en .

N v r att mp t y da c with which you

e e ,
e t p
an n e ar e n o er

f t ly fa m iliar
ec N othi g is mor awkward d a oy . n e an nn

i g tha to hav
n n da c r b y hi ig ora c f t h e on e n e , s n n e O e

figur s co f u e , all t h oth rs i t h t d c rt i ly

n se e e n e s e , an e a n

no m wa ts to show ff his ig ora c of th teps f

an n o n n e e s O

a rou d da c b for roo m full of compa y

n n e e e a n .

D t d vo t
O noyours lf too much to e e l a dy A e on e .

party is m a t to promot ocia b ility d ma wh

e n e s , an a
!

n o

p rsists i t et a t t for t h v i g d stroys this i

e
’ n a e - -
e e e e en n , e n

t tio B sid you pr v t oth rs from joy g t h

en n. e es e en e en in e

pl asur of i t r c ours with th lady y thus mo opo

e e n e e e ou n

l iz e .

Avoid fl gr at i timacy with lady

'

y t t i an f a ec a
y on o e n an

pr s t ; d v if you r ally joy such i tim acy

e en an e en e en n , or

s h is e r l ativ do t app ar to hav co fid tial

a e e, no e e n en con

v rsatio or i
e y n, oth r way a ff
,
n ct air of cr cy
an e , e s se e or

gr at f a milia ity
e r .

Da c asily d grac fully k epi g p rf c t tim

n e e an e , e n e e e,

b tu t taki g t
no
gr t pai with
n
y our t p oo If y u ea ns s e s. o r
2 26 G EN TLE MEN S BOO K OF E TIQUE TTE ’
.

fo d of m
n usic will c s t co v rs d lis t t y ea e o n e e , an en o ou

an d thos who do t car efor it will t stop t lki g no e ,

no a n

if y wait upo t h p
ou stool u til day daw n e i an o n n.

R lativ s hould avoid ach oth r at

e e s party th y e e a , a s e

c an e nj oy a oth r soci ty at ho m
on e d it i s t h
n e
’
s e e, an e

co sta tly cha gi g t rcours

n n d co mpl t
n i bilit
n in e e , an e e s oc a

that mak party pl asa t e a e n .

P rivat co c rts d amat ur t h atrical s

e n e ry Oft an e e ar e ve en

t h occas o
e for v g parti s d m ak a v ry pl a
i ns e e ni n e , an e e e

s a t vari ty th usual da ci g d small talk A

n e on e n n an . n

E glish w rit r sp aki g of th m s ys

n e , e n e ,
a

“P rivat co c rts d mat ur th atricals ought to b

e n e an a e e e

ve ry good to b succ ssful Prof ssio als alo houl e e . e n ne s

b gag d for t h form r o b ut r al amat urs for th

e en
“
e e e ,n ne e e

latt r B oth ought to b b ut rar ly

e . follo w d by e, e ar e , e a

supp r si c t h y
e , g ally v ry fat gu g if
n e e ar e e n er e i in
, no

posi tiv ly t ryi g I e

y cas r fr shmne ts. d i n an e, e e n an ce

should b h d d b tw t h so g d th act P ri
e an e e e en e n s an e s .

v at co c rte ft g v i t h mor i g that is

n e s ar e o en i en n e
‘
n n ,
’

fro m two to six P M ; i t h v i g th ir hours ar . . n e e en n e

from gh t to l v ei Th rooms hould b arra g d i

e e en . e S e n e

t h sa m ma
e r for r c ptio th gu sts h u ld b
e nn e as a e e n, e e S o e

s at d d as music is t h avow d Obj ct a g ra

e e ,
a n e e e , en e

S il c pr s rv d whil it last B tw th so gs t h
en e e e e e s . e e en e n e

co v rsatio bbs back aga

n e d t h party tak s t h
n e i n , an e e e

g ra l form f a r c ptio F pr vat th atricals

en e o e e n. or i e e ,

ho w v r wh r e th r is
e e , p cial th atr
e d wh r t h
e e no S e e e , an e e e

c urtai is hu g as most com mo b tw th foldi g

n n ,
is n, e e en e n

doors th audi c roo m must b fill d with ch airs d

,
e en e -
e e an

b h s i rows d if p ibl t h b ack rows rais d

‘

enc e n ,
a n ,
oss e, e e

high r tha t h oth rs Th s

e n Oft r mov d wh
e e . e e ar e en e e en
 PAR TIE S . 2 27

t hep rforma c is ov r d th gu sts th co v rs

e n e e , an e e en n e e,

or so m tim s v da c Duri g th acti g it is r u d

,
e e , e en n e. n e n e

to talk xc p t i a v ry low to
, e d b it good
e n e n e , an , e or

bad you would v r thi k f hissi g

,
ne e n O n .
”

If you alo d oblig d to r tir

are arly from n e , an e e e e an

v i g party do t tak l av f your host ss b ut slip

e en n , no e e e O e ,

away p rc iv d un e e e .

i If you hav scort d a lady h t im must b yours

‘

n
.
e e e , er e e ,

d h will t ll you wh
an S e h is r ady to go e S en s e e . ee

wh th r th carriag has arriv d b for h go s to t h

e e e e e e e s e e e

dr ssi g roo m d r tur to t h parlor to t ll h

e n -

,
a n If e n e e er .

t h w ath r was pl asa t wh

e e you l ft ho m
e d y e n en e e , an ou

walk d asc rtai wh th r it is still pl asa t ; if t pro

e ,
e n e e e n no ,

c ur carriag f your co m pa io Wh it is at t h
e a e or n n. en e

d oor joi h ,
i t h drawi g roo m
n d O ff r yo u r arm
er n e n -

,
a n e

to l ad h to t h host ss f l av taki g maki g you

e er e e or e e -
n ,
n r

o w parti g b w at t h s a
n m ti mn th tak your com
o e e e, en e

pa io to th door f th ladi s dr ssi g roo m g t you

n n e O e e
’
e n -

,
e r

o w nhat d wait i t h try u til h co m s o u t

an n e en n s e .
e .

Wh you r ach your co m pa io s hous do t

en e n n
’
e, no ao

c pt h i vitatio to t r but ask p rm issio to call i

e er n n en e , e n n

th mor i g or th followi g v i g d mak that

e n n , e n e en n ,
a n e

call .
2 28 G ENTLE MEN S B O OK ’
OE ETIQUETI E ’‘
.

C HA P TE R X I I I .

O UR A HO M C TE S Y T E .

TH ERE ma y m i th s worl d wh would b

ar e n en n i , o e

horror struck if accus d f t h l ast br ach of ti q u tt e O e e e e e e

t owards th ir fri ds d ac q uai ta c s broa d d y t

e en an n n e a ,
an e ,

wh will at ho m utt rly disr gard t h

o mpl s t rul s f
e e e e Si e e o

polit s s if such rul i t r f r

en e ,
t h l ast with t h es n e e e in e e ei r

o w s lfish gratificatio
n e Th y disr gard t h pur d n. e e e e an

holy ti s which hould m ak cour t sy at hom pl asur

e S e e e a e e

as w ll as a duty Th y forg t tha t hom has w t

e . e e e a s ee

po try f its w cr at d t f th simpl st mat rials

e O o n, e e ou O e e e ,

y te ,hau ti g mor or
n l ss t h n s cr ,
t f v ry e e ,
e e e r ecess es o e e

hum a h art ; it is divid d i to thousa d s parat

n e e n a n e e

po m s which should b full of i dividual i t r st littl

e , e n n e e , e

q u t touch s f f li g d gold r coll ctio s which

ie e O ee n an en e e n ,
,

i t h h art of a t ruly obl m

n e e i t r w ov wit h n e an , a r e n e en

his v ry bei g Co mm o thi gs

e n to him hallow d
. n n ar e , , e

an d mad b au ti f u l by the p ll of m m ory d assoc a

e e S e e an i

tio owi g all th ir glory to t h halo of hi w pur

n, n e e s o n e,

fo d aff ctio Th y of a tra g

n e n. s t coldly e e e s n er re s on

s uch r v latio s ; th ir si mpl pathos is ha d t b

e e n e e r o e nu

d t d;
er s o o d th y s mil o f t ti m s at t h q uai t s
an e e en e e n ne s

o f thos pa sag s which mak oth rs w p

e s With t h
e e e ee . e

b autiful i sti c t f tru fl ti

e n nhom l v tai s ,
o e a ec on, e o e re n
2 80 G EN TLE MEN S B OOK ’
OE E TIQUE TE T .

what do s th hom circl co sist ! F irst th r

In e e e e n , e e

ar e t h par ts wh hav watch d ov r your i f a cy

e en o e e e n n

an d childhood d who m you o mm a d d by th

, an ar e c n e e

e
“
High s t P ow r to ho or Th t h broth rs d i
e n . en e e an S s

t rs t h wif wh h
e , e l ft h w ho m
e d all i t
o as e er o n e an s

t d r ti s for your sak d th hild wh l ook t

‘

en e e e , an e c r en o o

you for xampl guidanc e d i structio e, e , an n n .

Who ls t h b road
e arth
e on l y t h same laim e c an a e e c

t your g ntl
o ss d court sy that th y ! If y
e en e an e e c an ou

ar e rud at ho m th is your polit ss abroad m r

e e, en en e a e e

c l oak to co c al a bad lfish h art n e , s e e .

Th par ts who hav a xiously watch d v r your

e en e n e o e

e ducatio hav th first right to t h f ruits of i t d al l

n, e e
‘

e ,
a n

t h g tl m
e hould b x rt d to r pay th m fo r th
en e an s e e e e e e e

car th y hav tak f you c your b irth All t h

e e e en O Si n e . e

rul s of polit ss f g rosity of good atur p

e en e ,
O en e , n e, a

ti d r sp ctful a ff ct o
e n c e, an houl d b x rt ed f
e e e i n S e e e or

your par ts You w to th m a pur filial lov void

en . O e e e, e,

o f p rso a l i t r st w hich s h o u ld pro m pt y ou to study

e n n e e ,

a ll t h ir tast s th ir lik s
e d av rs o s i ord
e , e to i e , an e i n , n er n

d lg t h
u e d avoid t h oth r ; you w to th m p
e o n e an e e o e e O

lit att t o d f r c to all th r W sh s

e en i n, d co m pli
e e en e ei i e , an

an c with th ir r qu sts E v ry j oy will b doubl d t

e e e e . e e e o

t h em if you ho w
,
fra k pl asur i its cours
S a d n e e n e , an no

comfort sooth t h gri f f par t much t h

c an e e e O a en SO as e

s y mpathizi g lov f a dutif ul n If th y e, o ld d s on . e ar e O , e

p d t upo you f support th you still b tt

,

en en n or , en ca n e er

prov to th m that t h t d r car th y lavish d po

e e e en e e e e u n

you wh you d p d d upo th ir lov for v ryth i g

,
en e en e n e e e e n ,

was t lost bu t was good s d sow upo fruitful

no ,
ee n n

g u
ro d N ay
n if with
. t h i fi m it i , f g c m e t h e n r es o a e o e
 C O U RTE S Y AT H OME . 2 81

cross s f bad t mp r or acti g s lfish ss your duty

e o e e , ex n e ne ,

still l i s as plai ly b f or you It is b ut t h pro mpti gs

e n e e . e n

o f at u ral a ff ctio that w ill l ad you to lov

n e d ch ris h
n e e an e

an i dulg t par t ; b u t it is a pur high virt u w hich

n en en e, e

mak s a e lov d ch rish with

s on qual aff ctio
e an e an e e n a

Se lfish glig t m oth r or a tyra ical harsh f ath r

,
n e en e , nn ,
e .

N f ailu r i th ir d uty
0 e nx u s y if you fail i
e c an e c e ou n

yo urs ; d v if th y wick d you

an
,
e en t to b e are e ,
ar e n o e

th ir j u dg b u t, whil you d t st d avoid th ir i

e e, e e e an e s n,

yo u m u st still l t h si r N othi g but t h gross s t

o ve
'

e nn e . n e e

an d m os t r volti g brutality could mak a m

e n r proach e an e

his par ts with t h f bl ss f g or ill ss or t h

en e ee ene O a e ne , e

i cap acity to rt th ir tal ts f support

n e xe e en or .

A mi t writ r i p aki g f a ma s duti s ’

n e n en e , n S e n o n e ,
“
says D all i your po w r to r d r yo u r par ts
: O n e en e en

co mf ortabl d happy ; if th y e an ag d d i firm b e ar e e an n , e

with th m as o f t as you
e carry th m tok s of
en c an , e en

your lov d how th m that you f l a t d r i t r s t

e , an S e ee en e n e e

i th ir happi ss
n e B all to yo u r par ts which y
ne . e en , ou

wo uld wish yo r childr to b to y ou u en e .

’

N t i t h ho m circl co m your broth rs d sis

ex , n e e e, e e an

t rse d h r you will fi d t h littl court si s which

,
a n e e n e e e e , ,

as a g tl m a should b habitual to you will sur

en e n, e , en e

t h lov a m
e e hould mos t highly priz th l ov of hi
an S e, e e s

broth r d sist r N xt to his filial lov this is t h

e an e . e e, e

first t i f his lif e O d sho u ld b valu d it d s rv

e , an e e as e e es .

If you th ld st f t h fa mily you m y by you

ar e e e e ,
o e ,
a ,
r

ex am pl i flu c your broth rs to good or vil d w i

e, n en e e e ,
an n

or ali at th aff ctio s f yo u r littl sist rs Th r i

en e e e n o e e . e e s

s carc ly a mor thusiastic aff ctio i th world th a

e e en e n n e n

th t a i t f l for
a s s er ld r b r t h r Ev though h
ee s an e e o e . en e
2 82 GEN LEMEN S BOOK
T
’
OE E TI QUE TTE .

m ay r pay th d votio
n ot e it d rv h will g e e n as es e es , S e en

o rally ch rish it d i v st him with t h most h roi

e , a n n e e e c

q ualiti s whil h t d r littl h art tho gh it m y

e , e er en e e e , u a

q uiv with th pa
er f a harsh word or rud actio wil l
e in O e n,

s till t y t fi d r xcus fo
“ b roth r
n wa t of afl
an e e or e
’
s
”
n
'

ec

t io n. If you how i t r st i th p rsuit s of th

S an n e e n e u e

l ittl circl at whos h ad your g

e e titl s you to sta de e a e en e n ,

you will oo fi d th y all look p to you s k yo u r d

s n n e u , ee a

v ic crav your ympathy d follow your x mpl

e, e s ,
an e a e.

Th l d s t e e holds a most r spo sibl positio S houl d

e s on e n e n.

d ath o i firmity d priv him of fath r cou s l h ’

e r n e e a e s n e , e

s houl d b pr par d to sta d forth th h ad f th

e e e n as e e O e

f amily d tak hi fath r s p l ac toward hi moth

’

, an e s e e s s er

an d t h you g r chil dr
e n e en .

E v ry m should f l that i th char ct r d d ig

e an ee , n e a e an

n ity of his sist rs his w ho or is i vo l v d e A i sul t o n n n e . n n

or a ff ro t O ff r d to t h m b com
n e e t him d h e , e es one o ,
a n e

i t h p rso th y will l k to for prot ctio d t

‘

s e e n e oo e n , an o

pr v t its r p titio B y hi w ma r to th m h
e en e e n. s o n nne e e

c an sur t th m t h r sp e ct or co t mpt of oth

en e o e e e n e er

m whom th y m t wh i his
en e ty How hee en n S O O1 e . c an e

e xp ct that his fri ds will tr at his sist rs with g tl

e en e e en e

ne ss r sp ct d ourt sy if th y
, e e ,
a n him co sta tly c e , e se e n n

r ud disr sp ctful d co t mptuo u towards th m !

e, e e ,
a n n e s e

B ut if his w ma r i that f aff ctio at r sp ct

, o n nn e s o e n e e e ,

h e n eed t f ar for th m rud s from oth r whil

no e e en e s e s, e

th y e u d r his prot ctio A Am r c writ

ar e n e e n. n e i an er

s ay s
“N othi g i family trik s th y f isitor with
n n a s e e e e O a v

m or d light tha to
e e b roth r tr a t th ir ist rs with
n s ee e s e e s e

ki d ss civility tt tio
n ne , d lo O t h co t ry
, a en n , an ve . n e n ra ,
2 34 G E N LE MEN S B OOK OF E QUE TE
T
’
TI T .

an d thi k how you would wish th m to tr at you if th

n e e e

c as w r r v rs d
e e e e e e .

A you g m o c s aid t
n an ld rly l ady who x
n e o an e e , e

p r sse d h e r gr t t
er his havi eg tak som
e trou
a b l d n en e e an

d i d hi m s lf a pl asur to gratify h
en e e e e er
“M adam I m far away from my m oth r a d sist e an er s
,

no w b t wh, uI w at ho m my gr at st pl asur was

en as e, e e e e

t prot ct th m
o e d gr ati f y all th ir Wish s ; l t m
e an w e e e e no

p lac you
e i th i st ad n d you wille r t h av caus
e ,
a n no e e

a ga to f l r gr t f you
in ee ethi k h m t l t
e , or c an n
‘
e us ove o

d y hims lf for
en w h r pr s
e ts his m oth r
one o e e en e .
’

Th l d la dy a f t r w ards spok
e O f him as a p rf c te e o e e
“
g tl ma
en e d was co tradict d by a you g r p rso
n , an n e n e e n

wh quot ed so m faul t i tiqu tt mmit t d by th

o e n e e e co e e

ou g m i co m pa y “ A h that m b said h
”
er
y n an n
y n .
,
a e,

en
“
fri d ; b ut what I call g ntl ma is t th m a e e n, no e an

wh p rfor m s to t h mi ut st po t all t h l ittl

o e e m n e in e e c er e o

i of soci ty b ut th
n es e whos h t prompts him t
, e on e e ea r o

b polit at ho m
e e e .

If you hav l f t t h first hom circl tha t co m prisi g

e e e e e, n

your par ts b roth rs d ist rs to tak up th duti

en , e ,
a n S e , e e es

o f husba d d f ath r you m ust carry t your w

a n an e , o ne

h om t h sam polit
e e ss I hav advis d you t x rt i
e en e e e o e e n

t h hom e f your childhood

e O

Your wif claims your court sy mor w v tha

e e e no , e en, n

wh you w r courti g h
en e e Sh h giv up f n er. e as en , or

your ak ll th fr dom d pl asur s of h maid n

s e, a e ee an e e er e

h ood d t you h looks for a lov th at will r plac

,
a n o s e e e e

t h m all
e C you disappo t that trusti g aff ctio
. an in n e n !

marr ag you thought str tch of court s

-

B f
“

y
e or e o ur i e
y no e e

t o gr t if the
o ea , ul t w t ff d h pl s u ; why r es as o a or er ea re ,
 C O U R E SY T AT H OME . 2 35

th e n, n o t striv to k p h lov by th sam g tl

e ee er e, e e en e

co urt sy yo u r t d to wi it
e e xe e n !

“A d li at att tio to t h mi ut wa ts
e c e en d wish s n e n e n an e

of yo u r wi f will t d mor e tha a ythi g ls to th

e, en , n n n e e, e

pro m otio f yo u r do m stic happi s It r quir s

n o e ne s. e e no

s ri fi s occu pi s b u t a s mall d gr of att tio y t

ac ce , e e ee en n, e

is t h f rtil so urc f bl ss ; i it co vi c s t h h
e e e e O i S nce n n e e O

jec t f yo
o u r r gard that wit h teh d u ti s f h u sba
,
d ,
e e o a n ,

you ha u it d t h m or pu tilious b haviour f a

’

ve n e e e nc e o

lov r Th s trivial tok s of r gard c rtai ly mak

e . e e en e e n e

m u ch w y i t h a ff tio s f a wom a f s s d dis

a n e ec n O n O en e an

cer n m t who looks

en , t to t h val u of t h gi f ts h no e e e s e re

i
c e ve s , b ut p r iv s i th ir f r q u cy a co ti u d
e ce e n e e en n n e e vr

d c en f th
e o ist c d ardor f that lov
e ex en which e an o e on

th e s up rstr u ct ur f h happi ss has b

e e r ct d
o er ne e en e e e .

Th stro g st attach m t will d cli

e n e if you r c iv i t en e ne
,
e e e

with di mi ish d w ar mth n e .

M rs Thral giv s t h f ollowi g advic which is wort h

. e e e n e,

t h co sid ratio
e n f v ry you g m
e n o e e n an

“Af t r m arriag e h says “ wh your iol c of

e, S e en v en e
,

passio s ubsid s d a m or cool d tra quil aff ctio

n e ,
a n e an n e n

tak s its plac b t hasty to c sur as i diff r t or

e e, e no en e n e en ,

t la m
o t yours lf as u happy ; you hav lost that o ly
en e n e n

which it is i m possibl to r tai ; d it w r grac l s e e n an e e e e s

a m idst t h pl asur s of a prosp rous

e e mm to r gr t
e e su er, e e

th e blosso m s f a tra si t spri g N ith r u w arily

o n en n . e e n

co d m yo ur brid s pidity t ill you hav r coll ct d

n e n e
’
1n S I ,
’

e e e e

that obj ct ho w v r s ubli m

no e ,
so u d ho w v e e e, n o n , e er

char mi g n co ti u t tra s p ort u s with d light

, c a n n n e o n e

wh th y lo g r strik us with ov lty Th skill

en e no n e e n e . e

to ren ovat th po w r f pl i g is aid i d d t b

e e e s o e as n s , n ee , o e
 G EN TLE MEN S BOOK ’
OE E TIQUE T E T .

poss ss d b y om wo m i
e e mis t d gr b t th
e en n an e n en e ee, u e

ar t ifi of m aturi ty
ces s ldo m s to ador th i o ar e e e en n e nn

c c of youth You hav mad your choic d ought

en e . e e e an

t approv it
o e .

“T b happy w must alway hav som thi g i

o e e s e e n n
,

v ei w Tur th r for your att tio t h mi d

. n, e e e, en n o er n ,

which will daily grow b right r b y polish g S tudy som e in . e

e asy sc c tog th r d ac q uir a si milarity of tast s

i en e e e , an e e ,

whil you joy a commu ity f pl asur s You will

e en n O e e .
,

b y this m a s hav m a y pursuits i co m mo

e n , d b
e n n n , an e

fr d from t h c sity f s parati g t fi d amus

ee e ne es o e n o n e

m t; d en t c m
en t t h pr s t u io
e a vo n o v rye en e e en n n on e e

S id ; l t your wif v r b k pt ig ora t of your i

e e e ne e e e n n n

com your xp s s your fri dships or yo u r av r

e, e en e , en , e

s io s ; l t h k ow your v ry faults b ut m k th m
n e er n e , a e e

a m iabl b y your virtu s ; co sid r all co c al m t as

e e n e n e en a

b r ach f fid lity ; l t h
e O v r hav a ythi g to fi d
e e er n e e e n n n

ou t i your charact r d r m mb r that fro m t h m

n e , an e e e e o

m t en of t h part rs tur s py upo th oth th y

on e e ne n S n e er, e

hav comm c d stat of hostility

e en e a e .

S k ‘
t for happi
ee sno gularity d dr ad ne s i n Si n ,
a n e a

re fi m t of wisdom as a d viatio i to f olly L ist

ne en e n n . en

no t to thos sag s who advis you always to cor t h

e e e s n e

c u s l of woma
o n e d if you comply w it h he r q u st
a n , an r e e s

pro ou c you to b wif ridd

n n e Thi k t y priv
e e -
en . n no an a

tio xc pt f positiv vil

n, e e O xc ll c ; d do t e e ,
an e e en e an no

co gratulat yours lf that yo u r wif is Ot a l ar d

n e e e n , e ne

lady or i wholly ig ora t h w to m ak a puddi g :

,
s n n o e n

Cooki g d l ar g n an both good i th ir plac s d

e ni n ar e n e e , an

may both b us d with adva tag With r g ard t x

e e n e. e o e

p I
en s e , ly O b rv t ha
c an on t t h mo y l aid t i t
se h e, e ne ou n e,
 G EN TLE MEN S B OO K ’
OF E TIQUE TTE .

n oisy o s P ublic amus m t i d d

ne . t x e en s , n ee ,
a r e no so e

p si as is som ti m s m ag d but th y t d to li at
en ve e e i ine e en a en e

t h mi ds f marr d p opl
e n f rom ach oth r
o A w ll
ie e e e e . e

chos soci ty f f ri ds d acqu ai ta c s m or m

en e O en an n n e , e e

i nen t for virtu d good s s tha for gai ty d

e an en e n e an

S pl dor wh r th co v rsatio of th day may aff ord

en , e e e n e n e

co mm t for t h v i g s m s t h most ratio al pl a

en e e en n , ee e n e

s ur that e b a ff ord d That your w sup riority

c an e e . o n e

s hould always b s b ut v r f lt s ms e xc ll t
een, ne e e ee an e e en

g ral r ul
en e e .

“If your w if i dispos d towards j alousy of you e s e e ,

l t m b s ch you b always xpli it with h

e e e ee v r mys e e c er , n e e

B abov d lighti g i h p ai i ll thi gs ”

t i er ou s . e e e n n er n n a n .

Af t r your d u ty to your wi f co m
e that towards t h e es e

c hildr whom G od l ds to you to fit th m to r tur

en en ,
e e n

pur d irtuous to him This i you task r spo si

e an v . s r , e n

b ili ty d trust to b u d rtak

,
a n pray rfully ar stly
, e n e en e , e ne ,

an d humbly as t h high st d most acr d duty thi s

, e e an s e

lif v r e e aff ord you

e c an .

Th r latio ship b tw
e e par t d child is
n thate e en en an , on e

a pp ars to hav b ordai d b y P rovid c to b ri g

e e een ne en e, n

t h b tt r f
e li gs of ma ki d d ma y dom stic virtu s
e e ee n n n an n e e

i t o act v x rcis Th implicit co fid c with whic h

n
/
,

i e e e e . e n en e

childr wh prop erly tr at d look up to th ir ld r

en , en e e ,
e e e s

for g uida c t l ss b auti f u l tha

n e i s no d ari g ; d e e n en e n an no

par e ts n t about t h
”

c anwork of guidi g aright i

se e n , n

re al a st witho t d rivi g as much good as th y i m

e rne ,
u e n e

par t The f li g with which this l abor f l wo u ld

. ee n O
'

o ve

b carri d forward is
e e t h po t writ s of m rcy twic ,
a s e e e e ,
e

b l ss d
e e

It b l s him that giv s d him that tak s

es es e an e .
 C OUR TE SY AT H OME . 2 39

A n d y e t , in daily lif d xp ri c how s ldo m do w e an e e en e, e e

fi d th s vi w s r aliz d ! Childr
n e e e i too m a y i
e e en , n n n

sta c s
n look d as a ythi g b u t a bl ssi g ; th y
e , are e on n n e n e

ar e tr at d as i c umbra c s or w ors ; d t h gl ct
e e n n e , e an e ne e

i which th y
n bro u gh t up r d rs it al m ost imp i
e ar e , en e os s

bl f e th m wh th y grow old r to k ow a ythi g

or e ,
en e e , n n n

prop rly f m oral or social d uti s This r s ult w k o w

e o e . e e n ,

in n um ro u s cas s is t w illful do s t aris f ro m ill

e e , no , e no e

i t tio s t h part f par ts b u t f ro m w a t f fi d

n en n on e o en ,
n o xe

pla s d pri cipl s Th r

n an nhu dr ds f f amili s i
e . e e ar e n e o e n

this cou try whos daily lif is othi g b tt r tha

n e e n n e e n a

daily scrambl wh r tim d plac f ro m g tti g up

e, e e e an e, e n

i t h mor i g to goi g to b d at ight

n e n n r gard d as
n e n , a r e e e

matt rs f cha c I such ho m s as th s wh r t h

e O n e . n e e e, e e e

i m at s
n ewilli g t do w ll b ut do t k ow how
ar e n o e ,
n
’
n ,
a

w ord i s aso n is O f t w lcom

e n
“ G r at pri cipl s en e e . e n e ,
”

w e told
are
“ at t h b ottom f all thi gs ; b u t t
ar e e o n o
,

apply th m to d ily li f ma y littl rul s pr cautio s

e a e, n e e , e n ,

d i sig hts dd ”
an n ar e n e e e .

Th work f trai i g is i som d gr

e O light d b y
n n ,
n e e e e, en e

t h f act that childr

e ,
v ry i mitativ ; what th y e n ar e e e e s ee

oth rs do th y will try to do th ms lv s d if th y

e ,
e e e e ,
a n e s ee

n o but good xam pl s good co du ct th ir part m y

ne e e , n on e a

n at urally b look d f eChildr k e bs rv rs or . en ar e e en O e e ,

an d v ry r ady at drawi g co clu sio s w h th y

ar e e e n n n en e

see a wa t of corr spo d c b tw prof ssio

n e d n en e e een e n an

practic i thos who hav th car of th m At t h

e, n e e e e e . e

a
g ef sOv t h echild s b
en , rai has r ach ed its f u ll ’
n e e

gro wth ; it s ldom b com s larg r a f t r that p riod d

e e e e e e ,
an

it th co tai s th g rm f all that th m v r

en n n e e o e an e e ao

complish s H r is e . additio al r aso f layi g

e e an n e n or n
2 40 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
OE E IQUE TE
T T .

dow th n e —
pr e c ept z b e yours e l ve s what you wish
th e

child to b Wh corr ctio is c ssary l t it b

ren e . en e n ne e , e e

a d m st r d i such way to mak th child r frai

i ni e e n a as e e e n

from d oi g wro g from d sir t do r ght t f th

n n a e e o i
,
n o or e

SO el r aso ethat wro g b r g pu shm t All p

n n in s ni en . ex e

i
r ence t ach s e that if good th g to b obtai d
e us a in is e ne ,

it must b b y p rs v ri g dil g c ;
e d of ll g oo d
e e e n i en e an a

t hi g n t h p l a ur arisi g fro m
s, e e w ll trai d family i
s e n a e -
ne s

on e f t h gr at s t
o P ar ts
e e ducators hav e . en , o r e ,
e no

ight t th ir childr j ust whim or pr ju dic m y

f

r o use
w
e en as e e a

dictat Chil dr e. small r li k i th gr at social

e n ar e e n s n e e

c hai d b i d tog th
n , an i lasti g ti s m y p t i
n e er n n e an l
or on s

w hich o t h rwis would b e co m pl t ly disjoi t d ; th i

e e e e n e e r

joyous ss liv ma y hom

ne en d th ir i
en s oc c n a e , an e nn en e

is a p w rful ch ck nd tidot t much that vil

o e e a an e o is e .

Th implicit O b di c which i r q uir d of th m will

e e en e s e e e ,

a lways b g v wh call d forth b y spiri t f forb ar

e i en en e a , o e

an c l f ifi
e, s e -
d lO
s a cr c e , an ve

“E lo o m s t h r ward
g re n c e e e ,

A d f th ar s d toils w h
n or d ur d e c e an e
’

ave e n e ,

R p ays us j oy se d p l as ur s ma f old an e e ni .
”

If you ch rish d ho or your w par ts th d

’

e an n o n en ,
en o

y ou giv you hildr

e n t h mos t
r forcibl
C t achi g f e e e e n or

t h i duty
e r mp l A d your duty t your childr
, e x a e. n o en

re qu r you xampl t b good i all th gs H w

i es r e e o e n in . o

c an you xp c t cou s l t virtu t hav y ff ct if

e e n e o e o e an e e ,

you co sta tly co tradict it b y b ad xampl ! D t

n n n a e e O no

f org t thate , arly impr ssio s e d p d l asting e n ar e ee an ,

an d from th ir i f cy l t th m e
y k p
n an upr ght e e see ou ee an i ,

n o bl walk i lif th m y y hop t

e n e, th m follo w en a ou e o s ee e

i yn f t t ps
o ur oo s e .
2 42 C E N TLE MEN S
’
B OOK OE E IQUE TE
T T .

humb l portio whos o rous duti s

e n, t Oft e ne e ar e oo en re

paid b y harsh s d ud ss ; I m a t h s rva t

ne s an r en e e n e e n s.

A tru e g tl m a whil h en v r allow fa miliarity fro m

e n, e e ne e s

his s rva ts will alway r m em b r that th y

e n , hum a s e e e ar e n

b i gs who f l ki d s
e n , ud s ee k ly th n ne s or r en e s as e en as e

mor favor ed o s p tair Ch st rfi ld say

e ne u s s . e e e s
“Th r i c rtai polit s l t your i f rior
e e s a e n en e s c ue o n e s,

an d who v r i without it i withou t good atur

e e s W , s n e . ,
e

do t d to complim t our rva ts

no n ee to talk f en se n ,
n o r O

t h ir doi g us t h ho o
e n & b t w o gh t to tr at th m
e n r, c , . u e u e e

with b ol c d mild ss W
en ev en all f t h am
e an ne . e ar e O e s e

S p ci s d
e e , and isti ctio what v r b tw
no x
n n e e is e e en us , e

c pt tha t which ris s from fortu

e F or xam pl you
a e ne . e e, r

footma n d co k would b you quals w r th y

an o e r e e e e .
as

r ich you B i g poor th y

as . o b lig d t o s rv you
e n e ar e e e e .

Th r f or you mus t
e e t dd to th ir misfortu
e, b y ih
no a e n es

su lt i g nill tr ti g th m If your ituatio is pr f r

or -
ea n e . s n e e

a b l to th irs b th kful without ith r d spisi g th m

e e , e an , e e e n e

or b i g vai of your b tt r fortu

e n n You must th r e e n e. , e e

for tr at all you i f rior with ff a b ility d good

e, e r n e s a an

ma rs d t p ak to th m i
nn e ,
a n surly to
no s e e n a n e , n or

with harsh xpr ssio s if th y w r f diff r t

e e n , as e e e O a e en

S p ci e A good h ar t
es . v r mi ds p opl f th i e ne e re n e e O e r

i f ri rity b ut
n e o d avor t ll viat th i mi fortu
, en e s o a e e e r s nes,

an d m k th m forg t th m
a e e e e .

E x mpl ,says Mrs P ark

a e
“”
i of t h g at t i m . es , s e re es

p rta c t our erva t particularly thos wh

o n e o S n s, e o ar e

y ou g who
n ha
, b it fr qu
se tly form d b y tsh fir t
ar e e en e e s

s rvic th y t r With th mild d good th y b

e e e en e . e an , e e

com oft d d impr v d b ut with t h dissipat d d

e s en e an o e , e e an

v i Ol t t
e n , ar e Of t di ord rly d vi iou It i
oo en s e an c s. s,
 C OUR TE SY AT H OME . 243

th r for
e e e, n ot amo g
l ast f th duti s i cumb t
n t he e o e e n en

on t h h ad
e e f t h f a mily to plac i th ir vi w s u h
o e , e n e e c

ex a mpl s as worthy th ir i mitatio B ut th s x

e ar e e n. e e e

a mpl s oth rwis prais worthy sho ul d ith r b

e , e e e ,
ne e e r en

d r d disagr abl
e e ee hav th ir forc dim i ish d by
e , n or e e e n e

an
y acco m pa i m t
n of ill humor
en R ath r by t h hap . e e

p i
n es s an d co m f ort r sulti g f ro m our
e c o duct
n toward n s

our do m stics should th y b mad s sibl f t h

e
!

, e e e en e O e

b auty of virtu What w e admir w Oft striv t

e e . e, e en e o

i mitat d thus th y may b l d

e , an e to i mitat good e e on e

pri cipl s d t form r gular d virtuous hab its

n e , an o e an .
2 44 G EN TLE MEN S B OO K ’
OE E TI QUE TTE .

C H A P TE R X I V
R U O UR T E C TE S Y .

P OLITENE SS t h art f pl asi g 1s It is to th de O e n . e e

portm t what th fi r touch s f t h p il

en e to th
ne e O e en c ar e e

pictur or what harmo y to music I t h f or m

e, n is .
!

n e

atio f charact r it i i di p bly r q u s t

n O e ,
“ W s n s en s a e i i e. e

ar e a ll “
say L ock a ki d f cham l o s tha t tak
”
s e, n O e e n e
, ,

a ti ctur from t h Obj cts which surrou d us Tr u

n e e e n . e

court sy i d d chi fly co sists i acco mm odati g

e ,
n ee , e n n n

se lv to t h f li gs f oth rs without d esc di g fro m

es e ee n O e , en n

o ur o w dig ity or d n udi g urs lv s of our w pri

n , en n o e e o n n

cipl es B y co sta t i t rcours with soci ty w acquir

. n n n e e e , e e

w hat is call d polit ss al m ost i tuitiv ly as th sh ll

e en e n e , e e s

of th r d r d s m ooth b y t h
e s e a ar e en m g frictio
e e
'

e un c e a s n

of t h wav s ; though th r app ars to b a

e e at ura l e e e e n

grac ab ou t th w ell b r d which ma y f l it difficult t

e e -
e ,
n ee o

at tai n.

R ligio its lf t ach s

e n t ho or all m
e d to d
e e us o n e n , an o

u to oth rs
n w would oth rs do u to us
e as e This i e n . n

l d
c u t h whol pri cipl
es e f court sy which i this w
e n e O e . n e

m y r m ark assim i lat s t o t h pri cipl of justic

a e ,
It e e n e e .

co m pr s s i d d all t h m oral virtu s i

i e , n ee ,
co sisti g e e n on e, n n

no t m r ly ie e xt r al ho w b ut havi g i t pr cipl i
n e e n S ,
n s in e n

th h e te arTh p l it. which up fi i l w it s

e o en e s s s er c a r er ar e
 C EN TLE MEN S
’
B OO K OE ETI QUE TTE .

e a y b t t i diff r t ; good humor d b t t f

s , u no n e en e , u no a

miliar ; passiv b ut t u co c r d It i clud s also

e, no n n e ne . n e , ,

a s en sib ility ic y t corr ct ; tact d licat y t tru

n e, e e a e e, e e.

Th r is
e e b autif ul u if ormity i t h d m a or of p
a e n n e e e n a o

l it m ;
e an d it i impossib l
an t to b struck with hi
s e no e s

a ff abl air e Th r is . gold m a i t h art which it

e e a en e n n e ,

s hould b y b ody
e e ve r
j
s Obj c t to t t ai without d’
sc d e a n, e en

i g to Obs q uious ss
n e th ha d or to fa miliarity
ne on e on e n ,

on t h oth e I polit er . ss as i v rythi g ls th r

n e ne , n e e n e e, e e

1s t h m diu m b twixt too much

e e d too littl b twix t
e an e, e

c o strai t d fr dom ; f civiliti s carri d to xtr m

n n an ee or e e e e e

ar e w ar some i d m r m y i
e , an t polit en ss b t
e e c er e on s no e ,
u

t h r v rs
e e e e.

Th truly piou p op l
e t h truly court o us
s e
“ R e ar e e e . e

l i gi on , s
“
ays L ighto is i this m istak som tim s
e n, n en e e ,

i that w thi k i t i m pri ts

n e n rough ss d aus t rity n a ne an e

u po t h mi d d carr ag It doth i d d bar ll

n e n an i e .
,
n ee ,
a

va ity d light ss d all complia c ; b ut it so f t

”
n an ne , a n n e ens

t h ma
e rs t m p rs t h addr ss d r fi s th h art
nn e ,
e e e e ,
a n e ne e e .

P rid f t h gr at s t O b stacl s to tru court sy

e i s on e o e e e e e e

t hat c an b m tio d e H who assum

en t ne much . e es oo on

his w m rit hows that h d

o n e , S t u d r sta d t h e
'

oes no n e n e

S imp l s t pri cipl s of polit s Th f li g f prid

e n e en e s . e
‘
ee n o e

i s, of its lf highly culpab l N m wh th h b

e , e. o an , e er e e

a mo arch t h thro or th m a s t b ggar hi

n on e ne, e e ne e in s

re alm poss ss, y righ t

e t co
es m por t hims
an l f with o e a

haughty d scourt ous i toward hi f ll w m

or i e a r s s e o en .

Th po t truly says
e e

“ hat m ost obl s huma atur

W enn e n n e,

Was r th p ortio f th p roud ne e

’
e n o e .

It is sy t b t w ki d word as um gr ci u s
ea o es o a n
,
o r s e a a o
 T R U E O U R TE S Y
C . 2 47

smil ; th will r co mm d us to v ry ; whil a

e es e e en e e on e e

haughty d m a or or aust r look m y f orf it f

e e n ,
an e e ,
a e or

e v r t h f avor f t h whos good Opi io w m y b

e e o , os e e n n e a e

an xious to s cur Th r ally court ous m has a

e e . e e e an

thoro ugh k o wl dg of huma atur n d e m ak l e n n e, an c an e a

l w
o for its w ak ss s H is always co sist t
an c e s e ne e . e n en

with hi m s l f Th polit alo

e k ow how to mak o t h rs
. e e ne n e e

p olit as t he, good alo k ow

e how to i spir oth rs with ne n n e e

a r lish f virtu
e or e.

H m g m tio d prid as b i g oppos d to tru p

av en ne e e n e e O

l it ss I m y class ff ctatio with it i that r sp ct

en e , a a e n , n e e .

Aff ctatio is a d viatio f rom at t h sam ti m that i t

e n e n , e e e

is i mitatio f atur It is t h r sult of bad tast

an n o , n e. e e e,

d f m istak otio s f o s w qualiti s Th ’

an o en n n o ne o n e . e

oth r vic s e limit d d hav ach p artic u lar h

e ar e e ,
a n e e a o

j ect ; but a ff ctatio p rvad s t h ewhol co duct d n e e e e n ,

a n

d tracts f rom t h m rit f what v r rtu s d good

'

e e e o e e Vi e an

dispositio s a m may poss ss B au ty its lf los s its

n an e . e e e

attractio wh disfigur d by aff ctatio E v to copy

n, en e e n. en

fro m t h b st patt r s is i mprop r b caus t h imitatio

e e e n e , e e e n

c an n e v r b so good as t h origi al Cou t rf it coi

e e e n . n e e n

is t so val u abl as t h r al d wh discov r d it

no e e e ,
a n en e e ,

c a o t pass curr t Aff c tatio is a sur ig tha t

nn en . e n e S n

t h r is som thi g to co c al rath r tha

e e e a ythi g to
n n e , e n n n

b pro u d f i t h charact r
e o , d disposit o
n f th pe e e an i n o e r

s o s practici g it
n n .

I r ligio
n aff ctatio or as it is fitly call d hypo
e n, e n, ,
e ,

cr si y is r pr h sibl i t h high st d gr
, e e enHow v e n e e e ee. e er

grav b th ir d portm t f all a ff ct d p rso s thos

e e e e en , o e e e n , e

who without y r al f ou datio m ak too gr at p

, an e n n, e e re s
-

t ensio s t pi ty n c rtai ly th most culpab l Th

o e ,
a r e e n e e. e
2 48 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
OE ETI oUE TTE .

mask rv t co c al i um rab l f aults d s h

se es o n e nn e e ,
an , a as

b e en w ll m rk d fals d votio t o f t usurps t h

e re a e , a e e n oo en e

plac f th t ru W
e O e l s s cur ours lv aga s t
e. e c an e s e e e es in

pr t d r i m tt
e en e s f r ligio
n
fl

t ha w
a er s gai s t
O e n, n e c an a n

an
y oth p c of
er S impostorse i es
; b caus t h m d b g e e e in ei n

b ia d i favo f t he ubj ct co ults dt r aso n t

se n r O s e , ns n e as o

t h i ndividual
e Th co duct f p op l which ca o t
e n O e e, nn
’

f ail t b co sid r d
o e vid c f th ir pr cipl
n e e an e en e o e in es ,

o ught t ll tim to b co f ormab l t t h r pr t s o

a a es e n e o ei e en i ns.

Wh G od alo is all w
en co c r d for w
ne t e ar e n e ne , e ar e n o

s oli cit u ab out m huma approbatio

o s or e n n

Hazlit t says — “F w subj cts mor d rly lli d

e e ar e e ea a e

t ha n —
th s t w vulgarity d fl t ti
e e o It may b an a ec a on . e

said of th m truly that thi partitio s do th ir b ou d

e
‘
n n e n s

divid Th r ca ot b
e.
’
sur r proof of l w or g
e e nn e a e a o i in

p r o f at
an m a s
i nn f dispositio
e tha
e nne sto b l o n, n e a

ways talki g d thi ki g f b i g g t l O m us t

n an n n O e n en e e . ne

f l stro g t d cy t that whi h

ee a n en is al ways tryi g
en o c on e n

t o avoid ; wh v r w p r t d ene all occas o s

e e e en ,
on i n ,
a

mighty co t mpt for a ythi g t is pr tty cl ar g

n e n n ,
i a e e Si n

that w f l ours lv s v ry arly

e ee e l v l wit h it
e e ne on a e e .

O f t h two class s f p opl I hardly k o w which is t

e e O e e, n o

b r gard d with most distast

e e e t h vulga ap g t h e, e r in e

g t l or t h g t l co sta tly s r g at d
en e e , e en e e n n nee i n an en

d e avo r i ng to dist gu sh t h m s lv fro

inm t h v lgar
i e e es e u .

Th s two s ts f p rso s
e e e always thi ki g of
o e n ar e n n one

an oth r ; t h lo w r of th high r with vy th mor

e e e e e en ,
e e

f ortu at n f th i l ss happy
e O ghb ors with co t mp t
e r e n ei n e .

Th y e ha b itually plac d oppositio to ach oth r ;

ar e e in n e e

j ostl e i th ir p t n et v ry tur ; d th
r e en S i on S am a e e n an e s e

O bj ct s d tr ain f thought (o ly
e an o d lpy t h r l n r e ve r s e e e a
2 50 G EN TLEMEN S B OO K OF E TIQUE TTE ’
.

u nm a ly triu mph ov it Rapha l would t f ai t

n er . e no n
~

a way at t h daubi g f ig pai t r e Hom r hold n O a S n n e , n or e

his h ad t h high r for b i g i t h compa y f t h

e e e e n n e n o e

poor s t scrib bl r tha t v r tt mpt d po try R al

e e e e a e e e . e

pow r r al xc ll c do
e , e t k for foil in i f ri
e e en e, es n o s ee a n e

or it y ,
f ar co tami atio from omi g i o ta t
n o r e n n n c n n c n c

with that which is coars d hom ly It r pos it e an e . e es on

se lf d ,
a n q ually fr fro m spl
is ed ff ctatio ee e en an a e n.

B ut th pirit of b oth th s small V c s

e S g ti li ty e e i e is in en as

t h word ta ds i vulgar m ds
e s f ff ct d d light i
n n in : o a e e e n

it s ow would b q ualificatio s
n d f i ff a bl
-
disdai
e n , an O ne e n

pour d out upo t h volu tary b lu d rs or ccid tal

e n e in n n e a en

d i hd
s t g f thos who m i t ch os
va n a es t t t i
O e o es o r ea as n

f e ri or s .

“The ss c f vulgarity I imagi

e en e sist i o n e , c on s n
,

t aki g ma n rs actio s words Opi io

nne t rust f r m
, n , , n ns on o

o th rs without xa mi i g o
e , w f li ng w ighi g
e n n
’
ne s o n ee s or e n

t h m rit of th cas
e e It is coars
s s h llow se e. ene s or s a ne s

o f tast arisi g from wa t of i dividua l

e n fi m t to n n re ne en ,

g th
e with
er t h co fid c d pr sumptio e spir d byn en e an e n in e

e xa mpl d umb r It may b d fi d to b pr s

e an n e s . e e ne e a o

t it t iu of t h mi d or b ody to p t h mor or l ss b
on e n a e e e e O

i
v o us d f cts of oth rs b caus by so d i g w hall
e e e , e e o n e s se

c ur th suff rag s f thos w associat with T aff t

e e e O e e e . O ec

a g stur
e op o phras b caus it i t h rag
e , an i ni n, a e, e e s e e

with larg u mb r f p rso s or t hol d it i a b hor

a e n e o e n , o n

r en c b caus oth r t of p rso s v ry l ittl if at all

e e e an e se e n e e, ,

b tt i form d cry t dow t disti guish th m l v

e er n e ,
i n o n e se es

fro m t h form r i e ith cas q ual vulgarity d

e , s in e er e e an

a bsurdity A th g .t vulga m r ly b caus it iin is no r e e e e s

c ommo Ti com mo to b r ath

n .
’
t t
s f l t n e e, o s e e, o ee , o
 TR UE C O U R E SYT . 2 51

l iv e . N othi gvulgar that is atural po ta ous

n is n ,
S n ne ,

u avoidabl Gross ss is t vulgarity ig ora is

n e. ne no ,
n nce

no t v ulgarity a w kward ss is t v ulgarity ; b u t all

,
ne no

th s b co m vulgar wh th y
e e e e aff ct d d sho w en e ar e e e ,
a n n

o ff t h authority of oth rs or to f all i

on e w it h th e ,
n e

f as hi or
on t h co m pa y w k p
e Caliba is coars n e ee . n e

en ough but sur ly h is t vulgar W might as w l l

, e e no . e e

S p ur t h clod u d r o ur f t d call it vulgar

n e n e e e , an .

“All sla g phras s n v ulgar ; b t th r is othi g

e ar e u e e n n

v ulgar i th com mo E glish idiom Simplicity is t

n e n n . no

vulgarity ; but th looki g to fl t t i of y ort fore n a ec a on an s

disti c tio is
n n .
”

T m up it may b said that if you wish to poss ss

o su , e , e

t h good Opi io
e f your f llow m
n t h w y to s cu
n o e en , e a e re

t is to b actually what you pr t d to b or rath r to i

i ,
e e en e, e

a pp ar always pr cis ly what you

e N v r d par t
e e ar e . e e e

f ro m t h ativ dig ity f your charact r w hi h yo u

e n e n o e , c c an

o ly mai tai irr proachabl by b i g car f ul t to i m

n n n e e e n e no

ita t th vic s or adopt t h f olli s f oth rs Th b s t

o e e , e e o e . e e

way i all cas s y will fi d to b to adh r to truth

n e ou n e, e e ,

an d to abid b y t h tal ts e d applia c s which hav

e en an n e e

b een b sto w d upo you by P rovid c

e e n en e.
2 52 G EN TLEMEN S B OO K ’
OE E TIQUE TE T .

C H AP TE R X V .

R WR N G LE T TE ITI .

T H ERE i b ra ch of a ma ducatio portio n ’

s no n n s e n, no

o f his i t rcours with oth r m

n e d q uality whic h
e e e n , an no

will sta d him i good st ad m or fr q u tly tha t h

n n e e e en n e

capab ility f writi g a good l tt r upo a y d v ry

O n e e n n an e e

s ubj ct I b usi ss i his i t rcours with soc ty i

e . n ne ,
n n e e ie ,
n
,

I m y say almost v ry circu msta c of his lif h will

a ,
e e n e e, e

fi d his
n call d i to r quisitio Y t althoughe e n. e , so
p en n

i m porta t so alm os t i disp sabl

n , acco m plishm t n en e an en ,

it is which is b ut littl cultivat d d l tt r p

on e e e ,
an a e e , er

f t i
ee v ry part is a gr at rar ty
n e e , e i .

I t h co m positio
n f a good l tt r t h r
e ma y n o e e e e ar e n

poi ts to b co sid r d d w tak first th simpl s t

n e n e e ,
a n e e e e

an d low st am ly t h p lli g
e ,
n e ,
e S e n .

M a y sp ll badly fro m ig or c b ut mor from car

n e n an e, e e

l ss ss Th latt r writi g rapidly mak v ry O f t

e ne . e e , n , e, e en ,

mistak s that would disgrac schoolb oy If you

e e a . are

i
n doubt about a word do t f rom f li g f f als ,
no a ee n O
‘

s ham l t t h p ll i g sta d i its doub tf ul positio

e e e S e n n n n

hopi g that i f wro g it will pas

n , otic d b ut g t n , s un n e , e a

d ictio ary d n what is th corr ct orthograph y

,
a n see e e .

B sid s t h actual misplaci g of l tt rs i a word th r

e e e n e e n e e

is a oth r faul t of car l ss rapid writi g fr q u tly

n e e e ,
n , e en
2 54 G EN TLE MEN S B OO K OF ’
ETI QUE TTE .

n er l ittl e
othi g If you hav
or n d c v yours lf
n . e, un e ei e e ,

an d b co vi c d that i
e v rythi g t h ma r i ful l
n n e , n e e n , e nne s
’

as i m porta t as th matt r If you p ak t h

n e e f e . S e e s en s o

an a g l i b ad word d with a disagr ab l utt ra c

n e n s , an ee e e n e,

n obody Will h ar you t wic wh h lp it If y

e e, o c an e . ou

writ pistl as w ll Cic ro b ut i v ry b ad ha d

e e es e as e , n a e n ,

an d ry ill sp ll d who v
ve c iv s will l augh t
-
e e , e er re e e , a

th m e .

Aft rth ography y h ul d mak it poi t t

er o , ou S o e a n o

Wri t good ha d ; cl ar l gib l

e a d at t h sa m tim
n e , e e , an e e e

e asy grac f ul d rapid Thi is t dif ficult

, e ,
a n . s no so as

so m p rs s magi b ut lik oth r acco mplishm t

e e on i n e, , e e en s ,

it r quir s practic to mak it p rf ct You mus t Writ

e e e e e e . e

e v ry word so cl arly that it

e t b m istak e b y th can n o e en e

r ad r d it i q uit
e e , an importa t r q uisit t l av
s e an n e e o e e

s uffici t spac b tw t h w rds t r d r ach

en e e e en e o o en e e on e

se par t d disti ct
a e If your writi g i crowd d it
an n . n s e ,

will b di fficul t t r ad v though ach l tt r is p

e o e , e en e e e er

f tly w ll form d
ec A E gli h uthor i
e e l tt . f n n s a , n a e er o

advi y c e, s a s z N

“I hav Oft tol d you that v ry m who h t h

e en e e an as e

us e of hi y s d his ha d s e writ What v r ha d h

e an n c an e e e n e

pl as e I do t d sir tha t you should writ t h tiff

es . no e e e e s ,

l ab or d charact r of writi g mas t r ; m

e e s f b usi a n e a an o

ne ss must writ q uick d w ll d that d p d imply e an e ,

a n e en s S

Upo n I would th r for advis you to g t om

us e. ,
e e e, e e s e

v ry good w riti g mast r d pply to it for mo th

e n e , an a a n

on ly which will b
,
fli i t ; f upo my word e su c en or , n ,

t h writi g of a g
e t l plai ha d of b us s is of
n en e e , n n i ne s

much mor import c tha you thi k Y e

y i
an t e n n . . ou sa ,

m y b t h t wh
a e,y w it v a y ill i t i s b
en u ou r e so er , ec a s e
 LE T ER WRI IN G
T T . 2 55

you hurry ; to which I a sw r Why

ar e in a you , n e , ar e

ev ri e hurry ! A m f s s m y b i hast b t
n a an O en e a e n e, u

c an v r b i a h urry b caus h k ows that What

ne e e n , e e e n ,

e v r h do s i a hurry h mu st c ssarily do v ry ill

e e e n
’
, e ne e e .

H m y b i hast to dispatch
e a e a f f air but h will tak
n e an ,
e e

car t to l t that hast hi d r his doi g it w ll L ittl

e no e e n e n e . e

mi ds i a hurry wh t h Obj ct prov s (as it com

n ar e n , en e e e

mo ly do s)too big f th m ; th y
u e th y puzzl or e e r un , e e , c on

fo u d d p rpl x th ms lv s ; th y wa t to do v ry
n ,
a n e e e e e e n e e

thi g at o c
n d v r d it at all B t a m
n e, an f ne e o . u an o

s s tak s th tim c ssary for doi g th thi g h i

en e e e e ne e n e n e s

abo ut w ll ; d his hast to dispatch a busi ss o ly

,
e an e ne ,
n

app ars by t h co ti uity of hi applica tio to it ; h

e e n n s n e

p ursu s it with a cool st adi ss d fi ish s it b for h

e e ne ,
an n e e e e

b gi s y oth r
e n an e .

Th f w s co ds that
e e sav d i th cours of th
e n ar e e n e e e

day by writi g ill i st ad f w ll do t am ou t to

n n e o e , no n
‘

an

obj ct f tim by y m a s q uival t to th disgrac

e O e an e n e en e e

or ridic ul of a badly writt scr wl

e en a .
”

B y maki g a good cl ar ha d habitual t you th

n , e n o , e

cau tio giv abov with r gard to hurry will b

n en e, e , e en a

t i ly us l ss for you will fi d that v

re e e , t h m ost rapid n e en e

p m
en n hip will t i
an st r f r with t h b auty ofno your n e e e e e

ha d writi g d th most absorb i g i t r st i th s ub

n -
n ,
an e n n e e n e

j tec f your ‘

pistl
O b d u lg d e; wh r as i f you
e c an e in e e e ,

writ w ll o ly wh you
e e givi g your tir att
n en ar e n en e en

tio to guidi g your p th hast i writi g or i

n n en , en , e n n n

t t i y our subj ct will spoil t h b auty f your h t

er e s n e e e o S ee .

B v ry car f u l that t h wordi g of yo u r l tt rs is i

e e e e n e e n

strict accorda c with t h rul s f gramm ar N othi g

n e e e o . n

s tamp th diff c b tw
s e w l l ducat d m
e r en e d e e en a e e e an an an
2 56 G EN TLEMEN S BOO K ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

ig ora tn mor d cid dly tha th pur ly grammatical

n on e e e e n e e

l a guag of t h
n co m par d with th labor d s t c s
e e on e e e e e n en e ,

misplac d v r b s ou s adj ctiv s d adv rb s of t h

e e ,
n n ,
e e , an e ,
e

o th r Ch st rfi ld caricatur s this fault i t h followi g

e . e e e e n e n

l tt r writt as war i g t his

e e , en t guard him
a n n o s on , o

agai st its glari g faults

n n
“MY L OR D I h d last ight t h ho or of your L ord
: a n e n
, ,

s hip l tt r of t h 2 4th ; a d will t b t d i g th

’
s e e e n se a ou o n e

o rd rs co tai d th i ; d if b tha t I
e n ne
g t
er e n an so e c an e

that aff air do b y th xt post I will t fail f t ne e ne ,

no or o

your L rdshi accou t of it b y

”

g 1ve
p o x t p t Ian n , ne os .

hav told t h F r ch M i ist r h w th t if t hat aff air

e e en n e , as o a

b t soo
e no co clud d your L ords hip would thi k it ll
n n e , n a

l g f him ;
on o d tha t h must hav an gl ct d f t e e ne e e or o

ha wrot to his cour t ab out it I must b g l av t

ve e . e e e o

p t your
u L ordship i mi d h w that I am w fu l l
n n ,
a s o ,
no

t hr q uart r i arr ar ; d if b that I do

”

ee e s n t y e an so e no ve r

oo r c iv at l ast half y ar I shall t

a

s n e e e e g b d on e e ,
ou a b er a

fig f
ur e t hi h plac is
or v ry d ar s I shall b
er e e e e . e

oas tlg b h ld to your L ordship for th t th mark f

e o en a er e o

your favor ; d I t or m i You & an so r es re a n, r, c .

”

This i I ad m it a b road b url s q u of

s, l tt r writt
, e e a e e en

b y m holdi g y mp t t gov r m t o ffic b ut i

a an n an 1 or a n e n en e, n

t h mor privat corr spo d c of m l if l tt r s ’

e e e e n en e a an s e e e

q uit eb surd asd u grammatical

a writt v ryan n ar e en e e

P u n ctu atio n 1s an oth e r

v ry importa t poi t i e n n n a

l e tt e r , b e caus e it n o t o nly is
a mark of l ga c d d e e n e an e u

catio t prop rly pu ctu at l tt r b t t h omiss i o

n o e n e a e e , u e n

of this poi t will i vitably co fus you corr spo d t;

,
n ne n e r e n en

for if y writ t your fri d

ou e o en
2 58 GEN LE MEN S B OO K
T
’
or E IQUET TTE .

of studyi g pu c t uat o t r ad ov r what you writ

n n i n is o e e e,

aloud d put int h poi t as you woul d dw ll a lo g

,
a n e n s e n er

or short r tim t h words w r you p aki g

e e on e , e e S e n .

W w com
e no to t h of capital l tt rs subj c t
e e us e e e ,
a e

ne xt mporta c to pu ctuatio
,
i n i d too oft
n e n n , an on e en

ne gl ct d v by writ r oth rwis car f l

e e , e en e s e e e u .

Th first word of v ery pi c of writi g wh th r i t

e e e e n , e e

b e b ook
a po m story l tt r b ill
, a ot
e ,
a
,
a. e e , a ,
a n e, o r

on ly li of dir ctio s must b gi with a capita l

a ne e n , e n

l tt r
e e .

Quotatio s v though th y n ,
t i m m diat ly
e en e ar e no e e

pr c d d b y p r od must i variably b gi with

e e e a e i ,
n e n a

c pital l tt r
a e e .

E v ry w e t c followi g p r od xcl amatio

ne s en en e, n a e i ,
e n

mark or i t rrogatio poi t must b gi with capital

, n e n n , e n a

l tt r
e e .

E v ry prop r am wh eth r it b f p rso a plac

e e n e, e e o a e n, e,

o bj ct must b gi with capital l tt r Th pro

”

o r an e , e n a e e . e

n ou I d xclam atio 0 must b l ways writt i

n an e n e a en n

capital l tt rs e e .

Capital s must v r xc pt i th cas of prop ne e , e e n e e er

n am s or th two l tt rs m tio d i th last paragraph

e e e e en ne n e ,

b writt th middl of s t c '

e en i n e e a en en e .

A capital l tt ; must v r b us d i th middl of

e er ne e e e n e e a

word a m o g t h s m all l tt rs ;
,
n must it b us d t
e e e n or e e a

th d of
e en word a .

N othi g adds mor t th b auty of l tt r or y

n e o e e a e e , an

writt compositio tha ha dso m ly writt capital

en n, n n e en

l tt rs us d i th ir prop r plac
e e , e n e e es .

Havi g p cifi d th most importa t poi ts i a

n S e e e n n n c or

r c t l tt r w x t com to that which mor tha y

e e e , e ne e , e n an
 LE ER WR ING
TT IT . 2 59

thi g ls shows t h mi d of th writ r ; tha t whi h

n e e, e n e e c

prov s his good or bad ducatio ; that whi h giv s him

e e n c e

ra k as n l ga t or i l ga t writ r S tyl
an e e — n ne e n e e .

It is styl Which ador s or d i fig e a subj ct ; which n s ur e s e

mak s t h h umbl st m att r app ar choic d l ga t

e e e e e e an e e n ,

or Whi h r du c s t h m o t alt d id as to a l v l with

c e e e s ex e e e e

co mm o or vulgar o n, n es .

“
L ord Ch st rfi ld says It is f th gr at st import
e e e o e e e
,

a to writ l tt rs w ll ; as this is a tal t which

n ce e e e e en un

avoidably occ urs v ry day f o s lif as w ll i b u si e e o ne

’
e, e n

ne ss as i pl asur ; d i accurac s orthography or

n e e an n ie in

i
n styl v r pardo d M uch d p ds upo th
e ar e ne e ne . e en n e

ma r i whi h th y
nne n w rit t ; W hich
c o u ght to b e ar e en e

e asy d atural t strai d d florid F or i sta c

an n ,
n o ne an . n n e,

wh you en about to s d a bi ll t d
ar e or lov l tt r en e -
ou r , e e e

t a f air f ri
o d you must o ly thi k f w hat yo u w uld
en ,
n n o o

sa y to h i f you w r both
er tog th r d th w rit it
e e ; e e , an en e

that r d rs t h styl asy d a tural ; though so m

en e e e e an n e

p opl i magi t h wordi g f a l tt r to b a gr at

e e ne e n o e e e e un

d t ki g
er a d thi k th y m u st writ ab u da tly b tt r
n ,
an n e e n n e e

tha th y talk which is t at all c ssary S tyl is

n e ,
no ne e . e

t h dr ss
e f tho u ghts
e d l t th m b
o v r so j u s t if ,
a n e e e e e ,

yo ur styl is ho m ly coars e d v ulgar th y will app ar

e , e , an ,
e e

to as much disadva tag d b as ill r c iv d as yo u r n e an e e e e

p rso though v r so w ll proportio d wo uld if

e n, e e e ne , ,

dr ss d i rags dirt d tatt rs It is t v ry u d r

e e n , ,
an e . no e e n e

sta di g that
n j u dg f m att r ; but v ry
n c an e o e e e one c an

an d do s j u dg m or or l ss
e f styl ; e, d w r I i th r e e , o e an e e e e

to p ak or writ to th p ublic I hould pr f r m od rat

S e e e , S e e e e

matt r ador d with all th b auti s d l ga ci s of

e , ne e e e an e e n e
2 60 G EN TLE MEN S BOOK ’
or E TIQUE TE T .

styl to th stro g st matt r i t h world ill word d d

e, e n e e n e , e an

ill d liv r d e e e .
”

Writ l gibly corr ctly d witho u t rasur s p o

e e ,
e ,
a n e e u n a

whol sh t f p p r v r upo half a sh t Choos

e ee o a e , ne e n ee . e

pap r which thick whit

e d p r f ctly plai is Th ,
e, an e e n . e

i itials stamp d at th top of sh t

n t h o ly or
e e a ee ar e e n na

m t allo w d a g tl ma
en e en e n.

It is u pardo abl f a ult to writ upo a sh t which

an n n e e n
‘

ee

has a ythi g writ t or draw u po it or s il d ; d

n n en n n ,
18 o e an

quit as b ad to a s w r a ot upo half t h h t it i

e n e n e n e S ee s

writt upo or writ

en t h oth r id of
n, sh t which e on e e S e a ee

h b as us d b f or
e en e e e .

Writ your w id as i your w words th r b or

e o n e n o n , n e i e

rowi g opyi g f rom a oth r If you

n or C d t ct d n n e . ar e e e e

i
n a plag ar s m you will v r r cov r your r putatio
i i
,
ne e e e e n

for or gi ality d you may fi d yours lf i th positio

i n ,
a n n e n e n

of t h h ro f th f ollowi g a cdot
e e o e n ne e

Mr C a m . f but littl cultivatio

.
,
f ll i lo an o e n, e n ve

with M iss N whos fi i t ll ct was d uly i mprov d b y

.
, e ne n e e e

a thoro ugh co urs of study d r adi g Whil h wit e an e n , e er ,

vivacity d b a u ty mad M r 0
,
a n o ly a m o gs t e e . . one n n

ma y s u itors F asci at d by h b auty d gra iou

n . n e er e an c s

ma r h d t r mi d to s ttl his f at
nne e d ask h
e e to ne e e e, an er

go f orward i th alphab t d choos t h xt l tt r to

n e e an e e ne e e

put to h s ur am Bu t h w F iv ti m s h tri d to
er n e . o ! e e e e

S p ak d fi tim s t h gay b auty so l d t h disco u rs

e ,
a n ve e e e e e e

that h l f t at th d f ach i t rvi w wis r tha

e e e en o e n e e ,
n o e n

wh h cam A t l gth h r solv d to Writ It was

en e e . en e e e e.

t h first ti m h had h ld t h p
e for y b ut a busi ss
e e e e en an ne

e e
“
l tt r Af t r co mm ci g t wic with D ar sir o ce en n e e
”
n e
.
,

with
“ I writ to i form you that I am w ll d hop e n e an e
,
2 62 GE N LEMEN S
T
’
s oon or E T QUE E
I TT .

o a ds s u p eriors wo m
t w r d old r p rso s
, d it wil l en , a n e e n , an

b w ll
e e .

A bbr viatio s o ly p r mitt d i busi ss l tt rs

e n ar e n e e n ne e e ,

an d i fri dly corr spo d

n en mu st v r b us d e n enc e ne e e e .

F igur s v r to b us d xc pti g wh putti g

e ar e n e e e e e e n en n

a dat or a s um of mo y I a b u si ss l tt r t h
e ne . n ne e e e

mo y is g rally p cifi d b oth i figur s d words

ne en e s e e n e an ,

t hus ; $ 5 00 F iv hu dr d dollars e n e .

YO may put th a m dat

u d addr ss of a l tt r
e n e, e , an e e e

e ith r at t h top of t h p g or at t h d I giv

e e e a e e en . e a

S p cim of ach styl to ho w my m a i g

e en e e S e n n .

P H IL AD EL P H IA, J une 2 5 th, 1 8 55 .

JAME S S M H
MR . IT ,

D ar S i e r,

Th goods ord e r d i your l tt r of t h 1 9 th

e e n e e e

in s t w r s t this mor
. e e en ni n g by Adam E xpr ss W ’
s e . e

Shall b always happy e to h ar fro m you e d will ,

an

p romptly fill y f rth r an u e ord rs e .

Yo urs truly
, ,

JONE S B RO WN 8 0 0 , ,
5 .

De ar S ir ,
Your favor of th 5 th i st r c iv d t day e n . e e e o .

Will x cut your comm ss o s with pl asur

e e e i i n e e .

Yours truly , ,

J Jo s . ne .

MR JAME S S M H . IT .

P H IL A J 2 5th 1 8 54 .
, un e ,
.
 LE ER WR ING
TT IT . 263

you s d your
If en o wn addr ss put it u d r your
e n e o wn

S ig at ur thus
n e,

J JO N E S
.
,

17 W st ,.

YORK N EW .

Th tiq u tt f l tt r writi g ho uld as m u ch as

e e e e o e e -
n , S ,

possibl b i flu d by pri ipl s f truth Th

e, e n en c e nc e o . e

S u p rscri ptio
e d th s ubs riptio sho uld alik b
n an ,
e c n e e

i a corda c with t h to
n c n f t h co mm u icatio
e d e ne o e n n , an

t h do m stic or social r latio

e e f thos b t w who m i t e n o e e e en

pass s Co mmu i atio s upo pro f ssio al or b u si ss

e . n c n n e n ne

m att rs wh r e acquai ta c xists to m odif y t h cir

,
e e no n n e e e

cu m t sho uld b writt thu s

s an c e s ,
“ M r G illot will e en .

f l oblig d by M r S lack s s di g by t h b ar r
”
&
’
ee e . en n e e e , c.

It is abs urdity f a m who writ s a hall g or

an or an e c en e,

an o ff siv l tt r to a oth r to subscrib him s l f

en e e e , n e , e e ,
“Yo u r ob di t S rva t eI dislik this f orm f sub
en e n .
”
e o

s criptio also wh mploy d by p rso s f q u al ra k

n, , en e e e n o e n .

It is p r f ctly b co m i g wh addr ss d by a s rva t to

e e e n en e e e n

an mploy r e Bu t i oth r cas s

e
“ Yours truly n e e
”
,
.
,
“Yours v ry tr uly “Your F ri d
e
“Your si c r ”
en
”
n e e
, ,

F ri d en
“ “
Your W ll wish r Yo u r grat f l F ri d
”
e -
e ,
”
e u en
”
, ,

Yo ur aff ctio at F ri d & & app ars to b

e n e en ,
”
c ,
. c , . e e

mu h m or truth f ul d to b mor i k pi g with th

c e ,
a n e e n ee n e

l giti mat xpr ssio f good f li g It is imp ossibl

e e e e n o ee n . e

to lay do w a t f r ul s that shall gov r all cas s

n se o e e n e .

Bu t as a pri cipl i t m y b urg d that n p rso

e, a e e ,
no e n

s
“
ho uld addr ss a oth as D ar S i or D ar e n
“ er e r,
”
e
, ,

M adam witho u t f li gs d r latio s that j stif y t h

,
”
ee n an e n u e

use o f t h adj ctiv Th s co m plim ts

e e mock ri s
e . e e en ar e e e .
2 64 GEN LEME N S BOOK
T
’
OE E IQUE TE
T T .

No who t rtai s a d sir to writ a oth r

on e en e n e e e n e as
“d ar e d f l af raid f givi g o ff c b y fa miliarity ;
”
n ee ee o n en e
,

for all ma k i d priz t h st m v f th ir hum bl st

n n e e e ee e en o e e

f llows too m uch to b a oy d by it A d i propor

e e
“

nn e . n n

t io as th i t grity f t h f or m s of corr spo d c i

n e n e o e e n en e n

cr as so will th s xpr ssio s f good f li g b mor

e e, e e e e n o ee n e e

appr c at d e i e .

Th xt poi t to b co sid r d is th bj t f your

e ne n e n e e e su ec o

l tt r
e d without a good s u bj ct t h
e , an pistl w ill b pt e e e e e a

t b dull
o eI do t m ea by this that it is c ssary
. no n ne e

t ohav y xtraordi
e ary van t to r late or startli g n e en e e, n

n ws to com m u nicat ; but i ord r to writ a g l l tt r

e e n e e oo o e e ,

it is c ssary to hav a g d subj ct that you m y t

ne e e oo e ,
a no

r val t h F r chma wh wrot to his w i f

i e en — “ I w rit t n o e e e o

you b caus I hav othi g to do I stop b caus I hav

e e e n n : e e e

n othi g to say L tt rs w ritt without im or obj ct

n .
”
e e en a e ,

S imply f th sak of w riti g or p t e to b st u pid trie n , ar e a e ,

vial f oolish , o r .

You m y writ to a fri d to co gratulat him po

a e en n e u n

s om happy v t to hi m s lf or to co dol with hi m i

e e en e ,
n e n

s om m is f ortu or to ask his co gratulatio s or

e n e, n n c on

dol c f yours l f You m y w rit to quir f hi

en e or e . a e en e or s

h alth or t
e xt d,
i vitatio a l tt r f tha ks
o e en an n n, e e o n

f licitatio s po b u si ss or a thousa d oth r subj cts

e n ,u n ne ,
n e e ,

w hich it is us l ss f m to um rat e e or e en e e.

L E ER S BU S N E S Th chi f obj ct i a l tt
TT OF I S . e e e n e er

o f busi ss is to co m m u i at or
ne q uir about so m n c e en e e

one f act d th pistl hould b o fi d tir ly to

,
an e e e S e c n ne en e

t hat f a t All co m pli m ts j sts high fl w la g u ag

c . en , e ,
-
o n n e

an d s tim t en tir ly out f plac i a b u si s

e n , ar e en e o e n ne s

l tt r d br vity hould b
e e , an of t h most i mporta t
e ,
S e on e e n
 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
or ETIQIJE TTE .

un n e e sc s arily t tim s tha to hav t h p rso mis

, en e , n e e e n

tak o c en n e.

Wh you k ow i si gly r lativ t p rso s

o, n d
,
s n e e o e n ,
a n

ca ot b appli d to th gs ; w hi h d th t
nn e e chi fly in c an a ar e e

re lativ t thi gs b ut t ab solut ly xclus v f p

e o n ,
no e e i e o er

s o s ; for
n may say t h m th t robb d or kill d
on e e an , a e e

s uch -

; b
a on e
-
u t i t is b tt r to y t h m w h ro b b d e e sa ,
e an o e

or k ill d O e v r says th m or wo m a w hi h
. ne ne e , e an n c .

W h i h c d t h t though
an chi fly r latia , to thi gs ca o t e e ve n ,
nn

b e a l w ays us d i difl t ly as to thi gs

e nF or i sta c er en n . n n e,

t h l tt r w hi h I r c iv d fro m you w hi h you r f rr d

e e e c e e e , c e e e

t o your l ast w hi h cam by L ord Alb m arl s m

in , c e e e
’
es

s en g r w hi h I how d to s u ch
e , c ; ISW ould cha g iet -
a on e
-
n e

t hus — Th l tt r that I r c iv d from you w hi h you

e e e e e e ,
c

re ef rr d to i yo u r last th t cam b y L ord Alb marl

e n ,
a e e e s
’

m ss g r d w hi h I how d to such
e en e , an c S e -
a on e .
-

“Bu si ss do s t
ne xcl u d (as possibly you wish it
e no e e

d i d)th usual t rms of po l it

e ss d good b r di g ;
e en e an ee n

b ut ,
t h co trary strictly r qu r s th m ; such as I
o n e n ,
e i e e ,

ha ve the hon or to a c u a in t
q g ou P er mi t m e to assur e
y ou

or , If 1 m ag be a llow e d t o g ive mg op i n i on , g o.

“L
E ER S O B U S N E SS will t o ly ad mit f but b
TT E I no n o , e

t h b tt r f
e e t i g e — b ut th th y m ust b scat
o r c er a n r a ces en , e e

t d with a skillf l
er e d pari g ha d ; th y m ust fit u an S n n e

t h ir pl c
e xactly Th y m u st ador without
a e e m . e n en cu

b r g
e in d m od stly shi
, a n without glari g Bu t as this e ne n .

IS t h ut m ost d gr
e f p rf cti i l tt rs of b u si ss
e ee o e e on n e e ne ,

I wo uld t advis you to att mpt thos mb llish m ts

no e e e e e en ,

t ill you hav just laid your fo u datio w ll

e n n e .

Car fully avoid all Gr k or L ati quotat io s ; d

e ee n n an

b i g
r n pr c d t fro m th i t
no Sp rt
e e th p en s e v r u ou s a an s , e o
 LE ER WR N G
TT I TI . 2 67

li te A then i a n s , an d t he br a ve R oma n s . L av all that

e e

to f u til p da ts N flo urish s d clam atio s Bu t

e e n . O e ,no e n .

I
( p r at
e i t agai
e
)th r is l ga t i m p i
n li ty d dig
e e an e e n S c an

n it y f styl abs ol u t ly n
o ssary for g d l tt rs f b
e e ece oo e e o u

i
s n es s ; att d to that ar f u lly
en L t your p riods b c e . e e e

har m o ious witho ut s m g to b labor d ; d l t

n ,
ee in e e an e

th m t b too lo g f that alw ays occasio s a d gr

e no e n ,
or n e ee

o f obs u ri t y c I ho uld t m tio orr ct orthography

. S no en n c e ,

bu t that to f ail i that parti ular W ll bri g ridi u l po

n c i n c e u n

yo u ; f m or is allo w d to p ll ill Th ha d
no an e S e . e n

writi g too ho uld b good ; d I ca ot co c iv why

n , ,
S e an nn n e e

it is v r oth rwis si c v ry m m y c rtai ly writ

e e e e, n e e e an a
,
e n , e

What v r ha d h e e pl as s N t n i foldi g u p
e e e . e a n ess n n
,

s ali g d dir cti g yo u r pack ts is by m a s to

e n ,
a n e n e ,
no e n ,

b e neg l ct d Th r is so m thi g i th xt rior v

e e . e e e n n e e e ,
e en

o f a pack t or l tt r that m ay pl as or displ as

e e e , d e e e e an ,

co s q u tly worth so m tt tio

n e en ,
e a en n.
”

If yo u writi g a l tt r ith r u po yo ur w b
ar e n e e , e e n o n u

i
s n ess or upo that f t h p rso you n addr ssi g
o e e n ar e e n ,

no t i a sw r to him bu t op
n n ei g t h subj ct b tw , en n e e e e en

you f ollow t h r ul f cl ar ss d f b usi ss b r vity

, e e o e ne an o ne e .

Co m to t h poi t at o c i ord r that th p rso d

e e n n e, n e e e n a

dr ss d m y asily co m pr h d you P ut obody to

e e a e e en . n

t h labor i g what you d sir d b car f u l

'

e f g o u es s n e e , an e e

that half i stru tio s do t l ad your corr spo d t

-
n c n no e e n en

astray If you hav so cl ar id a f your op ratio

. e e an e o e n

i yo ur m i d or if it is so mpl a
n n , that it ds Si e on e n ee no

words c pt sp i fic dir ctio s or a plai r q u st you

, e x e ec e n , n e e ,

nee d t w ast tim b t with th prop r f or ms f

no e e, u , e e o

court sy i struct hi m f your wish s I what v r you

e ,
n o e . n e e

Writ r m mb r th t tim is valua b l ;

e, e e e d that m b ar
a e e an e
2 68 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

rassi g or in d fi it l tt r angr ateuisa cn t be e e s ar e e n n e o a u

i
s n es s m I d hardly r mark that pu ctuali ty i
an . n ee e ,
n n

a sw ri g corr spo d ts is
n e n f t h cardi al busi s
e n en on e o e n ne s

v irt u s Wh r t is possibl a sw r l tt rs by r tur

e . e e i e, n e e e e n

of post you will thus sav your w tim

,
a s d pay e o n e , an

your corr spo d t a flatt ri g co m plim t A d i

e n en e n en . n n

op i g a corr spo d c
en n writi g upo your w
e n en e or n n o n

b usi ss l t your comm u icatio b m ad at t h arli st

ne , e n n e e e e e

pro p r dat i ord r that yo u r corr spo d t as w ll

e e n e e n en , e as

yo u rs lf m y hav t h b fit of tho ught d d lib r

e ,
a e e en e an e e

a tio n.

L E ER S O I N Q U IR Y should b writt
TT F a happy e en in

m diu m b tw t diou l gth d the br vity whi h

e ,
e e en e s en an e c

would b tok i difl e A t h subj ct is g

en n rally er en c e . s e e en e

li mit d to qu sti o upo

e subj ct th y will t d
e ns n on e e ,
e no a

mit of much v rbiag d if your i quiry r lat s i m ply

e e , an n e e S

t a m att r of bu si
o ss it is b tt r to co fi your word
e ne , e e n ne s

s tri tly to that busi ss ; if how v r you i writi g t

c ne ,
e e , ar a n o

m ak i q u ry
e n to th h alth of a f ri d
i as
y oth e e en , o r a n er

matt r i which f li g aff ctio dictat s th pistl

e n ee n or e n e e e e,

t h cold f orma l styl of

e , b usi ss l tt would b co m e a ne e er e e

h artl ss d i m a y cas s positiv ly i s lti g You

e e ,
a n , n n e , e n u n .

must h r add som words of co m pli m t xpr ss yo u

e e e en , e e r

fri dly i t r st i t h subj ct d your hop that a f

en n e e n e e ,
an e a

vo r a b l a sw e m y b r tur d
n d if t h occasio n i
er a e e ne ,
a n e s

a pai f ul n a f w li s of r gr t or co dol c may

on e , e ne e e n en e

b add d
e e .

If you r qu sti g f avor of your corr spo d t

ar e e e n a e n en ,

you hould apologiz f th troubl you

S givi g him e or e e ar e n ,

an d m tio t h en c ssity which pro mpts you to writ

n e ne e e .

If you maki g i q uiri s of a fri d you l tt

ar e n n e en , r e er
27 0 GEN LEMEN S BOO K
T
’
E TIQUE TTE .

th m c ssary B car ful t to b rvil i uch

e ne e . e e no e se e n s

l tt rs Tak a r sp ct f ul b ut at th sam tim m a ly

e e . e e e , , e e e, n

to ; d whil you a k owl edg th obligatio a f

ne an ,
e c n e e n a

vo r ab l a sw er will co f r do
e n t adop t t h cri gi g n e
, no e n n

la guag of a b ggar
n e e .

L E ER S O N ERR N G FAVOR S hould v r b writ

TT O F I S ne e e

t eni a styl to mak t h r cipi t f l a w ight f

n e b e e e en ee e o o

l iga tio ; th co trary t h styl should b such

n on e n ,
e e e as

will d avor to co vi c your corr spo d t that i

en e n n e e n en n

his acc pta c of y f h co f rs o b ligatio

'

e n e ou r a vo r e n e an n

u po y n ou .

L E ER S RE U S N G F AV OR S call for your m ost court

TT F I

e o s la g u ag f th y m t gi so m pai
n n e, or d thi e us
’

ve e n , an s

m y b v ry m uch soft
a e d by th ma r i which you
e en e e nn e n

writ E xpr ss your r gr t at b i g u abl to gra t y ou

e . e e e e n n e n r

f ri d s r qu st a hop that at so m f utur tim it may b

’
en e e ,
e e e e e

i your po w r to a sw r a oth r such l tt r mor e favor

n e n e n e e e

ab ly d giv a good r aso for your r fusal

,
a n e e n e .

L E ER S A K N O WLE D G NG F AV OR S or l tt rs of tha ks
TT C I ,
e e n ,

S hould b writt i a cordial fra k d grat ful styl

e en n ,
n ,
an e e.

Whil you ar stly tha k your corr spo d t f hi

e e ne n e n en or s

ki d ss you m u st v r hi t at y paym t f t h
n ne , ne e n an en o e

obligatio If you hav t h m a s f obligi g him ar

n. e e e n o n ne

yo u at that i sta t m ak yo ur O ff r f t h f avor t h

n n , e e o e e

subj ct of a oth r l tt r l st h attrib ut yo u r hast to

e n e e e , e e e e

a d sir to rid yours lf f

e e o b ligatio T hi t at e o an n. o n a

fu tur paym t is still mor i d licat Wh you

e en e n e e. en c an

ho w yo ur gratitud by a suitabl r tur th l t yo u r

S e e e n, en e

actio s t your words sp ak f th a cura y of yo u r

n ,
n o , e or e c c

m m ory r tai i g t h r coll ctio f f avors co f rr d

e in e n n e e e n o n e e .

ANO N Y MOU S LE TER S Th m who would writ “

T . e an e
 LE ER WR N G 27 1 TT IT I .

an a o y m o u s l tt r i th to i s ult t h p
n n e d e ,
e er n e er s o n a

dr ss d or a oy a third p rso is a sco u dr l w ho m

e e nn
“ e n, n e ,
,
’
t w r gross flatt ry to am a oward N o b u t a
e e e n e c .
”
ne

m f th lo west pri i pl s
an o e d m a st char t r nc e , an e ne ac e ,

wo uld co mmit act to gratif y m alic or hatr d w itho u t

an e e

da g r to him s lf A g tl ma w ill tr at s u ch
n e e m. en e n e a co

m i ti
un ca with th co t mptuous il c which it d
on e n e S en e e

s rv s
e e

L E ER S IN ELL GE N E Th first thi g to b

TT OE T I C . e n e re

gard d i a l tt r f i t llig c
e n t th
e Th ye o n e en e is ru . e ar e

writt v ry vari ty f s ubj cts u d r circum sta c s

en o n e e e o e ,
n e n e

of t h sadd s t e d t h m ost joy f u l at u r

e Th y
an e n e . e ar e

writt o f t u d r th pr ss ur f t h m ost cr u shi g

en en n e e e e o e n

gri f at oth r tim s wh t h ha d tr mbl s with

e , e e en e n e e ec

stacy d v ry f r q u tly wh a w ight f oth r car s

,
an e e en en e o e e

an d gag m ts m ak s th ti m f t h writ r i val u abl

en e en e e e o e e n e.

Y t w h th r t h subj ct co mm u icat d co c r s yo u r
e , e e e e n e n e n

s lf a oth r r m mb r that v ry writt word is

e or n e , e e e e e en a

r cord f yo ur v racity or f als hood If xagg ratio

e or e e . e e n,

or still wors malic guid yo u r p i i mparti g

,
e, e, e en , n n

pai f ul s ubj cts or if th d sir to avoid cau si g gri f

n e ,
e e e n e

mak s you violat tr uth to so f t tryi g w s you

e e en n ne , ar e

sig i g your a m to a writt f als hood d th l tt

n n n e en e ,
a n e e er

m y at so m f u t u r ti m ris to co f ro t yo u
a ,
e d p rov e e, e n n an e

that your i t llig c ca ot b trust d What v r t h

n e en e nn e e . e e e

charact r f th w you co mmu icat l t ta st

e o e d
ne s n e, e e an

dis r tio g uid you i t h m a r f i mp arti g it If

c e n e n e nne o n .

it f so sorrow f ul a charact r that you k ow it m u st

is o e n

cau s pai you m y d avor to op t h s ubj t

e n, a en e en e ec

gradu ally d a f w li s f sympathy d co mf ort if

,
an e ne o an
,

u h d d at th tim may b appr ciat d wh t h

n ee e e e, e e e en e
 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK OF E QUE E ’
TI TT .

mour r r ads your l tt r i calm r mo m ts Joyf ul

ne re -
e e e n e en .

ne ws though it do s t d th am cautio also d

,
e no n ee e S e n, a

mits of pr ss o s of sympathy
ex e i n .

N v r wri t t h gossip arou d you u l ss you

e e e e n ,
n e ar e

o blig d to co mm u cat som

e v t d th writ o ly ni e e e e n , an en e n

w hat you k o w to b tru or if you p ak f do ubtf ul

n e e, ,
S e o

matt rs stat th m to b such Avoid m r sca dal

e , e e e . e e n

an d h arsay e d a b ov all avoid l tti g your

,
an , w e , e n o n

malic or bitt r ss of f li g color all your stat m t

e e ne ee n e en s

in th ir b lack st dy B u d r such rcumsta c s

e e e . e, n e Ci n e ,

truth f ul just d charitab l

, ,
a n e.

L E ER S RE OMMEN D A ION hould b writt o ly

TT OE C T S e en n

wh th y positiv ly c ssary d gr at cautio

”

en e ar e e ne e ,
a n e n

s ho uld b us d i givi g t h m Th y mak you i

e e n n e . e e ,
n a

m asur r spo sibl for t h co duct of a oth r d if

e e, e n e e n n e , an

you giv th m fr q u tly

e e ligh t grou d you will
e en , o n S n s,

c rtai ly hav caus to r p t your car l ss ss Th y

e n e e e en e e ne . e

ar e l tt rs of b us ss d sho uld b car fully co mpos d ;

e e i ne ,
a n e e e

truthf ul whil th y ,
court ous d just Whil th y
e e ar e e ,
a n , e e
4

ar e ki d If y sacrific ca dor to a m istak ki d

n . ou e n en n

ne ss you t o ly mak yours lf a party to y m ischi f

,
no n e e an e

that may r sult but you e committi g a disho s t act

,
ar e n ne

towards th p rso to who m th l tt r will b d liv r d

e e n e e e e e e e .

L E ER S O IN R DUC N should b short

TT E T th y C TI C e ,
as e

ar e g rally d liv r d p rso

en e d ought
e t to
e e in e n , an no 00

cu py much ti m i r adi g as elik s to hav

n t e n , n o on e e e o

wait whil a lo g l tt r f i troductio

e n r ad Whil
e e o n n is e . e

you sp ak of t h b ar r i t h warm la guag f fri d

e e e e n e n e o en

ship do t wr t pra s s
,
no such a l tt r ; th y
i e i e in e e e ar e

abou t as much i plac as th y would b if you pok n e e e S e

th m t p s l i tr ductio L av l tt rs of i
e a a er on a n o n. e e e e h
 G E N L EMEN S BOOK OF E IQUE TTE
T
’
T .

so m words of co m plim t xpr ssiv f t h valu f

e en , e e e o e e o

th am for whi h you ask is i good tast You m y

e n e c ,
n e . a

f r to t h d ds or c l brity which hav mad t h

re e e ee am e e e e e n e

so d sirabl ed also xpr ss your s s

e , an f t h gr at e e en e o e e

ne ss of t h favor d th b ligatio t h gr ti g of i t
e ,
a n e o n e an n

will co f r n e .

A U OGR AP H L E T ER S hould b
T hort ; co tai i g T S e s n n n

m r ly a f w li s tha ki g t h p rso addr ss d f

e e e ne ,
n n e e n e e or

t h compli m
e t paid i r q u sti g t h sig atur
en d x n e e n e n e , an e

pr ssiv f t h pl asur i t giv s you to comply with t h

e e o e e e e e

re qu st If you wish to r fus (though o but ch u r l

e . e e n ne a

wo uld do so) d t f all i to t h ,rror f o .cc tri

no n e e o an e en c

Am rica whos high positio i t h ar m y t mpt d

e n e n n e e e a

coll ctor of autograph t q u t hi ig atur Th

e s o re es s S n e. e

g ral wrot i r ply

en e e n e

S ir ,
“I ’
ll be ha g d if I
n e s en d my utograph a to an yb dy o .

Yours ,
(6

an d g d hi am i full i t h stro ng b old l tt r s

Si ne s n e n n e ,
e e

which always charact riz d his ha d writi g e e n n .

IN VI A O N S L AD IE S hould b writt i t h thir d

T TI TO S e en n e

p rso u l ss you
e n, v ry i timat with th m or
n e ar e e n e e , c an

claim r latio ship All l tt r addr ss d t

e n lady .
”

e e s e e o a

S hould b writt i a r sp ctful styl

e d wh
en th y n e e e , an en e

ar e short d to a co m parativ stra g r t h third p rso

an e n e , e e n

is th most l ga t
e to R m mb r i dir cti g
e e n one us e . e e e , n e n

l tt rs to you g ladi s t h ld st
e e i a fam ily is d
n e , e e e on e n a

dr ss d b y th sur am alo whil t h oth rs hav ls

e e e n e n e, e e e e a o

t h pr p
e m ; thu if y wrot t th daught r s
o er na e s, ou e o e e
 LE T ER WR N G
T ITI . 27 5

of Mr . Sm i th , t he e ld st
is Miss S mith th oth rs e on e , e e ,

Miss A i S m ith d M iss Ja S mith

nn e an ne .

I vitatio s sho uld b s t by yo u r w s va t or

n n e en o n er n
,

cl rk N othi g i ~m v ulgar tha s di g i vitatio s

e . n s or e n en n n n

thro ugh t h d spatch d y e e th risk f th i

,
a n ou r un e o e r

b i g d lay d Th first ti m that yo u i vit a la dy to

e n e e . e e n e

ac o mpa y you to rid walk or visit y plac f

c n e, ,
an e o

p ublic a mus m t y ho uld also i vit h m oth r

e en , ou S n e er e ,

s ist r or y oth r lady i t h sam f am ily u l ss y

e , an e n e e ,
n e ou

hav a m oth r or ist r with whom t h lady i vit d

e e S e e n e is

acq u ai t d w h you sho uld say i yo ur ot that your

n e ,
en n n e

moth r or sist r will acco mpa y you

e e n .

L E ER S COMPL ME N b i g co fi d to
TT OE I sub T e n n ne on e

j ect ho u ld
S b short d si m pl
e If th y f
an tha k e . e ar e o n s

for i quiry m ad th y hould m r ly ho t h l tt

n e, e S e e ec e e er

th y a sw r with th ack owl dg m t of your corr s

e n e , e n e e en e

p on d t encourt ’
sy
s e .

L E ER S C RA U A N L tt rs of g t
TT CE ON G T L TIC . e e c on ra u

latio t h most agr

n ar e abl f all l tt rs to writ ; yo u
e ee e o e e e r

S ubj t is b f or y
ec d yo u hav th pl asur
e e o u, a n f sym e e e e o

p t
a h i i g i
z n t h happ i
n ss f a feri d T h y ho u
ne ld b o en . e S e

writt i a f ra k g ial styl with warm p m

en n n ,
en e, ex r es s ns

f pl asur at your f ri d s joy d admit of happy ’

en
o e e
y ,
an an

q u otatio s or j st n e .

Wh co gratulati g yo r f ri d
en n occasio of
n u en on an n

hap pi ss to him s l f b v ry car f ul that yo u r l tt r h

ne e , e e e e e as

no w ord f vy at his good f ortu

o en f ars f it ne, no e or s

short durati o ro
p p h y of
n, n o a cha g f t h wors ec ; n e or e e

l t all b bright ch r f u l
e e d hop f ul
, Th ree f w ,
a n e . e e ar e e

m enwhos lif calls for l tt rs f co gratulatio upo

e e e e o n n n

ma y occa io s l t t h m hav b right u cloud d o

n s n , e e e ,
n e n es
27 6 GEN LEMEN S BOOKT
’
or E TIQUE E TT .

wh th y en clai m th m If you hav oth r fri d

e c an e . e e en s

whos sorro w m ak s co trast with t h j oy f th

e e a n e o e

p rso to whom you

e n writi g y v if you ‘
ar e n ,
na , e en

yours lf e i fl i ti
are do t m tio it i such
”

n a c on , no en n n a

l tt r
e e .

At th a m t m e S void th ti f e i
g t i
e a i e sa re o e xa er a on n

y our xpr ssio

e s f co
e gratul tio n d b ov ry car f u ln a n , an e e e

h w you u d rli
o a word If you writ a hop tha t
n e ne . e e

yo u r f ri d may b p f tlg h pp g h will t thi k

en e er e c a , e no n

that t h m pha is pro s th str gth f yo ur wish b t

e e s ve e en o ,
u

that you f ar f u l that it will

ar e t b f u l fill d
e no e e .

If at t h am ti m that you
e S writi g a l tt r of
e e ar e n e e

co gratulatio you hav sorrowf ul ws to co mm u icat

n n, e ne n e,

do t p u t your tidi gs of gri f i to your co grat l atory

no n e n n u

l t t r ; l et that o tai o ly ch r f ul pl a t word ;

e e c n n n ee ,
e san s

e v if yo ur pai fu l ws must b
en t t h sam day
n ne e s en e e ,

s en d it i a s parat pistl
n e e e e

L E R S O CON D OLE N C E
TT E E tryi g b oth to th writ ar e n e er

an d to t h r ad r e If your sy m pathy
e e .cr d is Si n e e , an

you f l th gri f of your f ri d as if it w r your w

ee e e en e e o n,

you will fi d it diffi ult t xpr s writt words t h

n c o e es in en e

sorrow that you ious t co mf ort ar e an x o .

E v t h warm st m ost si c r xpr ssio s so u d

en e e ,
n e e e e n ,
n

cold d co mm o plac to t h m our r d

an n grasp of
e e n e , an on e

t h ha de gla c f t h y will do mor to x pr s

n ,
o ne n e o e e e, e e e s

s ympat hy tha whol h ts f writt words It i n e S ee o en . s

b ste t to t y to say ll that you f

no r l Y will fail i a ee . ou n

th att mpt d m y w ary y f i d L t yo u r

e e an a e o ur
‘

r en . e

l tt r th
e e , b shor t ( t h artl s ly ) bu t l t it
en , e ,
no e e s so e s

words though f w b warm d i

,
e A y light
,
e
'

an S n c er e . n
,

c h rful j sti g will b i sul ti g

ee e n l tt of e n n in a e er c on
27 8 G EN TLEMEN S B OOK ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

To writ af t r act has b p rform d d stat

e e an e en e e ,
a n e

what your advic would hav b had your Opi ioe e e en , n n

b een k d i as xtr m ly f oolish d if you disapprov

e ,
s e
‘
e e ,
an e

of th cours that has b tak your b st pla i

e e e en en , e n s,

c rtai ly to say othi g about it

e n , n n .

I writi g your l tt r of advic

n n giv your judg m t e e e, e e en

as opi io an t a l w n d say ca didly tha t you will

n, n o a , a n n
”

no t f l hurt if co trary advic fl d b y y oth r

ee n e o
'

er e an e ,

mor co mp t t t judg i t h cas is tak

e e en Whil
o e n e e, en . e

your ca dor may forc you to giv t h m ost u palatabl

n e e e n e

co u s l l t your court sy so xpr ess it tha t it ca o t

n e , e e e , nn

giv o f f ce en e .

L E ER S O E X CU S E
TT som tim s c ssary d
E ar e e e ne e ,
an

t h y sho u ld b
e writt promptly as a lat a pology f
e en , e or

o ff c is w ors tha apology at all Th y hould

“

an en e e n no . e S

b writt
e i fra k m a ly styl co ta g
en n a x n ,
n e, n i ni n an e

pla atio of t h o ff c
n n d t h f acts which l d to it
e en e , an e e ,

th e assura c of t h abs c of m alic or d sir to

n e e en e e e e

o ff d sorrow for t h circu msta c s d a hop tha t

en ,
e n e , an e

your apology will b cc pt d N v r wai t u til e a e e . e e n ci r

cu m t forc
s an c e s apology from you b f or writi g
e an e e n a

l tt r of xcus
e e A f ra k pro m pt ack owl dg m t
e e . n , n e e en

of fl
an d a ca didly xpr ss d d sir to ato
o e n c e, an n e e e e e ne

for it or for i d ulg c towards it ca ot fail to

,
n en e ,
nn c on

ciliat y r aso abl p rso

e an e n e e n.

C AR D S O COM P L ME N T must al ways b writt i th

F I e en n e

t hird p rso n e .

AN SWER S Th first r q uisit i a sw ri g a l tt

. e e e n n e n e er

u po n
y su bjanct i pro m pt s If you
e a sw ,r s ne s. c an n e

b y r tur of mail do so ; if t writ

e n soo as possi,
no , e as n
 LE ER WRIT N G
TT I . 27 9

b le If you r c iv a l tt r maki g i quiri s abo u t

. e e e e e n n e

facts which you will r quir tim to asc rtai th w rit

e e e e n, en e

a f w li
e ack owl dgi g th r c ipt of th l tt r f
nes n e n e e e e e e o

i q iry
n u d promi i g t
an s n d th i formatio
o s en soo e n n as n

as pos ibl s e.
 G QU W E DD I N E TI E TT E .

F RO M an
“
E glish work Th Hab it of G ood S
n e s o
,

ci ty I quot so m dir ctio for th gu da c of th

e ,
”
e e e ns e i n e e

happy m wh propos s to t r t h stat of matri

an o e en e e e

mo y I h v alt r d a f w words to sui t th diff r c

n . a e e e e e e en e

o f cou try b ut w h
n w ddi gs
,
p rform d i church en e n ar e e e n ,

th e rul giv h r es xc ll t Th y will apply

en e e ar e e e en . e

e qually w ll to t h v i g c r mo y
e e e en n e e n .

“A t i tim wh t our f li gs eor ought to b mos t

en ee n ar e e

s usc p tibl wh t he happi ss or mis ry of co ditio

e e, en ne e a n n

in which th r i m dium b g s w
e e s urrou d d
no e e in , e ar e s n e

with forms d tiq u tt s which ris b for th wary

an e e e e e e e un

l ik p ctr s
e S e d which v
e , ant h most igid c r m o ial e en e r e e n

i t r gard with a sort of dr ad

s s e e .

“W r t e et how v r for th s
i form
no , d for thi s e e , e e s , an

c sity of b i g
n e es ég l th r m ight e n t h sol m on r e, e e ,
o n e e n

i za ti of marriag b co fusio forg tful ss d

on e, e n n, e ne ,
a n ,

e v en — p ak iSt t e —
aloud irritatio am o g t h parti
no n n e es

most i timat ly co c r d E xcit m t might rui all

n e n e ne . e en n .

Without d fi it programm th old maids of th

a e n e e, e e

family would b thrusti g i advic Th ag d chro icl r

e n n e . e e n e

o f pa t v t s gra d moth r b y th fir sid would

e en s , o r n e e e e,

h v it ll h w y ; th v r bl b h l i t ights
a e a er a e en e a e ac e or n ,
282 G ENTLE MEN S ’

no on on E TIQUE TTE .

in F ra c tak car so s oo
n e da ght r i b or t
e e, n as a u e s n, o

put asid a m of m o y for h l t as th y w ll

e su ne er
‘
oo ,
’
e e

k ow that what v r may b h a ttractio s th t is i

n , e e e er n , a n

disp sabl en ord r to b marri d Th y

e in e vr e e . e ar e e e on
v

t h look out for

e youth with at l ast a qual fortu ,
e , a n e ne,

or mor ; or if th y e rich for titl which is d m d

, e ar e ,
e, ee e

t a tamou t to fortu
n ; e
n v t h pow r of writi g thos
ne e en e e n

t w littl l tt r D b for your am h

o e e e s o m valu
e e e n e as s e e in

th marriag co tract Havi g tisfi d t h ms lv s

e e n . n sa e e e e ,

t h y thus add r ss t h you g lady

e e It i w tim for e n s no e

y outo b
“
marri d ; I k
e o w f ligi b l
e match ; you ’

n o an e e

c an s e eth g tl m a ith r at such a ball or [

e en e if h i
n, e e , e s

Se rious! at ch rch I do t k y to tak him if hi

u . no as ou e s

a pp eara c is positiv ly disagr ab l t you if w

n e e ee e o s o, e

will look out for so m ls e on e e e .

’

A matt r of custo m t h you g l ady sw r t h t

s a e , e n an e s a

t h wille f h par t is h rs ; h co s t t tak

o er en s e S e n en s o e a

S urv y of him to Whom h d sti y is to b trust d ;

e er e n
“

e en e

an d l t us pr sum that h is cc pt d though it do

e e e e a e e ,
es

no t follow d som ti m s it tak s s v ral mo ths to l oo k

,
a n e e e e e n

t as it do s for oth r matt rs

ou , e hous or a plac e e , a e, e , or

a pair of hors s How v r h co s ts ; f orm al i

e . e e , S e n en a n

t d ti
ro tak s p lac ; th p m calls i full dr ss t
uc on e e e ro is n e o

se e his futur wif ; th y o ly j ust to sp ak t ach

e e e ar e n e o e

o th r d thos f w m a i g words
e , an e pok i th
e un e n n ar e S en n e

pr s c of t h brid l ct s moth r ; for t h F r c h

e en e e e e e
-
’
e e en

t hi k it most i discr t to allow t h a ff ctio s of

n n girl
ee e e n a

t b i t r st d b f or marr ag
o e n e e l st dur g th arra g
e e e i e, e in e n e

m t for t h co tract all hould b b rok

en s e n ff If h S e en o . S e

h dislik it is ough ; v r for

as n o e, sta t en th ne e an i n n are e

en gag d coupl l ft al o
e d i v ry f w
e e d th y n e , an n e e c as e s o e
 W E DD N G E Q UE E
I TI TT . 2 83

go up to th altar w ith m or tha a f w w ks acq ai t

e e n e ee
’
u n

a n ce d u sually w ith l ss
,
an Th wh ol matt r is th e . e e e en

arra g d by otari s who sq u abbl ov r t h m arriag

n e n e , e e e e

co tra t d g t all th y
n c , an f th ir cli ts e e c an or e en .

“T h o tract is us u ally sig d i F ra c

e c n t h day ne n n e on e

b f or t h m arriag w h all is co sid r d saf ; t h

e e e e, en n e e e e re

ligi portio f th ir bo d tak s plac i t h ch ur h

o us n o e n e e n e c ,

an d th th two you g cr atur s

en l f t tog th r to
e n e e ar e e e e

un d rsta d a h oth r if th y
e n d to lov
e c ach oth r e e c an , a n e e e

i f th y will ; if
e t th y mu st co t t th m s lv s with
no e n en e e e

what is t r m d m g d
e P i e , u n
’
ena e e ar s .

“I E gla d f or m rly m uch t h sam syst m

n n n , p e , e e e re

v ail d A boy of f o urt

e . b f or goi g his trav ls e en , e e n on e ,

was co tract d to a girl f l v s l ct d as his f utur

n e o e e en, e e e e

wif by par ts or g u ardia s ; h ca m back a f t r t h

e en n e e e e

g d
r an t to f
e u lfil t h gag
ou r m t Bu t by law it was e en e en .

i m p rativ that f orty days ho uld at l ast pass b t w

e e S e e e en

t h co tract
e d t h m arriag ; duri g w hi h dr ary i
n an e e n c e n

t l t h co u pl
e r va l ash d tog th r lik two yo u g gr y
e e, e e e e e n e

ho u ds would hav tim to thi k of t h f u tur I

n ,
e e n e e. n

F ra c t h p rilous p riod of r fl ctio is t allow d

n e, e e e e e n no e .

‘
I r ally m so glad w
e to tak a jo ur y said
a e ar e e ne
’

, a

you g F r ch lady to h f ri ds ; I hall thus g t to

n en er en
‘
S e

k ow so m thi g abou t my h u sba d ; h is quit a stra g r

n e n n e e n e

to m S o m striki g
e .
’
sta c s f t h M i g d
e n in n e o e ar r a e e

c on ven an ce b i g i f ri g d hav lat ly occ urr d i

e n n n e on , e e e n

F ra c Th lat M o si ur d Toc qu vill marri d f

n e. e e n e e e e e or

lov af t r a fi y ars gag m t Guizot probably

e, e ve e
’
en e en .
,

i flu c d by his acqu ai ta c wit h E gla d gav hi

n en e n n e n n , e s

daught rs lib rty to choos for th m s lv s d th y

e e e e e e , an e
2 84 G EN LEMEN S BOOK
T
’
or E TIQUE E TT .

marri d for l e v ry i d licat proc di g

ove
* — ‘
a e n e e ee n ,
’
re

m ark d F r ch comt ss of t h o l d ég m wh
e a en e e e r e e, en

S p aki g of this arr g m t

e n an e en .

“N othi g a b mor oppos d t n c nll thi tha t h e e e o a s n e

Am rica syst m
e Th y n so t acious of th fr do m
e . e ar e en e ee

o f choic that v p r uas o

e, thought crimi al
e en e s i n is n .

“I F t i t i oft
r an c e n e com m c d t
o h o n s ar e en en e on e
n
g a
'

l ady s id ; i Am rica
’
S ev r E v too couragi g
n e , n e e . en en n

a ma n r v t h ordi ary att tio s of civility

n e , e en e n en n ,
ar e ,

o ccasio ally a matt r of r proach W

n ,
j alous of e e . e ar e e

t h d licacy of that sacr d b o d which w pr sum

e e t e n ,
e e e o

hop is to pri g out f mutual aff ctio A g tl ma

e S n o e n. en e n

who from what v r mot v s has mad up hi mi d t

,
e e i e , e s n o

marr y may t a b out it i two ways

, se H may propos n . e e

b y l tt r or i words Th custo m s of soci ty i mply

e e n . e e

th c ssity of suffici t k owl dg of th lady to b

e ne e a en n e e e e

addr ss d This v i this cou try is a dif fic lt

e e .
, e en n n ,
u .

poi t to b attai d ; d aft r all ca ot b calc ulat d

n e ne an , e ,
nn e e

b y tim si c i larg c iti s you may k ow p opl

e, n e, n e e , n e e a

y ar d y t b co m parativ stra g rs ; d m ti g
e ,
a n e e e n e an ,
ee n

t h m i t h cou try may b com i ti m at i

e n e n w k , e e n e n a ee .

“Ha i g mad up his mi d t h

v n t l m if e en e an o er s
g e n ,

wis ly if he , sp ch L tt rs s ldom xpr s

e c an , i n ee . e e ar e e e e

s iv of what r ally pass s i t h mi d of m ; or if

e e e n e n an ,

e xpr ssiv s m f oolish i c d p f li g

e e, ee liabl t , S n e ee ee n s ar e e o

e xagg ra tio E v ry writt word may b t h th m

e n . e en e e e e

o f cavil S tudy car which avail i

. v ry oth r p ci
, e, n e e e S e es

f co mpositio d ath to th lov r s ff usio A f w ’

o n , ar e e e e e n. e

s t c s spok i ar st d b rok by m otio

en e n e , en n e ne ,
a n en e n,

ar e mor loqu t tha pag s f s tim t b oth t

e e en n e o en en , a

Tw broth rs am d D Wi tt o e , n e e e .
28 6 GEN TLEMEN S B OOK ’
or E TIQ UE T E T .

his w aff airs r sp ctf ul co sid ratio for thos of th

o n ,
e e n e n e e

fa mily h is abo u t to t r mark a tru g tl m a

e en e , e en e n.
“I F ra c how v r gay
n d v
n blam ab l a m
e, e e an e en e e an

may hav b n b f or his b t t h l h co d cts hi ms lf

e ee e e e ro e , e n u e

wit h th ut m ost propri ty aft r that v t A s s of

e e e e en . en e

wha t is d to a lady sh ould r pr ss all habits u pl asa t

ue e e n e n

to h ; s moki g if disagr abl ; fr qu t g plac s of

er n , ee e e en i n e

am us m t without h ; or payi g att tio to oth

e en er n en n er

wom I this r sp ct i d d t h s s
en . n f ho o e e ,
n ee ,
e en e o n r

Sho uld l d a m to b as scr upulous wh his fu t r

ea an e en u e

wi f ab t as w h h is pr s t if t m or so
e is sen en S e e en , no e .

I qually b ad tast is xclusiv ss Th d votio

n e e e en e . e e ns

f two gag d p rso s hould b r s rv d for th tet d ‘

o en e e n S e e e e e e -

tét d wo m
e, a n g rally i faul t wh it is oth r
e n ar e en e n en e

W s i Th y lik to xhibit th ir co q u st ; th y ca o t
e . e e e e n e e nn

disp s with att tio s ; th y forg t tha t t h d m o

en e en n e e e e n

t ti
s ra of y p culiar co ditio of thi g i s ci ty
on an e n n n s n o e

m st mak so m
u u com f ortabl ; th you g la dy i
e e on e n e e n s

un comfortabl b caus h is t qually hap py ; t h

e e e s e no e e

you g m d t sts what h calls o s s ; th old thi k

n an e e e n n en e e n

th r is a tim for all thi gs All sit ti g apart th r

e e e n . n ,
e e

for d p culiar displays

e , an ei b ad tast ; I m ,
a r e n e a in

cli d to thi k that th y o f t n acco mpa y

ne n si c ri ty e e n in n e
/ ,

an d that t h tru st a ff ctio ethos which r s rv d

e e n s ar e e ar e e e e

for the g u d h artf l t i timacy of privat i t r

en i n e an e e n e n e

vi ws At th sam ti m th airs of i diff r c d

e . e e e, e n e en e an

avo da c hould b q ally guard d agai s t ; i

i n e S e e u e n S n c e,

ho w r stro g d mutual attachm t m y b such

e ve n an en a e, a

li f co duct is apt dl ssly to m isl ad oth rs d

ne o n n ee e e e ,
an

so produc mischi f Tru f li g d a l ady lik

e e . e ee n , an -
e con

s id tio f th rs poi t i whic h th pr t g

er a n or o e ,
a n n e e s en en e
 W E DD IN G E Q U E E TI TT . 2 87

ratio ss tially f ails

n e en th b st g id s f st ri g ,
a r e e e u e or ee n

b twe th xtr m s f d m o stratio

e en e e th e ha d e o e n n on e on e n ,

an d f f rigidity
o t h oth r on e e .

Duri g t h arra g m t of p cu iary matt rs

n e n e en e n e , a

you g lady ho uld d avor to u d rsta d what is goi g

n S en e n e n n

on, r c ivi g it i a right pirit If h h f ortu h

e e n n S . S e as n e, s e

S ho uld i all poi ts l f t to h b g rous d fid

,
n n e er , e en e an con

i g at th sa m tim prud t
n , e Ma y a me h ho ulde en . n an , s e S

r m mb r may abou d i xc ll t qualiti s d y t b

e e e , n n e e en e , an e e

i mprovid t H m y m a to do w ll y t hav a pas

en . e a e n e , e e

sio f b uildi g ; h may b th v ry soul f good

n or n e e e e o na

t r y t f o d of t h gami g tabl h may hav

u e, e n e n -
e e e no

wro g prop siti s of that sort d y t hav a co f u s d

n en e ,
a n e e n e

n otio of accou ts d b
n of thos m who muddl
n ,
an e on e e en e

a w ay a gr at d al of mo y e k ows how ; or h
e ne ,
n o o n e n e

m yba too strict co omist a m who tak s too good

e a e n ,
an e

car f t h p c till h tir s yo u r v ry lif out abo t

e o e en e, e e e e u

an xtra dollar ; or h m y b facil or w akly good

e e a e e e

n at ur d d hav a f ri d who pr ys
e ,
an him e d en e on , an

for who m h is dispos d to b co m s curity F i ally

e e e e e . n
,

t h b lov d Charl s H
e e e ry or R gi ald may hav o
e , en ,
e n e n ne

o f th s prop siti s b ut m y cha c to b

e e en ho s t e , a n e e an ne

m r ha t or a trad s m a wit h all his floati g cap tal i

e c n , e n, n i n

b u si ss d a co s qu t risk of b i g
ne ,
a n day rich
n e en e n on e ,

th xt a pa up r
e ne e .

“Upo v ry accou t th r for it i d sirabl for

n e e n , e e e, s e e a

yo u g lady to hav a s ttl m t h ; d h sho uld

n e e e en on er an s e

no ,t f ro m a w ak pirit f roma c Op p os h f ri d
e S o n e, e er en s

who advis it si c it is f h h u sba d s adva tag as

e ,
n e or er n
’
n e

w ll as h w B y maki g a t tl m t t h is al w ay
e er o n. n se e en er e s

a f d which
un o t b touch d — om thi g ho w v
c an n e e a s e n , e er
2 88 GE N LEM EN S BOOK
T
’
oE E IQUE TTE
T .

Sm all as a provisio for a w if d childr ; d wh th

, n e an en an e er

S h hav f ort u
e or t this o u ght to b mad A l
e ne no , e e. n a

l owa c f dr s s hould also b arra g d

n e or e d thi
s e n e an s

S ho uld b admi ist r d i such way that a wif hould

e n e e n a e S

t hav to ask for it at i co v i t hours d th ir ‘

no e n n en e n ,
a n us

r it t ha e husb a d er n .

“E v ry pr lim i ary b i g s ttl d th r r mai s

e e n e n e e e e e n no
,

t h g xc pt to fix th marr ag day
in e e poi t alway l f t e i e -

,
a n s e

to t h lady to adva c ; d xt to s ttl h w th c r

e n e an ne e e o e e e

mo al i to b p rfor m d is t h subj ct of co sid ratio

ni s e e e e e n e n.
“It i to b lam t d that pr viou t so sol m
s e en e e s o e n a
,

c r mo y t h thoughts f t h lady co c r d must

e e n , e o e n e ne ne

ily b
c e s s ar gag d for som tim upo h t
e en e e e n er r ou s s e a u .

Th t e co sists this cou try of all th hab ili

r ou s s e au n ,
i n n , e

m ts c ssary for a l ady s

en ne e for t h first tw or thr ’
us e e o ee

y ars of h marr d lif ; lik v ry oth r utfit th r

e er ie e e e e e o e e

ar e a lways umb r f rtic l i troduc d i t it tha t

a n e o a es n e n o

ar e n e xt t us l s d o o ly cal cul t d f th i
e e s , an ar e n a e or e va n

g lory of t h ost tatiou e en s

“Th t e b i g comp l t d
r ou s s e a ud t h day fix d it
e n e e a n e e
, ,

b co m
e c ss ry t s l ct t h b rid sm id
es ne e a d th o e e e e a s an e

b rid groom m
e d t i vit t h gu sts
’
s an , an o n e e e .

“Th b rid s maids e fro m two to igh t i umb e

e ar e e n n r.

It i ridiculou t hav ma y as t h r al i t tio of t h

s s o e n , e e n en n e

b rid s m aid is that h hould act

e ,
wit s of t h S e S as a ne s e

m arr ag iIt is how v r thought complim t t i

e. , e e , a en o n

l d t h b rid sist r d thos of th b rid groom

’ ’
c u e e e s e s an e e e s

re latio d i timat fri ds i

ns an ca ist r do t
n e en ,
n se S e s
’

no

e xist .

“Wh b rid i you g th b rid s maid should b

en a e s n e e s e

y u g ; b t it i b urd t
o n u i gl wom f c
s a s o see a
‘
S n e an o a er
290 G ENTLE MEN S B OO K ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

g tl m
en wr e en e e —
marri e d as
r c tly d c as d fri d a e en e e e en

o —
f mm was m whit sati br ch s
e d wais t coat I e n ee e an . n

th s days m show l ss J y i th ir attir t t h fo d

e e en e o n e e a e n

co sumatio of th i hop s d mor i th ir fac s A

n n e r e , an e n e e .

- —
dark b lu frock coat b lack b i g sup rstitiously
e -
e n e c on

s id d m i ous
er e — whit waistcoat d pa r f l ight
o n a e ,
a n a 1 o

trous rs fi for th happy m

e ,
s u ce Th ck ti als e an .
’
e ne -
e o

s hould b light d impl P olish d b oots

e an t s e . e ar e no

a miss though plam o s

,
b tt r Th glov s m us t ne ar e e e . e e

b as whit as t h li
e B oth
e —
typic l f i th s
e nen. ar e a or n e e

days typ s as i mporta t as u d r t h H b r w l w

e ar e n n e e e e a

g
—
1ve r s f t h purit y of
o mi d d he art which sup n an e ar e

pos d t xist i th ir w ar r E h u ! aft r all h

e o e n e e e . e e ,
e c an

no t b t w ll dr ss d for t h mor gay h i the

e oo e e e , e e e s

gr eat r t h co mplim t t his b rid F low rs i t h

e e en o e. e n e

b utto hol d
n -
s m il t h fac
e an ho w t h b rid groo m
a e on e e s e e

to b r ally happy m
e e a an .
’

A soo th
s carriag n t thas doo t hos e es ar e a e r, e

b rid smai ds wh happ

e t b i,
th hous o d th en o e n e e , an e

o th m mb r f t h family t ff first Th b rid

er e e s o e se o . e e

go s last with h fath r d mo th r; or with h moth

e ,
er e an e er er

alo a d th b roth r or r lativ who to r pr s t h

n e, n e e e e 1s e e en er

fa t h r i cas of d ath or abs c Th b rid groom

e n e e en e . e e ,

hi fri d or b rid groo m s m d t h b rid s m aid

’
s en , e an , a n e e s

o ught to b waiti g i th church Th fath r of t h

e n n e . e e e

b rid giv h hi e m esd l ad h erto t h altars ar ,

a n e s er e .

H r h brid smaids sta d ar h as arra g d b y th

e e er e n ne er , n e e

cl rk d th brid groom tak s hi appoi t d plac

e ,
an e e e s n e e.

It is go od thi g for th b rid groom s m to dis

a n e e
’
an

trib ut th diff r t f s to th cl rgyma or cl rgym

e e e en ee e e n e en ,
 WE DDIN G E IQUE E
T TT . 291

t he cl rk d p w op r b for th
e ,
a n l of t h b r d
e -
en e , e e e ar r 1 va e 1 e,

as it pr v ts co f sio a f t r w ards
e en n u n e .

Th brid sta ds to t h l f t f t h brid groo m

e e n d e e o e e ,
an

t ak s t h glov
e ff h right ha d whilst h tak s hi
e e (
o er n ,
e e s

glov ff his right ha d Th brid giv s h glov to

e o n . e e e er e

t h brid s m aid to hold

e e d so m ti m s to k p as a good ,
a n e e ee ,

om en .

“Th s rvic th e b gi s Duri g t h r cital it is

e e en e n n e e
.
,

c rtai ly a m att r f f li g how t h parti s co c r d

e n e o ee n e e n e ne

sho uld b hav ; b u t if t ars

e b r strai d
e d a e c an e e ne ,
an

q ui t m od sty i th lady display d d h em otio

e e n e e ,
an er ns

s ubd u d it adds much to th gratificatio f oth rs nd

e ,
e n o e ,
a

sav s a f w pa gs to th par ts from w ho m h is t

e e n e en s e o

part .

It should b r m mb r d that this is b ut th closi g

e e e e e e n

en e —
sc of a dra m a f so m duratio fi t t h o ff r th o e n rs e e , en

t h co s
e t d gag m t I m ost cas s th m
n en an en e en . n e e ar

r ai g has b e pr c d d by acts which hav stamp d t h

e en e e e e e e

whol with c rtai ty although w do t adopt t h

e e n , e no e c on

tract s y st m f o u r for f th rs e d altho u gh

o v t e a e ,
a n no e en

i this lif
n b c rtai e c an e e n.

“I hav o m itt d t h m tio of t h b ouqu t b caus

e e e en n e e , e e

it s ms to m always awkward additio to t h brid

ee e an n e e,

an d that it sho uld b pr s t d a f t rwards h r tur e e en e e on er e n

to th br ak f ast G d i if i s aso whit azalia

e e . ar en e s , n e n, e ,

or v cam llias with v ry littl ora g flow rs f orm

e en e , e e n e e ,

th e bridal bou qu t Th brid s m aids dr ss d e . e e ar e e e ,

o n

this occasio so as to com pl t th pictur w ith ff ct

n
, e e e e e e .

Wh th r en six or ight it is us u al f thr f th m

e e ar e e , or ee o e

to dr ss i e color d thr i a oth r At so m f

n on e ,
a n ee n n e . e o

t h most fa hi
e ab l w ddi gs i L o do th b r id s
s on e e n n n n, e e
2 92 G EN TLEMEN S B OOK ’
or ETI QUE TTE .

maid s —
w e ar v e ils th e s e
usually of t or t ull whit ar e ne e e

t arlata dr ss s ov r musli or b autif ully work d

n e e , e n e -
e

dr ss s
e much wor with colors i troduc d pi k
e , ar e — n, n e n or

blu d scar v s of thos colors ;

e , an d whit b o
e ts i f e an e nne ,

bo tsnn e wor trimm d with flow rs to corr spo d

ar e n, e e e n .

Th s e e hould b simpl b ut t h flow rs as atural

s e e, e e n as

possibl d of t h fi st q ual ity

e , an Th b ou q u ts of t h
e ne . e e e

b rid s m aid should b of mix d flow rs Th s th y

e s e e e . e e e

may hav at church but t h pr s t custom is for t h

e ,
e e en e

g tl m of t h hous to pr s t th m th r tur
en e en e e e en e on e1 re n

ho m pr vious to t h w ddi g b r ak f ast

e, e e e n e .

“Th r gist r i the e sig d Th brid quit th

e s en ne . e e s e

church first with t h b ri d groom d g ts i to his r e e ,

a n e n ca

i g
r a d t h f ath r
e , an d m oth r b rid s m aids
e d b rid
e an e e ,
an e

gr om s m follow i ord r i th ir w
o
’
an , n e n e o n.

“Th b r akfa t is arra g d

e e or mor tab l
s n e on on e e es,

an d is g rally p w d d b y co f ctio r wh xp s
en e ro e a n e ne en e en e

is t o bj ct
no an e .

P r s ts e en usual first from t h b rid groom to th

ar e , e e e

b rid s m aids Th s g rally co sist of j w lry ,t he

e . e e en e n e e

d vic
e f wh ich sho u ld b u iqu or q uai t t h articl
e o e n e n , e e

m or l ga t tha m assiv Th f m al s rva ts f t h

e e e n n e . e e e e n o e

family m or sp cially s rva ts who hav liv d ma y

, e e e e n e e n

y ars i th ir p lac also xp ct pr s ts such as gow

e n e e, e e e en , ns

or sha wls ; to a v ry val u d p rso al att da t

or e e e n en n or

hous k p r watch B ut
e ee e , a s u ch p m t discr tio . on o s e n

m ust sugg st d lib rality m asur out th l g f

“
e ,
a n e e e e ar es s e o

t h gift
e .

Wh t h c r m o y is p r f orm d at t h hous of th
en e e e n e e e e e

b rid t h brid groo m shoul d b r ady f ll hal f

e, e e hou e e u an r

b for e th t im ppoi t d
e e d t r th parl or at th
e a n e , an en e e e
 G EN TLE MEN S B OO K ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

C H A P TE R X V I I .

QU R
ETIA AM U MN
E T TE F O PL CE S O F SE E T .

WH E N you W h to i vit l ady t acco m pa y you t

1s n e a o n o

t h t h atr
e op ra co c rt or y oth r public pla
e e, e ,
a n e ,
an e ce

o f mus m t
a d t h i vitatio th d y pr vious to
e en , s en e n n e a e

th s l ct d for taki g h
e on e e e d writ it i t he thi d
e n er , a n e n r

p rso If it is th firs t tim you hav i vit d h

e n. e e e n e er , 1n

c lud h moth r
e er t som oth r l ady i th i vit a
e , S 1s e r , or e e n e n

t o
l n.

If h cc pt you i vitatio l t it b y ur ext car

s e a e s r n n, e e o n e

t s cur good
o e ts f it i b t poo comp lim t t
e s ea , or s u a r en o

i vit
n lady t g t th op ra d put h i
e a o o o e e , a n er n an un

c omfor t b l at wh h a e se ith h ar , b er e s e c an n e er e , s e e ,
n o r e

s een .

though wh l o you will t court ou pa t

Al , en a n e, ac a e s r

ln
g V g yo
1 1n a t t tra g l
ur s e ady wh i ta di
o a s g n e , o s s n n ,

i r wd d o c t om you h ul d t d
n a c o e c n er wh
ro , s o no o so en

y ou with
ar e l ady B y g V ga up y u p l ac . b sid 1 1n o r e e e

h y
er , m y plac
ou l ady
a xt h who m e ah will fi d ne er , s e n

an u p l sa t compa io a d you yours l f p at d

n ea n n n, n ar e e se ar e

from h wh t h co v rsatio b tw th acts mak

er , en e n e n e e en e es

on e of t h gr at s t pl asur s of
e e v ing p t i thi
e e e an e en S en n s

w y a I cas
. f ccid t t
n e h d priv
o a h f hi en , oo, e e es er o s

p r t c
o et d giv
i on, anh t h pp ra c f h esv i g m
er e a ea n e o a n co e
 E TIQUE TTE FOB . PLAC E S or A MU SEMENT 295

alo ne. Your first duty wh you scorti g a lad y , en ar e e n ,

is to that lady b f or all oth rs e e e .

Wh you en with a lady at a plac of am us m t ,

ar e e e en

y oumust t l a v your noat u til you eris to scort

e h se n e e er

hom If at th op ra you may i vit h to pro m ad

e . e e , n e er en e

b twe t h acts but if h d cli

een e s do you too r mai
, s e e ne , e n

i your s at
n e .

L t ll your co v rsatio b m a low to

e a t whi
n e n e n e, n o s

prd e e with y air f myst ry but i a to tha t

,
n o r an o e , n ne

Will t disturb thos s at d

no ar you e e e ne .

A y lov r lik airs or attitu d s although you m y hav

n e -
e e , a e

t h right to assum th m
e i xc ssiv ly b ad tast i
e e , a r e n e e e e n

p ub lic .

If t h m g you hav appoi t d b a stormy

e e ve n e n e e on e,

you m u st call f your co mpa io with a car ag or d n n n e , an

this is t h mor l ga t way f t km g h v if th

e e e e n o a er e en e

W ath r do s
e et m ak it absolut ly
e no c sary e e ne es .

Wh y en t ri g a co c rt roo m or th b ox f
ou ar e en e n n e , e o

a th atr walk b f or your compa io up th aisl u til

e e, e e n n e e, n

you r ach th s ats you hav s cur d th tur o ff r

e e e e e e ,
en n, e

your ha d to h n d plac h i th i r s at taki g

e r , an e er n e nne e ,
n

t h outsid
e yours l f ; i goi g out if t h aisl is too
e on e e n n , e e

n arrow to Walk two abr ast you agai pr c d your e , n e e e

c ompa io til you r ach th lobby Wh r you tur

n n un e e , e e n

an d o ff r your m to h
e ar er .

L o u d talki g la u ght r or mistim d applaus

n , all e , e e , ar e

i v ry bad tast f
n e if you do t Wish to pay stri t
e, or no c

a tt tio to t h p r f orm a c thos arou d y probably

en n e e n e, e n ou

do d you pay but a poor co mplim t to your m

,
an en co

pa io i thus implyi g h wa t f i t r st i What h

n n n
‘

n er n o n e e n s e

cam to e s ee.
2 96 G EN TLE MEN S BOO K ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

cu you programm l ib r tto

Se re r co c r t b ill b e, e ,
o r n e , e

for taki g your s eat as if you l av it i rd r to h

e n , , e e , n e e o

t i n th m you may fi d so m
a e ,
ls occupyi g you
n e one e e n r

plac wh you r tur

e en d wh th e ats n , an t en e se ar e n o se

cur d h m y fus to i thus g m g you th alt r

e , e a re e r s e, lv e e na

t iv f
e o l t rc tio
an a l vi g your comp a i o W th t
e a n , or ea n n n 1 ou

an
y pr t cto o e O r you may
r. fi d l dy
, i you s at n a a n r e ,

m which c y h v
as e , lt rou ativ ba t mus t
e no a cc p t e n e, u a e

th p e l ty f y u c r l s s b y ta di g ll t h
en a o o r a e e sn e s
, s n n a e

e v i gen n .

I n wda d cro t pus h ,forw ord no h di g who m a , un ee n

y ou hur t i or m b ut
n c on vet y t prot ct your
en c e, com r o e

pam o f n , as po s ib l d b co t t t tak you

ar a s s e , an e n en o e r

t ur n.

If your at secur d c ll for your mp

s ar e s e e ,
a co an 1 o n ln

t im t b e oat d som thr

e se e four mi ut b for the e e or n es e e e

p erform c comm
an c es b t if you en visiti g
e , u ar e n a

hal l wh y ca o t gag s ts it i b e t t g
er e ou nn en e ea , s s o o

ea rly
If y oul ar ed l adi s pr s t with wh m
a on e a n see e e en o

y ou a c q u i
re a t d y may
a n e with p ,rf c t propri
ou ty g , e e e , o

an d c hat with th m b tw t h acts b t wh

e e with e en e , u en a !

l dy
a v l av h t sp ak to a oth r lady
, n e er e e er o e n e .

At xhibitan e f pictur i on tatuary y m y

o es or s , ou a

c on v rs b t l t i t b i a q ui t g tl m ly to
e e, u e e n d e , en e an n e , an

w ithou t g st ur or loud laught r If you ta d lo g

e e e . s n n

b for
e e pictur or statu
e on that you
e t i nt e, s e e ar e n o er

f m g with oth r wh may Wis h t

er e s th o am wo rk o see e s e

o f art If you. ggd i ar e tf

en d wis h
a e n c o n ve r s a on , a n

to r st d e , t t k o p sitio th t will pr v t th rs
no a e a o n a e en o e
298 G EN TLE MEN S ’
‘

BOOK or E TIQUE TTE .

C H A P TE R X V I I I .

M LLAN O U I S CE E S.

you walki g with lady who h you arm

ar e n a as r ,

b c r ful to k p t p with h
e a e .
d do t forc h
ee t s e e r , an no e er o

t ak lo g u ladylik st ps or trot b sid

e n ,
n you with t w e e , e e o

t ps to
s e of yours b y k p g your sual ma ly
on e , ee in u n

Nv e llo w l ady with whom you

er a a walki g t
,
ar e n , o

c arry b u dl hawl or b ag u l ss b oth you ha d

a n e, S , ,
n e r n s

ar e alr ady e p d i h w
o c cu 1e n er s erv e .

Wh you att d w ddi g or b ridal r c pt o it i

en en a e n e e 1 u, s

th b rid groom who m y fl

'

e e t g t l t ,
m g ou ar e o c on r a u a e , o er

to th brid your Wish s for h futur happ i ss b t

e e e er e ne ,
u

no t c on
g t l ti If
ra u a you you on
q . m t d with t h ar e a c ua e e

b rid groo m but t with t h brid p ak to him first

e ,
no e e, S e ,

an d h will i troduc you to his brid b t i

e n e y oth e, u n an er

c as you must s pe ak first to th b rid th to th b rid

e, e e, en e e

groom th th b rid smaids if you hav

,
en e
y p
e V ,
e an re 1o u s

a cq u a t c w ith th m th to th par t d fam ily

i n an e e , en e en s an

o f t h b ride d aft r all this you

e , an at lib rty to s k
e ar e e ee

y our oth r fri d e a m o g t h g

enu sts If
s you p n e e . ar e er

s lly
on a tra g r to th wly m d coupl b ut hav
a s n e e ne ar r l e e, e

re ec iv d card fro m b i g fri d of

e a f th famil i s
e n a en on e o e e
 M SCELLAN EO U
I S . 2 99

or from y oth r r aso it is t h first groomsma s

an e e n, e n
’

plac to i trod u c you d you hould giv him your

e n e ,
an S e

card or m tio your am b f or h l ads you to th

,
en n n e, e e e e e

b rid e.

Always r m ov a chair or stool that sta ds i t h way

e e n n e

of a lady p assi g v tho gh h is n tir tra g r

, e en u S e an en e s n e

t you
o .

You may ha d a chair to a stra g lady i a hot l

n n e ,
n e ,

or upo a boat ; you m y ha d h wat r if you

n a n er e , see

h erris to o b tai it d at a hot l tabl you may pass

e n ,
a n e e

h ert h dish s e ar you with p r f ct propri ty

e ne ,
e e e .

I this ou try wh r
n v ry oth r m us s tob acco
c n e e e e e an e ,

it may t b am iss to say a f w words s moki g

no e e on n .

“
Dr P rout says Tobacco is co f ss dly f th n e e on e o e
.
,

most vir ul t poiso s i atur Y t such is t h f asci

en n n n e . e e

n ati g i fl u c of his oxious w d that ma ki d

n n
”
en e t n ee ,
n n re

s ort to it i v ry f orm th y n d vis to sur i t

e e e c an e e, en e s

t pif yi g
s u d p r icious ag cy
n an T obacco disord r
e n en . e s

t h assim ilati g fu ctio s i g

e ral but particularly
n n n n en e , ,
a s

I b li v t h assim ilatio f th sacchari pri cipl

e e e, e n o e ne n e .

I hav v r i d d b abl to trac th d v lop m t

e ne e , n ee , e en e e e e e en

o f oxalic acid to t h of tobacco ; b ut that so m e us e e an

a ol g d q ually poiso ous pri cipl (pro b ably of

ou s , a n e n n e

an acid atur ) is g rat d i c rtai i dividuals by

n e , en e e n e n n

its abus is vid t f rom th ir cach tic looks d fro m

e, e en e e ,
a n

t h dark
e d of t gr ish y llow ti t f t h blood
,
a n en e en e n o e .

Th s e r d p c uliar dysp ptic sympto m s som tim

e v e e an e e e es

produ c d by i v t rat s uff taki g w ll k ow ; d

e n e e e n -
n ar e e n n an

I hav m or tha o c s such cas s t rmi at fatally

e e n n e e en e e n e

with m alig a t dis as of t h stomach

n n d liv r Gr at
e e e an e . e

s mok rs alsoe sp cially thos who mplo y hor t pip

, , e e e e s es
3 00 G EN TL EMEN S ’
3 0 0 K or E TIQUE TTE .

an d c 1gar s , a r e said to be l iabl e to ca c ro u

n e s afl e e t io ns
'

of t he lips .
”

pit of such war i g m t with v ry day

Ye t , i n S e n n s e e e ,

You g Am ri ca M iddl ag d Am rica d O ld Am ric

n e ,
e -
e e ,
a n e a

will co ti u to n t h poiso
n ed ma y v us e it i
e n ,a n n e en use n

e xc s A E glish writ g
es . n som v ry good rul
n er 1ve s e e es

for t h tim e d plac wh r m km g may b all w d

e s an es e e s o e o e ,

which I q u ot f th f mok r s e t hi s id
or f th
e us e o s e on s e o e

wat r e .

H y e sa s
“B t what hal l I say of t h frag
u s t w d whic h e r an ee

Ra l igh t aught
e galla t t puff i p m b owls ; o ur n s o n ca ac us

which royal p da t d ou c d
a f amous Cou t r
e n en n e In a
‘
n e

b last which his flatt ri g laur t B J o so ridicul d e n e a e, en n n, e

t p l as hi mast r ; which
o e e Wiv
s d si st r p rot s t
e o ur e s an e s e

g t
1v e s u s e t h dirti st d most
o e b l ha b it ae m an u n s o c Ia e an

c an i dulg i ; of which om fair f vor rs d clar th t

n e n
!

s e a e e e a

t h y lov
e th m ll d th r that th y will v
e e s e ,
a n o e s e ne er

marry i dulg an
( which b y t hn way t h y
er g rally ,
e , e en e

en d i doi g); w hich h

n w n f am v m r pac as on a e o er o e s e

d am g b tt r m th N ah grap h v r d ’
an on e e en an o s e as e e on e

w hich doctor till disput b out d b oy st ill g t i k

s s e a ,
an s e s c

v r ; b t whi h i th l f t h w ary la b or ; t h
i

o e u ‘
c s e s o a eze o e e er e

s uppor t f th ill f d ; th f r sh r of
o e wrough t
-
e e re e e o ve r -

b rai ; t h ns ot h r f gry f e so; t h b e t f

o
. t he an an c 1e s e eas o

e x q uisit ; th xcus of t h idl ; t h compa io of th

e e e e e e e n n e

phil soph r ; d t h t th mus of t h po t I will g

o e an e en e e e . o

ne ith r i t th m dical
e n o t h moral q u tio
e e b ut t h n or e es n a o e

d r amye al mi g l oud I will co t t mys l f f

, c n c . n en e so ar

with ayi g wh t may b said for v rythi g th t

s n a e e e n a c an

bl d cur s m ki d th t i m d r t i it is t
‘

es s an e an n ,
a , n o e a on , a
3 02 GE N LEMEN S B OO K
T
’
or E TI QUE TTE .

g try of last c tury who v r mok d at all S mo k

en en , ne e s e . e

an d wi do t go w ll tog th r Co ff or b r
ne no e e e . ee ee ar e

its b st acco mpa i m nts d t h

e ca o t i toxicat
n e ,
a n e one nn n e,

t h oth r mus t b larg ly i m bi b d to do so

e e e I hav b e e . e o

se rv d amo g you g b ach lor that v ry littl wi

e n n e s e e ne 1S

dru k i th ir cham b rs d that b r i gradually

n n e e ,
a n ee s

taki g its plac Th cigar too is

n e. xcus for risi g e , ,
an e e n

from t h di r tab l wh r th r ladi s to go to

’

e nn e -
e e e e e ar e n o e .

“I a oth r poi t of V w I am i cli d t thi k

n n e n Ie n ne o n
,

that smoki g has co duc d to mak t h soci ty of m

n n e e e e en,

wh alo l ss riotous l ss quarr lsom

en n e, e d v l s , e e e , an e en e s

V tha it was Wh r you g m

1 C IC u S n w b lo w . e e n en no a

co mmo cloud th y w r form rly driv to f arful

n ,
e e e e en a e

co sumptio f wm
n d this i th ir h ads th y w r
n o e , an n e e ,
e e e

r ady d
e d toan
y i i q uit y
r eus e B ut t h pip is t h an n . e e e

b ach lor s wif e Wit h it h’

dur s litud l o ng r
e. e c an e n e o e e ,

an d i t forc d i to l w oci ty i
s no ord r to sh i t
e n o
-

s e n , e un .

With it too t h idl ,

pass ma y
,
hou which
e e c an n an r,

o th rw s h would hav giv

e i e e t t work b ut to x e en , n o o , e

t r a va
g t d vilri
an With it h
e i lo g r r
es. stl s e s no n e e e s

an d i m pati t f xcit m t of y ki d W v
en or e e en an n . e ne er

h ar w of yo u g b lad s issui g i b a d from th i

e no n e n n n s e r

wi to b at t h wat h or distur b t h slum b ri g citiz s

ne e e c e e n en ,

as w did thirty or forty y ar ago wh smoki g w

e e s , en n as

still a rarity ; th y all p fi g har ml ssly i th i e ar e u n e n e r

c ham b rs w B ut t h oth r ha d I for s with

e no .
, o n e e n , e ee

dr ad too t d r all gia c to t h p p to t h d t

e a en e e n e e l e, e e s r uc

tio of good soci ty d t h ab a do m t of t h ladi

n e ,
a n e n n en e es .

N o w o d r th y hat it d ar cr atur s ; t h p p
n e e th
e , e e e e I e IS e

worst rival a wom a hav d it is whos y n c an e , an on e e e es

S h ca o t s cr tch out ; wh impr o

e nn v with g whil
a o es a e, e
 MIS C ELL ANEO U S . 8 03

s he h rs lf d cli s ; who has

e e art which wo m a
e ne an no n

p oss ss s that
e fe , v r w aryi g h d vot ; who
o ne e e n er e ee 18

S il t y t a co mpa io ; c osts littl y t g iv s mu ch

en , e n n e, e e

p l as u
e r ; who lastly
e v r up b raids d al w
,
ays yi ld , n e e , a n e s

t h sa m j oy
e Ah ! this is a pow r f ul rival to wi f
e . e e or

maid d wo d r that at last t h wo m a succo mb

,
a n no n e e n e,

co s ts d rath r tha los h lord or m ast r v

n en ,
a n , e n e er e ,e en

suppli s th hat d h rb with h w f air ha ds

e e e e er o n n .

“Th r rul s to limit this i d ulg c O mus t

e e ar e e n en e . ne

ne v r s m ok
e v ask to s mok i th co mpa y of
e , n or e en e, n e n

t h f air
e If th y k o w tha t i a f w mi ut s you will
. e n n e n e

b ru i g ff to your cigar t h f air will do w ll say

e nn n o — , e e

it gard or
I S In a — to allo w you to bri g it out d
e n, se n an

s m ok it th r e O m ust v r s mok agai i th

e e . ne ne e e, n, n e

s tr ts ; that is i daylight Th d adly cri m m y b

ee ,
n . e e e a e

co mmitt d lik b urglary aft r d ark but t b f or

e , e , e ,
no e e.

O must v r smok i a room i habit d at tim s by

ne ne e e n n e e

t h ladi s ; thus a w ll b r d m
e e who has a w if or i ,
e -
e an e S s

t rs will t fl to smok i t h d g roo m a f t

e ,
no o er e n e 1u 1n -
er

di r O must v r smok i a public plac wh r

nn e . ne ne e e n e, e e

ladi ar or m ight b for i sta c a fl w show or

’
‘

es c e, n n e, o er -

pro m ad O m y s m ok i a railway carriag i

en e . ne a e n -
e n

spit f by laws if
e o has first Obtai d t h co s t of
-

, on e ne e n en

e v ry e pr s t ; but if th r b a l ady th r tho ugh

on e e en e e e e e,

s h giv h
e co s t s m ok
e t
er I i cas s out f
n en , e no . n n ne e o

t h will giv it f ro m good atur

en, s e O m u st e v n e. ne ne er

s mok i a los carriag ;

e n m y ask c d obtai l av
e e on e a an n e e

to s m ok wh r tur i g f ro m a pic i or p dit m

e en e n n -
n c ex e 1 on

an Op carriag O mu st n v r s m ok
en a th eatr
e . ne e e e In e,

on a rac cours i church This last is t p

e -
e , n or n . no , er

haps ,dl c utio I th B lgia hurch you

a n e e ess a n. n e e n c es
 E IQUE TTE
'

’
3 04 G EN TLE ME N S BOOK o r T .

see p l acard n
a mg Ici a mt h p
n oun c d ,
‘
on ne
’
ec e as u

t a b ac must v r mok wh a yb ody sh ow

’
. O ne ne e s e en n s an

obj ctio t i t O must v r s m ok pip i th

e n o . ne ne e e a e n e

s tr ts ;
ee must on e v mok at all i t h fl roo m ne er s e n e ee ee -

O f a hot l O must v mok without co s t i

e . ne ne er s e, n en , n

t h pr s
e c f cl rgym
e en e o d mus t v O ff
a e an , a n on e ne er er a

c igar t y ccl
o siastic
an e e .

“B ut if mok if ou i s t h compa y
e , orof o u ar e e n
y y n

s mok rs d e t w ar your c l oth

,
a n ar e i t h pr s c of
o e es n e e en e

l adi aft r ward you must cha g t h m to mok i

es e s, n e e s e n.

A ho st wh ask you t o mok will g rally o ff r y

s o s e, en e e ou

an old coat for th purpos You must also aft e e .

, er

s m oki g m n t h mouth w ll
,
r se t nd ife possi b l b rush e ou , a , e,

t h t e th You shoul d v s mok i oth r p rso ’

e e . ne er e n an e e n s

hous without l av
e d you houl d e t k l av t
e, an s no as e e o

do so if th r l adi i t h hous
e e ar e Wh you es n e e.
'

en ar e

goi g to smok cigar you hould o ff

n e a t th am S e r on e a e s e ,

t im eto a yb ody pr s t if t cl rgyma

n e en , ry no a e n o r a ve

o ld m Y
an . h uld l w y mok ou s ciga g v t
o a a s s e a r i en o

you wh th r good b ad d v mak e y r mark s

,
e e or ,
a n ne er an e

on it q uality
s

S m oki g r mi d m f pitt m g b ut
n e n t hi is t ll e o S ,
as s s a a

tim es a d i g t m g ha b it I
s d y othi g mo tha
us
,
nee sa n n re n

— v r dulg
ne e it B sid b i g c ars
In e In d tr
. e es e n o e an a o

i
c o us , it is v ry b ad for th h alth e e e

Ch st rfi ld war h
e e e g m t fau l t
ns good 1s s on a a s s In

b r di g t h followi g words , d th s war i gs will

ee n 1n e n an e e n n

b e e qually applicab l to th tud t f ti q u tt i the e e s en O e e e n

pr s t day H says
e en . e

O f th l s r tal t good b r di g i t h pri cipal

e e se en s, ee n s e n

an d m t ss ry o
os t
n e ce ly s it i v ry importa t
a n e, n o on a s e n
3 06 C E N T L E MEN S
’
BOOK OF E Q U E E TI TT .

n d pills ith r t h t or co f f
S e e At di r his wk
e ea ee . nn e a

W d ar disti guish s i ts l f p artic ularly ,as h has m or

n ess n e e e e

to do ; t h h holds hi k if f ork d poo diff r

er e e s n e, ,
an S n e

en tly fro m oth r p opl ats with his k if to t h gr at

e e e, e n e, e e

da g r of his mouth picks his t th with his fork d

n e ,
ee ,
a n

puts his poo which h b S n, i his throat tw ty as e en n en

tim s i to t h dish s agai If h is to carv h a

e , n e e n . e e, e c n

ne v r hit t he joi t b ut i his vai fl t to t thro u gh

e n : , n n e or s cu

th e bo scatt rs t h sauc i v rybody s fac H

n e, e e e n e e
’
e . e

g rally daubs hims lf with so u p d gr as though

en e e an e e,

his apki is com m o ly stuck through a bu tto hol

n n n d n -
e, an

t ickl s his chi

e Wh h dri ks h i f lli bly co u gh
n. en e n , e n a a s

i his glass
n d b spri kl s t h co mpa y
,
an B sid s al l
e n e e n . e e

thi s h has stra g trick s d g stur s ; such as fli g

,
e n e an e e snu n

u
p his os maki
n g fac s
e, putti g his fi g rn i his os e , n n e n n e,

or b lowi g it d looki g aft rwards i hi ha dk rchi f

n an n e n s n e e

so as to mak t h co m pa y sick Hi h ds tro u bl

e e n . s an ar e e

som to him wh h has t m thm g th m d h

e ,
en e no so e 1n e ,
a n e

do s t k o w wh r to put th m ; b ut th y
e no n e e
p e e a re In er

p t
e ua l motio b tw his nb osom d
e his b r ch
e en s ; h an ee e e

do se t w ar hi cloth s
no e d shor t h d o s othi g
s e , an ,
I n ,
e e n n

lik oth r p opl All this I w is t i y d gr

e e e e .
,
o n, no n an e ee

crim i al ; b t it is highly disagr abl d ridiculous i

n u ee e an n

compa y d ought mos t car ful ly to b avoid d by

n ,
a n e e e ,

who v r d sir s to pl as
e e e e e e .

“F rom thi acco u t of wha t you sho u ld

s t do y n no ou
,

may asily j u dg wha t you should do ; d a d att

e e an ue en

t io to th ma rs of p opl f f ashio
n e nne d who hav e e o n , an e

s e en t h world will m ak
e it hab itual d familiar t
, e an o

you .

“Th r is lik W e e wk w rd s e f xpr io d

1s e , an a a ne s o C ess n an
,
 M S ELLAN EO US
I C . 3 07

W ords most car fully to b avoid d ; Su ch f als E

,
e e e as e u

glish bad pro u iatio ld ym g

,
n d co m m o
nc
p n, O sa s, an n ro

v rbs ; whi h
e so m a y proo f s f having k pt b ad
c ar e n o e

an d l w co mpany o F or a mpl if i st ad f sayi g

. ex e, ,
n e o n

that tast s diff r t d that v ry m nhas his w

e ar e e e n , an e e a o n

p culiar
e you sho uld l t ff a prov rb d say That
o n e, e o e ,
an ,

what is ma s m at is a oth r m a s poiso ; or ls

on e n
’
e n e n
’
n e e,

E ryve as th y lik as t h good m said wh h

on e e e, e an en e

kiss d his cow ; v rybody would b p rs u ad d that you

e e e e e e

had v r k pt co mpa y with y b ody abov f ootm

ne e e n an e en

an d hous m aids e .

“Att tio will do all this

en n d without att tio a n en n no
,

thing is to b d o ; wa t of att tio which is r ally wa t

e ne n en n, e n

o f thought ith r folly or m ad ss You should t

,
1 s e e ne . no

o ly hav att tio to v rythi g b ut a qu ick ss of

n e en n e e n , ne

att tio o as to obs rv at o c all t h p opl

en n, s th e e, n e, e e e 1n e

r oo m th ir motio s th ir looks d th ir words d

,
e n , e , a n e ,
an

y t
e wi t hout s t ari g at th m d m i g to
n b b e
)
an s ee n e an O

se rv r This quick d u obs rv d Obs rvatio is f i

e . an n e e e n o n

fi it adva tag i lif

n e n d is to b acq ir d with car ;
e n e , an e u e e

an d ,
th
o n co trary what is call d abs c which i
e n ,
e en e, s

thoughtl ss ss d wa t of att tio about what i

e ne
,
an n en n s

d oi g mak s a m
n ,
so lik ith r a f l or a madma
e an e e e ee n,

that f my part I
, or r al diff r c A fool v
, see n o e e en e . ne er

has thought ; a mad ma has lost it ; d ab s t m n an an en an

is f t h tim without it
or e e, .

I would war you agai st thos disagr abl trickn n e ee e s

an d awkward ss s which m a y p opl co tract wh

ne e , n e e n en

th y you g by t h glig c of th ir par ts d

e ar e n , e ne en e e en , an

ca ot g t quit of th m wh t h y
nn e old ; such as odd e en e ar e

motio s tra g postur s

n , s d u g t l
n e i g e , an n en e e c ar r r a e.
3 08 e E N L E MEN S r
’
B OOK or E QUE E TI TT .

B ut th r i l ik wis e e awkward ss f th m i d that

s e e an ne o e n ,

ought to b d with car m y b

e, an avoid d ; as f e a e, e ,
o r 1n

ta c to m istak am s ; to s p ak of M r What d y ’
s n e, e n e e .
-
e

call hi m or M rs Thi gum or How d y call h is x

-

,
. n
,
-
’
e - -
er , e

c es s w ly awkward e d ordi ary T call p opl by i m an n . o e e

prop titl s d app llatio i

er e an too T b gi e ns s so . o e n a

s tory arratio wh y ou
or n t p rf ct n it d en ar e no e e In ,
a n

ca ot go through with it but

nn f orc d possi b ly t , ar e e , ,
o

t h midd l of it I hav forgott t h r st ’

ay i
‘
s n e e e en e e Is
, , ,

v ry u pl asa t d b u gli g O must b xtr m ly

e n e n an n n . ne e e e e

e xac t cl ar d p p , e i , av rythi g
n sayser S 1 cuou s
,
n e e n on e ,

o th w er t d of t rtai i g i f or m i g oth rs
Is e , 1n s e a en e n n , o r n n e ,

on e o ly tir s nd puzzl th m Th voic a d m a

n e a es e . e e n n n er

o f sp aki g too e nt to b egl ct d ; so m

, ,
a r ep opl no e n e e e e e

a l mos t hut th ir mouths wh th y p ak

S e d mutt en e S e ,
a n er

s o, tha t th y t to b u d rsto d ; oth rs p ak

e ar e n o e n e o e S e so

fast d sputt that t h y b u d rstoo d

”

t t ar e
!

,
a n er , e no o e n e

ne it h r ; som alway p ak
e l oud
e if th y w r s S e as as e e e

t a l ki g to d af p opl ;
n d oth r so low tha t
e e e an e s o n e c an

no t h ar th m e All th s hab itse . awkward d dis e e ar e an

a gr abl ee d to b avoid d b y tt t ; th y
e, an ar e e e a en 1o n e ar e

th edis ti guishi g marks of t h ordi ary p opl wh

n n e n e e, o

hav had car tak of th r ducatio You ca o t

e no e en e1 e n . nn

i magi e h w n c ssary it is t mi d all th s littl

o ne e o n e e e

thi gs ; for I hav s ma y p opl with gr at tal t

n e een n e e e en s

ill r c iv d for wa t f havi g th s t al ts too ; d

-
e e e ,
n o n e e en ,
an

oth rs w ll r c iv d o ly from th ir littl t al ts d

e e e e e ,
n e e en ,
a n

wh hav h d gr at o s ”
o e a no e ne .

N othi g i i wors tast n soci ty than t p at th

s n e e In e o re e e

witticis m s r m rk f a oth r p rso or e if th y w r

a s o n e e n as e e e

y u
o r ow If y n. d c v d i t he l y
ou ar ef 1s o er e n ar c e n o an
310 G EN TLEMEN S B OOK ’
or E TIQUE E TT .

t he car of a oth r p r o or to b oar di g hou or

e n e e s n, a n s e,

hot l you
e , put that am ith r aft r t h am of
c an n e e e e e n e

your corr spo d t or i t h l ft ha d c r r of th

e n en , n e e n o ne e

l tt
e — thus
er

MR J S JONE S . . .
,

Car of M r T C Jo s e . . . ne ,

B osto n,

M ass .

MR . J . S . JONE S ,

B os t o n,

Re v r Hous
e e e . M ass .

If your fri d is i t h army avy put his titl

en n e or n , e be
for his st tio aft r his am thus
e a n e n e,

C AP T L L E WIS U S A . .
, . . .
,

or ,

L IEU ENAN T T ROBER TS U S N

T . . . . .

If you d your l tt r b y privat ha d put th

s en e e a e n , e

na m of t h b ar i t h low r l f t ha d cor r f th
e e e er n e e e n ne o e

en v lop b ut put th am o ly
e e,
“ P olit s f — e n e n ene s o ,
”
or
“K i d s ofn obsol t
ne s d t s d n w t ll
”
ar e e e , an no u e e a a
, .

Writ th dir ctio thus

e e e n

J . L HOLME S
.
, E s a,
Re v r Hous
e e e,

B osto n,

C L C tt s E s q
. . u ,
. M ass .
 ELL AN EO U 3 11 MIS C S .

This w ill l t your f ri d M r Hol m s k o w that M

e en ,
. e , n r .

C tts is i B osto whi h is t h obj c t to b gai d by

u n n
,
c e e e ne

put t i g t h am f th b ar r n a l tt r s t by a
n e n e o e e e o e e , en

pri at ha dv e n .

GU AR AGA N S V ULG AR L AN G U A GE Th r is as
D I T . e e

m u ch co n ctio b tw t h words d th tho ughts as

ne n e e en e an e

t h r is b tw
e e t h tho u ghts
e d t h words t h latt r
e en e an e e e

ar e n o t o ly t h xpr ssio f th f or m r b u t th y hav

n e C e n o e e , e e

a po w r to act upo th so ul d l av t h stai s f

e re -
n e an e e e n o

th ir corr uptio th r A you g m who allo w s him

e n e e. n an

Se l f to pro f a or v ulgar word has t o ly

us e on e ne ,
no n

s h w that t h r is a f oul pot his m i d b u t by t h

o n e e S on n , e

utt ra c f that word h xt ds that spot d i fl m

e n e o e e en an n a es

it t ill by i d ulg c it will soo pollut d r ui t h

, ,
n en e, n e an n e

whol soul B car f ul f your words as W ll as yo u r

e . e e o e

tho ughts If you . co trol t h to g u that im c an n e n e, no

prop r words pro o u c d by it yo u will soo b abl

e ar e n n e , n e e

to co trol th mi d d sav it f ro m corr u ptio Yo u

n e n an e n.

ex ti guish th fi by s moth ri g it or by pr v ti g
n e re e n , e en n

b ad thoughts bursti g o u t i la guag N v r u tt r a n n n e . e e e

word a ywh r which you would b asham d to Sp ak

n e e, e e e

i t h pr s c
n e f t h most r ligious m
e en eT y this
o e e an . r

practic a littl e d you will soo hav com m d fe , an n e an o

yo urs l f e .

D t b k ow
O no as gotist N m is m or
e n n an e . O an e

dr ad d i soci ty or accou t d gr at r bo tha

e e n
“ e n e a e e re
”
n
,

h w hos
e e
“
v ry oth r word is I m or my
e
“ e e
”
e,
”
,
.

S how i t r est i all that oth rs say f th ms l s

an n e n e o e e ve ,

bu t sp ak b u t littl f yo u r w aff airs

e e o o n .

It is q u it as bad to b m r r lat r f s a dal or

e e a e e e e O c n

th e aff airs of your ighb ors A f m al gossip is d ne . e e e

3 12 GEN LEMEN S BOOKT
’
or E TI QUE E TT .

te stab l b ut mal gossip is t o ly d t s tabl b t t

e, a e no n e e e u u

t ly d spica b l
er e e .

A c l b rat d E glish lawy giv

e e e th followi g di
n er es e n

re ctio f you g m ns t ri g i t b usi ss H

or n en en e n n o ne . e

s ay s
“S ELE C T HE K IN D o BU SINE SS TH AT S U S Y OUR
T r IT

N AT UR AL I N C L IN A ON S AN D EMPER A —
ME N T S om mTI T . e en

ar e aturally m cha ics ; oth rs hav e stro g av rsio

n e n e a n e n

t a ythi g lik machi

o n nry d o ; e m has ne ,
a n s on on e an a

n atural tast f occupatio i lif

e d
or on e oth r f n n e , an an e or

an oth r e .

“I v r could succ d
ne e m rcha t I hav tri d ee as a e n . e e

it u succ ssfully s v ral tim s I v r could b

,
n e
—
, e e e . ne e e c on

t t with fix d l y for mi is pur ly sp c ulativ

en a e s a er ,
ne a e e e

d i p it
s os whil th rs just th r v rs ; d th r
1o n , e o e ar e e e e e an e e

for all hould b car ful t l ct tho ccupatio that

e S e e o se e se o ns

s uit th m b st e e .

“L T Y OUR P LE D G E D W OR D EvEB BE SAC RE D —

E Nv . e er

p rom to d
1s e thi g without p of m m a
g it with tnh e r or e

most rigid prompt ss N th g mor valua b l to ne . o In IS e e a

m an i b usi s tha t h
n am of alway d i g h
ne s n e n e s o n as e

a gr s d that to th m om t A strict adh r c t

ee ,
an e en . e en e o

t hi rul g
s m
e th comma d of hal f t h spar
1ve s a an e n e e

fu ds withi th ra g of his ac quai ta c

n n e d circl
n e n n e , an en es

himwi th host of fri ds who may b d p d d po

a en , e e en e u n

1n a n y m rg cy e e en .

“W H A E V ER YOU DC D O W H ALL YO UR M G H T
T IT
’

I
, .

Work at it if c ssary arl y d l at ,

ne aso e d , e an e , In se n an

ou t of s aso t l avi g
e ston, no tur d d v e n a ne un ne ,
a n ne er

d f rri g for i gl hour tha t Which

e e n a S n j st as w ll e c an u e

b d e w
on e Th l d pr v r b i f l l f t uth
no . e d O o e s u o r an
3 14 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK OF E IQUE ’
T TTE .

‘
u d r th harrow Th pla of cou ti g t h chick
n e e .
2
e n
‘
n n e en s

b f o r th y
e e hatch d is
e rror of a ci t dat b t
ar e e ,
’
an e n en e, u

it do s t s m to i mprov b y g
e no ee e a e .

Do N OT S CA ER Y O U R PO WER S
‘ — E gag i TT . n e n on e

ki d of b us i ss o ly d stick to it faithfully u til y

n ne n ,
a n n ou

s ucc d ee u til you co clud to aba do it A

, o r n n e n n . c on

s t a t hamm ri g
n ail will g rally driv it hom
e n on on e n en e e e

at last so that it ,
b cli ch d Wh ma s u di
c an e n e . en a n
’
n

v i d d att tio
e is c t r d
en obj ct his mi d will
n en e e on on e e ,
n

co ti ally b sugg sti g i mprov m ts of valu which

n nu e e n e en
’

e,

would scap him if his brai w r occupi d by a doz

e e n e e e en

diff r t subj c ts at o c M a y a f ortu has lipp d

e en e n e. n ne S e

t hro gh m s fi g rs b y gagi g i too ma y occup

’
u en n e en n n n a

t o c
‘

ti on s a n e .

“E N G AGE P RO P ER EM P LO Y EE S —N v r mploy a m . e e e an

o f b ad habits wh whos habit good en b on e e s ar e c an e

fou d to fill h ituatio I hav g rally b

n lS S x n. e ene een e

t m ly fortu at i havi g faith f ul

re e n d co mp t t p
e n n an e en er

s o s to fill t h r spo sib l situatio s i my b usi ss d

n e e n e n n ne an

a m scarc ly b too grat ful f such a b l ssi g

an c an e e e or e n .

Wh you fi d a m u fit to fill his statio ith r from

en n an n n, e e

i capacity or p culiarity of charact r or dispositio dis

n e e n,

p s with his s rvic s d do t drag t a mis rabl

en e e e , an no ou e e

e xist c i th vai att mpt to cha g his atur It

en e n e n e n e n e.

is utt rly impos sibl to do so You ca ot mak a il k

e
'

e ,
‘
nn e S

purs , th H h b cr at d for som oth r ph r ;

e
’
e . e as een e e e e S e e

d fill it
”
l t hi m fi d
e n an .

If you wish to succ d i ty d b k ow as ee n S O C1e ,

a n e n n a

m an who co v rs s w ll you must cultivat your m m ory

n e e e , e e .

Do t mil d t ll m that this is a gif t t a

no s e an e e ,
n o an c

q m
u 1r e t It ien tru that
. som
‘

p opl hav s atur lly e e e e e n a a

 M S ELLAN EO U S 3 15 I C .

mor r t tiv m m ory tha oth rs b ut thos atur lly

e e en e e n e , e n a

most d fici t m y s tr gth th ir pow rs by c ultiva

e en a en en e e

tio n .

C ultivat th rf this glorio u s faculty by stori g

e, e or e, , n

an d r i si g it with trai s f i mag ry Acc u sto m

e xe c n n o e .

yo s lv s to look at y atural bj t d th
ur e e an n O e c , an e n c on

s id r h w m a y f acts d tho ughts may b asso iat d

e o n an e c e

—
with it h w mu ch f po tic i m ag ry d r fi d m
o o e e an e ne co

bi ti na F ollo wo u t this id a d you will fi d that

on s : e ,
a n n

i m agi atio w hich is too o f

n n, i yo u th p r m itt d to t en n e e

b uild u p castl s i th air t a tl ss as th y e n p e , en n e e ar e u n ro

fit bl will b co m if d u ly
a e, rcis d a so ur f mu ch
e e, e xe e ,
ce o

en joy m t I was l d i to this trai f tho u ght whil

en . e n n o e

walki g i a b a utif u l cou try d s i g b f or m a

n n e n ,
a n ee n e e e

glorio u s rai bow ov r ar hi g t h vall y which lay i

n , e -
c n e e n

f ro t n A d . t m or q u ickly tha its a p p ar

n no ca m e n e an c e , e

t om y r m m bra c e e ad mirabl passag i t h A t

e n
“ an e e n e r

f P o tic P ai ti g wh r i author s ugg sts t h ”

o e th n n ,
e e n e e e

gr at m tal adva tag of x rcisi g t h mi d

e en n all e e e n e n on

s ubj cts by co sid ri g

e ,
n e n

“
What b m ad f th m ! u s e c an e e o e

What r m ark s th y w ill illustrat e e e

What r p r s tatio s th y w ill s rv ! e e en n e e e

What om p ariso th y w ill f ur i h ! c n e n s

”

A d whil th u s thi ki g I r m mb r d that t h i

n e n n , e e e e e n

g i author
e n ou s has i sta c d t h rai bow as fl d i g a n n e e n a or n

vari ty of ill u stratio s

e d capabl i th i m ag ry n , an e, n e e

which it sugg sts of um rous com b i atio s Thus

e ,
n e n n .

H H UES O H R A N BO W
T E F T E I

Ti t d th gr
n e d fl ow ry ba k s f th str am ;
e e e n an e n o e e

Ti g d th wh it blo som s f th ap p l or har ds ;

n e e e s o e e c
3 16 EN LEMEN S BOOK or E IQUE TTE
G T
’
T .

S h d a b aut o u s rad ia
e e th grass ;e n c e on e

V il d th w a i g m oo d t h
e e e i g star ;
n n n an e e ve n n

O v r ar h d th m ist f th w at rf all ;
e -
c e e o e e

R m i d d th l k r
e n e f p a opp os d to turb ul
e oc e -
on o e ce e en ce .

A d illu strat d th m oral that v

n th m ost b autif ul th i gs
e e e en e e n

f arth m ust p ss away

O e a .

E v ry b ook you r a d v ry atural obj ct W

e hich m ts e , e e n e ee

y our V w m y bie t h x ,rcis of m e mory

a b mad
e t e e e e , e e o

f ur ish food b Oth for r fl ctio

n d o v rsatio n joy e e n an c n e , e n

m t for y our w solitary hours d t h m a s f

en o n ,
a n e e n o

maki g you populan soci ty B li v m th m r 1n e . e e e e, e an

who saw it to b sur b ut r ally forgot what it ,

e e, e

l ook d lik who is m t v ry day soci ty will t

” !

e e, e e e 1n e , no

b so u ght aft r as will th m

e wh eb ri gi g m m ory e an , o, n n e

an d fa cy happily bl d d to b ar u po Wha t h s s
n en e e n e ee ,

c an mak v ry o bj ct worthy of r m ark f amiliar d

e e e e e an

i t r sti g to thos who hav t s it

n e e n e e no e en

If you hav l isur mom nts d what ma h e e t! e e ,

a n n as n o

do t co sid r th m as spar atoms of tim to b wast d

no n e e e e e e ,

idl d away i p fitl lou gi g Al ways hav a book

e n ro es s n n . e

w ithi your r ach which you m catch Up at your odd

‘

n
y e ,
a

mi ut s R solv to dg i a littl r adi g v ry day

n e . e e e e n e e n e e ,

i f it i b ut a si gl s t c
s If you n giv fift e en e n e . c an e e en

mi ut s n day i t will b f lt at t h d of th y ar
e a , e e e en e e .

T ho u ght tak up roo m Wh th y

s e
ght th y
no . en e ar e r I e

a ff d a port ab l pl asur which

or may trav l or lab o
e e e, on e e r

w ith without y troubl or i cum b ra c

an e n n e. I

I your i t rcours with oth r m

n n e l t v ry word e e en , e e e

that f a ll fro m yo u r lips b ar th stamp Of p r f c t

s , e e e e

t ruth N r putatio
. b mor
o e via b l tha that n c an e e en e n
318 G EN LEMEN S BOO K OF E QU E E
T
’

TI TT .

t he folli s ig or c or i fi miti f oth rs b ut h will

e , n an e, n r es o e , e
‘

no t v e allo w hi ms lf to s m il at th m H will tr a t
en e e e . e e

t h r ud s t clow with t h sa m
e e asy court sy which h
n e e e e e

w il d xt
or d to t h most poli sh d g tl m a
e en d wil l e e en e n , an

ne v r b y word look or g stur how that h otic s t h

e
, ,
e e S e n e e

faul ts or vulgarity of a oth r P

, l d f mi ty is n e . er s on a e or a

cross s t b y G od d o b ut a d prav d wick d d

en ,
a n n ne e e , e ,
a n

br u tal m could ridicul or v gr t with passi g

an e, e en ee a n

s mil t h u fort u at thus stam p d E v

e e n word n e e . en a or

look of pity will wou d t h s sitiv b ut fra k g t l n e en e, n ,

en e

court sy t h r gard pa d by a f li g m to th com

e ,
e e 1 ee n an e

for t of a crippl or that sy grac which whil it howe, ea e ,

e S s

n o Si g f gn t h od formity shows
s e el n mor d f r c e e , e e e en e

t o t h a ffl ict d
e tha to t h mor fortu at
e on e all n e e n e , ar e

duly appr ciat d d ack owl dg d d wi for th

e e an n e e ,
a n n e

m an wh xt d th m th r sp c t d l ov f all with
o e en s e e e e an e o

wh om h com s i co tact e e n n .

R m mb e that tru wit

e er d d t p erso a l i e n e ve r e s c en s o n

ti s Wh you h ar m tryi g t b f y t “
p

”
e . en e a an n o e un n a

th e exp s of his fri ds or v his m i s you m y

en e en ,
e en en e e , a

f l sur that his h m is forc d d whil it i k s t

ee e u or e ,
a n e S n o

ill atur ca ot ris to t h l v l of tru w it

-
n e, nn e e e e e .

N v r try to mak yours lf out to b a v ry importa t

e e e e e e n .

p rso If y
e n. so r ally your fri ds will soo fi d
o u ar e e , en n n

it out if t th y will t giv you cr dit for b i g so

,
no , e no e e e n ,

b c au you try to forc your fa ci d i mporta c Upo

e se e n e n e n

th m A po m pous f ool tho gh oft s e i t m uch

e .
,
u en e n, s no

lov d h r sp ct d d you may r m mb r that th

e er e e e ,
an e e e e

frog wh tri d to mak hims lf s b ig

o e x di d i e e a as an e , e n

th att m pt
e e .

A v r wit se e e
“
c aid If y d t wi h t b the on e s ou o no s o e
,
 M S ELL AN EO U S
I C . 3 19

mark f sla d ro u s to gu s b t h first to t r a roo m

or n e n e , e e en e ,

d t h last to l av it
”
an e e e .

If you v r t mpt d to sp ak agai st a wo ma

ar e e e e e e n n,

thi k fi t Suppos h w r my sist r

n rs
l Yo u e s e e e e
”
c an

ne v r gai a ythi g by b ri gi g your voic agai st a

e n n n n n e n

wo m a v though h m y d s rv co t mpt d
n, e en s e a e e e n e ,
a n

your f orb ara c m y h m th i to a simi lar sil c

e n e a S a e o
‘

er s n en e.

It is a cowardly to gu that will tak a w m a s am n e e o n

’
n e

u po it to i jur h ; though m a y m do this wh

n n e er n en , o

—
would f ar b l t ly b f id t sp ak agai st a
e , a so u e e a ra ,
o e n

m or that sam woma had h a ma ly m to pro

an , e n, s e n ar

t th
ee er .

I agai quot from th c l b rat d L ord Ch st rfi ld

n e e e e e e e e ,

who says
“It is go d b r di g alo thato pr poss s p opl
-
ee n ne c an e e s e e

i your favour at first sight mor tim b i g

n c ssary , e e e n ne e

to discov r gr at r tal ts This good br di g you

e e e en .
-
ee n ,

k ow do s t co sist i low b ows d formal c r m o y ;

n , e no n n an e e n

b ut i n asy civil d r sp ctful b haviour Y

an e , , a n e e e . ou

will tak car th r f or to a sw r with co mplaisa c

e e, e e e, n e n e,

wh y en pok to ; to plac yours lf at th lo w r

o u ar e S en e e e e

en d of t h tabl u l ss b id to go high r ; t dri k firs t

e e, n e e o n

to th lady of t h hous
e d xt to t h mast r ; t to
e e , an ne e e no

ea t awk wardly or dirtily ; t to sit wh oth rs sta d ; no en e n

an d to do all thi with air of complaisa c s d t an n e , an no

with a grav sour look as if y did it all u willi gly

e, , ou n n .

I do t m a a illy i p d sm il that f l hav wh

no e n S , n S 1 1 e, ee s e en

th y would b civil ; but air of s sibl good hu mor

e e an en e -
.

I hardly k ow a ythi g so dif ficult to attai or so

n n n n, ne

c e s s ar
y to poss ss as p rf ct good br di ge; which ,i e e -
ee n s

e qually i co ist t with

,
n till fo mality d imp ti
ns en a s r , a n er
3 20 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK ’
or E QUE TE
TI T .

n en t forward ss d awkward b ashful ss A li ttl

ne ,
a n an ne . e

c r mo y is o f t
e e n c ssary ; a c rtai d gr of fir m s
en n e e e n e ee ne s

is absolut ly so ; d e outward m od sty is xtr m ly

an an e e e e

b co m i g ; t h k wl dg of th world d your w
’

e n e no e e e ,
a n o n

o b s rvatio s must
e d alo
n , t l l y th prop
, a n ne c an e ou e er

q ua titi s of ach
n e e .

“I m tio d t h g en ral rul s of commo ci ility

ne e en e e n v ,

which who v r do s t o b s rv will pass fo r a b ar d

, e e e no e e, e ,
a n

b e as u w lco m n i co m pa y ; th r is hardly
e e as on e , n n e e

an
y b ody b rutal ough ot to a sw r wh
en th y n
‘

n e en e ar e

S pok tb B ut it i t ugh t to b rud ; you

en . s no en o no e e

s ho ld b xtr m ly V l d disti guish d f you

u e e e e Cl l , an n e or r

good b r di g Th firs t p pl of this good b r di g

ee n . e r 1n C I e ee n

1 s v r to say ythm g that you thi k

ne e an b disagr n c an e ee

a bl t e y b ody
o ani compa y ; b ut t h co n
ntrary y n , o n e ,
ou

s houl d d vo t y what wil l b agr a b l to t h m ;

en ea r o sa e ee e e

an d tha t i asy d tural ma r without m i g

n an e an na nne , see n

t o t dy for complim ts Th r i l ik wis suc h

s u en . e e s e e a

t hi g n fl l ook
a s a e 1v d rud look ; d you houl d ,
a n a e an S

l ook civil w ll as b ; for if whil you

,
a s e y g e so
,
e ar e s a In

a civil thi g y l ook gruff d surly

n , ou E glish an ,
as n

b umpki do o b ody wil l b o b lig d t oyou f

ns , n civility e e or a

th t s m d to com
a ee eu willi gly If you hav cc e so n n . e o a

s io t co tradict y b ody to t th m right f rom

n o n an , o r se e a

mistak it would b v ry b rutal to y Th t i t I

e, e e sa ,
‘
a s no s o,

k w b tt
no Y e t
er , o r b ut y hould y with
ou a r e c u ou s sa a

c vi il l k I b g y
'

oo p
,
d I b
e li y m i
ou rt k or ar on , e eve ou s a e, ,

If I may ta ke the li ber ty .

f
o c on tr a di c tin
g y ou , I be li eve
though you may k o w thi g b tt
i t i s s o a n d s o ; f or , n a n e er

th o th p opl y t it is v ry shocki g t t ll th m
an er e e, e e n O e e so

d i c tly with ut s m thi g t s ft

re it ; b t m b
o o e n o o en u re en er
,
q !
 G EN TLEMEN S BOOK OF E QUE TE ’
TI T .

w hi h cought t b h m d p f ; k p b ut cl a of
one o e as a e ee e r

th m d you m y go a ywh r without f ar or co c r

e ,
a n a n e e e n e n.

I hav k ow so m p opl who f ro m f li g t h pai

e n n e e e, , ee n e n

an d i of this m i h t hav rush d

n c o n ve nl e n c e s a u va s e on e, e e

i to t h oth r xtr m
n e d tur d i m p u d t
e e e e, an ne en , as

coward s so m tim s gro w d sp rat f rom t h xc ss of

e e e e e e e e

da g r ; bu t this too is car f lly to b avoid d th r

n e e u e e , e e

b i g thm g mor g rally shocki g tha i mp u d

e n no e ene n n en c e .

Th m di u m b t w
e e th s t w xtr m s m arks o u t t h
e e en e e o e e e e

w ll br d m ; h f l hi m s lf fi m d asy all
e -
e an e ee s e r an e In

comp ; m od st
an 1 e switho u t b g bash f
1S ul d st a d y e e 1n ,
a n e

W th1 t b g mp d t if h is a stra g r h obs rv s

ou e 1n 1 u en e n e , e e e ,

with car t h m a rs d ways f th p opl most

e, e nn e an o e e e es

t m d at that plac
ee e d co f or m s to th m with com e , an n e

p l a l s an c e .

Flatt e ry
alw ays i b ad tast If you say mor i
IS n e . e n

a p rso s pra s tha is d s r v d you t o ly say

e n
’
1 e n e e e ,
no n

what is f l b t you mak oth rs d o u bt t h wisdo m of

a s e, u e e e

y o u r judg m t O p palpabl flatt ry

en will b . en, e e e re

gard d b y thos to Who m it is addr ss d as

e i s ult
e e e an n .

I your i t rco u rs with ladi s you will fi d that t h

n n e e e , n e

d licat co m pli m t f s ki g th ir
e e t y sho w i g en o ee n e s o c 1e , n

your pl as u r t e d hoosi g f s u bj cts f o v rs a

e In 1 , a n c n or e o c n e
’

tio n oth r th m s tha t h w ath r dr ss or th op ra

,
e e e n e e e , e , e e ,

will b m or ap pr iat d by wo m f s s tha t h

e e ec e en o en e, n e

m or a w kward co m pli m t f Op
e words or g stur s of en o en e e

admiratio n .

N r m t t t h cc triciti s f oth r m
eve 1 1 a e v e e en e o e en, e en

though thos m hav t h high st g i u s to cus th

e en e e e en ex e e 1r

o dditi s E c tri ity is at t h b st i bad tast ; b u t

e . c en c , e e ,
n e

an — n —
i mitatio of it s co d ha d oddity is d t stabl e n n e e e .
 MISC ELL ANEOU S . 323

N v r f ig
e abstractio i so i ty If you hav
e e n n n c e . e

m att rs f i m p orta
e o w hi h r all y o upy yo u r m i d
nce c e cc n ,

an d pr v t yo u f ro m p ayi g att tio to t h pro p r

e en n en n e e

e tiqu t f so ci ty stay at ho m till yo u r m i d is l s

e te o e , e n e s

pr o u pi d Ch st rfi ld says
e cc e . e e e

“What is co m m o ly all d abs t m is com n c e an en an ,

mo ly ith r a v ry w ak or a v ry a ff ct d m ; b u t
u e e e e , e e e an

b h w hi h h will h is I m s u r a v ry disagr abl

e e c e , e , a e, e ee e

m an i mp y ~
n co H f ails i all t h co mm o
an . ffi s f e n e n O ce o

civility ; h s m s t to k ow thos p o pl to day

e ee no n e e e -

w hom y st rday h e app ar d to liv i i tim acy with

e e e e e n n .

H tak s
e p art ie t h no g ral co v rsatio ; b unt e en e n e n
, o n

t h co trary br aks i to it f ro m ti m to ti m
e n ,
e w ith so m n e e, e

start f his w o if h wak d f ro m a dr a m

o n, as This e e e .

( as I said b f or ) is a s u r iedi atio ither f a m i d e n c n, e e o n

SO w ak that it is
e t abl to b ar abov obj ct at
no e e e on e e a

ti m ; or so aff t d that it w o uld b s upp os d to b

e ec e , e e e

wholly gross d by d dir ect d to so m v ry gr at

en e ,
a n e , e e e

an d i mporta t obj ts S i Isaac N w to

n Mr L o k
ec . r e n, . c e,

an d (it m y b )fi or six m or si t h cr atio f

a e ve e, nce e e n o

th e w orld m y hav had a right to abs

,
a f ro m that
e en ce,

i t s tho ught whi h t h thi gs th y w r i v stigati g

n en e c e n e e e n e n

r q uir d But if a you g m a d a m f th world

e e . n an , n an o e ,

who has s u ch avo atio s to pl ad will claim d

no c n e ,
an ex

i
erc s e that right f abs c i co m pa y his pr t d d o en e n n
,
e en e

right sho uld i my mi d h t ur d i to ,

n l t y n , e ne n a n 1n v o u n a r

abs c by his p rp t u al x l u sio o u t f co mpa y

en e, e e e c n o n .

Ho w v r f rivolo u s a co mpa y m y b still whil yo u

e e n a e, , e

ar e a m o g th m do t how th m by yo u r i att tio

n e ,
no S e ,
n en n,

that yo u thi k th m so b u t rath r ta k th ir to

n e d e e e n e , an

co form i om d gr to th ir w ak ss i st ad of
n
,
n s e e ee, e e ne ,
n e
324 G EN TLEMEN S BOO K ’
or E TIQUE TTE .

m a i f sti g your co t m pt for th m Th r i nothi g

n e n n e e . e e s n

t hat p opl b ar mor i m pati tly or forgi v l ss t ha

e e e e en , e e , n

co t mpt ; d
n e ju ry is much soo r f orgott tha
an an In ne en n

an i sult If th r f or you wo uld rath r pl as tha

n .
,
e e e, e e e n

o ff d rath r b w ll tha ill spok of rath r b lov d

en , e e e n -
en , e e e

tha hat d ; r m m b r to hav that co sta t att tio

n e e e e e n n en n

a b out you which fl t t v ry m a s littl va ity ; d

,
a er s e e n
’
e n an

t h wa t of which mor i yi g his prid v r fail

e n
by t f ,
n e, n e e s

to e xcit his r s t m t or t l ast his ill will F

e e en en , ,
a e ,
. or

i sta c most p opl (I might say all p opl )hav t h i

n n e : e e e e e e r

w ak ss s ; th y hav th ir av rsio s d th ir lik i g

e ne e e e e e n an e n s

to such or su h thi gs ; so t hat if yo u w r to J gh at

c n , e e au

a m for h
an i t cat 1s ch s (which
a ve r s o n
’

o a ,
o r ee e, ar e

comm o tipathi s )or by i att tio

n an d glig c
e , ,
n en n an ne en e,

t l t th m co m i his way wh r you could pr v t it

o e e e n ,
e e e en ,

h would i t h first cas

e ,
n thi k hi m s lf i s ult d d
e e, n e n e ,
a n ,

m th s co d light d
e e d would r m m b r b oth
n , S e ,
an e e e .

Wh r as your car to procur for him what h lik s d

e e e e e e , an

to r m ov fro m him what h hat s shows him that h is

e e e e , e ,

a t l ast e obj ct f your att tio ; fl tt his va ity

,
a n e o en n a er s n ,

an d m ak es him possibly m or your fri d tha a m or, ,

e en n e

i mporta t s rvic would hav do

n e With r gard t
e e ne. e o

wo m att tio s still b lo w th s

en, en nc ssary d e e e ar e ne e ,
a n ,

b y t h custo m of t h world i som m asur d

e e ,
n e e e ue, a o

cordi g to th laws of good b r di g

n e ee n .

I gi m g
n t rtai m t to your fri ds w hil y
v an e n e n en en , e ou

avoid xtravaga t xp ditur it is your duty to plac

e n e en e, e

b f or th m th b st your purs will p r mit you t p

e e e e e e e o ur

chas d b sur y
e , an hav pl ty A bu da c with
e e ou e en . n n e

ou t p fl
su i ty d good
er q uality
u withou
, t
an xtravaga c e n e,

are your b s t rul s for t rtai m t

e e an e n e n en .
)
!
0
O [0
3
EN LEMEN S B OOK or E QUE T E
G T
’
TI T .

Gi t h y tho u ghts to gu !

ve no n e,

N or any u ro
p p ort i o d tho
n u g ht hi t ne s ac .

B tho u f am iliar b u t b y
e m s ulgar, no e an v

Th f ri ds tho u h st
e en d th ir ad op ti o tri d a , an e n e

G r p p l th m to th y so ul w ith h oo k s f st l
a e e o ee

B t do
u t d ull th y p lm w ith
no t rt i m ts a en e a n en

Of a h fl d g d om rad B war
’ ’
e w h t h d
c ne a c , u n e c e . e e

Of tra to a quarr l b ut b g
en n ce e : , e 1n In ,

B ar i t that t h
e p p os r m y b w ar e Of th e a e e o ee .

Gi ry m thi
ve e ve b u t f w th y oi ;
an n e e ar , e v ce

Tak a h m s s ur b u t r s r t h y j u d g m t
’
e e c an c en e, e e ve en .

C ostly th y hab i t as t hy p urs b y e c an u ,

B t u t p
no d i f
exa y; r i h t gaudy
re ss
’
n nc c , no ,

F th ap p r l f t p ro laim s th m
or e a e o c e an .

N eith r a borrow r a l d r b
e e n or en e e

F loa f t los s both its lf d f ri d ;

or n o e e an en

A d b
n w m g d ulls t h
or r o dg f h usba dry “ e e e o n

Thi s abo all T thi ow s lf b tru ;

— ve , o ne n e e e

A d i t m ust f ollow as t h
n g h t t h d y , e n1 e a ,

Tho u a st t th
c n b f al to y m
no en e se an an .

It is b y m a s d sirabl to b always gag d i

,

no e n e e e en e n

t h s rio u s pursuits f li f
e e Tak ti m f pl as u r d o e. e e or e e , an

you will fi d your work progr ss fast r f so m

n e es e or e re

cr atio L ord Ch st rfi ld says

e n. e e e :

“I do t r gr t t h ti m that I pass d i pl as r s
no e e e e e n e
; u e

t h y w r s aso abl ; th y w r t h pl as u r s f yo u th
e e e e n e e e e e e e o
,

an d I joy d th m whil you g If I had t I sho uld

en e e e n . no ,

probably h v ov rvalu d th m w as w
a e v ry pt t
e e e no , e ar e e a o

do what w do t k ow ; b u t k w m g th m as I do I
e no n no e ,
'

k ow th i r r al valu
n e d how m uch th y
e g rally e , an e ar e en e

o v rr t d N or d I r gr t t h tim th t I h v pass d
e a e . o e e e e a
‘

a e e
 M S ELL AN EO U S
I C . 327

i n b u s m e s s , f o r t he sa m r aso ; thos wh e o ly t h e n e o see n e

o utsid f it im gi it has hidd har m s w hi h th y

e o ,
a ne en c , c e

p a nt a f t r ; e d othi g
an b u t a q u
n ai ta n u d iv c n n c e c an n ece e

th m I wh hav b
e .
,
o
’

b hi d t h s s both f
e een e n e c en e , o

p l e as u r d
e an b u si ss d hav s ne all t h ,
a
pnri gs d e e en e S n an

p u l l i es f thos
o d coratio s
e w hi h asto
e ish d da nl c n an zz e

th e au di r tir
en c e , t o ly w itho u t r gr t b u t w ith
e e, n o n e e ,

c o t t m t d satis f a tio Bu t w hat I do d v r

n en en an c n. ,
a n e e

shall r gr t is t h ti m w hi h w hil yo u g I lost i

e e , e e c ,
e n , n

m r i dl ss d i do i g othi g This is t h m
e e en e ,
a n n n n n . e co

m on ff ct f t h i co sid ra y f youth agai st whi h

e e o e n n e c o ,
n c

I b g yo u w ill b mO t ar f ully u po yo u r g u ard Th

e e s c e n . e

valu f m o m ts wh ast p is i mm s f w ll m
e o en , en c u ,
en e, I e e

p loy d
e ; i f thro w a w ay th ir loss
n is irr o rabl
, e ec ve e .

E ry m o m t m y b p t to so m
ve en a d tha t w ith
e u e u s e , an

m u h m or pl as ur tha if u m ploy d Do t im
c e e e n ne e . no

agi that by t h mploy m t f ti m I m a

ne e e u i en o e, e n an n n

terr u
p t d a e
pp li a t io to s rio
c u s st u di s n N o ; pl aseu r s e . e e

ar e , at pro p r ti m s both as c ssary d u s f ul ;

e e ,
ne e an as e

th y f ashio d f or m y f th w orld ; th y t ach you

e n an ou or e e e

chara t rs d ho w yo u th hu m a h art
c e ,
an S t e n e In I s un

guard d mi ut s But th r m mb r to m ak that

e n e . en e e e e us e

o f th m e I hav k o w m a y p o pl f ro m la i ss f
. e n n n e e, z ne o

m i d go thro gh both pl as u r
n ,
u d b u si ss w ith q u a l
e e an ne e

i att tio ;
n en nith r joyi g t h
ne e en doi g th n e one n or n e

oth r ; t hi ki g t h m l m f pl as u r b au s
l

e n n e s e ve s en o e e, ec e

th y w r mi gl d w ith thos w h w r
e e e n e d m f b e o e e , an en o u

i
s n es s , b au s th y had b usi ss to do thou gh th y
ec e e ne , e

did t do it What v r yo u do do it to t h p ur p os ;
no . e e , e e

do it thoro u ghly t s up rfi ially App f d i ,

no e c . r o on s s ez

go to t h botto m f thi gs A ythi g half do or

e o n . n n ne
32 8 GE N LEME N S BOOK
T
’
or E Q UE E
TI TT .

half k ow m y mm d
n ith r do
n , 1 S , In k ow ,
n e e ne n or n n

a t all N ay wors it o f
. m isl ads Th r is hardly e, t en e . e e

an
y p lac or y co m pa y w
e h r you may an t g n e e no a1 n

k owl dg i f you pl as ; alm ost v ry body k no w

n e e, e e e e s

som thi g d is glad to talk upo that

e on e n ,
a thi g
n n on e n .

S k ee d you w ill fi d i
an this world as w ll as i t h n , n e n e

ne xt S v rythi g ; q i to v ry thi g ; d
. ee e e n 1n u 1r e n e e n an

you m y xcus your curiosity d th qu stio s y

a e e ,
a n e e n ou

as k which oth r w is m ight b thought i m p rti

,
e t by e e e n en ,

y our m a r f aski g th m
nne f m ost thi
o gs d p d n e or n e en a

gr at ed al u po t h[
m ea r A f xa m pln I m e nne . s, or e e, a

f
a r aid tha t I a m very tr ou ble s om e w i th my q u es ti on s bu t
n o bo dy c a n i nf or m me so w e ll as
y ou ; or so m thi g e n of

that ki nd .
”

T he sam author p aki g of

e ,
S e n t he e vils of p da try e n ,

s ays
“E
v ry c ll e cy d v ry V rtu has its kindr d
e ex e n a n e e i e e
,

v1c e or w ak ss ; d if carri d b yo d c rtai b ou ds

e ne an
,
e e n e n n ,

i ks i to
s n or t h oth r G rosity O f t ru s i t
n on e e e . en e en n n o

p q ro o o m y i to avaric
Io n , e c co u r g i tonrash s n e, a e n ne s,

c autio t ti midity ; d so
n 1n i so much that I b e
o an on n ,

l i v th r is m or j u dg m t r q u ir d f t h prop
e e, e e e en e e or e er

co d u c t f o u r virt u s tha f avoidi g th ir opposi t

n o e ,
n or n e e

v1 c e s V i i i t tr u light
. d f orm d that i t
c e, n s e ,
IS SO e e ,

s ho ks u s at first sight d w o u ld hardly v r s duc

c , a n e e e e

u s, if it did t at first w ar t h m ask f so m virtu

no e e o e e.

Bu t virt u is i its l f so b autif ul t hat it char m s us t

e ,
n e , e ,
a

first sight ; g g s u s mor d m or upo f urth r en a e e an e n e ac

q u a t a ; d as with oth r b auti s w thi k xc s

in nce an , e e e , e n e e s

m p ossibl i t is h r that judg m t i c ssary to ‘

i e, e e en s ne e ,

mod ra t d dir ct t h ff cts f

e e an xc ll t f I e e e e o an e e en c au s e
33 0 G E N LEMEN S BOOK OF E QUE E
T
’
TI TT .

ex l usiv i t im acy w ith th m Sp ak f th m o d r

c e n e . e O e e ns

Withou t co t m pt d f t h a ci ts witho u t idolatry ;

n e ,
an o e n en

j u dg th m all by th ir m rits bu t t by th ir ag s ;
e e e e , no e e

d if you happ t hav E lz vir l i i yo u r

O

an en o e an e c as s c n

pock t ith r ho w it
e , ne m tio it e S n or en n .

S o m gr at s holars m ost absurdly draw all th ir

e e c , , e

m a i m s both f
x p u bli d privat lif f ro m w hat th y
,
or c an e e, e

call p arall l cas s i t h a i t a u thors ; witho u t

e e n e nc en c on

sid i g that i
er n th first plac th r v r w r si
,
n e e, e e ne e e e, n ce

th cr atio f t h w orld t w cas s xactly p arall l ;

e e n O e ,
o e e e

an d i th
,
n t plac that th r e v r w a cas
n ex e, e e ne e as e

stat d or v k o w by y historia with v ry

e ,
e en n n, an n, e e on e

of its c rc u m sta c s ; w h ich how v r o u ght to b k o w

i n e , e e , e n n

i ord r to b r aso d fro m R aso u p o t h cas

“

n e e e ne . e n n e e

its l f d t h s v ral m m t
e , an that att d it d
e e e rcu s an c e s en ,
a n

act accordi gly ; b u t t f ro m t h au thority f a i t

n no e o n c en

po ts or hi t
e T ak t yo u r co sid ratio if
s or 1a ns . e 1n o n e n,

you pl as cas s s m i gly a alogous ; b ut tak th m

e e, e ee n n e e

as h lps o ly t as g u id s
e n ,
n o e .

Th r is a oth r s p i s f l ar d m
e e n wh tho u gh
e ec e o e ne en o,

l ss dogm ati al d s u p rcilio u s

e c t l s i m p rti
an t e ,
a re no es e nen .

Th s t h co m m u icativ
e e ar e d shi i g p da ts w h
e n e an n n e n , o

ador th ir o v rsatio
n e w ith wo m
c n by happy
e n , e ve n en,

quotatio s f G r k d L ati n O d wh hav co tract d

ee an n an o e n e

su h a f am iliarity w i th th G r k d R o m a a u thors
c e ee an n ,

that th y call th m by c rtai a m s or pith ts d oti g

e e e n n e e e en n

i tim a y A ld Ho m r ; that ly g Hora ;

n c . s, O e s ro ue ce

M i st ad f Virgil ; d N
ar a, n e i st ad f O vid
O an a s o, n e o .

Th s e e o f t im itat d by o co m bs w h ha
ar e en e c x o ve no

l ar i g at all but who hav got so m am s d so m

e n n ,
e e n e an e

s craps f t authors b y h art which t h y im p

O a n cl e n e , e ro
 M S ELL AN EO U S 331 I C .

p rly d i m p rti tly r tail i all co mpa i s i hop s

e an e n en e n n e ,
n e

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n or c .
,
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t h a u satio
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n o e n on on e n
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o f g 1 t h oth r
n or an c e on bstai f ro m l ar d ost ta e e , a n e ne en

tio S p ak th la gu ag f t h co m pa y that yo u
n. e e n e o e n ar e

in
p ak it S p u r ly
e d u lard d with y oth r e ,
an n e an e .

N v r s m wis r
e e ee m or l ar d th t h p o pl yo u
e n or e e ne an e e e

w ith W ar y o u r l ar i g lik yo u r w at h i a ”

ar e . e e n n , e c ,
n

pri at p oc k t ; d do t pull it o u t d stri k it

v e e an no an e ,

m r ly to sho w that yo u hav

e e If y ask d e On e . ou ar e e

What lock it is t ll it b u t do t proclaim it hourly

’
O c ,
e ,
no

an d u ask d li k t h wat h m a
n e ,
e e c n.

Up o th whol r m m b r that l ar i g(I m a

n e e, e e e e n n e n

Gr k d Ro m a l ar i g) a m ost u s f ul d c s
ee an n e n n 1s e an ne o

sary or a m t whi h i t is sha m f ul t to b m ast r f ;

n en , c e no e e O

b ut at t h sa m ti m m ost a f ully avoi d thos rrors

,
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an d ab u s s w hi h I ha m e tio d d whi h too f t

c ve en ne ,
an c O en

att d it R m mb r too that gr at m od r k o wl dg

en . e e e , ,
e e n n e e

is still m or c ssary tha a ci t ; d that you h d

e ne e n n en an a

b tt r k o w p r f tly t h pr s t tha t h ld stat f

e e n e ec e e en , n e O e o

t h world ; tho ugh I wo u ld hav you w ll acq u ai t d wi t h

e e e n e

b oth .
”

If you poor you m st d priv yo urs l f f t of

ar e ,
u e e e O en

t h pl as u r
e f e scorti g ladi s to rid t h p ra or
e o e n e e, e O e ,

oth r t t m m t ,b a u s it is u d rstood i so i ty
e en er a en s ec e n e n c e

that i th s as s a g tl m a pays all th p s s

,
n e e c e , en e n e ex en e

for both d i y
,
anm rg y yo u m y find yo u r bill
an e e en c a n

for c arriag hir s upp rs bo u qu ts or oth r u f or s

e e, e ,
e ,
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d m a ds gr at r tha yo u a ti ip at d
e n , e e n n c e .

S hu t h card tabl
n E v t h f ri dly gam s m
e e. en e en e co

m i on m ty for m all stak s ,

n so e b st avoid d Th y
, s e a re e e . e
332 GEN TLEMEN S BOOK OF E QUE
’
TI TTE ;

f d th
ee e l ov e gamb li g d you will fi d that th
Of n , an n is

l ov i f o
e, n c acq u ir d is th hard st c urs t g t rid ff
e e ,
e e e o e O .

It is i n bad tast tho ugh f t do to t u r ov r t h

e, O en n e, n e e

cards on a tabl wh you

e, encalli g If your host or
ar e n .

host ss fi
e n ds you so doi g it may l ad th m to suppos
n , e e e

you valu e th m mor for th ir c q uai ta c s tha th m

e e e a n n e n e

se lve s .
2 L IST O F B O O KS PU BLIS H E D BY G G . . EVA N S .

ART H UR S H O M E LIBRARY
’ ‘

ll wi g f
[t t d w i th fi
Th e f vo um es l
t ai n n e ar 5 0 0 a g e s ea c , a n d ar e i u s ly p h ll
M B d
n ou r c on
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h yh
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S bb t h S h l
ave
so s e ar a e
Lb
.

a a c o o , an d o t e r h
i r ar i e s , a n d r e c o n s i e r e
g o n e o f th e be s t d d
s e r i e s o f t h e Au t o r ! h .

T H REE ERAS I N W O M AN S LIFE ’

.

C o n t ain ing Maide n W if e ,

an d M o the Clo th 1 2 m 0 r. , .
, w ith Mez
z o t in t e n gr av in g . Pi r c e,

h
T i s, b y m an d d M A th b t w k
y , 1 s c o n si er e r. r ur s
’
es or .

T ALE S OF M ARRIE D LIFE .

Co n t ai n i n g Lov d H b d
e rs Sw t h t
an us an s, ee e ar s an d W i ve s , an d
M ar r i e d an d Si gl C l t h I m w ith M
n e. o ,
z
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o ., ez z o t in t e n gr avin
g .

Pi r ce

“In h
t i s vo l ume m ay b e o u n f d s om e va u ab el l hi n ts f or w i ve s an d ha s.
ban d s, a s w e ll as f or t h e o u n g ”
y .

T ALE S OF RE AL LIFE . s

Co n t ai nin
g B ell M ar t i n , P idr e an d P i ip e ,
r nc l M ar
y Ellis F , am i ly
P ri de d A ic e an l M l ill
e v e. Clo t h, 1 2 m o .
, w it h M e z z o t in t
‘
’

e n r avi n
g g r ic e . P
xp i
“T h i s v o u me iv e sl f l l i f b y m y wh f d
g th e e er en c e o r ea e an o o un n ot
th i i d l
”
e r ea .

T HE M ART Y R W IFE
C o i i g M d li
nta n n h H i T h M a y W if
a e d R i
ne, t e e r e ss, e rt r e an u ne d
Gm a Cl h m w i h M
e st e r . i g i got , Iz o .
, t ez z o t n t en r av n .

“C t i l k h f h illi g i
o n a ns s ever a t s e tc es o t r n ntere s .
”

T HE AN G EL AN D T HE D EM O N .

A B o ok o f Sta rt li g I
n n t e re s t . A han ds o m e I z m o v o um e , l
I thi x iti n g s t or y Mr Ar t h u r k h ld f h d
h as ta t
’
e r s a t te n t i on
p d k p hi m b b d
n s e c en o o e re a
lly , .

wi t h m a th or e an u s u a vi g o r o u s g r a s , an ee s a s or e t o th e end
of th e l
vo um e .
”

T HE W AY TO PRO SP E R,
AN D OT H E R T A LES . Cl ot h , I z mo ., w it h en
g r av mg . Pi r ce $1 . 0e

TR U E RICHE S ; OR W E ALT H W I T HO U T W I N G S
Am) O T H ER T A LES
!

. Clo th , 12 m m , w i th Mez z o t m t e n r avi n

g g.

Pr ic e ,
 L IST OF B K OO S B
P U L ISH E D BY G. G. EVA N S .
3

T HE YO UN G LAD Y AT HO M E .

A Se rie s of H o me S t o r i e s f o r Am er ic an W o m e n . I z mo .

I L
T R A S AN D C O N FE SSIO N S OF A
HO U EK EEP S
E R .

l
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Wi th 14 I
Spiri t e d llu s t r a t i o n s . 12 m0 .
, c o t h. P r cei
Th e b
r a n g e o f s u j e c ts i n t i s h b k b
e m r a c e t h e gr a v e a n d i n s t ru c t i v e , a!

bl L dy d f l
oo
Web a s t h e a gr e e a e a n d a m u s i n g N0 am i i ar w i t t h e tr i a s h l
p pl x f l
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H k p
.

an d e i ti e s i n c i e n t t o d
ou s e e e i n g , c a n a i to r e c o g n i z e m an o f h er y
xp h p
er

own e e r i e n c e s , f o r e v er i c t ur e e r e r es en te yp d b
h a s e e n d r a w n r o m lif e f .

T HE W IT HERE D HEART .

W it h fine M e z z o t in t F r o n tis
p i ece . 12 m Cl t h
o ., Pio . r ce

h k
T i s w o r h as g o n e t r ou g s evera h
e i t i on s i n h
ng an , a t ou
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li s h e d b u t a s o r t ti m e , a n d h as h a d t h e m o s t fl a t t e r n n o t c e s r o i g i f m h t e
En g i s l hP r ess .

ST EP S T O W ARD HEAV E N .

A Se r ie s o f Lay Se r m o ns for C t i th G o nve r s n e r e at Aw ake ning .

12 mo .
, l
c o th ric e. P
T HE HAND BUT N O T T HE HE ART ;
O R, L FE T I RIA L S o r
J Es s IE LO R IN G . I z mo l
c o t h. Pi
r c e,

G OO D T I M E CO MIN G T HE .

L g ar m e wi h fi M
12 i
o F o i pi Pi t ne ez z o t nt r nt s ec e. r c e,

LE AV E S F RO M T HE B OO K O F H UM AN LIFE .

L g ar e m W i h 3 ill
Iz
i o. d l pl P i t 0 u st r at o n s a n st e e at e . r ce

“I i l d
t m f h b
nc u h m k h f h h
es so e o t e est u or ou s s etc es o t e au t or.
”

HE ART HI ST O RIE S AN D LIFE P IC T URE S .

Ir m oCl h P i ot . r ce

I n p p i h
th e lm re h d d
ar a t o n h h of t is vo u e, we av e en e a v or e to s ow , t at

wh d
at e v e r k ymp hi
te n s d h i
to i di id
aw a en ou r s at es to wa r s ot er s , s an n v u al

be n e t fi as w e ll as a co m m on o
g o d .
”

SPARIN G TO S P END ; O R, T H E LO ET O N S AN D P KR IN E TON S

12 mo .
, l
c ot h . Pi r ce

Th e p p h
os e of t is l m e i s to x h i b i t th e e vi s l h t at fl o w fi om th e too
l k fp d
ur vo u e
co mm o n ac o ru e nce.
4 L IST O F BO O KS /
PUB L ISH E D BY G. G . EVAN S .

HO M E SC EN E S .

I am o . C lo t h . P r ce i
h
T i s Bo ok i d i g d t i d i th w k f
s es ne o a n e or o o v e r c o mi n g w h at is e vi l an d

se lfi h t h t h m li gh t m y d i p l h m h d
s , a o e s a s e o e s a o ws .

T HE O LD M AN S B RID E ’
‘
.

1 zmo . Pi Clo t h . r ce

Th i i p f lly i B k h i g h f lly f q l m i g
s s a o w er u w r tt e n oo , s ow n t e o o un e ua ar r a es.

A D VICE T O Y O U N G L AD IE S O N T HEI R D U T IE S AN D
CO ND U C T IN LIFE .

By T S AR H U R
. A .w d g ly l g d di i
T m . ne an r e at e n ar e e t on. 12 0 .
,

l h
c ot S l pl . Pi te e ate . r ce

AD VICE T O Y O UN G M EN O N V ARIO US I MP O RT AN T
SU B JEC T S .

By T S ART H U R
. . . A n e w an d g r e at ly l e n ar
ge d e di t i o n . 12 mo .
,

l
c o t h. St e e p l l at e . Pi
r ce

T WE NT Y E
Y ARS A G O AN D N O W .

By T . S . AR H U R T . 12 m0 .
, c lo h t , m e z z o t in t en
g r av n i g . Pi r ce

B IO G RA PH IE S .

I E
L F AN D E ! P LO RAT IO N S OF DR E K K AN E . . .
,

An d o t he r D i ti gui h d Am i Expl
s n I l di g L dy d
s e e r c an o r e rs. nc u n e ar ,

W ilke s ,
P y & C tiig
e rr , ti f th i c. h on a n n n arr a ve s o e r r e se a r c es

a n d ad ve n t ur e s i n r e m o t e a n d i n t e r e s t in g p o r t i o n s o f t he Gl be o .

By SA M UEL M . SM C K E , U R LL D
W i t h a fin e . . M ez z o t n t i Po r
t r ai t o f Dr . K an e , i n his A r c t i c c o s t u m e r ic e . P
T HE LIFE AN D REI G N OF N ICHOL AS I .
,

Emp ero r of Ru ssm W it h

d e s c r ip t i o n s o f Ru ssia n So c ie t y an d
.

G o ve r n m e n t , a n d a f u an d c o m
p e te H i s t o r
y ll
o f t he W a r i n l
t he E a st l
A so , S ke t c he s o f Sc ham yl, t he C ir c ass ian , an 1 o t he r
.
’

D is t in gu is he d C har ac t e r s By S SM C K ER , LL B e au t if u ly
. . M . U . D . l
I llus t r at e d O ve r 40 0 page s, arge I z m o
. r ic e l . P
T HE PUB LIC AN D P RIVAT E LIFE OF
By G EN .S P LYM . m l h
. Pi AN . 12 o ., c o t . r ce
6 L IST or no o xs PUB L IS H E D BY G. c . EVAN S.

LIFE OF GE N ERAL SA MU EL HO U ST O N ,

T he Hu n t e r, P at r i o t , an
d St a t e s m an of T e xas . W ith n in e illue v
'

t ra ti o n s . 12 m o ., c lo th . r ic e P
LI V ES OF GE N E RAL HEN RY LEE AN D G E N ERAL
T HO M AS SUMP T E R
'

Hi t o y f t h W i t h S h i D p t m t f
.

C o m pr isin g a s r o e ar n e o ut e n
'
e ar en o

U it
t he n ed St at e s . Ill
u s t r at e d, 1 2 mo, l
c o t h.

D ARIN G HEROIC D EED S OF A M E RIC AN W O M EN .

C o m pr ISin g r n a T h illi g E x m pl
es o f C
o u r age , F o r t it u d e, D e vo t e d

n e ss, an d Se lf Sac r ific e , am o ng t he

-
i o ne e r P M o t he r s o f t he
W e st e r n C o u n t r y By J O H N FR O ST , LL . . D . Pi r ce

LIV E S OF FE M ALE M O RM O N S .

A N arrat iv e of f t St
ac s
g t h F i t B y M E r an er an c l o n. T IA
'
VIC l O R IA
’

F U L ER Pi l
g

L . 12 mo .
, c o t h. r ce

LIV E S OF ILLU ST RIO U S W O ME N OF ALL AG E S .

Em p J L J G y B
”

C o n t ain in g th e p h i n e,
r e ss ad
y an eo se i e ra ,
t
ea r c

C e n c i, J o an o f A r c , An n e B o le n ,
y h ar o e o r C l tt C dy Z bi a , en o a,

&c .
, &c .
'

E ll
m b e ishe d w i t h i n e St ee o r t r ai t s F lP . 12 mo .
, c lo t h .

Pi r ce

T HE LIV E S AN D E ! P L O IT S OF T HE M O ST N O T ED
B U CC AN EERS P IRAT E S OF CO U NT RIE S
,

ALL .

Hand o m ly illu t ted

s e 1 vo l C lo th s ra . . . P r ic e

HI G HW AY M E N RO BB E RS AN D B AND I T T I OF ALL
’

CO T RIE S UN .

With C o lo red an d o t he r En gravm gs . Ha n o l o

ds m e y b un d in o ne
l
v o um e . 12 mo .
, c l o th r ic e
. P
HE ROE S AN D P AT RIOT S OF T HE SO UT H ;
C o m p r is i n g l es o f G l F i M i G l W illi m
e n e ra r an c s ar o n , e ne r a a

M l
ou t rie , G en e ra l A d w Pi k n d G re J h c e n s, an o ve r n o r o n

l
Ru t e dge , By C EC IL B HART LEY
. . I llu t s rat e d, 12 mo .
, c o th.l
Pr ic e
 L IST OF B K PUB
OO S L ISH E D BY G. G .
EVAN S .
7

KIT C ARSO N .

LF
I E OF C HR C A R O N , t he c e le b r a t e d Ro c y
IST O PH ER o u n t a in k M
H u n t e r, T r a
pp er an d n i d e , W i t h a f u ll d e s c r i p t i o n o f h i s

H u n t in
g x p lo i t s, E
ai r b r e a d t h p H
s c a e s , a n d a d v e n t u re s w i t h
-
E
t he I
n d i an s ; t o ge t he r w i t h hi s s e r vi c e s r e n d e r e d t he n it e d U
St a t e s G
o v e r n m e n t , as ui d e t o t he v ari o u s p G
x lo r i n
g x
p e di E E
t i o n s u n d e r o hn J
r e m o n t a n d o t he r s C F
By HA RL ES BU R ET T
. . C D .

W i t h six illu s tr a t i o n s P 1 2 m o , c lo t h ric e . . .

T HE LIFE AN D T I M E S OF G EO RG E W ASHI N G T O N .

By S M SM K . LL D h f “
. T h Li f f Th m UC ER, . .
, au t or o e e o o as
“ ”
J ff
e L if f A l d
e r so n , H m il ”
m e o e x an er a to n, e tc ., e tc . 12 o , .

l h Wi h S
c ot lP i Pi
, t tee o r tr a t . r ce

T HE LIFE AN D T I M E S O F HE N RY CLAY
“

By S M SM U K R LL D
. h .f h “ Li f W hi g o
C E ,
. .
, au t or o t e ve s o as n t n,
l P Pi
“
J ff e m l h S
e r so n, i
”
e tc . Iz o c ot , tee o r tr a t . r ce

LIFE O F AND RE W J AC K SO N .

C i i g A h i H i y f h M m o b l A hi m
o n ta n n an ut en t c st o r o t e e ra e c eve en ts

of h Am i t A my ed G l J k b f N w
e r c an r un er e n er a ac so n , e o re e

Ol By A
r e an s D W K m . l h P i L E! A N ER AL ER ; 12 o .
, c ot . r ce

LIFE o r B ENJ AMI N F RANKLIN .

By 0 L H Y W i h S l P i d i Ill
. . i
O LL E . t te e o r tr a t an s x us t r a t o n s .

m
12 lo h P i o .
, c t . r ce

LIV E S OF T HE S IG N E RS OF T HE D ECLARAT IO N OF
AM E RIC AN I ND E P E ND E N CE .

By B J LO S.
. SIN G . St e e l F r o n tis
p i e c e, an d fif ty p o r t r ai t s . 12 mo .
,

l
c o t h. Pi r ce

LIFE OF C AP T JOH N SMI T H OF V I RG IN I A; .

By W G L M R S M M .I ll t t d I m l th P i $ 1
I L O E I S. us r a e , z o c o ,
r c e, 0 0 .

T HE T H REE M RS . J UD SO N S ,

T he F ema e l Mi i By
i
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c ar e u f l ly r e vis e d e di t i o n , w i th st e e l p o r t r ai t s . 12 mo . Pi r c e,

$1 0 0 .
8 LIST O F B O O K S PU B L IS H E D BY G. G. EVA N S .

I N G RAHAM S ’
T H REE G RE AT WO RKS .

T HE

Prin c e o f t he Ho u s e o f Dav id ;
O R, T H R EE Y
EA R S IN T HE H O LY C IT B e ing a s e ri e s o f t he le t Y .

t e r s o f Adin a, a J e w e s s o f A e xan d r ia, s up o s e d t o b e Soj o u r n In g

p l
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l
t he s c e n e s an d w o n d e r f u i n c i d e n t s i n t he L I E O F J ES US O F N A z F
A R ET H , f r o m his B a t is m i n J o r d an t o his C r u c i fixi o n o n C alvar
p y .

ll
N e w e d i ti o n , c ar e f u y r e vi se d a n d c o r r e c t e d b y t he a u t ho , r
REV J H I N G RA H A M , LL
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, R e c t o r o f C hr is t C h u r c h , an d
. D .

St T ho m as H all, H o ly Sp r in gs ,
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l
F u l G i t Sid e s an d e dge s l r ic e . P
T he sam e W0 k In G e rman . 12 mo .
, c lo h P it . r c e,

T H E PIL LA R O F F IR E ;
O R I RA L
, B ND AG
S B i g E u t f th W
IN d f l O E. e n an ac c o n o e on er u

t h Lif f Ph h D ght M ’
S s ic ene f th S n e
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T o g th w ith P i t
e qu Sk t h f t h H b w d th ir
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T k m t as By R V J H I R A H M LL D
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Pi f th Hr nce f D id
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L g 12m ar l th P i $ 1 2 5 t h s m w k f ll gilt
e o . c o . r ce, , e a e or , u

si de s an d ed
g e s. P ric e , $2 0 0 .

T HE T HRON E O F D A VID ;
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b e io n o f r in c e Ab salo m P B e in g,a n il us t rat io n o f t he Sple n d o r , l
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REV . N G AH A M ,
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,
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l
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 10 L IST OF B O O KS PUB LIS H E D BY G G . . EVAN S.

P IRIT LAND T HE S .

12m lo h w ith M ti t E g i g P i
o ., c t , ez z o
’

n n r av n . r ce

Th pg bm i d h p bli i h h
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h l d li g
a ar e su e c ou n s e o e s es
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d f G h B i bl ly f d i f lli bl g i d f F i h ,
to t h e w or h o O D, t e e, a s t e o n s a e an n a e u e o a t

an d P r a c ti c e .
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T HE M O RNIN G ST AR ; O R, S M Y B O LS O F CHR T IS .

By Rm WM M T H Y . . A ER, a utho r of Hi n ts for t he H o u se hold ,

P o H olid as t
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.
, &c . 12 mo .
, c lo h P i
t . r ce

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S c r i tu r e s a r e i n v e s t e w i t e c u i ar d hp l a t t ra c t i o n s .

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h B i bl ”
l f
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EE T HO M E ; O R FR E D H P G O LDE ALT R
SW , I N S I
’
S N A .

By FR C C P ER C VA L M z o t i t F o ti pi
AN ES . 1 2 mo I . ez n r n s e c e, .
, c lo h t ,

gil t b k d t acP i an c en re . r ce

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a en e e or e s o o e o r e mi n d
us o f th e old S c e n es a n d old Ti m e s .

T HE D E SE RT E D F AMILY
O R, T HE W A N ER IN G S D O F AN OU By P U C T C A ST . A L REY T O N . I2 mo .
,

c l th o
r ic e . P
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he ar t, w a r m i n g t h e
,

aff e c ti o n s , a n d e e v a t i n g l th e s ou l .
”

A NNA CLAYT O N ; O R, T H E M OT H E R ’
S T R IAL .

A Ta l e of Re a l L if e. 12 mo .
, c lo h P i
t . r ce

Th p i i p l h i hi l d f m l l i f i m gi
ar a ct e r s t s t a e ar e raw n ro r ea e a na

pi d p h d f d xq i i j y
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h T hh T i l
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F ASHIO N AB LE D I SSI PA T IO N .

By M V FU R M o ti t F ti pi
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LL E d i . ez z n ron s ec e , 1 2 o., o un n

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 L IST OF B K PUBOO S L IS H E D BY G G . . EVAN S . II

“T O T HE P UR E A L L T H IN G S A B E. P UR E .

W O MAN AN D HER D I SEASE S .

Fr o m the Cl ra d e t o t he G r av e a d apt e d l
e xc usi v e ly to he r in st r uc
ti o n in h P hy i
t e s o o l gy o f he r sys t e m , an d a ll t he D is e ase s o f he r
C i i
r t ca l P io d er s. By E DW A R D H D . I! O N , MD . . 1 2 mo .r ice P
31 . 0 0 .

DR LIVI N G ST O N E S T RAV ELS AN D RE SE ARCHE S

.
’

OF SI ! T EE N Y E ARS I N T HE W ILD S OF SO UT H
AF RI C A .

O ne v o um e ,l m o , c o t h, fin e12 . l e di t i o n ,
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p pa e r , w i t h n u m e r o u s il u s t r a ti l o n s. Pi r ce C h e ap e di

t i o n , p r ic e

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g e h
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i ng t h e m o s t as t o n i s in g o o o f tr av e s t h e wh b k
o r hla s eldv e r
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All a c n o w e g e i t is t h e m o s t r e a a e o o u is e d bl b k p bl h d .

AN DERSSO N S
’
E ! P LO RAT IO N S AN D D I SCO V ERIE S .

Gi v n i g ac c o un t s o f m an y P i lo u s
d T hr illin g n c i
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W e s t e r n Af r i c a By AN ERSS O N ,
.
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c o th W it h um e r o u s I
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Adve n t u r e s, Su bj e c t s o f Na t u r al i s t o ry, e vic e s f o r e s tr o

y H
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IND IA AN D T HE IND IAN MUT IN Y .

C o mp i i
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t im e s t o p d y t he
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M u ti n
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H EN RY RE ER IC K F D
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T his w o r ha s b e e n go t t e n u p . k
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P r ic e
12 L IST O F BOO KS P UB LISH E D BY G G . . EVA N S.

SE V EN YE ARS IN T HE W ILD S OF SIB ERIA ,

A N ar r a t v ei f S Y E plo io
o d Ad
e ve n i e ars
’
x r at ns an ve n t ur e s n

Oi r e n ta l dW Si b i
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C hi n e se T y d P C
ar t ar l A i B y T, M an ar t o f en tra s a. HO AS

Ill l h
!

W ILLIA M A Wi h m i
T K IN S O N . m t nu e r o us us t r at o n s. 12 o ., c o t ,

p i r ce

SI! Y EARS IN N O RT HERN AN D CENT RAL AF RIC A .

T l d D i o i i N o th d C t l Af
r av e s an b i g sc v e r es n r an e n ra r i c a, e n a

J U al
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B R H Ph D F ll w f h R y l G g phi l d
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Asiat ic So c ie tie s, & c &c . 12 mo .

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Du ring t he ye ar s 8 53 , 1 in c l
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l N l Hi
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C a it a ; w i t h n o t i c e s o f t he
p at u r a sto r
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E LL S I ,
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by e n gr avin gs f r o m pho t gr aphs, & c o . 12 mo .
, c lo h t .
5 .

C AP T COO K S .
’ !

V O YAG E S RO UND T HE W O RLD .

O ne l
v o um e , 1 2 mo .
, l h Pi
C ot . r ce

B OO K OF A N ECD O T E S AN D B UD G ET OF FUN .

C o n t ain i n g a c o ll io
ec t n o f
‘

o ve r O n e T ho us an d L au
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Sa in gs ,
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Ric h J o ke s, e t c . 12 mo .
, c o t , e xt r a
gi t b ac k ,

“N o th i n g 1 8 s o w e ll l l d p c a c u a te to r e se rve th e h lthf lea u a cti on of th e

hum a n s yt s em a s a g d h y
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B OO K OF P LAY S FO R H OM E AMU SE M ENT .

Be ing a co f O ll
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,

C o m e d i e s , ram as, F arc e s, B urle s ue s, C har ade s, C o mic Le c q

t u r e s, e t c ll
C ar e f u y arr ange d an d spe c ia y adap t e d f or R IVAT E
. ll P
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RE R ESEN T AT IO N , w it h f u dir e c t io n s f o r e r f o r m an c e; ll
By SILAS P
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O n e v um e, I 2 m o , c o t h . ri c e ol . l . P
 L IST O F B O O KS PUB LIS H E D BY G G . . EVAN S .

RECO R S D OF
V OLU T IO NARY W AR T HE RE .

C i i g
o n ta n n
y d F i i l
th o
M ilit
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g i h d
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mp i d o p wi h h d f h i o mm i o

co an e s an c r d s, t t e at e s o t e r c i ss o ns an

li t m
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en ts . d G
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F ELL . L ar
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T HE RO M AN CE OF T HE RE V OLU T IO N .

Be in g hi f t he l d v e n t u r e s, r o m an t Ic in c id e n t s an d
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i ll u s t r at i o ns. L ar
g e 12 mo .
, $1 . 2 5

T HE Q U EEN S FAT E ’
.

A t ale o f t he d ays of H er od . 12 mo .
, c lo h t , w it h St e e l Ill u st r a
t io n s .

A r e c it a l of e v e n t s , o f an a w e a r o u s m g -
p eri o d , in a f mi li
a a r an d i n t er e s t
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LIVI N G AN D LO VI N G .

A l
c o l e c t io n of Sk t h
e c By M V IR A F
es. ISS G IN I . T O W N SEN D
lp ho
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L ar
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, w ith fin e ste e o r t r ai t o f t he au t r. Bou n d in
l
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We m ig t h s ay y th i g f
m an f t h i d l i g h t f l p b l i ti
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d eem i t u n n e c e s s ar y H b d h ld b y i t f th i w i
us an l
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ou
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G o d ey ’
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W HILE IT W AS M O RNI N G
By VR I G IN IA F . T O W N SEN , D au t h o r of
“ i vi n
L g an d L o vi n
g
l
.

12 mo .
, c ot h . P ric e $ 1 0 0 .

T HE A N G EL V I SIT O R ; V O R, O IC ES OF T HE H RT EA .

12 mo .
, l th w i h M
c o t E gr i g
, Pi t e z z o ti n n av n . r ce

Th e mi i f thi l m i t id i d i g g d t
s s on o s
s vo u e s o a n o n oo o th os e i n a ffli c ti on.
”
 L IST OF B K PUB
OO S L IS H E D BY G . C
!
. EVA N S . Is

T HE L A DIE S H A N D BOO K
’

FAN C Y AN D O R N AMEN T AL N EEDL E -

W O RK .

C O MP R ISIN G

F ull di re c t o n si w ith
p ki
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F L O REN C E A T LEH R O n e v o lu m e , Quar t o

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MAN UAL O F PO L IT E N ESS .

A H an B o k f t he u se o f L di e s i
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P ri c e , $ 1 0 0 .
 16 LIST O F BO OKS PUB LISH E D BY 0 . c . EVAN S .

LE C T UR E S FO R T H E PE O PL E
B Y T HE

R EV . H ; S T O W E L L BRO W N ,

First Se r ie s, pub is lhd d e un p

er a s e c ia l ar r an gem e n t w i t h t he au t ho r.

W i th a B i g phi l i
o ra ca n t r o d u c ti o n b
y D R R SH ELT O N . . M A C K EN Z IE.

W it h a p l
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O n e vo l . .
, 4 4
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p g a e s.

12 mo .
, clo h P i t . r ce

Mr B r own s
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b oo Th e st is c th e s i r it i s in , th e r e a s o n i n g c a r e u , a n d t h e

p d d h h b k ll d
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l
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a r g u m en t u s i ve We ar e ers ua e t at t i s oo wi r e n e r m or e
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.

of s e rm on s o r l e c tu r e s t a t av e b e e n ub is e d i n t i s
—
g o o an an y oo

1 9 th c e n tu r y L i verp ool M er cur y .

T HE HO M E B OO K OF HE ALT H AN D M E DICIN E ;
O R T H E L W A D M E S O F P H Y C A L C U L T U R E ad p t d t o
, A S N AN SI , a e

t i l E m b ci t e ti e o n D s i D i t i
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rea n , n a n, a n, n n,

p ve t e d ;
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ni g F o od E x i e R s t 8o0 By W n A , , erc s , e , 5 . . .

A OTT M D LC W th 1 1 illu t tio s L ge 1 2 m o P ic e

, . . I s ra n , ar . r ,

~ LIFE OF T HE E MPRE SS JO SE P HI N E ,

FIR ST W IF E or N P A O LEO N I Illust t e d w ith St e el P o t its By

. ra r ra . O

J T
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1 2 mo . c lo h P i
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LIV E S OF T HE HE ROE S OF T HE A M ERIC AN

RE V OLU T IO N .

C o m p ri s i n g t he Live f W hi gt n n d his G en e ls T he
s o as n o a ra .

De c l ar a t io n o f I d pe d
n e T he C o st t u t i o o f t he U i t e d
e n enc . n i n n

Stat e s T he n au u r a ,
. I g l Fi t An L d F w ll Ad d rs s nu a an ar e e r e sse

o f W ashi n gt o n W ith . P o r t r ai t s . 1 2 mo .
, c o t l
h. Pi r ce

COLUMB A ; A T ALE or C O RS CA I .

By PR P R MOS E ERIM EE. As a pic tu r e o f C o rsic an if e l an d m an n e r s,

C o lum b a i s u ne q l u al e d In o n e han ds o m e vo um e
. l . P ri c e
18 L IST O F BO O KS PUB LISH ED BY G . G. EVA N S .

B E AU T Y OF W O M AN S ’
F AI T H ;
A T A LE OF SO U THE N R L FE I . O ne v ol um e , I z m o c lo ht . Pn ce
o

$1 00 .

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v o u m e c on t ai n s
t h e s t or o f a renc m i g r an t , w h oy F hE pd fi rst
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ly l d f h ll i ll d
.

in g t o , a n d t h e s t r e n g t h an d e n u r a n c e o f w o m an s a i t w e
’
d u s tr a t e .
”

T HE O RP H AN BO Y ;
O R, L IG H T S AN D SH A D O W S OF N R H R L FE
O T E N I . By J ER EMY L O U D .

O n e v o um e , 1 2 m o , c l . lo h P i
t . r ce

“T hi s is a w or k i ll u s tr a ti n g p
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A T ALE OF LIFE IN T HE SO T H U By . J A M ES S . P EA C O C K , MD . .
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S IB YL M O N ROE ; o T HE FORG E R S D AUG HT ER r,

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E A V N S P O PULAR SP EAKER
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LY C EUM AN D SC H O O L E! B
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Hist o ric a Ske t c he s an d An e c d o te s By W IL LIA M IN N O C K, .

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B e i ng a Sele c t io n o f m o s t Im p o r t an t and in t e re s t mg e ve n t s w hic h

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