*

PASSI
ONANDDECEI
T*

Shewantshi
m,butsheknowshe’
sgoi
ngt
omar
ry
someoneel
se…
WhenMayaSt ewartarrivesinLondont ovisi
ther
bestfr
iendJay, she’sawar ethathe’ skeepingt he
factt
hathe’sgayasecr etf r
om hi stradi
ti
onal
Indi
anf amil
y.However ,deceivi
nghi sdanger ously
good-l
ookingol derbrother,Raji
v, i
ssomet hing
Mayahadn’ texpectedt odealwi th.Theat t
ract i
on
betweenherandRaj ivisintenseandi mmedi ate.
Butafterbei
ngwar nedbyJayofRaj iv’
sreput ati
on
asaplayerandwomani ser,Mayat r
iesherut most
tokeepherdi stancefrom him—al t
houghRaj iv
doesn’
tgiveupeasi l
y.
Hewant
sher
,buthe’
ssur
ethatshe’
shi
sbr
other
’s
l
over
…
Raji
vMaddoxhasdemonsofhisownt obattl
e,
i
ncludi
ngadarkersi
det
ohistort
uredsoul.Hi
ghly
suspi
ciousofMaya,
hethi
nksthatshecouldbethe
reasonforJay’
ssuici
daldepressi
on,yetRajivcan’t
denyhisattr
acti
ontothisbeauti
fulf
lame-haired
Scotti
shgir
l.Butonethingheknowsf orsure—i f
shefindsoutwhatamonst erhereall
yis,she’llr
un
fastandhardintheotherdi
recti
on.
Cantwopeoplefr
om t wodif
ferentcul
tur
esand
suchdi
ssi
milarworldsf i
ndanycommongr oundor
hasfat
edoomedt heirlovef
rom thebegi
nni
ng?
Chapt
er1

Raj i
vexitedtheMer
cedesandmadehi
sway
reluctantl
ytowar
dtheentr
anceoft
hebusyt
rai
n
station.The

Londonweat herwashumi dafterthecoolcomf ort

oftheair
-condit
ionedvehicle.Hehadpl annedto
sendoneofhi sstafftomeett hegirlrathert
han
cominghimself,buthisconcer nforhisbr ot
herhad
madehi m changehismi ndatt helastmi nut
e.
Besides,
hewascur i
oust omeether ,tof i
ndoutif
shewast hereasonf orhisbrother’
sst ateofmind.
Hewasusual lygoodatj udgingpeopl e.Inf act, he
beli
evedt hatthi
swasoneoft hemai nr easonsf or
hissuccessi nbusiness.Hi sinsti
nctswer eshar p
wheni tcamet opeopl e.Hewoul devengosof aras
tosayt hatheusedt oanal yzepeopleandenj oy
fi
guringoutwhatmadet hem tick.Heshovedhi s
handsi ntohistrouserpocketsandpausedf ora
moment ,usedto,notanymor e.Latelyhe’ df el
ta
growingsenseofbor edom seepi ngintohi sl i
fe, i
nto
hissoul.Heshookhi mselfment all
y,awar et hathi s
i
ntrospect i
vebehaviourwasdr awingsome
att
entionf r
om thebust l
ingcommut ers.Onl y
beggarsandt hehomel essloiter
edar oundKi ngs
CrossSt ati
onandhewast oowel ldressedt obe
eit
her.

MaybeitwasSanjay’
sdepressi
onrubbingoffon
hi
m?Butdeepdown, heknewt hi
sfeel
ing
of
…empt i
ness…hadstar
tedquit
eawhilebeforehi
s
br
otherhadretur
nedtoLondon.
Anat tr
acti
vedar k-hai
redwomancaughthi seyeand
smiledtentati
vely.Raji
vsmiledbackaut omatical
ly
andt henmovedpur poseful
lytowardthemai narea
ofthest at
ion.Nowwasnott het i
mef oral
lthi
s
i
ntrospection.Besides,hedidn’twanttokeep
Sanjay’sgirl
fr
iendwai t
ing.

Raji
vnot icedheri mmediat
ely.Shewasst andi
ngat
thestati
on’ smeetingpoi
nt,asmal lsui
tcaseon
wheelsbesi deherandanani mat edexpressi
onon
herface.I tseemedasifshef oundtherather
squali
dhust l
eandbustleofKi ngsCrossStati
on
quit
ef ascinating.

Hisbr
otherhadsai
d,“Justl
ookfort
hemost
beaut
if
ulgir
lint
hestati
onandthatwil
lbeMaya.
”

Attheti
me,Rajivhadsmi l
edtohimself
,butit
seemedhisbrotherwasr i
ght
,forshewasqui t
e
str
iki
ng.Hecouldn’tdeci
dewhethershelookedli
ke
ahippywho’
dj uststeppedoutofthe1960sora
nymphf
rom aPr
e-Raphael
it
epai
nti
ng.

Herhairwasunusual
.Hesear chedfortheri
ght
wordtodescri
beit
…Tit
ian,per
haps?Acopper y
col
or,str
eakedwit
hgold,i
thungst r
aightdownto
herwaistandcoul
dnotpossiblybenatural
.

Hecoul dnotmakeoutt hecolorofhereyesyet ,but

therewasnomi stakingthebeautyi
nt heirslanted
shape.Shewasdr essedi nali
laccottontopt hat
huggedhersl im bodyandhi nt
edatsmal l
,ti
ght
breasts.Hisgazedr oppeddownt otakei nthe
fl
owi ngIndianskir
tandf lat
,st
rappyleathersandal s.
Ashi seyesmovedsl owlybackupherl ongl i
ssom
body, hereali
zedthatshehadbecomeawar eofhi s
appraisal.

Hergazewascoolanddismissive,tel
li
nghim
pl
ainl
ythatshewasaccustomedt obeingsurveyed
bytheopposit
esexanddidn’
tpar t
icul
arlyenj
oyit.
Thelookshegavehi
m wascl earl
yunf r
iendl
y,and
Raj
ivdeci
dedi
twast
imet
omakeherawar
eofj
ust
whohewas.

Wat chinghim approach, t

heexpr essi
ononher
exquisitefacewoul dhavest oppedmostmeni n
theirtr
acksand, ashegotcl oser ,
Rajivf
ound
himselfst ari
ngintohaughtygr eeneyes.Incredi
ble,
expressiveeyes, t
hatalmostst oppedhimi nhis
tracks.Herski nwassmoot handcr eamy,justa
traceofcol orshadingherhighcheekbones.Hi s
eyesset tl
edonherf ul
linvi
ti
ngmout handhesaw
herlipstighteninanger.

“
Maya—MayaSt ewar
t?”Hekepthi
stone
i
mpersonaland

shenodded,herexpressi
oncl
ear
ing.“
I’
m Raj
iv
Maddox,Sanjay’
sbrother
.”

“
Oh.
”Sheseemedatal
ossf
orwor
dsandRajf
elta
ki
ckofpleasure.He’
dmanagedt
ounset
tl
edher
coolconf
idence.

Heheldouthi
shandr eluctantl
y.Forsomer eason,
hewasnotkeent otouchher .Herpal
m wascool
whenhisfi
ngerscamei ntocontactwithhersoft
ski
nandhedr ewawayqui ckly,t
ryi
ngtoignorethe
shi
verofawarenessthatranuphi sarm.

Shewasquitetal
lhenoti
cednow.Hewasusedt o
tower
ingoverwoman—likeKir
ti
—butthisgi
rlwas
asdif
fer
entfrom Ki
rt
iasitwaspossi
bletobe.

“I
twasver yki
ndofyoutomeetme. ”Hervoicewas
l
ow, withasubtl
eli
ltt
hatbet
rayedherScott
ish
ori
gins.“Fr
om whatJayhastoldme,you’
reavery
busyman. ”

Raj
ivfr
owned.“
It
’snopr
oblem.”Hewaswonderi
ng
j
usthowmuchhisyoungerbr
otherhadt
oldher
abouthim.“
Mydr i
ver’
swait
ingjustoutsi
dethe
stat
ion.
”Hepickedupthesmallsuit
case,moti
oni
ng
hertowardt
heexit.

Outside,thesunwasshiningbuttheLondonai rst
il
l
fel
thumi dandpoll
uted.Raji
vsquintedhiseyes
againstthesuddenbri
ghtness,l
ookingforthe
Mercedes.Hesawi tparkedinaNoPar kingZone,
andBi j
alwasclimbi
ngout ,r
eadytoassistthem.

“
Thi
sway,
”hesai
d,noddi
ngt
owar
dst
heMer
cedes.

Hei nt
roducedhert oBi j
al,hisdri
verandheadof
securit
y,ir
rit
atedbyBi j
al’
sr eacti
ont oherwar m
smi l
e.Asshesl idgracefull
yi nt
ot hevehi clehe
caughtagl impseofl ongsl i
ml egs,lightlytanned
withthinsil
verchainsci r
clingeachdel icate
ankle—Indianstyle.Raji
vfel tastir
ringbel owhi s
beltandscowl ed,ir
ri
tatedwi thhimsel f.Hehanded
hersuitcasetoBi j
alandmadehi swayr oundt othe
othersideofthevehi cl
e,climbingi nbesi deherbut
keepi
ngasmuchdi
stancebet
weent
hem as
possi
ble.

Shetur
nedtohim withasmi l
e.“I
’
vehearddri
vingi
n
Londoncanbeani ghtmare.You’
rel
uckytohave
someoneelsedoitforyou.”

Raji
vstar
edather,unabl
etoconcent r
ateonwhat
shewassayingforamoment .Hersmi l
ewas
devast
ati
ng,li
ght
ingupherbeautifulf
acewitha
charmthatseemedsogenuine.Hebl i
nkedand
for
cedhisbraint
obeginfunct
ioningagain.He
neededtorememberwhot hi
sgirlwasandt hatshe
wasstri
ctl
youtofbounds.

“Yes,dri
vinginLondoncanbeei therstressf ulor
boring,
”hemanagedf inall
y,wonder i
ngifther ewas
sarcasm behindhercommentonbei ngl uckyt o
havesomeoneel sedothedrivi
ngf orhi
m.“ Imuch
prefert
opaysomeoneel setodoi tforme, ”he
addeddr yly.Hecoul
dsmel lherperfumenow, a
subt
lefl
oralf
ragr
ancethatt
easedathi
snost
ri
ls
andsti
rr
edhissenses.

“Youdon’
tlookatal
lli
keJay,
”sheobser
ved,
as
Raji
vshif
tedinhi
sseat.

“
Howdoyoumean?
”

Shehesit
ated.“
Wel
l
,Jayi
ssor
tofqui
etand
sensi
ti
ve.
”

Herai
sedhiseyebr
ows.“
Andme—I
’
m nott
he
sensi
ti
vet
ype?”

He’dmanagedt oembarrassher.Hecouldseethe
fl
usht hatcoloredhercheekbonesand,forsome
reason,itpleasedhim.Hewant edhertofeel
uncomf ortable.Hewantedhertoknowt hathewas
notthequi et,sensi
ti
vepushoverthathi
sbrother
was.

“Well,Ihar dl
yknowyou, butjudgi
ngfr
om fir
st
i
mpr essi onsIwouldsayyouseem mor ethest r
ong,
sensiblet ype.
”Shesmiledthatdevast
ati
ngsmi le
again,hert onealmostplayful
,andRaj
ivstared,
undeci dedwhet hert
obei nsult
edornot.

Hell,
nowonderJayi maginedhi msel
finlovewit
h
thegirl.Shewasalltoodisturbi
ng—sodi f
fer
ent
from thewomenheusual l
ymet ,bothIndi
anand
West ern.Buthesti
lldi
dn’
tt r
usther.Jayhadcome
backf rom uni
ver
sityinEdinburghachanged
person—ashadowofhi soldself,andRajivwasnot
sureift hi
sgir
lsi
tt
ingbesidehi m wastoblame.

“
Howi sJay?”sheaskedandheturnedaway,
f
indi
ngiteasi
ertoconcent
rat
ewhenhewasn’ ton
t
herecei
vingendofthosesul
tryeyes.
“He’s…well,si
ncebei
ngbackinEngl andhe’sbeen
ratherl
ow. ”Ther
ewasnopoi ntinl
ying.She’dseeit
forherselfsoonenough.“
Igatheryou’vespokento
himl at
ely?”

“Yes,
”sheanswer
ed,“
butJaywasnevermuch
goodonthephone.
”

“Well,
we’reallhopingthatyourpresencewi
llsnap
him outofit
.”Het urned,
watchingherreact
ionto
thi
s.

“Depr
essioni
snotsomet
hingyouj
ustsnapoutof
,”
shesaid.

“Ah,yes.
”Hel eanedhi
sheadbackagainstthesof
t
l
eatherupholster
yofthecar
.“If
orgot
.You’vegota
degreeinpsychologynow,r
ight
?”
Hereyesflashedattheironyinhi
svoi
ce.“
Iwasn’
t
t
alki
ngasapsychol ogist,
”sheanswer
edti
ght
ly.“
I
wastalki
ngasJay’sf r
iend.”

Jay’sf
ri
end,
sot
hat
’showshewasgoi
ngt
opl
ayi
t.
Thiswasgoi
ngt
obeinter
est
ing.

Shewasl ookingoutoft heti

ntedwindownow, as
theypassedthrought heWestEndont heirwayto
thehouseinKni ghtsbri
dge.Raji
vhadbeen
extr
emelyreluctanttotakeherhomewi thhi
m.I n
fact
,he’
dhadanar gumentwi thhismotheronthe
phoneabouti tt
hedaybef ore.

“
Whycan’
tshejustgetatr
ainst
rai
ghtf
rom London
t
oWil
tshi
re?
”he’daskedhi
smotherimpat
ientl
y.

“Becauseshe’
dhavetogetacr
ossLondonto
Vict
oriaSt
ati
onandthenwaitGodknowshowlong
foraconnecti
ngt
rai
n!”
Hecoul dhearhervoi
cebecomingagitat
edand,
knowi ngwhatshe’dbeent hr
oughthesepastf
ew
weeks, Raj
ivhadrel
ented.Hewoulddoashis
mot heraskedanddr i
vehertoWilt
shiret
he
fol
lowi ngday.

SinceSanjayhadcomebackf rom Univer

sit
y,bot
h
Rajivandhismotherhadbecomemor eandmor e
concernedabouthismentalstate.Evenbeinginthe
peacefulcount
rysi
deofWiltshirehadmadehar dl
y
anydiffer
encetoJay’
sgener alapathy.

Raj
ivcoul
dseet hestr
ainitwasput ti
ngonhis
mother
.Si
ncehi sfat
her’
sdeat hfouryearsago,
Raj
ivhadtakenovertherunningoft hecompanyas
wel
lastheroleofheadoft hefamily.

Hi
smotherhadcomet
orel
yonhi
mtodealwi
thany
cr
isi
s
t
hatmightari
se.Havi
nggrownupwithanIndi
an
motherandaveryEngl
ishfat
her
,Raj
ivhadalways
f
eltI
ndian.

Nowt hatt
hefami
lywasintroubl
e,i
twasupt
ohim,
asthemaleheadofthehousehol
d,t
odealwi
tht
he
pr
oblem.

Thiswasacr isi
s,her emindedhimsel fgri
ml y.
Seeinghisbrotherwast i
ngawayf ornoappar ent
reasonwast eari
ngt hefamilyapart.Andi f
thi
s—Maya—wast hatreal
lyhername?I fshecould
beofanyhel p,hewaswi l
li
ngtogi veitago, evenif
hisinst
inct
swer etelli
nghim shecoul dcause
compl i
cati
onsforthewhol efamily.

“London’
scertai
nlychangedsi
nceIwaslasthere.
”
Hersoftaccentpull
edRaji
vbackint
othepresent.
“Andwhenwasthat?”heasked,t
ryingnott
olookat
herful
lpi
nkmouth,
thebottom l
iplushandinvi
ti
ng.

“
Oh,year
sago.
”Shesi
ghed.“
Icameonaschool
t
ri
p.”

“Well,
itcouldn’
thavebeenthatmanyyear s,
”he
saiddryly.“
Youlooktomel i
keyou’vebarely
steppedoutoftheclassroom.”Hesaidittoannoy
her,butshelaughedandRaj i
vfel
tthatl
aughallthe
waydownt ohisgroi
n.

“
Wast
hatmeantt
obeacompl
iment
?”

Hetri
ednott
or espondtoherimpishsmilebutit
wasimpossi
ble.Shewast easi
nghim!Rajiv
Maddoxwasnotusedt obeingteased.BeingCEO
ofMaddoxJuntaInvest
ment smeantthatthe
peopl
ehecamei ntocontactwi
th,maleorf emale,
werever
ymuchawar eofwhohewasandact ed
accordi
ngl
y.Hedi
dn’
tthi
nkanyoft
hem woul
deven
dream oft
easi
nghi
m.

Hewant edtomakesomecut t
ingr etortbutl ooki
ng
i
nt othosetwi nklingcateyeshef eltatal ossf or
wor ds—anot herr arit
y.Hiseyesdr oppedt oher
mout handsuddenl yhecaughtat ant ali
zing
gli
mpseofadai ntypinktongue.Hecoul df eelhi
s
skinprickl
ing, awaveofheatwashi ngoverhi m.
Thi swascr azy, het ol
dhimself,turningj erkil
yaway,
l
ooseni nghi stie,andunbut toninghi sshi r
t.She
mi ghtbebeaut iful,shemi ghtbedi fferentfrom any
womanhe’ devermet ,butshewaspr obabl ya
playeroranoppor tunist
,orboth,andeveni fshe
wasn’ t
,shewashi sbr ot
her’
sgi rl
fr
iend, forGod’ s
sake.

Hiscel
lphonebuzzed.I
twashi
sPA,
Joseph,
aski
ngwhere

hewas.Josephr
emi
ndedhi
m ofameet
ingt
hey
hadt
hataf
ter
noon.

“Don’tpanicJoseph,”herepli
ed,notwant ingtosay
toomuchwi t
hMayai nthecar.Eventhoughshe
wasst ari
ngoutt heti
ntedwindows, shecoul dn’
t
helpbuthearhi ssideoftheconversation.“I
managedt ogett hemeet i
ngmovedt otomor row
mor ni
ngatnineandI ’
l
lbeinwel lbef
or ethen.Just
makesur eallthedocument sareinor der,okay?”

Heendedt hecallabruptly,
notwanti
nghert
oknow
abouthisearl
ierdecisiontomeetherhi
mselfand
taki
ngtheafternoonof ftofi
ndoutwhathecould
aboutherbeforeleavingherwit
hSanjay.
Chapt
er2

Raji
vstaredoutatthebusyLondonStreet
,wi
shing
hehadn’tmadet hatlastmi
nut
edeci
siontopickher
up.Wishinghecouldputasmuchdistancebetween
hi
mselfandt hi
sgirlandyet
,att
hesamet i
me, not
wanti
ngtol
etheroutofhi
ssight
.Hi
sphonebuzzed
agai
nand,wi
thasigh,heanswer
edi
t.

Henot edherexpressi
onast heyent er
edthe
Knightsbri
dgehouse.Wel l
,hethoughttohimsel
f,i
t
woulddohergoodt ofeelabitoverawed.Thegi
rl
wasf artooconfi
dentforherowngood, andf
ormy
peaceofmi nd,addedal i
tt
levoice.

“Mrs.Travis.”Hegreetedthehousekeeperasshe
approachedt hem.“ Thi
sisMi ssMayaStewart,t
he
youngladyIt ol
dyouabout .Maya,ourhousekeeper
,
Mrs.Travis.”Hewat chedhersmi l
eassheshook
theolderwoman’ shand.

“
Howni
cet
omeetyou.
”

“
ThankyouMi ss.
”Thehousekeepertur
nedtohim.
“
Ihavetheroom r
eady,
Mr .Raj
iv,shal
lIgetBi
jal
to
t
aketheluggageup.
”
“Yes,thankyou,Mrs.Travis.”Hewast empt edto
disappearint
ohisstudy,togat herhisthoughts,
beforeprepari
ngfortomor row’smeet i
ng.Tempt ed
tosendherupt oherr oom wi t
hhersui t
case.But
hismot herhadinst
il
ledhergoodI ndi
anmanner si n
himt oowelltobeignored.“Shallwegot hrought o
thedr awi
ngroom? ”

Shefollowedhi mt hr
ough, surpriseregi
ster
ingon
herfaceatt hesizeandel eganceoft heroom, and
Raji
vwi shedhecoul dr eadhert houghts.Wasshe
materiali
sti
c?Most —maybeal l—ofthewomenhe
knewwer e.Wasweal that ur
nonf orher?Anddi di
t
evenmat ter,aslongasshecoul dbringhisbrother
backfrom t hatdarkpl
acewher eheseemedt obe
hidi
ng?

“WhatcanIof f
eryoutodr
ink,
”heasked,heading
forthel
iquorcabi
net.“
Orwouldyoupref
erMr s.
Travist
omakeyousomet ea?”
“
Teawoul
dbenice,
”shesai
d,hereyesmovi
ng
r
oundt
heroom.

Hepouredhimselfast i
ffwhiskyandgul peddown
halfameasurebeforegoingtoor derthetea.It
mightonl
ybef i
vethi
rtyintheafternoon,butithad
beenonehellofalongday.Andi twasn’toveryet
.

Shewasst andingbythewi ndowwhenher e-

enter
edther oom,theaft
ernoonsuncat chingtr
aces
ofgoldinherl ushcopperyhair.Itwasamost
unusualcol or—ifi
tisr
eal.I
tcertainl
ylooked
genuine,butnowadaysyouneverknew.Hi seyes
tr
aveleddownwar d.

Hecouldjustmakeoutthelong,sli
m, l
inesofher
l
egsthroughthethi
ncottonskir
t.Herbodywas
r
eal
lysomet hi
ng.Shecouldeasil
yhavebeena
model.He’
ddatedaf ewmodelsi nhistime,but
noneoft
hem hadhadt
hebody,
orf
acet
omat
ch
hers.

Wassheawar eoftheeff
ectshewashavingonhim?
hewonder ed,
maki nghi
swaybacktothel i
quor
cabi
netanddr ai
ningthewhiskywi
thafeeli
ngof
annoyance.

“Sowhatexact
lydoyouknowaboutmybrother
’s
sit
uati
onsi
ncehecamehomef rom Uni
ver
sit
y?”he
askedassheturnedt
ofacehi
m.

“
Hissi
tuat
ion?
”Shef
rowned.“
Um,
notmuch,
r
eal
ly.
”

“Butyou’
vespokentohim onthephone,
right
?”he
conti
nued,wat
chinghercaref
ull
y.

“
Yes,
we’
vespokenanumberoft
imesandhedi
d
soundr
athersubdued,
Inot
iced.
”

“So,doyouhaveanyi deawhyhe’sso…subduedor
shouldIsaydepressed,seei
ngasthat
’swhatthe
doctorsar
ecall
ingit?”

Heknewhewasgr
il
li
ngher
,buti
twast
imet
otr
y
andget

tothebot
tom oft
his.I
fsheknewanythi
ngthathe
didn’
t,
hewasdeterminedtogeti
toutofher
.

“
I—why,
no.He—heseemedf
inewhenwewer
eup
i
n

Edi
nbur
ght
oget
her
.Ir
eal
lycan’
tsay.
”

Shewasl
ying.Hecoul
dfeel
iti
nhi
sgutandhi
s
expr
essi
ont
oldherso.

“Icaredeeplyaboutmybr ot
her,MissStewart,and
seeinghimlikethi
siscausingmymot heralotof
distr
ess.”Hewalkedslowlytowardher.“Iwould
hopet hati
fyouhaveanyi deawhatt heprobl
em is,
youwoul dbekindenought ohelpusout .
”Hewas
closeenoughnowt oseet hefai
ntflushonher
cheeksandt hewayhert eet
hwer ebiti
ngnervously
i
nt oherful
lbott
om li
p.

“
I—I’
m sorr
y,Mr
.Maddox,
butIr
eal
lydon’
tknow
whattosay.
”

Shewasstar
ingatsomepointbel
owhi
schi
n.Not
evenaver
ygoodliar
,hedeci
ded.

“Please,cal
lmeRajiv.
”Hespokesof t
lyandhadthe
pleasureofseei
nghercolordeepenbeforehe
turnedawayt opourhi
mselfanotherdri
nk.Thi
s
ti
meheaddedi ceandwatertothewhi
sky.He
neededhiswit
sabouthi
mi fhewasgoingtofi
nd
outjustwhati
twasshewashi di
ng.

“HowcomedoyouandJayhaveI ndi
annames?”
Shewast r
yingt
ochangethesubj
ect,hewassur
e
ofit
.“It
houghti
fyouwereCathol
ics…”

Rajivsighed, frustr
ated.“
Myf ir
stnameisJames,
l
ikemyf ather’s.”Hisjawclenched.Howhehat
ed
thatname.“ Mymot herchosemysecondname,
Rajiv,
whi chi swhatshe’ salwayscall
edmeand
sincemyf atherdiedI ’
veneveransweredt
othe
name“ James. ”

Shelookedgenuinelyi
nterest
ed,i
ntel
li
gence
shini
ngthr
ought hosegreeneyes.“AndJay?”she
asked.“
EveryoneinEdinburghcal
lshim Jay?
”

“
Jay’
sfi
rstnamei
sact
ual
lyJacob—ver
yCat
hol
ic,
”
hesaid.“
Hissecondname’sSanj
ay,
onceagai
n
chosenbymymot her.Anymor
equesti
ons?
”

Heknewhewasbeingr
udeandabrupt
,butt
hei
r
namesseemeduni
mport
antundert
he
ci
rcumst
ances.

Shef
lushed.“
I’
m sor
ry,
Idi
dn’
tmeant
opr
y.”

Heshookhishead,f
eel
ingpet
tyandmean.“Noit
’s
j
ustdi
ffi
cultt
ofocusonanyt
hingbesi
desSanj
ay’
s
i
ll
nessatthemoment.”

“Ofcour
se,
”shesai
dsof
tl
yandthenr
emai
ned
sil
ent
,wait
ingf
orhi
mtospeak.

Raji
vtookadeepbreat
handgotst rai
ghttothe
poi
nt.“Si
ncer
etur
ningtoEngland,Jayhasspentall
ofhist
imemopingaroundCranthorpe.That
’sour
fami ly’scount ryhome. ”Shenoddedandhe
cont inued.“ Atf i
rstthat’
sallwethoughti twas,
mopi ngar ound, buthest oppedeatingandst art
ed
l
osi ngwei ght ,
sleepingunt i
ltwo,t
hreei nthe
after noon.Fi nall
y, mymot hercall
edi nthedoct or
whodi agnosedhi sdepression.Naturall
y,wewer e
shocked.Jayhasal waysbeenwhatyoudescr i
bed
asasensi tiveboy, buthe’sneverinthepast
suff eredf rom depr essi
on.Besides,someI ndian
peopl e,li
kemymot her,don’tr
eall
yunder stand
depr essi on.”Hepaused, tr
yingtogaugeher
react ion,butshej ustnoddedsympat heti
call
y.“The
doct orpr escr i
bedant i-
depressant
s, whichhe’ s
beent aki
ngf oraboutt woweeksnow, but
unf or t
unat elytherehasn’tbeenanynot i
ceable
i
mpr ovement .
”

ThesoundofMrs.Travi
sapproachi
ngsil
encedhim
andhewait
edwhileshedeposit
edtheteawith
someIndi
ancakesonal owtablebesi
deoneofthe
sof
as.
“Thankyou, Mrs.Travis.”RajivwatchedMayaseat
herselfandpourt hetea,whilesippingslowl yathis
whisky,thewar mthofi teasingsomeoft het ensi
on
from hisgut.Fi
nallyhecont inued.“Mymot her
noti
cedt hattheonlytimeJayseemedeven
remotelyenergisedwaswhenhewast al
kingabout
you,orafterhe’dspokenwi t
hyouont hephone.So
shesuggest edinvit
ingyouoverf oravisi
t.”

“
Isee.”Shenoddedherhead.“
Soi
twasyour
mother’
sidea.
”

“Yes,butitwasthefi
rstti
mewe’ dseenJay
enthusiasti
caboutanythi
nginweeks, ”Rajiv
continued.“Whatwe’
rehopingf ornowi sthatt
his
enthusiasm wil
lcont
inueandt hatyourpresence
therewillsomehowdr awhim outofthisstatethat
he’sin.”

Shenodded,notsayinganyt
hing,
andRaj
ivf
elta
senseofi
rr
it
ation,asshesatther
edemur
ely
si
ppi
nghert
ea.

“Ican’
thelpwonderi
ng,”headdedsof
tl
y.“Doyou
thi
nkhisleavi
ngEdinburgh—andyou—couldhave
anythi
ngtodowi t
hhisdepressi
on?”

Thisgotherattenti
onandtheteacuprat
tl
edasshe
setitdown.“Ireal
lycan’
tsay.Imeanhemi ghtbe
missinguniver
sityli
feand—andallhi
sfr
iends,but
i
t’
sdi f
ficul
ttoknow, r
eal
ly.
”

“Andyou, doyout hi
nkhe’sbeenmi ssi
ng
you—lovesick,perhaps? ”Heloomedoverher ,hands
pushedintothepocket sofhistrouser s,wat ching
thesurpri
ser egisteronherlovelyf ace.Sur pri
se
and…somet hingel se.Shewast r
yingt ohide
something.Raj i
vf el
tsureofit.Butwhat ?Ifsheand
Jayhadbeenhavi nganaf f
air
, whyshoul dshewant
tohideit
?Unl essshewasnol ongeri nterestedi n
conti
nuingtheaf f
air.
“Idoubtt
hatverymuch.”Shest
oodup.“Andnowif
youdon’tmind,
I’dl
iket
ogot omyroom.It
’sbeena
l
ongday. ”

Damnr i
ght,heminded.Ifsheescapednow, he
mightnotgetanotherchancetofi
gureoutwhatshe
knew.Buttherewaslit
tl
ehecoulddo, shor
tof
for
cinghertostaywhereshewas.

Andsomehow,heknewt hatapproachwoul
dn’
t
workwit
hher.No,
perhapsheshoul dtr
yamore
subt
leappr
oach—tr
ytochar m her.

Theideawasdeci dedlyenti
cing.He’dusedhis
charm onmanywomeni nthepast,usuall
ytoget
them i
ntobed.Buthewasn’ ttryi
ngtogetMaya
Stewartint
obed,her emindedhimself.Shewas
probablyhi
sbrot
her ’
slover,f
orGod’ssake.
Buti
nvei
gli
nghi
msel ftohermightsti
llbet
hebest
waytogett
othetruth.Af
teral
l,hewasdoingi
tfor
hi
sJay.Anddi
dn’ttheendjust
ifythemeans?
Chapt
er3

Mayast aredatherr efl

ecti
oni nthemirrorofthe
mar bl
e-toppeddr essingtablebesideherbedr oom
window.Thef acethatst aredbackatherl ooked
anxiousandf l
ushed, herbottom li
pswol l
enand
sensiti
ve.I notherwor dsguilt
yaschar ged.Orso
RajivMaddoxwoul dbet hi
nking.God,theman
couldter r
ifyyouwi t
hj ustonelook,andt helooks
he’dbeengi vi
ngherhadbeenf ul
lofsceptici
sm and
suspicion.

Withagr oanoff rust

rati
on,Mayastoodup, unable
tofacethemi r
roranylonger.Thi
sbedr oom, infact
thewholehouse, hadcomeassomet hingofa
shocktoher .Shehadknownt hatJaywasf rom a
well-
offf
ami ly,butshehadnotr eal
izedjusthow
aff
luenttheywer e.Wast hatwhyhewasf indingit
sodi
ff
icul
ttot
ellhi
sbr
othert
het
rut
h?

Sheshookherhead, unabl et ogett heman’ s

presenceoutofhermi nd.Raj ivMaddoxwasway
toodisturbi ng.Hisfacehadahar shnessabouti t
,
whichshoul dhavedet ractedf rom hi slooks, but
somehow, onlyseemedt oaddt ohisat tracti
on.He
wasat t
ract i
ve.Therewasnodoubtaboutt hat.His
Indi
anr oot swer eobvi ous.Eveni fhisf atherhad
beenEngl ish,heobviousl yt ookf r
om hi smot her’
s
genepool .Thickblackhai r,brushinghi scol l
ar,and
thosesl eek, hi
ghcheekboneswoul dtur nany
woman’ shead.Onl yt heeyescoul dgi veawayt he
factthathewasnotf ul l
yI ndian.Skybl ueeyest hat
seemedt ochangeshadeswi thhismood, becomi ng
darkerwhenhewasangr y—ashehadbeennotl ong
ago,justbef or
eshehadr unoutonhi m.Those
darkenedbl ueeyeshadt ol dhercl earlyt hathe
wasn’ tfi
nishedwi thherandsheshi veredatt he
thought .
Hewassodi fferentfr
om Jay,
whosegent l
echarm
andeasy- goi
ngmannerhadgi venhersomuch
pleasur eduringtheirti
meatuniversi
ty.Jay,wi
thhis
streakybr ownhai randambereyes.Hedi dn’tr
eall
y
l
ookI ndianatall.Mostofthetimeshewoul d
compl et
elyforgetthathewashalf-I
ndianand,the
factt hathewasCat hol
ic,
li
keher,onlyaddedtothat
i
mpr ession.

Mayast ar
edoutattheperfectl
ylandscapedgar
den
beneathherwindow.Everyt
hingabouttheplace
reekedoftast
eandweal t
h.

Thebedr oom washugewi thanattachedbat hroom

thatcouldprobablyputfivestarhotel
st oshame.
Herbar efeetsankintothecream coloredcar petas
shemadeherwayt hroughtothemar ble-ti
led
bathroom withitssunkenbathandt urnedont he
heavysilvertaps.Anarrayofexpensive- l
ooking
toi
letr
ieswassetupononeoft hebat hroom
shelvesandMayashookherheadi nwonder ,
addi
ngsomel
uxur
iousbubbl
ebat
htot
hewat
er.

RajivMaddoxhadsuggest edtheymeetdownst ai
rs
atseven, soshehadaboutanhourt or el
axand
preparef ortheinquisi
tion.Forshewassur ethat
waswhathehadpl anned.Shewoul dhavetobe
strong,asshehadnoi ntenti
onoflet
tingJaydown.
Hissecr etwassaf ewi t
hher ,nomatterhow
formidabl ehisbrot
hert urnedouttobe.

Afteral uxuri
ousbath,sheusedoneoft hesoft
whi t
et owelstodryhersel
fandmassagedsomeof
thecr eamybodyl ot
ionfrom t
hebat hroom intoher
skin.Herbodyf el
thypersensiti
ve,ashermi ndkept
dri
ftingtot hedar
kandbr oodingl
yat t
racti
veman
whoseeyesseemedt oseerightthr
oughher .

Herwardrobewaslimi
ted,t
osayt hel
east,sointhe
endshedecidedonapairofsil
kyharem pantsina
deeprust
ycolor.I
twasawar m eveni
ng,andthe
l
ightcot
tonfabr
icsshepref
err
edwer esuit
ablefor
suchweat
her
.

Ontop,
sheworeabeadedbl
ouseofemer
aldgr
een,
whi
chtiedar
oundt
hewaist
.

Mayaknewi
twaspr
obabl
ynott
heki
ndofat
ti
rehe
was

usedtoseei
ngonawoman,butthi
swasherst
yle
ofdressandi
fhedi
dn’
tli
kei
t,t
hentoughf
orhi
m.

Brushingherlonghairunti
litshone,
sheaddeda
touchofmascar atohereyelashesandat i
nted
glosstoherli
ps.Then,tryi
ngt oquel
lthequi
veri
ng
butter
fli
esinherstomach,shemadeherway
downst ai
rsagain.

Raj
ivwasint
heprocessofpouri
nghi
msel
fadr
ink
whensheent
eredthedrawi
ngroom.Het
oohad
changedshenot i
ced.Thebusinesssuitwasgone
and,ini t
spl ace,hewaswear ingabl ackshi
rt,
openedatt het hroat,andapairofblackt
rousers.
Hishai rlookedsl ightl
ydampandsheguessedhe
hadr ecentlyst eppedoutoftheshower .I
magesof
him nakedi nt heshowerpoppedi nt
ohermi ndand
i
ttookal lhersel f-contr
olt
ogreethimi nacooland
confidentmanner .

“Hi.
”Hisgazetr
aveleddownthelengt
hofherand
slowlyupagai
n.“CanIgetyousomethingt
odri
nk?”

“Um, adrywhit
ewine,
ifyouhaveit
?”Mayarepli
ed,
sli
dingherhandsi
ntothepocket
sofherpants.

Herai
sedaneyebrow.“
Sureyoudon’twant
somet
hingst
ronger?AGinandtoni
coraMar t
ini
per
haps?”

“
Not
hanks,
”sher
epl
ied.“
Idon’
tnor
mal
lydr
ink
spi
rit
s.”Hesmi l
edwrylyandshewishedshedi
dn’t
soundsopr im.Sheseatedher
sel
fononeofthe
set
tees,andthenwishedshehadn’twhenhe
passedhertheglassofwineandloweredhi
mself
downbesi deher.

Hewascl oseenoughforhert osmel l

thecl
ean
soapysmellthatemanatedfrom hisbody.She
couldseethethi
cklashesthatfringedhi
seyesand
thesmoothdarkskinstret
chedt autl
yoverhi
s
cheekbones.

“Well
,aren’
tyougoingtotr
yit
?”heaskedsoft
ly,and
thenseeingherconfusi
onaddedwi
thasmi l
e,“The
wine,i
sitdryenough?MostIndi
anpeoplepr
efer
sweeterwine.
”

“
It
’sl
ovel
y,
”sher
epl
ied,
aft
ert
aki
ngasmal
lsi
p.

Hewaspl
ayi
ngwi
thher
,tr
yingt
ounset
tl
eher
.Why?
Andwhywasherbodyr espondingtohiminthis
way?Shetookadeepsteadyingbreathandstar
ed
downatthewinei
nhergl ass,
af l
areofanger
begi
nni
nginsi
deher.Thismanwasnotgoi ngto
over
powerherwit
hhissexualmagnet i
sm.

“I
ssomet hi
ngbot
her
ingyou,
”heasked.“
Youseem
nervous?
”

“Woulditpl
easeyouifIwere?”sheasked,
givi
ng
him oneofhercool
estlooks.

Hel aughedandherheadj erkedupt ostareathim

i
nshock.God, howdi f
ferenthel ooked!Theireyes
l
ocked.Hewasst i
llgrinning,l
ookingsexyashel l
,
andMaya’ sinsidest urnedt omush.Shecoul dn’
t
stopstari
ngatt helittl
elaught erli
nesthatfanned
hiseyesandhowt hehumorhadsof tenedhis
chisell
edfeatures.
“Youknowyou’r
enotatal
lwhatIexpect
edei
ther
,”
hesaidfi
nal
lyasthel
aught
erdi
edaway.

“Isupposethatbegsthequesti
on—whatdi
dyou
expect?”Shekepthertonecool
.

Heleanedback,obser
vingherthr
oughhalfcl
osed
l
ids.“That
’sat
ri
ckyquestiontoanswer
,”hesaid
soft
ly.

Mayahel dhisgazewi thdi ffi

cult
yandwai t
ed, not
sayinganythi
ngunt i
lfinallyhecont i
nued.“ Yousee
I’
venevermetandofJay’ sgi r
lf
riendsbef ore.”This
didnotsurpri
seher ,
butsher ef
rainedfrom sayi ng
so.“I’
vemetal otofhisf r
iends, mal eandf emal e,
butnoonespeci al—Idon’ tthink.SoIwasn’ treall
y
surewhattoexpect ,butIt hinkper hapsyou’ re…”He
pausedasi fsearchi
ngf ort herightwor ds.“ …more
maturethanwhatIi magi ned. ”
Mayasmi
led.“
Igett
oldt
hatal
ot,
act
ual
ly.
”

“
Irat
herguessedyouwoul
d,”her
espondedr
uef
ull
y.

Mayatri
ed,butshesi
mplycoul
dnotdr
agher
sel
f
f
rom t
helazyinti
macyofhi
sgaze.

Thesoundoff ootst
epsappr
oachi
ngwasahear
tfel
t
rel
iefandsheturnedtosmil
eweakl
yasthe
housekeepercamei nt
ovi
ew.

Mrs.Tr
avi
sbeamed, heraf
fect
ionfort
heman
obvi
ous.“
Dinneri
sready,Mist
erRaji
v.”

Ther oom t
heyatei
nwasnott hemaindiningroom.
Itwast oosmal
l,
Mayaguessed, andtoointi
mate
forherpeaceofmind.Butsheneedn’
thavewor ri
ed.
Raji
vMaddoxwasonhi sbestbehavi
or.The
chargedandint
imateatmosphereshe’dsensed
beforeseemedmer el
yaf igmentofheri maginat i
on.
Hecoul dcertainlybeachar mi ngandenter
taining
hostwhenhewant edt o,t
elli
ngheraboutt hepl aces
he’
dt raveledt o,sadandf unnyst ori
es,
especially
aboutI ndia,whi chfascinatedhermostofal l.So,
wit
ht hedel ici
ousI ndiancui sine,super
bwine, and
candlelitatmospher e,Mayaf oundshewasenj oying
herselfmor et hansheoughtt o.

“
Yourname,Maya,”heobser
vedt owar
dtheendof
t
hemeal.“
It
’sI
ndian,i
sitanickname?”

“No.
”Shesmil
ed.“
Myparent
sspentsometi
mein
Indi
abefor
eIwasbor
nandtheyobvi
ousl
yli
kedt
he
name.”

“Real
ly?Weretheylikehippies,
traveli
nground
Indi
a?”Shecouldn’
thel plaughi
ngatt hepict
ureof
herparent
sbeingdescr i
bedashi ppies,andhe
star
edbackather ,
hi sblueeyesdar keni
ng.“
What?”
Sheshookherhead.“ It
’sj
usttheideaofmyparent
s
ashippies.Theywereteachers,
primar
yschool
teacher
si nCalcut
ta,
”shesaid.

“
Isee,
andar
etheyst
il
lteachi
ngnow?
”

“Mymot hersti
llt
eachespar
t-
ti
me,thoughshe’
s
vi
sit
inghersisteri
nSouthAfri
car
ightnow,
”she
sai
d.“Butmyf atherdi
ed—al
mostfouryear
sago.”

“I
’
m sor
ry.Hemusthavebeenqui
etyoungwhenhe
di
ed.
”

Hi
sexpr
essi
onwassympathet
icandshewonder
ed
i
fhewasremember
inghi
sownf at
her
.

“Yesi
twasadi
ff
icul
tti
me—cancer.
”Shet
ri
edto
keept
hepai
nfr
om hervoi
ce.“
Ithi
nkmymother’
s
onl
yjustst
art
ingt
ogetoveri
tnow.
”

“
Doyouhaveanybr
other
sorsi
ster
s?”heasked.

“No,I’m anonl
ychild,
”sheanswered,
tryi
ngto
l
ightenhertone.“You’
reverygoodatdrawing
peopleoutyouknow.Per hapsyoushouldhave
studiedpsychol
ogy.”

Hef
rowned.“
Ist
hatwhatI
’
m doi
ng?Idi
dn’
treal
ize.

Coul
dn’
titbet
hatI
’
mjusti
nter
est
edi
nyou?
”

“
Youmeani
nwhatmakesmet
ick.
”

“Youmakeitsoundcal
culated,
li
keI’
vegotsome
kindofhi
ddenagenda?”Hiseyeshel
dhers.“What
i
si t
,Maya?Areyouafr
aidofme? ”
Shel
aughed,i
gnori
ngherbody’
sresponseever
y
ti
mehesaidhername.“Shoul
dIbe?”

Heseemedt otaket
hequesti
onquit
eseriousl
y,
pausi
ngforamoment .“
No,youshouldn’
t.Aslong
asyouri
nteresti
nmybrotheri
sgenuine,
youhave
nothi
ngt
of earfr
om me.
”

“
JayandIhaveal
wayshadeachother
’sbest
i
nter
est
sathear
t,
”shesai
dcaref
ull
y.

“We’
reveryworri
edabouthi
m,youknow,”he
murmured,hi
slean,
darkfi
nger
stwist
ingthest
em
ofhi
swineglass.

HestaredacrossatherandMayaf el
tamixtur
eof
awarenessandguiltast
heireyeslockedonceagain.
Ifonl
yhewasn’ tsodamnat t
ract
ive,shet
hought,
andsodanger ous.
Thiswasnotamantofoolwi
thandJayhadputher
i
nadi f
fi
cul
tposi
ti
on.I
twasobviouswhatthe
probl
em was,
buti
twasnothersecrett
otell
.

“
Youhaveaver
yexpr
essi
vef
ace.
”

Hiswor
dsstar
tl
edher.Couldher
eadhermind?She
shi
ft
eduncomfor
tabl
ytryi
ngnott
olookal
armed.

“WhydoIgetthefeel
ingthatyou’
rehi
ding
somethi
ngfr
om me, Maya?”Thosedark,bl
ueeyes
seemedtopenetr
atehersoul.
Chapt
er4

“I’
m sorryt
hatyouf eelt
hatway,”Mayasaid,
runningtheti
pofhert onguealongherparched
upperlip.“
AllIcansayisthatI’
lldomybestasf ar
asJayi sconcerned.”Thi
satleastwastrue.
Raj i
vsighedraki
nghi sfinger
st hr
oughhi shairand
rubbedt hebackofhisneck.Mayaexper iencedthe
craziestdesi
retogor oundandmassagehi saching
muscl es,t
ofeelthetensionslowlyeasef rom hi
s
l
ean, hardbody.“IguessI ’
mj ustgraspi
ngat
straws,”hesaidroughly.“You’l
lhavetofor gi
veme.
Idon’tusuall
yaccusemyguest sofdeceit.”

Itwasaper fectsummer ’
sni ghtandRaj i
vwi shed
hewasi nt her ightframeofmi ndtoenjoyit,buthe
wasn’ t.Nor mal l
y,hel ovedsi tt
ingouther eont he
patioover lookingt hel ushgar deninwhi chheand
Jayhadpl ayedaschi ldren—atl eastwhent heir
fatherwasn’ taround.HadJaybeenasunhappyas
hehad, Raj i
vwonder ed.Theyhadbot hsufferedat
thehandsoft heirfather ,nomat terhowRaj ivhad
tri
edt opr otecthi syoungerbr otherfr
om their
bullyingfat her.He’dmar riedtheirmothersimpl yfor
herf amily’sweal th.Const antl
yremindinghi ssons
thatt heywer ehalf-breeds, notsomethingtobe
proudof , i
nhi sopi nion.Hi smot herhadsuf fered
too,hisdr inkingandwomani zingwel lknown, and
shehadsuf feredthehumi l
iationindi gni f
iedsilence.
Thingshadbeeneasi ersincet heoldman’ sdeat h.
Oratl easti tfeltt
hatwayt oRaj i
v.Sanj ayhadbeen
freetodr opoutofst udyingl aw, whi chhi sfather
hadi nsistedhest udy.Raj ivhadencour agedhi mto
wor kongai ningadegr eei ntheAr t
s, somet hing
Sanjayhadal wayshadapassi on,andt al
entfor ,
andhi sbr otherhadseemedr eallyhappydoi ng
whathe’ dal waysdr eamedof .Yes, Sanj ayhad
alwaysbeent hemor esensi tiveone, buthe’dnever
beent hesi lent,withdrawnper sont hathehadnow
become.

SinceMayahadgonet obedaboutanhourago,
Rajivhadbeensi t
tingoutheretryingtofigureout
whatt hehellwasgoingon.Hecoul dhaveswor n
shewashi di
ngsomet hi
ngand, atonemoment
duringdinner,he’
dhadt ostophimselff r
om
grabbingandshaki ngher.Hesmi ledcynicall
yto
himself.Thatwouldhavecer tai
nlyrat
tledLitt
le
MissCool .Infact
,itwouldgivehim greatpleasur
e
togetunderherski n,andunderhercl othestoo,he
admi ttedruefull
yt ohimsel f.Yes, t
hei deaofgetting
beneat hthoser atherbohemi ancl othesofher s
causedadef i
nit
et hrobofexci t
ementi nhislower
region.Butt herapidr eali
zat i
ont hatitwashi s
brother ’
sgirl
fri
endhewasl ust i
ngoverbr oughthis
l
itt
lef antasytoanabr uptend.I nst ead,his
i
magi nat i
onbeganconj uri
nguppi cturesofJay
doingt hedi r
tydeed.Raj i
vroseabr uptlyoutofthe
chair.Thei deaofhi sbr otherandMayamaki ng
passionat elovewasnotapl easantone.

Itseemedcr azy, buthewasawar eofadi sti

nctl
y
possessi vefeelingt owardher.Well,you’dbett
er
l
oosei tbuster,het oldhimself
.Thewomanwasnot
hist opossessand, besi
des,hedidn’teventrusther
.
Justbecauseshewasyoungandbeaut i
ful
,witha
bodyt odi efor,didn’tmeant herewasn’tadevious
mi ndlurkingbeneat hital
l.Heneededt ogetCar l
ton
todoabackgr oundcheckonherf i
rstthi
ng
tomor row.Heshoul dhavedonei tbeforeshe’d
arrived,buthehadn’ texpectedhertobesuchan
eni
gma.Heneededtoknowmoreabouther
.Hehad
tof
indoutwhati
twasshewashidi
ng.

Hewal kedtotheendofthepatioandfelthi
seyes
drawnt owar
dherbedroom window.Thecur t
ains
wer ecl
osedbutther
ewasasl iverofl
ightshi
ning
through.Soshetoowasstil
lawake.

Whatwasshet hinki
ngabout ?Pict
ur esofherlyi
ng
nakedinbedent eredhiswaywar dmi nd,her
copperyhai
rspr eadoutont hepill
owandhergr een
eyessensualandi nvit
ing…Withagr oanof
i
mpat i
ence,Rajivmadehi swaybacki nt
othehouse
andheadedf ortheliquorcabinet
.Itwasgoi ngtobe
alongnight
.

•
•

Mayawashavingbreakf
astthef
oll
owingmorning
whenJayt
elephoned.Raj
ivhadl
eftfort
heof
fice
earl
ythatmor
ning,she’
dbeeninfor
med, andwas
expect
edbackaroundmi ddayt
odriveherto
Wilt
shir
e.

Mr sTravisbroughtthecordl essphonet hrought o

her,andshecoul dn’thelpfeelingli
kesomeoneout
ofaHol lywoodmovi e,sit
ti
ngi nt hesamer oom that
they’ddinedinthenightbef ore,withthesunshi ni
ng
throught hel
ongwi ndows, aspr eadoff r
eshf r
uit,
cereal,
cr i
spybacon, eggs,toast,coff
ee,andf r
uit
j
uicesetoutj ustforher.

“
Maya,
areyout
her
e?”shehear
dJayaskanxi
ousl
y.

“
Jay,
yesI
’
m her
e.Howar
eyou,
dar
li
ng?
”

“Fi
ne,Igotyourtextyester
daysayi ngthatyou’
d
arr
ivedsafel
y.”Hepaused.“ Sorr
yIdi dn’
tgetback
toyou,butI’
vebeenpr eoccupiedlatel
y,asyoucan
i
magi ne.
”
“That’
sokay,Jay,
”sheassuredhim.“I
t’
llbemuch
easieroncewe’r
eablet
ot al
kface-t
o-f
ace.”

“Oh,Maya,
it’
ssogoodt ohearyourvoi
ce,
”hesaid
wit
hsomeent husi
asm.“Ican’
twaittoseeyou.I
needsomenor mali
tyar
oundmeandnoone’ smore
normalt
hanyou, l
ove.
”

“IguessI’
llhavetotaket hatasacompli
ment.”She
l
aughed,wonder i
ngi fRajivhadbeenexaggerat
ing
hisbrot
her’sstat
eofmi nd.Hesoundedquit
e
upbeattoher.“Butseriously,Jay,
howareyou?
Yourbrotherseemswor ri
ed.”

“OhGod, hi
m andmot heraredr i
vingmecr azy.
Worry,worry,
worry.It
hinkIndianpeopl ehave
perf
ectedtheartofworryi
ng.I’vebeenabi tlow
that
’sall
.Youknowi t’
snotverypl easantbei
ng
dumped, ormaybeyoudon’ tknow, ”headdedwi t
ha
bi
tt
erlaugh.“Betyou’
veneverbeendumpedbef
ore.
You’
refartoobeautif
ul.
”

Mayasi
ghed,heari
ngt henot
eofdespai
rbeneat
h
hi
shumoroustone,“Soyouhaven’
thear
dfrom hi
m
si
ncel
eavi
ngEdinbur gh?”

“Notevenawhisper,”heansweredti
ghtl
y.“Butst
uff
him.It
’syouIcan’twaitt
osee.Onlyprobl
em iswe’l
l
havetowaitanotherday.
”

“
ButIt
houghtyourbr
otherwasdr
ivi
ngmeover
t
oday.
”

“Iknow,Iknow,buthe’sj
ustcall
edusf rom t
he
offi
ceandthere’
ssomeki ndofbusinessmeet i
ng
that’
staki
nglongerthanheexpected—it’
salways
somet hi
ngwithhim—soyou’llbeleavi
ngearly
tomorrowmor ni
ng,i
nstead.
”Hepaused.“ Areyou
okaywi t
hthat?”
“Yes,ofcourse,
Iam,”shesai
dquickl
y,butanot
her
eveningalonewithRaji
vMaddoxcausedashiverof
nerves,orwasitexci
tement
,tocour
sethroughher
body.

“Sowhatdi dyouthi
nkofmydear l
ybel
ovedbrother
then?”askedJay,asi
fablet
oreadhermind.“I
hopeyoudi dn’
tswoonli
keallt
heother
s.Butyou’r
e
notthetypetoswoon,ar
eyou? ”

“Jay!Yourbrot
herhasbeenver
yhospi
tabl
e.”She
couldn’
tthi
nkofanythi
ngelset
osay.

“Hashebeengi
vingyout
het
hir
ddegr
ee—aboutme,
Imean?”

“He’
sveryconcer
nedaboutyouandI
—Ifelthewas
hopi
ngIcouldhelpi
nsomeway.Oh,Jay,hemade
mefeelsoguil
ty!
”
“God,Maya,I’
m sosorr
y.I’
veputyouinadif
fi
cul
t
posit
ion.Chr
ist
,whatam Igoi
ngt odowit
hmyl i
fe?
”
Hisvoicewassuddenlyfi
ll
edwithangui
sh.

“Jaydarl
ing,it
’sokay,
”shesaidhurr
iedl
y.“I
’l
lbe
ther
etomor rowandwe’ l
ltal
kthi
sthrough.We’l
l
workitout.Youjustneedsomeonet otal
ktothat’
s
all
.Toputt hi
ngsinperspecti
ve.
”

Herwor dsseem tocal

m him down.“You’
reri
ght,
Maya.Ineedsomecompany, someonewhoIcan
bemysel fwit
h.God,Ican’
twaitfortomorr
ow.”His
toneli
ghtenedupal i
tt
le.“
Butwhataboutyou,what
areyougoingt odowithyour
selftoday?
”

“
Ohgosh,t
her
e’ssomuchtoseeher
e.MaybeI’
l
lgo
t
otheTat
eModern.I
’
vebeendyingt
oseeit
.”

Af
terr
eassur
ingJayt
hatshewasper
fect
lyabl
eto
fi
ndherwayar oundLondon,
theyendedthecall
,
andMayast ar
edoutofthewindow,fr
owning.The
soonerthet
ruthwasknownthebetter
,shecouldn’
t
helpt
hinki
ng.

Itwast urningoutt obeanot herbeautifuldayand,

af t
erchangi ngintoavi ol
etankle-
lengthski r
tanda
whi tecot tonblouse, Mayat hrewalightcot t
on
sar ongi ntoherover sizedbagandr andownt he
mar blestaircase.Ittookagoodf ewmi nutesto
l
ocat eMr sTr avisinthehugehouse.Whenshe
finallyfoundher ,Mayament i
onedthatshewas
goingsi ghtseeingandwoul dbebackl ater.Shewas
i
mpat ientt ogetouti ntothesunshineandenj oythi
s
unexpect eddayi nt hebigcity.

Shedecidedt
ot akethebusrathert
hanthe
Undergr
ound.Itwouldgiveherachancetotakei
n
thesi
ghtsofLondononherwayt otheTat
e
Modern—oneoft helar
gestandmostpopular
MuseumsofModer nArtint
hewor l
d.
Thehugebuil
ding,positi
onedrightontheSouth
BankoftheThames, wasar enovatedPower
Stat
ionbui
lti
ntheear l
ierpar
toft hetwenti
eth
centur
yandsimplybeaut i
ful
,oratleastshethought
so.Shewasnotinahur r
ytoent ert
hebuildi
ng,
quit
ehappytosavorthesunshi neandt heri
verand
thebeaut
yoftheAr tDecobrickbuildi
ngtowering
aboveher.

Finally, shewenti nsideandl ostherselfinthewor l

d
ofar t
.Thepl acewassohuget hatbyfouro’ clock
shehadseenper hapsj ustaquar terofthewor kson
display.Ther ewasnowayshewoul dgettoseeal l
ofitinoneday, sher eal
ized,and,besides,shewas
feeli
nghungr y.Onherwaydownt heescalator ,she
spot t
edacaf éoverlookingther i
verandcoul dn’t
resistt akingaseatbyt hewi ndowandor dering
hersel fcof f
eeandasandwi ch.

Si
tt
ingt
her
ewi
tht
heaf
ter
noonsunwar
mingher
skin,Mayar ealizedhowgoodi thadbeent oal l
ow
hermi ndtoescapef oraf ewhour s.Butnow, even
witht hemagni ficentvi ewspr eadoutbef oreher ,
shecoul dn’
tpr eventhert hought sf rom st r
ayi ng
backt oJayand, ofcour se,Raj i
vMaddox.Lastni ght
hadbeenunner vingt osayt heleast ,andnotj ust
becauseofhi ssuspi cions, butal soherunexpect ed
reactiont ohim.Shehadl ainawakef orages
ponder i
ngoni t.Whywasshesoawar eoftheman?
Nor mal l
y,shewasqui tecoolandsel f-contained
wher emenwer econcer ned.Itwassomet hingshe
hadl earnedovert heyear s,somet hingt hatcame
withhavi ngt odeal wi t
hmenandt hei rreactionst o
her.Shewasnotavai nper son.Inf act ,she
somet i
mesf eltherl i
fewoul dbeal oteasi erwi thout
theat tenti
ont hatherl ooksandhei ghtseemedt o
attr
act ,butshe’ dl earnedt ol i
vewi thit .

Duri
nghert i
meatsecondar yschool ,
she’dgone
fr
om beingat al
l
,ginger
-hai
red,gawkyt eenager,
who’dbeenmadef unofbyherf el
lowst udent
sand
hadtransf
ormedi ntoasli
m, shapelyyoungwoman
who’ dattractedtoomuchat tent
ionfrom t hemal e
students.Andshe’ df eltmor ecomf ortabledeal ing
withthet easingj okest hant hesexualat tentiont hat
foll
owedherphysi calt r
ansi t
ion.Thi
ngshad
becomeeasi eronceshe’ dgoneont ouni versityand
especiallyonceshe’ dmetJay.Theyhadhungout
togetherinasmal lgroupoff ri
endsandmost
peoplehadassumedt heywer eacoupl e,whi chhad
suitedherj ustfine.She’ dal waysfeltmor emat ure
thanmostoft heot herr owdyst udents,exceptJay
ofcour se,andt hatwaswhyi twassopuzzl ingt hat
shef el
tal mostlikeat eenageragai nwi thRaj iv
Maddox.Andkeepi ngsecr etsfr
om him made
thingsevenmor ecompl icated.

Howwoul dher eacttot

hef actthathi
sbr ot
herwas
gay?Washet heki ndofmacho- manwhodespi sed
homosexualit
yandsawi tasunnat ural
?She
cert
ainl
yhopednot .Hedidn’tcomeacr ossas
macho—mascul inecert
ainl
y—butnotmacho.She
shi
vered—alltoomasculi
nef orherpeaceofmi nd.
Wast hatwhatthiswasallabout ?Wasshej ust
sexual
lyawareofhim?Just!Shehadn’tspentf
our
yearsstudyi
ngpsychol
ogywithoutlear
ningabout
thepowerofsex.Itwasneverjustsex.
Chapt
er5
Mayast aredoutatt her i
verasherf ingersf i
dgeted
rest
lesslywit
ht heempt ycof f
eecup.Somet imes
shefeltshe’
dr eadmor eaboutt hepowerofsex
thanshewoul deverexper ience.Thef actthatshe
wasst il
lavir
ginatt heageoft went y-onewasnot
somet hi
ngshewasashamedof ,butitwaspr ivate.
Jayknewandherbestf r
iend, Josie,knewshe’ d
neverhadaser i
ousboyf riend.Butt henshe’ dnever
metanyonewhoshe’ dwant edtohavesexwi th.In
fact
,upunt i
lyesterdayshewoul dhavesai dthat
sexwassomet hingt hatdidn’treallyexciteher.But
nowshewasn’ tsosur e.

Finally,
sheleftt
heTat eModernandstrol
led,wit
h
al
lt heothertour
ists,
alongtheri
ver
bank,sti
lll
ostin
hert hought
s.Afterawhile,
shecrossedoneoft he
bridgesandmadeherwayt owar
dtheWestEnd,
enjoyingt hehustleandbust l
eoft ouri
sts,str
eet
vendor s,andobliviousof fi
cewor kers.Thesunwas
sti
llshini
ngbr ightly,
soi twaswi thsomesur pri
se
thatsher eali
zedi twasal mostseveno’ cl
ock.Not
surewhi chbust ocat ch,shedecidedt osplurgeand
hailedabl ackcab, givinghimt headdr essin
Knightsbr i
dge.

Eventhetaxidriverlookedimpr essedastheypull
ed
upoutsi
det heel egantwhiteent rancetothehouse.
Mayapaidt hefar eand,takingadeepbr eat
h,
cl
imbedthest eps, wonderingi fRajivwasther
eor
not.I
tdi
dn’ttakeherl ongt ofindout .

Thef
rontdoorwasf
lungopenbytheveryman
who’
dbeenonhermindformostoftheday.

“Wheret
hehellhaveyoubeen? ”Hissabl
ehai rwas
ruf
fl
edasifhe’
dbeenr akinghi
sf i
ngersthroughit
andhist
iewasaskew, thetopbuttonofhisshir
t
undone.
Tooshockedt
osayanyt
hing,
Mayaj
ustst
oodt
her
e
andst
aredathi
m.

“Comeinsi
de,f
orGod’
ssake,
”hemutt
ered,
standi
ngbackassheent
eredt
hehouse.

“Hassomethi
nghappenedt
oJay?
”sheaskedwi
th
suddendr
ead.

“Nonothi
ng’
shappenedtoJay,
”heanswer
edashis
eyesr
akedoverher
.“Itwasyouwewereworr
ied
about
,

Goddammi
t.
”

Maya’
seyeswi
denedi
nsur
pri
se.“
Me?Whyon
ear
th—”
“Becauseit’
snearl
yeighto’
clock,that
’swhy.”He
slammedt hedoorshutandst oodoverher,hisface
ti
ghtwithanger.“
Andasyou’ renotfamil
iarwith
Londonwewer ebeginningtot hi
nktheworst.”

“Sother
eyouar e,
miss.”Mrs.Tr
avi sappearedand
Mayawasr el
ievedtoseehersmi l
ing.“It
oldMister
Raji
vyoumusthavej ustf
orgott
ent hetime.It
’s
easi
lydoneinthesummer t
ime,isn’tt
hatright
?”

Mayanodded,
smi
li
nggr
atef
ull
ybackatt
heol
der
woman.

“Youdon’tknowLondon, ”hesaid,
ignoringthe
housekeeper.“It
’sabig,
dangerousci t
y,Ihatet
o
thi
nk—”Hebr okeoff
,tur
ningawayf rom bothof
them andmaki nghiswayt owar
dst hedrawing
room.
Mayastoodt
here,unsureofwhatt
odonext ,
when
MrsTravi
sof
feredtomakeheracupoft ea.“You
gothr
oughwit
hhi m,”shesai
dsoft
ly.“
He’l
lprobabl
y
cal
m downnowt hatheknowsyou’
resafe.
”

Taki
ngadeep,br
eathMayaturnedandf ol
lowed
hi
mi nt
othedr
awingroom onshakylegs.

*
**

So,di
dyouhaveanenj oyabl
eday?”heasked
ter
sel
y,aft
erpouri
nghimselfameasureofwhisky
andtaki
ngar at
herlar
geswig.

Mayast oodawkwardl
yinthemi ddleoftheroom,
feeli
ngli
keanaughtychil
d,wonderinghowhe
managedt odri
nksomuchandyetneverseem
effect
edbyit.“
Yes,
veryenjoyable,
”shemanaged.
“Iguessthat
’swhyIdidn’
treal
izehowl atei
twas.
”
“Andwheredi
dyougo? ”hecont
inued,
regar
ding
herwi
ththosedi
stur
bing,bl
ueeyes.

“TotheTateModer n,
”sheanswer ed,wishi
ngshe
werenotsosuscept i
bletohispierci
nggaze.“
I’
ve
wantedtoseeitforages,sowhenJaycal l
edand
sai
dwewer en’
tleavi
ngtil
ltomorrow…”She
shruggedhersli
m shoulders.“
I’
m sorryyouwere
worri
ed.Ishouldhavereali
zedthet i
me.”

“Forgetit
.Youneedt ogivemeyourmobi lenumber
.
Icouldhavecal l
edandal lt
hisdramawouldhave
beenavoi ded,
”hemut t
ered,sett
ingdownthenow-
empt yglassandthrust
inghishandsintohis
trouserpockets.“
IguessIover r
eact
ed.Youcan
obviouslytakecareofyourself
,andI’
mtoooldtobe

pl
ayi
ngt
heanxi
ousnur
semai
d.”

“
You’
renotol
d!”shebl
urt
edwi
thoutt
hinki
ng.
Hi
smout hcurvedsar
doni
call
y.“I
’mthi
rt
yoneyear
s
ol
d,Maya.Thatmustseem anci
entt
oyou.”

Mayamoistenedherli
ps.“Why?DoImakeyouf
eel
ol
d?”sheasked,suddenl
ybreat
hless.

Hi
seyesnarr
owedonherfullsoftmout
h.“Yes,
you
makemefeelol
d,butmaybeit’
ssafert
hatway.
”

Aquiverofner
vousexci
tementover
tookher
.“What
doyoumean? ”

“For
getit
.”Hisvoicewasunexpectedlyharshand
hepushedhisfingersthr
oughhishairimpat i
ently.
“Iwasgoingtoinvit
eyououtfordinnertonight,but
Iguessyou’r
etir
edaf t
eryoureventf
uldayout .”

Mayacaughtherbr
eat
h.“
No,
notatal
l—ImeanI
’
d
l
ovet
ogooutf
ordi
nner
,ifyoust
il
lwantt
o,t
hati
s.”

Hearchedamocki ngbrow.“
OfcourseIdo.It
’s
al
waysapl easuretotakeabeauti
fulwoman
out
—eveni fshedoesmakemef eelqui
teancient
.”
Hesmiledwr yl
y.“Shal
lwemeetbackher ei
nabout
anhourthen? ”

Shenoddedinagr
eement,tryi
ngtoquellt
hethr
il
l
thatr
anthr
oughheratthethoughtofspendi
ngthe
eveni
ngoutwit
hhim.“Okay.”

Upstai
rsinherroom Mayahadaqui ckshowerand
washedherhair.Shef oundapower fulhairdr
yeri
n
thebathr
oom cabinetandf i
nger-dr
iedherhair,
whil
ehermi ndbuzzedwi thnervousexci t
ement.He
wasjustbeingkind,shetoldhersel
fsober l
y,i
nvit
ing
heroutforaninnocentdinnerinthebigci t
y.Ther
e
wasnoneedt or eactl
ikeanaïveschool gi
rlouton
herfi
rstdat
e.
Bythet i
meshe’ dchangedintoavi nt
age, ankle
l
engthdr essedgedwi thl
aceatthebodi ce,shef el
t
cal
merandmor eincontr
olofherself.Withherhair
hangingsleekandl oosedownherbackandsome
smokyeye- shadowaddedt oherlids,shesl i
ppeda
soft
,blackcardiganoverhershoulder sandmade
herwaydownst ai
rswithfi
veminut estospar e.

Rajivwasatt hebot tom oft hestaircase,talkingto

Mr sTravis,andhisgazel i
ftedatt hesoundofher
heeledsandal sont hemar bleti
les.Het oohad
changedi ntoapai rofblackt rousersandmat ching
j
acketwi t
hawhi teshi r
topenedathi sdar kbrown
throat
.Mayaf el
therst omachmuscl est i
ghtenas
hiseyesmether s,darkandbr ooding.Thi smanwas
fartooexper i
encedanddanger ous, sher eali
zed,
andsheshoul dstayasf arawayf r
om hi m as
possible.Herbodywast ell
ingadi fferentstory,
though, asherbreast sswel l
edbeneat hhi sintent
gaze.
“
Youlooklovel
y,miss!
”MrsTravi
sexclai
medas
Mayareachedthebott
om oft
hestai
rs.“Doesn’
tshe,
MrRaji
v?”

“
Quitel
ovel
y,MrsTr
avi
s,
”herepl
iedsof
tl
y,hi
seyes
l
ockedonher.“
Shal
lwegothen?
”

Itwasawar m eveningandMayaf oundher self

slowlyrel
axing,enjoyingt hedrive,star i
ngkeenl y
outthewi ndowast heypassedt hef amoushot els
alongParkLaneandmadet hei
rwayt owardt he
WestEnd.Raj i
vinstructedBi j
altodr ivepastsome
ofthemai ntouristattr
act i
ons,wat chi ngindulgentl
y
assheexpr essedherdel i
ghtatt hef lashinglights
ofPiccadill
yCircusandt helegendar yt heatres
alongShaf t
sburyAvenue, advertisingt heir
celebrat
edst ar
s.

Event
ual
ly,
theyst
oppedout
sideaFr
ench
restauranti nanar rowsidestreetofSoho, andRaji
v
i
nf ormedBi j
althattheywouldmaket hei
rownway
homebyt axi.Heseemedt obeaconsi derate
empl oyer,shecoul dn’thelpt
hinking,ashel edher
towar dtheent r
anceofwhatl ookedlikeasmal lbut
exclusiver estaurant.Mayaadmi redtheintimat
e,
candlelitatmospher easthemanagergr eetedRajiv
andshowedt hem toasecludedt abl
e.

Althoughshehadbeenconcer nedt hattheevening

mightbeabi tofast r
ainaftertheear li
erdrama,
Rajivpr ovedhi mselfbothamusi ngandqui t
eskilf
ul
atgettinghert oopenupandt alkabouther sel
f.He
wasanat t
entiveli
stener,whoaskedi ntell
igent
questions.Mayaf oundher selftell
inghim aboutt he
organizat i
onshewoul dbeginwor kingforin
Edinbur ghint heautumnandt heirwor kwi th
di
sadvant agedchildrenandyout h.

Thefoodwasdelici
ous.Shehadinvi
tedRaji
vto
chooseforher
,asherknowledgeofFrenchf
ood
wasmi nimal.Scall
opsouf f
lé, f
oll
owedbygi gotof
l
ambser vedwithbabyveget ablesandal emonmi nt
ri
sott
owaswhatheor deredf orbothoft hem.She
savoredeverymout hf
ul,decidingFr enchcui si
ne
cameacl osesecondtoherf avorite,I
ndianf ood.
Raji
vlaughedwhenshet ol
dhi mt his,sayingitwas
i
mpossi bletocomparet hetwo.

Andso,wit
ht hewar m ambiance,divi
nefood,and
Raji
v’
sfl
atter
inginter
est,Mayaf oundhersel
f
rel
axi
ngandenj oyi
ngt heexquisi
tewinesthathe’
d
chosenaf
teraser i
ousconver sat
ionwiththe
manager.
Chapt
er6

Rajivtwist
edthest
em ofhi swineglassbet
weenhis
fi
nger si
nanunconsciouslycaressinggest
ureashe
watchedherspoontheor ange-i
nfusedpannacotta
i
ntohermout h.Shehaddi sposedoft hebl
ack
cardiganshe’
dbeenwear ingearl
ierandherbare
ski
ngl owedli
kesati
ninthesof tli
ght.Hecoul
dsee
theoutli
neofherbr eastspressi ngagai nstthef i
ne
l
aceofherdar kgr eendress.I twasobvi ousthat
shewaswear ingnot hingbeneat hitandhi sfingers
i
tchedt opusht henar rowst rapsof fhershoul ders
andwat chitfallaway.Hi shandt ightenedar ound
thewineglassashedr aggedhi seyesawayf rom
herbreasts.Shel ookedi ncrediblybeaut if
ulinthe
fl
icker
ingcandl el
ight,andhewasqui teawar ethat
hewasnott heonl ymal eint heroom t onot i
cet hi
s.
EventheFr enchwai t
erhadbeenhover i
ngar ound
l
ikesomecal l
owyout hunt i
lRaj i
vhadgi venhi ma
kil
li
nglookt hathadsenthi m onhi sway.

Whilehet oldhimselft hathewasdoi ngt hi

sforhis
brot
her’ssake, hewasuncomf ortablyawar ethathe
wasenj oyinghimsel ffarmor ethanheshoul d.She
wasinteresting—intelli
gent,besi
desbei ng
beauti
ful—andt otall
ydi ffer
entfrom thewomenhe
wasusedt o.Apar tofhi m wassavor ingevery
momentspentwi t
hher ,
whi l
eanot hersideofhi m
wasgr eatl
yr el
ievedt hattomorrowhewoul dbe
handingherovert oSanj ay.
Weret heylover
s?hewonder ed.Hef el
taknot
beginninginhisstomach.Woul dt heybesharinga
bedatCr anthor
pe?Hi smot hercertai
nlywouldnot
approve,butthentheycoul dalwayssneakar ound
aft
ereveryonewasasl eep.Godknew, he’ddoneit
oft
enenoughhi mselfi
nhi syoungerdays.He
for
cedhi mselfbacktot hepresent,notwanti
ngt o
thi
nkabouthi sbrotherandhert ogether.

“Sohowdi dJaysoundt oyouont hephonet oday?”

heasked, str
ivi
ngt okeephisbrot
her’
swel f
area
prior
it
y.“Actually,
hesoundedquitewell,
”she
repli
ed,givi
ngt hewaiteroneofherwinni
ngsmi les
ashedi screetl
yclearedthei
rtabl
e.

Shewasal it
tl
et i
psy.Hecoul
dt el
lbythewayher
eyessparkl
edandt hewarmflushofcoloronher
cheeks.Raj
ivleanedbackinhischai
r,tr
yingt
o
resi
stthepul
lofherchari
sma.
“You’
renotl
ist
eningtoawordI’
m sayi
ng,
areyou?
”
sheaccusedhim wit
hateasi
ngsmile.

Raj
ivshookhishead.“I
’m sor
ry,Imusthavedri
ft
ed.
Whatwer eyousayi
ng?”heshift
edrestl
essl
y,t
ryi
ng
t
oquellthesti
rr
ingheatbelowhisbel
t.

Shetookanot hersi
pofherwineandli
ckedthedar
k
moist
urefrom herli
ps.“
IwassayingI’
m goi
ngtodo
mybesttogi veJayagoodtimewhileI’
m at
Crant
horpe.”

Andwhatthehel
list
hatsupposedt
omean?Fora
secondRaj
ivt
houghthe’
dsaidthewor
dsoutl
oud.

“Thatsounds…hel
pful
,
”her espondedfi
nall
y,wit
ha
ti
ghtsmile,
tryi
ngtopreventhi
smi ndfr
om paint
ing
pict
uresofherandJayhavinga“ goodti
me”
toget
her.
“Tel
lmeaboutCr
anthor
pe,
”shesaidsof
tl
y,l
eani
ng
herel
bowsonthetabl
eandlooki
ngdeepint
ohis
eyes.

Raji
vforcedhi
smindtoconcentr
ateonher
questi
onand,i
gnor
ingthepul
singheatofhi
sbody,
di
dhisbesttoanswerher.

I
twasalmosteleven,
bytheti
met heyleftthe
r
estaur
antand,asMayaloweredherselfcareful
ly
i
ntothebackseatoft
hetaxi
,shereali
zedt hatthe
winehadgonetoherhead.

“Areyouokay?”Raj
ivenqui
red,
oncehe’
dset
tl
ed
himselfbesi
detoher.

“It
hinkIdrankabi tmorethanIshouldhave,
”she
sai
dwi thasigh,feel
inganalmostir
resi
sti
ble
i
mpul setorestherheadonhisbroadshoulder.
“I
’
llmakeyouacoffeewhenwegethome,
”he
st
ated,
ami xt
ureofconcer
nandamusementi
nhi
s
bl
ueeyesashegazedatherinthedi
mli
ght.

“Hmm, yescof
feesoundsgood.Thankyou,Raj
iv.
”
Sheyawnedandl eanedherheadbackagai
nstthe
seatofthet
axifeel
inghereyesdr
oopslowl
yclosed.

“
Maya,
wakeup,
we’
rehome.
”

Sheopenedhereyessl owlytofi
ndRaji
vbending
overher,
hisfi
ngersstroki
ngherbareshoul
derina
gentl
ecaressthatsentshi
versdownherarm and
causedherbreaststoswellandti
ght
en.Sheletout
asoftmoanandsawhi sexpressi
onchangetoone
ofconcern.

“
Areyouokay?
”heaskedt
ight
ly.
“Yes,yes.I
’
mf i
ne,
”shesai
d,drawingawayfrom
him asshetri
edtobr
ingherheatedsensesunder
control
.

Ithadt obet hewine,shet oldhersel

f,f
ornever
bef orehadsheexper i
encedsuchapower ful
responset oanyman’ st ouch.Hernipplesfeltoverl
y
sensi t
iveagainstthesmoot hf abr
icofherdressand
ther ewasawar m melt
ingf eel
ingbetweenher
thighs.Shecl i
mbedcar efullyoutofthetaxiand
wai tedwhilehepai dt
hedr iver,br
eathi
ngthef resh
nightai ri
ntoherlungsasherbodysl owlycool ed.

“Come,l
et’
sgoinsideandmakeyouast rong
coff
ee.
”Heunlockedthedoorand,pl
acingafir
m
handatthesmallofherback,
propel
ledhergent
ly
i
nside.

Onceagain,
Mayaf
eltherbodyqui
veri
nresponse
t
ohistouch.
Thehousewasqui etandi nsemi -
darknessashe
l
edhert owar dtheki t
chenwhi chwassi tuat edatthe
backoft hehouse.Eveni nherstateofdr owsy
sensuali
t y,Mayahadt oadmi rethelarger oom wi th
i
tswhi t
e-t i
ledf l
oor,soli
dwhi t
ecupboar ds, and
stai
nless-st eelaccessories.Mrs.Travi
smustbei n
herelementher e,Mayat hought ,
notici
nghow
spotl
esslycl eaneverythi
ngwasf rom t
hepr ist
ine
fl
oortot hemar ble-
toppedpl i
nthinthecent erofthe
room.

Therewasacounterwi
thsomehighst
oolsatone
endofther
oom andRaji
vpull
edoneoutforher.
“Canyoumanage?”heasked,
eyei
nghercauti
ously.

“Ofcour
seIcan,”shei
nsi
sted,
sti
fl
ingagi
ggl
eand
cli
mbedginger
lyontot
hehighchair
.

“
Ishoul
dn’
thaveor
der
edt
hatsecondbot
tl
eof
wine,
”hestat
edgriml
y,ashemovedwit
hgr
acef
ul
easeandfamil
iar
it
yaroundt
heki
tchen.

“I
t’
snobi gdeal
.I’
mj ustaweebitt
ipsyisal
l,
”she
sai
dsof t
ly,
heraccentmorepronouncedasshe
watchedhim pl
acetwocupsbeneat hthel
arge,
ult
ra
-modernGaggiacoff
eemaker.

“Wel
l,Idon’twantyouar r
ivi
ngatCranthorpewi
tha
ki
ng-si
zehangover ,
”hedr awled,
hissensualmout
h
cur
vingintoal azysmil
e.“Mymot herwouldbe
mostunimpr essed,It
hink.”

Heleanedhishipsagainstthemar blecounter
,and
eyedhercuriousl
yashewai tedforthecoffeecups
tofi
ll
.“You’r
equiteanenigma, ar
en’tyou?”he
remarked,st
udyingherface.“Coolandconf i
dent
onemi nut
eandal lunworl
dlyinnocencethenext.”

Mayal
etoutat
hroat
ylaugh.“
Youmakemesound
l
ikesomeki ndoffemmef atal
e.”Theef f
ectofthe
wine,toget
herwithhisdeeplymascul inepresence
wasaheadymi x.Shef el
tacr azyimpulsetoplay
thefemmef atal
e,towindherar msaroundhislean
hardbody,andmakehi mt ot
allyawareofherasa
woman.“ Surel
yI’m notthatir
resist
ibl
e.”She
moistenedherli
ps.“Am I ?
”

Hiseyesnar r
owedonherf ullmoistmouthandhe
strai
ghtenedupmovingslowl ytowardher
.“Don’t
playgameswi thmeMaya, ”headvisedsoft
ly,
stoppingri
ghtinfr
ontofher,hishandsgri
ppingthe
sidesofherstoolandeff
ectivel
ytrappi
ngher.
“You’vehadtoomucht odrinkandyoumaybi t
eoff
mor ethanyoucanchew.”

Mayaswallowedtight
ly.“Idon’
tknowwhatyou’r
e
t
alki
ngabout,”shesaid,heatpr
ickl
ingonherski
n.“
I
t
hinkIshouldgoupt obednow. ”

“
Notunt
ilyou’
vehadyourcof
fee.Weneedt
osober
you

upf
ir
st.
”

Hisfacewasonlyinchesawayf r
om hersandshe
couldseethet
hick,bl
acklashesthatf
ri
ngedhis
blueeyes.

Shet ri
edtocont rolherunst eadybr eathing,butthe
mascul i
ne, faintl
ymuskyscentt hatr oseupf rom
himt easedhersenses, causingaqui verof
awar enessdeepi nsideher .Shehadt ogetaway
from him,Mayar ealized,awayf r
om t hesensat i
ons
thatwer ethreateningt oover powerher .Sheli
fted
herhandsandpr essedt hem agai nstt hehardwal l
ofhischest ,intendingtopushhi m away, buthe
wasevenst r
ongert hanshehadi magi nedandt he
warmt hofhi smuscl edbodybeneat hherpal msf el
t
deli
ciouslyexci ti
ng.Shewant edtof eelhisbareski n
againsther s,sher eali
zedimpul sively,asherhands
movedupoft heirownaccor dtotheopeni ngofhi s
shi
rt
.

“Whatt hehellar
eyoudoi ng,
”hegroundout
,buthe
didn’tstopherfi
ngersfrom r
eachi
nginsi
deto
explorehissmoot hbrownthroat
.

“
I’
mt ouchi
ngyou,”shemurmuredhuski
ly,
moist
eningherl
ipswitht
heti
pofhertongue.

“You’r
ecompl etel
yshameless,aren’tyou?”hesaid
hoarsely,
hisbreathcominghardandf astasshe
l
oosenedanot herbuttonofhi
sshi rtandallowed
herhandt osl
ideinsideandexploret hewarm ski
n
ofhischest.

Hisbodyf elthotandslight
lymoistagainsther
palms.Somewher einthebackofhermi nd,she
knewt hatwhatshewasdoi ngwascr azy.The
alcoholhadcl oudedhersensesandshewoul d
regrett
hislater,buti
twasn’tenoughtostopher.
Whenhi shandmovedupherar mtoencircleher
throatsheti
ltedherheadandst ar
edwithbl atant
sensualit
yintohisgli
tt
eri
ngeyes.Shepar tedher
moi st
,sensit
izedli
psandRaj i
vneedednof urther
i
nvi t
ati
on.Withaself-
deprecati
nggroan,hel owered
hisheadandcover edhermout hwithhis.

Itwasnotagent l
eki ssandt herewasnosl owbui l
d
upt oit.Heinvadedhermout handhersenses, hi
s
tonguepenet rati
ngandf orcingani mmedi ate
responsef rom her .Mayaf eltasifshewer e
drowni ng,t
hebl oodpoundi nginhervei nsashe
exploredthemoi stinteriorofhermout h,drawing
thetipofhert onguei ntohismout h,bit
ingatit,and
thensuckl i
nggr eedi l
yoni t.Not hingcouldhave
preparedherf ort hissensualonsl aught.Shehad
beenki ssedbefor e,butt hosevaguememor i
esof
emot i
onst hathadbar el
yscr atchedthesur face
couldnotbecompar edt otheal l-
consumi ngdesire
thatengulfedherandl eftherbodycr yi
ngoutf or
fulf
il
ment .
Hi sfingersmovedupwar dtothr eadthemselvesin
thesi lki
nessofherhai r,twisti
ngi tal
mostpai nf
ull
y
i
nt ohi sfistandpull
ingherheadbacksohecoul d
trailkissesdownhert hroattowar dtheswellofher
breast s.Shef el
tthethin,shoestr i
ngstrapsofher
dressbei ngeasedof fhershoul dersanddownover
herbr east s.

“God,butyou’rebeauti
ful,
”hewhi sper ed,hiseyes
movingf rom thegl
owingpassi onofherf acedown
tothenakedbeaut yofherswol lenbr easts,the
nippl
esduskyandt i
ghtwi t
hdesi r
e.Hi sli
dswer e
heavyashegr azedhisthumboveronepout i
ngtip,
watchingherar chwit
hpl easure,andt henf i
nall
yhe
l
ower edhi sheadandsuckedhar datherni pple.A
sobescapedherasshedugherf ingersintohishair
andar chedherbodyupagai nsthim.

Mayafeltt
heswollenri
dgeofhi
serecti
onwhenhe
easedherkneesapartandpr
essedhimsel
f
i
nt imatelyagai nsther.Afleet i
ngsenseoft r
iumph
sei zedherathi sbl at
antdesi re.Shecoul dfeelt
he
har dheatofhi serecti
onthr ought hef l
imsyfabri
c
ofherdr ess, rubbingagainsthermoi stfl
eshand
sendi ngripplesofsweet ,pai nful,pleasurethrough
her .Alongmoanescapedherl ips.Shewant edto
teart heclothesf rom herbody, t
of eelhisnaked
fleshagai nsther s,easi
ngt heachet hatwas
bui ldi
ngdeepi nsideherwitht heur gentbul geofhis
ar ousal.

Hisbreathingwasr aggedashedr aggedhismout h

backtoher si nalongdr uggingkiss,hishandshot
andheavyonherst rai
ningbr east
s.Oft hei
rown
accord,herf inger
strai
leddownf rom hisneck,over
thesmoot h, sli
ckskinofhismuscl edchest,her
nail
sscrapi ngagainsthisrigidnipples.

Sheheardhi
m expelatormentedgr
oan.“MyGod,
I
mustbeoutofmymi nd!”Hesworesavagely,
draggi
nghi
mselfawayf r
om thesof
tinvi
ti
ng
war
mthofherbody.“
Ial
mostf
orgotwhoyouar
e!”

Mayaf el
therbl oodt ur
ncol d.Hewasst ari
ngather
wit
hal ookofl oathingonhi sdr awnf eat
uresand,
wit
ht remblingf ingers,shepul l
edt hesli
mt rapsof
hertopbackoverhershoul der s,shameand
devastationwashi ngoverher .“Howdoyout hink
Jaywoul df eelaboutt his?
”hedemanded, raking
unsteadyf i
nger sthroughhi shai r
,hiseyesf i
lled
wit
hgr im accusat ion.

“
Thi
shasnot
hingt
odowi
thJay!
”

“Nothingtodowi thJay?”Heshookhi sheadin

disbeli
ef.“You’r
er eal
lysomet hi
ng,youknowthat
?
Whatar eyousayi ng—thatyouandJayhavesome
kindof‘openr el
at i
onship’andit
’sokaytoscr
ewhis
brother?Isthatright?”

Mayaopenedhermout
htodi
sabusehi
m,butt
hen
quicklycloseditagain.Itwasnotf orhertosayand,
anyway, shecoul dseehehadal readymadeuphi s
mindabouther .Withacol dshiverofdespairshe
cl
imbedof fthestool,col
lectedherbag,andher
cardiganwi t
hhandst hattr
embl ed,andtr
iedto
makeherwayar oundhi mt owardthedoor .

Hismouth, whichjustafewmoment sagohadbeen

softandsensual,wasnowdr awnintoahard,t
hin
l
ine.“Sothat’
sitthen?”hetaunted.“
You’r
enoteven
goingtobothertryi
ngtoexplainyourbehavior
,ar
e
you?”

Mayadr ewher selfuptoherf ullhei

ght,butsti
llshe
hadt olookupathi m.“Explainmybehavi or?”she
repeatedt hr
oughbl oodlesslips.“Well
,IguessI ’
d
sayIhadt oomucht odrink.
”Hervoi cewascol d
andwounded.“ Buttel
lme, what ’
syourexcuseRaj i
v?
Ordoest heblamel ieenti
relywi t
hme? ”

Andbef
orehehadachancet
oanswer
,shebr
ushed
pasthi
m,for
cingher
sel
fnott
orunbutt
owal
kaway
wit
hherheadheldhi
gh.
Chapt
er7

Rajivstaredmor oselyattheroadaheadofhi m, hi
s
eyest i
redandsor ef
rom lackofsleep.Ithadbeena
l
ongt imesi ncehe’ dhadsuchagr im anddist
ur bi
ng
night,andheguessedt hattodaywasnotgoi ngt o
beanybet ter.Mayahadhar dlysai
dawor dsince
they’dleftLondonal mostanhourago.Ast he
power fulPor scheateupt hemi l
estowar d
Cranthorpe, hewasber at
inghimselfforbeingmor e
awar eofhert haneveraftertheshamef ulmadness
oftheni ghtbef ore.

Normall
y,hef oundthedrivefrom Londont othe
l
ushcount r
ysideofWi l
tshir
erelaxi
ngandsat i
sfyi
ng,
butnottoday.Besidesfeeli
ngr i
ppedapar twit
hguilt
forwhathadhappened, hef el
tabur ningfury
towardherfornotreacti
ng.Shehadl eftwit
hthat
part
ingshotthenightbefore,notgivinghima
chancet odef endhi msel f,althoughhowhewoul d
havemanagedt hathehadn’ tqui tef at homedyet .
Thent hismor ningshehadbeencoolanddi stant,
notasi gnofgui ltorr emor seont hatpur eand
i
mmacul at ef ace.Shehadherhai rt iedbackt oday
and, althoughhel ovedi tloose, hehadt oadmi tthat
i
tgaveheranai rofi nnocencepul ledbackf rom the
classicbeaut yofherf ace.Apar tfrom sl ight
shadowsbeneat hhersl ant ed, greeneyes, shedi dn’t
l
ookasi fshe’ dsuf feredanyi lleffect sfrom l ast
night’ssexualencount er .Shewaswear i
ngt he
sameI ndi anski rtshe’dwor nt hedayhe’ dmetherat
thest ation, butwi thitshewor eat ie-dyedt ankt op
i
ndi ffer entshadesofbl ueandl il
ac, andhehadt o
admi tt hati tsui t
edt her atheret her eali mageofher
thatwasbegi nni ngt of asci natehi m mor eandmor e.
Hewaspai nf ullyawar eofherl ongsl i
ml egs
beneat ht hef i
necot tonski rtwheneverf orcedt o
changegear s.Notevenhi sdeepsenseofshame
coulddul lthebur ni
ngexci tementhef el
tever yti
me
her emember edhowi thadf elttogi vei nt ohi s
needsandr avi shhert hewayhehadl astni ght.His
bodyst illthr obbedandhi sbl oodt hickenedatt he
memor yofherwar m sensuali
tyasshe’
dresponded
tohim.God, wasshelikethatwit
heverymanwho
touchedher ?Wasshel i
kethatwit
hSanjay?His
handstightenedonthewheelashi semotions
veeredbetweenlustandr age.

“
Willyoupl
easeslowdown?”Hersof
taccent
i
nvadedhisthought
s.“
You’
regoi
ngmucht oofast
.”

Heexpell
edanexasper at
edsi ghandeasedhi sf
oot
offt
heaccelerat
or.“What’
sthemat t
er,ar
eyounot
i
nahur r
yt ogetthere?
”heaskedcaust i
call
y,and
shegavehim afilt
hylookbeforetur
ningtostare
outthewindow.

“Asamatteroff
act
,I’
mlooki
ngver
yfor
war
dto
gett
ingt
here.
”

Raj
iv’
sjawclenchedashebitbackaspit
eful
comebackandthenwonderedifthatmeantshe
waslookingf or
war dt oseeingJayagai n.Theway
shehadr espondedt ohislovemaki ngl astni
ghthad
madeRaj ivfeell
ikehewast heonlymani nher
uni
verse,butobviousl ythatwasn’ tthecase.
Perhapsshe’dwant edhimt obel i
evet hat.Perhaps
shehaddeci dedt hathe,beingt heol derbrother,
wasabet terbet.Ifhisearli
ersuspi cionsabouther
wereright,t
henwhyshoul dsheset tleforJaywhen
shemi ghthaveashotathi m, theheadofMaddox
JuntaInvestments?

Hecouldfeelhisheadbeginningtopound.These
pasttwodayswer ebeginningtotakethei
rtoll
.He
hadknownt hatitwouldn’
tbepleasantbaby-sit
ti
ng
Sanjay’
sgir
lfr
iend,butGod,he’dhadli
ttl
eideajust
howunsettl
ingtohi speaceofminditwouldt urn
outtobe.

*
**

Mayaf
eltt
het
ight
lywoundt
ensi
ondeepwi
thi
nher
easesl i
ght lyast heyl eftthevi llageofSt eepleWi ck
behindandf oll
owedt henar r owr oadt hatRaj i
vhad
coldl
yi nformedherwoul dt aket hem toCr anthor pe.
Shewant eddesper at
elyt obeoutoft hiscarand
awayf rom hi m assoonasshepossi blycoul d.I t
hadnotbeenapl easantj ourneyandt he
atmospher ei nthevehi cle,irrespect iveofi ts
opulentcomf ort,
hadbeenf raughtwi t
hunder lying
hostil
it
iesandr ecriminat i
ons.I twasobvi oust hat
heblamedherf orwhathadhappenedt heni ght
before.Thathesawherassomeki ndofshamel ess
slutwhowasr eadyandwi l
lingt ojumpi ntobed
withthef irstmant hatcameal ong.Asmuchas
theseaccusat i
onshur t
,theywer emi norcompar ed
totheshameandhumi liati
ont hatshehadal ready
heapeduponher selfconcer ningherbehavi ort he
nightbef ore.Itwassocompl etel youtofchar act er
forhert obehavei nsuchawant onway.Shewoul d
l
ovet oi nform hi mt hathi sber at i
ngofherwasqui te
unnecessar yasshewasmanagi ngitmor et han
adequat elyher self.Butshef el
tnodesi r
e
whatsoevert oengagehi mi nconver sation.Just
l
ookingathi m causedanunpl easantachedeepi n
thepitofherstomach.Evenwi t
hasl i
ghtlyhaggar
d
expressi
ononhi shaughtyface,hesti
llmanagedto
l
ookdevast at
inglyat
tr
acti
ve.Ahelplesslanguor
i
nvadedherl i
mbsever yti
mesher ecalledhowhis
bodyhadt rembledinherarms.

“
Her
ewear
e.”

Hislow,contr
oll
edtonesbroughtMayaoutofher
gloomyrefl
ecti
ons,asthePorschet
urnedbetween
white-
paint
edgatesandfoll
owedagr avel
ledr
oad
towardsthehouse.

Asmoot hgr eenvergesl opedawayatei thersideof

ther owoft r
eest hatformedal inealongt he
sweepi ngdrive.Cranthorpestoodhugeand
maj esti
cbef oreher,andMayabi tbackagaspof
surpr i
seatthesi zeandbeaut yofit.Itwasbui ltof
stronggr aybrick,t
hel ongcasementwi ndows
fl
anki nganent ranceappr oachedbyawi defli
ghtof
stonest eps.Abovet hest at
elyhome, tallchimneys
st
oodwelcomi
nganddi
gni
fi
edagai
nstt
hebr
ight
bl
ueoft
hesky.

Mayaswal lowedbackherwor dsofamazementand

shock.WhenJayhadi nvit
edhertothei
rcountry
home, shehadi maginedasmal lcot
tage-st
yle
house,withapr et
tygar den,madeupofthreeor
fourbedrooms, max.Thi smansion,
beautif
ulasit
mightbe,leftherfeel
inganxiousandinti
midated.

Thel argedoubledoor sopenedast hecarcamet oa

haltout si
dethewi deent ranceandt wofi
gur es
emer ged,thefir
stbei ngabeaut i
fulIndi
anwoman
whoMayapr esumedt obeMr sMaddox, andbeside
herst oodthefami l
iarf i
gur eofherdearfr i
endJay.
Shecl imbedoutoft hePor schewithoutwaitingf
or
Rajivtoassistherandsmi ledgrateful
lyasJay
descendedt hest epst ogr eether.

“Maya,
it’
ssogoodtoseeyou.”Ashecl
osedhi
s
armsaroundheri
nanaffect
ionat
ehug,
shefel
tan
unexpect
edpri
ckoftearsandhadt
oswal
lowhar
d
befor
esayinganyt
hing.

“Hel
lo,Jay,
”shemanagedatl astand,smil
ingupat
him,noti
cedimmedi at
elyhowt hinhelooked.He
hadalwaysbeensl im,butnowhel ookedposi t
ively
gaunt,hi
scheekbonespr ominentandat ir
ed,hollow
l
ooki nhiseyesthathadnotbeent herebefore.
“Howar eyou?”sheasked,unabletohi dethe
concerninhervoice.

“Al
lthebet
terf
orseei
ngyou,
”hesai
dwi
tha
hear
tfel
tsmil
e.“Comeandmeetmymot
her
.”

Mayat ur
nedtofacethesli
m,elegantwoman
standi
ngbesideRaji
v.“HowdoyoudoMr s
Maddox,”shemurmur edpol
it
elyasthewoman
shookherhand.

“
Wel
comet
oCr
ant
hor
pe,
andpl
easecal
lmeAnna,
”
Jay’
smot
herresponded,
hersweepi
nggazet
aki
ng
i
nMaya’
stie-
dyedtopandIndi
anski
rt.

Mayacoul dn’thel
pnot i
cingasi mi l
arit
yinthe
strong,str
iki
ngbone-structurebet weenherandher
olderson.Shewast all
, almostast allasMaya, and
herdarkhai rt
iedbackinacl assicchignon,which
compl i
ment edherunli
ned, classicIndianfeat
ures.
Wi t
hhersl i
m bodyclothedi nal oose,Indi
anstyle,
dressandpant ssuitandal ongpat t
ernedscarf,she
wasapi ct
ureofsophisticatedelegance.

From thecor nerofhereye, MayasawRaj ivandJay

embr aci
ngeachot herwhileAnnaMaddoxl ooked
onappr ovingly.I
twascl eartoMayat hattheir
rel
ati
onshi pwasacl oseone.Rajivl eftJayand
wentovert oembr acehi smot her
, whot oldhim he
l
ookedt ir
edandshoul dstopwor kingsohar d.Maya
keptascl oset oJayaspossi ble,
gr atefulwhenhe
drapedhisar m overhershoul ders.
Theyent eredthehouset hroughal ar gesunlit
entrancehallwithawi decur vi
ngst aircasehugging
onesi deofther oom.Thewal l
spanel ledinadeep
oak, andthefloorstoo,wer eali
ghtpol i
shedwood.
Mayahadt obi t
ebackanexcl amationofpur eawe
atthesizeandsheerbeaut yofthepl ace.They
movedt hr
ought oaFr ench-windowedr oom where
thedécorwasasubt l
emi xtureofgr eenandi vory
tones.Apai rofdamasksof asflankedt heTudor
fi
replace,andMayawasi nvit
edt oseather selfon
oneoft hesumpt uoussettees.

Raj
ivhungbackatt hedoor
.“It
oldGodfr
eyI’
dsee
hi
m whenIarri
ved,”hestat
edcasual
ly.“
Ineedt
o
di
scussafewthingswi t
hhim,butI
’l
lbebackby
l
unchti
me.”

Hismot hernoddedherheadandt henseat

ed
herselfonthesetteeopposi
teMaya.“Sohowdid
youenj oyyourstayinLondon?
”sheenquired,
li
ft
ing
aper f
ectlyshapedeyebrow.
Jaycamet osi
tbesi
deMaya.“Yes,didyoumakei t
totheTateModer n?
”heaskedwithar eassuri
ng
smile,andshenodded,
rel
ati
ngheri mpressionof
thebuildi
ngandsomeofthewor ksthatshehad
admi r
ed.

“HaveyouseenitAnna?”Mayaaskedtheol
der
woman, at
tempt
ingtoincl
udeheri
ntheir
conver
sati
on.

AnnaMaddoxshookherhead.“ I’
m afrai
dmodern
arti
snotmyt hi
ng,”shesaid,herIndi
anaccent
musictoMaya’sears.“Sharksintanks,beds
surr
oundedbyf i
lt
h,pornography.
”Sheshi ver
ed.
“Nothankyou!”

Therewasanuncomfor
tablesi
lence,
inwhi cht
he
otherwomansmil
ednai
vely,whil
eJayst ar
ed
uncomfort
abl
ydownattheopulentgreenandgold
carpet
,andMayawonder edi fAnnaMaddoxknew
ofherson’spassionat ei
nterestinmodernand
exi
stenti
alart.Theyhadbot hat t
endedartcl
asses
i
nt heevenings,whichwashowt hey’
dmet.Maya
hadani nt
erestinAr tTherapy,butJayhadconfi
ded
i
nherhi sloveformoder nar tand,havi
ngseen
someofhi swor k,shehadnodoubtt hathehadthe
tal
entforit
.

“
Ma’sl
ovelieswi
thcl
assicIndi
anart
.”Jaysmil
ed
r
uef
ull
y,st
ri
vingt
oli
ghtentheatmospherei
nthe
r
oom.

Theconver sati
onmovedont osafertopi
cswhi l
e
theywereser veddeli
ciousl
yspicedchaioutoff i
ne
chinacupsandt hosedivi
neIndiansweetcakes
she’dtr
iedinLondon.Mayaaskedaboutt hehistory
ofthehouseandAnnaMaddoxi nfor
medhert hat
partsofitdatedbacktot hesi
xteenthcent
ury.

Jayr
emai
nedqui
etf
ormostoft
heconver
sat
ion
andMayahadt hefeel
inghismindwasel
sewher
e,
soitwasareli
efwhent heol
derwomanfi
nal
ly
suggestedt
hatheshowMayawher eshewouldbe
sl
eeping.

Thebedroom she’
dbeengi venwasnamedt he
RoseRoom, whichoverl
ookedtherose-
garden
bel
ow,andinthedistanceMayacaughtsightof
l
argel
akeshimmer i
ngi nthesunl
ight
.

“Jay,thisi
sabsol
utel
ybeautiful
!”sheexcl
aimed,
gazingoutofthewindowbef orewalki
ngroundthe
spaciousroom wit
hitsduskypinkwallsand
mat chingdamasksil
kcurtai
ns.

“I
’m gl
adyoul ikei t
,”Jaysaid, goingovertothe
hugebed, coveredi nar ose-patternedsati
n
bedspread,andl ower i
nghi sthinf rameontoit
.He
ki
ckedof fhistrainersandcr ossedhi sl
egsashis
brownhai rf
loppedf or
war dalmostcover inghi
s
warm ambereyes.
Therewassomet hinghauntingl
ybeautifulabout
Jay’
sface.Perhapsitwashi sdeeplysensiti
veeyes,
orhisful
lsensuall
ips,butwhateveritwas, i
t
causedpeopleofbothsexest ogravit
atetowar d
him.YetMayahadsoonr eali
zedthathewast otal
ly
unawareoftheaffecthislookshadonot herpeople.

“Youl
ookt i
red, Maya,
”heobserved,hi
ssear chi
ng
gazetaki
ngint heshadowsbeneat hhereyesand
thesl
ightt
ensi oninheri
nherface.“Mybr other
hasn’
tbeengi vingyouahardti
me, hashe? ”

Mayaf l
ushed.“Don’
tbesi l
ly,
Jay.Yourbr other’
s
been…veryki
nd.”Shesmi l
edl amely.“Ij
ustdidn’t
sl
eepverywel ll
astnight
,that’
sall.
”Sheseat ed
hersel
fnexttohimthesumpt uousbedandgave
hi
m asol emnlook.“Sohowar eyou,Jay,real
ly?”

Heshr
uggedhi
sthi
nshoul
der
s.“
Nott
oogood.As
you’veprobablyguessed,Ifeelsoi
solatedhere.I
t’
s
l
ikeI’m pl
ayingar ol
e,notreal
lybei
ngme, j
ustthe
personpeopl eexpectmet obe.”Hi
slongsl i
m
fi
ngersplayedwi t
ht hesi
lkenbedspread.

“
Haveyouthoughtabouttel
li
ngthem t
hetrut
h,your
mot
herandyourbrother
,atleast
?”sheaskedgentl
y.

“I
t’
sallI
’vebeenthi
nki
ngabout,besidesKurt
,that
i
s,”hetoldher
,pushi
ngimpat
ientfingerst
hrough
hi
slonghair.

“
Youst
il
lhaven’
thear
dfr
om hi
mthen?
”

Jayshookhishead.“Notawor d,no.Wehadt hi
s
hugerowthenightbeforeIl
eftEdinburgh.He
wantedtocomedownt oLondonwi thme, tobe
herewhenItol
dmymot her,butIchickenedout,
sai
dIwantedtodoi ti
nmyownt i
me.Het ol
dmeI
wasacowar d,
thatIhadnoi ntent
ionoft el
li
ngher,
oranyoneel seforthatmat terandthenhel eft.He
wenthomet oSwi t
zerl
and, saidhewasn’ tprepar ed
toli
veal i
e.”Het ur
nedt ofaceher ,hi
seyesdar k
andmour nful.“Andnowt hatI ’
velosthim Ifeel,
what’sthepointoftell
ingthem anyway?What ’sthe
pointofanythingreall
y?”Hisvoi cebrokeandt ears
fi
ll
edhiseyesasshecl osedherar msaroundhi s
heavingshouldersandt ri
edherbestt ocomf orthim.
Chapt
er8

Theywer esti
llsi
tt
ingther
ewhenar at
herloud
knocksoundedatt hedoorand,
beforeeit
herof
them couldspeak,i
tswungopen.Raji
vstoodther
e,
hissardonicgazetaki
nginthet
wof i
gures
embracingont hebed.

“Sor
ryt
ointer
rupt
,”hedecl
ared,hi
smout htwist
ed
i
ntoamockingsmi l
e.“
Youforgotyoursui
tcase
downst
air
s.”
Maya’
sf aceburnedashesethersuitcasedown
j
usti
nsidether oom andst
raight
enedup,hi
seyes
f
li
cki
ngovert hem inaguardedlook.

“
Well
,IguessI’
l
lleaveyoubot
htoi
tthen,
”he
r
emarkedwryl
yandst r
odeout,
pul
li
ngthedoor
f
ir
mlyshutbehi
ndhi m.

Jayletoutabit
terlaughaft
erhe’
dleft.“Heprobabl
y
thi
nkshe’sint
erruptedourr
econcil
iat
ion,”he
decl
ared.“I
fonlyheknewhowwr onghewas! ”

Mayasti
fl
edagroan,wishi
ngshecouldseethe
humorint
hesi
tuati
on,butallsher
eal
lyf
eltwasdul
l
achei
nthepi
tofherstomach.

Jayevent
uall
ylefthertofr
eshenup, agreei
ngto
meetherdownstair
sf orl
unchi nhalfanhour .Maya
sankbackonthesof tmatt
r ess,
tryi
ngnott othink
aboutt
helookofcoldcont emptonRaj i
v’sf
ace
whenhe’ dwal kedinont hem.God, whatmusthe
thinkofher ,sheagoni zed, andnowshewoul dhave
togodownst airsandf acehi m.I fonlyshehadn’ t
kissedhi ml astnight,noneoft hi swoul dhave
mat t
ered.Butshehad, andi tdid.Shemadeherway
i
nt ot heen-suitebathroom andst aredather selfin
thel arge,ornatemi r
ror.Shel ookedgui lt
yassi n,but
shehaddonenot hi
ngwr ong.Mayal i
ftedherhead
andt ookadet erminedbr eath.Shewoul dnotal l
ow
himt omakeherf eelashamed.Thewhol esituation
wasr idi
culousandshewoul dr iseabovei t.Af t
er
splashi ngsomecol dwat eronherf ace,shel eftthe
bat hroom andwentovert othecar vedVi ctorian
dressi ngtable,seati
ngher selfont hepaddedvel vet
stool ,det
ermi nedtogodownst airsandf aceRaj iv
l
ooki ngassel f-
assuredandi r
repr oachabl eas
possi ble.

Shefeltal
it
tlebett
erwi
thsomemoi st
urizerand
make-upconceali
ngthedarkshadowsbeneathher
eyes,andshe’dcombedherhairi
ntoasmoot hsil
ky
curt
aindownherback,resi
sti
ngtheurgetochange
i
ntosomet hingmor econservat i
ve,beforemaki ng
herwaydownst airs.Assheent er
ed, t
hedr awing
room, wit
hi tsFr enchwi ndowsst andingopent oan
uninter
rupt edvi ewoft hecolorful
,landscaped
gardenbeyond, Mayacoul dn’thelpfeeli
ngt hatt his
housewasdi fferenttot heonei nLondon, whi ch
hadbeenver ygr aciousbutqui teformal.Cr anthor pe,
however ,seemedt ohert ohaveanent ir
elypeacef ul,
genialatmospher eabouti t
,thankst owar m color s,
beautif
ulf urnishings, andthel ushsur r
oundi ngsof
theEnglishcount r
yside.

“
Doyoul
ikei
t?”

Maya’
sheadj erkedatthesoundofthatal
l-
too-
f
amili
arvoice.Hewasst andi
ngattheotherendof
t
heroom, aglassofamberl i
qui
dinhishand,and,
f
oramoment ,shestar
edathim nonpl
ussed.

“
Thehouse,
doyouli
keit
?”herepeat
ed,
wal
king
t
owar
dsasmallopenbaratoneendoft
her
oom.
“
Yes,
”sheanswer
ed.“
Iwasjustt
hinki
ngthati
thas
aver
ywelcomi
ngatmospher
eaboutit
.”

“
Ver
ygood.”Henodded,asi
fshehadpassedat
est
.
“
CanIgetyousomethi
ngtodri
nk?
”

“Um, j
ustsomemi neralwat erplease,i
fyouhaveit.
”
Shewal kedovertot heFr enchwi ndowsandst ar
ed
outatthemagni f
icentvi ew, buteventhevibr
ant
fl
owerbedsandr ollinglawnswer ediff
icul
tto
appreci
atewhenshewassoover lyconsci
ousof
themanbesi deher .Shecoul dn’
thelpaski
ng,“Do
youknowwher etheot hersar e?”

“They’
llbehereinaminute,I
’m sur
e.”Hecar r
iedthe
l
ongf r
ostedglassoverandhandedi ttoher .“
Why?
Ismycompanynotappeal i
ngsinceIinterrupted
yourli
ttl
ereuni
onupstair
s?”headdedpr ovokingl
y.
“Youdidn’ti
nter
ruptanyt
hing.
”Hereyesf
lashedat
him.“
Jaywasf eel
ingupsetandIwascomforti
ng
him,t
hat’sall
.”

“
Please.
”Hehelduphishand.“Youreal
lydon’
towe
meanyexplanati
onsand,
besides,
Icoulddo
wit
houtthedet
ail
s.”

Mayagr i
ppedtheglasswit
hbot hhands,
thedesi
re
toslaphi
scynicalfaceal
mostoverpoweri
ngher.
Thesoundoff oot
stepsapproachi
ngwasa
welcomereli
ef.

AnnaMaddoxpausedatt
hethreshol
dfora
momentandthenfr
ownedatherson.“Raj
iv,
isn’
tit
abitt
ooear
lyint
hedayforspi
rit
s?”

Hej
ustshr
uggedhi
sbroadshoul
der
sanddr
ained
t
hegl
asswithagr
imace.
Sheshookherheadathi
scasualdefi
anceandt hen
tur
nedtoMaya.“Doyouli
keyourroom, Maya,
”she
enqui
red,
ever
yinchthegraci
oushostess.

Mayamurmuredanappropr
iat
eresponse,
allt
oo
awar
eofRaj
iv’
sindol
entgazefol
lowi
ngherevery
move.

Itwasar eliefwhenJayf inal

lyarri
vedandthefour
ofthem wentt hrought oanotherequal
lybri
ghtand
attract
iver oom forlunch.Mayaf oundthemeal
quiteast rain.Alt
hought heIndianThal
iwas
faultl
ess,shewasal ltooawar eofRaji
vattheother
endoft het able,notsayingmuchatal l
.Butno
doubtl i
steni ngashismot heraskedperti
nent
quest i
onsaboutMaya’ sl
ifei
nScot l
andandher
futureplansnowt hatshehadcompl et
edher
studies.

Jaywasalsor
athersubduedthr
oughout,
even
thoughhi
smothertr
iedtodrawhimint
othe
conver sat
ion, andMayaguessedt hathewas
fi
ndingi tdiffi
culttoshowanyr ealfeelingsinfront
ofhisf amily.Itwasar eli
efwhent hemealf i
nally
endedandJayof fer
edt oshowherar oundt he
grounds.Theweat herwasst i
llwar m andsunny
andMayaf oundt hespl endorandbeaut yofher
surroundingsqui t
euplifti
ng.Thegr oundswer e
huge, andJayt oldheraboutt hedi fferentkindsof
wildl
ife,suchasdeer ,herons,kingf i
sher s,
woodpecker s,andduckst hatshewoul dgettosee
here.Theywal keddownt othelakeandshel i
fted
herfacet ot hesunwi t
hasi ghofpur epl easure.

“I
t’
sgoi
ngtobegoodhavi
ngyouhere,
”heconfi
ded
oncet
hey’
dseat
edthemsel
vesunderatal
lel
mt r
ee.

“Yes,
”shereplied, l
i
st eni
ngt ot
heexcit
edchirpi
ng
ofthebir
dsandi nsect saroundher,
andthenadded
tent
ati
vel
y,“Icoul dn’thelpnoti
cinghowquietyou
wereduringlunch. ”
Hesi ghed,wrappinghi sarmsr oundhisbended
knees.“Iknow.If eelli
keI’m expect
edtoper f
orm,t
o
pretendthateverythi
ng’sokay, andIjustcan’
thack
i
t.”Hest ar
edatherwi t
hdesper ateeyes.“Canyou
under st
andwhatI ’m saying,ordoIsoundas
screwedupasIf eel?”

Mayashookherhead.“ Youdon’tsoundscrewedup
atal
l,
justconfused,butIcan’
thel
pwondering,Jay,
woul
dn’titbeeasieri
fyoujusttol
dthem t
hetruth?”

Hegr oanedsof t
ly,droppi
nghisheadont ohisknees.
“Oh,Maya, youdon’ tknowmymot her
.Shemi ght
comeacr ossassweetandnai vebutunder neat
hit
allshe’
sver yoldfashioned—at r
aditi
onalIndi
an
woman—andhavi ngasonwho’ sahomosexual
woul dprobablycausehert ohaveaner vous
breakdown! ”

Shedi
gest
edthi
sslowl
y.“
Idon’tknow,Jay.Fr
om
whatI
’
veseenofyourmot
her,sheseemsl i
kea
pret
tyformidabl
elady.Doyour
eal
lyt
hinkshe’
dfal
l
apartbecauseyou’r
egay?”

Hepi ckedupal eafandbeganshr eddingit

met i
culousl
y.“Maybenotf al
lapart,butIcan’
tever
i
magi neheraccept i
ngit.
”Ahaunt edexpressi
on
creptintohiseyes.“Buti
fherreacti
onwasanyt hing
l
ikemyf at
her’
sIthinkI’
ddie,andhewasn’ teven
Indi
an.”

Mayast
aredathi
m.“
Yout
oldyourf
atheryouwer
e
gay!
”

Jayl i
pstwist edint oagrim,humor lesssmi le.“Yeah,
Itoldhimt heni ghthedi ed.
”Het ookadeepbr eat
h
andt henletoutal ongsigh.“Wewer ehavi ngan
argument ,whi chwasnot hi
ngnew.Hewasal ways
tryi
ngt ot
el lRajivandmehowt oliveourl ives.He
wasabul lyandIt hinkwebothdespi sedhim.
Anyway, hedi dn’
twantmest udyingar t,saiditwas
forwimps. ”Abi t
terlaughranthroughhi m.“ He’d
beendr inkingthatnight,whi chwasnot hingnew
ei
ther,buthewasacr uel,aggressi
vedr unkandI
wast erri
fiedofhim.Raj i
vusedt ostandupt ohim
butIjustcoul dn’t
.Thatni ghtwasdi fferentthough.
Somet hingexpl odedinsideme.Maybe’ causeIwas
fi
nallyleavinghome, goingt ouniversit
y.Iwant edto
proveIwasaman.Idon’ tknow.Anyway, It
oldhim.
Isaid,‘
I’l
lneverbet hesonyouwant ,soyoumi ght
aswel lgiveuponmenow, becauseI ’
m gay.Iwas
borngayandI ’
l
ldiegayandt here’
snot hingyoucan
doabouti t!
’”

Mayali
stenedinamazement
.“Whatdi
dhedo?
”she
askedf
inall
y.

Jayrakedhi sfi
ngersthr
oughhishairinafr
ustr
ated
gesture.“
Hewentbal l
ist
ic.ThankGod,wewere
al
onei ntheKni ght
sbr
idgehouse.Mymot herwas
hereandRaj ivwasawayi nIndi
a,sother
ewasno
onet oint
erruptus.Hehitme,sworeatme,call
ed
meal lsort
sofnames, andthenproceededtoget
evendrunker.Iwentupt omyr oom andst ar
ted
packingmybags.Ihadt hisnot
ionofmovi ngupt o
Edinburghstrai
ghtawayandst ayingtherefor
good.”At i
redsmil
et uggedathismout h.“Who
knows?I fhehadn’tdied,maybethat’
swhatwoul d
havehappened.Myl i
fewouldhavebeensomuch
si
mpl er
.”“Sowhatdi dhappenJay? ”shepersist
ed.

“Wel l,
youcanguesst herest, r
eal l
y.Hedeci dedto
visitoneofhi sladyfri
endsi nhi sbrandnewFer r
ari,
whi chheendedupwr appingar oundapol einst
ead.
Lucki l
y, hedi
dn’ttakeanyoneel sewithhim.Idon’t
thinkIcoul dhavel i
vedwitht hat.”Hisvoicehad
becomeal mostexpressi
onlessnow.“ Hedi ed
i
nst antly.Andyouknowsomet hing,Maya?Fora
whi leIfeltgl
adt hatI
’dkil
ledhim! ”Hepr essedhis
headdownont ohi sbendedkneesandbegant osob
quiet l
y.

Mayaputherarmsar
oundhim andleanedher
cheekagai
nsthi
ssl
im shoul
der
.“I
twasn’tyour
faul
tJay,”shesoot
hed.“
Youmust
n’tbl
ame
yoursel
f.
”

“
Ohyesi twas,Maya.Ther
e’snogett
ingawayfrom
i
t.I
fIhadn’tt
oldhi
m, hewouldst
il
lal
ivetoday.
”

“Youdon’tknowt hatandheshoul dn’

thavebeen
drunkanddr i
ving,
”sheinsi
sted.“Asyousaid,he
couldhavekil
ledinnocentpeople.
”

Hedi dn’tappeartobeli
steni
ngtoher
.Alt
hough
he’dlif
tedhisheadandt hesobshadsubsi
ded,
therewasadul l
,det
achedlooki
nhiseyes.

“Haveyouspokentoanyoneel
seaboutt
his?
”she
askedevent
uall
y.

Jayrubbedhi
seyesi
nachi
ldl
ikegesture.“
Itol
d
Raj
ivthatwe’
dhadanar
gumentthatnight,
butI
didn’tgointoanydet ail
s.Justsai ditwast heusual
kindofr ow,whi chitwasr eall
y, untilIdecidedt obe
brave.”Hepi ckedupanot herleafandcr ushedi ti
n
hispalm.“ PoorRaj iv,Iscrewedt hingsupf orhi m
too.Hewasal sopl anningt odet achhi msel ffr om
ourf at
her.Want edt ogoawayandst arthisown
businessinI ndia.Butf atherwoul dn’thavei t,said
hehadt otakeovert hebusi nessher eevent ually.
Andofcour se,whenhedi edt hat’
sexact lywhat
Rajivhadt odo—t akeoverasheadoft hef ami lyand
headofMaddoxJunt aInvestment s.Hebecamea
wor kaholi
cover night.”Jayst aredoutacr osst he
l
ake.

“WhatamessI ’
vemanagedt omakeofthings,
Maya. ”Theyweresti
llsit
ti
ngtherewhenar ather
l
oudknocksoundedatt hedoorand,bef
oreei t
her
ofthem couldspeak, i
tswungopen.Rajivstood
ther
e, hissar
donicgazet aki
nginthetwofigures
embr acingonthebed.
“Sor
ryt
ointer
rupt
,”hedecl
ared,hi
smout htwist
ed
i
ntoamockingsmi l
e.“
Youforgotyoursui
tcase
downst
air
s.”

Maya’
sf aceburnedashesethersuitcasedown
j
usti
nsidether oom andst
raight
enedup,hi
seyes
f
li
cki
ngovert hem inaguardedlook.

“
Well
,IguessI’
l
lleaveyoubot
htoi
tthen,
”he
r
emarkedwryl
yandst r
odeout,
pul
li
ngthedoor
f
ir
mlyshutbehi
ndhi m.

Jayletoutabit
terlaughaft
erhe’
dleft.“Heprobabl
y
thi
nkshe’sint
erruptedourr
econcil
iat
ion,”he
decl
ared.“I
fonlyheknewhowwr onghewas! ”

Mayasti
fl
edagroan,wishi
ngshecouldseethe
humorint
hesi
tuati
on,butallsher
eal
lyf
eltwasdul
l
achei
nthepi
tofherstomach.
Jayevent uall
yl efthert of reshenup, agreeingt o
meetherdownst airsforl unchi nhal fanhour .Maya
sankbackont hesof tmat tress, tryingnott ot hink
aboutt hel ookofcol dcont emptonRaj i
v’sface
whenhe’ dwal kedi nont hem.God, whatmusthe
thinkofher ,
sheagoni zed, andnowshewoul dhave
togodownst airsandf acehi m.I fonlyshehadn’ t
kissedhi ml astni ght,noneoft hi swoul dhave
mat t
ered.Butshehad, andi tdi d.Shemadeherway
i
nt ot heen- suitebat hroom andst aredather selfin
thel arge, ornatemi rror.Shel ookedgui l
tyassi n, but
shehaddonenot hi
ngwr ong.Mayal ift
edherhead
andt ookadet er minedbr eat h.Shewoul dnotal low
himt omakeherf eelashamed.Thewhol esi tuation
wasr idiculousandshewoul dr iseabovei t.Af t
er
splashi ngsomecol dwat eronherf ace,shel eftt he
bat hroom andwentovert ot hecar vedVi ctor i
an
dressi ngt able, seati
ngher sel font hepaddedvel vet
stool ,determi nedt ogodownst airsandf aceRaj i
v
l
ooki ngassel f-
assur edandi rrepr oachabl eas
possi ble.
Shef eltal itt
lebet terwi t
hsomemoi sturizerand
make- upconceal ingt hedarkshadowsbeneat hher
eyes, andshe’ dcombedherhai ri
ntoasmoot hsi l
ky
curtaindownherback, r
esi
stingtheur get ochange
i
ntosomet hingmor econservat i
ve,befor emaki ng
herwaydownst airs.Assheent er
ed, t
hedr awing
room, wi t
hi tsFr enchwi ndowsst andingopent oan
uninterrupt edvi ewoft hecolorful
,landscaped
gardenbeyond, Mayacoul dn’thelpfeelingt hatt his
housewasdi fferenttot heonei nLondon, whi ch
hadbeenver ygr aciousbutqui teformal .Cr anthor pe,
however ,seemedt ohert ohaveanent i
relypeacef ul,
genialat mospher eabouti t
,thankst owar m color s,
beautifulf urnishings, andthel ushsur roundi ngsof
theEngl ishcount r
yside.

“
Doyoul
ikei
t?”

Maya’
sheadj erkedatt
hesoundofthatal
l-
too-
f
amili
arvoice.Hewasstandi
ngattheotherendof
t
heroom, aglassofamberli
qui
dinhishand,and,
f
oramoment
,shest
aredathi
m nonpl
ussed.

“
Thehouse,
doyouli
keit
?”herepeat
ed,
wal
king
t
owar
dsasmallopenbaratoneendoft
her
oom.

“
Yes,
”sheanswer
ed.“
Iwasjustt
hinki
ngthati
thas
aver
ywelcomi
ngatmospher
eaboutit
.”

“
Ver
ygood.”Henodded,asi
fshehadpassedat
est
.
“
CanIgetyousomethi
ngtodri
nk?
”

“Um, j
ustsomemi neralwat erplease,i
fyouhaveit.
”
Shewal kedovertot heFr enchwi ndowsandst ar
ed
outatthemagni f
icentvi ew, buteventhevibr
ant
fl
owerbedsandr ollinglawnswer ediff
icul
tto
appreci
atewhenshewassoover lyconsci
ousof
themanbesi deher .Shecoul dn’
thelpaski
ng,“Do
youknowwher etheot hersar e?”
“They’
llbehereinaminute,I
’m sur
e.”Hecar r
iedthe
l
ongf r
ostedglassoverandhandedi ttoher .“
Why?
Ismycompanynotappeal i
ngsinceIinterrupted
yourli
ttl
ereuni
onupstair
s?”headdedpr ovokingl
y.

“Youdidn’ti
nter
ruptanyt
hing.
”Hereyesf
lashedat
him.“
Jaywasf eel
ingupsetandIwascomforti
ng
him,t
hat’sall
.”

“
Please.
”Hehelduphishand.“Youreal
lydon’
towe
meanyexplanati
onsand,
besides,
Icoulddo
wit
houtthedet
ail
s.”

Mayagr i
ppedtheglasswit
hbot hhands,
thedesi
re
toslaphi
scynicalfaceal
mostoverpoweri
ngher.
Thesoundoff oot
stepsapproachi
ngwasa
welcomereli
ef.

AnnaMaddoxpausedatt
hethreshol
dfora
momentandthenfr
ownedatherson.“Raj
iv,
isn’
tit
abi
ttooear
lyi
nthedayf
orspi
ri
ts?
”

Hej
ustshr
uggedhi
sbroadshoul
der
sanddr
ained
t
hegl
asswithagr
imace.

Sheshookherheadathi
scasualdefi
anceandt hen
tur
nedtoMaya.“Doyouli
keyourroom, Maya,
”she
enqui
red,
ever
yinchthegraci
oushostess.

Mayamurmuredanappropr
iat
eresponse,
allt
oo
awar
eofRaj
iv’
sindol
entgazefol
lowi
ngherevery
move.

Itwasar eliefwhenJayf inal

lyarri
vedandthefour
ofthem wentt hrought oanotherequal
lybri
ghtand
attr
activer oom forlunch.Mayaf oundthemeal
quiteast rain.Alt
hought heIndianThal
iwas
fault
less,shewasal ltooawar eofRaji
vattheother
endoft het able,notsayingmuchatal l
.Butno
doubtl i
steni ngashismot heraskedperti
nent
questi
onsaboutMaya’sl
if
einScot
landandher
futur
eplansnowthatshehadcomplet
edher
studi
es.

Jaywasal sor athersubduedt hroughout ,even

thoughhi smot hertri
edt odrawhi mi ntothe
conver sat
ion, andMayaguessedt hathewas
fi
ndingi tdiffi
culttoshowanyr ealfeelingsinfront
ofhisf amily.Itwasar eli
efwhent hemealf i
nally
endedandJayof fer
edt oshowherar oundt he
grounds.Theweat herwasst i
llwar m andsunny
andMayaf oundt hespl endorandbeaut yofher
surroundingsqui t
euplifti
ng.Thegr oundswer e
huge, andJayt oldheraboutt hedi fferentkindsof
wildl
ife,suchasdeer ,herons,kingf i
sher s,
woodpecker s,andduckst hatshewoul dgettosee
here.Theywal keddownt othelakeandshel i
fted
herfacet ot hesunwi t
hasi ghofpur epl easure.

“I
t’
sgoi
ngtobegoodhavi
ngyouhere,
”heconfi
ded
oncet
hey’
dseat
edthemsel
vesunderatal
lel
mt r
ee.
“Yes,
”shereplied, l
i
st eni
ngt ot
heexcit
edchirpi
ng
ofthebir
dsandi nsect saroundher,
andthenadded
tent
ati
vel
y,“Icoul dn’thelpnoti
cinghowquietyou
wereduringlunch. ”

Hesi ghed,wrappinghi sarmsr oundhisbended

knees.“Iknow.If eelli
keI’m expect
edtoper f
orm,t
o
pretendthateverythi
ng’sokay, andIjustcan’
thack
i
t.”Hest ar
edatherwi t
hdesper ateeyes.“Canyou
under st
andwhatI ’m saying,ordoIsoundas
screwedupasIf eel?”

Mayashookherhead.“ Youdon’tsoundscrewedup
atal
l,
justconfused,butIcan’
thel
pwondering,Jay,
woul
dn’titbeeasieri
fyoujusttol
dthem t
hetruth?”

Hegroanedsof
tl
y,droppi
nghi
sheadontohisknees.
“Oh,
Maya,youdon’tknowmymother.Shemight
comeacrossassweetandnai
vebutunderneat
hit
al
lshe’
sver
yoldfashi
oned—at r
adi
ti
onalIndi
an
woman—andhavingasonwho’sahomosexual
wouldpr
obabl
ycausehertohaveanervous
br
eakdown!
”

Shedigestedthi
sslowly.“
Idon’tknow,Jay.Fr
om
whatI’veseenofyourmother,sheseemsl i
kea
pret
tyf or
midabl
elady.Doyour eal
lyt
hinkshe’
dfal
l
apartbecauseyou’r
egay?”

Hepi ckedupal eafandbeganshr eddingit

met i
culousl
y.“Maybenotf al
lapart,butIcan’
tever
i
magi neheraccept i
ngit.
”Ahaunt edexpressi
on
creptintohiseyes.“Buti
fherreacti
onwasanyt hing
l
ikemyf at
her’
sIthinkI’
ddie,andhewasn’ teven
Indi
an.”

Mayast
aredathi
m.“
Yout
oldyourf
atheryouwer
e
gay!
”
Jayl ipst wist edi nt oagr im, humor lesssmi le.“Yeah,
Itoldhi mt heni ghthedi ed.”Het ookadeepbr eath
andt henl etoutal ongsi gh.“ Wewer ehavi ngan
argument ,whi chwasnot hingnew.Hewasal ways
tryingt otel lRaj ivandmehowt oliveourl i
ves.He
wasabul lyandIt hinkwebot hdespi sedhi m.
Anyway, hedi dn’twantmest udyingar t,sai ditwas
forwi mps. ”Abi tterlaughr anthroughhi m.“ He’d
beendr inkingt hatni ght,whi chwasnot hingnew
either ,
buthewasacr uel,aggressivedr unkandI
wast erri
fiedofhi m.Raj i
vusedt ost andupt ohi m
butIj ustcoul dn’ t.Thatni ghtwasdi f
ferentt hough.
Somet hingexpl odedi nsideme.Maybe’ causeIwas
fi
nal lyleavi nghome, goingt ouniver sit
y.Iwant edto
proveIwasaman.Idon’ tknow.Anyway, Itoldhi m.
Isai d,‘I
’l
lneverbet hesonyouwant ,soyoumi ght
aswel lgiveuponmenow, becauseI ’m gay.Iwas
bor ngayandI ’l
ldi egayandt here’snot hingyoucan
doabouti t!
’”

Mayali
stenedinamazement
.“Whatdi
dhedo?
”she
askedf
inall
y.
Jayrakedhi sfingersthroughhi shairinaf r
ust r
ated
gesture.“ Hewentbal list
ic.ThankGod, wewer e
aloneint heKni ghtsbridgehouse.Mymot herwas
hereandRaj i
vwasawayi nIndia,sot her
ewasno
onet ointerruptus.Hehi tme, swor eatme, called
meal lsor tsofnames, andt henpr oceededt oget
evendr unker .Iwentupt omyr oom andst arted
packingmybags.Ihadt hisnotionofmovi ngupt o
Edinburghst r
aightawayandst ayingtherefor
good.”At ir
edsmi letuggedathi smout h.“Who
knows?I fhehadn’ tdied, maybet hat’
swhatwoul d
havehappened.Myl i
fewoul dhavebeensomuch
si
mpl er.”“Sowhatdi dhappenJay? ”sheper sisted.

“Wel l
,youcanguesst herest,r
eal l
y.Hedecidedto
visitoneofhisladyfri
endsinhi sbrandnewFer r
ari,
whi chheendedupwr appi
ngar oundapol einst
ead.
Lucki l
y,hedi
dn’ttakeanyoneel sewithhim.Idon’
t
thinkIcouldhavel i
vedwiththat.”Hisvoi
cehad
becomeal mostexpressi
onlessnow.“ Hedied
i
nst antl
y.Andyouknowsomet hing,Maya?Fora
whileIfel
tgl
adthatI
’dkil
ledhi
m!”Hepressedhi
s
headdownont ohisbendedkneesandbegantosob
quietl
y.

Mayaputherar msaroundhim andleanedher

cheekagainsthi
ssli
m shoulder
.“I
twasn’tyour
faul
tJay,”shesoot
hed.“Youmustn’tbl
ame
yoursel
f.
”

“
Ohyesi twas,Maya.Ther
e’snogett
ingawayfrom
i
t.I
fIhadn’tt
oldhi
m, hewouldst
il
lal
ivetoday.
”

“Youdon’tknowt hatandheshoul dn’

thavebeen
drunkanddr i
ving,
”sheinsi
sted.“Asyousaid,he
couldhavekil
ledinnocentpeople.
”

Hedi dn’tappeartobeli
steni
ngtoher
.Alt
hough
he’dlif
tedhisheadandt hesobshadsubsi
ded,
therewasadul l
,det
achedlooki
nhiseyes.
“Haveyouspokentoanyoneel
seaboutt
his?
”she
askedevent
uall
y.

Jayr ubbedhi seyesi nachi ldlikegest ure.“Itol d

Rajivthatwe’ dhadanar gumentt hatnight,butI
didn’tgointoanydet ail
s.Justsai ditwast heusual
kindofr ow,whi chitwasr eally, untilIdecidedt obe
brave.”Hepi ckedupanot herl eafandcr ushedi tin
hispalm.“ PoorRaj iv,Iscrewedt hingsupf orhi m
too.Hewasal sopl anningt odet achhi msel ffr om
ourf at
her.Want edt ogoawayandst arthisown
businessinI ndia.Butf atherwoul dn’thavei t,said
hehadt otakeovert hebusi nessher eevent ually.
Andofcour se,whenhedi edt hat’
sexact lywhat
Rajivhadt odo—t akeoverasheadoft hef ami lyand
headofMaddoxJunt aInvest ment s.Hebecamea
wor kaholi
cover night.”Jayst aredoutacr osst he
l
ake.

“
WhatamessI
’
vemanagedt
omakeoft
hings,
Maya.
”
Chapt
er9

"
Sowhatdoyout
hinkofher
?”

Raji
vl ookedupf rom thespreadsheetsinfrontof
him, f
rowninginirri
tati
onashewat chedhismot her
pacer estl
essl
yar oundt hebook-li
nedroom.I thad
beenl i
kethissinceshe’ dfi
rstenter
edthest udy,
disr
upt i
nghisneedf orsomequi etti
meinwhi chto
tr
yandputhi sthought sinorder.Ataskthatwas
provingvirt
uall
yimpossi bleevenwi t
houthis
mot her’
srestl
esspr esencet oprovokehim.

“
Thi
nkofwho?
”heasked.

Hermouthtightenedinannoyance.“Don’
tbe
obt
use,Raji
v,”sheresponded,hervoicer
isi
ng.
“MayaStewart,whoelse?”
Hesi ghed,l
eani
ngbackinthesoftleatherchai
r.
“Sheseemsni ceenough,Isuppose,”heconceded,
t
r yi
ngt okeephi
sexpressi
onasbl andashi swords.

“
Wel
lI’
m notsur
eIt
rusther
,”shest
ated.

Hisfrowneddeepenedasafeeli
ngofunease
descendedatherwords.Hedidn’
ttr
ustMayaeit
her
,
butforsomeobscurereasonhedidn’
twanthi
s
mothertoknowthis.

“
Whydoyousayt
hat
?”heenqui
red,
playi
ngf
ort
ime.

Hereyeswer
ecoldandaccusing.“
She’
sgotyou
hookedaswel
lasJay,hasn’
tshe?”

“
What?”Raj
ivshotoutoft
hechairi
nasuddenf l
uid
movementandwentroundthedesktowar
dher.
“
Whatareyoutal
kingabout
,Ma?”heasked,st
ri
ving
forapatroni
zingtone.“
Doyout hi
nkI’m st
upid?
”
Hereyesgl i
mmer edwit
hanger.“Doyout hi
nkI
can’
tseehowyoul ookather
?I’m notafool,
Raji
v,
evenifyouar e!
”

Hef el
tafil
m ofsweatbreakoutonhi sskinashe
forcedalookofconcernedbewi l
der
mentont ohi
s
face.“Ma,wil
lyoupleasecal
m down?It hi
nkal
lthi
s
stressoverJayisgett
ingtoyou.”Hetookhercold
sli
m handsinhis.“Comeandsi tdown,letmeget
youabr andy.Yourhandsarefreezi
ng.”

Sheal l
owedhimtol eadhertooneofthevel
vet-
coveredchair
sbesidet hef
irepl
ace,
buther
expressionwassti
llhardanduncompr omi
sing.He
pouredthem bot
hast i
ffbr
andyfrom t
hedri
nks
cabinet.

“Here,
dri
nki
t,
”heor
der
ed,
pul
li
ngupachai
rbesi
de
her.
“You’ r
enotgoi ngt ochangemymi nd,Raji
v,sodon’ t
tryyourboar droom t acti
cswi t
hme, ”shedeclar ed
aftertakingaf ort
ifyingsip.“There’ssomet hi
ngnot
ri
ghtabouther .Ijustcan’tputmyf ingeronit.”Her
facef il
ledwithtensi onandRaj i
vclosedhiseyes
agai nstherwor ds.“She’shi dingsomet hi
ng,can’ t
youseet hat?Ther e’smor etohert hanmeet st he
eye.Jayobvi ouslydoesn’ tseeitandnowshe
seemst ohaveyouf ool
edaswel l!
”Sheswal lowed
ther estofthedr i
nkandsett heglassdownont he
polisheddesk, herr egalfacepal eanddr awn.

“
Ma, It
hinkyou’
reoverr
eacti
ng,”hesai
dsteadil
y.
“
Okay,Iadmitshe’
saver yatt
racti
vegi
rl
,butshe
r
eall
yseemst ocareaboutJay.”Thewordswere
wrungfr
om him,andhet ol
dhimselfhemeantthem.

Sheshookherheaddespondent
ly.“
Thatmi
ghtnot
beenoughtosavehi
m.”
“
Whatdoyoumean?
”

“WhenIhear dshewascomi ngher et oseehi m, I

thoughtper hapst herewasachanceoft hem
getti
ngt ogether.Event houghshe’ snotI ndian,I’
ve
prayedt oGodandmademypeacewi ththat.Ihad
alwaysexpect edbot hofyout omar ryIndian
women.Youknowt hat, butI’m preparedt osacr i
fi
ce
thatdream f orSanj ay’
swel fare.You, Iknow, will
mar ryanI ndiangirlandt hatwi l
lhavet obeenough
forme.SoIwaspr epar edt oaccepther ,ashis
girl
fri
end, orwhatever .”Anxi etymar redhercl assic
features.“Butseeingt hem t oget her—somet hingis
notr i
ght.”Hismot herst aredoutoft hewi ndows
behindhi m, apuzzl edf rownonherf ace.“ She
doesn’ tappeartol ovehi m, atleastnoti nasexual
way.Wat chingthem t oget her.Idon’tknow—i tjust
doesn’ tfi
t.
”

Raji
vtr
iedt
oquel
lthet
hri
llhefeltathi
smother
’s
despai
ri
ngwor
ds,buti
tsoaredthroughhi
m,easing
thedul lachethathadnaggedathi m allday.Lat er,
afterhi smot herhadleft
,Raj i
vsatst ari
ngoutoft he
studywi ndows.Ifhehadf eltunset tl
edbef oreher
i
nt errupt i
on,i
twasnot hi
ngcompar edtowhathe
wasf eelingnow.Thedesi retodr i
nkhi msel fi
nto
oblivionwasat emptingone, butheknewf rom past
exper iencethatthatwouldonl ymaket hingswor se.
Hehadal wayspr i
zedhimsel fonbei ngablet o
cont rolandguar dhisemot ions.Itwasi mper at
ivein
busi nessandsomet hingthathisf atherhaddr i
ven
homet ime,andtimeagain.Andnow, aft
eramer e
twodaysi nhercompany, thisyoungsl ipofgi r
lhad
managedt ogetunderhi sskinlikenooneel se
bef ore.

Heneededt ogetawayfr
om her.Outofsightwas
outofmind.Alt
houghhehadplannedt ospend
sever
aldaysheresuppor
tinghi
smot her,
hecould
nowseet hatt
hatwasnotagoodi dea.

Suddenl
yhenot
icedJayandMayamaki
ngt
hei
r
waybackt owar dthehouse,armi narm,andhis
expressionhar dened.Ther
ewasnodoubtt hatthey
madeast ri
ki ngcouple,bothtall
,beauti
ful
,and
young,heacknowl edgedgrimly.Afeeli
ngof
jeal
ousy, t
ot all
yalientohim,stabbedathisguts
andst r
engt henedhi sresol
vet oleaveCranthor
peas
soonaspossi ble.

*
**

Thef ol
lowingmor ning,Mayaawoket otheupl i
ft
ing
soundofbi rdsongout sideherroom.I twasanot her
beautif
ulsummer ’
sdayandshecl i
mbedoutofbed
withaposi ti
vef eel
ingt hatshehopedwoul drubof f
onJaywhenshesawhi m.Infact,hehadseemeda
l
itt
lebetteraftertheirwal kyester
dayand, even
duringdinner,hehadchat t
edwi t
hMayaabout
fr
iendsoft heirsinEdi nburghandwhatt heywer e
upto.Raj i
vhadseemedmor eremot ethanever ,but
Mayahaddoneherut mostt oignor ehisindolent
presence.
Todaywasanewday, however, andsheintendedto
maket hebestofit.Afterarefreshingshowershe
pull
edonapai roffl
aredhipsterj eansanda
tur
quoiseribbedT-shirtSheti
edherhai rbackina
ponytail
,cr
eamedonsomemoi sturi
zingsunbl
ock,
j
ustincase, andthenmadeherwaydownst ai
rs.

Itwasj ustafternineo’cl
ockwhensher eachedthe
groundf loorandal mostbumpedi ntothe
housekeeper ,afriendl
yIndianladywhohadbeen
i
nt r
oducedt ohert hedaybef orewi t
ht herestof
staff
.Anexper i
enceMayahadf oundr ather
i
nt i
midat i
ng.Givingorderstoser vantswas
somet hingshecoul dnevergetusedt o.

Theplump,mi
ddl
e-agedwomani
nasar
ismi
ledat
Maya.“Goodmor
ning,Mi
ssMaya.
”

“
Goodmor
ning,
NanaBi
bi,
isn’
tital
ovel
yday,
”
Mayaenthused,pl
easedt
hatt
hefir
stpersonshe’
d
encount
eredseemedtobeingoodspi
rit
saswel l
.

Thehousekeeperpoi
ntedoutthedi
rect
ionofthe
morni
ngroom.“ MrRaji
valr
eadyhavebr eakf
astand
Madam Anna’asjustcome.”HerI
ndianaccentwas
st
rong.

JayhadtoldMayathatthehousekeeperhadcome
toLondonwithhi
smot her
,herfamil
yhaving
workedforAnna’
sfamilyi
nIndiaforgener
ati
ons.

“Youli
kecof
fee,
teaorchai
,mi
ss?
”thehousekeeper
asked.

“
Cof
feepl
ease,
NanaBi
bi.
”

Thehousekeepernodded,
sayi
ngshe’
dbebackwi
th
i
t“Qui
ck,quick.
”
Mayasmi ledtoher self,
lovingt hemelodicsoundof
theIndianaccent .Thenshebr acedherself,
recall
ingthatJay’smot herwasi nthebreakfast
room, andhopedshewoul dn’tasktoomany
diff
icultquesti
onsaboutJay.Hear ingraisedvoices
assheappr oached, Mayasl oweddown, not
meani ngtoeavesdr op,rathertoturnaroundquietly
andgetawayf r
om what everitwast hatwasgoing
on.Butsomet hingst oppedher .

“Imaybeol
dbutI
’m notst
upi
d,Raj
iv!
”Mayahear
d
Anna’
svoi
ceandst
oppedinhertr
acks.

“You’
renotol
dandyou’
renotst
upi
d,”Raj
iv
count
eredinahar
shvoi
ce.

“
Ial
soknowaboutyourweaknessforbeaut
if
ul
women.
”Mayaheardaclat
terofcutl
ery.
“What’
sthatgott
odowi
thanyt
hing,
Ma,
”Raj
iv
groundout.

“Isawt hewayyouwer elookingatherl

astnight
again.Youcanhar dlytakeyoureyesoffher!She’
s
beautif
ulandyoudesi reher ,
butther
eare
thousandsofbeaut if
ulgir
lsforyou.Justl
eaveher
alone,please.Foryourbrother’
ssake!
”

Mayahear dagr oanoffrustr

ationf
rom Raji
v,then.
“Idon’
thavet i
mef ort
his.I’
vegotwor kt
odo, mor e
thanyoucani magine.”Therewasashor tsi
lence.
“Ma,pleasestopyourimaginat i
onfr
om running
wild,
please.God,isyouropinionofmesol owt hat
youthinkI’
dtryandmessupt heonet hi
ngthatmay
helpSanjaygetbetter
? ”

Therewasashor tsil
encethen,“Raji
v,Idon’
thavea
l
owopi ni
onofyou.You’ vebeenmyr ocksi
nceyou
wereachild.Idon’
tknowhowIwoul dhave
survi
vedwithoutyou.”Hervoicebroke.“MaybeIam
over-
react
ing,butIjusthaveabadf eel
ingabout
thi
s—abouther .AndIknowyou’ r
enotusedto
denyi
ngyour self.You’vebeentoousedtogett
ing
yourownway, especiall
ywithwomen.”

“Ma,t
hatwasyearsago,ayoungmansowinghis
wil
doats,
orwhatever
.I’
m nottheper
sonIwas
backt
hen.Sur
elyI’
veprovedthatt
oyoubynow?”

Therewasalongersil
ence.Perhapshewasholding
her,
comfor
tingher.Mayafeltsi
cktoherstomach.
Herbodywast r
emblingandherlegsfel
tli
kejel
lyas
shestoodt
hereherarmswr appedaroundher
midri
ff
.

“Canwedr opthi
ssubjectnow?I’
vegotabouta
hundredemailsandphonecall
stomake,”Raji
vsai
d
theangernolongerevi
dentinhi
svoice.

Hi
smot
hermayhaver
epl
ied,
butMayawast
ryi
ng
togetherlegstomove.Not hingcoul
dbewor se
thanhi
mf indinghereavesdroppi
ngatthedoor .She
stumbledalongthepassage, t
ryi
ngtogetherlegs
tobehavenor mal
ly.

“
Maya.
”

Heronlyrespit
ewast hathespokesof
tl
y,sohi
s
mothercouldn’thear
,butshetr
iedt
oignorehi
m,
walki
ngasf astasshecould.

“Maya!”Hishandwasl ar
geandstr
ong,di
ggingi
nto
hersoftupperarm andshehadt
obiteherl
ipnott
o
cryoutinpain.“
Wher ear
eyougoi
ng?”

Mayacoul dn’
tlookathi
m.Shef el
tmorti
fiedby
whatshe’dheard,soshejuststareddownatt he
fadedjeanshewaswear i
ng, knowingthatshe
couldn’
thidefr
om him,orhismot her
,forever
.
“Wereyouli
steni
ngatt
hedoor
?”Hewastoocl
ever
forhi
sowngoodandshehatedhimf
orit
.“Whatdi
d
youhear?
”

“Enough!
”shechoked,t
ryi
ngf
uti
lel
ytor
eleaseher
armf r
om hi
sir
ongrip.

“Ar
eyouokay?”heasked,
concer
nshadowi
nghi
s
har
shfeat
ures.

“Whatdidyousaytoher
?”sheutt
eredtr
emulousl
y,
fi
nall
yfindi
nghervoi
ceasherhandscover
edher
palecheeks.

“
Idi
dn’
tsayanyt
hingt
oher
,forGod’
ssake!
”

“
Letmego.Ican’
tbeart
olookatyou,
”shehi
ssed,
t
ryi
ngf
uti
lel
ytofr
eehersel
f.
“Come.”Hisfi
nger
smoveddownt oherwri
stl
ikea
vice.“
We’regoi
ngtot
alkaboutt
hiswhet
heryouli
ke
i
tornot .
”

Ashedr aggedherwi t
hhim alongt hecor ri
dor,
Mayaf elttoonumbwi t
hshockt oar gue.Eventual
ly
hest oppedal ongthepassagewayt oopenaheavy
panelleddoor ,urgi
ngherf i
rml yinside.Itwasa
study, Mayar eal
izeddazedlyand, withtheheavy
curtainsdr awn,quit
edi f
fi
culttoseemuchbesi des
alargepol i
sheddeskandr owsofbeaut if
ulold
booksl iningthewalls.Shedr ewi nat rembli
ng
breath,tooangr yandhumi li
at edtocar ewher eshe
was.
Chapt
er10
“Iwanttoknowwhatyout ol
dher
,”Mayar epeat
ed
unevenly,
asRajivshutt
hedoor
.“God,didyoutell
herthatItr
iedt
oseduceyouorsomething?”

“Don’
tbecrazy.Inevertol
dheranyt
hing.
”Heraked
hisl
ongfi
ngersimpat i
entl
ythr
oughhishair
.“Woul
d
youbel
ievesheguessed?
”

Mayalookedupathim,wrappi
ngherar
msaround
herwai
st.“Guessedwhat
?”sheaskedi
nconf
usion.

“Goodquestion.”Hegrimaced,
rubbingthebackof
hisneckti
redly.“Sheseemstothinkther
e’s
somethinggoingonbet weenus.”

Shecontinuedt
ostareathim.Herthroatt
ight
ened
pai
nfull
y.“Andyouneversaidanyt
hingtoher
about—aboutwhathappenedinLondon? ”

“Ofcour
senot.Whyt
hehellwouldIdothat
?”He
l
eanedonehandagai
nstthedarkwoodenpanell
ing
besi
deherhead.“
Doyoubelieveme?”Hisgazewas
seri
ousashestar
edather.

Shenodded,
looki
ngatt
hebut
tonsonhi
swhi
te,
I
ndi
ancott
on,shi
rt
,hermindi
ntur
moil
.“God,what
mustshet
hinkofme?”shewhi
sper
edtohersel
f.

Heswor esoftl
y.“Look,don’
tt akeanynoti
ceofher.
It’
smeshet hinksbadlyof,notyou.She’l
lgetoveri
t,
Sanjayseemsmuchbet tersinceyouarri
vedand
that’
sal
lthatreall
ymat t
ers,okay?”Hisvoi
cewas
softandsoothing.

“
Idon’ tknowwhattodo.”Herhandswerest
il
l
wrappedr oundherwai
standshedroppedherhead
i
ndef eat.

“Youdon’
thavetodoanythi
ng,justconcent
rat
eon
Jay,
”hestr
essed.“
OnceI’
m goneshe’ l
lbeallr
ight
,
andasI’
ml eavi
ngthi
saft
ernoon—”

“You’
releavi
ng?”sheexcl
aimedasshestar
edi
nto
hiseyes.Shetr
iedtol
ookawaybutitwas
i
mpossi bl
eandhisexpressi
onashestar
edbackat
hercausedapai
nfulknoti
nthepi
tofherst
omach.

“
Ihavetogetback.
”Hisgazedroppedtohermouth.
“
Businesscommitment
sthatIcan’tgetoutof
.”

“I
—Ithi
nkIshouldgobackt oScotl
and,
”she
deci
dedsuddenly.“I
t’
snotri
ghtformestayher
e.
Yourmotherobviousl
ydoesn’
ttr
ustme.”

“No!
”hehissedsavagel
y.“
Please,
don’
teventhi
nk
aboutl
eavi
ng.Jayneedsyou.Youcan’
tleavenow.
”

Mayaswal
lowed,
herbr
eat
hingconst
ri
cted.“
Idon’
t
know.
”

“Youcan’
tleavenow,
”herepeat
edi
nagr
avel
lyt
one
ashegraspedhershoul
ders.
Thewar m st rengt hofhi shandst hroughhert hinT-
shirtl
eftherf eelingst rangelyweak, andwhenhe
j
erkedhert owar dhi m, Mayacoul df i
ndnowi l
lto
resist
.Hewasl eavi ngandshemi ghtneverseehi m
again.Hi smout hf astenedonher sandherl i
ps
partedtoacceptt heheat edinvasionofhi s
thrusti
ngt ongue.Sher espondedi nsti
nct i
vely,the
i
deaofr esistinghi m simplynotanopt ion.Her
handsspr eadagai nsthischest ,
thewar mthofhi s
fl
eshpal pabl et hrought hethinfabri
cofhi sshirt.
Shecoul df eelhishear tbeati
ngheavi lybeneat hher
palm ashesl antedhi sheadanddeepenedt hekiss,
causingherbodyt osagweakl yagainstt hewooden
panelli
ngbehi ndher .Maya’sarmsmovedupt o
cli
ngar oundhi sneck, hersl
imf i
nger sthreading
i
ntot het hick, si
lkyhai rathisnape.

“
God,
you’
redr
ivi
ngmecr
azy,
”hebr
eat
hed.

Hishandsmoveddownherback,f
indi
ngand
caressi
ngt
hesmoothski
nexposedabovethe
waistbandofherjeans,andhismout hl
efther
sto
tr
ailapat hal
onghercheekt othecaver
nofherear.
Shecoul dhearhi
shar shbreat
hingashishands
pushedt hethi
nfabri
cofherT-shirtupandoverher
breasts.

“Beaut
iful
,
”hegr oaned,
hishoodedeyesmovi ng
hungri
lyoverherexposedfl
esh,herduskynippl
es
pouti
ngshamel essl
yathim.“Sobeauti
ful
.”

Herubbedthepadsofhi
sthumbsagainstt
hem and
Mayamoaned,archi
ngherbacki
nst
incti
vel
y
t
owardshim.

“Doyouknowwhatyou’r
edoingtome?”he
demanded,andshecoul
donlyshakeherheadi
n
bemusementashecapturedhermout
hinanother
druggi
ngki
ss.

Onceagai
n,herbodyseemedt
ohavet
akenonal
if
e
ofitsown, needsshehar dlyunder stood
overpoweringher .Shehear dher sel
fmoanwhenhe
cuppedoneofherbr eastsandsqueezedherachi ng
nipple.Shewasonf i
reforhi m, ever
ynerveinher
bodydesper ateforasat isfactionshecouldhardly
fathom.Oft heirownvol it
ion, herarmswer epull
ing
him down, totastethetight enedbud, andhe
needednosecondi nvit
ation.Mayagaspedatt he
piercingpl
easur ethatdar tedfrom herbreastt
ot he
veryheartofher .

Heatpool
edbetweenherl
egsandheri
nner
musclest
ight
enedwit
hneed.

Ashesuckedhungr i
lyatherbreasts,Mayabecame
awareofthehardlengt
hofhi sarousalt
hroughthe
softj
eanshewaswear ing.Heeasedamuscl ed
thi
ghbetweenherweakenedl imbsandshe
shudderedwhenhishar dfl
eshrubbedagainsther
moistandsensit
ivecore.Thewoodenpanel l
ing
wascoolagainstherbarebackandshef elta
desper atedesir
etofeel hisnakedbodyagai nst
hers.Hi shandsmoveddownt ocupherbot tom,
l
ifti
ngherupandr ubbi nghimselffr
etful
lyagainst
herwel comingf l
esh.Shewassur ehecoul dfeelt
he
moi stheatthroughherj eansbutshedi dn’
tcare.
Shewant edtofeelhimi nsideher,
tofeelthehot
hardl engthofhimf i
ll
ingherandeasi ngthiscravi
ng
thatwasover power i
ngher .

“
Iwantyou,
”hegr
oaned,
mir
ror
inghert
hought
s.“
I
wantyounow.
”

Inherst ateofheighteneddesi re,

shecoul donl y
nodhel plesslyinagreement .Hisfingersmovedt o
themet albut t
onofherj eans, unf
asteningitwith
theeaseofexper ienceandpushi ngt hezipslowly
down.Shet rembledwi thami xtureofpanicand
anti
cipationand, asifsensinghersudden
uncertainty,Raji
vcover edhermout hinadeep
searchingki ssthatblankedhermi ndofever ything
excepttheneedt osat i
sfyt
hi sdesperatecraving.
Herhipsthrusteagerl
yagainsthishandwhenhi s
fi
ngersbeganpr obingtheelasti
cizededgeofher
panti
es.Then,throughtheheavyhazeofdesi re,
Mayahear dat el
ephoneringing.I
twasi ntheroom,
aloudincessantnoisethatsimplywoul dn’
tgo
away.

“
Thephone,
”shepant
ed,
draggi
nghermout
haway
f
rom hi
s.

Raji
vgroaned.Hishandswer etr
embl i
ngasthey
movedupherbodyt oclasphershoulder
s.“
Don’t
move,”hebreathedagainsthermouth,hi
seyes
gli
tt
eri
ngwithami xtureoffr
ustr
ati
onanddesirei
n
thedimli
ght.“Justgivemeami nutetogetr
idof
whoeveriti
s.”

Mayafel
tanunbear
ablesenseofl
osswhenhe
movedawayfr
om her,
butasherbodyrapi
dly
cooled, herbr ainbegant ofunct i
on.Wassheoutof
hermi nd?Thi swast hesecondt imeshehad
all
owedhi mt oover powerhersenses, liter
all
yto
seduceher .Andi nhisstudy,wher eanyonecoul d
havewal kedi nandseent hem!Shedr aggedherT-
shir
tdownoverherswol l
enbr easts,t
heni pples
moistandsensi tized.Shereachedf orthezi pofher
j
eans, herf acef lushedwi t
hshameatt hethoughtof
whatshe’ dbeenaboutt olethim do.Ift hephone
hadn’trung, shewoul dhaveal lowedhi m—no
encour agedhi m—t otakeher,righthere, upagainst
thewal loft hest udylikesomesex- starvedmani ac.

Sti
fl
ingasobsher eachedforthedoorknobjustas
hecal l
edouthername, buthisdesperat
etoneonly
madehermor edeterminedtogetaway.She
wrenchedopent hedoor ,pr
ayingthatt
herewasno
onewasont heotherside,andranfrom t
heroom,
wishingshecouldr unawayf r
om hersel
f.

*
**
Rajivdr ovebackt oLondont hatsamedaywi tha
feel
ingofdepr essionhangi ngheavi lyoverhi m.He
hadnotseenMayaaf terthatdel i
r i
ousscenei nthe
studyandhet oldhimsel fitwasbet terthatway.He
desper atelyneededt oputsomedi stancebet ween
himsel fandher .Hecoul donl ypr aythatbei ngaway
from herdi sturbingpr esencewoul dgethi s
emot ionsbacki ntoper spectiveagai n.Itwas
diff
icultforhimt oconcei vetheef f
ectshehadon
him.Hewassi mpl ynott het ypeofmant obeso
easilyover comewi thlust.Inf act,onmor ethanone
occasi onwomenhadaccusedhi m ofbei ng“acold
fi
sh.”Hef rowned, realizi
ngt hathewassuddenl y
seeingt hosewomeni nar atherunf avorabl el
ight,
andt hatwasn’ tf ai
r.ButMaya’ sunaf fectedbeaut y,
togetherwi thheri rr
esi st
ibl
esensual it
y,wer e
i
mpossi bletoignor e.God, justbei ngaroundher
causedhi mt obr eakouti nasweat ,
nott oment ion
howf antasti
cherbodyhadf eltthismor ning
againsthi s.Ifthatdamnphonehadn’ trung…
Rajivgri
ppedt hesteeringwheeluntilhisknuckl es
turnedwhi te.Itwasagoodt hi
ngthatthephonehad
rung,het oldhimsel f
.Hi sbodydidn’
tseem t oagr ee.
Therewasat hrobbingacheashi serect i
onswel l
ed
againsthi strousersagai n,
andhewasconvi nced
hecoul dst i
llsmellherwar mf emini
nef ragranceon
hisskin.Goddammi t,
shewasl i
keaf everinhis
blood,af everhecoul dnot ,f
orthesakeofhi s
brother,succumbt o.

Pl
easel
ike,
shar
eandcomment
.
Chapt
er11

ForMayat hedaysafterRajivleftwerequi etand

tranqui
l.Shef el
tmoreher selfagainwithouthi m
around.SheandJayspentt hedayst ogether,going
forlongwal ksorswimmi ngi nthepool.Somet i
mes
theywoul ddrivetot
hevi l
lageorsomeot herl ocal
beautyspoti nthesur
r oundingar ea.
AnnaMaddoxal soseemedt ocalm downi nt he
absenceofherol derson, andherbehavi ortowar d
Mayawasal ittlewar mer .Itstil
lshockedMayat o
thi
nkt hattheot herwomanhadobser ved
somet hingbet weenher sel fandRaj iv,i
fwhathe
hadsai dwast het ruth.Coul dhehavesai dthi ngsto
tur
nhi smot heragai nsther ?Mayawonder ed.I twas
dif
ficulttothi
nkcl earlyaboutanyt hingthat
concer nedRaj iv.Justpi ctur i
nghimi nhermi nd
couldleaveheri nast at
eofemot i
onalupheaval ,
andsoshet r
iedherbestnott othinkabouthi m at
all
.Itwaseasi erdur i
ngt hedayasl ongasshekept
herselfbusy, buti twasmor ediffi
cultatnightwhen
hermi ndandbodybecamet ormentedwi thdesi r
es
shehadneverexper i
encedbef or
e.

ThreedaysafterRajivhadl eftanunexpectedvisitor
arr
ivedatCranthorpe.Ithadbeenanot hersunny
daywi t
hjustafewcl oudsandasl i
ghtbreezeint he
ai
rassheandJaymadet heirwaybackt owardt he
houseaf t
erdri
vingtoSt eepleWicktosenda
postcardtohermot herinSout hAfr
ica.
“Ohhell
,
”Jaymutter
edwit
huncharact
erist
ic
vehemence.“
Iwonderhowlongshe’
splanningon
stayi
ngthi
sti
me.”

Mayafrowned,fol
lowinghi
sgazetowar
dthebri
ght
redMiniCooperparkedint
hedri
ve.“
WhoisitJay?
”
sheaskedwithasenseofunease.

“Ki
rtiPat
el,
”Jayrespondedt
ersel
y.“
Hopi
ngt o
becomeMr sKirt
iMaddoxonedaysoon,ifsheand
mydearmot herhaveanythi
ngtodowit
hit.”

Shestar
edbackathi
m.“Ki
rtiMaddox?Youmean
she’
shopingt
omarryyou!
”

Hethr
ewbackhisheadandlaughed.“
Don’
tbedaf
t,
Maya.I
t’
sRaj
ivshe’
saft
er,
notme. ”
Mayafel
tanunexpect
edhol
lowi
nginherst
omach,
whi
chshetri
edtocoverwi
thati
ghtsmil
e.“
Oh,
what
’sshel
ike?
”

Thewor
dswer
enosoonert
houghtt
hanspoken.

“Well
,you’
llbefi
ndingoutsoonenough,
”het
oldher.
“She’
llbestayi
ngthenight
,I’
m sur
e,sowewon’tbe
ablet
oavoi dher.
”

“Oh,comeon, Jay.I’
m sur eshecan’tbeasbadas
you’r
emaki ngheroutt obe. ”Shesmiledbackat
him,tryi
ngtoignor ethef eeli
ngofdeflat
ionthatwas
darkeninghermood.I tshoul dnotcomeasa
surpri
se.Afterallanat t
ractive,r
ichandpower f
ul
manl i
keRaj i
vwashar dlylikelytobeavail
able,
especiall
ynott osomeonel ikeher.

Astheyenter
edthehouseshecoul
dhearsomeone
l
aughingexci
tedl
ythr
oughtheopendooroft
he
drawingroom,andMayaf eltagr
owingreluctance
toint
erruptt
hetêt
e-à-
têt
e.Butwithapainedsmi le,
Jayclaspedherhandandt heymovedreluctantl
y
forward.

Thefi
rstthi
ngMayanoti
cedwastheani
mated
expr
essiononAnna’
sfaceasshetur
nedtoJay.

“Oh,Jay,darl
ing,
”shesai dexci
tedl
y.“Isn’ti
t
wonder f
ul?Kirt
i’
scomet ostayforaf ewdays.She
tookpityonme, allal
onenowt hatyouhaveMaya
here,anddecidedt odri
veoverfrom Surreytokeep
mecompany. ”

Maya’
seyesf i
nall
yset t
ledont heslim,youngIndian
womanr ecl
ininggr acef
ullyont hechaiselounge.
Shewasqui t
est unning,Mayaconcededwi t
ha
si
nki
nghear t.Kirt
iPatelwasever ythi
ngt hatMaya
wasnot:beautiful
—asonl yIndi
anwomencoul d
be—dai
ntyandpet i
te,withlongsleekebonyhai r
andel
egant,delicatefeatures.Theturquoisecolor
ofherlongski
rtmatchedperfectl
ywi t
hhersilk,
patt
ernedIndi
anblouse.Wide,doe-l
ikeeyes
widenedasshecamet oherf eeti
naf lui
d,femini
ne
movementandwentt ogreetJay, ki
ssingtheair
cl
oset ohi
scheeks.

“Sanj
aydar
li
ng,howareyou?”sheaskedinal
it
tl
e
gir
l’
svoi
cethatr
emindedMayaofanact r
essf
rom a
Boll
ywoodmovie.“
Yourmother’
sbeensoworri
ed.
”

Heraccentwasperfectpol
ishedEngli
shwithjusta
touchofIndi
anmelodytoitand,al
thoughherwor ds
soundedperfect
lyi
nnocent
, Mayacouldseethe
effectt
heywerehavingonJay.

Hi
seyesfi
ll
edwithgui
ltandhi
sbodyl
anguage
mi
rror
edhi
sdejecti
on.

Hepushedhishandsi
ntothepocketsofhisj
eans
andhunchedhi
sshoul
ders.“Yeah,
wellIkeep
t
ell
inghert
her
e’snot
hingt
ogetwoundupabout
.”

“AndyoumustbeMaya.”Ki
rt
i’
sexpressi
onwasone
ofnaï
vetéasshesmi
ledupatMaya.“Itwassoki
nd
ofyoutocomedownandvisi
tdearSanjay.

Mayashookherhand,tr
yingtoquellaf
eel
ingof
i
mpati
enceatthegi
rl’
stactl
essness.

“Annatel
lsmeyou’ r
efrom Scot
land,
”Kirt
i
conti
nued,oncethey’
dseatedthemselves.“
Sot
ell
me,areyouenjoyingthel
ovelyEngli
sh
countr
yside?
”

Mayamadesomesui tabl
ereply,
awar eofJay
besi
deheront helongset t
ee.Shecoul dsensehi
s
di
scomfortbuttherewasl i
ttl
eshecoul ddoaboutit
,
besi
destr
yingtost eertheconversat
ionawayf r
om
hi
m andhisdepr essi
on.
“I
t’
ssuchapityRaji
vhadtogobacktoLondonso
soon,
”Kir
tiwassayi
ng.“Hereal
lywor
ksfart
oo
hard,
don’
tyouthi
nk,Anna?”

Watchi
ngthetwowomen,
toget
herMayacouldsee
t
hatKir
tiwoul
dmakeaperf
ectdaught
er-
in-
lawf
or
AnnaMaddox.

“Sohowlongwillyoubest
aying,
Maya?”Kir
ti
event
uall
yasked,bri
ngi
ngtheconver
sat
ionback
roundtoher
.

“Um,aboutanotherweekIt
hink,”Mayarepl
ied,
awar
eoft hefl
ickerof
…somethinginAnna
Maddox’sdarkeyes.

“Oh,wel
l,
we’l
lhavet
oar r
angeali
ttl
edinnerpar
ty
befor
eyouleave,
won’twe,Anna?
”Kirt
isuggest
ed
bri
ghtl
y.
“Ohno,
”Mayasai dquickl
y.“
Pleasedon’
t,
that
’s
qui
teunnecessary.I
—um—I ’
m enjoyi
ngt
hepeace
andqui
etreall
y.”

“Actual
ly,
Kirt
i’
squit
eright
,”Annaassert
ed.“A
dinnerpart
yisprobabl
yjustwhatweneed.I t
’sbeen
toolongsincewe’vehadone.Don’tyouagree,
Jay?”

JaygaveMayaar esignedsmil
ebef oreanswering
hismot her
.“Well
, i
tlookst omelikeyourmindsar e
alr
eadymadeup, andIguessMayacoul ddowi t
h
someent ert
ainmentbef oresheleaves.I
t’
st r
ue,
darl
ing,”heinsi
stedwhenshet r
iedtoprotest.“
We
haven’tdoneanysoci ali
zingwhil
eyou’vebeenher e.
It
’stheleastwecando. ”

“Well
,that
’sset
tl
edthen.
”Kirt
icl
appedherhands
toget
her.“
IdohopeRaj i
vcangetawayfrom
London.Weshallhavetotel
ephonehi
mt hi
s
eveni
ngAnnaanddemandt hathebehere!
”
“Howl onghasyourbrot
herknownher,Jay?
”Maya
askedwhent hey’
deventual
lymanagedtoescape
thedrawingroom.

Theywer esi t
ti
ngbesi dethepoolaf t
eran
i
nvigorati
ngswi m,whichMayahadf elttheyneeded
aft
ertheirencount erwithKirt
i.Thepoolitsel
fcould
beeitherindoororout door,accordi
ngt othe
weather.Atpr esent,t
hescreensbet weent hepool-
houseandt heconservatorywer erol
ledbackduet o
theheatoft heday.Ther ewassomet hi
ngr ather
extr
avagantaboutbei ngabletoswi m whateverthe
temperaturewas.

Mayahadal
wayslovedswi
mmi ngandthi
spar
tof
t
hehousewasbecomingherf
avori
tehaunt
.

“
About9months.Mymotheri
ntr
oducedthem,”Jay
t
oldherashel
aybackononeofthecushioned
l
ounger s,hisf aceturnedt owardt hesun.“ She
wantsRaj ivtoset t
ledownandseemst othi
nk
Kir
ti’
stheper f
ectcandi date,butI ’
m notsur ehe
agreeswi thher .Somet i
mesIt hinkhej ustgoes
al
ongwi t
ht hingstokeept hepeace, andKi r
ti
doesn’tmakeanydemandsonhi m sohecanputup
wit
hher .She’ slow-mai ntenance. ”Hef rownedfora
momentt hencont inued.“ Heknowst hathehasto
mar r
ysoonandMot herhasi ntroducedhi mto
dozensofpr ospectivebridesint hepastt woyears.
”

Mayaswal l
owedhar d.Raji
vhavi ngtomarry—his
motherintr
oducinghimt oprospecti
vebri
des?The
i
deawasqui etunpl
easantandshecoul dn’
thelp
wanti
ngt oknowmor e.“
IssheCat hol
icl
ikeyour
f
amily?”sheenqui r
edcasually.

Jaylaughed.“
No, she’
sHindu.
”Heshookhishead.
“Butshe’
smadei tquitecl
eart
hatshewoul
dbe
wil
li
ngtoconvertiftheneedar
ose.”
“Whydoeshehavet omar r
ysoon? ”Shetr
iedt
o
proj
ectat oneofmi
ldint
erest,
sli
ppingher
sunglassesontocoverhereyes.

Fort
unat
ely,
Jayseemedobl
ivi
oust
oheri
nner
tur
moil
,hi
s

eyesclosed, andf acingupt othesun.“ Many

reasons,Iguess. ”Hepaused, andMayaf eltt
he
urgetoshaket heinformat i
onoutofhi m.“ Fir
stl
y,
he’sthir
tyone.ForanI ndianman, that
’spushingit,
parti
cularl
yi fyouwantayoungI ndianbride.
Secondly, i
fhedeci dest ogetinvolvedinpol i
ti
cs,
Indi
anpol it
ics,thatis,he’l
lneedt obesettleddown
forpeoplet otakehi m seri
ously.”Hesighed.“ And
l
astly,ofcour se,t
her e’
smymot her.She’s
desperateforhi mt ogetmar ri
ed—bi gI
ndian
wedding, grandkids,thewhol eshebang. ”

Mayat r
iedt
oprocessallt
hisi
nfor
mati
on,myr
iad
quest
ionsfl
ashi
ngthroughhermind.“
Andwhy
doeshehavet omarr
yanIndianwoman?”Wasthe
fi
rstonet
hatneededtobeanswered.“
Imean,
you’r
eCathol
ic.Woul
dn’
tthatsuf
fi
ce?”

Jayl aughed, notaverypl easantlaugh.“Rajivwould

nevermar ryawomanwhowasn’ tIndi
an.Hehat es
thef actthathe’ sonlyhal fI
ndian.Myf at
herusedt o
callushal f-breeds.Asf arbackasIcanr emember ,
Rajwoul dsayhewant edhi schil
dr entobeIndian
andpr oud.Al thoughtheywi llsti
llbeone-quart
er
Engl i
sh.It hinkhecanj ustaboutl i
vewi t
hthat.
Besides, ifhedoesdeci det ogetint oI
ndianpolit
ics
he’l
lneedt obeseenasanI ndianmanwi than
Indianf ami l
y.”

“Idi
dn’tknowhewasi nt
erestedi
ngetti
ngint
o
poli
ti
cs,”shemanaged,herbrai
nsti
llt
ryi
ngto
absorballthi
snewinf
ormat i
on.

“Wel
l,
he’sveryinvol
vedi
nchari
tywor
kinIndi
aand
he’
sveryoutspokenwit
hhisvi
ewsonthesorr
y
stat
eoft hecurrentgover
nment .Alotofpeopleand
theIndianpressarepushinghimt ogetmor e
i
nvolved.Ithinktheyseehim assomeki ndof
savi
or.”Jayshookhi shead.“PoorRaji
v.”

“
Butwhataboutl
ove?
”shehadt
oask.

“Love!Raji
v?”Hethr
ewbackhisheadandl aughed.
“Noway.Mybr ot
her’
sfart
oocontr
oll
edforthat
emot i
on,Maya.Idon’
tthi
nkI’
veeverseenhim even
mildl
yinfat
uated.
”

Hesober edupsuddenl y.“Mindyou, i

thasn’tbeen
easyforhim.Si ncemyf atherdiedhe’ shadt otake
careofeverything, i
ncl
udingMot her.Beforethathe
wasquitewi l
d.Al thoughhegott hroughuni ver
sity
withhonors,hespentmostofhi stimej et-
setti
ng
aroundthewor ldwi thonewomanoranot her,much
tomypar ents’displeasure.Maybet hi
ngswoul d
havebeendi ff
er entifmyf atherhadn’tdied,butRaj
tookoverthebusi nessal mostimmedi atel
yand
managedtoproveever
yonewrongbybecomi
ngan
evenbet
terbusi
nessmanthanmyfat
herwas.
”

Mayabentherheadagai nstherr ai
sedkneesand
closedhereyes, r
emember ingRaj i
vtouchingher,
kissi
ngherwi thuncont rol
ledpassion,andshehad
toconcl udethatther ewasasi det ohimt hathi
s
brotherwasn’ tawar eof.Wasshet heonlywoman
toseehi ml i
ket hat?shewonder ed.No,itwasn’t
possible.Shewaspr obabl
yonei nalongl i
neof
woman—nott hefirstandcer t
ainlynotthelast.

Shejumpedupquickl
y,unabletoremainst
il
lwi
th
suchpai
nfult
houghtsanylonger.“I
’
m goi
ngfor
anot
herswim.Areyoucomi ng?”

Jayshookhi
shead,watchi
ngindul
gent
lyasshe
di
vedgracef
ull
yint
othewater
.

Lat
ert
hatni
ghtMayaf
oundi
timpossi
blet
osl
eep,
goingoverandovert heconversati
onwi thJayin
hermi nd.Raj ivwasl ooki
ngforawi fe,orrat
her,hi
s
mot herwasl ooki
ngf orawifeforhim!ToaBr i
ti
sh
persont hismi ghtsoundabsur d,butshef el
tsurei
t
wasnot hi
ngunusuali nIndi
ancul t
ure.CouldKir
tibe
theone?WhathadJaysai d?Shewasl ow-
mai ntenance.Andbeaut i
ful
.From whatsheknew
ofhi m,Mayaf el
tRajivwouldwantal ow-
mai ntenancewi fe,someonewhowoul ddohis
biddingwi thoutaskingquestions.

Woul dhebeunf aithfultoher ?Thethoughtmade

Mayaf eelphysi
call
yi l
l.I
tallsoundedsocol d-
blooded.Woul dKirti
,orwhoever ,
accepthim havi
ng
discreetaffai
rswhilehet raveledtheworl
don
business?Somet hingt ol
dMayat hatther
ewer ea
l
otofwomenoutt here—I ndianandnon-
Indian—whowoul dacceptsuchanar rangementin
ordertobemar r
iedtoamanl ikeRaji
vMaddox.

Whyt
hehel
lwasshel
yingher
eatoneo’
cl
ocki
nthe
morningthi
nkingaboutit?Themanwasnot hingto
her,r
eall
y.Shehadpr obabl
ybeenal i
ttl
edistr
acti
on
tohim.Ormaybehehadbeent esti
ngher ,t
ryi
ngt o
fi
ndoutifshewasgoodenoughf orhisbrother.
Well,
herbehaviorsinceshe’
dmethi m coul donly
l
eadt ooneconcl usi
on.Hesawherasawoman,
whowassupposedt obewi t
honeman, butwas
quit
ehappyf orthatman’sbrot
hertot akeli
berti
es
wit
hher !

Pl
easel
ike,
shar
eandcomment
.
Chapt
er12
Thefoll
owi ngday, Jayhadanappoi ntmentwi tha
psychotherapistinSwi ndon,andMayaof feredto
accompanyhi m, asheseemedqui t
ener vousabout
whathecal ledtheor deal.I
thadbeenobvi oust oher
duri
ngdi nnerthepr evi
ouseveni ngthatshehad
l
itt
lei
ncommonwi thbot hKir
tiandAnna, asher
andJayhadsatandl istenedtothem chattingaway
abouttheirinvolvementi nvari
ousupcomi ng
fundr
aisingevent s.AlthoughMayawasi nt endi
ngto
beginwor kwi t
hanon-pr of
itor ganizat
ioni
nt he
autumn, shewasf armor einterestedinthewor kon
thegroundr athert
hani nthef undraisi
ngpar tofi
t.
Bytheendoft hemeal,shef eltquiteti
red,only
poli
tenesspr event
ingherfrom excusi ngherselfand
escapingtot hepeacefulenvironsofherr oom.

Jaywashappyt ohaveheral
ongwithhim onthe
dri
vetoSwindon.Itwasthef
ir
stti
mehewoul dbe
meeti
ngthetherapist
.Mayawashopingitwould
notbetheordealhewasexpect
ing.

“Thisi
sprobablygoingtobeatot
alwast
eoft
ime,
”
hesaidagit
atedlyastheyappr
oachedt
heout
ski
rt
s
ofthetown.

“
Don’tsaythatJay,
”sheresponded,awar
eofthe
t
ensionbui
ldingupinhim wit
heachpassingmil
e.
“
Atleastgi
vei tat
ryandseehowi tgoes.
”
Theypar kedi noneoft hel argeshoppi ngmal l
sand
Mayawentf orawal kr oundt heshopsaf ter
arrangingt omeetJayatachosencaf éi nanhour .
Itwasst ranget obear oundal lt
hehust l
eandbust le
ofbusypeopl eaf tert hepeaceandt ranqui ll
it
yof
Cranthorpe.Mayar ealizedwi thsurpriset hatshe
hadnotmi ssedt hi shect icci t
ylif
eatal l
.Per haps
onedaysheshoul dt hinkaboutmovi ngoutofher
mot her’
sf latinEdi nbur ghandl ookingf or
somet hingi nt hecount rysideofScot land.Nott hat
shecoul daf for ditunt ilshe’ dpaidof fherst udent
l
oans, whi chwasgoi ngt ot akequi t
eaf ewyear s.
Andhowwoul dhermot herf eelaboutl ivi
ngal one?
Ithadbeenext remel ydi f
fi
cul tforbothoft hem
whenherf at herhadbeendi agnosedwi thcancer .
Hisdeat hhadl efthermot heratat otalloss, but
sinceshe’ dbeeni nCapeTownwi thhersi ster,the
childr
en, andgr andchi ldren, sheseemedt obei n
muchbet terspi r
its, anddi dnotseem i nahur ryto
returntoScot land.Al thoughMayami ssedher ,
especiallyjustaf tershe’ dfirstleftt
womont hsago,
shewasj ustr el i
evedt ohearhermot hersoundi ng
somuchmor eupbeatt hanshehadsi nceherf ather
hadpassedaway.Theytalkedont hephoneoncea
weekandemai l
edeachotherof t
en.Inf
act,Maya
hademailedherl
astni
ght,havingbroughtherol
d
l
aptopwithherfr
om Edi
nbur gh.

Shewal kedpastasmal l bout i

quewi t
hsomeeye-
catchingout f
it
sint hewindowand, oni mpul se,
wenti nside.Althoughshecoul dn’tr eall
yaf fordto
buyanyt hing,adresshangi ngont heSal er ack
i
mmedi atelycaughthereye, andshecoul dn’ tr
esist
tr
yingi ton.Thedr esswasst yledinawayt hat
coveredherneckbutl efthershoul der sandar ms
exposed, andMayaknewi twoul dbet heper fect
outfi
tf oradi nnerpartyatCr ant horpe.I twasbl ack,
madef rom asynt heti
ckni tthatendedj ustabove
herknees, andclungi nallther ightpl aces, quite
dif
ferentt oherusualst yle,mor esophi sticated.But
shef eltitwasj ustwhatsheneededt oboosther
confidence.I twoul dhel
pgethert hr oughan
eveningt hatwoul dundoubt edlyhavei tst ensions.
Beforeshecoul dchangehermi nd, Mayapul l
edout
herbankcar dandpur chasedi t,tel
lingher selfthis
theki
ndofdresswoul
dnevergooutofdat
e.Andi
t
coul
dalwayscomeinhandyint
hefutur
e.

Jaywaswai t
ingforheratthecaf
éandseemed
quit
eposit
iveabouthissessi
onwitht
he
psychot
herapist
.

“Itwasst range,”hereflected, sippi nghiscoffee

thought f
ully.“If
oundi teasyt alkingt ohim and
endedupt elli
nghim ever ything:aboutmysexual i
ty,
allaboutKur t
,myr el
ationshipwi thmymot her,
everything.Ofcour se,it
’sal l
conf identi
al.He
assuredmeoft hat.Oh, Maya. ”Hecl aspedherhand
suddenl yacr ossthetable.“ I
tf eltsogoodt obejust
myself .Li
keIam wi t
hyou. ”

Mayaf eltli
kesaying,Youdon’ tneedtoli
veal i
e,
j
ustt el
lthem t
het rut
handbedonewi t
hit.Butshe
bithertongue.Sincemeet inghismot her
—and
brother
—sher eali
zedj usthowt radi
ti
onall
yIndian
theywer e.Whil
eatuni versit
y,shehadcomet osee
Jayasmor eEnglishthanI ndian.Afterall
,hewas
halfEngli
sh.Nowt hatshehadspentt i
mewi thhi
m,
i
nhi shomewi thhisfamily,she’dseenaver y
diff
erentsidetohim.I nadditi
on, shewasnowsur e
thathismot herwouldhaveaver yhardt i
me
acceptingherson’ssexual it
y.Jayhadt oldhert
hat
someI ndian,Hindu,andCat holicfami l
ieshad
disownedt heirownchi l
drenf orcomi ngoutasgay.

Maybethet herapistcoul
dhelp,
shetoldJay.Maybe,
oncehe’dsettl
edi nwiththet
herapi
st,t
heycoul d
arr
angeaf amilysessionwhereJaymayf eelmore
confi
denti
ncomi ngoutabouthissexuali
ty.Jay
seemedtoconsi dertheidea,
butsaidhe’ddiscuss
i
twithhistherapistfi
rstandt
akeitf
rom there.

Thefol
lowingmor ni
ng,Mayamadeherwaydown
tot
hemor ningroom forbr
eakf ast
.Theweat her
out
sidelookedcloudyanddeci dedl
yhumi dandshe
wonderediftheremightbethunderstor
msl ater
.
Thi
swast hef i
rstgr
aydaysi nceshe’darr
ivedin
Engl
andoveraweekago,soshet
oldher
sel
fshe
hadnocauseforcompl
aint
s.

Usuall
y,sheateal
oneand, alt
houghJaywas
get
tingupearli
ert
hanbef ore,hewasstil
linbed
unt
ilaroundteno’
clock,
duet ot heant
i-
depressant
s
whichhesaidmadehi mf eeldrowsy.

Soitwasasur pr
isetoseeKi r
tiatt
het able,
perfect
lymadeupandl ookingquit
estunni ngina
l
ime- gr
eenl ongcollarl
essshirtandmat ching
embr oi
deredpant s,thecolorhighl
ight
ingher
str
ikingcoloringandl ong,
darkhair.

“Ohgoodmor ni
ng,Maya.Isn’
titapit
yaboutt
he
weather?
”Shepouteddeli
catel
y.“AnnaandIwere
goi
ngt oplayt
enni
swiththeLangley’
sbutIguess
wemayhavet ocancelnow.”

Mayasmi
ledsympat
het
ical
lyatherasNanaBi
bi
arr
ivedtoseewhatshewant edf orbreakf ast.She
andthehousekeeperhadbecomequi t
ef riendly,
andMayaf eltaf l
eeti
ngsenseofi mpat iencet oward
Kir
tifordisturbingthei
rpeacefulmor ningst ogether
,
butshesuppr essedit,
tel
li
ngher selfshehadno
ri
ghttof eelthisway.OnedayKi rticouldwel l
becomet hemi str
essofCranthorpe, wher easMaya
wasj ustapassi ngguest.

Af
teraski
ngforsomet
oastandcoff
ee,
Mayamade
aconcert
edeff
ortt
obepl
easantt
otheother
woman.

“I
’vemanagedt oconvinceRajivtocomeforthe
weekend,”Ki
rtiannounced,onceMaya’sbreakf
ast
wasont hetable.“
He’l
lbear r
ivi
ngtomorr
ow
eveni
ng.Isn’
tthatexcit
ing?
”

“Hmmm, yes,
”Mayanodded,
bit
ingi
ntohersl
iceof
toastandfeel
ingherst
omachcontr
actatKi
rt
i’
s
news.
“Sowe’r
eplanni
ngonhavingthedi
nnerpart
yon
Satur
daynight
.Wil
lthatbeokaywi
thyou?”Kir
ti
enqui
red,l
eani
ngherelbowsonthetabl
e.

Mayatookagulpofthestrongcof
fee,needi
ng
somethi
ngtowashdownt hetoastthatwasnow
stucki
nherthr
oat
.“Fine.
”

“IhopeJaydoesn’
tmindusarrangi
ngthi
sdinner
,”
Kirt
isai
d,r
aisi
ngherbeaut
if
ull
yshapedeyebrows.

Mayawast emptedtosay,It
’sabittool
atetobe
worr
yingaboutthatnow,butshebitbackthewords
andshookherheadi nst
ead.“It
hinkhe’
ssortof
usedtotheideanow.”

“He’sbeensomuchbet tersinceyou’
vebeenhere,
youknow,”Kir
ticonf
ided.“Isawhim notl
ong
beforeyouar
rivedandhewast err
ibl
ydepr
essed,
butInoticedtheimprovementassoonasIsawyou
withhim.”ShegaveMayaani nti
matesmil
e.“The
twoofyoumakesuchal ovelycoupleandyouget
onsowel lt
ogether
.Whyi fRajivhadtospendso
mucht imewi t
hme, he’
dpr obablybeboredto
tears.
”

Shegaveal i
tt
lelaugh,andMayawasforcedt
o
disagr
ee.“
I’
m surethat’
snott
rue,
Kirt
i,
”she
counter
ed,buttheotherwomanshookherhead.

“No,Icanseehowcl oseyouandJayare,”Kir
ti
i
nsisted.“I
t’
sobvi
oust hatyou’
remadl
yinlove.
Raji
vi sn’
tli
kehi
sbrother,he’
snotsoemoti
onal,
yousee. ”

Mayacaughtherbreat
h,wishingshecoulddisagr
ee
withever
ythi
ngKir
tiwassaying.Whatcouldshe
say?ThatJayandshewerenot“ inl
ove,
”orthat
Raji
vwasextremel
yemot i
onalfrom whatshehad
experi
enced?
Shesi mplycouldnotvoicet
hesethings,
soinst
ead
shejustshookherheadandt ri
edtomoveont oa
safertopi
c.Kir
tiwasnotanast yperson,
she
real
ized,j
ustverynaïveand,whenMayasuggested
aswi m,sheagreedtocomeal ong,alt
houghshe
wouldn’tgointhewat er
.

Itt
urnedoutt obequi teapleasantmor ni
ngand,i
n
betweenMaya’ sswi ms, t
hetwooft hem chatt
ed
aboutinnocenttopics.Kirt
iwasf l
icki
ngthrougha
magazi ne,andshebr oughtMayaupt odateonall
thecelebri
tygossip,beingquiteanexpertonmost
ofthebi gnames.Shehadevenmetaf ewofthem
thr
oughherchar it
ywor k.

Mayaf oundsomeofherstoriesofout-
of-
cont
rol
egosandvicioust
abloi
dsjournali
stsqui
te
fasci
nati
ng.Butal
lthewhil
e,inthebackofher
mindwast heremi
nderthattomorrowRajivwoul
d
beback.
Althoughapar tofherwasdr eadi ngit
, shewastoo
honestt odenythatthepr ospectofseei nghi
m
againwasanext remelytantalizingone.Wi t
hKirt
i
here,andt hemind-boggli
ngi nf ormati
onshe’d
receivedfrom Jay,sheknewt hatshewoul dneedto
stayasf arawayf rom Raji
vaspossi ble.

Heneededt ofi
ndanIndi
anwifeandsettl
edown,
whilesheneededtogett
hisweekendoverwit
hand
thenmakeherplanstogobacktoherli
fein
Edinburgh.

*
**

Raji
vcouldfeelaheighteningsenseoftensionas
hedroveclosert
oCr anthorpe.He’
dleftLondon
befor
etherushhourbeganandhad, therefore,
madegoodt ime,buthewi shedhecoul dcontrol
thi
sfeel
ingofnail
-bi
tingexcitementatthethought
ofseei ngMayaagai n.God, hehadhopedt hatbei ng
awayf rom herwoul dhelphi ssituation,buti tonl y
seemedt ohavemadet hingswor se.Inf act, he’d
foundi tdiff
iculttoconcent rat
eonanyt hi ngwhi le
hewasi nLondonand, onmor ethanoneoccasi on,
hehadseent hepeopl ehewor kedwi t
hgi vinghi m
strangeandwor r
iedl ooks, whichwast hel astt hing
thatheneeded.Bei ngt heheadofanor gani zation
asl argeasMaddoxJunt aInvestment smadei tvital
thatpeopl etrustandbel ieveinhi m, andhecoul d
nothavet hem doubt i
nghi sabili
tyt ohandl et hings.
Ther ehadbeenser iousdoubt sabouthi sabi li
tyt o
managet hecompanywhenhi sfatherhaddi ed.I t
hadt akenhi m agoodt woyear st oconvi ncet he
staffandshar eholderst hathewasupt ot hej ob.
Afteral lthehar dwor kthathadgonei ntopr oving
himsel f,thelastt hingheneedednowwaspeopl e
begi nningt odoubthi sabi l
iti
esagai n.

Maybeitwoul
dbebett
eronceshewentbackto
Scot
land,
hetol
dhi
mselfashesloweddownto
maneuverar
oundapart
icul
arl
yshar
pbend.The
t
houghtofneverseeingheragai
nleftahol
low
f
eel
inginthepitofhi
sstomach,butheknewt hat
t
hatwouldprobablybethebestoutcome.

Unl
essshedeci
dedt
ocont
inueherr
elat
ionshi
p
wit
hJay.

Rajiv’sner vestightenedatthei deaofseeingher

regul arl
yashi sbr other
’sgir
lfr
iend—orevenhi swif
e!
Thepi ct
ur einhisheadwast oodi st
urbingto
cont empl ate.Hemadeament alef f
orttopushit
aside, concent r
atingont heroadaheadwi t
ha
doggeddet erminati
ontokeephi sgraspingmind
undercont rol.

Thent her
ewasal soKirt
itocontendwi t
h.Before
meet i
ngMaya, hehadhalf-hear
tedlybeen
consideri
ngtheideaofmar ryi
ngher ,
buttheidea
wasnowbecomi ngmor eandmor eunpalat
able.
Sincehe’dturnedthi
rt
y,he’
dbeenser i
ously
contemplati
ngmar ri
age.Hewasget t
ingtoooldto
cont inuet hebachel orl i
f estylehesoenj oyed.
Besi des, hewant edchi ldren, andheknewt oomany
men, andwomen, who’ dwai tedunt iltheirforti
esto
havet hem.Thatwassomet hi nghesi mpl ydidn’t
want , butt hecl ockwast ickingandt hepr essure
wason.Notj ustfrom hi msel f,buthi smot her,who
hadbeensear chingIndi aaswel lasEngl andf ora
suitabl eIndi anbr idef orhi m.He’ dlostcountoft he
numberofI ndianwomenhi smot herhadi nt r
oduced
himt o.Mostoft hem hadbeent ooyoung, alt
hough
Mayawaspr obabl ythesameageasmanyoft hem.
Indianwomeni ngener alwer equi t
ei nnocentand
naïveunt iltheymar ried.I tmadehi mf eelqui te
uncomf ortablemeet i
ngt heseyout hful,demur egirl
s
whoseemedal mostl iket eenager st ohim.Hewas
thir
ty- one, forGod’ ssake, andnotsomeper vertwho
gott ur nedonbygi r
lswhower ebar elyoutoft heir
teens.Hesi mpl ycoul dn’ tcont empl ateit.

Mayawasadi ffer
entstor
yal
together
.Shewas
mature,
confi
dentinherownlow-keyway,and
sur
elyexper
ienced.Thought
hethoughtofherwi
th
anot
herman, especi
all
yhisbrother,wasli
keakni
fe
twi
stinginhisgut.Hehadt ogetovert hi
s
i
nfatuati
on.Ifitwasn’
tforhisbrother,
hewould
havehadherbynow, gottenheroutofhissyst
em,
andbeenr eadytomoveont omar ri
age.

Itwasnotyetfi
veo’
cl
ockwhenhepul
ledupout
side
thehouse,andasheki
ll
edt
heengi
ne,Ki
rt
icame
outtogreethi
m.

“Raji
vdarl
ing,
you’reearly.Whatani cesur pr
ise.
”
Shestoodatthebot t
om oft hestepswi t
ha
welcomingsmileonherchar mingfaceand, j
ustfor
amoment ,hewishedt hathecoul dfeelthatgut-
wrenchi
ngdesireforher, r
atherthanforawoman
whowaswayoutofhi sr each.

“Ki
rti
.”Hebrushedhercheekwi
thhi
sli
ps,
tryi
nghi
s
besttolookpl
easedtoseeher.
Theycl i
mbedthest epst ogetherandhef orced
himselftoputanar mr oundhershoul dersand
l
istentoherchatawayaboutwhatsheandhi s
mot herhadbeenupt othesepastdays.Hecoul d
feelhisski
nprickleinant i
cipati
onast heyentered
thedrawingroom, butonl yhismot herwast here.
Hef orcedhimselftomakepol i
teconversation
beforeaskingherwher eMaya—andSanj aywer e.

“Sanjay’
stakinganap,”hi
smot
herinformedhim.
“AndI ’
m notsurewhereMayai
s,probablyatt
he
pool.Shespendsal otoft
imet
here.”

Hecouldheartheunderl
yingcr i
ti
cism i
nhis
mother’
svoice,
butchoset oignoreit
.Whatwas
wrongwithspendi
ngtimei nthepool,forGod’
s
sake?Helovedtoswim,insummerandwi nt
er,
al
thoughhecouldnotrecallseeinghismotheror
Kir
tit
akeadi pi
nthepool.Ever.

Hewal
kedt
othedoor
,feel
ingi
ncr
easi
ngl
yrest
less.
Nowt hathewasatthehouse,hefel
timpati
entt
o
seeher.“It
hinkI
’
llgoandtakeashower.”He
rubbedthebackofhisneck.“
Ifyoudon’
tmind?”

Thetwowomennoddedthei
rperf
ect
lygroomed
dar
kheadsinuni
son,
andRaj i
vmadehisescape
wit
haheart
fel
tsi
ghofrel
ief
.

Hedi dgof orashower ,butinsteadofusi nghisen-

suitebat hroom, hef oundhi msel fwal kingtowar d
thesol ari
um.I tmi ghtbeacr azyt hingt odo, buthe
want edtoseehernow, andi fshehappenedt obe
enjoyingaswi m, thatwasnotgoi ngt ost ophim.He
openedt hesli
di ngdoor s,whi chsepar atedthepool
areaf r
om t heconser vator
y,wi t
houtmaki nga
sound.Hemovedqui etl
ytowar dt hechangi ng-
roomsonhi sleft,catchingat antalizi
nggl i
mpseof
herenj oyingal eisurelycrawlal ongt hel engthofthe
pool.Heent er
edt hechange- roomsbef oreshe
couldseehi m andst ri
ppedof fqui ckl
y, stepping
undert heshowerwi thasi ghofpl easur east he
watercooledhisheat edbody.NanaBibialways
madesur easel ect
ionofswimsui t
sandtrunkswer e
avail
ableforguestsandhepul l
edonapai rofbl ack
shortssuppressingtheurgetoleavethem behind
andswi m wit
hheri nthenude.Thei mageofher
nakedinthewat erwasenought obr i
nghimt of ul
l
arousalandhecur sedt ohi
mselfashewasf orced
toclimbunderthecol dshoweragainbeforefinall
y
exit
ingthechange-room.

Pl
easel
ike,
shar
eandcomment
.
Chapt
er13

Mayal etoutafri
ght
enedyelpasshef el
tsomeone,
orsomet hi
ng,di
veintothewater
.Shegr abbedont
o
theri
m ofthepoolandwat chedwithathunderi
ng
heartasthedarkform nowunderthewat ermade
i
tswayswi f
tl
ytowardher.

“
You!
”shegaspedwi
thami
xtur
eofr
eli
efand
tr
epidat
ionwhenhefinal
lysurf
acedr
ightbesi
deher
,
gri
nningwickedl
yathert
erri
fi
edexpr
ession.

“Well
,whodidyouexpect
?”hecount
ered,r
aking
backhisdr
ippi
nghairwit
hlongbr
ownf i
ngers.

Asshest aredi nt
ohi slaughingbl ueeyes, Mayaf elt
apainfulmeltingfeelinginthepi tofherst omach.
Shehadmi ssedhi m, sherealizedashert hroat
ti
ghtenedandbr eathi
ngbecamedi f
ficult
.
Somet hi
ngofwhatshewasf eelingmusthave
showni nherf ace,forhisgazedar kened, thepupil
s
dil
ati
ngsot hathi seyesappear edal mostbl ack.He
reachedoutandbr ushedhi st humbagai nstherwet
l
ipsinasensual l
y,inti
mategest ur e,butbef or
eshe
couldreacttohi sburningtouchhepul ledaway.

“Raceyoutotheendandback,
”hechallenged,
movingawayf r
om her
.“Comeon—orar eyou
scaredI
’l
lbeatyou,
”headdedatherhesit
ati
on.
Mayawast emptedtor
efusebutthegl eaming
chall
engeinhiseyesconvincedher.Besides,she
wasagoodswi mmerand,althoughhewasbi gger
andstrongerthanshe,
shecoul dst
illgivehi
m ar un
forhi
smoney.

Hewasanexcel l
entswimmerand, althoughshe
beathim—j ust—sheknewt hathe’dallowedherto.
Butsheenj oyedhermomentofgl oryjustthesame.
Theyswam f oragoodhal fhourandMayaf ound
hi
spl ayful
nessi nthewat erquit
einvigorati
ng.She
andJayusual l
yswam l apsjusttoexer ci
setheir
bodies,butthiswasdi f
ferent.Thiswaspur efun
andt hefactthatshewasexci t
edt oseehim again
j
ustaddedt oherpleasure.

Final
ly,sheprot
estedt
hatshewassi mplytooti
red
toswim anymor eandcli
mbedout,onlegsthat
couldhardlycarr
yher,t
oflopdownontooneoft he
cushionedloungerswi
thanexhaustedlaugh.
Squeezingtheexcesswat eroutofherlonghair
,
sher ubbedherbodylazi
lywithafluff
ywhi t
etowel,
glancingsurr
epti
ti
ouslyoverathim asheemer ged
fr
om t hepool
.

Theblack, l
ow-wai
stedshortsmouldedtohisthi
ghs
andhisdar kbrownskingleamedasdr opl
etsof
waterst r
eamedoffhisleanmuscularbody.Ther
e
wasnotanounceofsuper fl
uousfl
eshonhi stal
l
athl
eticframe.Shefel
tthesamemel ti
ngweakness
beginninglowinherstomachjustbylooki
ngatthe
mascul i
nebeautyofhisbody.

“Thatwasj ustwhatIneededaft
erthelongdri
ve
from London,”heannounced,
pushinghiswethair
backandhel pinghimsel
ftooneofthetowels
stackedalongt hesi
deofthepoolarea.

“Whendidyougether
e?”sheaskedcuri
ously,ashe
satdownonthesideoft
hestr
ipedloungerbeside
her.
“Aboutanhourago,
Iguess,
”her
emar
ked,
rubbi
ng
hishai
rdrywit
hthetowel
.

Hewasf acingher,hisbrownf eetsetsquar el

yon
thet i
l
edf l
oorandhi skneesapar t,
all
owi nghera
gli
mpseofl eanmuscul art
highsspr i
nkledwi t
hhair
thatgl i
ntedagainsthi sdar
kbr onzeskin.Hewas
tooclosef orcomfor t
.Mayalookedaway,
moi steningherlipsashedr oppedt hetoweland
l
eanedevencl oser
, casual
lyresti
nghisf orearms
alonghi sthighs.

Shesatf or
war d.Underhisscrut
iny,herblack
bathi
ngsui tseemedsuddenlymuchmor ereveali
ng
thanithadbef ore,andshewrappedherar msr ound
herraisedknees, allt
ooawareofhisinti
mat egaze.

“Looksl
ikeyou’
vecaughtsomesunsi
nceyoubeen
here,
”hesaid“I
tsui
tsyou.
”Hisvoi
cewaswarm
andhusky,
hiseyesmovi
nghot
lyoverherbody.
“Haveyoumissedme?”

Maya’ sheadshotupasshest aredathim,

wonder i
ngi fshehadheardri
ght .Buthisdarkened,
l
anguor ouseyest ol
dherthatshehadhear dhi m
correctl
y.Shedr ewatrembli
ngbr eath,
feel
ingher
breastsswel lagai
nstt
heconst r
icti
ngswimsui tand
heatpool ,
li
kemel ti
nghoney,betweenhert hi
ghs.

“
Idon’tknowwhatyoumean,”shel
ied,hereyes
t
rappedbythedesi
rethatf
lar
edinhis.

“Don’tl
ietome,”hesai
droughl
yandr eachedoutt
o
twistalockofherdampenedhai
raroundhisfi
nger,
tuggingatital
mostpai
nful
lyasi
ftopunishherfor
herdeceit.

“
Sot
her
eyouar
e!”
Mayaj er
kedr oundcont
rit
elyt
oseeKi r
tist
andingat
theglassslidi
ngdoorsthatl
edtotheconservator
y.
Herhigh-heelscli
ckedl
oudlyagai
nsttheti
lesas
shecamet owardthem,anexasper
atedsmi l
eon
herface.

“I
’vebeenlooki
ngeverywher
eforyou,Raj
iv.You
shouldhavesaidyouwerecomingforaswi m.I
wouldhavejoinedyou.
”

Itseemedt hatKi
rtifoundnot hingunusualabout
thesceneshehadj ustinterr
upted,andMaya
wishedshedi dn’
tfeel soflushedandgui l
ty.Af
teral
l,
shehaddonenot hingwr ong.Al t
houghitwasnot
diff
icul
ttoimaginewhatcoul dhavehappenedi f
Kirt
ihadn’tint
err
upt edthem.

“
Ithoughtyoudi
dn’
tli
keswi
mmi
ng,
”Raj
iv
r
espondedcooll
y.
Hisonl
yconcessiontohi
sKir
ti
’sarr
ivalhadbeento
l
etgoofMaya’shair,
andshefeltasenseofunease
athi
sindi
ff
erentbehavi
or.

Kirt
icametoahaltbesi
dethem,hersmi
lesl
ight
ly
teasi
ng.“
Idon’
t,
”sheagreed.“
ButIcoul
dhavekept
youcompany,darl
ing.
”

“IhadMayatokeepmecompany,
”heremar
ked
dryl
y,andMayasti
fl
edagasp,
wanti
ngtosl
aphi
s
l
ean,handsomeface.

Hedidnotseem t
heleastbi
tbother
edbyt he
si
tuat
ion,wher
easMayawassqui rmingwi t
h
di
scomf or
tandshame.AsforpoorKirt
i,shewas
nowatal ossf
orwords.

Sensingtheot
hergir
l’sdi
scomf ort
,Mayastoodup
quickl
y.“Wel
l,
I’
dbetterbegoing.”ShegaveKir
tian
encouragi
ngsmileandwr appedthetowel
prot
ecti
vel
yaroundherbody.“
Jaymi
ghtbelooki
ng
forme.Um,IguessI’
l
lseeyoubothl
atert
hen.
”

Withoutgivi
nghim asecondglance,shewalked
swift
lyint
othechange-rooms,dragginghercl
othes
uncaringl
yoverherdampswi msuit.Shethen
sli
ppedoutthroughtheslidi
ngdoorsl i
keathi
efin
thenight.

Upstairsinherbedr oom, Mayaf umedathi s

unfazedbehavi orandatherowngul l
ibili
ty.God
onlyknewwhatwoul dhavehappenedi fKi r
tihadn’t
arri
ved,andMaya’ sbl oodr ancoldatthet houghtof
theotherwomandi scover i
ngt hem behavi ngi nan
i
nappr opriat
emanner .Itwasnotasi fithadn’ t
happenedbef or
e,sher emindedher selfgriml y,and
onlyluckhadpr eventedt hem from being
discoveredthatlastti
mei nhisstudy.Shebi t
painfull
ydownonherl owerlip.Shewast oo
vulnerablewherehewasconcer ned.Thi saf ternoon
proveditonceagai n,andt heonl ysol
ut i
onshe
couldthi
nkofwastoremoveher
sel
ffr
om hi
s
presencecompl
etel
y.

Asshepeel edof fthedampswi msui tandcl i

mbed
undert hehotspr ayoft heshower ,Mayat r
iedto
decidewhenwast hesoonestt hatshecoul dleave.
Jaywoul dbedi sappoi ntedofcour se,buthopef ul
ly,
hiswor kwi t
ht hecounsel lorwoul dhel phim make
thedeci si
onsheneededt omake.I fshet oldJay
toni
ght ,shecoul dleavesomet i
menextweek.That
shouldbeokay.Shel at heredher selfwi t
hthe
l
uxur i
oussoapandt r
iednott ofeeldespondent .I
t
wasnotonl yletti
ngJaydownt hatupsether ,she
admi t
ted, i
twast heknowl edgethatshewoul d
neverseeRaj i
vagai nt hatchokedher .Asst upi
das
i
tseemed, meet inghim hadchangedheri nsome
way.Whathadpassedbet weent hem wasnot
somet hingshewasl i
kel ytoforget ,evenifitwas
j
ustapassi ngdi versi
onf orhim.

Howcoul
dhebehavel
iket
hiswi
thherwhenhewas
planningt ogetmar ried?Eveni fhewasn’ tyetsur e
whohi sfuturewi fewasgoi ngtobe?Ri diculous,
ri
ght?Notknowi ngwhoyouwer egoingt omar ry,
butpr eparingf oritanyway.Per hapsifhehadbeen
engagedwhenshe’ df ir
stmethi m,shewoul dnot
havef eltthisattracti
ont ohim.Yeahr ight.Okay, so
nothingcoul dhavepr event
edherf rom the
attr
act i
onshef eltforhim.Orwasshej ustsexually
awar eofhi m?Wast her eadiff
erence?Shet hought
so.At tr
actiondi dn’tgohal f
-wayt odescribingthe
l
evelofawar enesst hatshef el
taroundhi m.

Sheclimbedoutoft heshowerandcover edherself

i
nt hehugepi nkbatht owel ,avoi
dingthehaunt i
ng
facerefl
ectedinthemi r
ror .Wasitlessthananhour
agothatshehadf elthappyandcar efr
ee,laughing
andswi mmi ngwi t
hhi m asi fnothi
ngandnobody
elseexi
sted?ButKi rtiexisted,andtherewasno
doubtthatshewoul dmakeanexcel l
entwife.Maya
pull
edthebat htowelt i
ght eraroundher,unablet o
i
gnorethepai nfulachet hatgr i
ppedher.Shewoul d
havetogodownst airssoonandbehaveasi f
nothi
nghadhappened,
andyetherwhol
efr
ameof
mindhadnowalter
ed.

Shef or
cedher selftodressfordinner,wi
shingshe
couldjustcrawlundert heblanketsandforget
aboutever yt
hing, i
fonl
yf orawhile.Butt
hatwas
i
mpossi ble,andsoshebr ushedherhalf-
wethair
andtieditinal ongplai
tdownherback.Per haps
sheshoul dgeti tcutwhenshegotbackt o
Edinburgh.Itseemedl i
ket i
mef orachange.

Shegrabbedthefir
stthingsthatcametoherhands
fr
om thewardrobe,whichhappenedtobet he
beadedemeraldblousethatshehadwor nonher
fi
rstni
ghtwit
hhi minLondon.Herl i
pstwistedi
na
painf
ulsmil
e.Howl ongagot hatseemedtohernow.

Withtheblouse,sheworeasi mple,
black,si
lky,
wraparoundskirtt
hatf
ellsoft
lydownt oherankles.
Reali
zingthatshewaslate,sheaddedj ustatouch
ofglosstoherli
ps,qui
teunawar eofhowyoung
andsuscept
ibl
eherunmadef aceandsi
mple
hai
rst
ylewouldappeart
othosearoundher
.

Jaywaspouringhi
mselfadri
nkasAnnaandKi r
ti
satchat
ti
ngtoget
heronthesett
ee,
whil
eRajivwas
nowheretobeseen,
andshetri
edtotel
lher
selft
hat
shewasglad.

Jaycamet ogreether
,alookofreli
efonhisface.
“Hi
,pri
ncess.
”Het ookherhand.“Youlooklovel
y.
Comeletmegetyouadr i
nk.”

Shefoll
owedhim overt
othedrinkscabi
net
,
greet
ingthet
wowomenpol it
elyasshepassedby.

“Di
dyouenj oyyouraf
ter
noonswi m?”Jayasked,
andMayaf eltt
hehotcol
orinvadehercheeksathi
s
i
nnocentquestion.
“Mmm, yes,t
hankyou,
”shesai
dqui
etl
y,hopi
nghe
didn’
tnot
iceherdi
scomfor
t.

“IwasjustsayingI’
l
lneedRajivtogivemesome
swimmi nglessonssoon.”Ki
rt
ihadobviouslyheard
them andcomeovert ojoini
n.“Hesaysyou’rea
verygoodswi mmer,Maya.Ifeelquit
ejeal
ous,”she
conceded,pull
ingafaceandlaughing.

“
Howwoul
dheknow?
”Jayaskedwi
thaf
rown

“Oh,didn’
tMayat el
lyou?Raj i
vjoi
nedheratt
he
pooljustaft
erhear r
ived.Theywereswimmingf
or
ages,weren’tyou,Maya? ”

Shecouldfeeltheheatpri
ckl
ingonherskinast hey
bothstar
edather .“Wel
l,
itwasn’tt
hatlongreal
ly.
”
Shetookal ar
gesi poft
hewhi t
ewineJayhad
pouredforherandsmi l
edbri
ghtlyattheother
woman.“ Youlooklovel
y,Ki
rt
i.Thatcolorr
eall
y
sui
tsyou.
”

Itwasar el
iefthatshe’
dchosentheperfectsubject
todistr
actKirt
iwith.Mayapret
endedtol i
stenwith
i
nteresttotheotherwomant al
kingabouttheIndian
designerofthepale-bl
uedr
essshehadont hi
s
evening.

“I
’m savi
ngmyVer sacefort
omorr
ownight,
”Ki
rt
i
conti
nuedavi
dly.“
Phoebe’sbri
ngi
nghernew
boyfri
endandI
’m simplydyi
ngtomeethi
m.”

Mayanoddedabsent l
y,hardlytaki
ngi nawor dshe
wassaying,Raj
ivhadjustent er
edt her oom andhis
dist
urbi
ngpresenceimmedi atel
yplayedhavocwi t
h
hersenses.Helookeddarklyattr
activei nawhi t
e
l
inenshir
tandblacktrousers.Mayaf eltherl
imbs
weakenasshemethi sbr oodinggazef orabrief
momentbef or
eshemanagedt odraghereyesaway.
“Sor
ryI’
ml at
e,”heannouncedt
onoonei
n
part
icul
arashecamei ntother
oom.

Kirt
iwenttol i
nkherar m possessi vel
ythroughhi s.
Eveni nextr
a-highheels,shestillonlyreachedsome
pointbelowhischin.Mayaf oundher selfwatching
them withami xtur
eoff ascinationanddr ead.This
wast hefir
sttime,besidesear l
ieratthepool ,
that
shehadseent hem togetherasacoupl e.

“
Youwor ktoohard,dar
li
ng,
”Kirticooed,r
unninga
l
ongpaintednai
lalongthesoftclothofhi
sshirt
.
“
Come,letJaypouryoual i
tt
ledr i
nk.Youlookquit
e
t
ense,
doesn’the,Anna?”

Mayamovedqui ckl
ytowar dtheFrenchwindows,
pret
endi ngtolookoutatt heblossomingshrubs.I
t
wasst i
llquiteli
ghtoutsi
deand, alt
houghtheday
hadbeenal itt
lecl
oudy,theeveninghadseent he
skyclear .I
tlookedasiftheymi ghtenj
oyanother
beauti
fulsunset .
Pl
easel
ikeshar
eandcomment
Chapt
er14

Mayaf oundtheeveni ngquiteastrai

n.Kir
ti
monopol i
zedmostoft heconversati
on,whichwas
probablyagoodt hi
ngasi tmeantt hatherown
sil
encewentmai nlyunnoticed.Shewasawar eof
Raji
v’seyesonherf rom ti
met otimebutshe
managedt ostudiouslyavoidmeet i
nghisgaze,
fearf
uloftheeff
ectthosehoodedeyescoul dhave
onher .

Shemanagedt ogetawayst r
aightafterdinnerwith
theexcuseofaheadache, whi chwaspar tl
yt r
ue.
Havingtowat chKirt
iandhi mt ogetherhadnotbeen
easy.Observi
ngtheot herwomanasshet ouched
him andfli
rt
edwithhimi nat otallypropr
ietary
mannerhadbeenmor edif
ficultthanMayacoul d
havei magi
ned.Asshepul ledof fherclothesinthe
safetyofherbedroom andl oosenedherhai r
,Maya
f
eltmorecertai
nthaneverthatshehadt
ogetaway
f
rom t
hisplace—orrat
her,t
hisman.

Shewasj ustabouttocli
mbintobedwhenaknock
atthedoormadeherj ump.“Whoisit
?”sheasked,
herheartt
hunderinginherear
sassheimagined
Rajiv,
await
ingheront heot
hersi
deofthedoor.

“
It
’sme,
Jay.
”

Mayadespisedherselff
orthef
eeli
ngofsinki
ng
disappoi
ntmentatthesoundofherfr
iend’
svoice.
Lord,whatwouldshehavedoneifitwasRaji
v?
Invi
tedhimint
oherr oom—andherbed?

“Comei
n,Jay,
”shesai
d,dr
awi
ngast
eadyi
ngbr
eat
h
assheopenedt
hedoor.

“
How’
syourheadache?
”heenqui
red,
fol
lowi
ngher
i
ntot
her
oom andcl
osi
ngt
hedoorbehi
ndhi
m.

“Um,alit
tl
ebetterIt
hink.Si
tdown.”Shepat t
edthe
mattr
essbesideher,buthemovedt othedressi
ng
tabl
einst
ead,avoidi
nghereyes.“
Whati sit,
Jay?”
sheasked,sensingsomethi
ngwasnotr ight.

Final
ly,het
urnedt
ofaceher
.“Youdidn’
ttel
lme
you’dgoneswimmingwit
hRajivt
hisaft
ernoon,
Maya. ”

Hi
svoicewasmor econcernedthanaccusing,but
st
il
lshefel
therf
aceredden.“I
’m sorr
y.Ididn’
tthi
nk
i
twasthatimpor
tant
,Jay,”shemur mured,tr
yingt
o
hi
deherburni
ngcheeksbehindherlong,loosehair
.

“God,Maya,don’
ttel
lmet here’
ssomet
hinggoing
onbetweenyoutwo! ”heexclai
med,movi
ng
agit
atedl
yroundther oom.“
WhenIsawyourf ace
thi
sevening—hel
litsuddenlystr
uckme.Youlooked
soguil
ty.Howl onghasitbeengoingon?”Hest
ood
suddenlystil
landfi
xedhisfi
ercegazeonher
fl
ushedf ace.

“Jay,pl
ease.Not
hing’
sgoi
ngon.
”Shest
aredupat
him beseechi
ngl
y.“Whyar
eyousayi
ngt
hese
thi
ngs?”

“BecauseIsawyourf acewhenKi rtisaidyou’ dbeen

swimmi ngwi thhim. ”Hebeganpaci ngagai n.“And
thenInot i
cedhi m duringdi nner.God, hecoul dn’t
keephiseyesof fyou!Ki rt
imusthavebeenbl i
nd
nottonot i
ce.”Her ant roubledfinger st hroughhi s
l
onghai r.“Maya, youdon’ tknowmybr ot herli
keI
do.Whenwewer eyounger ,peopleal wayssai dI
wast hehandsomeone, butbeli
evemei twas
alwayshi m whogott hegirls.Nott hatIcar eda
damn, ofcour se.
”Hel aughedder isively.“ Theywer e
crazyabouthi m andhet ookf ul
ladvant ageof
i
t—lovethem andl eavet hem, orratherscr ewt hem
andleavet hem—t hatwasRaj i
v.”
Mayali
stenedwit
hamixtur
eoffasci
nati
onand
horr
or,
notsayi
ngaword,andJaycamet osi
t
besi
deher,t
aki
nghercol
dhandinhis.

“ThereasonI ’
mtelli
ngyoual lthisis’causeIdon’t
wantyout ogethur t
,andRaj ivismor ethancapable
ofhurtingyou.Doyouunder stand?He’ stoousedto
gett
ing—ort aking—whathewant swher ewomen
areconcer ned.Maybei t’
sbecausehecoul dnever
befree, becauseallhisli
fe,ast heoldestson,he
knewt hef amilyresponsi
bi l
it
ieswoul dbeheaped
onhim.Butwhat everitwas, it’
sgivenhi ma
heartl
essst reak,especi
allywher ewomenar e
concerned.

“He’salwayshadatleastonemi st
ress,sometimes
twoatat ime—oneherei ntheUKandusual lyonein
India.
”Jaypaused,cl
enchi nghi
sfist
sinf ur
y.“And
asyounowknow, he’
sl ookingf
orawi f
e—anI ndian
wife.Itol
dyou.He’salwayssaidthatwhenhe
marr
iesi
twil
lbetoatradi
ti
onalI
ndi
anwoman.
MaybeKir
ti
,buti
fnot,
someoneofheri
lk,
ifyou
knowwhatImean.”

Mayadr oppedherheaddownbetweenher
shoulders.Yes,
sheknewhewantedli
tt
leI
ndi
an
babies,whowoul dn’
tst
andout
,orbebul
li
ed,
li
ke
him andJayhadbeen.

“Idon’tthinkhe’
scapableoffal
li
nginl
ove.It
hink
hejustgotbor edwithal
lthefool
ingar
oundand
decidedi twasti
met osett
ledown.Doyou
understandwhatI ’
m sayi
ng,Maya?Because,God
knows, Idon’twantyoutoendupheartbr
okenlike
me!”
•
•

Isay,
Raj
iv,
youandKir
tiwi
llhavet
ocomer
oundf
or
agameoftenni
ssoon.
”

Rajivnoddedhi sheadabsent l
yashel if
tedt he
tumblerofwhi skytohi slipsanddr ai
nedt heglass,
enjoyi
ngthewayt heal coholbur nedal ltheway
downt otheknotoft ensi ont hathadset tledinthe
pitofhisst
omach.Ther oom f eltnoisyand
congested,event houghheknewt hatther ewere
onlytenofthem f ordinner .Kir
tihadi nformedhi m
ofthedetail
smor ethanoncei nt hepastt wenty-
fourhours,yetalltheboist erouschat termadet he
room seem over -
crowdedandl oud.
Ther ewast hel ocaldoctor,CraigSomer set,a
widowercl oset ohi smotheri nage, andt hent here
weret heLangl eys.ErwinLangl ey,theol derman
Rajivwaspr ofessingtohaveaconver sationwi th
ri
ghtnow, hiswi f
eSusan, andt heirdaught er
Phoebe.Ki rtiandPhoebewer egoodf r
iends, who’d
mett hef i
rstti
meKi rt
ihadvi si
tedCr anthor pe.They
certainlyhadal otincommon, eveni fPhoebewas
asEngl i
shast heycome, Rajivacknowl edgedwr yly,
watchi ngthet wooft hem gossi pi
ngavi dlyt ogether
attheot herendoft heroom.

ThentherewasPhoebe’snewboyfri
end,
Timothy
Osborne,whohadatt
achedhimselft
oMayal i
kean
eagerpuppy-
dog,sal
ivat
ingwi
thexcit
ementatthe
si
ghtofher.

“CanIgetyouanotherdr
ink,
Erwi
n,”Raj
ivof
fer
ed,
draggi
nghiseyesbacktothemanbesidehi
m.

“
Andwhynot
?”Theol
dermanpassedRaj
ivhi
s
glass.“
Sameagai
nforme,
butmakei
tasi
ngl
ethi
s
ti
me, ol
dchap.
”

Rajivnodded, movingfrom theFrenchwi ndowst o

thedrinkscabi net
.Hetriedtoavoidlooki
ngoverat
heragain,hiseyesdr awnlikeamot htoaf lame.
From themoment ,shehadwal kedintother oom i
n
thatsli
nkybl ackdress,herbareli
mbssmoot hand
tanned,andhervi vidhairl
ooselyti
edatt hetopof
herhead, Rajivhadbeenover comewi thpure
unadulter
atedl ust
.Hepour edhimselfanother
doublewhi skyandasi ngleforErwin,qui
teawar e
thathewasdr inki
ngmor ethanheshoul d.

Jaywaschat t
ingawayt oSusanLangl ey,Raj
iv
noticed,t
otal
lyunconcer nedt hatMayawasbei ng
hitonbyt hatyoungidiotOsbor nef
ort hepast
fi
fteenminutes,atleast.Didn’thecar e?Itwasa
sober i
ngthoughtand, notfort hefi
rsttime,Raj
iv
wonder edifperhapshisbr otherandMayawer e
reall
yjustfri
ends.Butheshr uggedt heideaaway
aswi
shfult
hinki
ng.Nor
ed-bl
oodedmalecoul
djust
bef
ri
endswithawomanl i
keher.I
twassi
mply
i
mpossi
ble.

Itwasar eli
efwhenNanaBi biannouncedt hat
dinnerwasr eadyand, astheymovedt hrought othe
diningr oom, hegainedsomecomf ortfr
om thef act
thatt heyoungt of
fwasn’ tsi
tti
ngbesideMaya.Hi s
mot heroccupi edoneendoft hetabl
eandhe, Raji
v,
tookhi sfather’
splaceatt heotherend.OnAnna’ s
right,satthegooddoct orand, onherlef
t,was
SusanLangl ey.Mayawasseat edbetweent he
doct orandJay, whileRajivhadtomakedowi t
h
Ki r
tionhi sri
ghtandPhoebeLangl eyonhisl eft
.

“Raj
iv,
younaught
yboy,
”Ki
rt
ipout
ed.“
Youhaven’
t
evenmenti
onedmynewdress.
”

“Sorr
y.”Hi
sveil
edeyesmovedovert
hegold
sequineddr
essandheswallowedamouthfuloft
he
Burgundywinebef
oresayi
ngdryl
y,“
Itsui
tsyou,
Ki
rt
i.Whatt
her
eisofi
t,t
hati
s.”

Kir
tigiggledexci tedlyathi sr eply,quit
eunawar eof
howunf avor abl
yshewasbei ngcompar edt oMaya,
whot urnedt osmi l
eatJayandt henst oppedshor t
asshemetRaj i
v’sheat edgaze.Thr oughsheer
wil
lpower ,
hehel dhereyes, uncar i
ngofwhomi ght
beobser vingt hem.Hewant edhert oknowhowhe
wasf eeling.Shehadpr acticallyignoredhi mt he
wholeeveni ng,smi l
ingandconver singwi th
everyoneexcepthi m, andher esentedherf orit.
Dammi t,didn’twhathadpassedbet weent hem
meananyt hingt oher ?Hi slifehadbecomea
tor
mentsi ncehe’ dfirstlaideyesonher .Didn’tshe
knowt hat ?Shemanagedt ol ookawayf inall
y,her
l
ovelyf acef lushedwi thcol or,andhef eltapet t
y
senseoft r
iumphf orunder mi ninghercoolf acade.

“Kir
tit
ellsmeyou’
regoi
ngtoteachherhowto
swim.”PhoebeLangl
ey’
svoiceint
err
uptedhi
s
thoughts.
Raji
vfrownedather .Shewasnotapar t
icular
ly
pr
ettygirl
,butclevermake-
upandevencl everer
pl
asticsurgeryhadgivenherareasonably
at
tracti
velook.“Iam?”hequest
ionedwithsome
i
rri
tati
on.

“Ohplease,darl
ing.I
t’
llbesuchf un.
”Kir
ticlasped
hisarm,gazingappealingl
yintohiseyes.Hehadt o
forcehi
msel fnottopullawayfrom hercli
nging
fi
ngers.“
JayandMayaspendsomucht i
meatt he
pool,
”shecont i
nued.“Anditlookssorelaxi
ng.Ido
sowantust odot hesame. ”

Hisjawclenchedatthepict
ureKir
tihadpaint
edof
Mayaandhi sbrot
her.Whatelsedidtheydobyt he
pool?hewondered,glar
ingatthet
wooft hem fr
om
acrosst
het abl
e.

“
Idon’
thavet
het
imer
ightnow,
Kir
ti
,”hesai
d,
extractinghi msel
ffrom hergrasp.“Maybeyou
shoul dthinkabouthi r
ingapr of
essional
.”Heknew
hewasbei nginsensit
ive,
maybeevencr uel,
buthe
simpl ycoul dnotimaginehimselfspendingti
me
teachingKi rtit
oswim.I nfact,t
hethoughtof
spendi nganyt imealonewi thherwasbecomi ng
anat hemat ohim.Whyt hi
swas, andwhathewas
goingt odoabouti t
,wasnotsomet hinghewas
prepar edtoexami nerightnow.

Kirt
iwasl ookingsul kyandhur t, wit
hPhoebegi ving
hersympat heticglancest hatlef thi
mf eeli
nggui lty
andf rust
ratedatt hesamet ime.Thewhol e
sit
uationwithKi r
tiwasbegi nningt ofeell
ikea
charade.Looki ngback, hecoul dseet hatitwashi s
mot herwhohadt hrownt hem t ogether,andhehad
all
owedt her el
ationshiptocont i
nuesi mplyoutof
apathy.Hehadnor ealfeelingsf orthegir
l,andt he
factthathehadt oyedwi t
ht hei deaofmar ryingher
onedayseemedl udicrousnow.Hecoul dn’tget
mar ri
edsimpl ybecausehi smot herexpect edit
, and
thentochoosesomeone, simplybecauseshewas
deemed“
sui
tabl
e,
”seemedt
otal
lyabsur
d.

Onceagai n,hiseyeswer edrawnt othewoman

responsibleforallthisupheaval.Shewast alki
ngto
Jay,smilingashi sbr ot
herreachedoutt ocaress
hersmoot hnakedar m.Rajivti
ght enedhisgripon
thedeli
cat ewinegl asshewashol dingtoprevent
himselffrom leaningoveranddr agginghi
s
brother
’shandsawayf rom her.

Wit
hadeep,steadyingbr eath,heslowlyeasedhi
s
gr
ipontheglass.Itwouldn’tdotogocr ushing
gl
assesatci
vil
izeddinnerpar t
ies,hetoldhi
mself
bi
tt
erl
y,anddrainedthewi neinstead.
Chapt
er15

Mayast eppedoutontothespaciouspati
oand
breat
hedi nthefr
eshnightai
rwithsomedegreeof
rel
ief
.Itwasgoodt ogetaway,evenifonl
yforafew
minutes,forsheknewshewouldhavet ogobackin
andmi ngl
eagainsoon.Asshe’ dexpected,t
he
eveni
nghadbeenast rai
n.Besidesthefactthatshe
wasnotusedt odinnerparti
esofthiscali
ber,her
awarenessofRajiv,andthefeel
ingsheevoked, had
l
eftherfeel
ingdrainedandvulnerabl
e.

AfterJay’soutburstlastnightMayahadtol
dhim of
herpl antoleavewithinthenextfewdaysand,
alt
houghhehadbeendi sappoi
nted,
evenangr
y,
eventuallyhe’dagreedthatsheneededtodowhat
shef eltwasbest.

“Al
lal
one?”Thatdeepvel
vet
yvoicecausedher
hear
ttothumpheavil
yinherchest
.

Mayaf el
theatprickl
ingonherski nashisgaze
movedf rom herfacetoherbar eshoul
dersand
downt helengthofherlegs.“Ineededsomef r
esh
air
,”shesaidwithmor ecoolnessthanshefelt
.
“That’
sall.
”
“Thatdresssuit
syou,
”hesaidsoft
ly,hisblueeyes
elect
ri
cast heyset
tl
edbackonherf ace.“I
t’
sno
wonderhe’sbeendrool
ingoveryoulikeapuppy-
dog.”

“
Idon’
tknowwhoorwhatyou’
ret
alki
ngabout
.”

“Yourl
atestconquest
,whoel
se?
”Hemovedcl
oser
and

shet ookast
epback,
butthebalustradeeffect
ivel
y
blockedheri
n.“
Didhetel
lyouhisf ather’
sanEar l
?
Couldbequit
eagoodcatch,don’tyout hi
nk?”

Shecoul dsmellthealcoholonhi
sbreat
hashe
regardedherthroughhoodedeyes,andthe
real
izati
onthathemusthavedr unktoomuchmade
herfeelmoreconf i
dent.
“Why,Raji
v,sur
elyyou’r
enotj
ealous,
”she
chal
lenged,l
eani
ngbackagainstthebal
ustr
adeand
past
ingonaf akesmile.

“MaybeIam,”heacknowledgedt
ight
ly.“
OrmaybeI
don’
tli
keseei
ngmybr othermadeafoolof.
”

Mayathrewbackherheadandlaughed.“Jay
woul
dn’tmindi
ntheleast
,”shemanagedeventual
ly
andwatchedhi
seyesdarkenwithanger.

“Isee.
”Her eachedoutandtrai
ledaf i
ngerslowl
y
downherbar earm.“Isupposethishassomet hi
ng
todowi ththesocal
led‘openrelat
ionshi
p’youand
mybr otherhave.
”Helif
tedamocki ngeyebrow.“I
s
thatri
ght?”

Shefor
cedhersel
fcalmlytoretur
nhisgaze,hol
ding
backashi
veratthecasualtouchofhisf
inger.
“WhataboutyouandKi rt
i?”sheret
urned,
del
iberat
elyevadinghi
squest i
on.“
Isthatanopen
rel
ati
onshiptoo,orar
eyoupl anni
ngonbei ng
fai
thf
ulti
lldeathdoyoupar t
?”

Hishandcl osedr oundherwr i

stinavice-li
kegr i
p.
“Stopplayingstupidgames, Maya.”Shecoul df eel
theheatofhi sbodyashemovedcl oser,andshe
glancedanxi ousl
yt owar
dt heroom behindhi m, but
nobodyel seseemedt ohavenoticedtheirheated
exchange.“ Orareyoudeliberat
elytryi
ngt otorment
me? ”

“Metormentyou? ”Hervoi
cerose,andthenshe
gaspedashepr essedhimsel
fagainsther,
his
powerfult
highsleani
ngint
oher.“Raj,ar
eyoucrazy?
God,anyonecouldseeyou!”

Shecoul
df eeltheboldthrustofhi
ser ect
ion
thr
oughthelightweightt
rousersofhissuitandshe
despi
sedherselfforthespreadoflanguiddesi
re
t
hati
nvadedherbody,
all
owinghi
mtosl
anti
ntot
he
mel
ti
ngheatbetweenherl
egs.

“Touchme, ”hedemanded,ashet ookherhandin

hisanddr ewitdownhisbody,pressi
ngherpalm
againsttheheatedbul
gethatstr
ainedagainsthi
s
zipper.

Mayadrewat r
embli
ngbreat
h,herwholebody
suff
usedinheat
.Shecoul
dfeelthepul
sati
ngthrob
ofhiser
ecti
onasherhandbegantoexplor
ehis
bodyofit
sownaccord.

Raji
vshudder eduncontrol
labl
y.“God,
thatfeel
s
good,”hegroaned,hisbreathhotagai
nstherneck.
“Iwantyou—Iwantyounow.Letmecomet oyou
room lat
er,
letmepl easeyou.Youknowyouwanti t,
too.
”

Mayal
ist
enedt
ohi
swor
dswi
thami
xtur
eof
pleasur
eandpai n.Howmanywomenhadhe
whisperedthosewor dst
obef or
e?shewonder ed.I
f
onlyJay’saccusati
onswer enotsofreshi
nher
memor y,ifonl
yKirt
iwasn’tther
eintheverynext
room.

Evenasherbodycriedoutf orful
fi
lment,sheknew
shecouldnotal
lowit.Dragginghersel
fawayf r
om
him wasthemostdiff
icultt
hingshehadeverdone.
Itt
oreherapar
t.Shealmostr anbackintothe
warmthofhisarmsasherbodycr iedoutforhi
s.

“No,
Raji
v,”shebr
eat
hedraggedl
y,herchestr
isi
ng
andfal
li
ngasshefoughtf
orcont
rol.“
Iwon’tall
ow
youtouseme.”

Hewasbreathinghar d,apulsebeatingathisjaw
l
ine.“
Don’
ttalkrubbish,”hegrated,butt
oninguphis
j
acketwi
thtremblingf i
ngers.“
Youwantmeas
muchasIwantyou.Nobody’ susi nganyone.”
“
AndwhataboutKi
rti?Don’
tyoucar
eabouther
f
eel
ings?
”shechal
lenged.
.

Hismout
htwistedsardoni
call
y.“
Icoul
daskyout
he
sameaboutJay,”hecount
eredswif
tl
y.

“
That
’sdi
ff
erent
.”

“Howisi
tdi
ff
erent
?Tel
lmepl
ease.I
’
dlovet
o
know.
”

“Sother
eyouare,pri
ncess!”I
twasJay, concer
n
evi
dentinhi
seyes,andshesmi ledreassuri
ngl
y
backathim.“
Areyougoi ngtojoinmef oracof
fee
l
iqueur?
”

Mayanodded,
walki
ngshaki
lytowardhi
m.“I’
dlove
t
o.Thankyou,
Jay,
”sherepl
ied,t
aki
nghishand.
Jayturnedtohi
sbrot
her.“
Oh,Raji
v,It
hinkKirt
i’
s
beenlooki
ngforyou,
”heremarkedwit
hacol dlook
andthenguidedMayaswift
lybackint
otheroom.

*
**

Raji
vf inishedof fhissecondcupofcof feeand
checkedhi swat chonceagai n.Itwasni ne-fi
fteenin
themor ningandhewaspayi ngf orhisover -
i
ndul gencet henightbefore.Itwouldn’thavebeen
sobadi fhe’ dbeenabl etosleepof ft
heef fectsof
thealcohol .Butbythet i
mehe’ dmadei ttobed,
havingf oughtof fKirti
’
sclumsyover tures, he’dfelt
wideawake.Thenhespentar est
lessni ght ,
tossing
andt urning, tor
ment edwiththought sofMayaand
howexqui sit
ehersof t
,pli
antbodyhadf eltagainst
his.

NanaBi
bihadi
nfor
medhi
m wi
thaknowi
ngt
winkl
e
i
nhereyet hatMayausual lycamedownar ound
ni
neo’ clockf orbreakfast,andsoher ehewas,
hangingar oundl ikesomeeageradol escentwi t
ha
hardon, whi l
eshewaspr obabl yenjoyi
ngaSunday
mor ni
ngl i
ei n.Hest oodupandwentt ostarewi th
broodingi ntensi t
youtt hel ongwi ndows.Theday
wasover castandsl i
ght l
ycool ,notthathecar ed
onewayort heother.Heshovedhi shandsi ntothe
backpocket sofhi sj
eans, hismout ht i
ghteninginto
athinline.Gonewer et hecar efr
eedayswhenal lhe
hadt owor ryaboutwast heweat herandt he
prospectofr ainspoi l
inghi splanstospendt heday
outdoors:r idinghi smot orbike,pl
ayingtennis,
swimmi ngi nt hepoolori nt helake.

Itseemedt hemanhewasbef oremeet i

ngMaya
hadl ivedar at
hershall
owexistence,i
ncapableof
extremehi ghsandl ows.Butnowt hat’
sallhi
sli
fe
seemedt obeabout :t
hethri
llofbeingaroundher
and, especiall
y,t
ouchingherandthegutwr enching
painofseei ngherhappilyi
nvolvedwi t
hhisbrother
.
“Oh.Goodmor ni
ng.”I
twasher .
Hisj
erkedround,hi
swhol ebodyti
ght
eningwit
h
exci
tement
.“Hi.
”Het ri
edtosoundcasual,
asifi
t
wasonlybychancet hathe’
dencount
eredherher
e,
whil
ehiseyesmovedhungr il
ydownherbody.

Shewaswear i
ngali
laccolor
edcar di
ganand,
al
thoughbut t
onedal
mostt othetop,hecouldhave
swornthatsheworenothingunderneathi
t.Made
fr
om soft,
fluf
fywool
, i
thuggedlovingl
yather
point
edbreastsandhequicklyveil
edhiseyes,
conceal
ingthenakeddesiret
hatheknewwoul dbe
vi
sibl
einthem.

Herhairwashanginglongandloosedownherback,
exceptfortwosli
m pl
ait
satthefront
,fr
ami
ngthe
softsensualbeaut
yofherface.

“
Goodmor
ning,
MissMaya.
”
NanaBibif
oll
owedherint
otheroom carr
yingat r
ay,
andhewatchedwit
hinter
esttheeasyfamili
ari
ty
evi
dentbet
weenthem,knowinghismotherwould
notappr
ove.

Thehousekeepergavehim acovertsmi
le.“
I’
ve
madeupal argepotofcoff
eeforthetwoofyou.”

“ThankyouNanaBi bi
,”heresponded,t
urni
ngaway
from thewindow.“Didyousleepwell?
”Itwasa
l
oadedquest ion.Heaskedittounsett
leher—andt
o
punishherforthediscomforthehadendured
throughoutthenight.

“Verywell
,thankyou,”sheanswer
edcooll
y,hel
ping
hersel
ftoasl i
ceoftoast.“
Howaboutyou?”

“Fine.
”Heshr uggeddi
smissivel
y.“Inot
icedyou
disappearedquit
eearl
ylastnight
.Wast hepart
ynot
toyourliki
ng?”
Hermout hti
ghtenedsli
ghtl
y,butherexpr
essi
on
remainedcomposed.“Thepar t
ywasf i
ne.I
’mjust
notusedtolatenight
s,that
’sal
l.
”

Raj i
vwat chedherwi thbroodingeyes.Shewasnot
af ussyeat er.Hehadr eali
zedthatfrom theirfi
rst
mealt ogetheratt hehousei nKnightsbri
dge, and
therewasacer t
ainpleasureinwatchingherenj oy
herf ood.Hewonder edifsheenjoyedsexi nt he
sameway, ifsheabandonedher selftoitwithout
anyi nhibi
ti
ons, savori
ngeachsensat i
on,unaf r
aidto
tryanythingnew.Damn, hesworesi l
entlytohimself.
Whydi ditalwayscomedownt osexwi thher ?

“I
’m dri
vingovertothevi
ll
agethi
smorni
ng,”hesai
d
wit
hani ndif
ferencehewasfarfr
om f
eel
ing.“Woul
d
youliketocomewi thme?”

Hereyeswi
denedandt
hennar
rowedi
ntoaf
rown.
“Idon’tt
hinkso.
”Shepausedf oramoment
.“I
sKirt
i
going?”sheasked,andhebitbackahar
shret
ortat
thestupidi
tyofherquest
ion.

“No.Kirti’sprobablyst
il
linbed.Idon’ tthi
nkshe’
ll
beupf orhour s.
”Shewasgoi ngtor ef
use.Hecould
tel
lbyt hewayshecar efull
ymoi stenedherupperli
p,
l
ikesheal waysdi dwhenf eeli
ngil
latease.He
movedt owar dthetabl
e,grippingthebackofoneof
thechai rs.“ForGod’ssake, Maya,it
’sjustadri
veto
thevi
llage, ”hegroundout, l
osingpat i
ence.“
I
promiset obehavemysel f
, okay.I
st hatwhatyou
wanttohear ?”

Hecouldseetheuncertai
ntyinthosebri
ght
emeral
deyes,buthisgazedidn’
twaverand
event
ual
lysheagreedwi t
har el
uctantnodofher
head.

“Al
lri
ght.I
’
llcome,
butjustf
orashor
twhi
le.We’
l
l
havetobebackbefor
eJaywakesup.”
“Fine.
”Henoddedi nagreement,st
raighteningup
from thetabl
e,car
eful
lymaskingthesat i
sfacti
onhe
wasf eeli
ngattheprospectofamor ningalonewith
her.“Shallwemeetinthehalli
n,say,halfanhour?”

Raji
vlef
tther oom qui
ckl
y,bef
oreshecoul
dchange
hermind,t
ryingtosubduetheridi
cul
oussenseof
exci
tementthatcoursedthr
oughhisbody.
Chapt
er16

Thirt
y-f
ivemi nuteslatertheydroveawayf rom
CranthorpeandRaj i
vexpel l
edaqui etsi
ghofr el
ief
.
Theyhadmanagedt ogetawaywi t
hout
encounteringanyonebesi desNanaBi bi
,whowas
sharpenought orelayonlywhatwasnecessar yto
whoevermi ghtnoti
cet heirabsence.Hefeltasense
ofcarefreeinsoucianceashedr ovealongthe
narrowcount ryroadwi thMayasi tt
ingquietl
yathis
side.Justfornow, hewoul dall
owhi msel
ftoenjoy
themomentandf orgetwhoshewas, whohewas,
andt
hei
mpossi
bil
it
yoft
hei
rsi
tuat
ion.

SteepleWickwasasmal l mar kettownand,wi thi

t
beingaSundaymor ning, therewer esmallgroups
ofpeoplecomi ngoutoft heol dchurch,whichwas
sit
uatedclosetothemai nsquar e.Heparkedt he
carandt heywalkedt hrought hesquar ewher ea
weeklycraftsandant iquesmar ketwasbeinghel d.
Heof t
endr ovetothevi l
lageonaSundaymor ni
ng,
alwaysonhi sown, andenj oyedbr owsi
ngthr ough
themar ket,
sometimespur chasingtheoddt oolor
oldcountrybri
c-a-
br acthatcaughthi seye.

“
Thisisl
ovel
y,
”Mayaenthused.“
Whataper
fect
waytospendaSundaymorning.
”

Raj
ivsmi l
ed,pl
easedwit
hherr eact
ion.Shewasso
di
ff
erenttothewomenheusual l
yassociat
edwit
h
whowoul dn’
tbeseendeadinasecond- hand
market
.Hewat chedherchatt
ingawayt ooneofthe
st
all
holderswit
hthatunaf
fectedcharm ofher
sthat
hadt heoldmaneat ingoutofherhandi nnot i
me.
Rajivall
owedhi msel fthepl easureofobser vi
ngher
asshemovedal ongt her owsofst alls.Shewas
wear i
ngaf lor
alskirtthatendedj ustbel owher
knees,andhi slazygazer oamedf reelyalongt he
supplelinesofherl ongl egsupt other ounded
curveofherbut t
ocks.I twasi ncredible,theeffect
thatshehadonhi m.Hercl otheswer enot
parti
cularl
ypr ovocativeandyet ,j
ustlooki ngather,
causedhi mt obecomear oused.Hecoul dnot
remember ,
evenasat eenager ,
anygi rlexciti
nghim
thewayshedi d.

Event uall
yhemanagedt odr agheraway,butnot
beforeshe’ dpur
chaseda1930scakest andforhi
s
mot herandasi l
ver
platedpicturef
rameforNana
Bibi
.Theskywasbegi nningt odar
kenandhe
suggest edtheypopint
ot helocalpubbefor
e
maki ngt hei
rwayhome.

TheGr
aft
on,
asi
twascal
led,
wasf
il
ledwi
thpeopl
e
enjoyi
ngapr e-
lunchdri
nkandRaj ivwavedt oafew
famili
arfacesbutdidn’
tst
opt ochat.Hewasnot
preparedtoshareMayawi t
hanyoneel se,notwhen
histi
meal onewithherwassopr ecious,l
eadingher
determinedl
ytowardaquieterpartoftheroom.

“Cof
feeorsomet
hingstr
onger?
”heasked,
aft
er
seat
ingheratat
inytabl
efort
wo.

Shel
ookedt
owar
dthebar
,bit
ingi
ntoherbot
tom l
ip.
“Um,
whatar
eyouhavi
ng?”

“
Justahal
flager
,Ithi
nk,
”hesai
d,l
if
ti
nghi
sbr
ows.
“
Wouldyouli
ketojoinme?”

Sheagreedandhef oughthi
swayt hrought
ot he
fr
ontofthebar,i
mpatientt
ogetbackt oher
,
becomingawareofagr oupofyoungmenst anding
atthebar,
thei
rkeeneyesfocusi
ngi nonher.
“Cheers.”Herai
sedhisgl
asstoheronhisretur
n
anddr ankthi
rst
il
y,enj
oyi
ngthebit
tert
asteofthe
chil
ledlagerwhil
etryi
ngnott
ostareatherl
icki
ng
thefoam offherl
ips.

“Sohowdot hinkJay’
smeet i
ngwiththecounsell
or
went?”heaskedeventual
ly.I
twassomet hinghe’
d
beenmeaningt ot
alktoheraboutsincehisret
urnto
Crant
horpe.

Shesethergl assdown, herlonglashesvei l

ingher
eyes.“Heseemedpl easedwiththesessi on, Ithink,
”
shemused, finall
ymeet i
nghisgaze.“ Hewasn’ tat
allkeent obeginwi t
h,butafterward—wel l,hewas
quiteexcited.”Shepausedandhewai t
edsi l
ent ly,
sure,thatshewasbei ngcarefulchoosi ngher
wor ds.“Ithi
nkt hetherapycouldber eallyhel pful,
givinghimt imet oexplorewhathe’sf eeli
ng, what
hewant sf orthefuture.Didhesayanyt hingt oyour
mot heroryouabouti t?”
Heshookhishead.“Notmuch.That
’swhyIt
hought
I
’dgetyouropi
nion.
”

Herexpressi
onbecameguardedandRajivf
eltt
hat
senseofsuspici
onhe’dhadaboutheri
nLondon.
Whatwasshet r
yingt
ohide?

“
Heseemsbet
tert
hough,
don’
tyout
hink?
”

Hedraggedhi
smi ndbacktowhatshewassayi
ng.
“Yes,
muchbett
er.Andit’
sallt
hankst
oyou,Maya.
”

Shetr
iedtodi
sagreebuthecouldtel
lshewas
pl
easedwithhi
sresponse.“It
hinki
t’
llbegoodf
or
hi
mt oopenupabi tmore.
”

Hef
rowned.“
Youmeanwi
tht
hecounsel
lor
?”
“Wi
thever
yone—and-
andt
hecounsel
lor
,”sheadded
qui
ckl
y.

Raj
ivwatchedher
.Shewasnotsayi
ngwhatshe
meant
.“Whatdoesheneedt
oopenupabout,
Maya?”

Af ai
ntti
ngeofcolorf
lushedhercheeks,butshe
managedt omeethisgaze.“Ijustmeanthatit
’s
probabl
ygoodforhimt otalkabout…t
hings,
”she
fi
nishedlamel
y,andhebi tbackasoundof
fr
ustrat
ion.

“
Tal
ktowho?Me,
mymot
her
?Who?
”

“B—bothofyou, Isuppose.
”Sheloopedoneofthe
plai
tsbehindherearinanervousgestur
e.“Pl
ease,
Raji
v,don’tl
et’
sargue.It
’sbeensuchalovel
y
morninglet’
snotspoilit
.”
Heblewoutaf r
ustratedbr eat
h,suppressingthe
urgetoreachoverandshakeher .“
You’reright
.
Forgeti
t.
”Hedr ainedt helagerandreachedi ntot
he
pocketofhisjacket,pull
ingoutasl i
m velvetbox
andlayi
ngi tonthetabl ein

fr
ontofher
.Shel
eanedbackwardalmostasif
afr
aidt
otouchi
tandhelaughedatherexpr
ession.
“I
t’
snotgoi
ngtobi
teyou.Goon.Openit.
”

Final
ly,
shereachedouttentat
ivel
yandopenedit
.
“Butwhen—howdi dyouknow? ”Shestar
edatthe
sil
verandamethystchockerinamazement.

“
Isawyouadmi r
ingitandwentbackt ot
hest al
l
whenyouweren’
tlooking,”heexplai
ned,enj
oying
t
helookofpl
easureandsur pr
iseonherexpressi
ve
f
ace.“Comeonthen,tr
yi ton.Let’
sseeifitf
it
syou.”

Hel
if
tedi
toutoft
hebox.I
twasqui
teol
d,pr
obabl
y
1920s,anddeli
cat
e,thepurpl
est
onessparkl
ing,
al
mostt hesamecolorasthecar
diganshewas
weari
ng.Hepasseditovertoher
.

“Idon’
tknow.
”Shehesi
tat
ed.“
Raj
iv,
youshoul
dn’
t
have.”

“
Why?
”

“
Itwasmucht
ooexpensi
ve.
”

Hethrewbackhisheadandl
aughed.“
Expensi
ve!
Oh,Maya,someti
mesyouseem sonaï
ve,soful
lof
cont
radi
cti
ons.
”

Foramoment ,sheseemedunsur ehowtoreact

,but
asheconti
nuedgr i
nningather ,
shegaveinand
smil
edbackathi m.Ar ealsmil
e,theki
ndofsmile
hefel
tri
ghtthr
ought ohi sgr
oin.Theatmospher
e
becamechargedandi nti
mate,unt
ilfi
nall
yshe
droppedhergazelookingdownatt hechocker
,her
l
ong, sl
imfi
ngerscaressingt
heglowingstones.

“Doyouwantt otryiton?Thest all

-holdersayshe
canadj ustitifitdoesn’tfi
t.
”Shehesi tat
ed,asifsti
ll
uncertainaboutaccept i
ngit.Coul ditbeanact ?All
thewomenhegavegi f t
stowoul dturntheirnoses
upatsi l
ver.Ithadt obegol dorpl atinum forthem.
Asf orsemi -
pr eci
ousst ones,theysi mplydidn’t
featureinawoman’ sjewell
erycol l
ection.“Needany
help?”Hef orcedhi msel ft
oignor ethegr owing
i
rrit
ati
onhef eltatheruncer t
aintyaboutaccept i
ng
thegift.

Finall
y,sheli
ft
edt
hechockertoherneckand,
aft
er
amoment ,f
oundt
heclaspathernapeand
fastenedit
.

“I
tfi
tsyouper
fect
ly,
”hesai
dwithpleasur
e,
admiri
ngthewaythespar
kli
ngstones
compli
mentedherunti
mel
ybeaut
y.“
Allyouneed
nowisamedievalgownandyou’
l
lmaketheperf
ect
pri
ncess.
”

Shelaughedathi sfl
owerycompl i
ment ,f
ingeri
ng
theornat
esilverworkwithobvi
ouspl easure.“
Thank
you,i
t’
sbeaut i
ful,
”shesaidsof
tly,heremer al
deyes
warm andglowi nginthedimli
ght.

Her eachedoutt otuggentlyatoneofherpl ait

s,
resisti
ngt heurgetopul lhermout ht ohis.He
wishedt imecoul dstandst i
ll
,thathecoul dspend
ther estofthedaywi t
hher ,
li
steningt oherbeautif
ul
voicewi ththatsoftaccentthatsentpr icklesdown
hisspi ne.Gett
ingtoknowher ,whati twast hat
madehersospeci al.Shewasst i
llsuchaneni gma
tohi m.Butt i
mewasr unningoutandi ftheydidn’
t
l
eavesoon, theirabsencewoul dbenot i
ced.Hewas
noti nthemoodt ohavet oexplainhimsel ftohis
mot her,orKirt
i,orespeciall
ySanj ay.
Itwasr ai
ningqui teheavi l
yast heyl ef
tthepuband,
alt
houghheof f
eredt obr i
ngthecarover ,she
i
nsist edonr unningwi thhimt hrought hesummer
downpour .Theyr eachedt hecar, l
aughingandout
ofbr eath.Thr owinghi sjacketintotheback, Raj
iv
tri
edt oquel ltheloomi ngsenseofempt inessatthe
thoughtofr eturningt oCranthorpewher et hey’
dbe
surroundedbypeopl e,wherehe’ dhavet ohandher
backt oSanj ay.

Helovedhi
sbr other
,butseeingthem toget
herwas
makinghi
mf eelmeanandr esentf
ul—andguil
ty,
gui
lt
yforwantingtheonet hingthatwasbri
nging
Sanj
ayoutofhi sdepressi
on.

Shelaughed,runni
ngherf
ingerst
hroughherdamp
hai
r.“Well
,thatwasqui
ter
efreshi
ng.”

Hedr aggedhi
seyesawayfrom her
,tostar
tthe
engine.Int
hequi
etint
imacyofthecar,
thedesir
eto
touchherwasbeginni
ngtooverwhel
m him.
Hi
sbodyfel
tover
-heat
edandhegr i
ppedthe
st
eer
ingwheelwi
thunnecessar
yforce.

“Gosh,i
sthatt
hetimealready?”Shest
aredatt
he
clockonthedashboard,
herfacebecomingser
ious.
“Jaywil
lbewonderingwhereIam. ”

“Hecanmanagef
oraf
ewhour
swi
thoutyou,
can’
t
he?”

Hisvoicesoundedharsh,andhet hrustthecar
i
mpat i
entl
yintogear,movingoffthroughtherai
n
withunnecessar
yspeed.Ther ewasal onguneasy
si
lenceandhecur sedhimselfforspoil
ingthewarm,
eff
ortl
essatmospherethathadbeengr owing
betweenthem.

“Look,I
’
m sorr
y,Maya.Ishoul
dn’thavesai
dthat.
”
Forcedtokeepaneyeont hewetroadahead,he
couldn’tseeherexpression.“
It
’sj
ustthat
…Idon’
t
know.”Hedr aggedhisfi
ngersthr
oughhisdamp
hair
,tryingtofindtheri
ghtwords.“Someti
mesyou
bri
ngoutt heworstinme. ”

“
Well,
itwon’
tbeforl
ong.”Hervoicewasal
most
i
naudi
blethr
oughthepouri
ngrain.

Heslowedthevehicl
edownandgl ancedather
caut
iousl
y.“
What’sthatsupposedtomean?”

“I
tmeansthatpret
tysoonI’
llbeoutofyourhai
r,
”
shesai
dti
ghtly,
stari
ngstr
aightahead.

“When?
”heaskedbl
untl
y,asi
nki
ngf
eel
ing
begi
nni
ngl
owi nhi
sstomach.

Hereyessl
idoverhi
m andt
henaway.“
Tuesday,
”
“What?”Hebr akedsuddenly,causi
ngthecartoskid
dangerouslyont hewetroad.Shegasped,grabbi
ng
ti
ghtl
yont oherseatbel
t.Hepul l
edont
oagr assy
vergeatthesideoftheroad.“Thedayafter
tomorrow?”

Heki
ll
edt
heengi
ne,
undi
dhi
sseat
bel
t,andt
urned
t
ostar
eather
.

Shewasl ooki
ngst r
aightaheadandhesawher
thr
oatclenchassheswal lowed.“
Yes.I
’
vebooked
thetr
ainfrom LondononTuesdayevening.
”

“Andwhent hehel
lwereyouplanni
ngontelli
ng
me? ”hedemanded, hi
seyesdarkandaccusingas
hewat chedherfacefl
ushwithguil
t.“
Youwer en’
t
goingtot el
lme,wereyou?”Hesqueezedhiseyes
shut,t
ryingtocontr
oltheburni
ngangerri
singup
i
nsideofhi m.
“That
’snott
rue.Iwoul
dhavet
oldyouat
—atsome
point
.”

Hestaredatheri
ndisbeli
ef,angr
ynotonlywi
thher,
butwit
hhimselfforf
eeli
ngsodesperateatt
heidea
ofherl
eaving.Wasn’
tthatwhathewanted?What
he’
ddecidedwouldbebest ?

Hi
sleanmouthtwist
edi nt
oati
ght
,pai
nfulsmi
le.
Well
,nowhewasget t
ingwhathewant
ed—and
pr
obablywhathedeserved.

Somethi
ngofwhathewasf eeli
ngmusthave
shownonhisface,
forshereachedoutandtouched
hisl
eg.“
It
’sf
orthebest,Raj
iv,
”shemurmured.

Buthewasn’tl
isteni
ng.Theheatofherhandjust
abovehi
skneewasat antal
izi
ngtor
ment,sending
ti
nyshockwavesuphi slegt
owardhiscrot
chand
fl
oodi
nghim withdesir
e.Theperf
umeshewor e,
toget
herwit
hhersof twomanl
yscent,i
nvadedhi
s
nostr
il
s,andheleanedtowar
dher,cover
ingher
handwithhis.

Hereyeswi
dened.“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
”

Bendinghi
shead,hebr eathedi
nthesubtl
ejasmine
fr
agranceofhersi
lkyhair.“Whatdoesi
tfeell
ike?
”
hecounter
edhuskily.

“
Raj
iv,
youpr
omi
sed—”

Heclosedhisotherhandroundt henapeofher
neck.“Tobehavemyself
.Iknow, butt
hatwas
befor
eyout ol
dmeyouwer eleaving.”

Andbef or
eshehadachancetorepl
y,he’d
uncli
ppedherseat
bel
tandpull
edhertowardhim,
coveri
nghermouthwit
hhis,
tryi
ngtoforceherl
ips,
toopent oacceptt heheat edinvasionofhi stongue.
Shet ri
ednott orespond—hehadt ogi veher
that—keepi ngherl i
pst ogetherandpushi ngagainst
hischest ,
butf inall
ysher elented.Hermout h
softened,allowingt hehot ,wetinvasionofhi s
tonguet osl i
debet weenherl ips.Hepr essedher
backagai nstt heseat ,pl
under i
nghermout hwi t
h
deepur gentki ssest hatshereturnedwi thdelici
ous
sweet ness, hertongueent winingwi t
hhi s.Hisblood
thi
ckenedandpul sedwi thanur gencyt hatwas
gett
ingst rongerbyt hesecond.

“God!”Hedr
aggedai
rint
ohi
sst
arvinglungsand
heardhermoansof
tl
yincommi
serati
on.

Herhandswer ecli
ngingtohim now, cr
eeping
i
nsidethecoll
arofhisshirt
,ar
oundt hebackofhi s
neck,desi
respiki
ngdownhi sspine.Hishand
dippedtothesoftwoolofhercardigan,tr
acingthe
shapeofherbreast,f
eeli
ngherar chinst
incti
vely
againsthi
m.Hef oundthehardf l
eshofherni ppl
e,
circli
ngitwi
thhisf i
nger,hi
smout hlongingtot
aste
her .Wit
hhandsthatshook, heforcedhimselft
o
slowlyunbuttonthecardigan,contr
oll
ingtheurget
o
teartheclot
hesof fher,andexposehernaked
breaststohishungr yeyes.

“Iknewyouhadnot hingonunder neath,”he

breathedunevenly,runni
ngsof t
,wetki ssesdown
from herneckovert hechokeruntilthetipofhis
tonguef oundandcapt uredhernippleinhi smouth.
Hesuckedhar d,r
ubbinghi st
ongueagai nsther
erectnipple.Herfi
ngernail
sdugint ohim, gaspi
ng
wi t
heachpul lofhi
smout h.

Shewassqui r
mi ngi nthecarseat,fi
nger sraki
ng
throughhishair,pulli
nghimf ur
tivelyagainsther
pointedbreast,pleasinghiminfi
nitelytoknowt hat
shewasascl oset olosingcontr
olashewas.The
factthattheywer einacaronapubl i
croadhar dl
y
register
edinhislanguor ousmind, exceptinthe
i
nst ancethati
tpr eventedhimfrom pr essinghis
achinger
ecti
onagai
nstherpl
iantf
lesh.Hewant
ed
tolosehi
mselfi
nsi
deher,t
ofeelherti
ghtmuscl
es
closi
ngaroundhi
m.God,howhewant edher!

Hishandsl iddownoverherf l
atstomachtocaress
thesmoot hskinattheedgeofherski r
t.Heheard
hermoanouthi snamebef oredraggi
nghismout h
backt ohers.Shemusthavesensedwhathewas
aboutt odo,forther
ewasaki ndofdesperati
onin
herkiss.Heusedhi slipsandhistonguetoeasethe
tensi
onf rom her,ni
bbli
ngsoftl
yatherlowerli
pand
sucki
nggent l
yathertongueuntilshewaslost,
onceagai n,i
nt hesensati
onsofherbody.

Allthewhile,hi
shandmovedi nsi stentl
ybeneath
thehem ofherski rt,asati
sfiedsi ghescapinghi m
ashedi scoveredt hewar m baref leshofherthigh.
Herkneespar t
edwi ll
ingl
yandhecar essedthe
i
nsideofhersof tsil
kyskin,forcinghi msel
ftotakeit
slowly,
thoughever ynerveinhi sbodywas
screamingf orfulf
ilment.Herheady, warm scent
wasdr i
vinghim mad.Hepushedhishandhigher
al
lowinghisthumbt obrushagai
nstherpant
ies,
groani
ngwi t
hpleasureatthehotmoist
nessthat
hadseepedt hr
ought hethi
nfabr
ic.

“Oh,baby,youfeell
ikeheaven.
”Hewashar dly
awarethathehadspokenoutl oud,hi
sfinger
s
becomingbolder,movingintoexpl
oretheverycor
e
ofher.

Shejumped,herbott
om li
ft
ingof
ftheseatandthen,
j
ustassuddenly,shecl
osedherlegs,
trappi
nghis
handti
ghtl
yinbetween.

“No.”Shest ar
eddazedlyaroundher ,
hercopper
hairdeli
ciousl
ytousledandhercar di
ganpushed
asidetoexposet hosebeauti
ful
,poutingbr
easts.
“Thisiscrazy!
”Shepushedhi strappedhand
roughlyaside,f
orcingherski
rtoverherkneesand
buttoni
nguphercar di
ganwithshakingfi
ngers.
“Takei teasy.
”Breat
hingli
kehe’djustruna
mar athon,Raji
vdraggedhimselfbackf r
om the
edgeofi nsanit
y.“Nothi
nghappened, okay?”He
reachedoutt otouchherglor
ioustumbl edhair
,
desirestil
lragi
ngthroughhim,butshedr ewaway
withal ookofpanicinherwideeyes.

“
Please,
don’
ttouchme!
”

Hervoicebroke, andRaji
vf el
tfr
ustrati
onspiking
thr
oughhim.“ Aren’tyouover-r
eacti
ngj ustali
ttl
e?”
hegrated,sti
lltryingtocatchhisbreath.“Aft
erall
,
youwer epracticallybeggi
ngf ori
taf ewseconds
ago.”

Herfacepaledvisi
blyandimmediat
elyheregret
ted
hi
scut t
ingwords.Buthetoldhi
mselfhewas
j
usti
fiedinsayi
ngthem.ForGod’ssake,shehad
beenwithhim eachstepofthewayunti
lshe’d
suddenl
ycomet ohersenses.Her ubbedtheaching
musclesatthebackofhi
sneck, tr
yingtoignor
ethe
moreinsi
stentt
hrobofhiserect
ion,hisbodysti
ll
cl
amour i
ngforful
fi
lment
.

Thedr i
vebackt oCranthor
pewascompl etedin
stonysil
enceand, al
thoughheknewhehadnor i
ght
,
Rajivst
il
lf el
tcheat
edandl etdownbyher .Notonly
forrej
ectinghim sooff
ensivel
y,butforherplansto
l
eavewi thouttel
li
nghim.Herdepar tur
eshoul d
comeasabl essedreli
efbut,i
nstead,i
twast eari
ng
him apart.
Chapt
er17

Rajivwentbackt oLondonl atert hatsamedayand

Mayat ri
edtotellhersel
fitwasf orthebest .The
reali
zati
onthatshewoul dnotbeseei nghi m agai
n
wast aki
ngitstoll
.Allshewant ednowwast ogo
homet oEdinburghandt ryherbestt oforgetabout
him andtheemot ionalroll
ercoast ershe’dbeenon
sincemeeti
nghi m.Thei rreturnjour neyfrom
SteepleWi cktoCr anthorpehadl eftherfeeli
ng
drai
nedandexhaust ed.Oncebacki nthesafetyof
herbedr oom, shehadcl i
mbedi ntoahotbat hand
al
lowedt hetearstoflow, berat
ingherselffor
al
lowi nghi mtogetunderherski n.AfterwhatJay
hadt oldher,sheshoul dhaveknownbet t
erthanto
spendt hemor ni
ngal onewi thhim.Butwhenhe’ d
askedher —nopleadedwi thher—toaccompanyhi m,
she’dgiveni ntothecr azyimpulseandagr eed.She
hadwant edtogowi t
hhi m.Ther ewasnodenyi ngit.
Andt obegi nwi t
h,theout i
nghadgonewel l
,notj
ust
well,i
thadbeenqui tespeci al
.

Shehadenj oyedeverymomentoft heirtime

together,unti
lshe’
dt oldhim ofherpl anst oleave.
Hisreactionhadsur prisedher .Shecoul dhave
swornt hatshe’dseenr eal desperati
oni nhiseyes.
Thatwaswhyshe’ dr eachedoutandt ouchedhi m,
j
usttocomf orthi
mr eal l
y,butwhathadr esulted
hadhadl itt
letodowi thcomf ort
.Onceagai n,hehad
managedt oseduceheral mostt othepoi ntofno
retur
n.God, justt
hinkingabouti tleftherweakand
shaky,atinypul
sethrobbi
nginsi
stent
lybet
ween
herlegs.ThankGod,shehadcomet ohersenses.
Andwhati fshehadn’t
?Woul dhehavemadeloveto
herthereinthecaronthesideoft
heroad?

Mayat r
iedtofeeloutragedatt hethought,butal
l
sher eall
yfel
twasasenseofl ossandaver y
physicalneedt hatcutrightthroughher.Herbody
fel
tlanguid,yetrestl
ess, aheavinessinvadingher
l
imbsandmaki ngitdiff
iculttodoanything,whil
e
str
uggl i
ngtobehavenor mal l
yunderJay’seagleeye.

Aknockont hedoorheraldedherfri
end,atr
aceof
concernshadowingi
nhi spercepti
vegaze.“
How’s
thepacki
nggoing?”heasked, si
tt
ingontheedgeof
thebedbesideheropensui t
case.

“
Ithi
nkI’
m getti
ngthere,
”sheanswered,caref
ull
y
f
oldi
ngtheli
ttl
eblackdressandresi
sti
ngt he
i
mpulsetopressittoherface.
“
Areyoufeel
ingokay,Maya?
”Jayasked,
andshe
f
orcedher
sel
ftoretur
nhisgaze.

“
Yes,
ofcour
se.Whydoyouask?
”

Fort
unately,hehadnotlear
nedofheroutingwith
Raji
vthedaybef ore.I
nfact
,shedidnotthink
anyone,besidesNanaBibi,
knewthatthey’dgone
outtoget
her .AndshehopedthatJayhadn’t
somehowf oundoutabouti
tnow.

Hesighed,hi
sshoulder
sslumpi ngf orwardandhis
l
onghairalmostcoveri
nghisf ace.“Idunno.You
j
ustseem sortofqui
etlat
ely.You’renotupset
becauseofwhatIsaidaboutRaj i
v,areyou?”

Mayawasgenuinel
ysurpri
sed.“Ofcour
senot
.You
wer
eonlybeinghonestandconcernedf
orme.
Weren’
tyou?
”
Henodded.“Yeah,butmaybeyoudidn’twantt
o
heari
t.Someti
mesi t
’seasi
ernotknowingthet
rut
h,
i
sn’ti
t?”Hel
ookedupather ,andMayaknewhe
wasnotonlytal
kingabouthersit
uat
ion.

Shesatdownont hebedbesidehim.“ Jay,i

nthe
l
ongr un,
it’
salwaysbett
ertoknowt hetrut
h.I
personal
lywouldneverwanttoli
veinast at
eof
denial
.Never,
”sheendedemphat i
call
yandheput
hi
sar msaroundher,squeezi
nghert i
ghtl
y.

“I
’m goingtomissyou.
”Hi
svoi
cewasmuf
fl
ed
againstherhai
r.

“
Metoo,”shechoked,
hol
dingont
ight
lyt
ohi
sthi
n
f
rame.

*
**
Thef ol
lowingmor ning, thedayofherdepar t
ure,
Mayaf elti
nsli
ght lybet t
erspirits.Jayandshehad
beent oasmal lhotelnear byforagoodbyedi nner
thenightbefor
e.I thadbeenni cetospendt he
eveningoutalonet oget her.Kirtihadlef
tear l
iert
hat
sameday, seemi nggenui nel
ysadt osaygoodbye
toMaya, whohadcomet oli
keherdespi t
ethe
diff
erencesintheirper sonalit
iesandl if
estyles.
Althoughtheyhadi nvit
edAnnat ojoi
nt hem for
dinner,i
thadbeenar eli
efwhenshe’ ddecl i
ned.

NowMaya’ ssui t
casewaspackedandshehadonl y
tochangei ntotheflaredj eansandt urquoiseT-shi
rt
thatshe’dlefthangingi nthehugewar drobe.She
cli
mbedoutoft heshowerandt owelledher sel
fdry
withaf eeli
ngofnost algia.Thiswasherl astshower
hereandsher eali
zedt hatshehadt rulyenjoyed
stayi
ngi nthishouse.Besi desitsobvi ousluxury
andcomf ort
,therewasat her
apeut i
cqual it
yabout
Cranthorpethatshewoul ddefinitel
ymi ss.Sher an
herfingersaffecti
onatelyal ongt hepol i
shedwood
oft
hedressi
ngtablebefor
ereachi
ngfort
het
err
y-
cl
othbat
hrobeatthefootoft
hebed.

Aknockatthedoordi
stur
bedhermel
anchol
ic
t
houghts.

“
Comein,”shecal
led,
presumingi
twasJayand
t
urnedt
of acehi
m wit
hawel comi
ngsmil
e.

“
Hi.
”

ItwasnotJay,butRaji
v,whoenter
edt
her
oom,
closi
ngthedoorsoft
lybehindhi
m.

Maya’sjawsagged,andshewonderedifher
desperatemindhadconjur
edupthist
all
,eni
gmat
ic
fi
gureleani
ngindol
entl
yagainstt
hedoor.
I
naplai
nbl ackT-shi
rtandf
adedLevishi
s
mascul
ini
tyhitherli
keaphysi
calbl
ow.

Thefactt
hatshehadnotexpect
edtoseehi
m agai
n
madehispresenceevenmoreel
ect
ri
fyi
ngtoher
soar
ingsenses.

“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?”I
tcameouti
nawhi
sper
.

“I’
m dr
ivi
ngyoubackt oLondon,”heannounced,hi
s
eyesfl
icker
ingdownt othegapi
ngcleavageofher
robe.“
Youdi dn’
tthi
nkI’
dletyougowithoutsayi
ng
goodbye,di
dyou? ”

Mayapul
ledt
hel
apel
sofherr
obet
oget
her
.“But
t
here’
s

noneed.I
’
vealr
eadybookedaseatont
hecoach
backt
oLondon.”
Hegaveanunconcernedshrug,hi
sgazewarm and
l
azyonherfl
ushedface.“Toobad,I’
vedr
ivenal
lthe
wayoverher
eandI’m dr
ivingyouback.
”

Shecont i
nuedt ostareathim, hi
scasualatti
tude
l
eavi ngherspeechless.Hishairwasbl ackinthe
mor ningli
ght,hi
sdar kskinshiningl
ikepoli
shed
bronze,andhiseyesgl eamingbluel
ikethesky
outside.Awar m gl
owbegant oinvadeherbodyand
hernakedbr eastsbeneat htherobeswelledand
hardened,sendingqui veri
ngmessagesdownt othe
achebet weenherlegs.

“Idi
dn’
texpectt
oseeyouagai
n,”shesai
dhuski
ly,
andhiseyesdar
kenedi
nthatal
ltoofami
li
arway.

“Doesthatmeanyou’
repl
easedt
hatIcame?
”he
asked,
movingcloser
.
Shestar
edintohisheavy-
li
ddedeyes,mesmeri
zed
bythemessageint hem.“
Idon’
tknow,”she
murmuredtrut
hfull
yandtheroom suddenl
yfi
ll
ed
wit
hasizzl
ingtension.

“Ar
eyouwear inganythingunderneaththat?”he
demandedt hickl
y,hiseyesmovi nghungr i
lyover
herbody, almostbur ni
ngherwi ththei
rintensit
y.
Thenabr uptlyheshookhi shead.“No,don’ttel
lme,
Ipromisedmysel f—hell
, I
’
dbettergetoutofher e
now.”Movi ngdet erminedlyaway,hegr abbedthe
doorknob, pull
ingthedooropenand—

“Raj
iv.
”ItwasJay’
svoi
ce,f
il
ledwi
thsur
pri
se—and
somethingel
se.“
Whatareyoudoi
nghere?
”

Raj
ivpushedt
hedoorcomplet
elyopensothat
Mayawasvisi
blebehi
ndhi
m.“ I
’
vecomet otake
MayabacktoLondon,
”hest
atedcooll
y.
“
Thatwasn’
tnecessar
y.”Jay’
smout ht
ight
ened.
“
She’
sbookedthecoachbackandt henataxiwi
ll
t
akehert
othestati
on.I
t’sal
larr
anged.”

“Well
, Icandr i
veherdi rect
lytothestati
on.”Raj
iv
l
eanedoneshoul deragainstthedoorjamband
regardedhisbr otherdispassionatel
y.“AndI’
m sure
she’l
lfindthedr i
veal otquickerandmor e
comf ortabl
e.”Het urnedhischallengi
nggazeonher .
“Whatdoyousay, Maya? ”

Mayast
aredf
rom onebr
othert
otheot
herf
eel
ing
t
orni
n

hal
f.“
Ireall
ydon’tmi
ndeit
herway,”shemumbled
awkwardly,
holdi
ngthel
apelsofherrobet
oget
her
l
ikeali
fel
ine.

Jaywasobvi
ouslynothappywit
hthesit
uat
ion,
but
ther
ewasli
tt
lehecoulddoorsay.Raj
ivwashere
nowanditwouldber
idicul
oust
oexpectMayat
o
taket
hecoachwhenhewasdr i
vingback.A
sit
uat
ionRaj
ivwasquit
eawareof.

Hestrai
ghtenedupwit
hawr ysmi
le.“
Wellt
hat’
s
set
tl
ed,then,
”hesai
d.“Whatti
mewouldyouli
keto
l
eave?”

Theyl ef theral oneaf t

eragr eeingonat i
me, and
Mayaf ellont oherbed, expel li
ngashakysi ghof
reli
ef.Jayhadl ookedont hever geoflosinghi s
temper , soshe’ dendedt heexchangeasqui cklyas
possi ble, unabletoquel ltheunder l
yingexci tement
thatcour sedt hroughheratt heprospectofdr i
ving
backt oLondonwi t
hhi m.I twasr i
diculoustof eel
l
iket his, shetoldher self,buttonoavai l.I
nt hese
pastf ewdays, orweeks, herbodyseemedt ohave
takenonal i
feofitsown, andnomat terhowshe
mi ghttryt ogovernitwi thacool ,l
evel head,itwas
nott akinganynot i
ceofher .
Chapt
er18
Sayinggoodbyet
oJaywasnoteasy—f
orei
therof
them.

“Youknowyou’ rewelcometocomeupandst ay
withmei nEdinburghanyti
meandf oraslongas
youl i
ke,”shetoldhim,hereyesser i
ousast hey
staredintohis.“There’
smoret hanenoughr oom.
Wi t
hmymot heri nSouthAfri
ca,it
’sjustmeand
Josie,
”shesai d,ment i
oni
ngherf r
iendwhoJay
knewqui t
ewel l
.

Theywer
eatthebot
tom ofthestair
case.Raj
ivand
hi
smotherwait
eddi
screet
lyoutside.

“Iknowandt hankyou,Maya, butIcan’tkeep

runningaway.”Therewasar esignedlookinhis
eyesandi tworr
iedher.“Ma’st r
yingtoconvinceme
togot oI
ndiawithher,butI’
llprobablystayhere
andcontinuewiththetherapy.”
“It
hinkyou’rer
ightt
ocont
inuewitht
hether
apy,
”
Mayaagr eed.“
Butdoyouthinki
t’
sagoodideaf
or
youtobeher eonyourown?”

“Betterthanbei ngwit
hher,searchi
ngtheupper
classesofI ndiansociet
yforasuitabl
ewi f
efor
Rajiv.”Her ol
ledhiseyes.“
Ithi
nkshe’sfinall
y
reali
zedt hatit’
snotgonnawor kwithKir
ti,
sot he
searchbegi nsagain.”

Maya’
sstomachhol l
owed,butshemanagedt o
keepasmilepastedon.WhetheritwasKirt
ior
someotherperf
ectl
ybeauti
fulIndianwoman,di
d
notmakeanydiffer
ence.Nottoheratleast
.

Shegrimacedandsqueezedhissli
m, deli
cat
e
hands.“I
’l
lphoneyouwhenIgetback, andIwant
youtothinkaboutcominguptostaywi t
hmeand
Josi
e.PleaseJay?It’
l
lbefun,
justli
ketheolddays.
”
Hegaveherar
eassuri
ngsmileandthenputhi
s
ar
msaroundher.“
Okay.I
’
llt
hinkabouti
t.And
Maya…”

Shepul
ledawaysl
ight
ly.“
Yes?
”

“Don’
tlethi
m convi
nceyout
ost
aywi
thhi
min
London.”

“
Ofcour
senot
!”

“Don’
tlooksosurpri
sed.”Hi
sexpr
essionwas
seri
ous.“I
’
m surethat’
swhathewants.”

Shebi
tintoherbot
tom l
ip.“
No,
itcan’
tbe.He’
sjust
bei
nghelpful
.”
“Don’
tbenaï
ve,Maya.Itdoesn’tsui
tyou.Nowof f
yougo.Wedon’twantyoumi ssingyourtr
ain.Then
you’
dhavetospendthenightinLondon.”

Theyl
eftthehouset oget
her,
arminarm.Raji
vand
hi
smot herwerestandingbythePor
scheandMaya
wentovertothanktheolderwomanforher
hospi
tal
it
y.

“Well
,yourpr
esencehasdefini
tel
yperkedJayup,
”
Annaconcededwithasmile.“SoIthi
nkit
’swewho
havetothankyouforcomi
ng. ”

“Notatall
.Spendingti
meher einyourbeaut
iful
home, andwit
hJay, hasbeenar ealpl
easur
ef or
me,”sheinsi
stedandmeanti t.MuchtoMaya’ s
surpr
ise,t
heolderwomanr eachedoutandhugged
her.

Mayahuggedback,
havi
ngt
ohol
dbackt
ear
sonce
agai
n.ShegaveJayonelastt
earfulembr
acebef
ore
cl
imbingi
nbesideRaj
ivandturni
ngbacktowave
ashepull
edsmoothl
yaway.

Shefel
tquit
eemot i
onalwatchingt
hecourt
lyhouse
di
sappearfr
om view.Somehowt hepl
acehad
wormeditswayintoherheartandsheknewshe
wouldmissit
.

Theycamet otheendofthepropert
yandhegave
heranenquir
ingglancebef
oreturni
ngont
othe
publ
icroad.“
Youokay? ”

“Yes,I
’
mf i
ne,”shemur mur ed,pret
endi
ngtolook
aroundherwithint
erest.“Howl ongwil
litt
akeusto
gettoLondon,doyout hink?”

“I
fwe’r
eluckyaboutt
woandahal fhours.
”He
maneuvredthepower
fulvehi
clewi
theaseand,
al
thoughhedrovequi
tefast,
Mayafeltconf
ident
wi
thhi
m.“
Whatt
imedoesyourt
rai
nleaveKi
ngs
Cr
oss?
”

“Si
x-f
if
teen.Wewil
lmakeitwon’
twe?
”sheasked,
Jay’
swar ni
ngechoi
nginherear
s.

Hesmiledknowi
ngly.“I
t’
snoteventwoo’
cl
ock,
Maya.Don’twor
ry.I
’l
lgetyouther
eonti
me.”

Ittur
nedouttobeapl easantdrive.Raji
vknewalot
abouttheareaanditshistor
y.Hekepther
entert
ainedwit
hstori
esofSt onehengeandhi s
memor iesasayoungboyoft heplacefil
ledwi
th
hippi
esandt r
avel
ersdur i
ngthef est
ival
sat
SummerSol sti
ce.

“Myfatherdet
estedt
hem,”hetoldher.“
ButIenvi
ed
them,especi
all
ytheki
ds.Theylookedsofr
ee,nota
carei
nt heworl
d.”
Mayanoddedsympat het
ical
ly.Thosechi
ldr
enmay
havehadveryli
tt
lemater
iall
y,comparedtohim and
Jay,butt
heyprobabl
yhadal otmor ei
notherways
thanthehei
rsofMaddoxJunt aInvest
ments.

“IsupposeJayt
oldyouallaboutourdearf
ather
,”
hesaid,cut
ti
ngi
ntoherthoughts.

“Het
oldmeali
tt
leabouthim,
”Mayasai
dcar
eful
ly
andhegaveabi
tt
erlaugh.

“
Noneofi
tver
ypl
easant
,I’
m sur
e.

“
Noi
twasn’
t,
”sheanswer
edt
rut
hful
ly.

Lat
ertheyst
oppedforacof
feebreakalongt
he
motor
wayandRajivaskedheraboutJay.
“Howdoyout hi
nkhe’l
lcopewithoutyout
here,
”he
enquir
ed,onearm hookedoverthebackofthechai
r
whil
ehiscompel l
ingblueeyesstudi
edherwith
dist
urbi
ngintensi
ty.

“
It
’sdi
ff
icul
ttosay,
real
ly.Het
oldmeyourmot
her
want
s

himt ogot oIndi

awithher
,”shesai
d—recal
li
ng
Jay’swor dsaboutAnnahuntingf
orawifef
orthe
mansi tt
ingopposit
eher—tryi
ngtogaugehi
s
reacti
ont ohercomment.

“Yeah,shet
oldme.”Het
ookasipofhiscoff
ee,
avoidi
nghergaze.“
Doyouthi
nkhe’
llgo?”

“
Hedi
dn’
tseem ver
ykeen,
”shemur
mur
ed.

Washedel
iber
atel
yavoi
dingl
ooki
ngather
?She
woul dhavel ovedt oaskhim howhef eltabouthis
mot herpickingoutpr ospectivebr i
desforhi m,but
knewi twoul dbet otal
lyinappropr i
ate.Besides,she
didn’twantt ospoilthelastfewhour stheyhad
together—andmaybeshej ustdidn’twantt oknow
abouthismar it
alplansfort hefuture.Inadditi
on,
therewasst i
llKi
rti
,whowoul dpr obablymaket he
perfectI
ndi anwi f
e.

“Can’
tsayIblamehim.Thosefossi
li
zedol
dfri
ends
ofhersi
nIndiaareenoughtoputanyonei
ntoa
stat
eofdepressi
on.”

Mayagiggl
edatt hepictur
ehe’
dpai
ntedandhi
s
eyesdar
kened.“Iloveitwhenyoul
augh—nott
hat
youdoveryoft
enar oundme.”

Mayafel
thercheekswar
m,whi
lehi
seyesf
ocused
onhermouth.
“It
oldhim he’
smorethanwel
cometocomet o
Edinburghandst
aywithmeanyti
me,
”shesaid,
str
ivi
ngt omoveont
oasafersubj
ect
,buthi
smouth
ti
ghtenedatherwor
ds.

“
Andwhatdidhesaytothat
?”heasked,
hisl
ong
l
ashesvei
li
nghi
sgaze.

“Hesaidthathecan’
tkeeprunni
ngaway,
”shet
old
him,l
if
ti
nghercupt oherl
ips.

“Runningawayf rom what?”Hestaredupatherwi

th
questi
oningeyes, butsheshruggedhersli
m
shouldersunabletoanswerhi squest
ion.“
Doyou
thi
nkhi sdepressi
onhassomet hi
ngtodowi t
hmy
fat
her’sdeath?”heaskedwi t
haf rown.

“
Whatmakesyousayt
hat
?”sheasked,
stal
li
ng.
Raj i
vr akedi
npatientf inger
sthroughhi shair
.“I
don’tknow.Het ol dmet hey’
dhadanar gumentj ust
beforet heacci
dent ,andJayhast hisfooli
shnotion
thatitwashi sf
aul t.Isai di
twascr azy.Ourfather
hadbeendr i
nki
ngwhenhecr ashed.Hewasal ways
drinkinganddriving, anaccidentwai t
ingto
happen. ”Hedrainedt helastofhiscoffeeand

gr
imaced.“
Didhet
ellyouaboutt
hat
?”

Mayast
areddowni
ntohercup.“
Yes”
.

“
Soi
t’
sst
il
lbuggi
nghi
m.”I
twasast
atement
.

Shenodded,wishi
ngshecoul
dtellhi
mthewhol
e
st
oryashiseyesquest
ionedher
.

“Doyouknowwhatitwasthatthey’
dargued
about
?”heasked.“
Heneverdidsay.”
Shemoist
eneddryli
pswit
ht heti
pofhert
ongue,
sor
elyt
emptedtotel
lhi
m everyt
hing.

“Youknow, don’
tyou?”hestatedgriml
y,butst
il
lshe
didn’tr
eply.“Whyallthi
ssubterfuge?He’
smy
brother,
goddammi t
!”

Mayawoul dhavegi venanythi

ngtotel
lhimt he
trut
hrightthereandt hen,andherhear
twentoutto
him ashesear chedherf aceforcl
uesthatshe
couldn’
tgivehim.“ Youneedt otal
ktoJayabout
thesethings,Raji
v,notme. ”

Hi
seyesnarrowed.“
Incaseyouhaven’
tnot
iced,
my
br
other
’sopi
nionofmeseemst ohavet
akenadive
si
nceyoucameont hescene.
”

Mayasquir
medathiswords.“
I’
m sor
ry.Maybe
t
hingswi
lli
mprovenowthatI’
mleavi
ng.”
“I
t’
snotyourf
aul
t,
”hesai
dsof
tl
y.“
Areyougoi
ngt
o
comeback?”

Shef
rowned.“
Comeback?
”

“
Her
etoEngl
and—t
oJay?
”

“
Oh,no.
”Shepaused.“
Wel
l
,atl
eastnoti
nthenear
f
utur
eanyway.
”

Aft
eralongstr
ainedsi
lence,
hepushedbackhi
s
chai
r.“
Shallwegothen?”

Mayacoul
dn’
ttel
lifhewaspl
easedwi
thheranswer
ornot
.

Oncebackont
hemot
orway,
theat
mospher
eeased
andMayagott heimpressi
onthathewasmaki nga
concer
tedeff
orttokeepthi
ngslightandamicabl
e.
Heputsomemusi con,anoldi
esradiost
ati
on,
whichl
eftherfeel
ingsadandmel anchol
y.

Alltoosoon, theywer eent eringtheout skirt

sof
LondonandRaj i
vhadt osl owdownast hetraffic
becameheavi er.Mayaal lowedher selft orelaxand
enjoyt hepr eciousmoment sl ef
t,glancing
surreptit
iouslyathi sprof i
lewhi leheconcent r
at ed
ont hebusyr oadahead, impr int
inghi schi sell
ed
featuresonhermemor y.Thesensualshapeofhi s
mout h;hist hick,strai
ghtlashes;andt hewayhi s
hairfellf
or war doverhisbr ow, i
tsdar kness
catchingt helightwheneverhemoved.I twasn’ tfai
r,
shet hought ,closinghereyesagai nstthesudden
achei nherchest .Ifonlythey’ dnevermet ,i
fonl y
shecoul dgobackt obei ngt hecoolcont r
oll
ed
womant hatshe’ dbeenbef orehehadcomeal ong
andt urnedherwor l
dupsi dedown.
Ittookagest ogeti ntocentralLondon, butshe
didn’tmind, cherishingeachmi nutetheyhad
togetheranddr eadingthet houghtofsayi ng
goodbye.Al t
hought heydidn’ttal
kmuch, t
herewas
adeepl yintimat emoodi nt hecarandal ongi
ng
everyt i
met heireyesmet ,makingi tdif
ficultt
olook
away.Ther adiobeganpl ayingasl ow,sexyEr ic
Claptont une,andMayaf eltherwholebody
suffusedi nasensualheat .Shecl osedhereyes,
all
owi ngt hehaunt ingguitartodrughersenseswi t
h
i
tsmel ody.

“We’r
ehere,
”Raj
ivsai
dsoft
lyandsheopenedher
eyeswit
hasinki
ngfeel
ing.

Her eversedintoapar kingspacewhil

eshel ooked
around,vaguel yrecognizi
ngtheareafrom when
she’dfir
starrived.Sot hi
swasi t
.Shetookadeep
breathandt urnedt ofacehim.

Hedugsomechangeoutoft
hef
rontpocketofhi
s
j
eans.“
I’
llj
ustfeedt
hemeterandt
henwe’
l
lgo.
You’
vestil
lgotl
oadsoft
ime.”

“There’
snoneed.”Sher eachedouttostophim as
heopenedt hedoor,herfi
ngerscl
ingi
ngt othesof
t
cottonofhisTshi
rt.“
Imean, youdon’thavetocome
withme,”shefini
shedtremulousl
y,herhand
droppingbackontotheseat.

“Maya,t
here’
snowayI’
ml eavi
ngyouhangi
ng
aroundKingsCr
ossst
ati
ononyourown,”hesai
d,
cl
imbingoutoft
hecar
.

Ami nut
elat
er,
theyenteredthestati
onandshehad
toadmittof
eel
ingalotmor econfidentwit
hthet
all
steel
ymaleathersi
de,hersuitcaselooki
ngli
ght
andfli
msyinhiscapablehands.

Theywereanhourear
ly,
butheinsi
stedonf i
ndi
ng
outwhi
chplat
for
m hertr
ainl
eftf
rom str
aightaway,
sotheymadet
hei
rwayovert
otheI
nfor
mat
ion
Desk.

Theyoungbl ondewomangaveRaj ivanapologetic

smileaft
ercheckingMaya’ sti
cket
.“I’
m af
rai
dt his
tr
ainhasbeendel ayed.There’
sapr obl
em wit
ht he
l
ineandal lt
rai
nstoEdi nburghhavehadtobe
postponed.Wouldyoul ikesomeinformat
ionon
overni
ghtaccommodat i
on?”

“That’
snotnecessary,
”herespondedqui
ckl
y.“We
haveaccommodat ions.Canyougiveusaphone
numbert ocallf
ori
nformati
ononwhent het
rai
ns
willberunni
ngagain?”

Thewomanwasmor ethanhappytoassisthim, but

Mayahar dl
ynoticed,hermindtryi
ngt ograspthe
i
mplicat
ionsofthischangeofpl ans.Shewasgoi ng
tohavetospendt henightinLondon!Thewor ld
seemedt oshri
nkar oundherasshel ookedupi nto
Raji
v’
sglitt
eri
ngeyes, theai
rthr
obbingbet ween
t
hem.

“Shal
lwegothen?”hemurmur
edand,
ashisgaze
heldher
s,Mayaknewther
ewasnotur
ningback.

Theyweregoi
ngtospendtheni
ghtt
oget
herand
nothi
ngcoul
dchangethatnow.
Chapt
er19

Notawor dwasspokenbet weent hem ast hey

drovet hrought hebusyLondonst reets.Mayawas
i
nadaze, unabletot hinkcl ear
lyasshest aredout
ofthecarwi ndow.Shehadal l
owedhi mt otake
cont r
olofever ythi
ng, from dealingwi ththewoman
attheI nformationDeskt ogetti
ngal lthenecessary
i
nfor mationandpr opellinghergent l
ybackt othe
car.Herbodyt rembl edwi t
hami xt
ur eoffearand
antici
pat i
onatt het houghtofwher eexactlyshe
woul dbespendi ngt heni ght.Wassheaf oolto
wantt his?Washej ustusi ngher?Anddi ditreall
y
mat
ter
?

Tomor r
owshewoul dbeonthatt
rai
nbackt
o
Edinburgh,
butatl
eastshe’
dhavehermemori
est
o
takewithher.

Anighttogetherwi
thRaji
vwassomet hi
ngthatshe
wouldcherishfort
herestofherli
fe,
sowhynot
gr
abt heopportuni
tynowthatithadpresent
editsel
f?

Forhi
mi tmi
ghtonlybeacasualonenight
stand,
butt
hatwashisconcern.Forheri
twouldbe
somethi
ngtotr
easure.

Mayasl owlyreal
izedt heyseemedt obedr i
vinga
dif
ferentrout
efrom theonet hey’dtakenonthat
fi
rstdayshe’darrivedinLondon, andwhenhedr ove
thecarintotheunder groundparkingareaofat al
l
buil
ding,Maya’sheadj erkedaroundt ost
are
questioni
nglyathim.“ Wherearewe, Raji
v?”
“
Myapar tment,
”hemur muredandthenaddedwi th
alookofuncert
ainty,
“Ifyoudon’tl
ikeit
,I’
l
ltakeyou
t
ot hehouseinKnightsbri
dge,okay?”

Mayakeptsi
lent
,notsur
ewhatt
osay.

Hemanoeuvr edthePorschei
ntoadesi gnated
parkingspaceandt ur
nedofftheengine.Itwasdar
k
andqui etundergr
oundandshel ookedaroundher,
sti
llpuzzled.

“Idi
dn’
tknowyouhadanapar tment
,”shesai
dwi
th
afrown.“
Ithoughtyoul
ivedatt
hehousein
Knight
sbr
idge.”

“
Ineedmypr i
vacy,
Maya, j
ustli
keanyone.
”He
t
urnedinhi
sseattofaceher.“
Nowandagai nIst
ay
t
hereover
-ni
ghtbutthi
sismyLondonhome. ”
“
Soyouonl
yst
ayedt
her
ebecauseofme?
”

Hesmil
edwryly.“
Wel
l,
Icoul
dn’
tver
ywell
have
br
oughtyouhere,
asmuchasIwoul
dhaveli
kedt
o.”

Mayastaredathi
mforal ongmomentas
uncer
tai
ntycl
oudedhermi nd.“
Butyou’
vebr
ought
meherenow,”shechal
lengedsoft
ly.

Hi
sexpr
essi
onbecameser
ious.“
Yes,
doyou
mi
nd?”

Shepausedforamomentt
henshookherhead.“
No,
Idon’
tthi
nkso.”

“
Good,
shal
lwegoupt
hen?
”
Theyt ookt hel iftupt ot hepent housef loorand
enteredt heapar tment .Itsur prisedMayahowl ar ge
i
twas—l ar ge, whi te,andmi nimal istic—hi ghcei l
ings,
parquetf loor ing, purel uxur y.Shewal kedovert ot he
l
ongwi ndows, whi cht ookuponesi deoft her oom,
catchingherbr eat hatt hevi ew.Thesunhungl ow
overt heci ty.Shecoul dseet heThamesr ightbel ow
them, cur vingupandaway, towar dwhatl ookedl ike
AlbertBr idgei nt hedi stance.Foraf ewmoment s.
shel osther selfint hef air
yt alescenebel owher ,
forgettingt her easonwhyshewasher e.Buta
movementbehi ndbr oughtherswi ftlybackt othe
present .Shet urned, har dlynot icingt heunder stated
opulenceoft heenor mousr oom, hereyescl ashi ng
witht hemanst andi ngt autl
yopposi teher .Hi s
expressi onwast ense, amuscl ej erkingal onghi s
j
awl ine, andMayaf oundi tst r
angehowcompl etely
calm shef elt.Itwasasi fallthiswasmeantt obe.
From t hemomentt heyhadf i
rstmetatt het rain
stati
on, ever ythinghadbeenmovi ng—j ustl ikethe
Thamesbel owt hem—t owar dt hismomentand
nothingcoul dchanget hat.Andsoher eshewas,
readyt oacceptherf ate.
“
Woul
dyoul
ikeadr
ink,
orsomet
hing?
”

Hemotionedtowardadri
nkscabi
nedandshe
shookherhead.Thatwasnotwhyshe’
dcome.

Raj
ivstaredather
,hi
sfacet
ightwit
hsuppressed
t
ension.“Norwoul
dI,
”hemut t
ered,
slowl
ycomi ng
t
owar dher.

Hergreeneyeswatchedcuri
ousl
y,ashestoppedin
fr
ontofher,t
hei
rbodiesal
mosttouchi
ng.Reaching
outhecuppedherfaceinhi
shands,car
essingher
cheekbonessl
owlywithhi
sthumbs.

Hi
seyesvei l
edasshest aredupathim,onl yhis
l
aboredbreathi
ngbetrayedwhathewasr eall
y
f
eeli
ng.Whenhi sthumbmoveddownwar dtotrace
t
heoutli
neofherl i
ps,Mayabegant ofeeltheheat
f
rom hi
sfingert
ips,t
ransferr
ingt
hroughtohert hei
r
messageofneed.Herl i
pspart
edaut omat i
callyand
her ubbedgent lyatt hesmoot hmoi stnessinside
witht hepadoft hist humb.Shebi tdownoni tgentl
y,
hereyesneverl eavinghi s,
whichwer eal mostblack
i
nt hesof tli
ghting.Heseemedcont enttowat chher
throughhoodedeyes, onehandrestingather
j
awl ine,theothermovi ngslowlydownf r
om her
throattoherbr east.Itwashert urntobr eat
he
heavi l
ynow.Hi shandcuppedandsqueezedher
breast ,
causingherni ppletoti
ghtenwi thpl
easur e.

“
Areyouweari
ngabra?”heaskedhuski
ly,
and
Mayanoddedunabl
etofi
ndhervoi
ce.“Well
,notf
or
l
ong.
”

Hel etoutatrembli
ngsi ghandpul ledheri ntohis
arms.Hi stongueteasedatherpar tedl i
ps, sof
tl
y
nibbli
ngathersensi ti
vebottom li
p, whil
ehi sfi
ngers
reachedunderherT- shirtt
ocar esst hewar mflesh
athermi dri
ff.Maya’sarmssnakedupar oundhi s
neck, herhandsthreadingthrought hestrong
sil
kinessofhi shair
,wherei tover
lappedhiscoll
ar.
Hereyescl osed,shutti
ngoutever ythi
ngbutthe
touchandsmel lofhim.Shemoanedsof tl
ywhenhe
cuppedherachi ngbr eastthroughthesmoot hsati
n
ofherbra, br
ushinglightl
yatt hebuddingpeakand
sendingripplesofdesirethroughherbodyt opulse
hotl
ybet weenherl egs.Shebegant omove
restl
esslyagainsthim, wantingmorethanhewas
givi
ngher .

“
Raji
v,pl
ease,
”shebr
eat
hedsof
tl
yagai
nsthi
s
mout
h.

“
Areyousureaboutt
his?
”heaskedti
ght
ly.
“
Becauseoncewestartt
her
e’snogoi
ngback.
”

“I
’
m sur
e,”sheresponded,
herf
inger
stwi
sti
ngi
nto
hi
sthi
ckhair.

Andf
inal
ly,
heunl
eashedt
hepassi
onhe’
dhel
din
check.Hishandssl i
ddownt hecurveofherspi ne
toherhipsandhepul ledheragainstthesolid,
masculinestrengthofhi sbody.Hisheatinflamed
hersensesandt heur gencyofhi scaressleftherin
nodoubtofhi sneeds.Heki ssedhermanyt imes,
hismout hplunderingandbr ui
sing,asifhecoul dn’t
getenoughofher ,andsherespondedwant only,her
bodysof tandpliantinhisarms.

“Ican’tbel
ieveyou’
reher
ewi
thme,
”hechoked.“
It
’s
surreal.
”

ButforMayai twasalltooreal.Thefeelofhis
str
onghandscuppi ngherbut tocksandpul l
ingher
upagainstthehardswel lofhiserecti
onwas
wonderfull
yreal
.Her anat antal
izi
ngf i
ngeralong
theclef
tofherbottom causingabal lofheatto
uncurli
tsel
fandspr eadthroughhert hi
ghs,herlegs
almostbuckli
ngbeneat hher.Rajivmusthave
sensedherstateofhelplessness,forhescooped
herupintohisarmsandcar ri
edheracr ossthe
room.Mayadi dnotbothert
olookwherehewas
taki
ngher.Herbodyandmi ndwer ef
ocusedonlyon
him andthedesperat
esensati
onshearousedinher
.
Snakingherfi
ngersaroundhisneck,
shepull
edhis
mout hdowntohersonceagain.

“I
fyoucarr
yonli
kethis,
wewon’tmakeitt
othe
bedr
oom,”hebr
eathedunevenl
yandtur
nedtoki
ck
openadoortot
heirri
ght.

Thecur tai
nsweredrawnand,throughthedimness,
Maya’si mpressi
onwasoneofspaceandl uxuryas
Raji
vl ai
dherdownont hehugebed.TheI ndian-
cottonbedcoverfel
twonderf
ull
ysmoot handcool
againstherpalms.Sheli
ft
edherselfupontoher
el
bowsashesnappedt hesidelampon, casti
nga
softgoldenglowaroundthem.

“
Iwanttoseeyou,
”hebi
tout,pul
li
ngoffhi
sT-shir
t
wit
hunconceal
edi
mpati
ence.“Ever
yinchofyou.
”
Hedroppedhi sT-shirtontothef l
oor,hishar d,
muscul art orsocat chingthel i
ght.Mayast ared,
dri
nkinghi mi n.Hisski nwasagl ossy, golden
brown, hisbodyt hatofanat hl
ete—alll ean,sculpted
muscle, almosthai rlessexceptforthet r
ailthatled
downf rom hi sbelly-butt
ont odisappearbel owhi s
j
eans.Hecamedownont hebedbesi deher ,pull
ing
herT-shirtupandoverherheadi nonesmoot h
move, befor ekneel ingbackt ogazeatherwi t
h
smoul deringeyes.Mayawat chedhi m wat chingher ,
hispupi l
sgl i
tter
ingbl ueinthewar ml ight.Herbody
fel
thotandt ightandshebr oughtherhandsupt o
herbreast s, f
ingeringt hesensiti
venippl est hrough
herbraunt ilhesuddenl ygri
ppedherwr i
sts.

“God,Maya,youdri
vemecr azy!
”hebr
eat
hed
harshl
y,dr
aggingherhandsawayandpushi
ngher
downwi t
hhisweighti
ntothecover
s.

Hegr
oundhi
smout
hagai
nsther
s,hi
shands
grippingherwr ists, holdingherar mshi ghaboveher
head.Sl owl y,st i
llbi ndingherwr istswi thonehand,
her anhisf i
nger sdownherar mt ocupherbr east s,
oneatat imet hr ought hebra.Squeezi nguntilt
he
duskyni ppl esst rained, heloweredhi sheadand
suckedwet l
yt hr ought hesheersat in.Mayaf el
tt he
bloodt hickenl i
kel avai nherveins, herbodyar chi ng
offthebedwi thachockedsob.Hewasl yi
ng
betweenherl egs, butt heybothhadt heirj
eanson,
andt het hickcot tonbar ri
erwasmucht oomuchf or
her.Sheshi ftedherhi psi mpati
ent ly.Final
lyhel et
goofherwr istsandr eachedbehi ndt ouncl i
pher
bra.Itwaswonder fultof eelherbr eastsswel lfr
eel y
outoft heirconst ri
ct i
on.Raj i
vseemedt oenjoyit
j
ustasmuch, hist ongueci r
cli
ngandsucki ngather
nipplesgr eedi ly.

Maya’sbodyjerkedassensualpleasureassault
ed
her,
herfinger
sluxuri
ati
ngi nt
hef eelofhard
musclecoveredbysatinsmoothski n,scr
atchi
ng
hernail
sinsti
ncti
vel
yalonghisback, whil
ehebit
soft
lyathernippl
esuntilshecri
edouti nsweet
agony.

Hishandf inallyreachedt hezi pperofherj eansand,

withslowdel iberation,hepushedi tdown, tr
acing
theelasti
cofherpant ieswi t
hunst eadyf i
nger s.She
l
ift
edherbot tom eager ly,all
owi nghi mt opeelt he
j
eansof fher.Theheatbet weenhert highswas
becomi ngunbear ableandshel etoutami ndless
sobashecuppedhercr ot
chwi ththepal m ofhi s
hand.Shecoul df eelthewar mt hofhi spalm
thr
oughherdampenedpant ies.Herl egsf ell
helpl
esslyapar tashet r
acedhi sfi
ngerdownal ong
thesoftfabric,torment i
ngherwi thhisr estrai
nt.

“
You’
rewet
,”hebr
eat
hed.“
Hotandwet
.”

Mayafeltherf
aceflush,butherdesi
rewasmor e
powerf
ulthantheembar rassment
,whichebbed
awayattheobviouspleasureinhi
seyes.“Raj
,
pl
ease.
”
“
DoIneedt
ouseacondom?
”

Sheblushedagai
n.“
Um,Idon’
tknow.
”Moi
steni
ng
herswoll
enli
ps.“
I’
m ont
hepil
l—”

Raji
vrel
easedahear
tfeltsi
gh,
leani
nghi
sfor
ehead
agai
nsthers.“
Doyoutrustme?”

Shedi
dn’
thesi
tat
e.“
Yes,
ofcour
se.
”

Hershakyi nexperi
encedhandsmovedt othebutton
onhi sj
eans.Shecoul dwai tnolonger,andRajiv
shudderedasherf ingersbrushedagainsthis
achingerecti
ont hr
ought hesoftfabri
c.Withjerki
ng
movement s,shemanagedf inal
lytoundot hebutton.
Assheunzi ppedhi sfl
y,itsuddenlyoccurr
edt oher
j
ustwhatshewasdoi ng.Tohi m shemustseem
l
ikeanexper iencedwomanoft hewor l
d,butin
actualf
act,shehadneverundr essedamanbef ore.
Shehadneverevenwant
edt
o.Notunt
ilnow.

“
Maya.
”

Hisgr oanoff r
ustrat
ionbroughtherbackt or eali
ty,
andsher eal
izedthathewaswai t
ingforhert o
dispensewi thhisunderwear.Shepushedt heboxer
shor t
sdownovert hetautmusclesofhi shi psand
thenbi tbackagaspashi sengorgedshaf tspil
led
outintoherhand.Heshudder edassher anher
curiousf i
ngersalongthepulsinglength,alarmedby
thesizeofhi m.

Shedrewinatrembl
ingbreat
h,herbodysuddenl
y
tautwi
thappr
ehensi
on.Hewast oobig.Ther
ewas
nowayherbodycouldaccommodat ehim.

“Maya?”Hesensedherhesit
ati
on.“Whati
sit,
baby?”Hisvoi
cebrokeasthetensi
onbetween
them gr
ew.
“God,
Raj.I
—Idon’
tknowifIcan—”Hereyesfi
xed
ontheal
mostaggr
essivei
mageofhiserect
ion.

Hiseyesfoll
owedhergazeandhedr ewina
tr
emblingbreat
h.“Shh,
it’
sokay.
”Histonewas
soot
hing.“Iwoul
dneverhurtyou.Ipr
omise.
”

Somehowsheknewt hatmightbetruei
fshewasn’t
avir
gin,
andshewast emptedtotel
lhimthetr
uth,
butapartofherwashopingthathewouldn’tr
eali
ze
howpatheti
call
yinnocentshewas.

Herhandconti
nuedtoexpl
oret
hesmoothlengthof
hi
sboldshaft
,fasci
nat
edbythehar
d,t
hrobbing
heatofhi
m.

“Don’
t—”Hepushedherhandroughl
yawaybef
ore
shecouldexpl
oret
hemoistt
ipwithhert
humband
shelookedupathi
m wi
thapuzzledfr
own.“
Not
now,
Maya.Pl
ease.
”

Therewer ebeadsofsweatglist
eni
ngonhi s
forehead.Shebroughtherhandupl ovi
ngl
ytowipe
them awaywi t
hadawni ngreali
zat
ionofthecont
rol
hewashol dinghimselfunder
.

“Makelovetome,Raj.Now,”shewhi
sper
ed,
his
blat
antdesi
remakingherfeelbol
d.
Chapt
er20

Raji
vneedednosecondinvi
tat
ion,hi
sfi
ngers
tuggi
ngthefl
imsypant
iesdownoverherankles.“
I
knewyouwereanaturalr
edhead,”hebr
eathed
huski
ly.

Hiseyeswerefixedatt
hejunctur
eofherthi
ghsand
shealmostcoveredher
sel
fwi t
hherhands,but
stoppedasheeasedhishandbetweenherlegsand
al
lowedhisthumbt opr
obeatthemoistheartofher
.
Anexplosionofpleasureover
tookever
ythi
ngelse.
Herlegssplayedapartandherspinear
chedin
exquisi
teagonyatthemi ni
str
ati
onsofhisexper
t
fi
ngers.

Heknel
tbetweenherl
egs,hi
sfacef
lushedandtaut
wit
hdesi
re.“Thi
swaswhatIwantedfrom the
momentIsawyou,”hesai
draggedl
yandt hen
l
oweredhi
sbodyontohers.

Mayasi ghedwit
hpleasureashishar dbody
presseddownont ohers.Shecoul
df eeltheswollen
ri
dgeofhi ser
ecti
onrubbingint
imatelyagainsther.
Pushingupagainstit
,sherevel
edint hequiver
ing
sensati
onsthatwashedoverher.Butt henhepulled
back,andshecriedoutindespai
r.

“I
’m sor
ryMaya,
butIcan’
twai
t.Notanot
her
second.
”
Suddenl
yMayaf el
tthathar
d,swoll
enheadseeki
ng
andpushingi
ntoher.Amomentofpurepanic
att
ackedher,
andherbodyfroze.

“
Relax,
”hechocked,
beadsofsweatrol
li
ngf
rom hi
s
f
acedownontoherbreast
.“ForGod’
ssake,
Maya,
r
elax.
”

Her eacheddownbet weent hem andr anhisf i

nger
alongthet hrobbingsexualbudatt het opofhersex
andi mmedi atelythepaindissolvedi ntothatweak
draggingpl easureagain.Hedr ewbackf rom her,
placinghisf i
nger satherti
ghtent rance,easingtwo
ofthem insideofher .Itfel
twonder f
ul.Withhis
thumbci rcli
nghercl it
ori
sandhi sfingersmovi ng
i
nsideofher ,drawingthehotmoi stureout,she
couldonlymoansof tl
y,cir
clingherhi pswith
restl
essimpat i
ence.Finall
y,her emovedhi sf i
ngers,
stari
ngatherwi t
hglazedeyes, suckingthem into
hismout honeatat i
me.
Mayawasdr
owningi
nthehotdesi
reofhi
sgaze,
over
comewi
thneedshecoul
dbarel
yunderst
and.

“
Yout
ast
eli
keheaven,
”hebr
eat
hed.

Gri
ppinghisshafti
nhisfist
,heguidedhisengorged
penistoherti
ghtentr
ance,pushinghimselfi
ntoher.
Aloudyelpofpainescapedher,herinnermuscles
ti
ghteni
nginsti
ncti
vel
yagainsttheinvasi
onofthe
thi
ckheadofhi ser
ecti
on.

“
Whatthe—”Raji
vst
areddownint
ohereyes,
now
f
il
ledwi
thtear
sofpai
n.“God,
Maya,why?”

Thepaineasedsomewhatasshet ooksomemuch
neededoxygeni nt
oherlungs.Sheneededtodo
thi
s,want
edt odot hi
swithhim andnooneelse,so
whenhetriedtowi t
hdrawfrom hershel
ockedher
l
onglegsar oundhim anddughernailsi
ntothe
bunchedmuscl esofhisback.
“
Don’
tst
op,
”shechoked.“
Don’
tyoudar
est
opnow!
”

Hangi ngoverher
,breathi
ngheavily,
Raj i
vhesit
ated
forasecondandt henwi t
hagr oanofr esi
gnati
on
thrustagai
nsttheti
ghtbarri
erofherhymen.Maya
cri
edoutatt hesharp,bur
ningpainthatpiercedher
body.Tearsofhurtandf r
ustr
ationfi
ll
edhereyes.
Hewasdeepi nsi
dehernow, notmovi ngexceptfor
thetrembli
ngofhisbody.

“
God,Maya,
”hesaidi
nastr
angledvoi
ce.“
Idon’
t
wantt
ohurtyou,
buti
fyouwantthi
s—”

“
Don’tstop.
”Tearswereleaki
ngdownt
hesi
desher
f
ace.“Justgeti
toverwit
h.”

Hewi t
hdr
ewsl
owl
y,butt
henpushedi
nagai
n,even
deeper
thi
sti
me,wi
thagroanofpl
easur
eor
…somet
hing.
Shewasn’
tsur
e.

Thesharppainhadnowt ur
nedi ntoadeep,burni
ng
ache,causi
ngherbodyt otenseupasheeased
backoutagain.“Br
eathe,Maya,”hegroaned.“For
God’ssake,br
eathe!”Andshefor cedher
selft
o
drawat r
emblingbreath.

Slowly,hesetanagoni zingpace:advanceand
retr
eat,advanceandr etreat
.Mayaswal l
owedasob,
bit
ingdownhar donherl owerli
p.Shewant edto
scream athi mtostop,butshesufferedinsil
ence
i
nstead, unti
lsuddenlyhiswholesweat -
sli
cked
bodyst i
ffened.Armsbr acedoneithersi
deofher ,
hear chedhisbackanddr ovei
ntoheronel astt
ime
withast rangl
edmoan.

Hi
sbr
eat
hingwasr
aggedbutt
hankf
ull
y,hedi
dn’
t
coll
apseont oher ,al
thoughhi sarms,infacthis
wholebody, wast rembl i
nganddr enchedi nsweat.
Mayacl osedhereyes, unabl
et ol
ookathi m.Sl owl
y
heeasedhi msel foutofher ,
andshegavea
desperatemoanofr eli
ef.Leaningbackonhi s
knees,hehover edbet weenherspr eadthighsand
shecover edhereyeswi thherarm.Shewas
desperatetocloseherl egs.Shef el
texposedand
angry,wit
hher selfaswel lashim, t
heunpl easant
sti
ckinessbetweenherl i
mbsonl yaddingt oher
regr
et.

“Maya—I’
m sor
ry.
”Heswal
lowed,
tryi
ngt
ocat
chhi
s
breat
h.

“Coul
dyoupleasemove,
”shesaidi
nat
ightvoi
ce,
herar
m st
il
lcoveri
nghereyes.

“
Ofcour
se.
”
Shef
elthi
m moveandcl
osedherlegsti
ght,a
tr
embl
ingsobescapi
ngf
rom deepinherthr
oat.

*
**

Rajivclimbedofft hebedandmadehi swayt othe

en-suitebathr
oom, hi
smi ndi nturmoil
.Avirgi
n!
Howt hehellwast hatpossible?Hegr abbedasmal l
,
whitehandt owel andsoakedi tunderwarm water
,
stari
ngathi mselfinthemi r
r or.Whythehellhadn’
t
shet oldhi
m?

Hewoul
dneverhavet
ouchedheri
fhe’
dknown.

Heswor ecrudelyatt
hef aceinthemirr
or.Shehad
nevergivenhim anyi
ndicationt
hatshewas
untouched.Heclosedhiseyes,unabletobearthe
facestari
ngbackathim.AndwhataboutSanj ay?
Didthismeant heyweren’tl
overs?Ofcourse,
they
weren’tl
overs!Howcouldt heybe?Toomany
questionswer ecl amour i
ngi nhishead, maki ngi t
i
mpossi bleforhimt of unction.Rightnow, hehadt o
seet oherneeds, tr
yandeaseherpai n, event hough
shepr obabl yhatedhi sgut s.Aftert
hisf i
asco, she
wasn’ tgoingtolethi mt ouchheragai n.Raj i
v
quashedt hethought .Itwast oodepr essingt o
contempl ate.Hecaughtagl impseofhi sl owerbody
i
nt hemi r
rorandhef eltsickwi t
hguiltatt hesi ghtof
Maya’ sbl oodsmear edwi thhissemen.Hewashed
i
tof fquicklyatthebasi n,wishinghecoul djump
undert heshowerandt ryt owashawaysomeoft he
guil
tandr emorsehef elt,buttherewasnot i
me.He
neededt oseetoMayaf i
rst.

Squeezingtheexcesswat erfr om t
hetowel,
het ook
asteadyingbreathandmadehi swaybackintothe
bedroom.Thankf ul
lyt
helightwasdi m,j
usttheone
l
ampbesi det
hebedcast ingasof tglowoverthe
room.Shewasl yi
ngonhersi de,f
acingawayf r
om
him,curl
edupl i
keawoundedani mal.Hefel
this
stomachknot.Acceptingt hathehaddonet histo
her,hemadehi swayr oundt ohersideofthebed
andsatdown.

Hereyesclosedandhegentl
ybr
ushedherhair
awayfrom thesi
deofherf
ace.“
Maya,baby.
”

Shedi
dn’
trespond,sohef
oldedthedamptowel
i
ntoasmallsquar
eandlai
ditgentl
yagai
nsther
ski
n.

“
Maya,
letmewi
peyourf
ace.
”

Foral ongmoment , shedi dn’trespond, andt hen

slowlyshet urnedtohi m,avoi dingeyecont act
.He
want edt osaysomet hing:apol ogize,beg,plead,but
hisbr aintol
dhimt okeepsi lent .Heopenedt he
towelandgent l
ywi pedherf ace.Shewasl ooking
strai
ghtaheadofher ,buthej ustcont inued
smoot hingt
heclothf rom herf oreheadt oherchin,
wipingawayt heremnant sofhert ears,keepinghis
mi ndbl ankofeverythingexcepteasi ngher
discomfort
.Sheclosedhereyesandhel aidthe
towelacrossthem, gentl
yst r
oki
ngherdamphai r
.
Hereyesst ayedcl
osedwhenhedr ewthecloth
downwar d,smoothingitalongherneckand
shoulder
,thenslowly,careful
lyeasedherontoher
backandbeganwi pingherchest,aboveherbreasts.
Ashemoveddownwar d,shetri
edtoresi
st,cover
ing
herbreastswithherarms.

“
Please,baby,
letmedothi
s.”Hi
svoi
cewashoar
se.
“
Idon’tknowwhatelset
odo.”

Shemusthavehear dt hedesper
ati
oninhisvoice,
forsherel
ented,movi ngherarmsstiff
lytoher
sidesandstr
aighteningherlegs,butkeepingt
hem
ti
ghtlyhel
dtogether.

Hewi pedaroundherbr east

sandthenslowly
ci
rcl
edt heclothovereachbeauti
fulmound.When
hestoodup, hereyesopened,hugeandvulnerabl
e
i
nthedi mli
ght .
“
I’
mj ustgoi
ngtor
inseoutt
het
owel
,
”het
oldher
.
“
I’
llbebackinaminut
e.”

Shecl
osedhereyesandl
etoutal
ongsi
gh.

Hewasbacki nlesst hanami nute.Shewasl yingin

thesameposi ti
on, herbodyhel dt i
ght l
ytogether .
Raj i
vsatdownagai nandcont inuedhi s
mi ni
st r
ations.Wi pi
nghermi driffandt henmovi ng
slowl ydownt ohersof t,fl
atstomach.Shet ightened
herlegswhenher eachedt het opofherpubes.God!
Thecol orofherpubi chairwasbeaut i
ful
.Afew
shadesdar kert
hanherhead, itwasadeepcopper ,
thet exturef i
neandsi l
ky,beginningl owdownher
moundandbar elycover i
ngthesof t,pouti
ngf olds
ofhervul va.Hef el
tt heheatrusht ohisgroinand
clampeddownoni twithani r
onf ist.He’dnever
seenanyt hingsoer oti
c,sotempt ingi nhisli
fe.
Her ant heclot
hal ongherhi panddownonel ong,
supplel eg,
thenbeganatt hebottom ofherother
l
egand, insl
owci r
cularmovement s,wipedupt o
herthighandf inall
yendedatherr i
ghthip.Herbody
wasmor er
elaxednow, hereyessti
llcl
osed,buther
breathingwascal m anddeep.Hest ooduponce
mor etogoandr inseaf reshtowel.

Whenhecamebackhereyeswer ehal
fopen,sleepy
l
ookingand, wi
thouthesi
tat
ing,helai
dthewar m,
dampt owelattheapexofherthighs.Hereyes
widened,butshedidn’
tmove.

“Maya,l
etmedot hi
s,baby.You’
llf
eelmuchbet
ter
.”
Thatvul
nerabl
elookwasbacki nhereyes,
andhe
shookhisheadinsel
f-
deprecati
on.

Sheclosedhereyes,
andhefelt,r
atherthansaw,
herrel
ax.Hef ol
dedt
hetowelandwi pedslowly
downwar d.Herl
egspar
tedeversosl i
ghtl
y.There
weresmudgesofherbloodmi xedwithhissemen
smear edbetweenhert highsandawaveofshame
washedoverhi m.Hebi tbackagroanand
conti
nuedcl eaningtheinsidesofherlegs.Final
ly,
hefoldedthet owellengthwaysandcover edhersex
wit
hit.Shel etoutanotherlongsigh,whichhe
hopedwasoneofr eli
ef,andbentherkneesi na
waythatallowedhert highstospreadal i
ttl
emor e.

Itwaski ll
inghi m nottotouchher ,
buthedr eaded
herr ej
ection.Hest oodupand, reali
zinghewas
naked, madehi swayi ntothewal k-i
nclosetand
pulledonaf reshpai rofboxers.Movi ngtotheot her
sideoft hebed, hel aydownbesi deher,car
ef ulnot
tot ouchher .Bendinghi sarm, herestedhisheadi n
hispal m sot hathecoul dlookather .Shegazed
war il
yathi m outoft hecornersofhereyesand
l
iftedherhandt opr essitgingerl
yagai nstt
het owel
betweenherl egs.

“
Areyouver
ysor
e?”heaskedsof
tl
y.
“
No.
”

Itwast hefir
stwordshe’dspokensi nceshe’dasked
himtogetof fofherandr el
iefwashedoverhi m.He
wantedt oaskherat housandquest ions,
thefir
st
onebei ng:Whydidn’tyoutellme?Buther ef
rai
ned
from doingso.Nowwasnott heti
meso, veryslowly
helif
tedhi shandandr anhisf i
ngerveryli
ghtl
y
downherar m,wai
tingforhert ofl
inch.Shedidn’t
.

“Wouldyouli
kesomet hi
ngt
odri
nk?”heasked.
Anyt
hingtobringsomenormal
it
ytothesi
tuati
on.
“Water
,jui
ce,
anything?”

Shemoist
enedherl
ips.“
Wat
erwoul
dbegood,
pl
ease.
”

Raji
vjumpedup,eagerforsomet
hingt
odof
orher
.
“Onewatercomi
ngup. ”
Whi lehewaspour ingwat erf orbot hofthem, he
remember edtheCal endulacr eam hi smot herused
touse, forcutsandbr ui
ses, onhi m andSanj ay
whent heywereki ds.Her i
fledt hroughtheki tchen
cupboar dandf oundaj arofi t.Returni
ngt othe
bedr oom, heplacedt hejaront hebedsidet ableand
waitedf orMayat osi tupbef or ehandinghert he
wat er.“I
’vegotsomecr eam her ethatwillhel
pease
thesor eness,
”hemur mured, tryi
ngt okeephi s
voicest eady.
Chapt
er21

Mayagulpeddownt hewater,
star
ingatthej
arof
cream.Anythi
ngtoavoidt
heeyecont act
,whi
chlef
t
herembarrassedyetbr
eat
hlessatthesametime.
“Whatisi
t?”

“I
t’
sCal endulacream, f
rom I ndia.
”Hesmi l
ed.“My
mot heruseditonSanj ayandIwhenwer ekids.It
’s
greatforcuts,scrapes,bruises—anythi
ngr eal
ly.
”
Het ookherglassandpl acedi tonthebedsidetabl
e.
“
Liedownandr
elax.
”

Mayahesi tatedandt henwr iggl

eddownsoshewas
l
yingf l
atont hebed, feel
ingshameandr egret.She
sti
llfel
tsorewher ehe’denteredherandt herewasa
burningachedeepi nsideherbody.Thesexhad
beenf arfr
om pl easant.I
nf act,
ithadbeenal ot
mor epainfulthanshe’ dexpected,andshewasn’ t
keent otr
yi t
—everagai n.

“Rel
ax,Maya,
thi
sisgoi
ngt
omakeyouf
eelal
ot
bett
er.Ipr
omi
se.
”

Shetookadeepbr eat
handl eti
toutsl
owly.Hebent
overandkissedherchast
elyontheli
ps.Thenhe
openedthejar,di
ggi
nghisfi
ngerinsi
deand
bri
ngingitoutwit
haliber
alamountofcream.

“
Openyourl
egsf
orme,
baby,
”hesai
dsof
tl
y.
Shest i
ffenedashesl owlywit
hdrewt hetowelfrom
betweenherl egsanddr oppeditbythesideofthe
bed.Pul l
ingherlegtowardhim beforeshecould
protest,heswipedhiscreamedf i
ngeralongthe
seam ofhersex.Rubbi nggentl
y, hepaidpar
ticular
att
ent i
ont ohersore,swoll
enentrance.

Maya’ seyesclosedassensat i
onengulfedherbody.
Beginningbetweenherl egs,swi r
lsofpleasure
resonatedthroughherbody, shocki
ngherwi thit
s
i
ntensity,causi
ngherbot tom tolif
toffthemat t
ress.
Hisfingermovedupagai n,rubbing,ci
rcli
ngher
cli
tori
s,andamoanescapedherl i
ps.Afteral
lthe
painandunpl easantnessoft hesexualact,she
hadn’teverexpectedthislush, wantonsensati
ont o
suddenlyconsumeher .

“Youli
kethis.”I
twasast at
ement ,
andMaya
draggedsomeoxygeni ntoherlungs,
unabl
eto
answerhim, ashisf
ingercont
inuedtoweaveaweb
ofcarnalpl
easurearoundher.
Thecr eam fel
tslipperyandmoi stbetweenherl egs.
Shet ri
edtogr abbacksomecont rol
,buthewas
rel
ent l
ess,movingexper tl
yfr om hert hrobbi ngnub
ofpleasuredown, r
immi nghi sf i
ngerar oundher
sensiti
veent r
ance.Sl owthenqui cker,sof tandt hen
fi
rm.Up, downandt henar ound—agai n, andagai n.
Herbr eathwascomi nginshor tgaspsand, whenhe
bentovert onuzzleherhai r,shehear dhi sbr eathing,
harshanduneven, war m againstherear .She
turnedherhead, searchingforhi smout h, andhe
responded, dr
awi ngherintoi nadeep, dr uggi ngki ss.
Mayahadl ostallsenseofr eason.Herf inger nai l
s
dugi ntohishairashi sdesper ate,probingmout h,
togetherwithhisf i
ngers,wenton, andon.Suddenl y
hepushedaf ingerinsideherandherbodyst if
fened.

Allthenerveendingsinsideofherpr otestedathi
s
i
nvasi on,
yetti
ghtenedi nsweet,pleasurablepai
n.
Hisf i
ngertwi
stedaroundi nsideher,histhumb
teasinghernubofpl easure,r
ubbingandt hen
pressingdownf i
rmly,again,andagai n.
Mayadraggedhermouthawayfrom histogasp
andthenl
etoutalong,t
rembl
ingmoanasherbody
convul
sedint
oatight
lywoundknotthatexpl
oded,
sendi
ngshockwavesthr
oughoutherwrit
hingbody.

Raji
vcover
edhermout hi
nanotherl
ongsoulf
ulki
ss,
easi
nghisfi
ngerslowl
youtofherandcuppi
ngher
hotmoundwithhishand.

Shewast rembling,theaftershocksofsensat ion,

mi xedwiththesensi ti
zedf l
areofherner veendi ngs,
sendi ngri
pplesofpl easurefrom herthighst oevery
par tofherbody.Rajwaspr essinglightkissesto
hermoi stface,hereyes, hercheekbones, softl
y
nibblingatherear l
obes,untilherbreathingfinall
y
sl
oweddown.

“I
’m sor
ry,
baby.”Hi
sbreathi
ngwassti
llunevenand
shecouldfeelt
heheatofhiser
ect
ion,
throughthe
thincot
tonofhi
sboxer
s,har
dagai
nstherhi
p.“
I
didn’
tmeantogetcar
ri
edaway.
”

Hedidn’taski
fshewasokayandMayawasgl ad,
becauseshewouldn’
thavebeenabletoanswerhim.
Thefeeli
ngshadbeen…over
whelming…andjusta
l
it
tlescary.

*
**

Rajivwasl ayingonhi ssi

de,faci
ngher .She
squeezedhert r
embl i
nglegstogether,
forci
nghim
tomovehi shandawayandr estitonherstomach.
Buthewasn’ tfi
nishedwithheryet.“Maya,why
didn’tyoutellme? ”Ther
ewasahi ntofaccusat
ion
i
nhi svoice.

“
Wasi
tthatbad?
”No,
wor
se!
Hiseyesdar
kenedi nanger.“
Yesitwas—foryou,
”
hegroundout.“AndifI
’dknownitwouldhavebeen
alotl
esspai
nf ul
.”

Shesqui
rmed.“
Dowehavet
otal
kaboutt
hisnow?
”

“Yes,wedo.”Helif
tedhi
shandf r
om herfl
atbel
ly
andrakedhishairawayfr
om hisface.“
Iwould
neverhaveseducedyouifI’
dknown.”

“
Youdi
dn’
tseduceme!
”

Helif
tedhimsel
fupandlookeddownather,hi
s
blueeyesbemusedandquestioni
ng.“
I’
m aski
ng
youagain.Whydidn’
tyoutel
lme?”

Shewantedtol
ookawayf r
om thatalmost
-hur
t
expr
essi
on.Shefel
ttr
apped,corner
ed—awkward.
“I
—IguessIwasembar r
assed.
”
“
Embarr
assed!
”Hesworesof
tl
ytohimsel
f.“
Why
t
hehel
lwouldyouf
eelembar
rassed?
”

Shetr
iedt
ocoverhereyeswit
hherar
m, buthe
st
oppedher.“
Iwashopingyouwoul
dn’tnot
ice.
”

“
Wereyouashamedofbeingavi
rgi
n?”Hi
svoi
ce
wassof
t,butdeadl
yser
ious.

Mayadrewinadeepbr eat
h.Hejustwasn’tgoi
ngto
l
etthi
sgo.“Yes…maybe.Afteral
lIam overt
wenty-
one,
”shefi
nishedl
amely.

Hemovedabruptly,
sit
ti
ngupandcr ossi
nghisl
egs,
draggi
ngbot
hhandst hroughhi
shairinf
rust
rat
ion.
“Iwoul
dneverhavetouchedyouifI
’
dknown.”

Awaveofdej
ect
ionwashedoverher
,shedi
dn’
t
wantt
obel
ievehi
m.“
Areyousur
e?”

“
Yes,
I’
m sur
e.”I
twasast
atement
.

Mayafel
tut
ter
lydef
lat
ed.Shesearchedhisface,
buthi
sexpr
essi
onwashar danddetached.

“Iwouldneverhavet akenyourvirgi
nit
y,”he
conti
nuedinal evelvoice.“NotwhenIcan’teven
off
eryoumar ri
age.”Aner vousgi
gglebubbledout
ofher.“Marr
iage!”

“Youfindthi
samusi ng?”Hi
sexpressionwasreal
ly
angrynow.“Idon’tknowwhatit’
slikeinyour
cult
ure,butwhereIcomef r
om taki
ngawoman’ s
vir
gini
tyisaveryseriousmatt
er.”

“I
’
m sorr
y,Raj
iv,
butIdon’
twantt
ogetmar r
ied.
”
Shehesi
tat
edandthenfor
cedhersel
ftoconti
nue.“
I
don’
tevenknowi
fIbel
ievei
nmar
ri
age.
”

Hel ookedgenui nelyshocked, thenhiseyes

narrowed, asifhewascomi ngt oaconclusi
on,a
concl usionthatt
urnedhi sfaceashardasgr anit
ein
thelowl i
ght.Onl
yhi seyeswer eal
ive,al
iveand
blazingwi thaccusation.“Sowhat ?Thiswasj ustan
exper imentforyou?”I nlessthanasecond, hewas
straddlingher,gri
ppingherhandsaboveherhead,
hangi ngoverherlikeawi ldanimal.

“
Raj
!Pl
ease,
you’
rehur
ti
ngme.
”

Heignoredherpl
eas,nudgingonekneebetween
herl
egs.Whenshet r
iedtostruggl
e,hesimplyli
ft
ed
hiswei
ghtandloweredhimselfdownont oher.“
So
whendidyoudecidethatIshouldbetheonet o
assi
styouingett
ingri
dofyourvi r
gini
ty!
”

Hi
sfacewasal
mostt
ouchi
ngher
s,ashi
swor
ds
sli
cedt hroughherl i
keakni f
e.Whywashesoangr y?
Justbecauseshehadbeenavi rgin?Hewas
breathinghar dandsowasshe.Shest r
uggledt
o
pushhi m of fher,
whilehi
shandsbr uisedherwrists
i
nt heirir
ongr i
p.Whenshef elthiser ecti
onpressing
againsthert high,apri
ckl
eoff earr andownher
spine.Hewassobi gand,ifhelostcont r
ol,
he
wouldhur theragain.Thethoughtofhi sthr
usti
ng
thathuge…t hingintoherrawandachi ngbodyagai n
wast oomuch.

“Pl
easedon’thurtmeagai
n,”shesobbed,and
suddenlyhesti
ll
ed,onl
yhi
sr aggedbreat
hing
betr
ayingthestr
esshewasf eel
ing.

“
God,
Maya,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngt
ome?
”

Her
eleasedherwri
stsandbr
oughthi
shandsdown
t
ocupherface.“
Youmakemehat emysel
f.
”
Andt henhismout hwasonher s,
hardand
demandi ng,sl
antinghisheadf orabet t
er,
deeperf i
t.
Hot,possessivekissesthatleftherweakand
cl
ingingtohim.God, themanknewhowt omake
l
ovewi thhismout h!Sheslidhert ongueagainsthis,
al
lowinghi mtosuckgent lyatit.Heatwas
unfol
dingbet weenherlegsandsheknewhef el
tthe
samewhenhegr oundhimsel fagainsther.

Shewant edhim, cravedhi m,butshewasst i

llsore,
andthehugebul geofhi sshaf tpr
essi ngagai nsther
wasast ar kreminderoft hepainshej ustdidnot
wantt oendur eagai n.Wasshepr epar edtogo
thr
oughi tforhim?Shewasn’ tsur e.Allsheknew
wast hatshedi dn’twantt ostopandshedi dn’twant
himtost op.Sowhenhi smout hmoveddownf r
om
herthroattof i
nallysuckl eatherachi ngbr east ,
she
gaveher selfuptot hecr avingsensat ionsthat
seemedt ohaveahot li
nef rom herbr eastst othe
sweet,ti
ghtpl easuret hatwasbegi nningtot hrob
betweenherl egs.Hi spacebecamel essur gent,
suckingandgent lybiti
ngeachbr east ,t
akinghi s
sweetti
meandMayawrit
hedbeneat
hhim,
diggi
ng
herhandsi
ntohi
sthi
ckhai
r,ar
chi
ngher
body—wanti
ngmore.

Raj i
vgr i
ppedherhi ps, hol dingherst il
lwhi l
ehe
movedhi smout hsl owl ydownhermi drif
ft owar ds
herst omach.Shedughernai l
si ntohi sshoul der s
andwr appedherl egsar oundhi s,rubbi ngt he
i
nst epsofherf eetinvi ti
ngl yalonghi slegs, eggi ng
him onevent houghsheknewi twasst upidand
reckless.Shewant ed, needed…shewasn’ tevensur e
what ,butherbodyf eltlikeitwasbei ngwoundup
ti
ght erandtight er.Hismout hwasatherbel ly
but t
onnow, hi st onguemaddeni ngl yslowasi t
circl
edandl ickedati tbef or etravelingdownwar d.
Hishandsgent l
yeasedhert hi
ghsapar t,andt hen
hishotmout hwast her e,onherexposed, swollen
fl
esh.Herbodyj erked, asur geofl ushpl easur e
claimingherandempt yinghermi ndofever yt
hing
buthi stongue, mout h,lips,evenhi st eeth.
Shewasgoi ngt opassout .Itwast oomuch, and
shestruggled,pushi ngathi sshoul ders,yet
thr
ustingherhi psagai nsthim att hesamet i
me, her
sensesint urmoi l.Histongueswi r
ledandl i
ckedat
herachingbud.Shedr aggedai ri
ntoherl ungs,sur e
herbodycoul dt akenomor eoft hi
ssexual
onslaught.Apleadi ngsobescapedher ,buthet ook
nonot i
ce.Usingbot hhands, helif
tedherbot tom off
thebedf orbetteraccessandcont inuedt oplunder
heraching, f
emi ni necor e.Shewasbei ngwound,
ti
ghterandt i
ght er ,unt
ilshewasbeggi ng—whatf or
,
shewasn’ tsure.Hercr ieswer ehighandpi ercing,
buthewasmer ciless,hismout handt onguesl i
ding
andcircli
ngagai nsthersqui rmingf l
esh.

Suddenly,
hepushedhi sfingerdeepi nsideherand
Mayaexploded,hersensit
ivener veendi ngs
clampi
ngt i
ght
lyaroundthatintrusivefingeras
wavesofunbearablepleasurebur stt
hroughher ,
sucki
ngherdowni ntoawhi rl
poolofdr owni ng
sensat
ion.Herbreat
hwascomi ngouti nsobsashe
removedhisfi
nger,eversoslowl y,hi
smout hsti
l
l
pr
essi
nghar
dagai
nsthervul
va.

Finall
y, shefel
ther selfslowl yr
elax,softthrobsof
pleasur econti
nuingt owashoverhert rembl i
ng
body.Raj ivli
ft
edhi sheadandmovedoverher ,
coveringhermout hwi thhi s.Shewasbar ely
conscious, herbodybonel essacr ossthebed.She
couldt astehersel
fi nhisl ong,languorouski ss,her
tongueent winingwi thhis, theonlypartofherbody
thatwoul ddoherbi dding.Hereyel i
dsf el
theavy
andawar mlethargywasenvel opingher .She
all
owedher selft
odr iftashi sli
psspr eadf eather
l
ightkissesoverherf ace.
Chapt
er22

Rajivstoodbyt helongsli
dinggl
assdoor s,feeli
ng
thewar m breezeagainsthi
sheatedskin.I twasa
hotnightandhe’ dopenedthedoort hatledt othe
balcony,stari
ngwithunseeingeyesatt hef l
ickeri
ng
l
ightsbelow.Mayahadf all
enasleepimmedi atel
y
aft
erheror gasm, l
eavinghi
m hardandachi ng.
Desireragedt hroughhi m,rut
hl esslydemanding
rel
ease.He’ dt akenacol dshowert ocoolhisheated
fl
esh,butt hathadn’ tworked,sohe’ ddonewhathe
hadtodo—Swear ingexplici
tl
yt hroughtight
ly
groundt eeth,he’ dclosedhisf i
stroundhi sswol
len
shaftandwi t
hi nsecondshotj etsofsemenhad
swirl
eddownt heshowerdr ain,togetherwit
htheicy
water.He’df oundr eli
ef,
nopleasur ethathecould
recal
l,butatl easthi smindcoul dfuncti
onnow.

Hehadnoi ntent i
onofmaki nglovetoheragai n.
Maybehewasf ool i
nghi mself
,butperhapshehad
notcompl etelybr okenhervi r
gini
ty.Techni cal
ly,
she
mightstil
lbeavi rgi n.He’
dclimaxedwi thinseconds
ofenteri
ngt hatexcr uciat
ingti
ghtchannelofher s.
Raji
v’ssensesqui ckenedatt hememor y,buthe
suppressedi t
.Atl easthe’dmanagedt omakeher
come, gi
venherat asteofhowgoodi tcoul dbe.
God,howhe’ dlovet obet heonetointroducehert o
thepleasurest hatheknewherbodywascapabl eof.
He’dneverexpect edhert oclimaxsoeasi l
y,
especial
lyaf t
ert hepai nhe’dputherthr ough.But
shewassor esponsi ve!Herbodywasl i
keamusi cal
i
nst rumentbeneat hhishands, andshecoul dn’
t
cont rolit
, nomat terhowhar dshet ri
ed.Woul dshe
bel i
ket hatwi thanot herman?Wi thSanj ay?The
i
deawasl ikeakni f
et wisti
ngdeepi nhi sgut—her
bodyar ousedandwr ithi
ngbeneat hanot herman,
j
ustasi thadwr i
thedbeneat hhi m.Her akedhis
fingerst hr oughhi shai r,t
rembl ingwi t
hr age.Hehad
tolethergo.I twast heonl ywayt oredeem himself
and, besi des, hewassur eshewoul dnotwanta
repeatper formanceoft hedi sastrousexcusef or
l
ove- maki nghe’ dputhert hrough.ButIcoul dshow
herhowgoodi tcouldbe.Hesuckedai rt hr
oughhis
teeth.No!Hewoul dnotbeabl etoli
vewi thhimself
.
Besides, themor eshel i
kedit ,t
hemor echance
she’dbewant ingitfrom anot herman.Thekni f
e
twistedi nhi sgutagai n.

Amovementf rom t
hebedsenthi sheadj er
king
towardhersl
eepi
ngf orm.Hisbreathcaughtinhis
thr
oat.She’
dmovedont oherstomach, herri
ghtleg
benthighonthemattress,
theleftonelyi
ngst r
aight
andl ong,f
reefrom t
hecoversshoveddownt othe
bottom ofthebed,herbodycompletel
yexposedt o
him.Hi sgreedyeyesmoveddown, overthebare
curvesofherhi gh,
palebut
tockstothesilkyf
olds
ofherpearshapedf emini
necleft
,warm andmoi st
i
nt hesoftlight
.

Rajivfelthiswhol ebodyt rembleandbr eakouti n

sweat .Hesuckedai rintohisdesper atel ungs.She
wasi nadeepsl eep, exhaustedprobabl yf rom the
physicalandemot i
onalroll
ercoasterhe’ dputher
through.Buthewaswi deawake, hiser ect i
on
throbbingpainfully,unabletodraghi sgazef r
om
thatinviti
ngfemi ninef l
esh,unconsci ousl yexposed
tohishungr yeyes.

Lustsurgedthroughhisbodyi nwaves.Hisheart
waspoundi ng,buthehadt otakecont
rolofit
.He’d
promisedhimself.ButIcouldli
ewithher,maybe
eventouchherwhi leshesl
eeps.Hewoul dneverget
anotherchance.Sooni twouldbedayl
ightandthen
he’
dneverseeheragai
n.

Bef orehi sconscienceforcedhi mt ochangehi s

mi nd,hecl imbedsl owl
yont othebedbesi deher .He
stil
lhadhi sboxerson.Andyou’ llkeepthem on, he
toldhimsel fgr i
mly.Hetriedt ocont r
olhisbreathing,
buthi sl ungswer estar
vingf ormor eoxygen.Each
breathdeepandr agged,hesqueezedhi seyesshut ,
tryingt oeraset heimaget hathadbr oughthimt o
thebr inkofl osi
ngcont r
ol.Hi slungseasedj usta
l
ittl
e,buthi sbodywasst illcoveredinaf i
lm of
sweatandt herewasnot hinghecoul ddoabouti t.
Hehadt otouchher ,j
usttouchher .Herana
trembl ingfingeralongherspi ne.Herskinwasl i
ke
satin.

Hishanditchedtocuphersilkyroundedbackside.
God!Hewant edtocaressandsqueezet hosepale,
i
nvit
ingglobes.Hestif
ledagr oanandmovedhi s
handsidewaystoskim alongthecurveofherthigh
toherwaist,t
othesideofherbr east
,pr
essed
againstthemat t
ress.Hemovedi nal i
ttl
ecl oser,t
he
frontofhisbodybr ushingagai nsthersi de.Her
headwasf aci
ngawayf rom him andhepr essedhis
faceintohertumbled, sil
kyhair,breathingdeepl y.
Hesmel l
edjasmineandt hatuniquescentt hatwas
allhers.Hishandrestingonherl owerback, he
clenchedthemuscl esofhi sbut t
ocks, sot hathis
shaftpressedsoftl
yagai nstherhi p,andgr oundhis
teethtosuppresstheagoni zi
nggr oant hatr umbled
i
nhi schest.

Shesi ghedsof tl
yandadj ustedherposi ti
on,turni
ng
ontohersi de,pressingherbot t
om fullyagainsthim.
Rajivli
edeadst i
ll
,waitingforhertoawaken, buther
breathingwassof tanddeep.Sl owl
yheal l
owed
himselftor el
axagai nsther,al
mostsobbi nghi s
pleasure,asherbodyl eanedbackint ohis.He
caressedt heindentationofherwai stthenallowed
hishandt ospl ayagainstherflatstomach.

Shebr
eat
hedanot
herdeepsi
ghandwr
iggl
ed
her sel
fagai nsthim.Itwast oomuch.Heneededt o
getawaybef orehelostcont r ol.You’
renotgoing
anywher e,hisbodyt oldhim.You’ rej
ustholdingher.
Hi sbrainwasi nagreement ,soheal l
owedhi s
tremblinghandt ocar essherst omach, herhi
p, her
thigh,andbackupagai n.Sof t,
searchingcaresses,
memor izingthelong, curvi
ngshapeofhersensual ,
madef orl ovebody.Knowi nghewoul dneverf orget
thisnightasl ongashel ived.

Raji
v’
shandwasathermi dr
if
f,car
essi
ngthe
undersi
deofherbreastwhenshemumbl ed
somethingandpressedherbacksi
deint
ohisgr
oin
agai
n.Hegr oaned.

“
Raj
?”shebr
eat
hedsl
eepi
ly.

Hemovedhishandtoherhip.“
Shh.I
’mjustgonna
l
ieher
e.Gobacktosl
eep.”Hesoundedbreat
hless.
“
Wasn’
tsl
eepi
ng,
”shemumbl
ed.“
Justdozi
ng.
”

“Ij
ustwanttohol
dyou,
”hebr
eat
hed,
car
essi
ngher
hipl
ight
ly.

“Mmm. ”Shewri
ggl
edherbut
tocksagai
nandhe
caughthi
sbreat
h.

“Iwon’tdoanythi
ng,baby,
”hesaidsoft
ly,
knowing
shemustbef eeli
ngthehardbulgethr
oughhis
boxerspressi
ngintoher.“
Justhol
dyouwhi l
eyou
sleep.
”

“Why?
”Shesoundedmor
eawakenowandRaj
iv
cur
sedhi
mself
.

“
Whywhat
,baby?
”
Shear
chedherbackandci
rcl
edherhi
psagai
nst
hi
m.

“
Whywon’
tyoudoanyt
hing?
”

“
Maya,
please!
”Thewor
dswer
etor
nfr
om hi
m.

Sheturnedont
oherback,
cover
inghi
shandonher
bel
ly,

andst
aredathi
m wi
thheavy,
sensualeyes.“
Don’
t
youwanttomakel
ovetome?”

“
Yes.No!”Lustwascl
oudi
nghi
sbrai
nashet
ri
edt
o
makesenseofwhatshewassayi
ng.

“No?
”Sheli
ft
edherhandt
ocar
esshi
ssweat
dampenedf
ace.“
Whynot?”
Raji
vclosedhiseyes,revel
li
nginthesweett ouchof
herfi
ngersonhisskin.God,howwoul ditfeelto
havethosefi
ngersclosingaroundhisthrobbing
shaft
?Hiserecti
onjerked,buthedidn’
tlosecontrol
.

“Maya.”Hetri
edtokeephisvoicesteady.“
WhatI
didwaswr ong.Youmayst i
llbea
vi
rgi
n—t echni
call
y.Ican’
tmakelovetoyouagai
n,
knowinghowi nnocentyouare.
”

Shecl
osedhereyesandsi
ghedt
henopenedt
hem.
“Oh

Raj.
”Helovedthewaysheshort
enedhi
sname.
“You’
reso…”“Sowhat
?”I’
m notgonnal
iket
his.

Sheal
mostsmi
led.“
SoI
ndi
an.
”
“
Thatsoundsl
ikeani
nsul
t.
”

“No.Notatall
.It
’squitesweet,r
eall
y.”Shearched
hernakedbodyagai nsthi
m, hi
serectionpr
essing
againstherf
ir
m, f
latstomachnow.“ I
tmeansIwant
yout omakelovetome—pr operl
ythi
st i
me.”

Bloodr ushedf rom hisheadt ohi sgroin,empt yi

ng
hi
sbr ain.Hest r
uggledt or ecallwhyheshoul dnot
makel ovet oher ,butherf ingerswer einhi shair
now, pulli
nghi smout hdownt oher s.I
twas
i
mpossi bletoresist.Shewasi mpossi bl etoresist.
Hersof t,swollenmout hsuckedathi sbot tom li
p,
ni
bbl i
ngwi t
hhert eeth,teasinghi m!Alr eadyshe
wasl earningthepowerofherf emi ni
nesensual ity,
hercapaci tyforgivingandr eceivingpleasure.Once
again,angerr agedwi thlusti nsidehim.Shecoul d
beever ythingamanwant edinawoman.Andone
dayshewoul dbe.Wi thoutadoubtshewoul dbe.
Butitwon’ tbeme.
Raji
vf el
thiscont
rolsnap.Hesankhisf
ingersi
nto
herhair,t
wist
ingandpulli
ngherheadbackinto
posi
tionforhispunishi
ngkiss.

*
**

Mayaf eltashi veroft repidati

onathi sdemandi ng,
possessivemout h, bruisi
ngherl i
ps.Butshe’ d
askedfort hi
s, especi all
ywhenhe’ dt ri
edt odeny
herwhatshesodesper atel
ywant ed—hi m.Hisl ips
soft
ened, histongueci rcli
nghermout h,before
dart
inginandout , givingherat asteofwhatwast o
come.Pr essingdownont oher,heavyandhar d, he
easedherl egsapar t,cradli
nghimsel fbetweenher
thi
ghs.Hest i
llhadhi sboxershor tsonandshe
couldfeelhiser ectionr ubbingagai nsthermoi st
corethrought het hincot ton.Thatscar y,sweet
sensati
onbeganbui l
dingupi nsideher ,andshe
moanedhi sname.

Mayacoul
dtel
lhewasundert
remendousst
rai
n,hi
s
bodysl i
ckwi t
hsweat , hisheartpoundi ngagai nst
herbreast.Yethemovedsl owly, del
iberately,
savouringeachki ss,eachcar ess.Hi shandst roked
thensqueezedherbr east ,
pushi ngtheni pple
upwar d,coveri
ngi twithhismout handsucki ng
hard.Shej er
kedi ntohim andbegant oshake.Once
again,thepleasuredar tedstraighttohercor e,her
bodyar chingatthemel ti
ngheatbet weenherl egs.
Hewasatherot herbreastnow, suckli
nggr eedi ly.
Maya’sbr eathwascomi nginshor tgasps, herbody
writ
hingbeneat hhi m asheri nsidestwistedt ight er
andt i
ghteruntilshefeltshemi ghtcombust .

Her anhishandl i
ght lydownoverherst omacht o
theapexofhert highs, st
rokingandsear ching
betweenthesl ickf oldsoff l
esh.Shewaswet ,but
herembar rassmentdi ssipatedathi sgroanof
deli
ght.Hisexper tf i
ngersslidal onghermoi stened
clef
tandt henf oundherswol l
ennubbi n.Mayal et
outalongmoan, circli
ngherhi ps, mirr
oringhi s
movement s.Shecar essedhi staut,muscl edback,
dampwi thsweat ,unt i
lshereachedt heelasticof
hi
sshor t
sandslidherhandsi nsi
de,diggingher
nail
sintohi
ssmoot h,
fir
m buttocks.Raj i
vexpell
eda
str
angledgr
oan,makingherf eelbolder.Shehooked
herthumbsintotheel
asticedge,pushingt hem over
anddownwar d.

Helif
tedhiships.“ Hel
pmeher e,baby,”hechoked,
andshegr i
ppedt hef r
ontoftheboxers,sli
ding
them downoverhi sswol l
enshaft.I
mmedi atel
yhe
sankbackbet weenherpar tedl
egs,gritt
inghisteet
h
whenhi sheavygr oinrest
edagainstherwet ,
welcomingflesh.

Mayasl idherhipsbackandf orth,pleasure

explodi
ngashi sbold,smoot hshaf tsl
idagainsther
drenchedheat .Shet oowast remblingnow, butnot
j
ustwi thpleasure.She’dforgott
enhowbi ghewas
andt r
epidati
onwasedgi ngintoherdesi re.He
pull
edbacksl ightl
y,positi
oningt heswol l
enheadof
hismemberatherent r
ance.
“Openyoureyes,
”hegr
oaned,hi
sar
msbr acedon
eit
hersi
deofher,andt
henslowl
ypushedhimsel
f
i
nsideher.“
Lookatme,baby.
”

Mayadr ownedi nthosedar k,

glit
teri
ngeyes,
suckingi ngaspsofai r.I
twasnotaspai nfulas
beforeandshet ri
edtor el
axhermuscl es, butashe
thr
ust, againshehear dherselfcryoutatt hesense
ofinvasion,nerveendingspr otestedinpai nashe
str
etchedherr aw, sensiti
zedentrance, herinner
muscl estight
eningt opreventhisalieni nvasion.

“Rel
ax,baby,
”hegasped,hi
sfacedr
ippi
ngwi
th
sweat.“
SweetJesus,r
elax!
”

Het hrustagainstherprotest
ingmuscl es, t
hen
recoil
edandt hrustevendeeper ,untilcompl et
ely
buriedinsideher.Differ
entsensationsbegant o
buil
d.Hekeptst i
llf
oramoment ,allowingherbody
tostretchandt hentightenaroundhi spul singshaft
.
Mayamoanedandci rcl
edherhipssl owl y,
experiment al
ly.Wavesofhotsweetnessbuiltinside
her,threateni
ngt oover
powerher.Heretreatedand
thent hrustdeeplyi
ntoheragai
n,slowlyatfi
r stthen
picki
ngupspeed.I twastoomuch.Shef earedwas
goingt oexplode.Shepushedagainsthisshoul ders,
tryi
ngt ogetaway, butheheldherdown,thrusting
i
nandt henoutasshet hr
ewherheadbackand
sobbed.

“Don’tf
ighti
t,baby,
”hesoot
hed.“
Wrapyourl
egs
aroundme. ”

Butshecoul dn’t
.Itwasi mpossibl
et odoanyt
hing
excepttrytofi
ghtt heti
dalwavet hatwas
thr
eateningtodr ownher .Raji
vgrippedher
squirmingbuttocksandl if
tedherupagainsthim.
Shecr i
edoutashebur iedhimselfevendeeper,
gri
ndingintoher, whil
ehispelvisrockedandrubbed
againsthercli
toris.

Shegaveashudder
ingmoanast
hepower
fulheat
ofhi mf il
ledandconsumedher ,causi
nghert ocry
outinpl easurablepai n.Ti
mest oodstill
,thewor l
d
shrinkingar oundt hem.Finallyhemoved, r
oll
inghis
hips,sendi ngsensat i
onsr ocketi
ngthroughher ,
thent hrustingagai n,
andagai n,eachti
mest r
onger
andhar deruntilshef el
tshewoul dburstfrom her
skinanddi e.

Theor gasm t
hatrocketedt hroughherwaslikea
ki
ndofdeat h,eachshudder i
ngspasm ofpleasure
expl
odi ngandexpandingt hroughher.Thenthe
fl
oodingliqui
dheatasRaj ivj oi
nedher,t
hrowing
backhi sheadandreleasingast rangl
edgroan, hi
s
wholebodyar ched,andconvul sedinapower ful
cl
imaxbef oreheslumpedweakl yintoherwaiti
ng
arms.

Mayawasmi ndl
ess,awashwi thlushsensat i
on.
Shehadsur vi
ved,notonl
ysur vi
ved, butshecould
sti
llf
eell
it
tl
eexplosionsofsweet, painf
ulpleasur
e
darti
ngthr
oughher .Shefel
ttearsleakingfrom her
eyesasasmal lsobint
err
uptedherr agged
breat
hing.Neveri
nherwildestdreamshadshe
i
magi nedsomethingsopowerful,bindingthem
toget
herinacocoonofintenseintimacy.

Hewaskissi
nghernow,tasti
nghertears.“Maya,
whyar
eyoucr yi
ng?”hi
svoicehoar
se, gaspingfor
br
eat
h.“DidIhur
tyou?”

Shetr
iedtoshakeherheadbutshewastooweakto
move.“No.I
twasjusttoomuch,”shewhi
sper
ed.“
I
don’
tknowhowIsur vi
ved.
”

Heburi
edhisfaceinherhai
r.“Iknow,”he
murmured,
hisbreathwarm againstcheek.
Chapt
er23

Mayacl i
mbedsil
entl
yfrom t
hebed,
li
stening
caref
ull
yforanychangeinRaji
v’
sdeepslumber
ous
breat
hing.
AnI ndiancot t
onshi rtwasl yingont hecarved,
woodenchestatt hebot t
om oft hebed.She
reachedf orit,shruggi ngthesof tfabricontoher
sli
m shoul ders.Ithungdownt omi d- t
highonher .
Shebut tonedi tup,br eathi
ngi nthecl ean,soapy
smel lunderli
nedbyhi sunique, mascul i
nescent ,
enjoyingthesensat ionofhi scl othingagai nsther
nakedski n.Thedoorwassl ightlyaj arandshe
ti
ptoedt owar ditwithaqui ckgl ancebackathi s
sleepingform bef orel eavi
ngt heroom.Hel ooked
quitebeaut i
fulstretchedoutacr osst hebed, the
darkgol denski nofhi snakedbackcont rastingwit
h
hissabl etousledhai r.

Memor i
esoft henightbeforecausedherski nto
pri
ckle,heatfloodi
ngt hroughhervei ns.Afterthat
earthshat t
eri
ngorgasm, t
heyhadl ayent angled
together,ki
ssingforwhatseemedl ikehour s,
caressingandf amili
arisi
ngthemsel veswi t
heach
other’
sbodi es.She’dlovedthefreedom ofbei ng
abletot ouchandst rokehishard,muscl edbody,
cover edbyhi ssat insmoot hski n.Shesavor edt he
powershehadt ogi vehi m pl easure, drivinghimt o
theedge.Fasci nat edbyt hebol dt hrustofhi s
arousal ,shehadf oundt hecour aget ot ouchand
strokehi m, allowinghi mt oshowherj ustwhathe
neededf rom her .Herwant onnesshadsur pr
ised
hersel faswel lashi m.She’ dwant edt ot akehimi n
hermout h, buthe’ dst oppedher .Hisol df ashioned
valuesget t
ingi nt heway, ashet ol
dhershewast oo
newt othis, movi ngt oof ast .Shewast oosor eand
tenderf orthem t ohavesexagai n, buthe’ dpleased
herwi thhi shands, hi
smout h,hisbody, makingher
cli
maxoverandoveragai n.Heseemedf ascinat ed
byt hef i
ne, dar kredhai rcover ingherf emi ni
nity,
feast i
ngoni tunt i
lherbodyf el
tlikeavessel of
ecstasy, notabl etot hink, orcomedownt oear th,
befor ehef oundsomeot herwayofdr owni ngheri n
newsensat ions, l
eavi nghermi ndlessand
over dosedonpl easur e.

Shemanagedtogi
vehi
m somerel
iefaswell
.He
wasi
nsati
abl
e,per
manent
lyar
oused.Alt
houghhe
woul dn’tal
lowhert ogodownonhi m, sheusedher
handsandherbodyt otakehi m overtheedge, even
thoughhekeptt ell
inghershedi dn’
tneedt o,t
hat
tonightwasal labouther .Butshewant edt ogive
him pleasure,l
ovedseei nghiml osecont rol,
groaningandbur yi
nghisf aceinherhai rasshe
strokedandcar essedhim unt i
lhewasweak,
tremblingandgr oaninginherar ms,spi lli
nghi s
seedoverherl owerst omachandt highs.

Ther ewer esli

ver soflightpeeki ngt hrought he
curtains,sosheknewi tmustbeear l
ymor ning,ver
y
early,asthesunr osear oundfiveo’ clockatt hi
s
ti
meofyear .Itwasqui teeasyt of indt heli
ving
room, eveni fshehadn’ treall
ynot i
cedwher ehe
wast akinghert henightbef ore.Theapar tmentwas
big,probablyt hreeorf ourbedr ooms, sheguessed
asshest eppedi nt ot
hebr i
ghtnessoft heliving
room wi thit
swhi tewallsandl ong, palesofas,set
aroundal ar
ge, woodencof f
eet able.Moder n
artwor kandscul ptur
esaddedt ot hesl eeklinesand
createdbeaut ifulfocalpoi nt
st hatimmedi ately
caughtherartisti
ceye.Theopenpl ankitchenwas
toherright
,separ at
edbyalongmar bl
et opped
counterwit
hf ourstool
s,andatthef arendoft he
room wasadi ningtabl
ewi t
hseatingf oraboutten
people.Heobvi ousl
yenter
tainedhereaswel l
.She
forcedhermindbackt omor epressingmat ters.

Wher
ewasherbag?

Hereyessweptt her oom, fi

nall
ysettlingonherbag
l
yingononeoft hecr eam couches.Sheneededt o
checkhermessagesandt hencallthet r
ainstati
on.
Therewasonet extf rom Jay,wishi
ngherasaf etrip
andaskinghert ot exthim whenshear ri
ved.She
hatedlyi
ng, buthitthereplybuttonandsenthi ma
messagesayi ngshe’ dar ri
vedsafelyandwoul dtext
himlateri
nt heday.Shesawacor dlessl andli
neon
aside-t
ableanddeci dedRaj i
vwoul dn’ tmindifshe
usedittofindoutabouthert rai
n.Di alli
ngDi r
ectory
Enquiri
es,sheobt ainedt henumberf orInformation
atKingsCr ossStat i
ont hencall
edt hem andasked
whent
het
rai
ntoEdi
nbur
ghwoul
dbel
eavi
ng.

“Thetr
ainf r
om LondontoEdinburgh’
sWaverly
Stat
ionwillnowbeleavi
ngKingsCr ossat10am
thi
smor ning,
”afemalevoi
cei nfor
medher,and
Mayat hankedherbefor
equietlyhangi
ngupthe
phone.

Shegl
ancedupatasl eek,si
lvercl
ockont
hewall.
Tenminutespastf
ive,al
mostf i
vehour
sbefor
ethe
tr
ainl
eft
.

“
Planni
ngonr
unni
ngoutonme?
”

Mayaal mostjumpedoutofherskinatthesoundof
thatcoolvoicebehindherand,wi
thaninwar d
groan,turnedhertr
embl i
ngli
mbsroundt ofacehi
m.
Hewasst andi
ngatt hedoor
way,naked,his
expressionunreadable.
“No,ofcoursenot
,”shemanagedtosay,r
unning
hersweatypalmsalongthesi
desofthecott
onshirt
.
“Iwasjustchecki
ngtoseewhenthetrai
nleaves.
”

Hecrossedhisar ms,l
eaningoneshoulderagainst
thedoorj
amb, andMayahadt ofor
ceher sel
fnotto
l
ookbelowhi swaist.I
twasr i
dicul
ous,reall
y,af
ter
whattheyhadshar edthenightbefor
e,butshef el
t
embarrassedandawkwar d,whilehewasobvi ously
quit
eateasewi thhisnakedness.

“
Sowhatt
imedoesi
tleave?
”

“
Teno’
cl
ockt
hismor
ning.
”

Hiseyesdroppedtoherl
egsassheshi
ft
edf
rom
onebarefoottoanot
her.

Af
teral
ltheheatandpassi
onofl
astni
ght
,the
atmospher
esuddenlyf
il
ledwit
htensi
on.His
hoodedgazet
ravel
ledupwardtomeethereyes.

“
Weneedt
otal
k,
”

“
Please,
Raj
iv,
dowehavet
ohaveapost
-mor
tem.
?”

“You’
reapuzzl
e,Maya,
andIdon’
tparti
cul
arl
yli
ke
puzzl
es.Il
iket
oknowwhatI’
m deal
ingwit
h.”

“Deal
ingwit
h?”Shefr
oze.“
Isthathowyouseeme?
Somet hi
ngyouhavetodealwit
h?”

Hestrai
ght
enedup,leani
ngonehandagai
nstthe
door
jambandrubbingthebackofhi
sneck.“
There’
s
somethi
ngIhavetoknow.”

Mayacr
ossedherar
msi
nadef
ensi
vest
ance.I
t
l
ookedl
ikehewasdet
ermi
nedt
ohaveapost
-
mort
em.“What
?”

“
Wer
eyousavi
ngyour
sel
f—f
orSanj
ay?
”

Itt
ookMayaamomentt ograsphisquest
ion.Then
shewantedt
olaugh,
butknewt hatwoul
dinfuri
ate
him.Shedi
dn’
twanthim angr
y.

Theyonl
yhadaf ewhour sleftandshewantedhi
m
car
ingandpassionate,sweetandgentl
e.Theway
hehadbeenlastnight.

“
No,Raj
iv,
Iwasnotsavi
ngmyselff
oranyone.Why
woul
dyouthi
nkIwassavingmysel
fforSanj
ay?”

“
Yout
oldmeyouwer
eont
hepi
ll
.”
“
So?
”

“
Areyouont
hepi
ll
?”

“
Yes,
ofcour
seIam.Whywoul
dIl
ie?
”

“
Ther
ear
ewomenwhol
ieaboutt
hingsl
iket
hat
.”

Onceagain,itt
ookMayaamomentt ogethis
meaning.“Youthi
nkIwastryi
ngtotri
ckyou?Tr
ap
youint
oget t
ingmepregnant!
”Herchestr
oseand
fel
linf
ury.

“Act
uall
y,no,t
hatwasn’
tmyassumpt
ion,
”he
answeredsoft
lyandMayat
ookafewslowbreat
hs
tocal
m hersel
f.

“
Wel
lthen,
pleasedot
ell
.Whatwasyour
assumpt
ion?
”

“ThatyouandSanj
aywer eplanni
ngonmar ri
age,or
atleastt
aki
ngyourr
elati
onshiptothenextl
evel
.”
Mayawasl ostf
orwords.

Therewasal ongsi
lence.Hewaswai t
ingforan
answer,butMayarefusedtodignif
yhisassumpt i
on
wit
hananswer .Hewasget ti
ngangr yathersil
ence.
Hiseyesboredint
oher s,
butstil
lshesaidnothi
ng.

“
Other
wisewhywer
eyouont
hepi
ll
?”

Mayamoi st
enedherli
ps.“Ihavepai
nful
,i
rr
egul
ar
per
iods,
thepil
lreal
lyhel
ps.”

Hel ookedawayanditgaveherchildi
shpleasur
eto
seeaf lushonhisper
fectcheekbones.“
Inever
thoughtofthat
.”
“Yes,
wel
l,
wewomendon’ thavei
taseasyasmen.
”
Nowshesoundedpet
ty.

Hi
seyesweresearchi
ngher
sagai
n.“
It’
sstr
ange
t
hatyou’
veneverbeenwi
thamanbefor
e.”

Mayafel
tlikesl
appi
nghi
m.Hejustwasn’
tgoi
ngt
o
l
eti
tgo.Likeadogwithabone.

“Well
,I
’m sorr
yyouf i
ndi tstr
ange,butthat’
st he
wayitis.
”Shewasn’ tgoingtogointodet ai
labout
herpastexperi
ences,ornon-experi
ences, wit
hmen
andespecial
lythefactthathewast hef i
rstman
she’
dmett hatshe’
dwant edtohavesexwi t
h.His
egowaspr obablyi
nflat
edenoughasi twas.

“
Whyme,
Maya?
”
Heseemedr eal
lymysti
fi
ed,confused, andperhaps
i
fhismot herwasn’toutt
herelookingforasui table
Indi
anwifeforhim, i
fhewasn’tplanningonget ti
ng
marri
ed,shemi ghthavebeenmor eforthcoming
aboutherinnocenceandherirresist
ibl
eat tr
action
towardhi
m, butwhatwast hepoi nt?

“Raj,whathappenedlastnight,
happened.”Her
voicesoft
enedasshet ri
edt oreasonwithhim.“It
wasspeci al
—forme,anyway, butit
’sovernow.I
havet ogobacktoEdinburghandyou—youhave
yourfutur
eplanstogetonwi t
h.”Shedrewabr eath.
“Can’twejustl
eaveitatthatandatleastpartas
fri
ends?”

“Fri
ends!”Herwor dsweremeanttosoot
hthe
sit
uation,buttheyseemedtoi
nfuri
atehi
m even
mor e.“Af
terlastni
ghtyouwanttobemyf r
iend?
”

“Raji
v.”Shewasget
ti
ngangryagai
nandsher eal
ly
didn’
twantthat
.“We’
llpr
obabl
yneverseeeach
otheragain.Whathappenedlastnightwas
wonder f
ul.I
’l
lneverf
orgeti
t—oryou, butit
’sover
and,ifyoudon’twanttopar
tasf r
iends,let
’satleast
l
eavei tamicabl
e.”

“
God,
you’
reacoolone,
aren’
tyou?
”

Itseemedthatnomat t
erwhatshesaidi
twasthe
wrongthi
ng.Bettert
hatshedidn’
tsayanyt
hingat
all
.

“Whowouldhaveknownyouwer eavir
ginj
usta
fewhour
sago.”Hiseyest
ravel
leddownherbodyin
anal
mostinsul
ti
ngmannerandheshookhi shead.
“Sof
ucki
ngblasé.
”

Mayawasspeechl
ess,
notonlybythei
nsolenceof
hi
swords,
butshehadneverbefor
eheardhim
swear
.Andhewassweari
ngather !
“Sowhatdoyousuggest ?”Herhear t-ratehadsped
upwi thherbr eathi
ng.Asmuchasshet ri
edto
controlherself,shewasnowf ur
iouswi ththeway
hewast r
eatingher ,
especial
lyafterallthecar i
ng
tendernesshe’ dshownherl astnight.“Woul dyou
l
ikemet ostayonandbecomeanot heroneofyour
manymi str
esses?Whi leyourmot herr unsar ound
Indi
asear chingf orasweet,suit
ablebr ideforyou?”

Raji
v’
smovedinabl urofspeed.Befor
esheknew
whatwashappening,hehadpinnedhertothewal
l
behi
nd,hi
shandshol di
ngherwr i
stshi
ghaboveher
headinabrui
singgri
p.

“Whatdoyouknowaboutmymi st
resses?
”His
voi
cewassoftbuthisbr
eat
hingbetr
ayedthef
ury
hewasfeel
ing.“
Tellme,
goddammit!”

“Whatdif
fer
encedoesitmake?”shegul
ped,
shockedbyhowqui ckl
ythi
ngshadtur
nedvi
cious.
“I
t’
sthetrut
hisn’
tit
?”
“Foryouri
nformati
on,Maya,
”hebr eat
hedagainst
hercheekandleanedthehardlengthofhisbody
i
nt oher
s.“
Ihaven’tt
ouchedanotherwomansi nce
thedayIpickedyouupfrom t
hatdamnt rain
stati
on.
”

Mayacouldfeelheatburni
ngt hr
ought hethi
n
cott
onfabri
c.Asshestruggledfuti
lel
yt ot
wistaway
fr
om hi
m, t
hestir
ringbul
geofhi sarousalbecame
evi
dentthr
oughthegapingsl i
toftheshirt
.

“Damnyou, ”heswor eashisbodybet r

ayedhim,
growing,andlengtheningagai
nsthersoftski
n,and
Mayaf el
tthatalltoofamil
iarweaknessseepi
ng
throughherthighs.

Butshefoughtagainsti
t.“
Letmego, Raj
iv.
”Her
voicesoundedhuskyandbr eat
hless,
andhisgaze
droppedtohermout h.
Hisbodywasheavy, pressingherbackagainstt
he
wall,
leaningintoeveryi nchofher.Theshirtwas
pull
eduphi ghabovehert hi
ghsbyherar ms,whi
ch
hecont i
nuedt ohol dpainfull
yti
ghtaboveherhead.
Inthesuddensi lence,hegr oundhisswelli
ng
arousalintoher,justaboveherpubi cbone.

“Ican’
t,
”hesaid,suddenl
youtofbr
eat
h.“
Iwi
shI
could,
butIcan’thel
pmyself.
”

Histonguebegant easingherearandshef elther

bodybreakouti nawaveofheat ,
everynerve
suddenlyonhighaler t,
li
keadrugaddictreadyfor
thenextfi
x.Hecont inuedtorotat
ehiships,moving
downt othenakedj uncturebet
weenhert hi
ghsand
fi
ndinghermoi stcl
ef twit
hhisshaft
.Mayal egs
wobbled,heatpooli
ngbet weenherthighsand,
acknowledgingthathehadwon, Raj
ivloosenedher
wrist
sandr anhishandsdownherbodyt othehem
oftheshirt
.
“See,you’r
enotqui t
ereadytoleavemej ustyet
,ar
e
you,baby?”hewhi speredagainstherhai
r,and
muchasshewant edtofeeloutragedbyhis
arrogance,herbodysimplydidn’tseem t
ocare.

Hiserecti
onwor ki
ngi
nsist
entl
yagainstthewet
heatatthejunct
ureofherthi
ghswassucki ngher
under,t
othatplacewherethoughtwasimpossibl
e,
andthecravingneedsofherbodyovertook
ever
ythingelse.

Whenhi shandsgri
ppedherbut
tocksandpr
essed
herupagainsthi
m,sheknewtherewasnohopeleft
forher
.

“God,youfeelgood,
”hemutter
edhoarsel
y,hi
steet
h
bit
ingint
oherneck,gui
dingherhanddownbetween
them.“Sogood.”
Hismanhoodwashotandheavyi nherpalm, sli
ck
wit
hthejui
cesofherdesire,
andheshudder edas
herfi
nger
sclosedaroundhisthrobbingfl
esh.
Squeezi
ngandstrokingfr
om thebaset ot
het ip,
j
ustthewayhe’dshownherdur i
ngt hehoursof
mindl
esspassionthey’
dsharedthroughoutthe
ni
ght.

“
SweetJesus,Maya,
”hehissedthroughgr
it
ted
t
eet
h.Thrust
inghi
shipsagainstherstr
oki
nghand.
“
Whatareyoudoingtome? ”

Shel i
ft
edheavylidstol ookintohisglazedeyes,
wonder i
ngifheexpect edhert oanswerhi m.
Insteadhecoveredhermout hwi t
hhis,closi
nghis
handar oundherthroat,holdi
ngherst i
llwhil
ehe
slantedhisheadanddeepenedt hesensual
onslaughtofhermout h, cont
inui
ngtot hrusthi
s
hipsagainstherenvelopinghand.

Maya’
sbackar
chedawayf
rom t
hewal
l,
gui
dingt
he
swoll
enheadofhi
ssext or
ubagai
nsthersl
ick
vul
vawit
heachthrustofhi
shi
ps.

“God,Raj
.”Pur
e,achi
ngl
ustwasdrenchingher
bodyfrom t
heinsi
deout
,dr
ivi
nghertotheedgeof
anorgasm.

“No,IwantyoutocomewhenI’
mi nsideyou,
”he
choked,t
eari
nghertor
menti
nghandawayand
runni
ngtheundersi
deofhi
sshaftfl
ushagainsther
i
nviti
ngfl
esh,al
mostpushi
ngherovertheedge.

Suddenl
yhemovedawayandshecr i
edoutin
fr
ustr
ati
on,buthecuppedherbott
om andli
ft
edher
offt
hefl
oor ,
for
cinghert
ospreadherthi
ghsand
wrapherlegsaroundhi
swaist.

“Forpi
ty’
ssake,Maya.”Heshovedherhandbackt
o
hisswoll
enerect
ion.“
Doit.Now!”
Sheguidedhi mt ohertendercore,shockedathow
muchshehadl earnedinsol i
tt
leti
me, andt hen
thoughtbecamei mpossi bl
eashet hrust
aggressivel
yintoher,groani
ngashersensi ti
zed
i
nnermuscl estightenedaroundhim.Hi sfingers
dugalmostpai nfull
yint
ot hesoftf
leshofher
bottom ashepl ungeddeeperandhar der,her
sobbingmoansdr i
vinghim wil
d.

Shef el
therselfsuckedintot hatwhi rlpoolof
sensat ion,deeperanddeeper ,untiltheexplosion
grippedherandpul ledherunder ,herbody
convul singandspasmi ngar oundhi sexpl oding
peni s,hotjetsofli
quidspur t
ingdeepi nsi
deher .His
hipskeptt hrusti
ngintoher .Event houghhe’ d
cli
maxed, heseemedunabl et ostop, hissemen
seepi ngoutmoi standsl i
ckagai nsther
thighs.Mayacl imbedsilentlyfrom t hebed, l
istening
car eful
lyforanychangei nRaj i
v’sdeepsl umber ous
breat hi
ng.
AnI ndiancot t
onshi rtwasl yingont hecarved,
woodenchestatt hebot t
om oft hebed.She
reachedf orit,shruggi ngthesof tfabricontoher
sli
m shoul ders.Ithungdownt omi d- t
highonher .
Shebut tonedi tup,br eathi
ngi nthecl ean,soapy
smel lunderli
nedbyhi sunique, mascul i
nescent ,
enjoyingthesensat ionofhi scl othingagai nsther
nakedski n.Thedoorwassl ightlyaj arandshe
ti
ptoedt owar ditwithaqui ckgl ancebackathi s
sleepingform bef orel eavi
ngt heroom.Hel ooked
quitebeaut i
fulstretchedoutacr osst hebed, the
darkgol denski nofhi snakedbackcont rastingwit
h
hissabl etousledhai r.

Memor i
esoft henightbeforecausedherski nto
pri
ckle,heatfloodi
ngt hroughhervei ns.Afterthat
earthshat t
eri
ngorgasm, t
heyhadl ayent angled
together,ki
ssingforwhatseemedl ikehour s,
caressingandf amili
arisi
ngthemsel veswi t
heach
other’
sbodi es.She’dlovedthefreedom ofbei ng
abletot ouchandst rokehishard,muscl edbody,
coveredbyhi ssatinsmoot hskin.Shesavor edthe
powershehadt ogi vehi m pl easure, drivinghimt o
theedge.Fasci nat edbyt hebol dt hrustofhi s
arousal ,shehadf oundt hecour aget ot ouchand
strokehi m, allowinghi mt oshowherj ustwhathe
neededf rom her .Herwant onnesshadsur pr
ised
herselfaswel lashi m.She’ dwant edt ot akehimi n
hermout h, buthe’ dst oppedher .Hisol df ashioned
valuesget t
ingi nt heway, ashet ol
dhershewast oo
newt othis, movi ngt oof ast .Shewast oosor eand
tenderf orthem t ohavesexagai n, buthe’ dpleased
herwi thhi shands, hi
smout h,hisbody, makingher
cli
maxoverandoveragai n.Heseemedf ascinat ed
byt hef i
ne, dar kredhai rcover ingherf emi ni
nity,
feast i
ngoni tunt i
lherbodyf el
tlikeavessel of
ecstasy, notabl etot hink, orcomedownt oear th,
befor ehef oundsomeot herwayofdr owni ngheri n
newsensat ions, l
eavi nghermi ndlessand
over dosedonpl easur e.

Shemanagedtogi
vehim somerel
iefaswell
.He
wasi
nsati
able,
per
manentlyar
oused.Alt
houghhe
woul
dn’
tall
owhertogodownonhi m,sheusedher
handsandherbodyt otakehi m overtheedge, even
thoughhekeptt ell
inghershedi dn’
tneedt o,t
hat
tonightwasallabouther .Butshewant edt ogive
him pleasur
e,l
ovedseei nghiml osecont rol,
groaningandbur yi
nghisf aceinherhai rasshe
strokedandcaressedhim unt i
lhewasweak,
tremblingandgroaninginherar ms,spilli
nghi s
seedoverherlowerst omachandt highs.

Ther ewer esli

ver soflightpeeki ngt hrought he
curtains,sosheknewi tmustbeear l
ymor ning,ver
y
early,asthesunr osear oundfiveo’ clockatt hi
s
ti
meofyear .Itwasqui teeasyt of indt heli
ving
room, eveni fshehadn’ treall
ynot i
cedwher ehe
wast akinghert henightbef ore.Theapar tmentwas
big,probablyt hreeorf ourbedr ooms, sheguessed
asshest eppedi nt ot
hebr i
ghtnessoft heliving
room wi thit
swhi tewallsandl ong, palesofas,set
aroundal ar
ge, woodencof f
eet able.Moder n
artwor kandscul ptur
esaddedt ot hesl eeklinesand
createdbeaut ifulfocalpoi nt
st hatimmedi ately
caughtherar t
isticeye.Theopenpl ankitchenwas
toherright
,separat
edbyalongmar bletopped
counterwit
hf ourst
ool
s,andatthefarendoft he
room wasadi ningt
abl
ewi t
hseatingforaboutten
people.Heobviousl
yenter
tainedhereaswel l
.She
forcedhermindbacktomor epressi
ngmat ters.

Wher
ewasherbag?

Hereyessweptt her oom, fi

nall
ysettlingonherbag
l
yingononeoft hecr eam couches.Sheneededt o
checkhermessagesandt hencallthet r
ainstati
on.
Therewasonet extf rom Jay,wishi
ngherasaf etrip
andaskinghert ot exthim whenshear ri
ved.She
hatedlyi
ng, buthitthereplybuttonandsenthi ma
messagesayi ngshe’ dar ri
vedsafelyandwoul dtext
himlateri
nt heday.Shesawacor dlessl andli
neon
aside-t
ableanddeci dedRaj i
vwoul dn’ tmindifshe
usedittofindoutabouthert rai
n.Di alli
ngDi r
ectory
Enquiri
es,sheobt ainedt henumberf orInformation
atKingsCr ossStat i
ont hencall
edt hem andasked
whent hetraintoEdi nburghwoul dbel eavi
ng.
“Thetr
ainf r
om LondontoEdinburgh’
sWaverly
Stat
ionwillnowbeleavi
ngKingsCr ossat10am
thi
smor ning,
”afemalevoi
cei nfor
medher,and
Mayat hankedherbefor
equietlyhangi
ngupthe
phone.

Shegl
ancedupatasl eek,si
lvercl
ockont
hewall.
Tenminutespastf
ive,al
mostf i
vehour
sbefor
ethe
tr
ainl
eft
.

“
Planni
ngonr
unni
ngoutonme?
”

Mayaal mostjumpedoutofherskinatthesoundof
thatcoolvoicebehindherand,wi
thaninwar d
groan,turnedhertr
embl i
ngli
mbsroundt ofacehi
m.
Hewasst andi
ngatt hedoor
way,naked,his
expressionunreadable.

“
No,
ofcour
senot
,”shemanagedt
osay,
runni
ng
hersweat
ypalmsalongthesi
desoft
hecott
onshirt
.
“Iwasj
ustchecki
ngtoseewhenthet
rai
nleaves.
”

Hecrossedhisar ms,l
eaningoneshoulderagainst
thedoorj
amb, andMayahadt ofor
ceher sel
fnotto
l
ookbelowhi swaist.I
twasr i
dicul
ous,reall
y,af
ter
whattheyhadshar edthenightbefor
e,butshef el
t
embarrassedandawkwar d,whilehewasobvi ously
quit
eateasewi thhisnakedness.

“
Sowhatt
imedoesi
tleave?
”

“
Teno’
cl
ockt
hismor
ning.
”

Hiseyesdroppedtoherl
egsassheshi
ft
edf
rom
onebarefoottoanot
her.

Af
teral
ltheheatandpassi
onofl
astnight
,the
at
mospheresuddenlyf
il
ledwi
tht
ension.Hi
s
hoodedgazet
ravel
ledupwar
dtomeethereyes.

“
Weneedt
otal
k,
”

“
Please,
Raj
iv,
dowehavet
ohaveapost
-mor
tem.
?”

“You’
reapuzzl
e,Maya,
andIdon’
tparti
cul
arl
yli
ke
puzzl
es.Il
iket
oknowwhatI’
m deal
ingwit
h.”

“Deal
ingwit
h?”Shefr
oze.“
Isthathowyouseeme?
Somet hi
ngyouhavetodealwit
h?”

Hestrai
ght
enedup,leani
ngonehandagai
nstthe
door
jambandrubbingthebackofhi
sneck.“
There’
s
somethi
ngIhavetoknow.”

Mayacr
ossedherar
msi nadef
ensi
vest
ance.It
l
ookedl
ikehewasdeter
minedt
ohaveapost-
mor
tem.“
What
?”

“
Wer
eyousavi
ngyour
sel
f—f
orSanj
ay?
”

Itt
ookMayaamomentt ograsphisquest
ion.Then
shewantedt
olaugh,
butknewt hatwoul
dinfuri
ate
him.Shedi
dn’
twanthim angr
y.

Theyonl
yhadaf ewhour sleftandshewantedhi
m
car
ingandpassionate,sweetandgentl
e.Theway
hehadbeenlastnight.

“
No,Raj
iv,
Iwasnotsavi
ngmyselff
oranyone.Why
woul
dyouthi
nkIwassavingmysel
fforSanj
ay?”

“
Yout
oldmeyouwer
eont
hepi
ll
.”

“
So?
”
“
Areyouont
hepi
ll
?”

“
Yes,
ofcour
seIam.Whywoul
dIl
ie?
”

“
Ther
ear
ewomenwhol
ieaboutt
hingsl
iket
hat
.”

Onceagain,itt
ookMayaamomentt ogethis
meaning.“Youthi
nkIwastryi
ngtotri
ckyou?Tr
ap
youint
oget t
ingmepregnant!
”Herchestr
oseand
fel
linf
ury.

“Act
uall
y,no,t
hatwasn’
tmyassumpt
ion,
”he
answeredsoft
lyandMayat
ookafewslowbreat
hs
tocal
m hersel
f.

“Wellt
hen,pl
easedot
ell
.Whatwasyour
assumpti
on?”
“ThatyouandSanj
aywer eplanni
ngonmar ri
age,or
atleastt
aki
ngyourr
elati
onshiptothenextl
evel
.”
Mayawasl ostf
orwords.

Therewasal ongsi
lence.Hewaswai t
ingforan
answer,butMayarefusedtodignif
yhisassumpt i
on
wit
hananswer .Hewasget ti
ngangr yathersil
ence.
Hiseyesboredint
oher s,
butstil
lshesaidnothi
ng.

“
Other
wisewhywer
eyouont
hepi
ll
?”

Mayamoi st
enedherli
ps.“Ihavepai
nful
,i
rr
egul
ar
per
iods,
thepil
lreal
lyhel
ps.”

Hel ookedawayanditgaveherchildi
shpleasur
eto
seeaf lushonhisper
fectcheekbones.“
Inever
thoughtofthat
.”
“Yes,
wel
l,
wewomendon’ thavei
taseasyasmen.
”
Nowshesoundedpet
ty.

Hi
seyesweresearchi
ngher
sagai
n.“
It’
sstr
ange
t
hatyou’
veneverbeenwi
thamanbefor
e.”

Mayafel
tlikesl
appi
nghi
m.Hejustwasn’
tgoi
ngt
o
l
eti
tgo.Likeadogwithabone.

“Well
,I
’m sorr
yyouf i
ndi tstr
ange,butthat’
st he
wayitis.
”Shewasn’ tgoingtogointodet ai
labout
herpastexperi
ences,ornon-experi
ences, wit
hmen
andespecial
lythefactthathewast hef i
rstman
she’
dmett hatshe’
dwant edtohavesexwi t
h.His
egowaspr obablyi
nflat
edenoughasi twas.

“
Whyme,
Maya?
”

Heseemedr
eal
lymyst
if
ied,
conf
used,
andper
haps
i
fhismot herwasn’toutt
herel
ookingforasuitable
Indi
anwifeforhim, i
fhewasn’
tplanningonget ti
ng
marri
ed,shemi ghthavebeenmor efort
hcoming
aboutherinnocenceandherir
resist
ibl
eattr
action
towardhi
m, butwhatwast hepoint?

“Raj,whathappenedlastnight,
happened.”Her
voicesoft
enedasshet ri
edt oreasonwithhim.“It
wasspeci al
—forme,anyway, butit
’sovernow.I
havet ogobacktoEdinburghandyou—youhave
yourfutur
eplanstogetonwi t
h.”Shedrewabr eath.
“Can’twejustl
eaveitatthatandatleastpartas
fri
ends?”

“Fri
ends!”Herwor dsweremeanttosoot
hthe
sit
uation,buttheyseemedtoi
nfuri
atehi
m even
mor e.“Af
terlastni
ghtyouwanttobemyf r
iend?
”

“Raji
v.”Shewasgetti
ngangryagainandsher eal
ly
didn’
twantt hat
.“We’
llpr
obablyneverseeeach
otheragain.Whathappenedlastni
ghtwas
wonderf
ul.I
’l
lneverf
orgeti
t—oryou,
butit
’sover
and,
ifyoudon’twanttopar
tasfri
ends,
let
’satleast
l
eaveitamicabl
e.”

“
God,
you’
reacoolone,
aren’
tyou?
”

Itseemedthatnomat t
erwhatshesaidi
twasthe
wrongthi
ng.Bettert
hatshedidn’
tsayanyt
hingat
all
.

“Whowouldhaveknownyouwer eavir
ginj
usta
fewhour
sago.”Hiseyest
ravel
leddownherbodyin
anal
mostinsul
ti
ngmannerandheshookhi shead.
“Sof
ucki
ngblasé.
”

Mayawasspeechl
ess,
notonlybythei
nsolenceof
hi
swords,
butshehadneverbefor
eheardhim
swear
.Andhewassweari
ngather !
“Sowhatdoyousuggest ?”Herhear t-ratehadsped
upwi thherbr eathi
ng.Asmuchasshet ri
edto
controlherself,shewasnowf ur
iouswi ththeway
hewast r
eatingher ,
especial
lyafterallthecar i
ng
tendernesshe’ dshownherl astnight.“Woul dyou
l
ikemet ostayonandbecomeanot heroneofyour
manymi str
esses?Whi leyourmot herr unsar ound
Indi
asear chingf orasweet,suit
ablebr ideforyou?”

Raji
v’
smovedinabl urofspeed.Befor
esheknew
whatwashappening,hehadpinnedhertothewal
l
behi
nd,hi
shandshol di
ngherwr i
stshi
ghaboveher
headinabrui
singgri
p.

“Whatdoyouknowaboutmymi st
resses?
”His
voi
cewassoftbuthisbr
eat
hingbetr
ayedthef
ury
hewasfeel
ing.“
Tellme,
goddammit!”

“Whatdif
fer
encedoesitmake?”shegul
ped,
shockedbyhowqui ckl
ythi
ngshadtur
nedvi
cious.
“I
t’
sthetrut
hisn’
tit
?”
“Foryouri
nformati
on,Maya,
”hebr eat
hedagainst
hercheekandleanedthehardlengthofhisbody
i
nt oher
s.“
Ihaven’tt
ouchedanotherwomansi nce
thedayIpickedyouupfrom t
hatdamnt rain
stati
on.
”

Mayacouldfeelheatburni
ngt hr
ought hethi
n
cott
onfabri
c.Asshestruggledfuti
lel
yt ot
wistaway
fr
om hi
m, t
hestir
ringbul
geofhi sarousalbecame
evi
dentthr
oughthegapingsl i
toftheshirt
.

“Damnyou, ”heswor eashisbodybet r

ayedhim,
growing,andlengtheningagai
nsthersoftski
n,and
Mayaf el
tthatalltoofamil
iarweaknessseepi
ng
throughherthighs.

Butshefoughtagainsti
t.“
Letmego, Raj
iv.
”Her
voicesoundedhuskyandbr eat
hless,
andhisgaze
droppedtohermout h.
Hisbodywasheavy, pressingherbackagainstt
he
wall,
leaningintoeveryi nchofher.Theshirtwas
pull
eduphi ghabovehert hi
ghsbyherar ms,whi
ch
hecont i
nuedt ohol dpainfull
yti
ghtaboveherhead.
Inthesuddensi lence,hegr oundhisswelli
ng
arousalintoher,justaboveherpubi cbone.

“Ican’
t,
”hesaid,suddenl
youtofbr
eat
h.“
Iwi
shI
could,
butIcan’thel
pmyself.
”

Histonguebegant easingherearandshef elther

bodybreakouti nawaveofheat ,
everynerve
suddenlyonhighaler t,
li
keadrugaddictreadyfor
thenextfi
x.Hecont inuedtorotat
ehiships,moving
downt othenakedj uncturebet
weenhert hi
ghsand
fi
ndinghermoi stcl
ef twit
hhisshaft
.Mayal egs
wobbled,heatpooli
ngbet weenherthighsand,
acknowledgingthathehadwon, Raj
ivloosenedher
wrist
sandr anhishandsdownherbodyt othehem
oftheshirt
.
“See,you’r
enotqui t
ereadytoleavemej ustyet
,ar
e
you,baby?”hewhi speredagainstherhai
r,and
muchasshewant edtofeeloutragedbyhis
arrogance,herbodysimplydidn’tseem t
ocare.

Hiserecti
onwor ki
ngi
nsist
entl
yagainstthewet
heatatthejunct
ureofherthi
ghswassucki ngher
under,t
othatplacewherethoughtwasimpossibl
e,
andthecravingneedsofherbodyovertook
ever
ythingelse.

Whenhi shandsgri
ppedherbut
tocksandpr
essed
herupagainsthi
m,sheknewtherewasnohopeleft
forher
.

“God,youfeelgood,
”hemutter
edhoarsel
y,hi
steet
h
bit
ingint
oherneck,gui
dingherhanddownbetween
them.“Sogood.”
Hismanhoodwashotandheavyi nherpalm, sli
ck
wit
hthejui
cesofherdesire,
andheshudder edas
herfi
nger
sclosedaroundhisthrobbingfl
esh.
Squeezi
ngandstrokingfr
om thebaset ot
het ip,
j
ustthewayhe’dshownherdur i
ngt hehoursof
mindl
esspassionthey’
dsharedthroughoutthe
ni
ght.

“
SweetJesus,Maya,
”hehissedthroughgr
it
ted
t
eet
h.Thrust
inghi
shipsagainstherstr
oki
nghand.
“
Whatareyoudoingtome? ”

Shel i
ft
edheavylidstol ookintohisglazedeyes,
wonder i
ngifheexpect edhert oanswerhi m.
Insteadhecoveredhermout hwi t
hhis,closi
nghis
handar oundherthroat,holdi
ngherst i
llwhil
ehe
slantedhisheadanddeepenedt hesensual
onslaughtofhermout h, cont
inui
ngtot hrusthi
s
hipsagainstherenvelopinghand.

Maya’
sbackar
chedawayf
rom t
hewal
l,
gui
dingt
he
swoll
enheadofhi
ssext or
ubagai
nsthersl
ick
vul
vawit
heachthrustofhi
shi
ps.

“God,Raj
.”Pur
e,achi
ngl
ustwasdrenchingher
bodyfrom t
heinsi
deout
,dr
ivi
nghertotheedgeof
anorgasm.

“No,IwantyoutocomewhenI’
mi nsideyou,
”he
choked,t
eari
nghertor
menti
nghandawayand
runni
ngtheundersi
deofhi
sshaftfl
ushagainsther
i
nviti
ngfl
esh,al
mostpushi
ngherovertheedge.

Suddenl
yhemovedawayandshecr i
edoutin
fr
ustr
ati
on,buthecuppedherbott
om andli
ft
edher
offt
hefl
oor ,
for
cinghert
ospreadherthi
ghsand
wrapherlegsaroundhi
swaist.

“Forpi
ty’
ssake,Maya.”Heshovedherhandbackt
o
hisswoll
enerect
ion.“
Doit.Now!”
Sheguidedhi mt ohertendercore,shockedathow
muchshehadl earnedinsol i
tt
leti
me, andt hen
thoughtbecamei mpossi bl
eashet hrust
aggressivel
yintoher,groani
ngashersensi ti
zed
i
nnermuscl estightenedaroundhim.Hi sfingers
dugalmostpai nfull
yint
ot hesoftf
leshofher
bottom ashepl ungeddeeperandhar der,her
sobbingmoansdr i
vinghim wil
d.

Shef el
therselfsuckedintot hatwhi rlpoolof
sensat ion,deeperanddeeper ,untiltheexplosion
grippedherandpul ledherunder ,herbody
convul singandspasmi ngar oundhi sexpl oding
peni s,hotjetsofli
quidspur t
ingdeepi nsi
deher .His
hipskeptt hrusti
ngintoher .Event houghhe’ d
cli
maxed, heseemedunabl et ostop, hissemen
seepi ngoutmoi standsl i
ckagai nsther
thighs.Mayacl imbedsilentlyfrom t hebed, l
istening
car eful
lyforanychangei nRaj i
v’sdeepsl umber ous
breat hi
ng.
AnI ndiancot t
onshi rtwasl yingont hecarved,
woodenchestatt hebot t
om oft hebed.She
reachedf orit,shruggi ngthesof tfabricontoher
sli
m shoul ders.Ithungdownt omi d- t
highonher .
Shebut tonedi tup,br eathi
ngi nthecl ean,soapy
smel lunderli
nedbyhi sunique, mascul i
nescent ,
enjoyingthesensat ionofhi scl othingagai nsther
nakedski n.Thedoorwassl ightlyaj arandshe
ti
ptoedt owar ditwithaqui ckgl ancebackathi s
sleepingform bef orel eavi
ngt heroom.Hel ooked
quitebeaut i
fulstretchedoutacr osst hebed, the
darkgol denski nofhi snakedbackcont rastingwit
h
hissabl etousledhai r.

Memor i
esoft henightbeforecausedherski nto
pri
ckle,heatfloodi
ngt hroughhervei ns.Afterthat
earthshat t
eri
ngorgasm, t
heyhadl ayent angled
together,ki
ssingforwhatseemedl ikehour s,
caressingandf amili
arisi
ngthemsel veswi t
heach
other’
sbodi es.She’dlovedthefreedom ofbei ng
abletot ouchandst rokehishard,muscl edbody,
coveredbyhi ssatinsmoot hskin.Shesavor edthe
powershehadt ogi vehi m pl easure, drivinghimt o
theedge.Fasci nat edbyt hebol dt hrustofhi s
arousal ,shehadf oundt hecour aget ot ouchand
strokehi m, allowinghi mt oshowherj ustwhathe
neededf rom her .Herwant onnesshadsur pr
ised
herselfaswel lashi m.She’ dwant edt ot akehimi n
hermout h, buthe’ dst oppedher .Hisol df ashioned
valuesget t
ingi nt heway, ashet ol
dhershewast oo
newt othis, movi ngt oof ast .Shewast oosor eand
tenderf orthem t ohavesexagai n, buthe’ dpleased
herwi thhi shands, hi
smout h,hisbody, makingher
cli
maxoverandoveragai n.Heseemedf ascinat ed
byt hef i
ne, dar kredhai rcover ingherf emi ni
nity,
feast i
ngoni tunt i
lherbodyf el
tlikeavessel of
ecstasy, notabl etot hink, orcomedownt oear th,
befor ehef oundsomeot herwayofdr owni ngheri n
newsensat ions, l
eavi nghermi ndlessand
over dosedonpl easur e.

Shemanagedtogi
vehim somerel
iefaswell
.He
wasi
nsati
able,
per
manentlyar
oused.Alt
houghhe
woul
dn’
tall
owhertogodownonhi m,sheusedher
handsandherbodyt otakehi m overtheedge, even
thoughhekeptt ell
inghershedi dn’
tneedt o,t
hat
tonightwasallabouther .Butshewant edt ogive
him pleasur
e,l
ovedseei nghiml osecont rol,
groaningandbur yi
nghisf aceinherhai rasshe
strokedandcaressedhim unt i
lhewasweak,
tremblingandgroaninginherar ms,spilli
nghi s
seedoverherlowerst omachandt highs.

Ther ewer esli

ver soflightpeeki ngt hrought he
curtains,sosheknewi tmustbeear l
ymor ning,ver
y
early,asthesunr osear oundfiveo’ clockatt hi
s
ti
meofyear .Itwasqui teeasyt of indt heli
ving
room, eveni fshehadn’ treall
ynot i
cedwher ehe
wast akinghert henightbef ore.Theapar tmentwas
big,probablyt hreeorf ourbedr ooms, sheguessed
asshest eppedi nt ot
hebr i
ghtnessoft heliving
room wi thit
swhi tewallsandl ong, palesofas,set
aroundal ar
ge, woodencof f
eet able.Moder n
artwor kandscul ptur
esaddedt ot hesl eeklinesand
createdbeaut ifulfocalpoi nt
st hatimmedi ately
caughtherar t
isticeye.Theopenpl ankitchenwas
toherright
,separat
edbyalongmar bletopped
counterwit
hf ourst
ool
s,andatthefarendoft he
room wasadi ningt
abl
ewi t
hseatingforaboutten
people.Heobviousl
yenter
tainedhereaswel l
.She
forcedhermindbacktomor epressi
ngmat ters.

Wher
ewasherbag?

Hereyessweptt her oom, fi

nall
ysettlingonherbag
l
yingononeoft hecr eam couches.Sheneededt o
checkhermessagesandt hencallthet r
ainstati
on.
Therewasonet extf rom Jay,wishi
ngherasaf etrip
andaskinghert ot exthim whenshear ri
ved.She
hatedlyi
ng, buthitthereplybuttonandsenthi ma
messagesayi ngshe’ dar ri
vedsafelyandwoul dtext
himlateri
nt heday.Shesawacor dlessl andli
neon
aside-t
ableanddeci dedRaj i
vwoul dn’ tmindifshe
usedittofindoutabouthert rai
n.Di alli
ngDi r
ectory
Enquiri
es,sheobt ainedt henumberf orInformation
atKingsCr ossStat i
ont hencall
edt hem andasked
whent hetraintoEdi nburghwoul dbel eavi
ng.
“Thetr
ainf r
om LondontoEdinburgh’
sWaverly
Stat
ionwillnowbeleavi
ngKingsCr ossat10am
thi
smor ning,
”afemalevoi
cei nfor
medher,and
Mayat hankedherbefor
equietlyhangi
ngupthe
phone.

Shegl
ancedupatasl eek,si
lvercl
ockont
hewall.
Tenminutespastf
ive,al
mostf i
vehour
sbefor
ethe
tr
ainl
eft
.

“
Planni
ngonr
unni
ngoutonme?
”

Mayaal mostjumpedoutofherskinatthesoundof
thatcoolvoicebehindherand,wi
thaninwar d
groan,turnedhertr
embl i
ngli
mbsroundt ofacehi
m.
Hewasst andi
ngatt hedoor
way,naked,his
expressionunreadable.

“
No,
ofcour
senot
,”shemanagedt
osay,
runni
ng
hersweat
ypalmsalongthesi
desoft
hecott
onshirt
.
“Iwasj
ustchecki
ngtoseewhenthet
rai
nleaves.
”

Hecrossedhisar ms,l
eaningoneshoulderagainst
thedoorj
amb, andMayahadt ofor
ceher sel
fnotto
l
ookbelowhi swaist.I
twasr i
dicul
ous,reall
y,af
ter
whattheyhadshar edthenightbefor
e,butshef el
t
embarrassedandawkwar d,whilehewasobvi ously
quit
eateasewi thhisnakedness.

“
Sowhatt
imedoesi
tleave?
”

“
Teno’
cl
ockt
hismor
ning.
”

Hiseyesdroppedtoherl
egsassheshi
ft
edf
rom
onebarefoottoanot
her.

Af
teral
ltheheatandpassi
onofl
astnight
,the
at
mospheresuddenlyf
il
ledwi
tht
ension.Hi
s
hoodedgazet
ravel
ledupwar
dtomeethereyes.

“
Weneedt
otal
k,
”

“
Please,
Raj
iv,
dowehavet
ohaveapost
-mor
tem.
?”

“You’
reapuzzl
e,Maya,
andIdon’
tparti
cul
arl
yli
ke
puzzl
es.Il
iket
oknowwhatI’
m deal
ingwit
h.”

“Deal
ingwit
h?”Shefr
oze.“
Isthathowyouseeme?
Somet hi
ngyouhavetodealwit
h?”

Hestrai
ght
enedup,leani
ngonehandagai
nstthe
door
jambandrubbingthebackofhi
sneck.“
There’
s
somethi
ngIhavetoknow.”

Mayacr
ossedherar
msi nadef
ensi
vest
ance.It
l
ookedl
ikehewasdeter
minedt
ohaveapost-
mor
tem.“
What
?”

“
Wer
eyousavi
ngyour
sel
f—f
orSanj
ay?
”

Itt
ookMayaamomentt ograsphisquest
ion.Then
shewantedt
olaugh,
butknewt hatwoul
dinfuri
ate
him.Shedi
dn’
twanthim angr
y.

Theyonl
yhadaf ewhour sleftandshewantedhi
m
car
ingandpassionate,sweetandgentl
e.Theway
hehadbeenlastnight.

“
No,Raj
iv,
Iwasnotsavi
ngmyselff
oranyone.Why
woul
dyouthi
nkIwassavingmysel
fforSanj
ay?”

“
Yout
oldmeyouwer
eont
hepi
ll
.”

“
So?
”
“
Areyouont
hepi
ll
?”

“
Yes,
ofcour
seIam.Whywoul
dIl
ie?
”

“
Ther
ear
ewomenwhol
ieaboutt
hingsl
iket
hat
.”

Onceagain,itt
ookMayaamomentt ogethis
meaning.“Youthi
nkIwastryi
ngtotri
ckyou?Tr
ap
youint
oget t
ingmepregnant!
”Herchestr
oseand
fel
linf
ury.

“Act
uall
y,no,t
hatwasn’
tmyassumpt
ion,
”he
answeredsoft
lyandMayat
ookafewslowbreat
hs
tocal
m hersel
f.

“Wellt
hen,pl
easedot
ell
.Whatwasyour
assumpti
on?”
“ThatyouandSanj
aywer eplanni
ngonmar ri
age,or
atleastt
aki
ngyourr
elati
onshiptothenextl
evel
.”
Mayawasl ostf
orwords.

Therewasal ongsi
lence.Hewaswai t
ingforan
answer,butMayarefusedtodignif
yhisassumpt i
on
wit
hananswer .Hewasget ti
ngangr yathersil
ence.
Hiseyesboredint
oher s,
butstil
lshesaidnothi
ng.

“
Other
wisewhywer
eyouont
hepi
ll
?”

Mayamoi st
enedherli
ps.“Ihavepai
nful
,i
rr
egul
ar
per
iods,
thepil
lreal
lyhel
ps.”

Hel ookedawayanditgaveherchildi
shpleasur
eto
seeaf lushonhisper
fectcheekbones.“
Inever
thoughtofthat
.”
“Yes,
wel
l,
wewomendon’ thavei
taseasyasmen.
”
Nowshesoundedpet
ty.

Hi
seyesweresearchi
ngher
sagai
n.“
It’
sstr
ange
t
hatyou’
veneverbeenwi
thamanbefor
e.”

Mayafel
tlikesl
appi
nghi
m.Hejustwasn’
tgoi
ngt
o
l
eti
tgo.Likeadogwithabone.

“Well
,I
’m sorr
yyouf i
ndi tstr
ange,butthat’
st he
wayitis.
”Shewasn’ tgoingtogointodet ai
labout
herpastexperi
ences,ornon-experi
ences, wit
hmen
andespecial
lythefactthathewast hef i
rstman
she’
dmett hatshe’
dwant edtohavesexwi t
h.His
egowaspr obablyi
nflat
edenoughasi twas.

“
Whyme,
Maya?
”

Heseemedr
eal
lymyst
if
ied,
conf
used,
andper
haps
i
fhismot herwasn’toutt
herel
ookingforasuitable
Indi
anwifeforhim, i
fhewasn’
tplanningonget ti
ng
marri
ed,shemi ghthavebeenmor efort
hcoming
aboutherinnocenceandherir
resist
ibl
eattr
action
towardhi
m, butwhatwast hepoint?

“Raj,whathappenedlastnight,
happened.”Her
voicesoft
enedasshet ri
edt oreasonwithhim.“It
wasspeci al
—forme,anyway, butit
’sovernow.I
havet ogobacktoEdinburghandyou—youhave
yourfutur
eplanstogetonwi t
h.”Shedrewabr eath.
“Can’twejustl
eaveitatthatandatleastpartas
fri
ends?”

“Fri
ends!”Herwor dsweremeanttosoot
hthe
sit
uation,buttheyseemedtoi
nfuri
atehi
m even
mor e.“Af
terlastni
ghtyouwanttobemyf r
iend?
”

“Raji
v.”Shewasgetti
ngangryagainandsher eal
ly
didn’
twantt hat
.“We’
llpr
obablyneverseeeach
otheragain.Whathappenedlastni
ghtwas
wonderf
ul.I
’l
lneverf
orgeti
t—oryou,
butit
’sover
and,
ifyoudon’twanttopar
tasfri
ends,
let
’satleast
l
eaveitamicabl
e.”

“
God,
you’
reacoolone,
aren’
tyou?
”

Itseemedthatnomat t
erwhatshesaidi
twasthe
wrongthi
ng.Bettert
hatshedidn’
tsayanyt
hingat
all
.

“Whowouldhaveknownyouwer eavir
ginj
usta
fewhour
sago.”Hiseyest
ravel
leddownherbodyin
anal
mostinsul
ti
ngmannerandheshookhi shead.
“Sof
ucki
ngblasé.
”

Mayawasspeechl
ess,
notonlybythei
nsolenceof
hi
swords,
butshehadneverbefor
eheardhim
swear
.Andhewassweari
ngather !
“Sowhatdoyousuggest ?”Herhear t-ratehadsped
upwi thherbr eathi
ng.Asmuchasshet ri
edto
controlherself,shewasnowf ur
iouswi ththeway
hewast r
eatingher ,
especial
lyafterallthecar i
ng
tendernesshe’ dshownherl astnight.“Woul dyou
l
ikemet ostayonandbecomeanot heroneofyour
manymi str
esses?Whi leyourmot herr unsar ound
Indi
asear chingf orasweet,suit
ablebr ideforyou?”

Raji
v’
smovedinabl urofspeed.Befor
esheknew
whatwashappening,hehadpinnedhertothewal
l
behi
nd,hi
shandshol di
ngherwr i
stshi
ghaboveher
headinabrui
singgri
p.

“Whatdoyouknowaboutmymi st
resses?
”His
voi
cewassoftbuthisbr
eat
hingbetr
ayedthef
ury
hewasfeel
ing.“
Tellme,
goddammit!”

“Whatdif
fer
encedoesitmake?”shegul
ped,
shockedbyhowqui ckl
ythi
ngshadtur
nedvi
cious.
“I
t’
sthetrut
hisn’
tit
?”
“Foryouri
nformati
on,Maya,
”hebr eat
hedagainst
hercheekandleanedthehardlengthofhisbody
i
nt oher
s.“
Ihaven’tt
ouchedanotherwomansi nce
thedayIpickedyouupfrom t
hatdamnt rain
stati
on.
”

Mayacouldfeelheatburni
ngt hr
ought hethi
n
cott
onfabri
c.Asshestruggledfuti
lel
yt ot
wistaway
fr
om hi
m, t
hestir
ringbul
geofhi sarousalbecame
evi
dentthr
oughthegapingsl i
toftheshirt
.

“Damnyou, ”heswor eashisbodybet r

ayedhim,
growing,andlengtheningagai
nsthersoftski
n,and
Mayaf el
tthatalltoofamil
iarweaknessseepi
ng
throughherthighs.

Butshefoughtagainsti
t.“
Letmego, Raj
iv.
”Her
voicesoundedhuskyandbr eat
hless,
andhisgaze
droppedtohermout h.
Hisbodywasheavy, pressingherbackagainstt
he
wall,
leaningintoeveryi nchofher.Theshirtwas
pull
eduphi ghabovehert hi
ghsbyherar ms,whi
ch
hecont i
nuedt ohol dpainfull
yti
ghtaboveherhead.
Inthesuddensi lence,hegr oundhisswelli
ng
arousalintoher,justaboveherpubi cbone.

“Ican’
t,
”hesaid,suddenl
youtofbr
eat
h.“
Iwi
shI
could,
butIcan’thel
pmyself.
”

Histonguebegant easingherearandshef elther

bodybreakouti nawaveofheat ,
everynerve
suddenlyonhighaler t,
li
keadrugaddictreadyfor
thenextfi
x.Hecont inuedtorotat
ehiships,moving
downt othenakedj uncturebet
weenhert hi
ghsand
fi
ndinghermoi stcl
ef twit
hhisshaft
.Mayal egs
wobbled,heatpooli
ngbet weenherthighsand,
acknowledgingthathehadwon, Raj
ivloosenedher
wrist
sandr anhishandsdownherbodyt othehem
oftheshirt
.
“See,you’r
enotqui t
ereadytoleavemej ustyet
,ar
e
you,baby?”hewhi speredagainstherhai
r,and
muchasshewant edtofeeloutragedbyhis
arrogance,herbodysimplydidn’tseem t
ocare.

Hiserecti
onwor ki
ngi
nsist
entl
yagainstthewet
heatatthejunct
ureofherthi
ghswassucki ngher
under,t
othatplacewherethoughtwasimpossibl
e,
andthecravingneedsofherbodyovertook
ever
ythingelse.

Whenhi shandsgri
ppedherbut
tocksandpr
essed
herupagainsthi
m,sheknewtherewasnohopeleft
forher
.

“God,youfeelgood,
”hemutter
edhoarsel
y,hi
steet
h
bit
ingint
oherneck,gui
dingherhanddownbetween
them.“Sogood.”
Hismanhoodwashotandheavyi nherpalm, sli
ck
wit
hthejui
cesofherdesire,
andheshudder edas
herfi
nger
sclosedaroundhisthrobbingfl
esh.
Squeezi
ngandstrokingfr
om thebaset ot
het ip,
j
ustthewayhe’dshownherdur i
ngt hehoursof
mindl
esspassionthey’
dsharedthroughoutthe
ni
ght.

“
SweetJesus,Maya,
”hehissedthroughgr
it
ted
t
eet
h.Thrust
inghi
shipsagainstherstr
oki
nghand.
“
Whatareyoudoingtome? ”

Shel i
ft
edheavylidstol ookintohisglazedeyes,
wonder i
ngifheexpect edhert oanswerhi m.
Insteadhecoveredhermout hwi t
hhis,closi
nghis
handar oundherthroat,holdi
ngherst i
llwhil
ehe
slantedhisheadanddeepenedt hesensual
onslaughtofhermout h, cont
inui
ngtot hrusthi
s
hipsagainstherenvelopinghand.

Maya’
sbackar
chedawayf
rom t
hewal
l,
gui
dingt
he
swoll
enheadofhi
ssext or
ubagai
nsthersl
ick
vul
vawit
heachthrustofhi
shi
ps.

“God,Raj
.”Pur
e,achi
ngl
ustwasdrenchingher
bodyfrom t
heinsi
deout
,dr
ivi
nghertotheedgeof
anorgasm.

“No,IwantyoutocomewhenI’
mi nsideyou,
”he
choked,t
eari
nghertor
menti
nghandawayand
runni
ngtheundersi
deofhi
sshaftfl
ushagainsther
i
nviti
ngfl
esh,al
mostpushi
ngherovertheedge.

Suddenl
yhemovedawayandshecr i
edoutin
fr
ustr
ati
on,buthecuppedherbott
om andli
ft
edher
offt
hefl
oor ,
for
cinghert
ospreadherthi
ghsand
wrapherlegsaroundhi
swaist.

“Forpi
ty’
ssake,Maya.”Heshovedherhandbackt
o
hisswoll
enerect
ion.“
Doit.Now!”
Sheguidedhi mt ohertendercore,shockedathow
muchshehadl earnedinsol i
tt
leti
me, andt hen
thoughtbecamei mpossi bl
eashet hrust
aggressivel
yintoher,groani
ngashersensi ti
zed
i
nnermuscl estightenedaroundhim.Hi sfingers
dugalmostpai nfull
yint
ot hesoftf
leshofher
bottom ashepl ungeddeeperandhar der,her
sobbingmoansdr i
vinghim wil
d.

Shef el
therselfsuckedintothatwhirlpoolof
sensation,deeperanddeeper ,unti
ltheexpl osion
grippedherandpul ledherunder ,
herbody
convulsingandspasmi ngar oundhisexpl oding
penis,hotjetsofli
quidspurti
ngdeepi nsi
deher .Hi
s
hipskeptthrusti
ngintoher.Event houghhe’ d
cl
imaxed, heseemedunabl etostop, hissemen
seepingoutmoi standslickagainsthert highs.
Chapt
er24

Mayamusthaveact
ual
lyl
ostconsci
ousf
orashor
t
whi
le.
Shewashar dl
yawar eofhim carryi
ngherbackto
thebedroom,l
ayinghergentl
yont hebedand
coveri
ngherup.Shesnuggledi ntotheluxur
ious
soft
nessofthelinen,
enjoyi
ngt hewar m musky
smellthatt
hei
rlovemakinghadl eftbehi
nd.

Sunlightstr
eamingthroughthel
ongwindowsand
ontot hebeddrewMayaoutofadeepand
dreaml esssl
eep.Raji
vstoodbesi
dethepalebr
own
curtainshehadjustopened,hi
sfaceseti
nan
expressionl
essmask.

“I
t’
seight
-t
hir
tyandIpr esumeyoudon’ twantto
missyourtr
ain,”hesaid, avoi
dinghereyes.“
The
bathr
oom’sthrought hatdoor,asyouknow.I’l
l
makesomecof fee.
”

Shewatchedhim wal
ktowar
dthedoor
,atightpai
n
twi
sti
ngdeepinsi
deher.Hewashal
f-
dressed,a
pri
sti
newhiteshirthangi ngopent oexposehi s
muscledbrownchestwi ththatli
neofsl eekdark
hai
rnar r
owingdowni nt
ot helowwai stbandofhis
smartgraytrousers.Int hepastt welvehour s,she
hadcomet oknowhi sbodyi nti
mat el
y, ashehad
comet oknowher s, and, f
orMaya, thiswas
somethingcompl etelynew—andwonder f
ul—yet
heretheywere,behavi ngl i
kestranger s.

Sheshi
veredsli
ghtl
y.Hiseyeshadbeenl
ikepal
e
chi
psoficethi
smor ni
ngandt her
ewasnothi
ngshe
coul
ddoaboutit.

Hewasgoi ngtomar ryanotherwoman, andshe

wasgoi ngbacktoScot l
andtotryandpi ckupthe
piecesofherli
fe.Shipsthatpassinthenight.Buti
t
hadbeenani ghtthatshewoul dneverforget
,and
shedidnotregretit
,notonebit.

Shelookedaroundher,seei
nghisbedr
oom proper
ly
fort
hefirstt
ime.Thecurtai
nsandbedcover
swer e
coloredi ndiff
erentshadesofbei geandl ightbr own,
whilet hewal l
swer epai ntedwhi t
e, l
ikethemai n
room.Adoort othel eftofthebathr oom st oodaj ar
andMayar eali
zedi twasawal k-i
ncl oset.Shest ood
up,pul li
ngont het erry-
clothrobet hathe’dl ai
dout
atthebot t
om oft hebed, andwentovert ot helong
windows.Asshe’ dexpect ed,theviewwasas
gorgeousher easi twasi nt heli
vingr oom, the
mor ningsunr eflectingbr i
ghtl
yont ot hegent ly
fl
owi ngr i
ver.

Hersuit
casewasplacedonalarge,car
ved-
wooden
chestatt
hebott
om ofthebed.Shewenttoopenit
,
taki
ngouthert
oil
etr
ybagandf reshunder
wear.

Thewhi te-
mar ble-
ti
ledbat hr
oom lookedlargeand
rathermasculineini t
ssimplicit
y,withit
srangeof
expensiveaftershavesandsoapsf ormen.Besides
thehugeshower ,t
her ewasal soalarge,oval
sunkenbat h.Mayasavor edeverymi nut
eofit,
touchingandsmel l
ingallhistoil
etr
iesand
i
magi ningwhati twouldbel iketohavehi m herein
theshowerwi thher .Theideawasat antali
zingone,
especiall
yasherbodywasst i
llsor
eandsensi t
ive
from thenightbefore—andt hismor ning’s—
frenzi
edcoupl i
ng.Themuscl esofherupperl egs
wer eachingandt herewer eslightbruisesonher
thighsandbot t
om, probablyf rom whenhehad
l
iftedherupof fthef l
oor,
dr i
vinghimsel fintoher
wi t
hmaddeni ngpassi on.

Mayaf el
tasurgeofheati nvadeher ,l
eavingher
weakandbr eat
hlesswi t
hlongi ng.Shesqueezed
someshowergel intoalargel uxuri
ousspongeand
gentl
ysoapedbet weenherl egs.Shewassor eand
swoll
endownt here—andnowonder !She’dhad
moresexi nonenightthanshe’ dhadbef orei
nher
enti
reli
fe.

Makingherwaybackintothebedroom, shefel
ta
mixt
ureofrel
iefanddi
sappointmentthathewas
nott
here.Whatwasshehopi ngfor,
someki ndof
reconciliat
ion?Wel lit’snotgoingt ohappen, she
toldher sel
fsternly,impat i
entlyuntyingherhai r
from itstopknotashereyesscannedt heroom.The
clothesshehadwor nt henightbeforewer efolded
neat l
yonanar mchai rinthecorner.Hemusthave
donei tthismor ningwhi l
eshewassl eepi
ng.Hadhe
stayedawakeaf t
ert hey’dhadsexi nt helivi
ngr oom?
sheponder ed,feeli
ngsl i
ghtl
ydisturbedatt he
thoughtofhi m potteringaroundt hebedr oom whi l
e
shel ayi nhisbed, nakedanddeadt ot heworld.

Mayapackedt hecl othesbackintothesuit

caseand
pull
edoutthefirstthingsthatcamet oherhands,
surpri
sedtoseet hatitwast hesamel i
lactopand
fl
owingIndianskirtthatshe’dwornonherar ri
vali n
London.Fatestil
lseemedt obeplayinggameswi th
her.Sheranabr usht hroughherhairandleftitt
o
hangloose,notbot heri
ngwi t
hanymake- up,just
somemoi sturi
zer,beforegoingthroughtothel i
ving
room wit
haheavi lybeat i
ngheart.
Hewasst andi
ngatthewindow,
amugofcof f
eei
n
hishand,st
ari
ngoutatt
heview,ani
nscr
utabl
e
expressi
ononhisf
ace.

“Helpyoursel
ftocoffee.
”Hemot ionedtothecof
fee
potandmat chingcrocker
yont helarge,
wooden
coffeet
able.“
I’
veaskedBi j
altopickyouupat
aroundninefi
fteen,
ifthat
’sokaywi t
hyou?”

Mayanodded.Sohewasn’ tcomi ngwithher.She

tol
dherselfitwasbet terthi sway, t
hatsaying
goodbyeatt hestati
onwoul dhavebeenawkwar d
anduncomf or
tabl
e, whi l
esayi ngitherewasmuch
morecivil
ized.Seatingher sel
fononeoft hesof t
l
eathersofas,shepour edsomecof f
eeintoal ong
whitemug.Hewasst il
lst andingatthewi ndowand
i
twasar elieftoseet hathi sshirtwasnowbut toned
almosttothet op,buthehadn’ tbotheredwi t
ht he
cuff
sortuckedi tin.Ther ewasaki ndofcasual
i
ntimacyabouthi m wal kingar oundlikethat.
Itsqueezedatherheart.Howshewoul dlovetogo
overandputherar msar oundhi
m, t
oslideher
handsbeneat hhisshir
t,andcar
essthehar d
muscl esofhisstomach.Hersoftdr
eamyeyes
clashedwi t
hhisdarkenedgazeand,forasecond,
ti
mest oodsti
ll
.

Thenhemoved,
sett
ingdownthecof
feemugand
raki
nghi
sfi
nger
sthroughhi
shair
.

“
It’
stoolatet
oapol
ogizef
orwhathappened,
”he
mutter
ed,pushi
nghi
shandsint
othepocketsofhi
s
t
rousers.“
What’
sdoneisdone.
”

Mayamoistenedherdr
yli
ps.“
Iwasn’
texpect
ingan
apol
ogy,
”shestat
edevenl
y.

“
No,
Iguessyouwer
en’
t,
”hecount
eredgr
iml
y.
Shef r
owned, notsuresheli
kedthet oneofhisvoice,
butthencont i
nuedanyway.“Iwasasmucht o
blameasyouwer eand,aswewon’ tbeseeingeach
otheragai
n, It
hinkit
’sbesti
fwej ustforgeti
t,
”she
fi
nishedquietl
y,quit
eproudofhowcal m she
sounded.

Hismout ht i
ght
enedi ntoader i
sivel
ine.“God,you
real
lyareMi ssCool,aren’tyou?”hemut t
ered,and
Mayaf eltl
ikeshouti
ngoutt hatt
helastthingshe
fel
tri
ghtnowwascool .“Andwhatmakesyouso
surethatwewon’ tbeseei ngeachot heragain?
Aren’tyouandJaypl anningonkeepi ngincont act
?”

Shehesitat
ed,feeli
ngmeananddecei t
ful
.“Yes,
of
course,we’
llbestayingi
ncontact
,butI’
m not
planni
ngoncomi ngbacktoLondon.
”

“Sowillhebegoi
ngupt
oseeyout
hen?
”he
persi
sted.
“That
’suptoJay,
”sherepl
ied,l
ookingst
rai
ghtat
him.“Heknowshe’sal
wayswel cometocomeup
andstayaslongasheli
kes.”

Whatwasthepointoft
ryingtoconvi
ncehimt here
wasnot
hingbetweenhisbr ot
herandher?What
woul
dhewantt hen?Toseeheront hesidewhile
hi
smotherranaroundIndialooki
ngforawif
ef or
hi
m?No,itwasbestforher

t
osl
ipqui
etl
yawayandt
ryt
ofor
gethi
m.

Mayasethermugdownont hecoffeetable.“
If
you’
resointer
estedinhisfutur
eplans,perhapsyou
shouldaskhim yoursel
f,
”shesuggested,unablet
o
concealt
heirr
it
abili
tyinhervoi
ce.

Wit
ht hespeedofaf
eli
ne,hewashangingoverher
,
l
eaninghisarmsonthesofaaboveherhead.“
And
whatwoul dyoulikemet osayt ohim?”Hisface
wasal mosttouchinghers,t
ightwithrageashe
glareddownather .‘“
Excuseme, dearbrot
her,but
I’
vegott hehotsforyourgir
lfr
iend,sowouldyou
mi ndsteppi
ngasidewhi l
eIscr ewhersenseless
andI ’
lll
etyouknowwhenI ’
m done? ”Howdoest hat
soundt oyouthen? ”

Mayaf el
therfacedrai
nathi scruelwords,but
bef
oreshecoul dret
ali
ate, t
hedoor bel
lpealed
l
oudlyandRaj i
v’shandsf ellabrupt
lyaway.He
movedt owardthedoor,thrustinghisshir
t
i
mpatientl
yintohistr
ouser s.

ItwasBijal
,comet ocoll
ecther.Assheanswer ed
hispoli
tegreeti
ng,Mayawonder edwhathemust
thi
nkofherbei nghereinRajiv’
sapart
mentrather
thanatthehouse.Rajivdisappearedt
ocoll
ecther
suit
caseinthebedroom.Shewal kedawkwardlyto
thewindows, t
ryi
ngnott olookasguil
tyasshef el
t.
Rajivevent uall
yreappearedwithhersuitcase,
seemi ngqui teunconcernedwiththesituati
on,and
shef eltadeepr esentmenttowardhi mforbeingso
thought less.Hehandedt hechaufferhersuit
case.
“Ifyou’lljusttakethisdown,thankyouBi jal
.We’llbe
alongi nami nute.”

“
Whatdi
dyoutel
lhim?”Mayahi
ssedassoonas
t
heol
dermanhadleft
.

Raj
ivr
aisedhi
seyebr
ows.“
Tel
lhi
m?Not
hing.
Why?”

Sheglar
edathiminf
rust
rat
ion.“
Whatmusthe
thi
nkofmebeingher
einyourapart
ment
?”

Heshruggedi
ndif
ferentl
y.“
It
’snoneofhi
sbusi
ness.
Ipayhimtodr
ive,notthi
nk.
”
Mayacollectedherbagf r
om thesofa,herhands
shaki
ng.“Wel l
,thankyouforyourhospit
ali
ty,
”she
sai
dstif
fl
y, walkingtowar
dthedoor.

“
Wai
t.I
’
llt
akeyoudown.
”

Hebut t
onedthecuff
sofhisshi
rt.Sheturnedaway,
unabletobeart
hepainofwatchi
nghi m,knowing
thatshewouldneverseehi
m again.

“Ar
eyousur
eyouhaveever
ythi
ng?
”heasked,
openi
ngt
hedoor

Mayanodded, herthroatti
ghtwithemot i
on.The
at
mospher ebetweent hem wast enseandawkward
astheyenter
edt heplushmi r
roredlif
t.Shehear
d
hi
m drawadeep, st
eadyingbreathasshet ur
ned
i
mpat i
ent
lytofacet hedoors.
“Youcan’twaitt
ogetawayf rom me, canyou?”he
saidgri
mly,hisbreathwarm atthebackofherneck,
andMayat rembledwhenhi shandcur vedroundher
waist,
histhumbbr ushingt
heunder sideofher
breast
.“Whyi sthat?Iwonder.Ithoughtwewere
quit
egoodt ogether.
”

Hislipsmovedagainstherhairandthetempt at
ion
toleanbackagainsthim wasoverpowering.Long
fi
nger sspl
ayedacrossherfl
atstomach, theheatof
hispalm burni
ngthroughherthi
ncot t
onski r
tashe
pressedherbackagainstthehardlengthofhim.

God,
whydi
dhehavet
hispoweroverher
?

Hishandmoveddownt otheheatedjunctur
e
betweenhert
highs,butbeforeshecouldmelt
weaklyint
ohi
m, theli
ftcamet oasmoot hhaltat
thebasement
,all
owinghert hestr
engthtopullaway.
Awaveofshamef
lushedhercheeksatt
heease
wi
thwhi
chhecoul
dseducehersenses.

Theystoodfaci
ngeachot herbesi
dethevehicl
e,
Bij
alsi
tti
ngexpressionlessinthedri
ver
’sseat,
as
Mayaswal l
owed,tryingtofindhervoi
ce.

Shehel
doutherhandinapol
it
egest
ure.“
Thank
youf
or—forever
ythi
ng,
”shesai
dti
ghtl
y.

Apulsethrobbedatthetautl
ineofhisjawandhe
star
edatheroutstret
chedhandforal ongmoment.
“Sothat’
sitt
hen?”hestatedcurt
ly,
final
lycl
aspi
ng
hercoldhandinhis.

“Yes.Wel
l,
takecar
eofyour
self.
”Shepull
edher
handaway,consci
ousofBi
jalwait
ingpat
ient
lyf
or
them t
ofi
nish.
“
Goodbye,
Maya.
”

Hehel
dthedooropenandshecl
imbedi
n,pul
li
ng
t
hefol
dsofherski
rtar
oundher
.

Asthecarsped,awayMayastaredfi
xedl
yinfr
ont
ofher,batt
li
ngagai
nstt
heoverwhel
ming
temptati
ontotur
nroundandlookbackathi
mjust
onelastti
me.
Chapt
er25

Raji
vwat chedherdr i
veaway, feel
ingar i
dicul
ous
urgetor unaf terherandbeghert ostay,evenj ust
foronemor eni ght.Hestoodt herelongafterthecar
haddi sappear ed,wishingthathecoul dhateherf or
thefeelingssheevokedi nhim.Hi slif
eseemed
suddenl ydullandempt ynowt hatshewasgone.He
real
izedt hathehadneverbef or efel
tasaliveashe
hadf r
om t hatf at
efuldaywhenhe’ dcoll
ectedher
from thestation.Andmaki ngl ovet oherlastnight
hadlefthimf eeli
ngdesper at
e.Usually, he’dbequite
i
mpat ientf
ort hewomant oleaveaftersex, butwi
th
Mayaal lhe’dwant edwasf orhertost ay—t ogetto
knowher ,ment al
lyaswel lasphysically,andt hat
’s
whyhe’ dbeensof ur
iouswhenshehadsneaked
outtophonet hestat
ion.Wasshesoanxi oustoget
awayf rom him?God, he’dthoughttheywer egood
toget
her —mor ethangood—mor ethanhe’ dever
i
magi ned,andhe’ dimaginedal ot
.

He’dfeltgutt
edwhenhehear dheront hephone
and,foronecr azymoment , he’dimagi nedi twas
Jayshewascal li
ng,thatshewasgoi ngt oendt heir
rel
ati
onship,butwhatwoul dbet hepoi ntoft hat?As
he’dalr
eadyt oldher,itwasn’ tasi fhecoul doffer
hermar ri
age—orevenaLet ’sseewher et hisgoes
rel
ati
onship.Ifhewasr eallyhonestwi thhi mself,
thereasonhe’ dlostitearli
eri ntheloungewas
becausesub- consciously,hehadbeent hinki
ng
aboutmaki ngherhi smi str
ess, maki ngherhi s.To
dowi t
hashepl eased.God, justthethoughtofi t
madehi m hard.Hehadn’ twant edt olethergo, even
afterhe’ ddiscover edshewasavi rgin.Soi nnocent,
yetsor esponsive.Hewonder edwhatshe’ dt hinki
f
sheknewwhatasi ckoher eallywas, whathewoul d
reall
yl iketodot oher.Whathedi dwi thallt he
mist resseshe’dhadher ei nLondon.Nott heonesi n
India, ofcourse.Thatwasnott heirst yle,orhi sfor
thatmat ter
.Withasi ckfeeli
ng, her ealisedt hathe
wasj ustusedt oget ti
ngwhathewant ed,hadbeen
formostofhi sl if
eandespeci all
ysi ncehi sf at
her’
s
deat h.Het ooki tforgranted,especi allywheni t
camet owomen, andhewant edMaya.Mor et han
anythi nghe’deverwant ed—anyt hingoranyone.
Andhecoul dn’thaveher .

Sexuallythey’dj
ustscratchedthesurface.Hebroke
outinasweatashei maginedexplor
ingtherealms
ofsinfulpleasur
eshersensualbodywascapabl eof.
Withherbei ngsor esponsi
ve,ther
ewasnot el
li
ng
howf arhecoul dtakeher—ifshewashi s.Butshe
i
sn’tyoursandsheneverwi llbe.
Thatageol d,f
ami l
iarguil
tsli
cedthroughhim.He
wasasi ck,pervert
edman.Howcoul dheeventhink
ofMaya—ani nnocent—inthatmanner ?Itwasbad
enought hatheindulgedhisneedswi thsexual
ly
experi
encedwomenwhoenj oyedit
.Nowhewas
stoopi
ngevenl ower ,wanti
ngt oi
ntr
oduceMayat o
hisdebauchedl i
festyl
e.

Hi
splanwast omar r
ytoanIndi
anwoman, confess
hi
ssinstoapriest
,andbecomeaf amilyman,
l
eavi
nghissinfull
if
ebehi
ndhimf orever.Butthat
wasbeforehe’
dmetMaya.

Heexitedt hel
if
tandenter
edtheapartment
.
Temptedt opourhimsel
fasti
ffdri
nk,hewentfor
thecoffeeinst
ead.He’
dhavetowait,
atleastunti
l
theaft
er noon,
befor
ehecouldall
owhi msel
falcohol
.

Whohadtol
dherabouthisprivatel
if
e?he
wonder
edgri
mly.Sanj
ay?Howt hehel
ldi
dSanj
ay
know?Andworstofal
l,
justhowmuchdi dSanj
ay
knowabouthi sverypr i
vatesexl i
fe?Surelynot hing.
Godknewhe’ dalwaysbeendi screettotheext r
eme.
Clarawoul dsomet i
mesmakef unofhi spar anoia
regardinghispr i
vacy, andshe’ dgetpuni shedf orit
aswel l,notthatshe’dmi nded, ofcourse.Anyway,
Claraandal ltheonest hathadcomebef ore,aswel l
asAnushka, inIndia,wer ehistorynow.Thet ruth
wast hathehadn’ tbeenwi thanot herwomansi nce
he’dlaideyesonMaya.Thet houghtofeven
touchinganot herwomanwasal mostr epulsiveto
him,yett ouchingher ,makingl ovet oher ,had
shif
tedt hegr oundhewal kedon.

Butthi smor ninghadbeenadi saster!Hethrew

himsel fontooneoft hesof as,r
ecallinghis
unreasonabl ebehaviourt owardher .Hisangerat
havingherandt henhavingt olethergohaddr i
ven
himt ot heedge.Yethi sragehadnotbeenabl eto
preventhi mf rom t
akingheronceagai ninawi l
d
andf renziedmannert hatwascompl et
elyali
ento
him,who’ dal wayspridedhi mselfonbei ngin
control.Thathadal waysbeenoneoft hehighli
ght
s
ofhissexualper versi ons, beingi ncont rol.Yet,it
seemedt hathehadnor est r
aintwher eshewas
concer ned.Andhi sneedscompl etelyover t
ookhi m
i
nawayt hatwasal toget hert oodi st
ur bing.Then
therehadbeent hatt ender nessaswel l, another
dimensi onofhi msel ft hatwascompl et elynewand
evenmor edi stur bi
ng.Car i
ngandt ender nesswer e
j
ustnothi st hingandhadcer t
ainlynevert urnedhi m
onbef ore,notunt i
llastni ght ,thatis.Whenhe’ d
carri
edhersupi nebodybackt othebedr oom and
l
aidheront hebed, hehadsatt hereforagesj ust
watchinghersl eep.Shehadl ookedsobeaut i
ful,
l
yingt herewi thhergl orioushai rspreadoutacr oss
thepill
ow, herf aceaspur eandi nnocentasa
chil
d’s,andal ltheangerhaddi sappear ed, l
eaving
j
ustagapi nghol eofempt inesst hatwasst il
lwi t
h
him now.Not hingcoul dassuaget hi
sf eel i
ng,
excepthavi ngherbackwi thhi m, andt hatwasnot
goingt ohappen.Hemadehi swayi ntot he
bedroom, gazi ngatt het ousl edbedwi thangui shed
eyes,instinct i
velyhegr abbedt hewhi t
et err
y-cloth
robeshehadwor nand, wi that orment edgr oan,
pressedi ttohi sf ace.
*
**

Mayawalkedbri
sklyalongt
hewi desidewalksof
Pri
ncesStr
eet
,rel
ievedtoseethatthethrongsof
shopper
swerebecomi ngst
eadil
ylesswi theach

passingday.I thadbeent woweekssi nceshe’ d

arri
vedbacki nEdi nburghandt heFest i
valhadj ust
beenwi ndingt oanend.Al t
houghi twasovernow,
therewerest il
lqui t
eaf ewt our i
stsabout ,andt he
l
ocalshadj ustabouthadenough.Shet ur nedi nto
HanoverSt reet ,
impat i
entt ogethomeandoutof
thesteadydr izzle.Ithadbeenal ongbuti nteresting
dayandshewasl ookingf orwar dtostartingwor kat
theBradfieldCent eratt hebegi nningofOct ober.
Shewoul dbewor kingwi t
hyoungpeopl e,teenager s
most l
y,withal lsortsofemot ionalprobl
emsf r
om
anorexiatof ami l
ypr oblemst odr ugaddi cti
on.And
shewasf eeli
ngqui t
eent husiasticaboutbei ngabl e
touseherski l
lstohel pot hers.
Fi
nall
y,shereachedt het
hree-
story,
oldbuil
dingin
whichherfl
at—orr at
herhermother’
sflat
—was
l
ocated,cl
imbingthecurvedstai
rcasetoreachthe
doorattheverytop.

Theflatwaslarge,taki
ngupthewholeofthetop
fl
oor:thr
eedoublebedr oomsandaspaciousli
ving
room connectedtotheopen-pl
ankit
chen.Shewas
happyher e.I
twasf arf
rom l
uxuri
ous—halft
hesize
ofRajiv’
sapartment—butitwascomfort
ableand
homely,andshel ovedthevi
ewsofthebayinthe
dist
ance.

“Hi.
”Josie,herf
ri
end,whorent
edthet
hir
dbedr
oom,
wasi nthekit
chenfr
yingoni
ons.“
Sohow’di
tgoat
Bradfi
eld’
s?”

“Real
lygood.”Mayashr
uggedoffherdamp,brown
suedejacketandt
hrewitont
othesofa.“
Stuar
t
McCl
aughlanshowedmear
oundandintr
oduced
metothestaff
,whowor
konaSat
urday.AndIhave
myownoffice!
”

Josi
egrinned,shaki
nghersil
ky,bl
ack,
bobbedhai r
.
“Wow.”Herbigblueeyesshone.“I
’mimpressed
andgladtoseeyouexcitedaboutsomethi
ngf ora
change.
”

Mayasmi l
ed,droppingdownontot hesofabesi
de
herjacket,
readytochanget hesubject
.“Sowhat
areyoucooki ng?”sheasked,l
eaningherheadback
andpr oppi
ngherboot sont
heovalcoffeetabl
e.
“Thoseonionssmel l yummy.”

“Jay’
sbakedbeans,I
ndian-
styl
e,
”Josiesai
d,st
ir
ri
ng
theonionswi
thawoodenspoon.“ Rememberwhen
hefir
stmadeitforusandwewer eli
ke—curr
ied
bakedbeans?Yuk!Thenweendedupscof fi
ngthe
l
ot.”
Mayasmi led,buttherewasahi ntofconcerninher
eyes,t
hinkingaboutJayandt hef actt
hat
communi cati
onwi thhim hadbeenmi nimalsi
nce
herret
urnt oEdinburgh.“
Ohyes, Iremember ,
the
goodolddays. ”

“
Hasher
epl
iedt
oyourl
astemai
l?
”Josi
easked.

“Yes,butitwasveryshortanddidn’
treal
lysay
much. ”Mayasighed.“Si
ncehemovedbackt o
London,hisemai l
shavebeenshor t
erandsparser,
plushisdamnphonei sal
waysswi t
chedoffor
goingstraightt
ovoicemail.
”Shepaused,fr
owning.
“Ithi
nkI’
llgivehim acal
ltomorr
owont helandl
ine.
He’sstayingattheLondonhousenow. ”

She’
dbeenputti
ngof fcal
li
ngthehomephonewi th
thesi
ll
ynoti
onthatRajivmightanswerit
,butt
hat
washighl
yunli
kely.Hehardlyl
ivedther
eand,even
so,
itwasusual
lyMr
sTr
avi
swhoanswer
edt
he
cal
ls.

Itmi
ghtbeagoodthingt
otal
ktoMr
sTr
avi
s,f
ind
outf
rom herhowJaywasdoi
ng.

“
You’
vegott
hatl
ookonyourf
aceagai
n.”

Mayast
aredupatherf
ri
end.“
Whatl
ook?
”

“Thatsadtroubl
edlookyou’
vebeencar r
yingar
ound
eversinceyougotbackfrom London.
”

“
Oh,
Josi
e,don’
tst
artonmeagai
n!”

“
Ican’
thel
pit,
Maya.You’
remyf r
iend,mybest
f
ri
end!Andyou’
vebeenwast
ingawayt hesepast
t
woweeks.Lookhowmuchwei ghtyou’vel
ostand,
Godknows,
youwer
esl
im enought
obegi
nwi
th!
”

“I
’mjustworri
edaboutJay,
that
’sal
l.
”Whi
chwas
part
lytr
ue,atl
east
.

“Yeah.
”Josiewasn’tconvi
nced.“
AndIdon’t
supposeit
’sgotanythi
ngtodowi t
hthatmega-
bucksbrot
herofhis,whosentyoutheankl
ets.
”

Mayadraggedherhandst hr
oughherrain-
dampenedhair.“
Theankletswer
eat hankyougi
ft
formehelpi
ngJayt hr
oughadiff
icul
tti
me.Youread
thenot
eyourself
!”

“Comeon, Maya,Iwasn’tbor
nyesterday.
”Josie
crossedherarms,leani
ngagainstt
hekitchen
counter
,readytodobattl
e.“Whenareyougoi ngto
tel
lmewhatr eall
yhappened?”
“Ialr
eadyt ol
dyou, t
herewast hi
s…att
racti
on,but
he’slookingtosettl
edownwi thanIndianwife.I
t
maybeKi rti
,thegi
rlf
ri
endItol
dyouabout .”Josi
e
nodded, watchingherint
entl
y.“Orper
hapssome
othersuitableIndi
angirl
.”

Josienoddedagai n.She’dalr
eadyheardmostof
thi
s.“Okay, butyouhaven’tt
oldmehowf arthi
s
att
ractionwent .Di
dhet alkt
oyouabouthi sfeeli
ngs,
thefactt hathe’splanningonget t
ingmarri
ed,yethe
want syou?He’ sobviousl
ystil
lint
oyou,otherwise,
hewoul dn’thavesentyouapai rofplat
inum
anklets.”

“
They’
renotpl
ati
num,
Josi
e,t
hey’
resi
lver
.”

“
They’r
eplat
inum,Maya.Nowareyougoingtotel
l
mewhatthehell
’sgoi
ngon,’
causetheguysounds
l
ikebadnewstome!”
“He’
snotbadnews. ”Whywasshedef endinghi
m?
“Andhewashonestandupf rontwi t
hme.”She
couldn’
thelpsmil
ingatthememor y.“Hetoldmehe
couldneveroff
ermemar r
iage.”Josie’
seyes
widened.“God,whendidhesayt hat?”

Mayahesitated.“
Thenightbefor
eIcamebackt o
London.Itoldyouthetrai
nwasdelayed.
”Josi
e
wait
ed,sayingnothingandevent
uall
yMaya
conti
nued.“Weendedupgoi ngtohisapart
ment.
”

“
Hisapar
tment?It
houghthel
ivedi
nthatmansi
on
i
nKnight
sbr
idge.
”

“Yes,wel
lhehashisownapar
tment
,aswel
l
,by
ChelseaHar
bour.
”

Josi
eshookherhead.“
God,
howtheot
herhal
fli
ve.
”
Shepaused.“
So,di
dyoudoit
?”
Mayanodded,
unabl
etol
ookherf
ri
endi
ntheeye.

“Youdidi t
!”Josiet
urnedofft
hebraisi
ngonionsand
scrambledont othesofaopposi
teMaya.“You
fi
nall
ydidi t!Sohowwasi t
?”Hereyesgluedto
Maya,ami xtur
eofexcit
ementandconcernonher
gaminef ace.

Mayadr aggedherbootsoffandcr
ossedherl
egs,
tr
yingtofindt
hewor ds.“I
twas…wel
l,
itwasbl
oody
painf
ul,i
fyou’
llpar
dont hepun.
”

“Oh,Maya,I’
m sorr
y.Iknow.Notl
iket
heymakei
t
soundinthosestupidnovel
sweread.
”

Mayanodded.“Yes,butaft
erward,hewasr eall
y
sweetandcar
ingandt hen,event
uallywhenwedi d
i
tagain—God,Josi
e,itwaswonder ful
.”She
swall
owedhard,det
erminednott oshedanyt ears
overhim.
“Oh,Maya,baby.”Josi
ejumpedofft
hesofaand
camet osi
tbesideher,st
roki
ngherhai
randmaking
soothi
ngsounds.“ Washeshockedwhenhefound
outyouwereavi rgi
n?”

Mayanodded, suppressi
ngt hetear
sandt r
yingto
fi
ndhervoice.“Hewast otal
lyshocked,angryeven,
”
shemanagedevent uall
y.“Thatwaswhenhet ol
d
mehecouldneverof fertomar r
yme, ”sheended
wit
hatightlaugh.

“
God,hesoundssocompl
ex,al
lmoder
nmanoft
he
wor
ldandyetsool
d-f
ashi
onedatt
hesamet
ime.
”

“Oh,he’
scompl exal
lri
ght
,anddon’
tfor
gethest
il
l
beli
evesther
e’ssomethi
ngbetweenJayandme,so
hekept

goi
ngonaboutbet
rayi
nghi
sbr
other
.”
“
Maya,
whydi
dn’
tyouj
ustt
ellhi
m?”

“Iwastempted,beli
eveme,butbesi
desitbei
ng
Jay’
ssecrettodiscl
ose,
Ireal
izedit
’sbet
tert
his
way.”

Josi
efr
owned.“
Bet
ter
,why?
”

“Becauset here’snopoi nt,t

hat ’swhy.He’ ssti
ll
goingt omar r
yanI ndianwoman, notthatI’
m
i
nt erestedi nmar ri
ageandIt oldhi m so.There’sno
futuref orthet woofus.Eveni fhewasn’ tgetti
ng
mar ried, Il
iveinEdi nburgh,hel ivesi
nLondonand
travelsconst antly.We’ r
ewor ldsapar t.Hisli
feisso
compl etelydifferentf r
om mi ne.”Shepaused.“ And
l
astbutnotl east ,canyoui magi newhati twoulddo
tohispoormot her ?Oneson’ sgayandt heother’
s
havinganaf fairsomewei rdoScot sgirl
!”
Theybot
hgiggledatherdescr
ipt
ionofher
sel
fand
theat
mosphereeased.

“Okay.”Josi
est oodup.“ I
’m goingtocarryi
ngon
cookingusal ovelydinnerandyouar egoingt oeat
!
Weneedt ofat
tenyouup, gi
rlf
riend.Soweshal l
conti
nuet hi
sconver sati
onoverdi nner.Isti
llwant
toknowal lt
hedet ai
ls.”Shewi nkedsuggest ivel
y
andmadeherwayt owar dthecookerasMaya
stoodupandgr abbedherboot s

“
Maya.
”Herf
ri
end’
svoi
cewassuddenl
yser
ious.

“
Yes,
Josi
e?”

“
Hest
il
lwant
syou.Youknowt
hatdon’
tyou?
”

Mayast
aredather,
recall
ingt
hemor ni
ngaf
terand
t
hemannerinwhichthey’
dparted.“
Noway!It
’s
over
,bel
ieveme.
”

“
Thoseankl
etssayi
tal
l.Hest
il
lwant
syou.

“
Josi
e,It
oldyout
heywer
eat
hankyougi
ft
!”

“Notplati
num ankl
ets.There’
ssomethingvery
personalaboutagif
tlikethat
,almostsensual.
Mar r
iageornomar r
iage,hestil
lwantsyou.”

Mayawentt otakehershower ,f
eeli
ngbet terthan
shehadsi ncel eavingLondon.Itwasgoodt oget
thi
ngsof fherchest .Tryi
ngt opret
endal lwaswel l
hadnotbeent her i
ghtapproacht otakeand, as
Josiehadsai d,shewasn’ tbornyesterday.Besides
that
, Mayawasr eallyl
ookingforwardtost art
ing
work.Hervisittot heBradfiel
dCenterhadl efther
feel
ingexcitedf orthefir
sttimesincearrivi
ngback
home.
Theonl ythingst i
llni
gglingatherwast hatshe’d
heardsol i
ttlefrom Jay.Maybei twasbettert
his
way, makeacl eanbreakf rom thewholefamily.But
apar tofherwasst il
lconcernedabouthi m.Itwas
strangeforhi m nottohaveanswer edhisphoneand
thoseshor temai l
swer enotr eall
ytel
li
ngher
anythingabouthi sst at
eofmi nd.Shewoul dhaveto
calltheLondonhouset omorrow.
Chapt
er26

Thesoundoft hephoner ingi

ngbr oughtMaya
suddenl yawakeandshegazedsl eepil
yatt he
bedsidecl ock.Aquar t
ertosevenonaSat urday
mor ni
ng.SheandJosi ehadst ayedupl atelast
night,
dr i
nki ngwineandt alki
ngaboutJayandRaj i
v,
ofcour se.Josi ehadwant edtoknowal lthedet ai
ls
andMaya, beingali
ttl
etipsy,hadgi venthem t oher,
tel
li
ngheroft heirti
met ogetherandt he
compl exit
iesofhi str
aditi
onalIndianval ues.

Hercel
lphonewasswi
tchedof
fandhermot
her
usuallytextedbef or
ecall
ingthel and-
li
ne,soit
couldbeher .Shepaddedovert othel
ivi
ngroom as
theringingcont i
nued,aslightfeeli
ngofanxiet
y
reari
ngi tsheadi nsi
deofher ,butsheshookitaway.
Ithadt obehermot hercall
ingfrom CapeTownt o
seehowhervi si
ttotheBradfiel
dCenterhadgone
yesterday.

“Hel
lo.
”Shegr i
ppedtherecei
vert
ight
lyi
nherhand
andfel
therlegstur
nt omushatthefamil
iarvoi
ce
ontheotherend.

“
Hel
lo,
Maya,
it’
sRaj
ivher
e.”

Althoughherheartsoaredatthesoundofhi s
velvet
yvoice,somethinginhistonewasnotqui t
e
ri
ght.“Raj
iv,h—howar eyou?”Shet r
iedtosound
pleasant
lysurpri
sed,butfai
ledmi ser
ably.

“
I’
m okay,
Iguess.
”Shesqueezedhereyesshutas
hespoke,al
lowi
nghersensestodrowni
nthelow,
fai
ntl
yhuskytoneofhisvoi
ce.“
It
’sJayt
hatI
’
m
cal
li
ngaboutactual
ly.
”

Hereyesf
lewopen.“
Jay?Why?I
sheal
lri
ght
?”

Hehesit
ated.“Yeshe’
sallr
ight
.Now.”Apause.
“Maya,
Jayt r
iedtokil
lhi
mselfl
astni
ght.
”

Shesankt oherkneesont hehardwooden

fl
oorboardsashervisi
oncl oudedoverandher
mindbeganr aci
ng.Ishouldhavephonedhim.I
shouldn’
thavelef
titsolong!

“Maya,
areyouokay?
”Rajiv’
svoi
cesoundedt
ense
anduneasyt
hroughthephoneli
ne.“
He’
sallr
ight
.
Doyouhearme?

He’
sgoi
ngt
obeal
lri
ght
.”
Shenodded, weakandshakywithrel
ief
.“Ihearyou.
Oh,Raj
iv,Ishouldhavecall
edhi
m.Iwaspl anning
oncall
ingtoday,butIshoul
dn’
thavewaitedso
l
ong.”

Asobrosei
nherthr
oat
,maki
ngi
timpossi
blef
or
hert
oconti
nue.

“Sowhenwasitt
hatyouspoket
ohi
mlast
?”he
askedt
aut
ly.

“
Um, j
ustbef
orehel
eftf
orLondon,It
hink,
”she
r
epl
ied,f
orci
nghermi
ndtofuncti
on.

“
Andyoudi
dn’
ttel
lhi
m aboutus,
didyou?
”

Mayacaughtherbr
eat
h.“
Ofcour
senot
!”
“ThankGod.”Sheheardthetensi
onleavehi
svoice.
“Thankyou,God.Ithoughtmaybe—maybehe’d
foundout,andthatwaswhyhe’dtakenthe
overdose.
”

Josi
ewal kedint
otheroom,herexpr
essi
onsl
eepy
butconcerned.Mayashookherhead.

“Raji
v,l
istent
ome.Jay’smentalst
atehasgot
nothi
ngt odowithyouandme,”shesaidearnest
ly.
“Youhavet obeli
eveme.Iwi
shIcouldsaymor e,
butpleasebeli
evemewhenIsayi t
’snotbecauseof
you.”

Shehear dhim drawashakybr eat

h.“God,Ihope
you’reri
ght,
”hemut ter
ed,andshewoul dhavegiven
anythingtohaveputherar msaroundhimr i
ght
thereandthen.“Lastnightwaspurehell
.Iwasso
sure—nevermind.That ’
snotwhyI ’
mr i
ngi
ng.He
wantstoseeyou,
Maya.Youwerethefir
stperson
heaskedforwhenher
egainedconsci
ousness.”

*
**

Mayast ar eddownatt heRi verThamesbel owher

asthepl aneci rcl
edHeat hrowAi r
por t.Woul dthis
ri
veralwaysr emindherofRaj iv?shewonder edwi t
h
anachinghear t.I
tseemedunr ealthatshewasback
hereagai n,butJay’ssui cideat temptwasal ltoo
real
,andRaj i
vhadbookedheront hef i
rstavai l
abl
e
fl
ighttoLondon.Shet r
iedt oi gnoret hecur ious
gazesf r
om t heexecut i
vebusi nessmenwhohad
boardedt hepl anewithher .Buti nal ongdeni m skirt
andherl il
ac, l
amb’s-woolcar digan, shef el
tshe
stuckoutl ikeasor ethumb.

Hereyesscannedt hepeoplewai t
ingatArr
ival
sand
shetriedt
or ememberwhoRaj i
vhadsaidwouldbe
meetingherhere.Probabl
yBijal,
shesurmised,and
thenshefeltherworldsuddenlyti
ltonit
saxisas
hergazecl ashedwi thapai rofbl
ueeyesf r
inged
wit
ht hickblacklashes.Hewasl eaningagai nstone
oftheai r
portpill
ars,andshewat chedhungr i
lyas
hest r
aightenedupandcamet owar dher.Hiswhi t
e
shirtwascr eased,openatt hethroat,andhisbl ack
hairwast ousled.Ast ubbleofgrowthdar kenedhi s
mout handj aw-li
ne, buthewasst il
lthemost
att
racti
vemal eshehadeverseen.I ttookallMaya’ s
wil
lpowert orestrainherselff
rom fall
ingintohis
arms.

“Hi,
”hesaidsoft
ly,t
akingthebulkyembroidered
bagf r
om herandsli
ngingitoverhisshoulder
.His
eyeshadnotleftherface,
andshef eltatr
embl i
ng
rel
iefwhenhetookherhandandl edheroutofthe
air
port.“
Come.Bijal
’swait
ingtotakeust othe
hospital
.”

Shenoddeddumbl y,gai
ningst
rengt
hfrom t
he
warmthofhishand.Onceseatedinthebackofthe
Mercedes,
drivi
ngalongthewetLondonroads,
Mayabegantofeelali
tt
lemor
eher sel
f.Thegl
ass
par
ti
ti
onbetweenthem andBi
jalcl
osedandshefelt
abl
etospeakopenly.

Int
ensebl ueeyesboredint
ohers,bef
oredroppi
ng
toroam i
nt i
matelydownherbody.“Youlook
dif
ferent
.”Hef r
owned.“Haveyoulostweight
?”

“
Maybe,
justal
it
tl
e.I
’
vebeenr
eal
lybusy,
”shel
ied.
“
But

Josi
e,myf
lat
mat
e’s,
det
ermi
nedt
ofat
tenmeup.
”

“
Josi
e?I
sthatamal
eoraf
emal
efl
atmat
e?”

“Female,ofcourse,
”sheanswered.“She’sl
ikemy
bestfr
iend.We’veknowneachot hersinceschool
.
She’salsoveryworri
edaboutJay.I’
llhavetocall
herassoonasI ’veseenhi
m.”
Heconti
nuedtogazeather
,thedar
kst
ubbl
eand
shadowsbeneathhi
seyes,
somehowaddi
ngtohi
s
undeni
abl
eattr
acti
on.

“Sohowi shesincewespokeonthephone?”she
asked,hopinghewasn’tgoi
ngt
obringupher
weightlossagai
n.“Hasther
ebeenanychange?”

Raji
vnodded, l
ookinggauntandt ired.“Thedoct or
s
arepleasedwithhisprogress,alt
hought heykeep
str
essinghowl uckyhewas. ”Hel eanedhi shead
backagainstthesoftl
eatherseatandt urnedto
gazeatherwithheavyl i
ddedeyes.“ Andthey’r
e
absol
ut el
yri
ght.IfMrsTravishadn’ tfound
hi
m—Godknows. ”Heclosedhi seyesatt hethought.

“
Whatti
medidithappen?
”sheasked,l
ongingt
o
r
eachoutandst
rokehisl
ean,
tir
edfeat
ures.
“Aroundni neo’cl
ocklastnight,
”het oldher .“Mrs
Traviswashangi ngaboutal it
tl
elatert hanusual ,
thankt heLord.Jayhadgoneupst ai
r saboutan
hourbef ore,whenthephoner ang.”Her akedl ong
fi
ngerst hroughhistousl
edhai r
.“ThankGodf orthat
phonecal l!I
twasaf ri
endofhi sfr
om Swi tzerland,I
thi
nk, soMr sTraviswentupt ocallhim.Hewasn’ t
i
nhi sr oom.Shef oundhimi nmymot her’
sr oom.
He’ddi scoveredsomesleepingtablet sinher
cupboar d,pouredhimselfaglassofwat er,laydown
onherbed, andtakenthewhol ebottle.”

Mayaf el
tsickatt
hepicturehepai
nted.She
reachedoutandclaspedhishand,t
heur get
otouch
himt oost
rongtoresi
st.“Haveyoutol
dyourmother
yet?”

“No.
”Helookeddownatherhandbef orel
ift
ingitt
o
hismout
h.“She’sst
il
linI
ndiaandJaybeggedme
nott
otel
lher,sowe’l
lwaitandsee.
”Hepr essedhis
l
ipsagai
nstherpalm,andMayaf el
therbodymel t
.
“IsworetomyselfthatIwouldn’
ttouchyou,
”he
murmur edasherfinger
stracedthesensualshape
ofhisl
ipsand,withanunsteadygr oan,
hecupped
thebackofherheadandbr oughthermout h
unwaveringl
ytohis.

Mayadr ownedi ntherawur gencyofhiskiss,

her
handssi nki
ngi ntohishairasthetophalfofher
bodypr essedur gentl
yintohim.Hismout hwas
ravagingher s,hi
sfingersholdi
ngherheadf astas
histonguef orcedar esponsefrom her
.

Thetasteandsmel lofhim wasoverpoweri

ngher
senses,moltenlavasur gi
ngthroughherveins.
Timestoodst i
ll
.Shef orgotwhereshewas, whyshe
wasthere,andal lt
hatmat ter
edwast hathe
conti
nueholdingherandmaki nglovetohermouth.

“
God,
I’
vemissedyou,
”hebreat
hedagainstherl
ips.
“
Myli
fehasbeenpurehel
lwit
houtyou!
”
Hespreadoutherl
onghai
r,t
wist
ingandt
angl
ingi
t
agai
nsthi
sfacebefor
ebri
ngi
nghermouthbackto
hi
sonceagain.

Shecaressedhi
sneck,
thest
rongcol
umnofhi
s
thr
oat
,her

ti
ghtnippl
esrubbinger oti
cal
lyagainsthischest.I
t
washeavent obei nhisarmsagai nand, ofthei
r
ownaccor d,
herf i
ngersmoveddownoverhi sfl
at
stomachtofindandcupt hethrust
ingheatofhi s
manhood, pr
essingt aut
lyagainstt
hecl othofhis
tr
ousers.Suddenly,hestif
fenedandexpel leda
shudderi
nggr oan,draggi
ngherhandr oughlyaway.

“NoMaya.No! ”Hebreathedraggedly,
hisf
ingers
sti
llgrippi
ngherwrist
.“List
entome.Ipr omised
mysel fthatI
’
dkeepawayf rom you,
andGodhel p
me, that’
sthewayit’
sgott obe.”
Shepull
edawayfr
om hi
mfeeli
ngmor
ti
fi
edandhur
t.
“Why?
”Itcameoutinawhi
sper.

Heshuthiseyesagainstheral
lur
ingbeaut
yand
sworewit
hfrust
rat
ion.“BecauseofJay,Maya.Why
doyouthi
nk?”

Asifoncue, Bi
jalbroughtthecartoahaltout
sidea
tal
lbuil
ding,
apr i
vatecli
nic—mani cur
edlawnsand
neatl
ytri
mmedhedgesenj oyi
ngthesteadydr
izzl
e
ofthedampanddr earyday.

Thewal kthroughthehospi
talaccompl i
shedin
si
lence.Therewasnot hi
ngtosay, shefelt
,and
besides,sheneededtoprepareherselff
orJay.

Afteral
l,
hewasther
easonshewashere,
andi
t
seemedsheneededremi
ndi
ngofthat
.
“I
’l
lwaitforyouintheloungeoverthere,
”Raj
ivsai
d,
pointi
ngtoabr i
ghtl
ylitr
oom attheendofthe
passage.“Here’
sthenursenow.She’ l
lshowyouto
Jay’sroom.Takeasl ongasyoul i
ke.Idon’
tmind
waiti
ng.”

Theexpr
essi
ononhi
sfacewasinscrut
abl
e,and
Mayahadnochoi
cebuttol
eavehim andf
oll
owthe
nur
se.

Jaylookedpaleandweak, l
yingther
eont he
hospit
albed,butheoff
eredherawansmi leasshe
enter
edthesmal lcomf
ortabl
er oom.Pi
ctureson
thewallgaveitahomelyfeelwhilet
hewindow
l
ookedoutont othegar
densbel ow.

“Maya.Oh,Maya.
”Heheldouthi
shand.“
Yougot
her
ef ast
.Mybrot
her
’sdoingIpr
esume.
”
Shebentovert
hesi
deoft
hebedandhuggedhi m.
“Jay,
yougaveussuchaf
ri
ght.
”Hervoicewas
chokedwit
hemoti
onandhereyesf
il
ledwit
htears.

“
I’
m sor
ry,
sosor
ry.
”

Theyheldeachotherf
oralongt
ime,
wor
ds
unnecessar
ybetweenthem.

Final
ly,
Mayal
if
tedherhead.“
Doyouwantt
otal
k
aboutit
?”

Hetookadeepbreat
handwi pedhi
seyesonthe
pl
ushli
nensheet
.“Idon’
tknowwheretost
art
.”

“
Wher
everyoul
ike,
”shesuggest
edgent
ly.

“
Wel
l,
Ithoughtt
hatbei
ngbacki
nLondonwoul
d
somehowper kmeupabi t,butitdidn’
t.”He
squeezedherhandasshesatpat ientl
yont hebed
besidehim.“Youseethathousehol dssomebad
memor iesforme.That
’swher emyf atherandI
arguedbeforehehadtheacci dent,andIf eelhi
s
presenceinsomanypl aces.”

“
OhJay,”sherespondedtender
ly.“
Whydidn’
tyou
l
eave?Whydidn’tyoucomeupt oEdinbur
gh.
”

Heshr uggedhi sshoul ders.“It

’sast r
anget hi
ng,
depr ession.Youseem t ol oseallyourenergy.Ifel
t
sodr ained, Iendedupj ustmopi ngaround.”He
staredof fintospace, dar ksmudgesvi sibl
ebeneat h
hiseyes.“ Raj i
vcamer oundf ordinnersomet imes,
butt otellyout hetruth,heseemedqui tedowni n
thedumpsaswel l,
event houghhet ri
edt ohideit.
He’sbr okenupwi thKi r
t i
,youknow, ”hetoldher
withashr ugofi ndi
fference.

Mayashookherhead,
notal
lowi
ngher
sel
ftof
eel
pl
easedaboutt
hat
.

“Anyway, l
astnightIwenti nt
omymot her ’
sr oom,
l
ookingf orsomeol dphot osofmyf ather,andRaj i
v
andIwhenwewer ekids.MaybeIshoul dn’thave
donet hat’causelookingatt hem mademef eeleven
worse, andt hen,i
nthedr awerr i
ghtnextt ot he
photoal bum wast hisbottleofsl eepingt ablets.I
t
fel
tli
ket heywer emeantt obet here.Meantf orme!”
Hecover edhisfacewi thhishandsandMaya
reachedovert ostr
okehi shair.“Nextt hingI
remember edwaswaki ngupher e,feelinglike
absolutehel l.
”Hisvoicewasmuf fledashef ellback
againstthepi ll
ow,pressinghispal mst ohi seyes.

“Di
dyouknowt hatKurtphonedyoulastni
ght
?”she
asked,
suddenl
yr ememberingwhatRaji
vhadsaid
onthedri
veoverhere.

Jayjerkedupagai
n,st
ari
ngather
.“No.Ar
eyou
sur
ei twashim?Whotoldyou?
”
Asmi l
et ouchedherli
ps.“Raji
vtoldmeont heway
overhere.Infact
,thatphonecallprobabl
ysaved
yourli
fe.That’
swhyMr sTravi
scamet of
indyou.
”

“
Doyouknowi
fshespoket
ohi
m af
ter
war
d?”

Mayaf r
owned.“No,
Idon’
t.Hemightbewor
ri
ed
aboutyouJay.Whydon’
tyoucontactMr
sTravi
s
andaskherwhathappened?”

Henoddedeager l
y,reachingforthephonebesi de
thebed.Assheobser vedhi mtal
kingt ot
he
housekeeper,agli
mmerofhopef laredwit
hinher.
Hel ookedmoreani mat edthanshehadseenhi mi n
alongt i
me,askingdet ail
edquestionsandlist
ening
withavidint
eresttowhatMr sTravishadtosay.

“Youwer
eri
ght,Maya,
itwasKurt,
”hesaidexci
tedl
y
oncehe’
dputdownthephone.“
Aftershefoundme
unconsci
ous, poorMr sTravi
swasi naterr
ibl
estat
e.
Sherandownst air
st ocallRaj
iv,gr
abbedthephone
andaskedKur ttohangupsot hatshecouldcal
lan
ambulance.Hewant edtoknowwhathadhappened.
Shejusttol
dhi mther ewasanemer gencyandto
cal
lbacklater,whichhehasn’tdone.”Hepaused,
fr
owninghar d.“WhatshouldIdonow? ”

“Youphonehim,ofcour
se.Hemustbewor
ri
ed.Do
youhavehisnumber?”

Jaynodded.“Ofcour
se.Iknowhisnumberbett
er
thanmyown.I ’
vebeentemptedt
ophonehim so
manytimes.”

“Well
,now’syourchance,”sheencouraged,pr
aying
thatKurt
’sresponsewouldbeaposi t
iveone.IfJay
couldsortt
hingsoutwithKurtthi
swhol esi
tuati
on
mightfi
nall
yber esol
ved.
Hedi al
ledthenumberwithtr
emblingfingersand
waitedtakingherhandandsqueezingitti
ghtly.
“There’
snor epl
y,”hesai
dfi
nall
y.“Itwentstraightt
o
voicemail.Damn,damn,damnit.
”

Hef ellbackagainstt
hepil
lows,
looki
ngsuddenl
y
exhaust ed,hi
sfaceshinywit
hsweatandhis
breathinglabored.

Mayapouredhim somewat er
,unsureofwhatt
odo
next
,whenthenurseenteredand,seei
nghowpale
andti
redhelooked,t
oldMayat hatshewoul
dhave
tosayhergoodbyesandleave.

Mayawipedthemoi stur
efrom hi
sbrow.“Jay,
bef
oreIgo.Yourbrother’
sveryworr
iedaboutyou.
Haveyouthoughtabouttell
inghi
m?”

Hi
sgazewasunwaver
ing.“
Yes,I
’m goi
ngtotel
l
hi
m—soon.Justl
etmegetholdofKurt
.Ineedto
speakt
ohi
m andIpr
omi
seI
’
llt
ellRaj
iv.
”

Shebreathedatr
emuloussigh.I
tmi ghtbe
conveni
enthavi
ngRajivt
hinki
ngt herewas
somethingbet
weenherandJay, butthewhol
e
decepti
onwasbeginni
ngtowearonher .
Chapt
er27

Rajivgazedoutatt hewetweat herwithunseei

ng
eyes.He’dspental otoft
imei nthiswaiti
ngroom
andi nthehospit
alchapel.Mostoft hatti
mehad
beenat orment,notknowingifhisbrotherwas
goingtoliveornot.He’dprayed,real
lyprayed,
li
ke
neverbefore:HailMary’
s,OurFat her’
s,Gl
oryBe’s,
thelot.

ThankGod,
itwasover
.

Orwasi
t?
Hest i
lldi
dnotknowwhyi twast hatJayhad
attemptedsui ci
de,alt
houghhewasbecomi ng
convincedt hathisaffai
rwi thMayami ghtnotbet he
reason.Ifyoucoul dcalli
tanaf f
air.I
tmayhave
beenonl yoneni ghtofmi ndlesspassi onbuti thad
affect
edhi m mor ethananyt hinginhi sli
fe.Hewas
obsessedwi t
hher ,i
nfat
uat ed.Andt hesepast
weekssi nceshe’dl ef
tEngl andhadbeenpur ehell
.
Muchashehadt r
iedtocar ryonwi thhisl i
feas
before,i
thadbeenal mosti mpossiblet odoso.He
hadendedupdr i
nkingfart oomuch, noteatingfor
daysonend, andheknewt hathe’dbeenhel lt
o
wor kwithtoo.

Seeingheragaintodayhadbeenanexqui si
tekind
oftort
ure.Hehadswor nonhisbr other’
sli
fethathe
wouldnottouchher ,thati
fhisbrothersurvi
ved,
Raji
vwoul ddoever ythi
nginhispowert obringthe
twoofthem togetheragain.Thoughhehadswor n
tokeephisdistance,ithadn’
ttakenhi mlongto
succumbt ohisdesi r
es.DearGod, onlyafew
minuteswit
hherinthecarandhe’dbeenallover
her.Butshehadstar
tedi
t,hetr
iedtoj
usti
fyto
hi
msel f
.WasGoddel i
ber
atel
ytormenti
nghim?

Hehadt okeephisdistance.Whatki
ndofaman
madeapr omisetoGod, withhi
sbrother’
sli
feat
stake,andbrokeitwithinminut
es?Her ubbedthe
achingmuscl esatthebackofhisneckand
wonder ed,notf
orthef i
rstti
me,i
ftherewasa

reconci
li
ati
ongoi
ngoni
nther
oom downt
he
passage.

Thethoughtcl awedathisi nsideswithsadi

sticzeal.
Whatift heydecidedtomar ry?Coul dhebeartolive
wit
hMayaashi ssist
er-
in-l
aw?Andyeti ft
hatwas
whatittookt osavehisbrot her,t
henwouldn’ti
tbe
wort
ht hepai n?Hishandswer eshakingsli
ghtly,
andaf i
lm ofsweathadbr okenoutonhi sskin.God,
he’
dsel lhissoulforaglassandabot tl
eofwhi sky
ri
ghtnow.Amovementcaughthi seyeandhe
turnedtoseeherwalki
ngtowardhim,herflawless
featur
essereneunderthest
arkfl
uorescentli
ghts.
Andasal ways,hef
eltt
hesharpkickofdesireatthe
sightofher.

Het hr
usthishandsintohist
rouserpocketswhere
theywouldn’tbet
empt edtot
ouchher .“
Everyt
hing
okay?”heasked,searchi
ngherdeli
catefacefor
clues.

“Yes,f
ine.
”Sheli
ftedherheadtolookathim,her
l
ipstil
tedupwar
dandhewonder edwhatthehell
shelookedsopleasedabout.“
Heneedst orest
.The
nursesayswecancomebackt hiseveni
ng.”

Bij
alwaswai t
ingforthem downstair
sintheparki
ng
l
ot,concernevidentonhisface.Raji
vreassur
ed
himthatallwaswel l
.ThechaufferhadknownJay
si
ncechildhoodandt heshockofhisattempted
sui
cidehadhitallofthem hard.
“Canyout akeustoKni ghtsbri
dge,pleaseBijal?
”
Raji
vsaid.Heneededt oputsomespacebet ween
them,tot akecontrolofhisemot i
ons.Hewoul d
dropheratt hehouseandt hengobackt ohis
apartmentf oramuch- neededdr i
nk.Leani ng
againstthecardoor ,hetri
edt osti
llhisleapi
ng
sensesast hefamili
arsmel lofherinvadedhi s
nostri
ls.

“Dowehavet ogotoKnight
sbri
dge?”sheasked
softl
y,hercateyesgi
vingoutsi
gnalsthathecoul
d
notresist
.“Takemetoyourapartment,Raji
v.
Please.”

Awaveofheati
nvadedhi
sbodyashestaredback
ather
.Di
dshereal
izewhatshewasaski
ng?

“
Maya,Idon’
tthi
nkthat’
ssuchagoodidea,”hesai
d
t
hroughcl
enchedteet
h,awaret
hatBi
jalcouldhear
mostoft
hei
rconver
sat
ionwi
tht
hepar
ti
ti
onnow
open.

Hisgazewasdr awnt ohermout hashertongue

gentl
yprobedherupperl i
p,andhi sbodyr esponded
automat
icall
y.He’ dpromisedhi mself ,
andGod, t
hat
hewouldkeepawayf r
om her .Ifhetookherbackt o
hispl
ace,therewasnowayi nhellhecouldkeephis
handsoffher ,anditdidn’
tlookl i
kethatwaswhat
shewanted, anyway.Whatt hehellkindofgame
wasshepl aying?

“Weneedt otal
k,Raj iv.
”Hervoicehadahusky
i
ntimat esoundtoit, andherchestr oseandf ellas
herbr eat
hingquickened.Hi seyesf ocusedonher
breastsandher ealizedwi t
hast abofl ustthathe
couldseeherni pplescl ear
lyoutl
inedt hroughthe
softlamb’swool .

Talki
ngwasthel
astthi
ngonhismindri
ghtnow.
“LeaveKni
ght
sbr
idge,Bi
jal
.”Hi
svoi
cesounded
hoar
se.“
Canyout
akeust
omyapar
tmentpl
ease?
”

Itdidn’ttakethem longt oreacht het al

lapartment
blockcl osetoChel seaHar bour,andhewavedt he
chauf f
erawaywi thaf eeli
ngofrel ief.Hetrust
edt he
mant obedi screet
.Bijalwast ool oyalforanything
else,buthel l
,whatmusti tl
ooklikel eavingJayat
thehospi talandgoi ngstraightt
ohi sapartment
withher ?

Raji
vbitbackawaveofsel f
-di
sgust.Itwasnothis
faul
t.Hehadt r
iedtobestr
ongandt akehert ot
he
house.Godwaspl ayi
nggameswi thhi m,pushi
ng
him andhisemptyoathstotheedge.Shewast he
onewhoi nsi
stedoncominghere,tempt i
nghim
withheri
nvit
ingbodyandintimatelooks.Andhere
hewaspl ayi
ngr i
ghti
ntoherhands.

“Let’
sgo,
”hesaidabruptl
y,thr
owingherbagover
hisshoul
derandclimbingthestepsthatl
edt
ot he
foyeroft
hebuil
ding,uncar
ingthatshehadtorunto
keepupwi
thhi
m.

Theysaidnot
hinggoingupintheli
ftand,
even
thoughheavoi
dedlookingather
,hewasst i
ll
tort
urousl
yawareofher.

Thefactt
hatt
heywouldsoonbeal
oneinhi
s
apar
tmentwasfi
ll
inghi
m wit
hamixtur
eofdread
anddesir
e.

Theapart
mentwasbr i
ght
,ir
respecti
veofthedull
dampweat her
.Thehugewindowst ookadvantage
ofever
yscrapofli
ghtast
hebui l
dingwast al
ler
thanmostoftheother
sar
ound.

Hedr oppedherbagontooneoft hesofasand

walkedstrai
ghtovertot
heliquorcabi
net.“
Would
youlikeadri
nk,becauseIcouldcert
ainl
yuseone?”
hesai dt
ight
ly.
Shewasst andi
ngint
hemi ddl
eofther
oom, her
handslinkedtoget
herandhereal
izedt
hatshe
di
dn’tseem assureofhersel
fnowasshehadbeen
befor
eint hecar.

“
Um,
yeswhynot
?”

Hewatchedhert
onguesneakoutt
omoi
stenher
upperl
ip.

Shewasner
vousal
lri
ght
.

“
I’
llhavewhat
everi
tisyou’
rehavi
ng.
”

Her
aisedhi
seyebr
ows.“
Whi
sky,
yousur
e?”

Shenoddedandheturnedt
opourhi
msel
fa
l
arge—andherasi
ngle—measur
eofwhi
skey,
sur
e
thatshewashavi ngthedr i
nktosteadyherner ves.
Wel l,j
ointhecl ub,sweetheart
,hethoughtwi t
ha
cyni caltwistofhisli
ps.Hehandedhert hecrystal
tumbl erandt henmovedback, keepingasaf e
distancebet weenthem beforesavoringamout hful
oft hebur ningliqui
d.Herpresenceher ewas
stretchinghi snervestobreakingpoint,par
ti
cularl
y
afterwhathe’ dgonethroughint hepasttwelve
hour s.

Heturnedt
ofaceher
.“Okay,nowdoyoumind
t
ell
ingmewhatthehellgameiti
syou’
repl
ayi
ng,
Maya?”

Shegaggedont heneatwhi
sky,hereyeswideand
i
nnocent
.“I
’m notplayi
nganygames, Raj
iv.How
canyousaythat?”

Heknockedbacktheremainderofhi
sdri
nk,
enjoyi
ngthewayitset
tl
edandeasedtheknoti
nthe
pitofhi
sstomach.Deposi
ti
ngthetumbl
erback
ont
othet
ray,
het
urnedhi
ssuspi
ciousgazeonher
.

Shepushedherhairbackwithnervousfingersand
henoti
cedhowt hemovementl i
ft
edherbr eastsand
separ
atedt
hecar di
ganfrom herdenim ski
rt,
off
eri
nghim anenti
cinggli
mpseofbar e,paleski
n.

Damn,thewhiskywasweakeni
nghisr
esol
ve,
causi
ngatwistofl
ustt
ocurldeepi
nsi
dehim.

“I’
m sayi
ngitbecauseIval
uemybrother
’sl
if
eandI
thi
nkitwoulddestroyhi
mt oknowt
herewas
somet hi
ngbetweenus.”I
twasawarningtohi
m,as
wellasher.

Hi
spul
sequi
ckenedasshecamet
owar
dhi
m.

“
You’
rewrongRaj
iv,
Jaydoesn’
twantme—noti
n
t
hatway.
”
Hisleanmouthcur
vedsar
doni
cal
ly.“
Iwi
shIcoul
d
bel
ievethat
.”

“Youhavetobeli
eveit.I
t’
sthet r
uth,
”shestopped
j
ustinchesawayfrom him,thoseemer al
deyes
warm andinvi
ti
ng.“Ican’
texplainbut,
hopeful
ly,
soonyou’l
lcometounder st
andever yt
hing.
”

Hernearnesswaspl ayi
nghavocwi thhissenses.
Whensher eachedoutandputhergl assdown
besidehis,hefeltthefi
rm swellofherbr east
againsthisarm.“ You’
retal
kinginriddles,Maya,”he
groundout ,asthebloodrushedt hr
oughhi svei
ns.

Thefreshj asmi nesmellofherhai

rwast easi
nghi s
nostr
ils,evokingmemor i
esallt
oovivi
d,andhe
l
ongedt opr esshi sfaceint
othesensualsil
kiness
ofit
,forgettingeverythi
ngbutthedesperateneedto
l
osehi msel finsideheragai
n.Tofeelt
hatfrenzied
r
eleasej
ustonemor
eti
me.

Herhandr eachedouttocuphi stautenedjawand

hefl
inched,gri
ppingherwristandyanki ngherup
agai
nsthim ashiscontrolf
inallysnapped,gi
ving
waytothef l
oodofoverwhelmi ngdesire.

“Wait
,Raj
iv.
”Shewasi
nhisarmsnow,
sof
tand
pli
ant
,buthermout
hevadedhi
s.

“ForGod’
ssake,
Maya.”Hesankhisfi
ngersi
ntoher
hair
,twi
sti
ngi
tpainf
ull
yinhi
sgrasp.“
Stoppl
aying
withme!”

“
Ineedyoutoknow—”Hermout hwaslushand
t
ormenti
ng,butshewoul
dn’
tlethi
m havei
t.“
Whyi
t
i
sI’
m doingthi
s.”

Raj
ivf
rowned,
hisbr
ainhavi
ngdi
ff
icul
tyf
unct
ioni
ng.
Herbr eastsswel l
edagainsthischest,thenippl
es
boringholesthr oughhisshir
t,andher eacheddown
tocupherper tbottom andpressitagainstt
he
achingr i
dgeofhi serecti
on.“Why? ”Healmost
groanedoutl oudatt hepurepleasureofit.I
fhe
didn’tgetinsi
dehersoon, hewasgoi ngtogocrazy.

“Seei
ngJay—itj
ustmademer
eal
izehowf
ragi
le,
howpr eci
ousl
if
eis.
”

Hesworesavagel
y,hi
smouthhungr
yforher
.“And
what
’st
hatgottodowitht
his,
wit
hus.”

“Iwantt
obewi
thyou,
event
houghIknowt
her
e’s
no

f
utur
eini
t.
”

Hi
steet
hgr
azedherexposedshoul
der
.“Idon’
twant
totalkaboutt
hef ut
ure.Idon’twanttot
hinkabouti
t.
AllIwantisyou,”hegrowleddeepinhisthroat
,
twist
ingherhairti
ghtinhisfi
st,hi
smouthf i
nal
ly
capturi
nghersinaf or
ceful,
plunderi
ngkiss.
Chapt
er28

Rajivwasf ul
lyaroused.Theswol l
enridgeofhi s
erecti
onpressedagai nstMaya' ssoftbell
yandshe
moanedsof t
ly,l
if
ti
ngher selfont ohertoessot hat
hewasnowcr adl
edint heyi eldi
ngf ol
dsbet ween
herlegs.Hermout hwasdr ivinghim wild.Her
swol l
enli
pssuckl i
nghist onguemadehi m break
outinaf i
lm ofsweat.

Hel i
ft
edherupbyherbot tom andcar
ri
edhertot
he
sofa,knowingthathesimplycoul
dn’
tmakeittot
he
bedroom thist
ime.Loweri
ngherontothesoft
l
eathercouch,hekneeledbetweenherthi
ghs.

Herski
rtwasal
mostatherwai
st,
someoft
hest
uds
havingpoppedopen, al
lowinghim atantal
izi
ngview
oflongbarelegsandvi r
ginalwhit
epanties.Wit
h
shakingfi
ngers,hepull
edopent herestofthestuds,
suppressi
ngtheur getoripoffherpanti
esand
thr
usthimselfint
oher .

“God,Maya,
doyouknowwhatyoudot ome?”he
breat
hedastheski
rtf
ellapar
t,exposi
ngherslender
hipst
ohisgaze.

Shestar
edupathi
mt hroughhalfclosedeyes.“I
knowwhatyoudotome, ”shewhisperedhuskil
y,
herl
egsspl
ayedhel
plesslyapar
t.

Her eacheddownt oundothebut

tonsofher
cardigan,exposi
ngherswoll
enbr
eastswit
hthei
r
duskyni ppl
estohishungr
yeyes.

Withat
ormentedgroan,
Raj
ivl
oweredhi
mselfi
nto
herwai
ti
ngarms.Itwaspur
eheaventof
eelhersof
t,
yieldingbodywi thhim kneelinginadorat
ionbef ore
her.Thepot entheatbet weenherl egsseeped
throught hebarrierofhistrouserstotheturgi
d
swel lofhisloi
ns.Herf i
ngerswer einhi
shair,her
nailsscrapingagai nsthisscalp,ashepulledhis
mout hfr
om her stodr agsomeai rintohi
slungs.
Hisbodywasr eadyt oexplode,yethewasst i
llful
ly
clothed.Asi fr
eadi nghismi nd,Maya’sfi
ngerssl i
d
downt ounbuttonhi sshirt
.

Herpertbreast
sfeltwonderfulagainsthisbare
chest,
hernippl
estightandi nvi
ti
ng.Heneededt o
tast
ethem, t
ofeelthem surgeagainsthistongue.
Hehear dhergaspwi t
hpleasureashepushedt hem
toget
her,wit
hhishandsandt hem suckledgreedi
ly
oneachoft hem i
nt ur
n.

Shebegant omover est

lessl
y,gri
ndingherhips
againsthi
sthrobbi
ngf l
eshanddr i
vinghim wil
d
withherimpati
ence.Heswor esavagely.Di
dn’tshe
real
izehisent
irebodywasr eadytoshatter
?The
achebet weenhi sthi
ghswasunbear abl
e.He
reacheddownt ounfastenhistrouserswit
hfi
ngers
thatshook, expel
li
ngagr oanofr el
iefashi
s
strai
ningfleshspill
edfreeandheshovedhi spants
downt ohisknees.Godknew, hewant edtobe
compl et
elynakedwi thher,buthisneedsweretoo
urgenttoal l
owt i
mef oranythi
ngelse.

Ashudderofpur
elusttorethr
oughhi
m ashercool
sl
enderf
inger
sclosedaroundhisr
ockharder
ecti
on.

“Don’t
.Forpity’
ssake,
Maya,don’
tdot
hat
.”Hi
s
voicebrokeashepushedherhandawayf
rom hi
s
engorgedflesh.

Withasuperhumaneffort
,hehookedhisf i
ngers
i
ntoherpantiesandpull
edthem down,overher
ankleboot
s.Hisbreat
hingwashar dandurgentas
hestareddownatherbeautif
ulnakedness,that
i
nviti
ngmoundbar el
ycoveredbysoftcopper yhai
r.
Runninghishandsuptheinsideofherlegstothe
softdampopeni ngbetweenhert hi
ghs,hespread
thosepoutingli
ps,sl
idinghisf i
ngersi
ntoher
drenchedcleft
.Herbodyj erkedwhenhef oundthat
swollennubandci r
cleditinsist
entl
y,watchingher
bodyt aut
enandunf oldthroughahazeofl ust
.

Heeasedonef ingerdeepinsideher ,
releasi
nga
gushofmoi st
ure.Whenhersl ickinnermuscl es
eagerl
yclaspedatthatfirmintrusi
on,Rajiv’
scontr
ol
tot
all
ygaveway.Lower inghimsel fontoher,he
suckedinhisbreathatthesensat i
onofhersmoot h
hotsil
kagainsthisswollenshaf t
.Thenwi th
unerr
ingaccuracy,hethrusthimselfint
ohereager
wait
ingfl
esh.

Hethrewbackhi sheadandgr oanedasher

musclesti
ghtenedar oundhim, grunti
ngwitheach
shortpowerf
ulthrustofhiships,strai
ningtohol
d
ontotheexquisi
tepleasureofit,t
ohol dbackthe
ti
dalwaveofsensat i
onbui l
dingupi nsi
dehim.But
asMayasobbedsof tl
y,di
gginghernai lsi
ntohis
backside,
hefeltheror
gasm shudderaroundhi
m,
andhisowncl i
maxexploded,waveaf t
erwave
sweepinghim awayinsweet,hotdel
ightashe
emptiedhimselfi
ntoheri
nvit
ingwomb.

*
**

Mayast retchedhersli
m achingbody, f
eeli
ngr at
her
l
ikeasl eekandsat i
sfi
edcat.Shet ur
nedherf aceto
gazeatt hedark,tousl
edheadsl eepi
ngbesi deher
andsmi ledsoftl
y.Itwasnowondert hathewasf ast
asl
eep.Themanhadt obeut terl
yexhausted.He
hadspentt henightbeforepacingthehospi t
alfl
oor,
wait
ingt oseeifhisbrotherwouldsurvive,andthen
hehadbr oughtherbackhereandmademadand
passionatelovetoherforhour sonend.

Aft
erthei
rfi
rstf
renzi
edcouplingint
heli
vingroom,
hehadcarri
edherint
ot heshowerandmadel oveto
heral
loveragai
n,butthist
imehe’dbeenexquisi
tel
y
sweetandindul
gent,
andsheshi ver
edwit
hdel i
ght
att
hememor
yofi
t.

Shehadl ickedandt astedever yinchofhi sbody,

movi ngdownwar dt okneeli nf rontofhim.Hehad
tri
edt ostopher ,ofcour se,butt histimeshe’dbeen
determined.Li f
ewast ooshor t.Jayhadmadeher
reali
zet hat.Shewasdet ermi nedt omaket hemost
ofever ymi nuteshehadt oget herwi t
ht hi
smanwho
wast heonl yonei nheruni ver set hatcouldmake
herfeelsomi ndlesslywi l
dandpassi onat
e.

Soshehadknel tbef orehim, str

okingawayhi s
prot
estsandf inall
yt akenhi minhermout h.Rajiv
seemedcr azedbyt hesi ghtandsensationofher
l
ipsdrivi
nghi mt otheedgeandback.Shehadl oved
thefeelofrock-hardf l
eshcover edbysuchf ineskin
andtakenhi m deepi ntohermout h.Hearinghim
gaspandgr oanhadonl yeggedheron.Leani nghis
arm heavi
lyagai nsttheshowerwal l
,whil
et heother
cuppedherhead, hegent l
ythrusthimselfintoher
warm, welcomingmout h.Hisheadhungweakl y
fr
om hi
stautshoul
dersashegazeddowninagony
atheri
nnocent
,exper
iment
almini
str
ati
ons.

Final
ly,hecouldtakenomor eanddraggedherup,
l
ockingherl egsaroundhim,poundi
ngmer ci
lessl
y
i
nt oher,br
ingingthem bot
htoashatter
ingorgasm
thatseemedt ogoon, andon,andon.

Theyhadevent uall
yendedupher einthebedand,
byt hatti
me, she’
df elttheneedofasof tmat tr
ess
beneat hher.Deli
ghtingi ntheawar enessofj ust
howmuchpowersheseemedt ohol doverhi m, she
ranherf i
nger soverherpr otest
ingthighmuscl es,
enjoyingeveryacheandpai n.I
twaswonder fult o
watchhi seyesdar kenandhi sbreathi
ngqui cken
withjustther i
ghttouchorl ookf r
om her .Andshe
woul dlovetospendmanyhour sdi scoveringjust
howf art
hisuncont roll
ablepassioncoul dtaket hem.

Shefr
owned.Hehadtoknowthatt
hiswasjusta
passi
ngi
nter
lude.Di
dn’
the?Event
hough,
after
maki ngl oveont hebed, Raj i
vhadt akenheri nt
othe
kitchenandmadet hem bot hasandwi ch, the
conver sationhadcent r
edmai nlyroundherandher
upcomi ngj obatt heBr adf ieldCent er.Heseemed
i
nt erest edi nt hei ssuesf aci ngt heyout handher
rolewi thint heCent er.From hi spertinentquest i
ons,
i
twasobvi oust hatheknewal otaboutnon- profi
t
andnon- gover nment alor gani zati
ons.Mayar ecal
led
Jayt ellinghert hatRaj i
vwasi nvolvedwi t
hmany
char iti
esi nI ndi a,thathewasawel l-knownand
respect edf igur eovert here.Ofcour se, thatwasj ust
anot herr easonwhyheneededanI ndi anwi f
eathi s
side, shesur mi sedgl umly.Anyway, itwaspl easant
tot alkaboutt hingsunr el
at edt othei rcur rent
situat i
on, thingst hatdidn’ tleadt oar gument sor
tensi ons.Conver sat i
onswhi chdidnotl eaveher
feelingdepr essedanduncomf ort
abl ewi t
hher sel
f
andherr olei nt hiscompl exandcompl etelyunique
fami lyofhi s.

Oncethey’
dfini
shedeati
ng,hehadinsi
stedon
t
akingherbacktothebedroom and,
gett
ingoutan
i
mpr essi
ve-l
ooki nghairdryer,pr
oceededt odryher
dampenedhai r.Lovinglybrushingit,hehelditupt
o
hisfaceinawayt hatcausedamel ti
ngdesiredeep
i
nherbody.Herheadynewf oundpower shad
i
ncitedhertopr esshim backont othebedand
cl
imbont opofhi m,teasi
ngandt ormenti
ng
him—unt i
l,
withonesmoot hmove, he’df
li
ppedher
ontoherbackandt akencont r
ol,hispowerfulbody
seducinghersint osweetsur r
ender.

Butnot hinghadbeensai d,thatnaggi nglit

tl
evoi ce
atthebackofhermi ndechoedi nsi st
ently.They
hadnotspokenaboutJayatal l,andshef el
tthatif
theyhad, shepr obablywoul dhavebl urtedoutt he
truth.For , afterwhathadpassedbet weent hem,
Mayaknewt hatshecoul dnol ongerdenyRaj iv
anyt hing.Theonl ywayt opreventt hi
sfrom
cont inuingwasbyst ayingawayf rom him.Assoon
asJaywaswel lagainand, hopef ull
ybackwi thKur t
,
shewasgoi ngbackhomet ogetonwi t
hherl i
feand
thisaf fairwoul dend.I twasdevast at
ingevent o
cont empl at e, butsher efusedtobecowedbyi t.It
woul
dbehellnotseei
nghim agai
n,butshewasnot
pr
eparedt
obehismi st
ressor…whatever
…ont
he
si
de.

Sher eachedoverhi ssleepingform,car efulnotto

dist
ur bhim, andpeer edatt heti
meonhi sslim
plat
inum wat chlyingont hebedsidet able.Itwas
almostf i
vep. m.,andMayacoul dn’thelpwonder i
ng
howJaywasdoi ng.Hadhemanagedt ogethol dof
Kurt?Itwoul dbewonder fulift
heydeci dedt o
reconcil
e, anditwoul dsur el
ydoJaygoodt ohave
theconst antsuppor tofthepersont hathel oved.
Shesi ghedt oher sel
f.Woul dhismot hereverbe
abletoaccepti t
?

Pressingherli
pstothesmoot hbrownski nof
Raji
v’sshoulder
,Mayacl osedhereyesand,
i
gnor i
ngallthedoubtsthatwereniggli
ngather
brai
n,savoredthepleasureofj
ustf eel
inghi
sbody
againsthers.
Thei nsi
stentr
ingi
ngofthephonecomingf
rom t
he
l
ivingroom awakenedherandRaji
v,wholi
ft
edhis
sleepyhead.

“
God,
Maya,
haveIbeenoutf
orl
ong?
”

Herakedhist
ousl
edhairbackwit
halazyhand,and
Mayafeltast
aboflust
.God,shewasasinsat
iabl
e
ashewas.

“Aboutanhour,”shemurmur
edashishandmoved
possessi
velyfr
om hert
hight
othecurveofher
breast
.“Butyouneededther
est
.”

“Hmm,Iguessdi
d,”heagr
eed,
pressi
nghi
sli
ps
agai
nst

t
hedel
icat
ecurveofherj
aw.“
Youmakemef
eell
ike
I
’
m si
xteenagai
n.”
Thephone,whi
chhadstoppedringi
ng,beganagai
n
andherai
sedhishead,
awor r
yinglookcloudi
nghi
s
eyes.

“Doyout hi
nkitcouldbet
hehospit
al?
”he
quest
ioned,drawingawayfr
om herment
all
yaswel
l
asphysical
ly.

“I
tcoul
dbe.We’resupposedtovi
sitthi
sevening,
”
shesai
d,tr
yingt
okeept het
remblefrom hervoi
ce.
Thewholeatmospherehadsuddenlycooled.

“
God!
”heexclai
med,cli
mbi ngswif
tl
youtoft
hebed.
“
Whatifhe’
sfoundoutthatyou’
rehere?
”

Eveninthediml ightMayacouldseehisfacehad
paledatthethought,andshebitbackthewor ds:It
doesn’
tmat t
er,becauseactual
lyitdi
dmat t
er.Jay
wouldbedevast atedtoknowthatshewassl eeping
wit
hhisbrot
her
,andshedidn’twanttoupsethimin
t
hestatehewasinj
ustnow.Raj i
vstrodeoutofthe
r
oom andafewsecondslaterthephonestopped
r
ingi
ng.

Throwi ngbackt hecover swithagr owingsenseof

despondency, Mayawi shedt hatshecoul dput
somecl otheson, butherbagwasi nthelivingr oom
andt heski r
tandcar diganshe’dbeenwear ingwer e
probabl ystil
lst r
ewnacr ossthelivi
ngroom f loor.
Thewhi tebathr obeshe’ dwornear l
ierwasl yingat
thebot tom oft hebed.Wi thashiverrunning
throughher ,shequi ckl
ypul l
editonandst ood
uncer t
ainlyint hemi ddleofther oom.Shewoul d
wai tuntilhefinishedont hephonebef oregoi ngto
collectherclot hes.Wal kingacrosstothewi ndow,
shepul ledthecur tai
nsopenj ustenought ogaze
outatt hedul lsky.

Ithadst
oppedrai
ning,
buttherewasanat mospher
e
ofdampgraynessabout.Eventher
iverl
ookedquit
e
mur kyanddismal.Ratherl
ikehermood, she
recognized,
feel
ingsuddenlycl
osetotear s.Damnit
,
shewassot i
redofthi
swhol echar
ade,thisdecei
t!
Andt hi
swasnotj ustaboutJayanymore.I t
concernedRajivwhowasbei ngputthr
oughhel lf
or
hissupposedsins.
Chapt
er29

Earli
er,i
ntheshower ,Mayacoul dn’thelpnoti
cing
thatRaji
vhadalsol ostwei
ght .Hishipboneswer e
mor eprominent
,hisstomach, almostconcave.Thi s
sit
uationwasdireandcoul dnotcont inue.Oncehe
knewt hetr
uth,t
heycoul dbothgetonwi ththei
r
l
ives,butshecouldnotcont i
nuet oseehi m.The
thoughttwist
edthroughherlikeakni fe,andshe
squeezedhereyesshutagai nstt hepain.

Sheneededtobest
rong,t
obereadyf
orwhat
ever
bl
owsfateheldi
nst
oreforher
.
Raj
ivre-ent
eredthebedr
oom,nakedandlooki
ng
moreupbeat.“I
twasJay,”hesai
d.“ThankGod,he
di
dn’tknowyouwer ehere.
”

Shestaredathim withami xtur

eofsympat hyand
anger.Howwoul dhef eelonceheknewt herewas
onlyf
r i
endshi
pbet weenherandJay?Woul dhebe
happyandr el
ieved,eagertoconti
nueseeingheron
thesi
de, hi
sdirt
ylit
tlesecret
?Wasshest rong
enought odenyhim?

“Maya,areyoual
lri
ght?”Hemovedtowardher.
“Haveyouheardawor dI’
vesai
d?”Hisexpr
essi
on
hardenedasshesteppedawayfrom hi
m.

“
I’
m sorr
y.Whatwer
eyousaying?Howishe?”she
murmured,
hol
dingt
helapel
softherobet
ight
ly
t
ogether
.

Raj
ivshookhi
sheadandsi
ghed.“
Hesoundedgood,
al
mostexcit
edreal
ly,
”her
emarked,
rubbi
ng
absent
lyatt
hehardmuscl
esofhischest
.“He
wantstoseeme—andyou.Heaskedmet opi
ckyou
uponmywayt othehospi
tal
.”

“
Well,t
hat’
sarel
ieft
hen,
isn’
tit
?”shepronounced
t
ight
ly,andhi
seyessear
chedherface.

“You’
reangrywit
hme,ar
en’tyou?
”hemurmured,
andsheturnedawayf
rom hiscar
essi
ngeyes.

“
Ineedt
oputonsomecl
othes,
”shest
ated,
wal
king
t
owardt
hedoor
.

“ForGod’
ssake, Maya, I
’m concernedforthewell
-
beingofmybr other,
”heappealed.“Doyoudespi se
mef ort
hat?I’
m afraidofhowhe’ l
lreactifhef
inds
outaboutus.He’sver yvul
nerableatthemoment ,
andyouknowt hat.
”
Sheturnedt
ofacehim.“Andwhatifhedi
dn’
t
mind?”shequest
ioneddel
iber
atel
y.“
Wouldt
hat
pl
easeyou?”

Hestaredatherbl ankl
y.“I
fhedi dn’
tmi
nd?”She
nodded,watchinghim careful
ly.“I
’
dbeext
remel
y
happyandrelieved,ofcourse,
”heconti
nuedwit
ha
fr
own.

Maya’sexpressi
onwasscept i
cal now.“Real
ly?”Her
l
ipstwist
edwr yl
y.“It
houghtperhapsImi ghtjustbe
acaseoft hefor
biddenfr
uitt
astingthatmuch
sweeter.
”

Hisfacebecameacol dmaskasthei mpli

cati
onsof
herwordsdawnedonhi m,andMayashi veredwi
th
suddenregret
.Whyhadshesai dthat?Hehaddone
nothi
ngtowar r
antsuchanaccusation,
andher
heartshr
ankatthehurtandangerinhiseyes.
“Yout hi
nkIwoul ddeli
berat
elysetouttoseducemy
brother’
sgirl
fr
iendjustfort
hehellofit?
”heground
out.“That’
sbasical
lywhatyou’resaying,i
sn’
tit
,
Maya? ”

Therewascensureinhi
sst
eelybl
ueeyes,andshe
wantedtorunandbeghisf
orgi
veness,
butfel
t
root
edtothespot.

“Well,i
tseemsyouropi ni
onofmehasr eachedan
al
l-t
imel ow—andIpr obablydeserveit
.Godknows,
mybehavi orhasn’
tbeenpar ti
cularl
yhonor abl
eof
l
ate.Justdon’ tfor
getwhoi nsti
gatedusspendi ng
ti
meal oneher etoday. ”Hemovedt owardt hewal
k-
i
ncl oset,hisfacetightwi t
hself-
deprecation.“
I
suggestyougetdr essednow.Jaysounded
i
mpat ienttoseeus, sothesoonerwegetoutof
herethebet ter.
”

Mayawentt
ogetherbagfrom t
hemainroom.
“
Justgi
vemeafewmi nut
estogetdr
essed,”she
sai
donherr et
urn,
avoidi
nghi sgazeandsighi
ng
wit
hr el
iefwhenhef i
nall
ylefttheroom.Shehadto
concentrat
eonJaynow, herreasonforbei
ngher
e.

Shehadt hrownachangeofcl othi

ngand
underweari ntoherbagi nEdinburgh,beingina
stateofshockatt hetime.Nowshepul ledoutt he
skinnyjeansandwhi t
e,l
ongsleevedT-shirtshe’d
broughtwi t
hher .Hersuedej acketwasi nthe
l
ounge.She’ dneedt hataswellwiththeweat her
beingsocoolanddi smal.Makingherwayi ntothe
en-sui
tebat hroom, shepushedt heerot
icmemor i
es
oftheshowert hey’dsharedearli
eroutofhermi nd,
i
gnor i
ngt hewat erpuddlesanddampt owelsst r
ewn
acrossthef loor.

Mayagr abbedthebrushhe’ dusedtodryherhair

,
tryi
ngt otameitsdishevell
ed,tousl
edstate.
Everythingaroundherr emindedheroftheirl
ove-
maki ng,andittookallherself
contr
olt
of ocuson
thejobathand.Ther ewasnot imetoshower,so
shewashedher sel
fatthebasi n,fi
ll
edwi t
hr egret
forspoil
ingthemoodbet weent hem.Maki ngher
wayi nt
ot hebedroom agai
n, shepul l
edonherankl e
bootsand, gl
ancinginthelongmi r
ror,deci
dedshe
l
ookedr easonablypresent
abl e,exceptforher
fl
ushedcheeksandl i
ps—andt hedazedexpr essi
on
i
nhereyes.Sur ely,noonewoul dknowbyl ookingat
herthatshehadj ustspentthepastf ewhour s
havingwi l
dandwant onsexwi thamanwhowas
wayoutofherr each.

Takingadeep,st
eadyi
ngbreat
h,shemadeherway
tothemainroom j
ustast
heinter
com buzzed.

“ThatmustbeBij
al.
”Raj
ivsai
d,hi
seyesroami
ng
overher
,li
nger
ingonherswoll
enmouth.

“Bi
jal.
”Heli
ft
edther ecei
vertohi
searasMaya
shruggedhersuedejacketon,wai
ting.“
Sor
ry
Jackson,whati
sit?”hesaidter
sely.
SheknewJacksont obetheconcier
gewhomanned
theopulentl
obbydownstair
s.Al
thoughshehad
neverbeenproper
lyint
roduced,
shehadheardRaj
iv
greethi
m byname.

“Okay,sendherup.
”Hesl
ammedt herecei
verback
ontothewalluni
twit
hunnecessar
yfor
ce.“Shi
t!
”

Shegapedathi
m,sti
llnotaccust
omedt
ohear
ing
hi
m swear.“
What?
”

Hisgazet ouchedher sandsli

daway.“ Icompletel
y
for
got.Claraa—f ri
end—wascomi ngr oundtoday.”
Rakinghisf i
ngersthroughhishai
r,hef i
nall
ylooked
atherwiththatflat,
coollookshewasbecomi ng
famili
arwith.“Sheneedssomeadvi ce—busi ness
advi
ce—st ocks,shares,t
hattypeofthing.”

Mayashovedherhandsi
ntoherj
acketpocket
s,not
sayi
nganyt
hing.

“Shei
nherit
edsomepr oper
tyandf undswhenher
fat
herpassedaway, ”hecont i
nued, t
houghshe
wasn’
treall
yinterested.“Nowsheneedssome
advi
ce,doesn’treal
lyunderstandinvestment
s,
managingfinances,thatsortofthi
ng.”

Hewasgi vingherf artoomuchi nfor

mat i
on,and
Maya’ sstomachhol l
owed.Shedi dn’
twantt omeet
thisClara.Andshedi dn’
twanttohearabouthi m
givingherbusi nessadvice.Thedoorbellpealedand
Mayat ookast epbackwar dsfeel
ingtrapped,not
want i
nganyonet oknowshewasher einhis
apar t
ment ,especial
lynotoneofhi swomen, forshe
wassur ethat’
swhot hi
swas.

Raj
ivopenedt
hedoortoapet
it
e,str
iki
ng,
blonde
womanwi t
hawarm smil
eonherface.
“Raji
v,howareyou,dar
li
ng?”Sheclaspedhi
s
shouldersandki
ssedbothhischeeks.“
Youlook
ti
red,baby,
”shesai
d,st
il
lholdi
ngontohim.

Mayawat chedt heirint

erchangewi t
hanunpl easant
,
avidcuriosity.Thewoman, Cl ara,
lookedtobei nher
l
at et
went ies,butitwasdi ffi
culttosay.Wi thher
sl
eekl ystyledhairandper fect l
ymadeupf ace,t
here
wasanai rofsophi sti
cati
onabouthert hatgavethe
i
mpr essionofsomeoneol der .Wearingashor t
,
blackskirt,fi
ttedwhi t
eshirt,andal ong,black
tr
enchcoat ,shelookedl i
keshe’ djuststeppedout
ofaf ashionmagazi ne.

“Cl
ara.”Raji
vtookast
epback, f
orci
nghert
odrop
herhands.“Thisi
sMaya.”Heheldouthi
sarm and
i
tforcedMayat omovetowardthem wi
thasmuch
composur easshecoul
dmust er.

Cl
aragazedupather
,hereyesnar
rowingeverso
sl
ight
ly.“
Maya,
hownicetomeetyou.”Sheheldout
asmal
l,
mani
cur
edhand.

Mayahesi
tat
ed,
justasecondt
henshooktheother
woman’
shand,l
ett
inggoasquickl
yaspossi
ble.
“
Howdoyoudo? ”

“Cl
ara,”Raji
vinter
ject
edtoMaya’ sreli
ef.The
womanhadbeensummi ngherup, t
akinginher
worn,suedejacket,hi
ghstreetclothes,andscuff
ed
bootsinonesweepi ngglance,leavingMayaf eel
ing
awkwar dlyt
allandinadequate.“Maya’saf ri
endof
Sanjay’s.
”

Shewassopol i
shedandsopetit
e.Evenwitht
hose
ki
ll
er,
sti
let
tobootson,shehar
dlyreachedRaj
iv’
s
chi
n,andMayaf el
tli
keafrumpybeanstal
kbeside
her
.

“
Sanjay’
shadan—acci
dent
,”hecont
inued,
and
Mayatri
edtokeepf
ocusonwhathewassaying.
“
That
’swhyIcompl
etel
yfor
gotaboutourmeet
ing.
Wewerej
ustonourwaytothehospi
tal
.”

“Oh,dear
.”Cl
arasoundedqui
teconcer
ned.“
Ishe
goingtobeal
lright
?”

“Yes,he’
sgoingtobef i
ne.Hetri
ppedandf elldown
somest air
s,buthe’
sokaynow, t
hankGod, ”helied
smoot hl
yandMayaknewshehadt ogetaway.
“We’l
ljusthavepostponeunt
ilnextweek,okay?”

“Canyoupleaseexcuseme?”Hervoicewashusky
withemot
ion,butri
ghtnow,shedidn’
treal
lycar
e.“
I
needtogotot hel
oobefor
ewel eave.
”

Bef
oreeit
herofthem coul
dspeak, shemadeher
waydownt hepassageandstrodeintot
hebedroom.
Aboutt
oclosethebedroom door,shehear
dClara’
s
l
augh.
“
Raj
iv,
younaught
yboy,
”Cl
arasai
d.

Mayagr
ippedt
hedoor
knob.

“Idi
dn’tknowyouwereint
ocr
adl
esnat
chi
ng,
darl
ing.Howoldisshe?
”

Quietl
yMayacl osedthedoorandmadeherwayt o
thebathroom, seati
nghersel
font heclosedli
dof
thetoil
etandst ari
ngdownatt hei
rmessont he
bathroom fl
oor,waiti
ngforhi
mt of i
nishconversi
ng
withhismistress.Forshewashi smi st
ress,
ofthat
Mayahadnodoubt .
Chapt
er30

Bij
alhadcall
edupwhi leClarawast her
e.Hewas
wait
ingdownst ai
rst
ot akethem tothehospi
tal.I
t
hadbeenar el
ieftosendCl araonherway,before
shecouldaskanymor e,snidequesti
onsabout
Maya.Chri
st,Raji
vwasf ur
iouswithhimsel
ffor
forgett
ingthedamnmeet ingwi t
hher.Butcoul
dhe
reall
yblamehi mself,wi
thall t
hathadhappenedin
thepastt wentyfourhours?Itwasnowonderhe’ d
forgott
ent hestupi
dmeet ing,whichhe’dagr
eedto
simplyt oassuagehisguiltforbreaki
ngitof
fwith
her.

Mayahadexi t
edthebat hr
oom afterCl
araleft
,
l
ookingpal eanddr awn,andRajivcoul
djust
i
magi newhatwasgoi ngoni nherhead.He
wonder edwhatdirtydeedsherimaginati
onwas
conjuringup.Butthatdesolatel
ookinhereyeshad
l
efthi mfeeli
ngguiltyashell
.Themeet i
ngwi t
h
Clarahadbeenexact l
ywhathe’dsaid—assist
ing
andadvi si
ngheronhowt ohandleherlatefat
her’
s
estate.Thei
rrelat
ionshiphadbeenoverthemi nute
he’dseteyesonMaya.Buthowcoul dheconvince
heroft hat
?

“
I’
m sor
ryaboutthat
,Maya,
”hesai
d,resi
sti
ngthe
t
emptat
iontotouchher
.“Wi
thal
lthat
’shappened,I
compl
etel
yfor
gotshewascomi
ngt
oday.
”

“
She’
syourmi
str
ess,
isn’
tshe?
”

Herubbedthebackofhisneck.“
Ex-
mist
ress.It
old
you,
Ihaven’tt
ouchedanotherwomansi
ncewe
met.
”

Sheshr ugged,crossi
ngherarmsbeneat
hher
breasts,avoi
dinghisgaze.“
It
’sr
eal
lynoneofmy
business.”

“
Maya,
lookatme,
please.
”

Shefor
cedhersel
ftol
ookathi
m,hereyest
ell
ing
hi
m nothi
ng.

“
It
’soverwi
thmeandher
.Evenbef
oreImetyou,
it
wasonitswayout,”hesaid.“
Today’
smeet i
ngwas
compl
etel
yinnocent.It
oldyou,Iwasjustgi
vingher
somebusinessadvice.
”

Shenoddedherheadabsent ly,
movingbacktoward
thebedr
oom.“ Ineedtogetmybag,”shesaid.“
It
’l
l
bebestifIst
ayatt hehouseinKni
ghtsbr
idge
toni
ghtandweneedt ohurr
y.Jaymustbe
wonderi
ngwher ewear e.
”

“No!
”Hehadt ocl
enchhisf i
ststopreventhimself
fr
om grabbi
ngher.“
Please,stayher
et oni
ght.Idon’t
wantyoustayi
nginthatbighousealone.Besides,
”
headded.“Weneedtotalk—later
—afterwe’veseen
Sanj
ay.”

Shedisappearedintothebedroom andret
urneda
fewsecondslater,herbagslungoverhershoul
der
.
“Ther
e’snothi
ngt otalkabout,
Raji
v.Weneedt ogo
tothehospit
al,now.”
Hewantedtoroarhisf
rustrat
ion—athimsel
f,ather
,
attheworl
d,butshewasrightaboutonethi
ng.
Theyneededtoleavef
orthehospitalnow.

Thedrivetothehospit
alwascomplet
edinsil
ence,
eventhoughtheglassparti
ti
onbet
weenthem and
Bij
alwasclosed.Eventhoughhewasdesperatet
o
convi
ncehert hatt
herewasnothi
ngbetween
himselfandClara,
desperat
etoconvi
ncehertostay
theni
ghtwi t
hhim, nowwasnottheti
me.

Heneededt ofocusonhisbrotherandthefactt
hat
Sanjayhadalmostlosthi
slif
elastnight
.God,wasit
onlylastni
ght
?Itfel
tli
kehisbrother
’ssui
cide
att
empthadhappeneddaysago.

*
**

Mayast
aredoutoft
hewi
ndowatt
hedar
keni
ng
Londonstreet
s.Theweat herwasst i
lldi
smal,j
ust
l
ikehermood, butsheshruggedt hethoughtaway.
ItwasSundayevening,sot heroadswer enott
hat
busyanditdidn’
ttakethem longtoreachthe
pri
vatecl
inici
nHol l
andPar k.

Thenur seusher
edt hem t
hrought oJay’sroom.The
fi
rstthi
ngshenot i
cedwast helookofserenit
yon
theyoungerman’ sface.I
thadbeenmanymont hs
sinceMayahadseenhi mlikethisand,toher,this
wast he“ol
dJay,”theeasy-going,chari
smatic
youngmansher emember edf r
om Edinburgh.Then
amovementatt hewi ndowcaughthereye.

“
Kur
t!
”

Shecouldhardl
ybelieveit
,butitwasKurt
,wit
hhis
ser
iousblueeyes,
fairhair
,andgoateebeard,
comingtowardher,anexpressi
onofuncertai
nty
marri
nghisattr
act
ivef eat
ures.
Raj
ivsti
ffenedasshehuggedtheyoungSwissman
ent
husiasti
cal
ly.“Whendi
dyouar r
ivei
nLondon?
”
sheasked,gri
nningathi
minamazement .“
Jaywas
j
usttr
yingtophoneyouearli
ertoday.
”

“
Iknow,Iknow.”HisEngli
shwassoftandpr
ecise
wit
hjustahintofanaccent.“
Jayhasbeent
ell
ing
meallaboutit
.”

Hesmiledhesi
tantlyatRaj
ivand, f
orthefir
stt
ime,
Jayspoke.“
Raji
v, Iwantt
oi ntr
oduceyout oavery
cl
osefri
endofmi ne.Kurt
,thisismybr ot
herRaj
iv.
”
Ther
ewaspr i
deandconvi ctioninhisvoi
ce.

“
Howdoyoudo?
”

Kurtwasexceedi
nglypol
it
eandMayacoul dseehe
wasapprehensi
veaboutthismeeti
ng.Theyshook
handsandshenoticedahintofper
plexi
tyonRaji
v’
s
face.Hemovedtowardt
hebedandt
ookhi
s
brother
’shandi
nhis.

“Youl
ookgreat,
Sanjay,
”hesai
dsof
tl
y,st
ari
ngi
nto
hisbr
other
’sshi
ningeyes.

“Iknow.”Jaybeamed.“Ifeelgr
eat,Raji
v.”Het ur
ned
toMayaandKur t,st
il
lholdi
ngontohi sbrother’
s
hand.“Maya,coul
dyout akeKurttothecant eenfor
acof f
ee.Hemustbepar chedwithallthetalki
ng
we’vebeendoing.Ineedtospeaktomybr other
alone.
”

Shecaughtthelookthatpassedbet
weenJayand
Kurtandherheartl
eaptforthem.“
Ofcour
se.We’
ll
seeyouguyslater.
”

Raji
vgaveherasearchi
ngl
ookandMayasmi ledat
hi
m, theconf
li
ctsbet
weent
hem fadi
ngint
othe
backgroundnowthathi
sbr
otherwasfi
nal
lygoing
totel
lhimthetr
uth.And,
hopefull
y,putallt
he
agonizi
ngdecei
tandpretencebehindthem for
good.

Afterl
ocatingtheimpressi
vecafet
eri
aandhelpi
ng
themselvestocof f
ee,MayaandKurtfoundaquiet
tableoverl
ookingthegardens,
andKurtrel
ayedt
o
herwhathadhappenedwhenhe’ dphonedthe
houset hepreviouseveni
ng.

Mayacover
edhercheekswi t
hherhandsoncehe’d
f
ini
shedtal
king.“I
tmusthavebeenater
ri
bleshock
f
oryou,
”shesai d,
notwanti
ngtothi
nkaboutwhat
mayhavehappenedifhehadnotphoned.

“Yes,itwas.
”Hiseyesdar
kenedatthememory.“I
fearedhewasdeadwhenIhear dthepani
cinthe
housekeeper’
svoice.
”

Sher
eachedf
orhi
shandacr
osst
het
abl
e.
“Suchr ealizati
onscanputadi ff
erentper spective
ontoever ything,”hecontinued,gainingst rength.
“Sincegoi ngbackt oBern,Ihadbeenwai ti
ngand
hopi ngf orJayt ocontactme.Iwasmi ssinghi m
badl y,butIwasal soverystubborn.Het oldyou
whathadhappenedi nEdinburgh,yes? ”Shenodded.
“Ishoul dnothavebeensohar donhi m.I twas
selfishofme.Yousee, mypar entshaveaccept ed
thatI ’
m gay.I t’sbeeneasyf orme, but ,ofcour seit’
s
differentforJay, comingfrom anI ndianf amily.But
Imadet hatst upidult
imatum—”Heshuthi seyes,
squeezi ngherhand.“ ThankGodhe’ sal lr i
ght!
”

“Kurt
,”shesai dearnestl
y.“Youmust n’
tblame
yoursel
f.Jayhasot herissuestodowithhisfat
her.
Maybenowhecanwor kthroughthem,especi
all
y
withyouar ound.”Shepaused.“ Youaregoingtobe
around,aren’tyou?”

“
Ofcour
se.Wehavemademanypl
ansdur
ingt
his
aft
ernoonand,asyouhaveprobablyguessed,Jay
i
sgoi ngt
otellhi
sbrot
heraboutus.”Hi
sexpr essi
on
changed.“
Doyout hi
nkhewillmind?”

“
No.”Sheshookherhead.“
He’sbeenext
remely
wor
riedaboutJay,
soIthi
nkhe’l
lbequi
terel
ieved.
”

Kurtsmil
edbroadly,
remindingheroft
heir
uncompli
catedli
vesinEdinburghonceagain.“
And
maybealsobecauseofyou? ”He’dhadsucha
wickedsenseofhumor.

“
Howdoyoumean?
”

“Well
,Inoti
cetherei
ssomethingdif
fer
entabout
you.Iam notsurewhati
tis,
buttherei
sdefini
tel
ya
dif
fer
ence.”

Shef
lushedathi
swor
ds.“
It
’sbeenaver
yhect
ic
day,Kur
t,anddon’
tfor
getIwasi
nEdi
nbur
ghj
ust
thi
smorning.
”

“Youmisunderstandme, Maya,Idi
dnotsaythat
youlookedtir
ed,justdi
ffer
ent
.”Heconti
nuedto
smil
e,halfapologeti
cal
ly.“
Isi
tbecauseofRaji
v?”

Shealmostdroppedt
hesteami
ngcoff
eeontoher
l
ap.“I
—Idon’tknowwhatyoumean,Kurt
?”

Heignoredherfumbli
ngavoidanceandconti
nued.
“Heisveryat
tract
ive,
Ithi
nk,
butnotl i
keJay.
More…howwoul dyousay?…mor etough.
”

Shenodded,
knowi
ngexact
lywhathemeant
.

Kurt
’seyesnarr
owedthoughtf
ull
y.“Yeshei
squit
e
opposi
tetoJay,andIf
eltsomethi
ngbetweenyou
andhim,Ithi
nk.Soper
hapsthatiswhyyoulook
di
ff
erent
—mor eofawomannow,
nol
ongert
he
i
nnocentgi
rlIknewi
nEdi
nbur
gh.
”

Maya’seyeswidenedathislastcomment,wasshe
moreofawomannow?Yes, shesuddenl
yrealized.
Hewasr ight
.Shedidfeelmoreofawoman.The
exper
iencesshe’
dbeent hr
oughi nt
hesepast
weeks—goodandbad—hadchangedherf orever.

“
Jayt oldmehi sfamil
ythi
nksyouandhim ar
e
l
overs.”Hegrinnedatthi
s.“Soper
hapsRaji
vwil
lbe
r
eli
evedt oknowt hati
tisnott
rue?
”

Mayast areddownathercof f
ee,muchasshehat ed
deceivingpeople,shecoul dn’
tletKurtknowhowf ar
herrelationshi
pwi t
hRaj i
vhadgone.“ Kurt
,ther
e’s
nochanceofar el
ati
onshipbet weenRaj i
vandI .
”
Therewasnodecei tinwhatshewassayi ngnow.
“He’
spl anningonmar ryi
nganI ndianwoman.I t’
s
whatheal wayswant edand, r
ightnow, aswespeak,
hismot herisinIndialookingforabr i
deforhim.”
Kur
t’
sbl
ueeyeswidened.“
Hismot
heri
slooki
ngf
or
abri
def
orhi
m? ”

Shesmi l
edtight
lyatt
heironyofi
tal
l.“
Iknowit
soundscrazy,butmaybeJaycanhelpyouto
underst
andthesituat
ion.
”

“IneverknewJaycamef
rom sucha…a
conventi
onalI
ndi
anfami
ly.
”

“
Iknow,
Kur
t.
”

Whocoul dhaveguessed,whent heywerealll

ivi
ng
i
nEdinburgh,thattheyoungandcar ef
reeJayhad
grownupi nsuchaconser vat
ivef amil
y,fi
ll
edwith
whatshesawasol dfashi
oned, aswellas
tr
adit
ionalcustoms?Customst hatwer ecompletel
y
al
ientopeoplel i
keherandKur t
.
Kur
tfrowned,obvi
ouslyconcernedabouthowthi
s
wouldimpacthisr
elat
ionshi
pwi thJay.“
Yousay
Raj
ivwillbeokaywit
hhisbrotherbeinggay,
but
whatabouthismother?”

Mayahadt oschoolherfeatures,notwanti
ngto
spoilt
hishappyreuni
onf orKurt,butsheknewin
herbonesthatAnna’sreacti
ont oherson’s
sexuali
tywasgoingtobever ydiffer
enttoRaj
iv’
s.

“It
hinkyoushoul
dtakethisonestepatati
me,
Kurt
,”shesai
dcaref
ull
y.“Let
’sseehowitgoeswi
th
Raji
vfir
st,
okay?”

Henodded, somewhatreassuredbyheranswer,
andMayasmi l
edwarmly,givi
nghishandanother
squeeze.“
It
’ssogreattohaveyouhereandtosee
Jaysohappy, socont
ent.It
’swonderf
ul,
Kurt.
”
Theirconversationconti
nuedonamor epositi
ve
note,Jay’smotherandherr eacti
onputt oonesi de
forthemoment .Kurtwasonahi gh,butatthesame
ti
me, hewant edt oknowallaboutJay’sdepression.
Hewant edtoknowwhathadt akenplacewhi l
e
Mayawaswi t
hhi m,andwhathappeneddur i
ngher
visi
ttoCr ant
horp.Hewasshockedandf i
ll
edwi th
guil
ttohearwhatJayhadgonet hrough.ButMaya
reassuredhimt hathecouldnotpossiblyhave
knownwhatwasgoi ngonatt heti
me, andallthat
anguishwasnowbehi ndthem.

Itwasoveranhourbyt het i
met heymadet heirway
backupt othewaiti
ngr oom.Mayawasawar eofa
feel
ingofincreasi
nganxi etytighteningl
ikeaknotin
herstomach, andshewasgr at efulf
orKurt’
s
calmingpresence.Apar tofherf el
tli
kerunni
ng
awayf r
om itall
,orrat
her, r
unni ngawayf rom Raji
v.
Woul dhebeangr ywithherf orkeepi ngt
hingsf r
om
him?Mi ghtheseeitasabet rayal onherpart?
Shest aredoutatt hegrayLondonsky, andr eali
zed
tohersur pr i
sethatshehadbecomequi tefondof
thi
shugemet ropolis,morethanshewoul dever
haveimagi ned,perhapsbecauseRaj i
vl i
vedher e.
Eveni fsheneversawhi m again,sheknewLondon
wouldal waysr emi ndherofhi m.Thet houghtof
neverseei nghi m againtorethroughher ,causing
actual,physicalpai n.Shebreatheddeepl y,tr
yingto
easet heachei nherchest ,butsheknewt hatshe
hadt oleaveassoonaspossi ble.Nowt hatKur t
washer eforJay, sheneededt ogo.

Butt
hepainshewasexper ienci
ngcouldnotbel
eft
behi
nd.I
twasgoi ngt
ofollowherli
keanunwanted
compani
on,readytor
emi ndherofjustwhati
twas
shewaslosi
ng—whatmi ghthavebeen.
Chapt
er31

Raj
ivwastr
yingtopr
ocesswhati
twashisbrother
wassayi
ng.“So,
you’
retel
li
ngmethatt
hisyoung
man,
Kur
t,wasthereasonf
oryourdepr
essi
on,
your
sui
cideat
tempt?”

Jaysearchedhisbrot
her’
sface,t
ryi
ngtogaugehis
react
ion.“Wel
l,
yes—andno.I’vebeenhear
t-
broken,
thi
nkingitwasoverbetweenKurtandme.”

Jaycl osedhiseyes,r
ubbinghisfor
ehead,andRaji
v
reachedovert oholdhisbrot
her’
sotherhand,
reali
zinghowweakandf ragi
leJay’
sbodystil
lwas.
Afterall,
justt
wenty-f
ourhoursago,hehadbeen
fi
ghtingf orhi
sli
fe.

“
I’
m sor
ry,Jay,
”hesai
dsof t
ly.“IguessI’m st
il
l
t
ryi
ngtogetmyheadr oundallthis.Justtakeyour
t
imeandtellmewhatyoucan.I fyou’renotuptoit,
wecanalwaystal
ktomorrow, orwheneveryouf eel
r
eady”
“
No.
”Sanj
aysqueezedhi
shand.“
Ineedyout
o

under
stand.Ineedt
otel
lyouever
ythi
ng.
”

Raji
vnodded,
reachi
ngoutforthechairbehi
ndhi
m,
notl
ett
inggoofhisbrot
her
’shand.“Okay”

“I
twasn’ tj
ustbecauseIwasmi ssi
ng—longingfor—
Kurt.
”Het ookadeepbr eath.“I
t’st
hefactt
hatI’m
gay,somet hi
ngthat’
snotgoi ngtochange,Raji
v.
AndI ’
vebeenwor ri
ed,frightenedofhowyou—and
especiall
yMa—woul dt akei t
.Thescandalitwil
l
creat
e, pl
usit’
samor talsini ntheeyesofthe
Catholi
cChur ch!
”

“WellIdon’tgiveadamn, aslongasyou’r
ehappy,
aslongaswecanputt hisdepressi
on—notwant
ing
tocarryonl i
ving—behindus.”Hesqueezedhi
s
brot
her’sslim hand,t
ryingtocommunicatehi
s
unconditi
onall ovewi
thhiseyes
“Oh,Raj
iv!
”Jay’
svoi
cewaschokedwit
hemot i
on.“
I
wassoaf r
aidyouwoul
djudgeme,maybeeven
disownme.”

“Areyoucr azy,brot
herofmine?”Heswor esoft
lyto
himself.“Mejudgeyou?I’mt helastper
sontojudge
anyone!”Hiswor dsweretornfrom him.“Me,wit
h
myt wistedmi nd?Myperverselif
estyl
e?I’
mthelast
persont ostandinjudgmentofyou.Ofanybody!”

Jaysmiled,
butt
her
ewasahintofconcer
ninhi
s
eyes.“
WhataboutMot
her
?”

Rajivsi
ghed,r
efusi
ngevent ot
hinkabouther
reacti
on.“
Let’
snotworryabouthernow.Let’
sjust
enjoythi
smomentofyouf inal
lyshar
ingwithme.
Weusedt oshareever
ythi
ngwhenwewer ekids,
remember ?
”
Jaynodded,
andt
heybot
hbecamel
osti
nthei
rown
thought
s.

Raj
ivf
inal
lyspoke.“
So,t
hisKurt
,he’
sagoodguy?
Goodenoughformybrother
?”

“Oh,
Raji
v,he’
sawonderful
,ki
nd-heart
edperson.
Youwil
lli
kehim.Iknowyouwill
.”Anothersi
lence.

“And,Maya,al
lthi
sti
me,ther
e’sbeennot
hing
betweenthetwoofyou?
”

“Ofcour
senot !Mayaismycl osestfr
iend,besides
Kurt,
ofcourse.Havi
ngheratCr anthorpe,
bei ng
abletot
alktoheraboutKurt,aboutmygui ltfor
bei
nggay, l
yingtomyf ami
ly.Shewasmyl i
fe-l
ine
tonormali
ty.
”

Raj
ivwasact
ual
lyt
rembl
ingwi
thr
eli
ef.Hi
sbr
other
wasnoti nlovewithher!Shewasfr
ee.The
real
izat
ionwasal mosttoogoodtobetrue.She
coul
dst i
llbehis.Hissensessur
gedatthethought
.

“
Raji
v,no.
”Sanj
ay’
svoi
cei
nter
rupt
edhi
swaywar
d
t
houghts.

“
What
?”heasked,
keepi
nghi
sexpr
essi
onbl
ank.

“Mybeinggaychangesnothi
ngwhereMayais
concer
ned.Youhavetostayawayf
rom her
.”

Raji
vdraggedhishandfr
om hisbrother’
sandstood
upabruptl
y,unabl
etobearSanjay’
spierci
nggaze.
“Idon’
tknowwhatyou’r
etalki
ngabout .
”

“Yes,
youdo.Don’
tli
etome.”Theatmospherewas
suddenl
ychar
gedwi t
hdi
ssent.“
Enoughli
es!You
l
eaveheral
one,Raj
iv.
”
Raji
vstaredoutatthedark,dismalsky,
furi
ouswith
hisbrot
herforinter
feri
nginsomethingthatwas
nownothi sbusiness.Heforcedhimsel
ftoturnand
faceSanjay’
saccusingstare.“Why?”

“
Why?You’
reaski
ngmewhy?
”

“I
sn’ti
tupt
oher
?Sur
elyshecandeci
def
or
hersel
f.
”

“Whileourmotherissearchi
ngforasuitabl
ewif
e
foryou,aswespeak.You’ r
egoingtomar r
yan
Indi
anwoman.Youcan’ thaveyourcakeandeatit
,
too.
”Hepaused.“ Youri
ntenti
onstowardMayaare
nothonorabl
e.”

Raji
vrakedhi
sf i
ngersthr
oughhishai
r.“
MaybeI’
m
notinsuchahurrytogetmarr
ied,maybeIwantt
o
waitanot
heryear—ortwo.”
“Sothatyoucanhaveanaffai
rwithMaya?And
thenwhat?Dropheraft
erayearortwo,onceyou’
re
readytomoveon, t
ogetmarri
ed,andl
eaveher
brokenheart
ed,r
uinedbyyou?”

Raji
vswor ebeneathhisbreath,wanti
ngtopunch
somet hi
ng,anyt
hing,
ratherthanhavingthi
s
conversati
on.Notabl
et oenvisi
onletti
nghergo.
“Youdon’tknowwhatyou’ retal
kingabout,
”hesai
d
l
amel y.

“Iknowexact l
ywhatI ’mt alkingabout !Youcan’ t
alwaysgetwhatyouwant .You’renotusedt o
denyi ngyour sel f.Anywomanyou’ vewant ed,you’ve
got .ButMayai sdi f
ferent.She’ sspecial:innocent,
notnai ve, butinnocent .You’ llbreakherhear t
,break
herspi ri
t.”Sanj aypaused, outofbr eat
h, stari
ng
directlyintohisbr other’
seyes.“ Ifyoudot hat,Raj
iv,
Iwi llneverforgi veyou. ”
*
**

Her
ehecomes.”Kurt
’swordsbroughtherbackto
t
hepresent
,andMayafel
therheartbegi
nningto
t
hump.

Shewat
chedhi
m wal
kingal
ongt
hecor
ri
dor

towar dthem, hisjacketthrownoverhi sshoul der,

hisexpr essi onunr eadable.She’davoi dedl ookingat
him earlierandr eali
zednowt hathel ookedvaguel y
haggar d.Hi shai rwasmessy, probablyfrom
runninghi sf ingersthroughi t.Therewer ef ai
nt
shadowsbeneat hhiseyesaswel lasdesi gner
stubbledar keninghi sjawli
ne, buttheat t
ractionwas
strongert haneverandt hattautachebeganl owin
herbel l
y.Ifonl yhewasn’ tsodevast at
ingly
attract
ive, shet houghtdesper at
ely,perhapst hen
shewoul dhavemor econt rolofher sel
f.Deepdown
sheknewt hatnomat t
erwhathel ookedl i
ke, she
coul dnevercont rolherreactiont ohim.
Hiseyesski mmedoverherandset tledonKur tas
hehel douthi shandt ohi m.“Iwantt othankyouf or
allyou’vedonef ormybr other,Kurt
,”hest ated,hi
s
expressionser i
ousyetwar m.“ We’l
lmaket i
met o
talkproperlytomor r
ow, butr i
ghtnowhe’ si mpat i
ent
toseeyou. ”Kurtnoddedeagert obeonhi sway.
“Oh,Ial mostforgot.I’
vear rangedabedf oryoui n
hisroom f ortonightandt het woofyoucanst ayat
myapar tmentonceSanj ay’sdischarged.I’l
lstayin
Knightsbridgeforachange. ”

Kurtlookedf
rom hert
oRaj
iv,
hisf
acebeami
ng.
“Thankyou.”

“
You’
remor
ethanwel
come,
Kur
t.
”

Raji
vcuppedMaya’ sel
bowinacasually
possessivemannerandeasedhertowardt
heexi
t,
asshet urnedandmouthedgoodbyetoKur
t.
Kurtgaveheranencouragingsmi
lebef
oremaki
ng
hi
swaydownt hecor
ridor.

“
Shallwego?”Raj
ivaskedi
mpassivel
y,andasthey
wer
ealreadywal
kingaway,shehadli
tt
lechoi
ce.
“
Bij
al’
swaiti
ngdownstai
rs.
”

Shenoddedandt
heymadet
hei
rwayt
owar
dst
he
l
if
ts.

Shecoul
dnotst
opher
sel
ffr
om aski
ng,
“Ar
eyou
okay?
”

“
Yes.”Yethi
sexpr essi
onwasdistr
actedandMaya
wassti
llner
vousaboutkeepi
ngt hetr
uthfrom hi
m.
“
I’
m veryrel
ieved,
Maya.Hefinal
lytol
dmet he
t
rut
h.”
Thenwhyar
eyoul
ooki
ngsogl
um?shewant
edt
o
shout
.

Theyexit
edthebui
ldi
ngandBijalwasthere,
standi
ngbytheMercedes,
concernvi
sibleonhis
face.MayahungbackasRaji
vwentovert ospeak
tohim.

“He’sgoingtobef i
ne,Bij
al,
”shehear
dRaji
vsay
andt hensuddenlythetwomenwer ehuggi
ngeach
other.“I
t’
sover.
”

Mayaclimbedqui
etl
yintothecar,notwant
ingto
di
sturbthi
smomentofi nt
imacy,r
eali
zingt
hatBijal
wasfarmor et
hanadrivertot
hisfamil
y.Whatwas
i
tRajivhadsai
d?Ipayhi mtodri
ve,nottot
hink.So
nottr
ue.

Raj
ivcl
imbedint
hebackwi t
hherandt
hecarpul
led
awayfr
om thecl
ini
c.“
Ispoketot
hedoct
oraft
er
seeingSanjay,”hesaid.“Apparentl
yhe’
simproved
considerablysinceKurtarr
ivedandshouldbe
dischargedtomor rowafter
noon,buthehastotake
i
tver yeasyf orawhileandcontinuetoseehi
s
therapi
st.”

Mayaresist
edt
het emptati
ontot
akehishandi
n
her
s.“That’
swonderfulnews,
Raj
iv.Sanj
aymustbe
sohappyandrel
ieved.”

Henoddedhisheadabsent
ly,deepi
nthought,
and
shewasdesperat
etoknowwhathewast hinki
ng.
Surel
yhedi
dn’tmindJaybeinggay?
”

Heglancedatherandt
henaway.“
Willyoucome
backtotheapar
tmentwit
hme,pl
ease?”

Shecouldn’
tref
use.Theyneededtotal
knowthat
heknewt het
ruth.Hi
sbehaviorwasapuzzl
eand
sheneededtoknowwhathewast hi
nki
ng.Sheal
so
wantedhimtounderstandthatshehadnotwant
ed
todecei
vehim.Nomat terwhathadgoneon
bet
weent hem,shecouldnothavereveal
ed
Sanjay’
ssexual
it
ytohim.

“Yes,”shesaidsof
tl
y,eventhoughthepar
ti
ti
onwas
closed.“I
’l
lcomehomewi thyou,i
fthat
’swhatyou
want .
”

“Thankyou.
”Hecl
osedhi
seyesandr
est
edhi
s
headonthebackoft
heseat
.

Hiscel
lphonebegantori
ngandwi thasigh,
he
pull
edi
toutofhisj
acketpocketandstar
edatit
.
“I
t’
smymot her
.”

Maya’
shear
tski
ppedabeat
.“Fr
om I
ndi
a?”

Henoddedandpr
essedt
heanswerbut
ton.“
Hi,
Ma,
howar
eyou?
”

Mayacoul dt el
lhewast ryi
ngtosoundupbeatand
shewi shedshecoul dleavehimtotalkinpri
vate,
butthatwasi mpossible,soshetur
nedherhead
andlookedoutt heofthewi ndowintothedarkness
i
nstead, t
ryingfut
il
elynottoli
stentotheir
conversation.

“
He’
sfi
ne… He’
sgotaf
ri
endvi
sit
ingf
rom

Switzerl
and…He’
sseemstobemuchbet
ter
,Ma,
real
ly.It
hinkt
heworsti
sover
.”

Ther
ewasapauseashi
smot
herspoke.

“Hemayhaveswitchedi
toff
.Youknowwhathe’
s
l
ikewit
hphones.He’spr
obabl
youtsi
ght
seei
ngwith
Kurt
…His
Swissfr
iend.Don’tworry,Ma.He’smuchbet
ter
,he
real
lyi
s.”Anotherlongerpause.

“That’
simpossi
ble,
Ma.I’m waytoobusy.I
’
vegot
meetingsbackt
obackf ort
henextfewweeks.
There’
snowayIcanj ustdropever
ythi
ngandcome
toGoa.”

Mayaf
eltr
athersawhi
mrakehi
sfi
nger
sthr
ough
hi
shai
r.

“I
’m sor
ry,
Ma.Ir eal
lycan’
tdothat
,notnext
weekend.Besidestheboardmeeti
ngonFr i
day,
TahirSomawant stoplaygol
fonSunday,andyou
knowwhatt hatmeans.He’si
ntroubl
eagain.”

Shehear
dhi
m si
ghheavi
ly.
“
Maybe.I
’l
lhavetocheckmydi
ary,
butt
otr
avel
all
t
hatway,
justfort
wodays…”

Anot
herpause,
anot
hersi
gh.

“Okay,l
ook.Letmecheckmydiar
ywhenIgethome
andI’l
lcal
lyoubackl
ater
…Iunder
stand…Okay,
love
youtoo,bye.
”

Mayacont inuedtolookoutt hewi ndowatthelights

fli
ckeri
ngby.Hismot herwant edhi mt ocometo
India,
Goa, t
omeetapr ospectivebride.I
twas
obvious,andforthebest.Shewasl eavingLondon
tomorrow.JayhadKur t,thankGod, andsheneeded
togetonwi thherli
fe.Andf orgetthismansitt
ing
besideherwhohadt ur
nedher ,andherworld,i
nside
-
out .

TheMercedessloweddown.They’
dreachedhi
s
apar
tmentbuil
dingqui
ckl
ywiththetr
aff
icbei
ngso
l
ight.Hadshedonet heri
ghtthi
ngagreei
ngto
spendthenighthere?Sure,
theydi
dneedt otal
k.
Butdidshewantt oendupinbedwi t
hhim agai
n?

Hertr
ait
orousbodyki ckedupanot chatthethought
,
butherbrai
nwasst i
llfunct
ioni
ng.Mistr
esses,ex-
mist
resses,prospectivebri
des—itwasalltoomuch!
Butyou’
llbeleavingtomor r
ow,justonemor enight
.
Thatwasherbodyt alki
ng.

ThecarcametoahaltandBij
almusthavepr
essed
abutt
on,ast
hepart
it
ionsli
dsmoothlydown.

“ThanksBij
al,
foreveryt
hing,”Rajivsaidasshe
grabbedherbag,wonderingawkwar dl
ywhatthe
oldermanmustt hinkofher.“I
’l
lletyouknowwhat
ti
meweneedt opickhim upf r
om t hehospi
tal
tomorrow,pr
obablyintheafternoon.”

Hesqueezedt
heol
derman’
sshoul
derandopened
thedoor
,cl
imbi
ngoutandwai
ti
ngf
orhert
ojoi
n
him.

“
Thankyou,
Bij
al,
”shesaid,
awar
ethatshepr
obabl
y
woul
dn’
tbeseei
nghim agai
n.

Thisti
me,astheyenteredthelobby,
Raji
v
i
ntroducedhertoJackson,andMayashookhis
hand,wonderi
nguneasilyhowmanywomenhehad
seencomingandgoi ngfrom Raji
v’
spent
house.

Ofcourse,Raji
vwentst rai
ghtforthedri
nkscabinet
oncetheyenteredtheapartment,onlypausi
ngt o
thr
owhi sleat
herjacketontooneoft hecouches.
“WhatcanIof f
eryou? ”heasked,pouri
nghimselfa
sti
ffwhisky.

“Um, I’
l
lhaveasmallwhi
skywit
hsomewater,
please.”Shewasacqui
ri
ngatastef
ort
heexcl
usi
ve
singlemaltwhi
sky,whi
chhedrank.
Helookedsurpr
ised,
butpouredoutasmal
lamount
wi
thwat er
,andpassedherthetumbl
er.

“Cheers.
”Hehel
duphi
sgl
asst
oher
sandact
ual
ly
smiled.

“ToSanj
ayandKur t
—andseei
ngmyoldbr
other
backagai
n.”Shecli
nkedhi
sgl
assandsmi
led.“
To
Sanj
ayandKur t
.”

Raj
ivt
ookal ongpullonhisdr
ink,
whi
leMayat
ook
asmallsi
p,savor
ingthetast
e.

“
Mymot herwant
smet
ovi
sitheri
nGoanext
weekend.”

Mayanoddedandturnedt
olookoutt
hewi
ndowat
t
hetwi
nkli
ngli
ghtsli
ningt
heThames.
“
She’
sgoi
ngt
obever
ydi
sappoi
nted.
”

Mayat
urned,
frowni
ng.“
Why?BecauseofSanj
ay?
”

“
Chri
st!Don’
tevengothere.
”Heclosedhiseyesat
t
henotionandthenshookhisheaddeter
minedl
y.
“
ButIwasn’tt
alki
ngaboutSanjay.
”

Herf
rowndeepened.Thenwhat
?

Hedrainedtheglass,r
ubbi
nghismouthwit
hthe
backofhisthumb.“Shethi
nksshe’
sfoundthe
perf
ectwifeforme,inGoa.
”

Maya’sst
omachholl
owed,
event
houghshe’
d
al
readyguessed.
“ButI’
vedeci
dedI’m notyetreadyf
ormarri
age.”Hi
s
wordslef
tMayadumbf ounded.Raj
ivwastr
yingto
processwhatitwashisbrotherwassayi
ng.“So,
you’r
etel
li
ngmet hatthisyoungman,

Kur
t,wasthereasonf
oryourdepr
essi
on,
your
sui
cideat
tempt?”

Jaysearchedhisbrot
her’
sface,t
ryi
ngtogaugehis
react
ion.“Wel
l,
yes—andno.I’vebeenhear
t-
broken,
thi
nkingitwasoverbetweenKurtandme.”

Jaycl osedhiseyes,r
ubbinghisfor
ehead,andRaji
v
reachedovert oholdhisbrot
her’
sotherhand,
reali
zinghowweakandf ragi
leJay’
sbodystil
lwas.
Afterall,
justt
wenty-f
ourhoursago,hehadbeen
fi
ghtingf orhi
sli
fe.

“
I’
m sor
ry,
Jay,
”hesai
dsof
tl
y.“
IguessI’m st
il
l
t
ryi
ngtogetmyheadr
oundal
lthi
s.Justtakeyour
t
imeandtel
lmewhatyoucan.I
fyou’
renotuptoit
,
wecanal
waystal
ktomorr
ow,orwheneveryouf
eel
r
eady”

“
No.
”Sanj
aysqueezedhi
shand.“
Ineedyout
o

under
stand.Ineedt
otel
lyouever
ythi
ng.
”

Raji
vnodded,
reachi
ngoutforthechairbehi
ndhi
m,
notl
ett
inggoofhisbrot
her
’shand.“Okay”

“I
twasn’ tj
ustbecauseIwasmi ssi
ng—longingfor—
Kurt.
”Het ookadeepbr eath.“I
t’st
hefactt
hatI’m
gay,somet hi
ngthat’
snotgoi ngtochange,Raji
v.
AndI ’
vebeenwor ri
ed,frightenedofhowyou—and
especiall
yMa—woul dt akei t
.Thescandalitwil
l
creat
e, pl
usit’
samor talsini ntheeyesofthe
Catholi
cChur ch!
”
“WellIdon’tgiveadamn, aslongasyou’r
ehappy,
aslongaswecanputt hisdepressi
on—notwant
ing
tocarryonl i
ving—behindus.”Hesqueezedhi
s
brot
her’sslim hand,t
ryingtocommunicatehi
s
unconditi
onall ovewi
thhiseyes

“Oh,Raj
iv!
”Jay’
svoi
cewaschokedwit
hemot i
on.“
I
wassoaf r
aidyouwoul
djudgeme,maybeeven
disownme.”

“Areyoucr azy,brot
herofmine?”Heswor esoft
lyto
himself.“Mejudgeyou?I’mt helastper
sontojudge
anyone!”Hiswor dsweretornfrom him.“Me,wit
h
myt wistedmi nd?Myperverselif
estyl
e?I’
mthelast
persont ostandinjudgmentofyou.Ofanybody!”

Jaysmiled,
butt
her
ewasahintofconcer
ninhi
s
eyes.“
WhataboutMot
her
?”

Raj
ivsi
ghed,
ref
usi
ngevent
othi
nkabouther
react
ion.“
Let’
snotworryabouthernow.Let
’sjust
enjoythi
smomentofyouf inal
lyshar
ingwit
hme.
Weusedt oshareever
ythi
ngwhenwewer ekids,
remember ?
”

Jaynodded,
andt
heybot
hbecamel
osti
nthei
rown
thought
s.

Raj
ivf
inal
lyspoke.“
So,t
hisKurt
,he’
sagoodguy?
Goodenoughformybrother
?”

“Oh,
Raji
v,he’
sawonderful
,ki
nd-heart
edperson.
Youwil
lli
kehim.Iknowyouwill
.”Anothersi
lence.

“And,Maya,al
lthi
sti
me,ther
e’sbeennot
hing
betweenthetwoofyou?
”

“Ofcour
senot!Mayaismyclosestfr
iend,besi
des
Kurt
,ofcour
se.Havi
ngheratCranthorpe,
being
abl
etotal
ktoheraboutKur
t,aboutmygui
ltfor
bei
nggay,l
yingt
omyf amil
y.Shewasmylife-l
ine
tonor
mali
ty.
”

Raji
vwasact ual
lytrembl
ingwit
hr eli
ef.Hisbrot
her
wasnoti nlovewi t
hher!Shewasf ree.The
real
izat
ionwasal mosttoogoodt obet rue.She
coul
dst i
llbehis.Hissensessurgedatt hethought
.

“
Raji
v,no.
”Sanj
ay’
svoi
cei
nter
rupt
edhi
swaywar
d
t
houghts.

“
What
?”heasked,
keepi
nghi
sexpr
essi
onbl
ank.

“Mybeinggaychangesnothi
ngwhereMayais
concer
ned.Youhavetostayawayf
rom her
.”

Raj
ivdraggedhishandfr
om hisbrother
’sandstood
upabruptl
y,unabl
etobearSanjay’
spier
cinggaze.
“
Idon’
tknowwhatyou’
ret
alki
ngabout
.”

“Yes,
youdo.Don’
tli
etome.”Theatmospherewas
suddenl
ychar
gedwi t
hdi
ssent.“
Enoughli
es!You
l
eaveheral
one,Raj
iv.
”

Raji
vstaredoutatthedark,dismalsky,
furi
ouswith
hisbrot
herforinter
feri
nginsomethingthatwas
nownothi sbusiness.Heforcedhimsel
ftoturnand
faceSanjay’
saccusingstare.“Why?”

“
Why?You’
reaski
ngmewhy?
”

“I
sn’ti
tupt
oher
?Sur
elyshecandeci
def
or
hersel
f.
”

“
Whileourmot
herissearchi
ngforasuitabl
ewif
e
f
oryou,aswespeak.You’r
egoingtomar r
yan
I
ndi
anwoman.Youcan’ thaveyourcakeandeatit
,
too.
”Hepaused.“
Youri
ntent
ionst
owar
dMayaar
e
nothonor
abl
e.”

Raji
vrakedhi
sf i
ngersthr
oughhishai
r.“
MaybeI’
m
notinsuchahurrytogetmarr
ied,maybeIwantt
o
waitanot
heryear—ortwo.”

“Sothatyoucanhaveanaffai
rwithMaya?And
thenwhat?Dropheraft
erayearortwo,onceyou’
re
readytomoveon, t
ogetmarri
ed,andl
eaveher
brokenheart
ed,r
uinedbyyou?”

Raji
vswor ebeneathhisbreath,wanti
ngtopunch
somet hi
ng,anyt
hing,
ratherthanhavingthi
s
conversati
on.Notabl
et oenvisi
onletti
nghergo.
“Youdon’tknowwhatyou’ retal
kingabout,
”hesai
d
l
amel y.

“Iknowexact
lywhatI
’mtal
kingabout
!Youcan’
t
alwaysgetwhatyouwant
.You’r
enotusedt
o
denyingyour self.Anywomanyou’ vewant ed,you’
ve
got.ButMayai sdi f
ferent.She’sspecial
:innocent,
notnaive, buti
nnocent .You’llbreakherhear t
,break
herspiri
t.”Sanjaypaused, outofbr eat
h,stari
ng
di
rectlyintohisbr other’
seyes.“ Ifyoudot hat
, Raj
iv,
Iwillneverforgiveyou. ”

*
**

Her
ehecomes.”Kurt
’swordsbroughtherbackto
t
hepresent
,andMayafel
therheartbegi
nningto
t
hump.

Shewat
chedhi
m wal
kingal
ongt
hecor
ri
dor

towardthem, hisjacketthrownoverhisshoulder,
hisexpressionunr eadable.She’
davoidedlooki
ngat
him earl
ierandreal i
zednowt hathelookedvaguely
haggard.Hishai rwasmessy, pr
obablyfr
om
runninghisfingersthroughi t
.Ther
ewer efai
nt
shadowsbeneat hhiseyesaswel lasdesi gner
stubbledar keni
nghisjawl i
ne, buttheat t
racti
onwas
strongerthaneverandt hatt autachebeganl owi n
herbel l
y.Ifonlyhewasn’ tsodevast at
ingly
attract
ive,shethoughtdesper ately,perhapst hen
shewoul dhavemor econt rolofher sel
f.Deepdown
sheknewt hatnomat terwhathel ookedl i
ke,she
coul dnevercontrolherreactiontohi m.

Hiseyesski mmedoverherandset tledonKur tas

hehel douthi shandt ohi m.“Iwantt othankyouf or
allyou’vedonef ormybr other,Kurt
,”hest ated,hi
s
expressionser i
ousyetwar m.“ We’l
lmaket i
met o
talkproperlytomor r
ow, butr i
ghtnowhe’ si mpat i
ent
toseeyou. ”Kurtnoddedeagert obeonhi sway.
“Oh,Ial mostforgot.I’
vear rangedabedf oryoui n
hisroom f ortonightandt het woofyoucanst ayat
myapar tmentonceSanj ay’sdischarged.I’l
lstayin
Knightsbridgeforachange. ”

Kur
tlookedf
rom hert
oRaj
iv,
hisf
acebeami
ng.
“
Thankyou.
”

“
You’
remor
ethanwel
come,
Kur
t.
”

Raji
vcuppedMaya’ sel
bowinacasually
possessivemannerandeasedhertowardt
heexi
t,
asshet urnedandmouthedgoodbyetoKur
t.

Kurtgaveheranencouragingsmi
lebef
oremaki
ng
hi
swaydownt hecor
ridor.

“
Shallwego?”Raj
ivaskedi
mpassivel
y,andasthey
wer
ealreadywal
kingaway,shehadli
tt
lechoi
ce.
“
Bij
al’
swaiti
ngdownstai
rs.
”

Shenoddedandt
heymadet
hei
rwayt
owar
dst
he
l
if
ts.
Shecoul
dnotst
opher
sel
ffr
om aski
ng,
“Ar
eyou
okay?
”

“
Yes.”Yethi
sexpr essi
onwasdistr
actedandMaya
wassti
llner
vousaboutkeepi
ngt hetr
uthfrom hi
m.
“
I’
m veryrel
ieved,
Maya.Hefinal
lytol
dmet he
t
rut
h.”

Thenwhyar
eyoul
ooki
ngsogl
um?shewant
edt
o
shout
.

Theyexit
edthebui
ldi
ngandBijalwasthere,
standi
ngbytheMercedes,
concernvi
sibleonhis
face.MayahungbackasRaji
vwentovert ospeak
tohim.

“He’sgoingtobef i
ne,Bij
al,
”shehear
dRaji
vsay
andt hensuddenlythetwomenwer ehuggi
ngeach
other.“I
t’
sover.
”
Mayaclimbedqui
etl
yintothecar,notwant
ingto
di
sturbthi
smomentofi nt
imacy,r
eali
zingt
hatBijal
wasfarmor et
hanadrivertot
hisfamil
y.Whatwas
i
tRajivhadsai
d?Ipayhi mtodri
ve,nottot
hink.So
nottr
ue.

Rajivcli
mbedi nthebackwi thherandthecarpul l
ed
awayf rom theclini
c.“Ispoketot hedoctoraf
ter
seeingSanjay,”hesaid.“ Apparentl
yhe’simproved
considerablysinceKur tarr
ivedandshoul dbe
dischargedtomor rowaf ter
noon,buthehast otake
i
tver yeasyf orawhileandcont inuetoseehis
therapi
st.”

Mayaresist
edt
het emptati
ontot
akehishandi
n
her
s.“That’
swonderfulnews,
Raj
iv.Sanj
aymustbe
sohappyandrel
ieved.”

Henoddedhisheadabsent
ly,deepi
nthought,
and
shewasdesperat
etoknowwhathewast hinki
ng.
Surel
yhedi
dn’tmindJaybeinggay?
”
Heglancedatherandt
henaway.“
Willyoucome
backtotheapar
tmentwit
hme,pl
ease?”

Shecouldn’tref
use.Theyneededtot al
knowt hat
heknewt hetruth.Hi
sbehaviorwasapuzzl eand
sheneededt oknowwhathewast hinki
ng.Shealso
wantedhimt ounderstandthatshehadnotwant ed
todecei
vehi m.Nomat terwhathadgoneon
bet
weent hem, shecouldnothaverevealed
Sanjay’
ssexualityt
ohim.

“Yes,”shesaidsof
tl
y,eventhoughthepar
ti
ti
onwas
closed.“I
’l
lcomehomewi thyou,i
fthat
’swhatyou
want .
”

“Thankyou.
”Hecl
osedhi
seyesandr
est
edhi
s
headonthebackoft
heseat
.

Hi
scel
lphonebegant
ori
ngandwi
thasi
gh,
he
pull
edi
toutofhisj
acketpocketandst
aredati
t.
“I
t’
smymot her
.”

Maya’
shear
tski
ppedabeat
.“Fr
om I
ndi
a?”

Henoddedandpr
essedt
heanswerbut
ton.“
Hi,
Ma,
howareyou?
”

Mayacoul dt el
lhewast ryi
ngtosoundupbeatand
shewi shedshecoul dleavehimtotalkinpri
vate,
butthatwasi mpossible,soshetur
nedherhead
andlookedoutt heofthewi ndowintothedarkness
i
nstead, t
ryingfut
il
elynottoli
stentotheir
conversation.

“
He’
sfi
ne… He’
sgotaf
ri
endvi
sit
ingf
rom

Switzerl
and…He’
sseemstobemuchbet
ter
,Ma,
real
ly.It
hinkt
heworsti
sover
.”
Ther
ewasapauseashi
smot
herspoke.

“Hemayhaveswitchedi
toff
.Youknowwhathe’
s
l
ikewit
hphones.He’spr
obabl
youtsi
ght
seei
ngwith
Kurt
…His

Swissfr
iend.Don’tworry,Ma.He’smuchbet
ter
,he
real
lyi
s.”Anotherlongerpause.

“That’
simpossi
ble,
Ma.I’m waytoobusy.I
’
vegot
meetingsbackt
obackf ort
henextfewweeks.
There’
snowayIcanj ustdropever
ythi
ngandcome
toGoa.”

Mayaf
eltr
athersawhi
mrakehi
sfi
nger
sthr
ough
hi
shai
r.

“
I’
m sor
ry,
Ma.Ir
eal
l
ycan’
tdot
hat
,notnext
weekend.Besidest
heboardmeet i
ngonFriday,
Tahi
rSomawant st
oplaygolfonSunday,andyou
knowwhatt hatmeans.He’
sintroubl
eagain.
”

Shehear
dhi
m si
ghheavi
ly.

“
Maybe.I
’l
lhavetocheckmydi
ary,
butt
otr
avel
all
t
hatway,
justfort
wodays…”

Anot
herpause,
anot
hersi
gh.

“Okay,l
ook.Letmecheckmydiar
ywhenIgethome
andI’l
lcal
lyoubackl
ater
…Iunder
stand…Okay,
love
youtoo,bye.
”

Mayacont inuedt
olookoutthewindowatthelight
s
fli
ckeri
ngby.Hismotherwantedhimt ocometo
India,
Goa, t
omeetaprospecti
vebride.I
twas
obvious,andfort
hebest.ShewasleavingLondon
tomorr
ow.JayhadKurt,t
hankGod,andsheneeded
togetonwit
hherli
fe.Andfor
getthi
smansitt
ing
besi
deherwhohadt ur
nedher,andherwor
ld,
insi
de
-
out.

TheMer cedessloweddown.They’
dreachedhis
apartmentbuil
dingqui
ckl
ywi t
hthetr
affi
cbeingso
l
ight.Hadshedonet heri
ghtthi
ngagreei
ngto
spendthenighthere?Sure,
theydi
dneedt otal
k.
Butdidshewantt oendupinbedwi t
hhim agai
n?

Hertr
ait
orousbodyki ckedupanot chatthethought
,
butherbrai
nwasst i
llfunct
ioni
ng.Mistr
esses,ex-
mist
resses,prospectivebri
des—itwasalltoomuch!
Butyou’
llbeleavingtomor r
ow,justonemor enight
.
Thatwasherbodyt alki
ng.

ThecarcametoahaltandBij
almusthavepr
essed
abutt
on,ast
hepart
it
ionsli
dsmoothlydown.
“ThanksBij
al,
foreveryt
hing,”Rajivsaidasshe
grabbedherbag,wonderingawkwar dl
ywhatthe
oldermanmustt hinkofher.“I
’l
lletyouknowwhat
ti
meweneedt opickhim upf r
om t hehospi
tal
tomorrow,pr
obablyintheafternoon.”

Hesqueezedtheol
derman’sshoul
derandopened
thedoor
,cl
imbingoutandwai
tingf
orhertoj
oin
him.

“
Thankyou,
Bij
al,
”shesaid,
awar
ethatshepr
obabl
y
woul
dn’
tbeseei
nghim agai
n.

Thisti
me,astheyenteredthelobby,
Raji
v
i
ntroducedhertoJackson,andMayashookhis
hand,wonderi
nguneasilyhowmanywomenhehad
seencomingandgoi ngfrom Raji
v’
spent
house.

Ofcourse,
Raji
vwentst
rai
ghtf
orthedri
nkscabi
net
oncetheyent
eredt
heapar
tment,
onlypausi
ngto
thr
owhisleat
herj
acketontooneoft
hecouches.
“WhatcanIoff
eryou?”heasked,
pour
inghi
mselfa
sti
ffwhi
sky.

“Um, I’
l
lhaveasmallwhi
skywit
hsomewater,
please.”Shewasacqui
ri
ngatastef
ort
heexcl
usi
ve
singlemaltwhi
sky,whi
chhedrank.

Helookedsurpr
ised,
butpouredoutasmal
lamount
wi
thwat er
,andpassedherthetumbl
er.

“Cheers.
”Hehel
duphi
sgl
asst
oher
sandact
ual
ly
smiled.

“ToSanj
ayandKur t
—andseei
ngmyoldbr
other
backagai
n.”Shecli
nkedhi
sgl
assandsmi
led.“
To
Sanj
ayandKur t
.”

Raj
ivt
ookal
ongpul
lonhi
sdr
ink,
whi
leMayat
ook
asmal
lsi
p,savor
ingt
het
ast
e.

“
Mymot herwant
smet
ovi
sitheri
nGoanext
weekend.”

Mayanoddedandturnedt
olookoutt
hewi
ndowat
t
hetwi
nkli
ngli
ghtsli
ningt
heThames.

“
She’
sgoi
ngt
obever
ydi
sappoi
nted.
”

Mayat
urned,
frowni
ng.“
Why?BecauseofSanj
ay?
”

“
Chri
st!Don’
tevengothere.
”Heclosedhiseyesat
t
henotionandthenshookhisheaddeter
minedl
y.
“
ButIwasn’tt
alki
ngaboutSanjay.
”

Herf
rowndeepened.Thenwhat
?
Hedrainedtheglass,r
ubbi
nghismouthwit
hthe
backofhisthumb.“Shethi
nksshe’
sfoundthe
perf
ectwifeforme,inGoa.
”

Maya’sst
omachholl
owed,
event
houghshe’
d
al
readyguessed.

“
ButI’
vedeci
dedI
’
m notyetreadyf
ormar
ri
age.
”Hi
s
wor
dslef
tMayadumbfounded.
Chapt
er32

Raj
ivgri
maced,st
aringdownattheemptytumbler
i
nhishand.“I
’
llst
il
lhavetogotoGoathough.It
wouldbeseenasextremel
yimpoli
tei
fIdidn’
t.
”

Mayadr ainedherwhiskyaswel
l
,needingthe
sustenance.“Why?”Shewasnotgoi
ngt ogether
hopesupbecauseofwhathewassayi ng,butshe
neededtoknow.“ Whatmadeyoudecidethat
?”
“HowcanIgetmar ri
edwhenal
lIcant
hinkabouti
s
you?”Hisexpr
essionwasbl
eakandhi
swords
squeezedatherheart
.

“Raji
v,no.Don’
tdothi
s.I
’
ml eavi
ngt
omor
row.I
’
m
goinghomet ogetr
eadytostar
tmynewj
ob
and—andmoveonwi t
hmyl i
fe.
”

“Tomorrow?”Helookedshocked,andthensl
owl
y
hisfacechanged.Hesettheglassdownand
movedt owardsher.“
You’
vealwayswant edt
ogoto
Indi
a,haven’
tyou?”

Shestar
edupathim,perplexed.“
Yes,I
’
m hopi
ngto
gonextyearwhenI
’m enti
tledtol
eavefr
om mynew
j
ob.”

“
Butyou’r
enotstar
ti
ngwor
kforanot
heraf
ew
weeks,
areyou?”
“
Ist
artwor
kingt
hemi
ddl
eofOct
ober
.”

“
Thencomet
oIndi
awi
thme!
”

“
What
!”

“
You’
lllovei
t.I’
l
lshowyoupl
acest
our
ist
sneverget
t
osee,”hesaid,exci
ted.

“
Youwantmetogot
oGoawi
thyou?
”Washe
l
osi
nghi
smind?

Heshookhi shead.“NotGoa, no.”Her eachedout

andputhi shandsonhershoul ders,shecouldf eel
hiswar mth,eventhoughshest il
lhadherj acketon.
“We’llgotoRajasthan.Oneofmyf avour i
teplaces
i
nI ndia.There’
sthisbeauti
fulhotel,
TheRambagh
Palace.Itwasamahar aj
a’spalace.The
archit
ecture’
samazi ngandthedécor,abitovert
he
top,butallori
ginalandtheatmospheremakesyou
feell
ikeyou’vesteppedstrai
ghtbackinti
me.You’ll
l
ovei t,
Maya.Pl easecomewi thme.”

Ital
lsoundedwonderf
ul,butMayawasn’
t
convinced.“
Whataboutyourmother
?Whatabout
Goa?”

Hisf
inger
scar essedhershoul
der
s.“I
’l
lfl
ydownto
Goafrom Jai
pur.Iwon’tbegonemorethanoneday,
maybeadayandani ght,andt
henI’
l
lfl
ybackto
you.
”

Mayapul l
edawayfrom hi
m.“ Youwantt
otakeme
tosomef ancyhot
elforadir
tyweekendandhide
met her
ewhi l
eyougot oGoatomeetaprospect
ive
bri
de?”Hertonewassharpandaccusing.

Raj
ivf
acet
urnedt
ost
one.“
Ithoughtwecoul
dgo
foraweeknotadirt
yweekendandIwanttoshow
youIndi
a,notj
ustscrewyousensel
ess.
”

“I
t’
snevergonnahappen, Raj i
v,”shetoldhim.
“WhenIgot oIndia,
I’
llpayformysel f.Imaynotbe
ablet
ostayinf i
vestarhotels,butitwillbepai
dfor
byme.I’l
lprobablybebackpacki ngandst ayi
ngin
budgetaccommodat ions,butatleastIcanhol dmy
headupandnotf eellikeahigh-classwhor e.
”

“
Ahi gh-
classwhor
e? ”Hiseyesnar
rowed,whether
wit
hshockorangershewasn’ tsur
e.“God,you
r
eall
yhaveal owopinionofme,don’tyou?
”

Nowshef
eltt
err
ibl
e.He’
dbeenl
ikeanexci
tedchil
d,
pl
anni
ngawonderf
ulout
ing,
andshe’
djusttr
ashed
i
t.

“I
’
m sorr
y,Raj.Ishoul
dn’
thavesai
dthat
.Itsounded
ungr
atef
ul,butIneedtogobacktoEdi
nburgh,st
art
myjob,andgetonwithmyl
if
e,j
ustasyouhavet
o
getonwithyourl
if
e.”

“
Andwhati
fIst
il
lwantyoui
nmyl
if
e?”

Sheshookherhead.“ Ican’tbeyour—yourpar t-t

ime
mistress.”Shesoundedbi tter,
yetshewasn’t,and
sheneededhi mtoknowt hat.“Andyou,youneedt o
getonwi thyourlif
e.Besides, weli
veindiff
erent
ci
ties,dif
ferentworl
ds.Yourl if
eissototall
y
dif
ferentfrom mine.I
’ml eavingtomorrow,Rajiv.I
needt ogetbackt oEdinburgh.”

Hestar
edather.Onlythepul
sebeati
ngathis
j
awli
nebetrayedhisemoti
on.“
Itsoundsl
ikeyou
can’
twaitt
ogetridofme.”

Hi
sbeauti
fulf
acehadtakenonahauntedl
ook,
and
Mayaf
eltawful
.“That
’snott
rue,
Raj
.”
“
Ican’
tsayIbl ameyou.I’m notexact
lyboyfri
end
mater
ial
,am I
? ”Hepaused, veil
inghi
seyeswi t
h
t
hosethi
ck,bluntlashes,
staringdownatt hefl
oor
.
“
Thoseanklet
sIsentyou—youhaven’ teven
menti
onedthem. ”

Sheswall
owed.“
OhGod, t
hesil
verankl
ets.
They—t
heyaresi
lver
,ar
en’tt
hey?”

Hereturnedtotheliquorcabinet
.Afterpour
ing
himselfadri
nk, hefi
nall
ylookedacrossather.
“Doesitmatter
? ”Mayadr oppedhereyes,unabl
eto
bearthathauntedlook.“Thankyou.”Shedidn’
t
knowwhatel set osay.

“
DoyouknowwhyIboughtt
hem f
oryou?
”

Shejustmanagedtost opher
selff
rom sayi
ng,Asa
thankyougi
ftforhelpi
ngJay,shaki
ngherhead
i
nstead.“
Thefirstt
imewemetatt hetr
ainstat
ion?
”
Mayanodded,
puzzl
ed.

“
Youwer
ewear
ingankl
ets.Youdon’
tremember
?”

Shethoughtforamoment .“
Yes,ofcourseI
remember.”Theywerecheapsil
ver-
platedanklet
s
she’
dpickedupatamar ketstal
l,
nothingli
kethe
i
ntri
cat
e,elegantoneshe’
dsenther.“Didyouli
ke
them?”

“
Ili
kedt
hem onyou.
”

Heati
nvadedherbodyathi
swor
ds.“
Oh,
Raj
,why
ar
eyoudoingthi
s?”

“Youaskmet hat?”Hedrainedthesecondwhi
sky
andwalkedt owardher ,
hisbeauti
fulf
aceati
ght
maskofdi scontent.“
Ifyoudon’twantme,j
ustsay
soMaya, don’tmakeexcuses. ”
Hewasst andi
ngrighti
nfrontofhernow,hi
seyes
f
latandunreadabl
e,andMayaf el
therski
nprickl
e.
Helookedsodisconnect
ed,sodetached.

Inoneofthosesuddenmovement s,hesli
dher
j
acketoff,
grabbingherwr ist
sandsecuri
ngthem
ti
ghtl
ybehindherback, pushingherbodyupint
o
theheatofhis.“
Whydi dn’tyoutel
lmeSanjaywas
gay?”

Shestar
edathi
minshock,
suddenl
yhotandoutof
breat
h.

Whatwast
hisabout
?“Becausei
twasn’
tmysecr
et
t
otel
l!
”

“You’rel
ying.
”Hefreedonehand, gri
ppingbothher
wr i
stspai
nfull
yint
heot her,andranhisfinger
s
slowlydownf r
om herthroattoherheavingbreast
,
gazi
ngatherwi t
hadet achedcur iosit
y,li
kean
i
nsectunderami croscope.“ Whydi dn’tyout el
lme
hewasgay?Thatl astni ghtinLondon, af t
erwe
madel ove,youcoul dhavet oldme.Butyouchose
notto.”Hepr essedherwr istsintoherlowerback
andMayaf el
tt heheat edbul geofhi serectionlow
agai
nstherst omach.Thepai ninherwr istsmingled
wit
ht helustsuddenl ysur gingt hr
oughher .

Hi
sbreathwaswarm agai
nsthercheekandshe
t
urnedherhead,
sear
chinghi
smout hwithher
s.

Rajiv’
shandgrippedherj aw,br
ushinghismout h
l
ightlyagai
nsthers,forci
nghermoanoff rustrat
ion.
Hiseyeswer esti
llhardandangry,butshedi dn’
t
care.Heatwasf l
oodingherbodyandknowi ngthat
hewant editt
oo,wipedal lt
hought
sf r
om hermi nd.

Hiskiss,whenitf
inal
lycamewasf arf
rom t
ender
,
hisli
psbruisi
nghers,thestubbleofhi
sbeard
scrapingagai
nsthertenderskin.
Butshedidn’tcare.Evenwhenhi sfi
ngersf i
sted
i
ntoherhair,pull
ingherheadbackpai nf
ully,Maya
achedforhim.Shewoul dhavefall
entothef l
oorif
shehadn’tbeenl eaningi
ntohim—shewast hat
weakwithdesire.Hegr oundhishipsagainsthers
andshefeltmoi sturepoolbet
weenherthighs.

“Iknowwhyyoul i
edt ome.”Hewasbr eathi
ng
heavil
y,buthiseyeswer esti
lldeadcold.“Youknew
Iwouldl eaveyoualoneaslongasIbel ievedSanj
ay
wasi nlovewithyou.Itwaseasi erf
oryou.”

Herf
acefl
ushedwi
thguil
tassher
eal
izedwhathe
wassayi
ngwaspar
tlyt
rue.

“
Youleftmeintorment
,want
ingyou,andhati
ng
mysel
ffori
t,becausei
twasaneasierwayforyou
t
ogetri
dofme! ”
“No,”sheli
eddesperately.“
Itoldyou,Ipromised
JayIwoul dkeephissecr et
,Icouldn’
ttel
lyou!”Hi
s
erecti
onrubbingagainsthersensiti
zedmoundwas
drivi
ngherclosetotheedge.

“Don’
tli
etome,”hegrowl ed,for
cingherwri
sts
downagainstherbackside,hershoulder
spull
ed
backhardandherwhol ebodyar chedint
ohis.

Ashecont i
nuedtogrindhimsel
fagai
nsther,
Maya
fel
ttheheatbui
ldi
ngbet weenherl
egs,gr
oaningas
t
hef i
rstwaveoforgasm—

“Ohnoyoudon’
t.
”Hepulledbackandsherel
eased
asobbi
ngmoan.“Notuntilyouadmi
tthet
rut
h.You
don’
tcomeunti
lIsayyoucan.”

Herbodyachi
ngandconfused,
shetri
edtor
eason
wit
hhim.“Raj
iv,
Itol
dyouitwasnotuptome—”
“
Liar
!”

Heletgoofhersoabruptlyt
hatMayastumbled
backward,onl
ythebackofthesof
aprevent
edher
fr
om fal
li
ngf l
atonherass.

Shegr
abbedontothesoftl
eather
,herheadhanging
l
oseasshedraggedai
rintoherpumpinglungs.

“Let
’sconti
nuet hi
sinthebedroom.”Hewalked
backtothedrinkscabinet
,coolandcalm,
butMaya
noti
cedhishandt rembli
ngashepour edt
hewhisky
i
ntotheglass.“Come.”

Shewatchedhim wal
kdownthepassageand
di
sappearint
othebedroom.

Herhear
tpoundi
ng,herbodymoi
stwit
hsweatand
ar
ousal,
Mayadidnotknowwhattodo.Thi
swasa
sideofRaj
ivshehadneverseenbefor
e,yetitdi
dn’t
real
lysur
pri
seher.Apartofherhadal
waysknown
therewasadarkersi
detohim—asensual,darkside.

Shestaredaroundher ,i
nahazeofl ust.Shecould
grabherbagandl eave—hewasnotst opping
her—butherbodywasweakwi t
hdesire,weakwi t
h
l
ongingtofoll
owhi mi nt
othatbedroom andal l
ow
himtofini
shwhathehadst art
ed.Thef actthathe
hadbeenhardandr eadyforherpull
edhersl owly
towardthebedroom.

Hewassit
ti
nginthearmchairi
nthecorner
,si
ppi
ng
hi
sdr
ink,
hisshi
rtunbutt
oned,exposi
ngadark
br
ownstr
ipofmuscledtorso.

“It
houghtyouwer egoingtodoar unner.
”Theankl
e
ofonelongl egresti
ngonhi sbendedknee,het
ook
asipofhisdr i
nk,gazingatherfrom abovet
heri
m
oftheglass.“Takeoffyourclot
hes.”
“No.”Event
houghherpanti
esweresoakedt
hrough,
herbodythrobbi
ngforhi
m,theyneededt
ocl
earthe
airf
irst
.“Weneedtotal
k—”

“ThenI
’lldoitf
oryou.
”Hest
oodupi nonel i
the
move,droppingtheempt
ygl
assontot hecarpet
withathud,andmovedli
keafel
inepredatortowar
d
her.

“No,pl
ease,Raji
v—”Shebackedawayunt
ilherl
egs
hitt
hesideofthebed.

“Youshouldhavel eftwhenyouhadt hechance,

Maya.”Therewasr egreti
nhi svoice,regretanda
sensualresi
gnati
on.Hest oodrightinf r
ontofher
almosttouchi
ngher ,
hishar deyeshol dinghersli
ke
ananimalinat r
ap.Tr ansfixedbyhi spitil
essgaze,
shefeltr
athert
hansawhi shandsmovet othe
waist
bandofherj eans, yankingthem openand
unzi
ppi
ngt
hem i
nonej
erki
ngmove.

Shewast emptedt opushhim awaybut,besides

him bei
ngmuchst r
ongerthanher,shewantedt o
seehowf arhewoul dgowi tht
his.Andshedidn’t
havelongtowai t
.Hecr oucheddownanddr agged
herjeansandunder weardownt oherankl
es,
l
eavinghercrotchnakedandexposedwi thi
ni nches
ofhisface.

Shewasdesperat
etocoverher
selfwit
hherhands,
butcl
enchedherf
ist
stostophersel
f.

“Beauti
ful
.”Hebreathedindeepandt henblewout
soft
lyandMayaal mostcollapsedatthesensati
on
ofhiswarm breat
hcar essi
ngherthrobbi
ngf l
esh.
Hebr eat
hedinagain,deepl
y.“Icansmellyour
need.”
Chapt
er33
OnlyMaya’ sf
istedhandsandsomel astgrainsof
sel
frespectprevent edherfrom grabbi
nghi shair
andpr essi
nghisf acebet weenherachingthighs.
Therewassomet hingdeepl yerot
icaboutbeingso
exposedf r
om thewai stdown,whil
eshewasf ul
ly
coveredabove.Sher eachedouttostrokehishair
andhi sfi
nger
sci rcl
edherwr i
stinabruisi
nggr i
p.

“
No,youdon’tgettot
ouchme.”Hewaskneel
ingi
n
f
rontofhernow.“Notunl
essIsayso.
”

Onceagain,hei
mprisonedherwrist
sbehindher
backwit
honehand.Theot hersl
idupherthigh,
just
besi
detheti
nytri
angleofauburnsil
k,whereshe
wantedhim.Buthewasn’tgi
vingherwhatshe
wanted.

Heli
ftedhi
shead.“AskmewhatI’
m goingtodot
o
you.
”Hisvoicewaslowbutmesmeri
zinginit
s
command.
Mayamoi st
enedherpar
chedli
ps,
herlegs
qui
ver
ing.“Whatar
eyougoingtodotome? ”

“I
’m goi
ngtotor
mentyouwit
hmymouth.”And
wit
houtpreambleher
anhist
ongueupt
heseam of
hersex.

Maya’ skneesbuckledattheint
ensityofpleasure
stabbingher,butheheldherwrist
st i
ghtlyand
openedhi smout hwidebetweenherl egs,al
lowing
histonguetoexpl or
ehermercil
essly.Softandhar d,
playfulandteasi
ng,bri
nginghercloserandcl oser
totheedge.

Heli
ftedhi
shead,st
ari
ngintohergl azedeyes.
“Nowyoucancomef orme, baby.
”Thef ingersof
hisf
reehandj
oinedintheforayandMayal egs
gavewayasherwholebodyt rembled.Sher el
eased
astr
angledmoan,anorgasm expl
odi ngbetween
herqui
ver
ingt
highs.

Heloosenedherwristsandshef el
lbackwar
donto
thebed,hi
sheadstillbetweenherlegs,
wri
nging
everyounceofshudder i
ngpleasur
eoutofherand
thenmore.

Mayal aybackt remblingont hebed, onear m

cover i
nghereyes, asRaj i
vblewsof t
lybetweenher
splayedl egs.Shewasgaspi ngf orbreat
h, covered
i
naf i
lm ofsweat ,andtoomi ndl esstobelievewhat
hadj usthappened.Hepul l
edof fherboot s,socks,
j
eansandpant i
esasshel ayt her ewithherbot t
om
resti
ngont heedgeoft hebed, herkneesbentand
wideapar t
.Sheshoul dhavef eltashamed,
embar rassed.Shest i
llhadherT- shi
rton.Itwas
almosti ndecent,butshewast oowr ackedwi th
sensat iont ocare.

Shehear
dhi
m moveandpeepedfr
om beneat
hher
ar
m ashest
rai
ght
enedup,
steppi
ngbackfrom t
he
bedanddr aggi
nghisshirtfrom hi
sshoulders.Hi
s
beauti
ful
lydefi
nedbodyexposedt ohergaze,she
peekedathisfacetoseehi seyesfixedfi
ercel
y
betweenherlegs.Herbrainbegant ofunct
ionand
sheclosedherlegs,
scrambl ingontothebed,
keepi
ngherkneesbentt ocoverher sel
f.

Hewasshovi nghisjeansof fnow,nounder wearto

beseen, andhiser
ecti
onspr angf r
ee,hugel
y
aroused.Butitnol
ongerf r
ightenedher,r
ather,she
fel
therinnermusclesclenchatt hesi
ghtofit.

“Openyourl
egs,Maya.
”Hi
svoicest
il
lhel
dthatcol
d,
commandingtone,
andMayaranwetatthesound
ofit
.

Shestr
aightenedherlegsandopenedt hem, unable
todosowi t
hherkneesbent .Itwasj usttoomuch.
Heloweredhisnakedbodyont ohers,braci
nghi s
armsoneithersideofher.Immediatelyshef elthi
s
hoter
ecti
onsl i
dingagainsttheseepingmoi stness
betweenherlegsandinst
inct
ivel
yrai
sedherhi
pst
o
rubhersel
fagainsthi
m.

“Ohnoyoudon’t
,”hesaidi
nthathar
shvoi
ce.“
Not
unt
ilyou’
veadmitt
edthetr
uth,
Maya.”

Again,hegr
abbedherwri
stsandhel
dthem above
herheadwithonehand,
bri
nginghi
sfaceupclose
tohers.“
Whydidn’
tyoutel
lme,Maya?Why?”

God,shecouldhardl
ythink,
nevermindspeak.
Mayalift
edherli
dstogazeintohisgli
tt
eri
ng,
narr
owedeyes,knowinghewasnotgoi ngtolett
his
go,unablet
obarethestarkaccusat
ionstar
ingback
ather.

“Okay.”Shegul
pedsomeair.“You’
rer
ight
.”Her
voicesoundedhuskyandal
ien.“I
twaseasieri
fyou
believedJaywasi
nlovewit
hme. ”
Raji
v’
seyesclosedinrel
iefatheradmi
ssi
on.
“Easi
erf
oryou,butnotforme!Didyouevereven
t
hinkofthat
?”

Sheshookherheadhel
plessl
y,af
rai
dofwhathe
mightdonow.

Her anhisnoseupt hesideofherneck, br

eathi
ng
herin,andthensuddenlybi thardonherear l
obe.
Maya’sbodyj er
kedast hepai ndispersedint
oa
draggingneed,herbodyar chingupt omeethard,
dampmuscl eand,f
inal
ly,hepr esseddownont oher
,
coveri
nghermout hwi t
hhis.

Herbodybegant oundulatebeneat hhim, ashe

sl
antedhi shead, deepeningt hepenetrati
onint
oher
mouth.Hi sfreehandcoast edupbeneat hherT-
shi
rttocupherbr eastthroughherbr aandcapt ur
e
hernippl
e, caressingandsqueezi ngi
nt ur
n.With
herhandsboundaboveher ,allshecoulddowas
ki
sshi m backwi thdesper ati
on.
“Tellmewhatyouwant ,
baby.”Hisvoi
cewasst i
ll
shockingl
ycoolwhenhef i
nall
yspoke.Eventhough
coveredinafi
lm ofsweat,
hiseyeswereglazed,hi
s
voicealmostl
azy,dri
ppi
ngwi t
hsex.“Tel
lmewhat
youwantmet odot oyou.”

“
Raj
iv,
please.
”

“Il
oveitwhenyoubeg,
”hesai
dsof
tl
y.“
Butyou
needtotel
lmewhatyouwant.
”

“
Iwantyout
omakel
ovet
ome,
”shesobbedsof
tl
y.

Helaughed,
rubbinghimsel
fsuggesti
vel
ybetween
herpul
singt
highs.“Canyoubemor eexpl
ici
t?”

Mayawantedtosl
aphim,butherneedwas
st
rongert
hanheranger
.“Raj
iv,
Ineedyoui
nsi
de
me—now,
please.
”

“That’
sabitbet
ter.
”Fi
nall
y,her
eleasedherachi
ng
wrist
s,br
acinghimsel
fonhisar
ms.Then, wit
hone
suddenjer
kofhiships,hewasdeepinsi
deofher.

Hisgroanofagonydrownedouthersobbingcr
yas
herammedhi msel
fintoher,anot
heror
gasm
over
takingheri
mmedi at
ely.

“
Likethi
s?”Hegroundhisbodyi
ntoher
s.“
Ist
his
whatyouwant,Maya?”

Witheacht hr
ust,waveaf t
erwaveofexqui site
ecstasyengulfedher.Hishipswerepoundi nginto
her,notholdi
ngback, t
hesoundsofmoi stflesh
againstfl
eshmi ngli
ngwithhisgruntsof
sati
sfacti
on;suckingherdeeperanddeeperi nt
oan
unknownwor ldwher enothingmatter
ed, onlyhis
bodybur i
edinsideher,t
akingherover,andover
agai
n.

*
**

Ar
eyoual
lri
ght
?”hebr
eat
hed,
har
dlyabl
etospeak.

Raj
ivwast errif
ied.Themi nd-
blowingor gasm was
di
ssipat
ingf astandhewashi tt
ingtheear t
hhard.
He’
dgonet oofar,gottencarr
iedaway, andshe
pr
obablyhat edhi m now.Chri
st!Howcoul dhehave
l
ostcontrolli
ket hat?Howcoul dhef or
gethow
i
nnocentshewas?

Helookeddownather .God,shewassobeaut if
ul.
HerT-shi rtandbrahadf i
nall
ycomeof finthe
aft
ermat hoft hatunr elenti
ngclimax,whichseemed
togoon, andon, andon.Wer emenabl eto
experiencemul ti
ple-orgasms?Wel l
,hejusthad.The
sensat i
onofhol dingherdown, powerlessbeneath
him,tell
ingherwhatt odo, whathewasgoi ngtodo
toher,hadtakenhim waybeyondanyt hi
nghe’d
dreamedof .Per
hapsbecausehe’ dneverimagi
ned,
exceptinhisdeepest
,darkestfant
asies,doi
ngthat
kindofthi
ngt oher—t
oMaya.Theki ndofsexthat
turnedhim onmorethananyt hi
ngdid,andthenlef
t
him si
ckenedwithhimself.

Shel
if
tedherl
ids,
hereyeslangui
d.“
Ohyes,”she
murmuredbr
eathl
essl
y.“Andyou?Areyouokay?”

He’dexpect
edhatr
ed,col
daccusat
ion.Raj
iv’
s
anxiet
yeasedanotch.Heswal
lowedhard,hear
t
thumping.“
Yeah,
whydoyouask? ”

“Becauseyouwereri
ght,
Raj.
”Sheli
ft
edatr
embli
ng
handtohisface.“
Ishoul
dhavetol
dyout
hetrut
h
aboutJay.
”

“Yeah,youshoul
dhave,
”heagr
eed.“ButIshoul
dn’
t
havereactedt
hewayIdid.
”Heclosedhiseyes,
l
ovi
ngi
twhenshecar
essedhi
mli
ket
his.

“MaybeIdeser
vedit
.”Shemovedsensuousl
y
beneat
hhim.“Foral
lIputyout
hrough.
”

Raji
v’sbodysti
rr
edatherwor ds.‘
MaybeIdeser
ved
i
t.’
Shewasn’tangry.Shedi
dn’that
ewhathe’ddone
toher.God,whywashef eel
ingthi
srushof
exci
tement?

“Ir
eal
lydi
dn’
tmeant
obesor ough.
”Hisbr
eat
hing
hal
tedashewai
tedf
orhert
oanswer .

“Mmm, youwererat
herrough,
weren’
tyou?”Eyes
closed,herfi
nger
strai
leddowntocir
clehi
snippl
e.
“Cold,yethotatt
hesamet i
me.”

Hissensessurged,
unabl
etobeli
evewhathewas
hear
ing.“Maya,l
ookatme.”Heneededt
oseeher
eyes, herexpressi
on.Sheopenedt hosecateyes
andl ookedathi m wit
hasexy,lazysmile,
hitt
ing
Rajivlowi nthegroin.“
I’
m sor
ryIwassor oughand
cold.”

“
It
’sokay.Youdi
dn’tst
aycol
dforlong.Andt
he
r
oughpar t
—well
,i
twaskindofsexy.”

“God,
Maya!Don’
tsayt
hingsl
iket
hat
.Youdon’
t
knowwhatyoudotome.”

Sherubbedt
hei
nst
epofherf
ootl
eisur
elydownhis
l
egthenupagai
n.“
Tel
lmewhatIdotoyou,Raj
.”

Chri
st!Raji
veasedhimselfoffher,dr
aggi
ng
unst
eadyf i
ngersthr
oughhishai r
.Shelayther
e,
st
ari
ngathi mthroughheavy-l
iddedeyes—sati
ated.
Shereall
yhadenjoyedit
,andt hatonlymadehim
wantmor e.Andthatwascrazy.
Hewasconvi ncedshe’dhat ehi mforlosi
ngcontrol
,
fort
akinghersor uthl
essly,buthewasbei nggiven
asecondchanceandhewasn’ taboutt oscr
ewi tup
now.Butwhati fsheli
kesi t
?Whati fshewant s
more?Thedemoni nhim hadal lt
herightquest
ions,
i
fnottheanswer s.

“I
’
m sorryIneverthankedyouforthoseanklet
s,
Raj.
”Herwor dsbroughthi
m, merci
full
y,backdown
t
oear t
h.“Theyreall
yarebeauti
ful
.”

“I
’dl
iketoseethem onyou.
”Hepaused“
Justt
hem
andnothingel
se.”

Hereyesopenedagai
n,gl
it
ter
inggr
eenandcur
ious.
“Real
ly?
”

“Youdidn’
tbr
ingthem wit
hyoubyanychance? ”
Theideawasheatinghisvei
ns.Hewasalready
hardaswood,buthedidn’twanthert
oknowwhata
sexualdevi
anthewas.

Sheshookherhead.“
No.Iwasi
nsuchahur
ryt
o
l
eave”

Hehesitat
ed,wonderi
ngifheshoul
dtellher.“
I
boughtyouanothergi
ftbesi
destheanklet
s.”Ther
e
wasnogoi ngbacknow.

Shest
aredathi
m,heri
nter
estpi
qued.“
Why?
”

“Why?BecauseIwant edto.”Anyot herwoman

wouldhaveaskedWhat ?butshewasn’ tanyother
woman.Heshi ft
eduncomf ortably,nervous.“ButI
knewyouwoul dn’
tacceptit.
”Shef r
owned.“ Why
not?Isitsomet
hingexpensive?”Heshr ugged,
avoidi
nghergaze.“No,that
’snott hereason.
Anywayyoupr obabl
ywoul dn’tl
ikeit.ForgetI
ment i
onedit
.”Whycouldhenothavekeptqui et?
“
Doyouhavei
ther
e?”Si
lence.“
Coul
dIatl
eastsee
i
t?”

Hi
shear
twasbegi
nni
ngt
opound.“
Itol
dyou,
you
won’
t

l
ikei
t.
”

Shesatup,herlonghairhangi
ngdeli
ciousl
yover
herbr
easts,al
lowinghernippl
est
opeakoutasshe
moved.“Iwouldreal
lyli
ketoseei
t,pl
ease?”

Hedi
dn’twanthertoseehowar ousedhewasj ust
byt
heirconver
sat
ion.Lucki
ly,
theterr
y-cl
othr
obe
wasatthebott
om ofthebed.

Hegrabbeditandtur
nedasideasheshruggedi
ton.
Thegif
t,whi
chhe’dboughtonimpulse,
wasatthe
backofadrawer.He’
dregret
tedbuyi
ngit,
not
wanti
ngtoseei
tandber
emi
ndedofhi
s
per
versi
ons.
Chapt
er34

Rajivexi
tedthewalk-
incloset
.Hecarri
edthelong,
greenvelvetboxovert
owher eshewassi t
ti
ngwi t
h
herkneesdr awnuptoherchin,herhai
racur t
ainof
coppersurroundi
ngher,anddroppeditcasuall
y
ontothebed.

“
Openi
t.
”

Shestar
edati
t,t
henupathi
m,moi
steni
ngherl
ips
asifwar
y.“
No,youopeni
t.
”

Heseatedhimselfonthesideofthebedbesideher
,
hi
smout hdrywi t
htensionandexcit
ement.Hehad
neverexpect
edhertoseei t
.Qui
ckly,andwit
hout
hesit
ati
on,hefl
ippeditopen.
Shestar
edattherol
lsofgol
dchai
nsandf
rowned.
“I
sitaneckl
ace?”

“No,notexactl
y.”Raji
vextr
actedtheshor t
er,
thicker
chain,
madeupofchunkygol dl
inks,hol
dingitclose
totheside-l
amphe’dswi t
chedonear li
er.“
Thisisa
kindofnecklace,achocker.Doyouwantt otryit
on?”Hest oppedbreathi
ng,wait
ingforheranswer .

Shehesi
tat
ed,st
ari
ngatt hegol
dcoll
ar,t
henback
athi
m andnodded.“Okay,butI
’
m notkeepi
ngit
,it
l
ooksawful
lyexpensive.
”

DearGod, thepri
cewast heleastofhisworri
es.I
f
sheallowedhimt oputthewhol ethi
ngonher .Hi
s
heartwaspumpi ng,hi
ser ect
ionachingatthe
thought.Hesli
ditgentl
ybeneat hherhairatt
he
napeofherneckandsecur edthepetit
epadlocki
n
frontatherdel
icatet
hroat.
“I
sitt
oot i
ght?”Hisvoicesoundedhoar seashesl i
d
ashaky,expertf
ingerbetweenthechai nandher
ski
n.Itwasalitt
letoolooseforhi
sliking,butthen
she’
dlostweightsincehe’dboughtit.They’dboth
l
ostweight.Hepushedt hethoughtaside,just
wanti
ngtobei nthemoment .

“No,
itfeel
sfine,
”shesaid,f
ingeringtheli
ttl
e
padl
ock.‘Whataretheotherpiecesfor?”sheasked,
l
ookingattheboxont hebed.

Hepulledoutt
herestofi t
,whichwasl ong, f
ine-
l
inked,gol
denchainsallconnectedtoacircul ar
golddi
scatthetop.“I’
l
lshowyou, i
fyou’l
lletme,”
hesaiduncert
ainl
y.“CanIputi tonyou?”

Sheglancedathim,st
il
lfi
nger
ingthel
it
tl
e,gol
d
padl
ock.“Okay,
”shesaid,
huskil
y.
Hetookadeepbr
eat
h,t
ryi
ngt
ocont
rolhi
s
exci
tement
.

‘
Kneeldownont
hebed.
”

Withouthesit
ati
on,shetwi
stedt
hatsensuousbody,
fol
dingherlonglegsbeneat
hherandresti
ngback
onherheels.

Seeingheri nthatposi t
ionsentt hebl oodf looding
tohisgroin,maki ngi tdiffi
cultforhimt othink,to
speak.Hel if
tedt heshor t
estchai nattachedt othe
topofthedi scandsnappedt hel astli
nkt ot he
padlock.Thesun- discimmedi atelyrestedf lat
againstthepal egol denski nofherbr east-bone.The
restofthechai nsf elldowni ndi ffer
entl engths,
betweenherbr easts, comingt or estinasmal lpil
e
ofgoldbet weenhert hi
ghs.Herf i
nger smoved
downt othedi scandhenot icedherni ppleshad
ti
ghtened,twohar dnubspoi ntingout war dt hr
ough
hersil
kyhai r,beggingf orat t
ent i
on.
Raji
vforcedhishandsnott oshakeashisfingers
cl
osedovert hechai
nslinkedtoeit
hersideofthe
sun-
disc.Theycurvedjustbeneathherbreastsas
hepull
edt hem out
ward.

“Li
ftyourar
ms,
”hebr
eat
hed.“
Thi
spi
ecel
ocksat
yourback.

Shel iftedherarmsandhehadt odraghi seyes

from t hosehigh, poutingbreast
swi ththeirpale
rose, hardenedni pples.Hisarmscl osedar oundher
ashesecur edthet wochai nsatherback, buthe
releasedherqui ckly,evenwhenhehear dhersuck
i
nherbr eat
hexpect antl
y.DearGod, shelooked
i
ncr edi bl
e,herar msaboveherhead, thecol l
ar,
the
sun- discandt het wochai nscurvi
ngout war d
beneat heachper fectbreast.

Ther
ewasonemor
echai
nli
nkedt
othebot
tom of
thedi
sc, whi
chalsohadt wochainsattachedtoit
,
j
ustbelowhernavel .Shelower
edherhandsand
fi
ngeredthefi
nelinksbeneathherbreasts,her
breat
hinguneven,causingherbreast
st ojumpa
l
itt
lewitheachbreath.

Rajivtookhol doft hetwochai nsthatcurveddown

l
owonherhi psandonceagai nputhi sar
msar ound
herbackt osecur ethem togetherjustaboveher
smoot hlyroundedbacksi de.Foramoment ,her
breastwaspoi ntedr i
ghtathisfaceandhecoul dn’t
resi
sttakingt hattightnippleinhismout hand
suckinghar d.Shegasped, archingintohim,but
seemedt oknownott otouchhi m ashedr agged
himselfawayf rom thattempt i
ngnub.

Therewasonl
yonepieceofchainl
efttosecur
eand
i
tlaycurl
edupli
keadozingsnakebetweenher
thi
ghs.

“
Spr
eadyourl
egs,
Maya.
”Hespokewi
thaut
hor
it
y,
notwantinghert
oquesti
onwhathewasaboutt
o
do,desperat
etoseeherweari
ngi
t,ashe’
d
i
magi nedwhenhe’dboughti
t.

Shespreadherbendedkneeswi t
hdi vi
neobedience
andhesl i
ppedt helinksbetweent hel i
psofhersex,
wetandsl i
ckwi ththeircombinedj ui
ces,sl
idinghi
s
otherhandar oundherback, caressinghercheeks,
beforedrawingthechai nbetweenherbot tom
cheeks,andlinkingitsnuglytotheonedr apingher
l
owerback.

“That’
sit
,”hesai
d,st
ruggli
ngtocont
rolt
herampant
desir
ebetrayedi
nhisvoice.“
That
’showit’
smeant
tobewor n.
”

Her
aisedhi
swar
yeyest
oher
s.

“I
t’
sbeaut
if
ul,
”shesai
dinabreat
hy,
sexyvoi
ce,and
Raji
vhadtocl
osehiseyesf
oramomenttogain
somer emnantofcont
rol
.Shel
ookedl
ikeapagan
goddess.Proud,
andyet,
shyandsubmissi
veatt
he
sametime.

“
DearGod,
youar
ebeaut
if
ul,
”hewhi
sper
ed.“
Lif
t

your
sel
f.Iwantt
oseei
tasi
tshoul
dbeseen.
”

Shestraightened,kneeli
ngasi fi
nprayer,
andRajiv
unl
oosenedt hebeltofhisrobe,shr
uggingitof
f,
uncar
ingt hathisachingerecti
onwasvi si
blenow.
Hestr
et chedoutinf rontofher,l
eani
ngononear m,
dri
nki
ngheri n.

Thegol dwasaper fectfoi

lagainstherpale,
golden
skin.Thecoll
arturnedhim onbi gti
meandt hef i
ner
chainsdrapedbeneat hherup-ti
lt
edbreastsmade
hismout hwater.Hisgazefollowedthechaindown
tothetwochainsr esti
ngont heflar
eofherhi psand
thenthelastchainloopedbetweenherl egs,
betweent
hosemoist,
pouti
ngli
ps.Heli
ftedhis
handandsli
dituponesmooththi
gh,havingthe
pl
easureoff
eeli
nghertr
emblebeneat
hhi sfi
ngers.

Sher anherhandsalongthechai
nbeneat
hher
breasts,t
entat
ivel
yfi
nger
ingthem,t
hencuppi
ng
eachbr east
.

“God, Maya,”hegroaned.“Whatyoudotome? ”He

hookedonef i
ngerint
othechai nbel
owhernavel
andr anitsouthwardsuntilhi
sknuckl
ewasrubbing
againstherdistendedcli
tori
s.

Shemoanedar chingherbackashisfi
ngertr
ail
ed
downbet weenthesli
ckfl
eshbeyond.Hewas
breat
hinghard,
andhi sbodywasdamp, f
il
ledwith
tensi
on.

Shemightbet
heonewearingt
heslavecol
lar
,but
heknewhewastherealsl
aveher
e,ensl
avedbythi
s
obsessi
onwi
thher
.

*
**

“Turnoverf
orme, pl
ease,baby.
”Raji
vlif
tedhis
upperbodyoffher,r
unninghishandfrom her
breast
,toherhi
p,andthenupagai n.

Mayawasf l
oppywithexhaust
ion.“
Raj.
”Herwri
sts
werefi
nal
lyfr
ee,herar
msbentateithersi
deofher
head.“
Ican’
tmove.”

They’
dbeenmaki nglovef orhourswithaki ndof
desperati
ont hatwasal mostscar y.Hekepthol di
ng
herdown, cir
cl i
ngherwr i
st sasifshewoul drun
awayifhel ethergo.Keptbr i
nginghertoecst asy
andthenpul l
ingback.Tor ment ingher,makingher
begandt hent akingherovert hatedge,over,and
over,
again.Itwasi ncrediblyeroti
cbutslightl
y
di
sturbingatt hesamet ime.
Helif
tedhimselfoffherandturnedhergentlyover
.
“Il
oveyourback,”hewhi sper
ed.Runningboth
handsfrom hershoulder
sdownt ocupthecheeks
ofherbott
om.“ Andyourbackside,ofcourse.”

He’devent uall
yt akent hechai nsoffher, butnot
beforehe’ ddrivenhermadwi ththem, kissing,
l
ickingandsucki ngherbodywher everthechai ns
touched.Rol li
ngt hem agai nsthernippleswi thhi s
tongue, thenmovi ngdownt otormenthereven
mor ewi ththechai ntuggingbet weenherdamp
thi
ghs.Af t
erdr i
vingheri nsane, he’dtakenher ,
furi
ousl y,wit
ht hebodyj ewel l
eryon, t
hechai n
rubbingagai nsthi m andherashef orcedhert o
comei nanor gasm t hatdi dn’twanttoend.Butt hat
wasn’ tenough.He’ dtakent hechainsof f,oneby
oneandbegant omakesl ow, languorousl ovet oher.
Exploringeveryi nchofherbodywi thhismout h,his
hands, histongue, unti
lshewasbonel essand
overdosedonpl easure.
Nowhewascar essingherlowerback,
hiser ection
resti
ngagai nstthecheekofherbacksi
de, ashe
kissedt heskinofhershoulder
s.Shewasl impwi t
h
exhaust ion,
butthatdi
dn’tmeanshecoul dn’
tf eel,
andwhenhi shandmovedbet weenherlegs,
exploringher,swoll
enflesh,Mayamoaned
helplessly.

“I’
m sor ry,baby,”hewhi sper edagai nstherskin.“ I
knowyou’ retiredandsor e,butIjustcan’ tget
enough. ”Henudgedherl egsapar tgent l
yandt hen
shef eltthehotbl untheadofhi speni spushingi nt
o
heragai n.Shehear dherselfgroan.Herbodywas
moi stenoughf orhi mtoeasei nwithoutt oomuch
effortandt henhewast hr usti
ngslowl yanddeepl y
i
ntoher .Shecr iedoutashewi thdrew, al
most
compl etely,andt hrustindeep, agai n,andagai n,
untilshewasawashwi t
hsensat i
on, herinner
muscl esconvul singaroundhi mi nspasmst hat
woul dnotend.Shewasunderhi ser oti
cspell,
totall
yandut terlyhis.
Chapt
er35

Mayalif
tedherheadtothefi
nesprayofwat
er,
savor
ingthel
uxuryofthehugestat
e-of
-t
he-
art
shower,br
eat
hingint
hesensualaromaofRaji
v’s

shampoo, whi l
esoapi ngherselfbet weenhersor e,
tendert hi
ghs.Herbodywasamassofachesand
painsbuti twassat i
sfyi
ngpai n, aremi nderofwhat
hadt ranspiredbet weent hem t heni ghtbef or
e.She
shampooedherhai r,thi
nkingaboutl astnightrather
thant hefactt hatshewasl eavi ngt oday.Ithad
beenar evelationtoseehi m sot otall
youtofcont r
ol
afterhisear l
ierdet achment .Thebodyj ewell
eryhad
drivenhi m wild.He’ dkeptfinger i
ngt hechunky
chainar oundherneck, ki
ssingherski nbeneat has
het uggedati twi thhisf i
ngers, evenbi ti
ngherneck
gent l
ywi t
hhi st eeth.Whenshe’ dr eachedf orhim,
desper atetoexpl orehi sarousedf leshhe’ dgrasped
herwr ist.
“God,Maya,no,”he’
dchoked“You’
l
lmakeme
come.”Andonceagai n,
herhandshadbeenbound
behindherback.

Shest ar
edathert enderwr i
stsnot
ici
ngfaint
bruisingont heinsides.Heatbloomedwithinheras
sher ecall
edhismi ndl esspassi
on.Wouldsheever
feelsuchexqui sit
epl easureagai
ninherli
fe?She
doubt edit.

He’dwokenhergent l
yaftershower i
ng, tel
lingher
hewasgoi ngtomaket hem breakfast.Theywer e
bothhungry,nothavi
ngeat ensinceear li
ert heday
befor
e.NowMayacoul dsmel lt
hedel iciousar oma
ofgri
ll
ingbaconandshepul l
edonhi st erry-cl
oth
bathr
obe,tryi
ngnottothinkaboutsayi nggoodbye
tohim agai
n.

Shehadtobestrong.Justst
ayi
nthemomentand
focusonJayandKurt,t
heoneposit
ivet
hingthat
upli
ft
edherspi
ri
tseveryti
meshethoughtabouti
t.
Maki ngherwayt othemai nroom, Mayaf el
ther
skinprickleatthethoughtoff aci
nghi m af t
erlast
night.Lord,wouldsheeverbeabl etobear ound
him withoutfeeli
ngt hismixt
ureofanxi et
yand
excitement ?No,becauseshewoul dn’tbear ound
him aftertoday.Stop, j
ustbeinthemoment ,and
forgetaboutt hefuture,shetol
dher selffi
rmly.

Shecoul dhearhisdeep, mascul inevoiceasshe

ent eredtheroom.Hewast alki
ngt osomeoneon
thephoneandhewasbar e-chest ed.Maya
swal lowedhar d.Barefoot,hislong, powerfullegs
cladi nwhite,drawstri
ng, cot t
onpant s,hestretched
hisl egsout,resti
nghisf eetont hecoffeetable,wit
h
alapt opsitt
ingonhi sthighsandt hephoneathi s
ear ,Raji
vmanagedt olookt heimageofur bane,
mascul i
neper f
ecti
on.Shecoul djustimaginet he
headeri nagl ossymagazi ne:Thebi ll
ionai
re
relaxinginhispent houseaf t
erani ghtofreall
yhot
sex.
“I
st herenowaywecanmovei tt
ot omorrow,or
evenl at
ertoday?”hewassayi ng.“Damn…okay,
Joseph…i t
’snotyourfault
,”Helookedup, sawher
standingthere,andshruggedimpot ent
ly.“Thanks,
man, bye.”

“
Isever
ythi
ngokay?
”

“Notreall
y,Iwant edtogowi t
hyoutothehospit
al
andtheai r
port.
”Het uggedhi
slongf
inger
sthrough
hishair
, i
mpatiently.“Butt
here’
sameeti
ngat
twel
vet hatIcan’tgetoutof.”

“That’
sokay,Raj
iv.
”Blueeyesmethers,
his
frust
rati
onvi
sibl
e.“I
’mfinewit
htaki
ngbuses.I
actuall
yenj
oythem.”

“Don’
tbecrazy.
”Hethrewthephonedownont he
sofabesi
dehim.“Bi
jalwi
llt
akeyou,ofcour
se,
butI
wantedtodoi t.
”Heli
ft
edhislegsfr
om t
hecoff
ee-
tabl
e,snappingthel
aptopshutandget
ti
ngup,his
gazenotleavingher
s.“Youhadyourshower
?”

Shenodded, f
iddl
ingwitht
hebeltoft
her obe,
feel
ingri
dicul
ousl
yf l
ushedandembarrassed.“Yes,
thankyou.”

“Come.I’
vemadeusanEngl i
shbr eakfast.You
mustbestarvi
ng.”Hi
ssensualgazer oamedher
fl
ushedface.“
I’
m averybadhost.Didn’tevenfeed
youlastni
ght,
justdr
aggedyoustraighttobed.”

Shesmi led,str
ivi
ngt olookrelaxed,pushi ngback
herdamphai r
,andshovi ngherhandsi nt
ot hedeep
pocketsoft hebathrobe.Hewasobvi ouslyusedt o
thesemor ningafterscenarios,butforheri twas
compl etel
ynewandshewasn’ tsurehowt obehave.
Didpeopl etal
kaboutwhathadoccur redthenight
before,ordidtheyjustpretendi tneverhappened?
Shehadnoi dea.Allsheknewwast hatshewant ed
tosavorever
ymomentlef
twi
thhi
m.Talki
ngabout
theai
rport
,andl
eavi
ng,
wasloomi
ngoverherl
ikea
darkcl
oud.

Hepul ledastooloutf r
om beneat hthekit
chen
counterandi nvit
edhert osit,
whilehewentbehi nd
thecount eri
ntotheki t
chenandopenedt heoven.
Thesi ghtofhisdark-skinned,muscledtorsodrew
hergazeandweakenedherl i
mbs.Ther eweretwo
place-
mat s,cutl
ery,andcot t
onser vi
ett
essetupf or
them, andevent houghshehadl ostmostofher
appetite,Maya’sstomachgr umbl edashepl aceda
war m plat
efil
ledwi t
hbacon, eggs, f
ri
ed
mushr ooms, andtomat oesinfrontofher.

Hesettheot
herpl
ateonthematandmadehisway
backt
oseathimsel
fonthest
oolbesi
deher
.

Freshorangejui
ceandapotofcoff
eewereont
he
counterbesi
dessal
t,pepper
,andmust
ard.
“
Eat,pl
ease,
”hesai
d.“
You’
vel
ostenoughwei
ghtas
i
tis.
”

Sheopenedhermout htoargueaboutherwei ght

l
oss,butpoppedagr il
ledmushr oom i
nsideinst
ead.
Nowwasnott het i
met obet al
kingaboutweight
l
oss.Besides,thatlean,brownbodyandl ow-
wai
stedIndianpant swer emakingitdif
fi
cultforher
tot
hink,nevermi ndtalk.

“Idi
dn’
treal
izeyouwer
esuchagoodcook,”she
saidaf
tertr
yingt
hedel
ici
ousbaconandegg.

“I’
m not.”Hetookasipofhiscoffee,eyei
ngherover
therim ofthemug.“Engl
ishbreakfastsand
sandwichesar easgoodasIgetint hecooking
department .
”

“
Wel
l,
youmakeameanEngl
ishbr
eakf
ast
,”shesai
d,
but
teri
ngsomewar mtoastanddippingiti
ntothe
per
fectl
yfr
iedegg,f
eeli
nglessnervousnowt hat
shehadsomef oodinherstomach.

“I
t’
sal
laboutt
imi
ng,
”hesai
d.“
Myhousekeeper
doesmostoft
hecooki
ngandshoppi
ngf
orme.”

Mayast
aredathi
m.“
Youhaveahousekeeper
?”

“
Yeah.Why?Doest
hatsur
pri
seyou?
”

“No.”Shewi pedhermout
hwi
tht
henapki
n.“
Ijust
didn’
treal
ize.”

“Idon’thavet
imeforcooki
ng,
cleani
ng,
and
shopping,Maya.Someti
mesIgethomeafterni
ne
atnight.Amir
aleavesmymealinthewarmer.
”
Itsoundedquit
elonely,
butshewassurei
twasn’
t.
Hecoul dcal
lupClaraorcount
lessot
herwomeni
f
hef el
tint
hemoodcompany.

“
CanIpouryoumor
ecof
fee?
”

“Yes,pl
ease.”She’
dhadonecupoft hedeli
cious
groundcoffeeand,nowthatshe’
dcleanedherplate,
shewasr eadyforanot
her.“Whatt
imeisit,
Raj i
v?”

“I
t’
sjustaft
ert
en.”Hepushedhisplateaway.Unl
ike
her,
hehadn’thadmuchappeti
te.“Lessthantwo
hourslef
t.
”

Mayasippedhercof
fee,
avoi
dinghi
seyesand
gazi
ngar oundt
hehugeapar
tment“
Howmany
bedroomsdoyouhavehere?
”sheasked,
changi
ng
thesubject
.
Hisgazet oldherhewasawar eofwhatshewas
doingbut,afteralongpause,herelent
ed.“
There’s
anothertwobedr ooms, myoffi
ce,andaTVr oom.”
Her eachedf orherhand.“
Come, I
’l
lshowyou
around.Allyou’vereal
lyseenofmyhomei st he
damnbedr oom.”

“I
’
m notcomplai
ning,
”shesai
d,smi
li
ng,
andhe
smil
edruef
ull
ybackather.

Hisofficewassituatedalongt hecorri
dorbef orethe
mainbedr oom andal mostasbi g.Domi natedbya
hugewoodendeskseti nfrontoft hefloor-t
o-ceili
ng
windowsandscat t
eredwi thdocument sandf iles,
plusalltheimpressi
vecomput erequipmentahi gh-
techofficewouldrequire.Aftershe’dwal kedt othe
windowsandl ookedoutatt hevi ew,het ookher
hand,ledherbackt othecor ridor,andopeneda
doorfar t
heral
ongont heopposi tesidet othemai n
bedroom andhishomeof f
ice.
“
Thesecondbedroom,
”heannounced,st
andi
ngi
n
t
hedoorwaywhil
eshemadeherwayi nsi
de.

Ther oom waseasi lydoublet

hesizeofhersand
sti
llsmallerthanhis.Mainlywhi
te—nosur pri
se
there—itcontainedanen-suit
ebathroom—whi ch
shedi dn’
tgoi nto,
awar et
hathewasget t
ing
i
mpat ient.Butshet ookafewmoment st
ol ookati
t.

Thebedwaslarge,
thoughnotaslar
geashis,
cover
edinabeauti
fulembr
oider
ed,orangeI
ndi
an-
si
lkbedspr
ead.

Wit
hthematchi
ngcurt
ains,
ther
oom gavet
he
i
mpressi
onofbeingst
yli
sh,
yetwel
comingatt
he
sameti
me.

“
DoesJayeverst
ayher
e?”sheasked.
Hesighed,l
eaninghisshoulderagai
nstthe
doorj
amb.“Heusedt ost
ayhere,oft
enwhenwe
wereyounger,
andt henwhenIwasawayon
busi
ness.Theot herbedr
oom ishis,
ther
e’sst
il
l
someofhisclothesandst uf
finit
.Heneverli
ked
theKnight
sbri
dgehouse.”

Shemovedpasthim,backi
ntot
hecorr
idor,
real
izi
nghi
smi ndwasnotwi
thher
,andtheyhadso
l
itt
leti
melef
ttoget
her
.

“Youcanshowmether
estanot
herti
me,
”shesai
d,
knowingt
herewoul
dpr
obabl
yneverbe“
anot
her
ti
me.”

“Ther
e’sj
ustSanjay’sroom,aTVroom, andanother
bathr
oom,”hepointedtothedoorfaci
ngt hem at
theendofthecorri
dor.“Pl
usther
e’stheroofterr
ace
andgym upstai
rs.
Mayatr
iedt
okeepherexpr
essi
onbl
and—ar
oof
t
err
aceandgym upst
air
s.

Foll
owi ngherbackint
othemain-
room,hemoved
towardt hecof
fee-
tabl
e,whi
lesheret
ri
evedhermug
ofcoffee.

“Canwesi tont
hecouch?”Hepaused,
hiseyes
searchingherface.“
Iwanttot
alkt
oyouabout
somet hing.”

Maya’
searli
eranxietyret
urned.Weretheygoingto
t
alkaboutl
astnight?“Yes,ofcour
se.”Shesli
dof f
t
hestoolandmadeherwayt ooneoft hesofas,
wonderi
ngwaril
ywhathewant edtotalkabout.

“
Comesi ther
e.”Hetookherhand,thefirstt
ime
t
hey’
dtouchedsinceshe’
denteredther oom, and
t
hatt
hri
llofawarenesswasstil
lthere.
“
Iwanttoaskyousomet hi
ng,
”hesaid,al
most
t
ent
ati
vely,
turni
ngtofaceher
.“ButIdon’
twantyou
t
osayanythingunt
ilI
’
m done,okay?
”

Shenoddedherhead,
int
ri
gued.Uncer
tai
ntywas
nothi
sstyl
e.

“Iwantyout
othi
nkaboutitwhil
eyou’r
ebackin
Edinbur
gh,
”hesaid.“
Justt
hinkabouti
t.Idon’
twant
ananswernow.”

“
What
?”Whatwasi
t?

“
I’
llcometoEdi
nburghtheweekendaf
terI
’
vesort
ed
t
hingsouti
nGoa,”hetol
dher.“
Thenyoucangive
meyouranswer.
”

Shewasbeginni
ngtoseewher
ethi
swasgoi
ng,
but
di
dn’
tsayanythi
ng.
“
Idon’twantt
ostopseei
ngyou,Maya.”Hisgaze
l
ockedwithher
s,i
mplori
ng.“
Please,
justt
hinkabout
i
t?”

“Youmayf al
lmadlyinlovewithyourprospect
ive
bri
de,”wasallshecoul
dt hi
nktosay,eventhough
thethoughtmadeitpai
nfulforhert
obr eat
he.

“
That
’snevergoi
ngt
ohappen.
”

Hiswordsshouldn’tl
eaveherr
elieved.Therewoul
d
al
waysbeot herprospect
ivebr
ides,andthisone
soundedperfect
.

“Wil
lyouthi
nkaboutit
?”Hisbeaut
if
ul,
beseechi
ng
eyeswerealmostherundoi
ng.

“
Raj
iv,
I—”
“Maya,
please,
justt
hinkabouti
t!
”Hisgazehel
d
her
s,hi
sthumbgent l
ycaressi
ngherknuckl
es.

“
Butwhat
’s—”

“No.Nobut s,notyet.Iwantyou, needyou, inmy

l
ife.IknowI’m allscrewedup, myl ifeisalloverthe
place,andyetyou’ret heonlythingIcant hi
nk
about.”Hedrewabr eat h,massagingt hebackof
hisneckwi t
hhi sfreehand.“ AsIsai d,notexactl
y
primeboyfri
endmat erial.
”Hissmi l
ewascyni cal
.
“Youcoulddosomuchbet t
er,
butt het houghtof
youwi thanotherman, it
—it’
sunbear abletome. ”
Thewor dswer etornf rom him.

Shecoul
dsayitwasthesameforher
,butshedi
dn’
t.
“I
’
m noti
nter
estedi
nothermen.
”

“
Butt
hey’
rei
nter
est
edi
nyou,
andi
t’
sonl
ygoi
ngt
o
getworse,especi
all
yonceyoust artworking.”He
paused,stari
ngdownatt heirentwinedfingers.
“Andsoonerorlater,
you’
r egoingtof i
ndsomeone
whocanof f
eryousomuchmor ethanIcan. ”He
tookalong,deepbreath,
hi sfacetakingont hat
hauntedlookthatshecouldn’tbear.

“
Okay,
”shesai
dsof
tl
y.“
I’
llt
hinkabouti
t.
”

Heclosedhiseyesinreli
ef,
rest
inghi sheadback
agai
nstthesofa,t
heirf
ingersst
illl
inked.

“
I’
m goingt
ogogetdr essed,”shetol
dhim af
tera
l
ongsil
ence,tr
yingtount angleherfi
nger
sfrom hi
s.
“
Raj,i
t’
sgett
inglate,
Ineedt odr ymyhair.
”

“
Yeah,Iknow.
”Hel
i
ftedhi
seyel
ids.“
Maya,
about
l
astni
ght…”
Shef
eltherf
acef
lushwi
thheat
.“Yes?
”

“Idon’tnor mall
yl oseitl
iket hat
.”Hewaswor king
herpal m withhist humb, andMayabegant of eel
thatfamiliarheatbl oomingdeepi nsi
deher .
“Iwenta
bitcrazy.Iforgothownewyouar etoallofthi s,but
that’
snoexcuse. ”Her akedhi slongfingersthr ough
hishair.“Itwasj ust—withitbeingyourl astnight
andf i
ndingoutaboutSanj ay,asIsaid—Iwentabi t
crazy.”Finall
y,hel if
tedhisheadt ostareather ,hi
s
blueeyesf i
ll
edwi thremor se.“I
twon’thappenagai n,
I’
llneverbesor oughl i
keIwasl astnight .
”

Herflushsubsidedathiswords.“Whynot ?”She
for
cedher sel
ftoholdhisgaze.“Di
dn’tyoulikei
t?”
Herbr eat
hshortenedatthememor y.“Il
ikeitwhen
youloseit—losecontr
ol.
”

“Christ
,Maya!
”Hishandssl i
dbeneaththewide
sleevesoft
hebat hr
obe,caressi
ngherwarm ski
n
andherbodyar chedinst
incti
vel
y.Raj
ivgri
ppedher
bareshoul
der
sundertherobeandpul
ledher
towardhi
snakedchest.“
Youdon’
tknowwhat
you’
resayi
ng.
”

Hi
smout
hcover
edher
s,onehandsl
idi
ngr
ightup
i
nsi
de

t
hebathrobetocl
aspherthroat,
holdi
nghersti
ll
whi
lehedeepenedtheki
ss, ur
gentl
ysli
dinghis
t
ongueintothewarmint
eri
orofhermout h,l
eaving
t
hem bothhotandoutofbreath.

Feel
ingsuddenl
yaudaci
ousandawashwither
oti
c
need,Mayapushedhi
sshoul
dersunt
ilhewaslyi
ng
backonthecouch.

“
Maya,
what
—”

Shecover
edhi
sli
pswi
thherf
inger
.“Hush,
justl
ay
backandr
elax.
”

Shel i
ftedherselfandstraddledhi
ships,
grabbing
hisforearms,pushingthem abovehim ashe’ddone
toherlastnight.Slowlysheloweredherheadand
teasedhi sl
ipswi t
hhert ongueunti
lhegroaned,
l
iftedhishead, andtri
edt ocaptur
ehermout hwit
h
his,butshewast ooquickforhim.

“Don’
tmove.”Shedrewherhandsdownagai nsthi
s
bunchedshoulder
sandpressedhermouthtohis
nippl
e,sucki
ngandthenni
bblingwi
thherteeth.

Hishipsl i
ft
edoffthecouchandshewi denedher
l
egs, all
owingtherobetogapeopen, gi
vi nghis
groi
naccesst ohersex.Moi sturegather edbetween
herthighs,al
readyhotandpul si
ngwi thar ousal,
and
hegroanedagai n,l
ouderandl onger.Shet ookpity
onhim, pressi
ngherselfagainsthisgroin,li
quid
heateasingoutofherashi shot ,har
df leshpushed
upur gentl
yagainsther
.
Chapt
er36

Itfeltwonder fultobeabovehim,taki
ngcont
rol
,and
Mayapr essedhotwetkissestothesmoothski
nof
hist ense, t
ightenedt
orso,l
icki
ngandsucki
ng,
l
ovi ngt hetasteofhim.

Shelif
tedherselfandar chedherback,undoingthe
knotofthesoftbeltaroundherwai st
.Slowly,
watchinghi
m, shesl i
dt herobefr
om hershoulders
andallowedittofallaroundher.Hiseyesnarrowed,
roamingherfacebef oresettl
ingonherbreasts.

Shelif
tedherhandsandcuppedeachbreast
,
squeezingherni
ppl
esandgaspingwit
hshockat
sensati
onsshehadnotexpected.

“Don’tst
op,
”hebreathed,movi
nghishipsbackand
fort
hagainsther
,gr
ippingthear
m ofthecouchwit
h
hishands.
Hi
swordsmadeherbr
ave.Besi
des,
wat
chi
nghi
m
wat
ch

hertouchhersel
fwasincr
edibl
yeroti
c.She
conti
nuedtocaressherbr
easts,f
ocusingonher
nippl
es,shockedasthr
obsofpleasur
edarted
betweenherlegs,wher
ehishugearousalwas
movingagainsther.

Eyesheavywit
hdesire,
Rajivloweredhisgazeto
wherethei
rbodi
esmetbet weenherlegs.Maya
tr
ail
edherhandslowerdownoverhert autstomach
tosett
leatt
hetopofherthighs,f
raminghersex.

“
Touchyour
sel
f,baby,
please”hechoked.“
Doi
tfor
me.
”

Shewastrembl
ing,
shockedatherownwanton
behavi
or,
buthi
sobviousar
ousalatwhatshewas
doingspurredheron.Movi ngherhandst otheapex
ofherthighs, shewentforhiserecti
onfi
rst
,
caressi
ngt hehar d,smoothskin,sl
ickwi
thher
j
uices,fascinatedbythehotthrobbingpowerofhim.
Sher anherf ingeral
ongthetip,f
indingi
toozi
ng
wit
hmoi st
ur e.

Hisgaspbecamealongt
ort
uredgr
oan.“
Maya,
God,
Ineedtot
ouchyou.
”

“
No!”Shewasdet
ermi
nedtot
akecont
rolt
hist
ime.
“
It
’smytur
n,Raj
.Don’
tmove.
”

Fist
sclenched,hearchedhisback,j
erki
nghi
shi
ps
betweenherlegs.Sheknewwhatt hi
swascosti
ng
hi
m, buthedidasshesai d.

Shelif
tedherfi
nger
,wetwithhisar
ousal,and
suckediti
ntohermouth,gazi
ngwithsensual
knowledgeint
ohisbur
ningeyes.Hisgazefixat
ed
onhermout h, hedr
aggedai ri
ntohislungs,
obviouslyontheedgeofl osi
ngcontrol.I
twas
headyknowi ngshehadt hispoweroverhim and,f
or
thefir
sttime,shewasgai ni
ngtheconf i
dencetouse
i
t.Theknowl edgethatt
hismi ghtbetheirl
astt
ime,
onlyservedtoeggheron.

Final
ly,
shepull
edherf i
ngerfr
om hermout
hand
di
dashe’ daskedher.Shetouchedher
sel
f,cl
osi
ng
hereyes,moaningassweetsensati
onsuncoi
led
i
nsideher.

“
Openyoureyes,
Maya.
”Hi
svoi
cebr
oke.“
Lookat
me!
”

Shel
if
tedhereyel
ids,
capt
uredbyt
hei
ntensi
tyof
hi
sburni
ng,bl
ueeyes.

“
Nowgi
vemeyourf
inger
.”
Hereyeswidened,butshedidashesaid.Li
fti
ngher
fi
ngerfr
om betweenherlegs,Mayapusheditint
o
hi
swai t
ingmouth.

Hesuckedhard,muchhardert
hanshehad,i
nand
out,
nottaki
nghiseyesof
fhers.Thei
nti
macyoft
he
actwasalmostherundoi
ng.

Shemoaned, sli
dingherf ingeroutofhi swetmout h.
Unabletoholdbackt hepower fulsurgeofneed, she
l
eanedbot hhandsagai nsthi sdamp, muscledchest
andbegant omovef urti
vel ybackandf ort
h,the
fr
icti
onalmostt oomucht obear .Rubbinghar der
andharder,unt i
lthatal
lt oofami li
arecstasyf l
ooded
betweenherl egst oconvul sethroughherwhol e
body,Mayacol l
apsedont opofhi m wi t
haf eralcry.
Hisbodywaswetandt rembl i
ngbeneat hher s.He
broughthi
shandsdownt ocaressherbot tom, but
shewasn’tfinishedwi t
hhi m yet.Grabbinghisar ms
withshaki
nghands, shepushedt hem backabove
hishead.
“Noyoudon’t
,”shegasped,awashwithpleasure
andtr
emblingfrom t
heorgasm,butdeter
mi nedto
keepcont
rol.

“
Maya,
forpi
ty’
ssake.Ican’
tdot
his!
”

“Ohyesyoucan,”shebr eat
hed.Str
etchi
ng,weak
andlangui
d,sheleanedherweightintoherar
ms,
pressi
ngdownont herigidmusclesofhisupper
-
arms.

Hereleasedast rangledgr oan,conti

nuingt oli
ftand
workhishipsagai nstthemoi stureheror gasm had
pr
oduced, al
lowinghert oholdhisar msinpl ace.
Mayal i
ft
edhert highsawayf rom hisgroin,heari
ng
hi
m growlashi swhol ebodycl enchinprotest.She
i
gnoredhisgaspi ngpl easandmoveddown,
pr
essinghot, wetkissest ohischest ,hi
snipples,hi
s
st
omach, andf i
nallyhishuge, strai
ningmanhood.
God,hewassobig.Itneverfai
ledt
oamazeher
.
Sheli
ckedherl
ipsbeforerunni
nghert
onguefr
om
ther
oottothet
ipofhispenis.

“
Maya,
please.God—”

“Il
ovei twhenyoubeg. ”Sherepeatedwhathe’d
sai
dt oherlastnight,
li
fti
nghereyest ogaze
str
aightathim asshet ooktheswollenheadinher
mout h.Shewatchedhi seyesdroopclosed,hi
s
mout hopen,draggingairi
ntohislungs.

Mayapl easuredhim withhermout h,

amazedat
howhar dandyetsmoot hhewas.Hi shipsjer
ked
upwar d,wantingmore,andshegavei ttohim,
takingasmuchofhi mi ntohermout hasshe
possi blycould.Shepull
edbacksl owlytoseehim
wat chingherwi thgl
azedeyes, hi
sbodyt ensi
ngand
j
er king.Shekepteyecont actaslongasshecoul d,
buti twasdi f
ficul
twhensheal sowant edtowatch
whatshewasdoi ng.
Mayaf elthishandsinherhair.Shewantedtotell
himt oputar msbackup, l
ikeheconstant
lydidwith
her,butdecidedtoleti
tgo.Hishandst wist
edinto
herhair,pressi
ngdownj ustalit
tl
e.Sheknewhe
washol dingback,coul
dheart heurgencyinhis
raggedbr eathi
ng,andt
henhepul l
edhermouthof f
ofhim.

“
Stop,
please,
Maya.
”

Hebegant ocombhi sfingersthroughherhai r,

caressi
ngherscal p,herface,andf i
nal
ly,hermout h,
tr
acingherl i
pswithhist humb,thenpushi ngit
i
nside,wher esheinsti
nct i
vel
ysuckedoni t.He
groaned,explor
ingthewar m,softi
nter
iorwi ththe
padofhist humb.

“Enough,Maya,
”hechoked,
swiftl
ygri
ppi
ngher
upperarmsandlif
ti
nghereff
ort
lessl
ybackont
ohi
s
gr
oin.

Onlyt
hist
imehesettl
edheralit
tl
ehi
gherandwit
h
ashif
tofhishi
pshiserect
ionf
oundit
star
get.Hi
s
handsmoveddownt ograbherhi
ps,
pushi
ngher
downwhilehethr
ustint
oher.

“
OhGod, Raj
!”Herbodywassore,ul
tr
a-sensi
ti
ve
f
rom t
henightbef
ore,butwit
heachstr
oke,theache
t
urnedint
osweetecstasy.

Sher el
easedal ong,feralcryast heirbodi
esbegan
tomovei nuni son, fi
ndingt heirr
hythm.Mayacoul d
feelhim deepwi thinher, st
retchi
ngandl engtheni
ng
hispenetration,leavi
nghergaspi ngandsobbi ng,
whilehegr ippedherhi ps, l
ift
ingandpushi ngher
downhar dwi t
heachst roke.Rammi nghimselfi
nto
heragain, andagai n.

*
**
After
war d,Raj i
vlaymot i
onless, hishear tpoundi ng
i
nhi schest .Mayawasspr eadoutont opofhi m,
herhandst hr eadedintohi shair, herf acer esti
ngon
hisheavingchest .Hecoul dhar dlybel i
evewhathad
j
usthappened.He’ dneverenj oyedawomant aking
controlbefore.Itwasj ustnothi st hing.Butwhen
Mayahadsatabovehi m, herbeaut ifulbodyar ched,
i
nr hythm wi t
hhi s,hesimpl ycoul dn’ tmove.He’ d
wantedt ogr abher ,t
ot hrowhert ot hef l
oor ,and
takeoverment all
yaswel lasphysi cally.Buthavi ng
herabovehi ml i
kethat, t
akingherpl easur einher
ownsweett ime, gazi
ngdownathi mf rom aposi ti
on
ofpower ,hadt hrownhi mi ntoanewdi mensi on.

Herobviouspl easure,hersl
owsexymoves, hadleft
him hel
pless,helplessandlovi
ngit.Lovi
ngtheway
shelookedathi m whenshewasdoi ngwhatshe
wantedtodo, lovingthefeel
ingofopeninghimself
uptoher, andallowingherthepleasureoft
aking
tot
alcontrol.
Herfinger
strai
ledlazi
lyf
rom hishairtohi
sdamp
faceandhelift
edahandf rom hertautbacksi
det
o
presshisl
ipsintoherpal
m.

Andt
henhesawt
hebr
uises.“
Whatt
hef
uck!
”

Hejer
kedontohi
ssi
de,pressi
ngheri
ntot
heback
oft
hesofa,
holdi
ngherhandinhi
s.

“Raj
,whatisi
t.”Hervoi
cesoundedbl
urr
ed, butshe
openedhereyesinshockathi
scrudeoutburst.

“Letmeseet heotherone.
”Hegrabbedherother
hand,for
cinghimselfnott
osqueezeit
,andturnedi
t
overtoseetheinsideofherf
ragi
le,
vei
nedwr i
st.
“DearGod!”

Hereyesf
oll
owedhi
sgazet
oherhands,
pal
msup,
br
uisesvi
sibl
eonherbot
hwr
ist
s.

“Raj,i
t’
sokay,”shemurmur ed,
makinghi
mf eeleven
mor esickened.“
Inoti
cedthem int
heshower.It
’s
nothing.Ibrui
sereal
lyeasi
ly—”

“Jesus.Whatkindofanimalam I
?”Heli
ft
edhis
tormentedeyestohers.“
Sanjaywasri
ght.Iwi
llr
uin
you!”

*
**

Mayastar
edatherrefl
ect
ioni
nthemirr
or,
wonder
ingifsheshoul
dwearherhai
ruporleavei
t
l
oose.I
f

Josi
ewer
earoundshecoul
dhaveaskedher,but
Josi
ewasworki
ngtoni
ght
.Bit
ingint
oherbott
om li
p,
Mayasmoot
hedherhandsoverherthi
ghs,
gazing
backi nt
othemi r
ror.Shehadont hesamebl ack
dressshe’dfir
stwor nt othatdreadfuldi
nner-part
y
atCranthorpeinWi l
tshire.Theweat herwasmuch
coolernowt hanithadbeent hatevening,
soshe’ d
teamedi twit
hblackt ights,boots,andavintage,
burgundyjackettokeepoutt hecool ,
dampweat her
.
Autumnwasset t
ingi n.Thedayswer egetti
ng
shorterandshe’dbest art
ingwor kattheBradfiel
d
CenteronMonday.

Fir
stthough,shehadt ogetthismeet i
ngwi t
hRajiv
outoftheway.Herst omachl urchedatt hethought.
Shewoul dbeseeinghimi nl
esst hananhour ,
seeinghim,andsayinggoodbye.Put ti
ngt hi
saff
air
behindherandgetti
ngonwi thherl i
fe,hernewjob,
whichshehopedwoul dkeepherbusy.Keepher
mindof ft
hemanwhohadoccupi edhert hought
s
constantl
ythesepasttwoweeks.

Si
nceleavi
ngLondonhermindhadbeeni
ntur
moil
.
Thatscenewi
thRaji
vinLondon,
whenhe’
dseen
thebruisesonherwr ist
s,haddisturbedher.She’
d
fel
thewasover -reacti
ngandhadt ol
dhim so,which
hadonlyi nfuri
atedhim evenmor e.Heseemedf i
ll
ed
withguiltandaki ndofsel f
-l
oathi
ngandherhear t
wentoutt ohim.Hewasnotabadman, sheknew
thatabsolutel
y.Sur ehehadhi sfl
aws—whodi dn’
t?
Buthewascer tainlynotthemonst erheseemedt o
beli
evehewas.Andhercomi ngintohisli
fehad
onlyservedt oenhancehi stroubl
edmi nd.

“Areyoustil
lcomingtoEdi
nburgh?”she’
dasked
thatmorninginLondon,
aft
erhe’dseenthebrui
ses
andfreakedout.

He’dbeensit
ti
ngontheedgeofthesof
awi t
hhis
headinhishands.Hel
if
tedhi
sfacetostar
estar
kly
ather.“
Doyouwantmet o?”

Mayaknewitwascr azy.Thi
saffai
rcouldnot
cont
inue,
butsheneededt oseehim agai
n,j
ustone
l
astti
me.Shecouldn’tbearf
orittoendli
kethi
s.
“
Yes,
”shebr
eat
hed,
meet
inghi
ssear
chi
nggaze.

“Well
,consi
deri
ngwhatI’
vedone—”hesaid,t
alki
ng
aboutthebr
uises.“
—I’
l
lunderst
andperf
ectl
yifyour
answerisNowhenIcomet oEdinbur
gh.”

Shewant edtocont i
nuear guingwithhim,
reassuri
nghimt hatshebr uisedreall
yeasil
y,that
therewasnor easonf orhimt ofeelbad,butshe
knewt hatwouldonlymakehi m angriert
hanhe
alr
eadywaswi t
hhimsel f.Soshej ustnodded,
rel
ievedthathewasst i
llcomingupt oseeher.Even
i
fshesai dno,atleastshewoul dgett oseehim one
l
astt i
me.

They’
dhar dl
yspokenonthewayt ot
hehospi
tal.
He’dbeenquiet
, mor
ose,andshe’
ddeci
dednotto
tr
yandl i
ghtenthemood.Itwoul
dhavebeenafutil
e
eff
ortanyway.Theycoul
dt al
kwhenhecamet o
Edinburgh.Hehadn’tevenkissedhergoodbye, j
ust
i
nformedheri nt
hatcool,
detachedmannert hat
Bij
alwoul dpickheruphereatthehospi talatone
o’
clockt otakehertot
heai r
port.She’
dr eachedout
herhandandst r
okedhischeekbuthe’ dpulledit
away,star i
ngatthebrui
sesonherwr i
st,before
pressi
nghi sli
pstothem andgazi ngatherwi t
h
bl
eak, painedeyes.

Wat chingthePor schedr i

veaway, Mayahad
experiencedadevast ati
ngsenseofl oss.Hewas
goingt oIndianextweekendt omeetanI ndian
womanwhom hi smot herbel i
evedwoul dmaket he
perfectwi f
e.Jeal ouslysl i
cedt hroughher .Ther e
wasagoodchancet hathewoul dseewhathi s
mot hersawi nt hisprospect i
vebr i
deandf allmadly
i
nl ovewi thher.Ignor ingt hephysi calpaint hat
piercedherchest ,maki ngi tdi
ffi
cul tt
obr eat he,
Mayat ri
edtell
ingher sel fitwouldbef orthebest .
Theirrelati
onshi phadnof uture.Shewaspr obably
goingt osaynot ohi spr oposalanyway.I fhe
decidedt hiswomani nGoawasr i
ghtf orhi m, she
shouldfeelpleasedf orhi
m.Aft
eral
l,
hedeserved
somehappi ness.Lif
ehadnotbeeneasyonhim.
Despiteallhismi l
li
ons,he’
dhadhi
sfairshar
eof
hardshipandsuf feri
ng.
Chapt
er37

WhenMayaar ri
ved,JayandKur twereshar i
ngthe
hospitalbedr eadingthedai lynewspaper s,l
ooking
l
ikeat ypicalSundaymor ningcoupl e,despit
ethe
factthati twasMonday.Mayasmi l
edi ndul
gently.
Thiswaswhatr eall
ymat tered.Herangst -
ri
dden
mor ningwi thRajivwasf orcedintothebackgr ound
bythej oythatsurroundedt hiscouple.

“
Maya!
”theyexcl
aimedi
nuni
son.

“
Final
ly,
”Jayadded,
eyebr
owsr
aised.

“
Hi,youtwo.
”Shedr oppedherbagont
oachairand
wenttohugthem bothintur
n.“
Jayyoulook
amazi
ng,
posi
ti
vel
ygl
owi
ng.

Hesmiled,gl
anci
ngatKur
tthenbackather
.“The
poweroflove.
”

Kurtfol
dedt
henewspaper
sasJaygrabbedher
handanddrewhercl
osert
othebed.“
Howar eyou?
Iexpect
edyouher
eearl
ier
.”

Mayahel dhersmi le,det

erminedt okeept hemood
positi
veandl ight.“Oh,Isleptl
ate,hadal ovely
breakfast.
”Drawi ngi nadeepbr eath,shekepther
answervague.“ Besides,Iwantedt ogiveyout wo
ti
meal one.I’m sureyouhadal otoftalking
and—cat chingup—t odo.”Jayactuall
ybl ushedand
Mayal aughed.“ I’
m sohappyt hisisfinall
ysorted
out.”

Jay’
sexpressionchanged.“I
t’
snotal
lsor
ted,
Maya,”hesaidinthatser
iousvoi
ce.“
It
’sf
arfr
om
sor
ted.
”

“Jay!
”Kurtal
mostshout
ed.“
Wil
lyoust
opgoi
ngon
aboutyourmother
?”

“Wel
lit
’st
rue.
”Jaygl
ancedatMaya.“
Hedoesn’
t
knowmymot her
.”

“True,butwedon’thavet
owor r
yaboutherr i
ght
now. ”Kurtdr
oppedthenewspapersontot
hef loor
.
“Jay,pleaseputasi
deyourIndi
an,Cat
holi
c,
guilt
—thisshameofyours,andlet
’sj
ustenjoythe
moment .
”

“
Iknow,Iknow.You’
reri
ght.
”Jayrubbedhiseyes
wit
hhispalms.“
Ispoketohert
hismor ni
ng,Maya.
”

“
Youdi
d?Fr
om I
ndi
a?”
“Yeah.
”Henodded.“Sheseemedr
eli
eved.IguessI
soundedhappy,
whichIam.”

Kur
tgavehi
m ar
eassur
ingsmi
le.“
See?
”

“Maybeshe’llbeokayabouti
t,r
eli
evedthatyou’
re
happy,heal
thyagain.
”Mayaadded, notr
eall
y
convi
nced.“Whendoyoupl anont el
li
ngher?”

Jaylookedatherwi t
hworri
edeyes,
notconvi
nced
ei
ther.“
I’
llwai
tti
llsheget
sbackfrom I
ndi
a.”

“YoucouldgiveherachancetogettoknowKur t
fi
rst
.”Asatrainedther
api
st,Mayaknewnottogive
advi
ce,butJaywasherf r
iendnothercl
ient
.“You
don’
thavetor ushi
ntotel
li
ngher.
”

“
Yout
hink?
”
Mayashrugged.“
It
’sr
eall
yuptoyouandKur tt
o
deci
dehowyou’regoi
ngtogoabouti
t,butyou
coul
djustt
akeitonedayatat
ime.Pl
ayitbyear.”

Jaynoddedeagerl
y.“
Ithinkyou’
reri
ght,Maya.
OnceshegetstoknowKur t,
shemayr eal
izehow
goodheisforme,howgoodwear etoget
her.
”He
reachedf
orKurt
’shand,squeezi
ngti
ght.

Ther estofhervisitwentwell
.Jay’smoodl ift
edas
heputhi sworriesaside.Thethreeofthem wer e
servedadel i
ciouslunch,whichseemedt obet he
normi fyouwer ebeingtreat
edi naprivat
ecl i
nicl
ike
thi
sone.Thest af
fwasf ri
endlyandhel pf
ul,not
batti
nganeyel idattheobviouslyl
ovingrelati
onship
betweent hei
rpatientandKur t
.

Itwassadsayinggoodbye.Jaywoul dbeseeingthe
doctorbef
orebeingdischar
gedl atert
hatdayand
heandKur twerebot
hexci t
edatt heprospectof
spendingsomequalit
yt i
met ogetheratRaji
v’
s
apartment.Mayafeltgui
lt
yanduncomf ort
able,
l
isteni
ngt oJayenthuseabouthowlovelythe
penthousewas,pretendi
ngshe’dneverseenthe
placehersel
f.

Lying,especi
all
ytof
ri
ends,
wasnotapl
easant
feeli
ng.

BythetimeBi j
alarri
ved,shewasr eadyt oleaveand,
al
thoughal i
ttl
etearyeyed, i
twasgener all
yahappy
goodbye.Butherf l
ighthomecameasashocki ng
surpr
ise.Bi
jaldrovehert oLondonCi t
yAi r
port,
whereapr i
vatejetwiththeMaddox- Juntalogo
beamingbrightl
yf r
om itstai
l,awai
tedher .

Mayaf eltuncomfortable,gui
lt
yatt hethoughtofall
thef uelusedjusttof l
yherbackt oEdi nburghwhen
shecoul deasil
yhavet akenanor maldomest i
c
fl
ight ,
orevent hetrain.Theluxuri
ousi nter
iorand
attentiveservi
cefrom t hesophist
icatedstewardess
onlyser vedtoenhanceherr eal
isati
onofhow
totall
ydi f
fer
entherandRaj iv’
swor l
dswer e.Thi
s
wasal if
e-st
yleshecoul dneverimaginebecoming
accust omedt o.JayandKur thadbot hemailedher
sincet henand, asAnnawasst i
lli
nIndia,
they
soundedhappyandcont ent.Jaywast aki
ngKur tt
o
allthemuseumsandgal ler
iesinLondon,aswellas
thet ouri
statt
ractions.

Theywereevenplanni
ngaweekendi
nParis
bet
weenmovi ngfr
om Raj
iv’
sapar
tmentt
othe
Knight
sbr
idgehouse.

Rajivhadt extedhert wi ceinthepastt wo

weeks—event houghhehadheremai laddr
ess—just
twobr i
eftexts.Thef i
rstonewassentsoonaf t
er
he’dr eturnedf rom Goa, l
ett
ingherknowhewas
backi nLondonandwoul di nf
orm herwhenhe
woul dbear ri
vingi nEdi nburgh.Thesecondone
wassentaweekl ater
, askingifshecouldmeethim
fordinneratt heBal mor alHotelwherehewas
staying, andcoul dhesendacart opickherup?
Whichshe’
drefused.Itwasonl
yat went
ymi nut
e
wal
ktothehotel,whichwouldgiveherti
met owork
of
fsomeofheranxi etybef
orefacinghim agai
n.

Turningawayf r
om themi rror,shedeci dedt oleave
herhai rasitwas.Shedi dn’ thavet het i
met oputit
upnow, anyway.Slidingonherbur gundy, velvet
j
acket ,shedecidedherhai rlookedni cerl oose,
besidesshedi dn’twantt ol ookover dr essed.
Nowadayspeopl eseemedt odr esscasual ly,evenin
fi
vest arhotel
s.Checki nghermake- uponel astti
me,
sheappl iedapalepi nkcolort oherl ipsandr eached
forhersmal l,
sli
ngbag, prepar i
ngher selfment al
ly
toleavet hesecurit
yofherf latandmakeherwayt o
thehot elwhereRajivawai tedher .

*
**

Raj
iventer
edt hehotellobby,spott
ingMaya
i
mmediatel
y.Shewast al
kingtothehot elmanager
att
hefr
ontdesk,herf
lame- col
oredhairinst
antl
y
catchinghi
sgaze, set
ti
ngherapar tfr
om ever
yone
elseinthevi
cinit
y.Hiseyesat eherup.Shewas
wearingthesamesexy, blackdressshe’dwornat
thatunfor
tunatedinner
-partyatCrant
horpe.

Thatli
tt
leblacknumbert hathaddr ivenhimt ot he
bri
nkoflosingcont rol
.Thiseveni ngthough, she
woreitwit
hapl um-coloredjacket,blackti
ght s,and
knee-
lengt
h, blackboots.Possessi vedesirehi thi
m
l
ikeablowt ot hestomach, parti
cularlywhenhesaw
theyounghot elmanagersmi l
ingather ,t
ryingt o
workhisunct uouschar m onher —unt i
lhenot iced
Raji
vglari
ngathi m.

“
Mr.Maddox.
”Hiswar
ysmi
lewasnotr
etur
ned.
“
Ther
eyouare.”

Raj
iv’
seyessli
doverhi
mtorestonMaya,
maski
ng
t
hejealousyt
hathadfr
ost
edhisgaze.
Herstriki
ng,greeneyes,shadowedbysoot y
darkenedlashes,appearedt obehel dcaptivebyt he
i
ntensityofhisstar
e.Hemovedi n,hiseyesst i
ll
eati
ngherup, andhedi dn’tbothertryi
ngt ohideit.
“Hi
.”Hef oldedherwarm, slenderhandi nhi s,
caressingherknuckleswithhist humb.“ SorryI’
m
l
ate.Ijustwentoutforawal k.
”

“
That’
sokay.
”Shesmi
led,
ner
vous.“
Ionl
ygother
e
aminut
eago.”

Henoddedatthehot
elmanagerandsteer
edher
towardoneoft
hemarbl
epil
lar
sclosertot
he
elevat
ors.

“Idi
dn’
tfeell
ikeeatingintherestaurant.”Histone
wasdeli
berat
elycasual“ SoIorder eddinnerinmy
suit
e.I
sthatokaywi thyou?”Shehesi t
ated,ashe
knewshewoul d.“Look.
”Heshr ugged.“ Ifyouwant
toeati
ntherestaurant,t
hat’
sfine.I ’
l
ljustlett
he
managerknowandwecangot ot hebarf oradrink
f
ir
st.
”

“
No.”Herbodytrembl
ed.“
You’
rer
ight
.Weneedt
o
t
alki
nprivat
e.”

Hewasst i
llhol
dingherhandandt hef
eelofher
del
icateskinagainsthisthumbwascausi ngli
quid
heattopooli nhi
sgr oi
n.“Good.”Hesmi l
ed,st
eer
ing
hertowardst heelevat
ors.“Youlookbeauti
ful
,
”he
sai
d, oncethedoor shadclosed.

Thedr esslookedqui tedif

ferentwithti
ghtsand
heeledboot s,butjustasprovocat i
ve.Wit
hherlong,
copperyhai rspreadoutagai nstthedark,vel
vet
j
acket, shelookedl i
keshe’djuststeppedoutofthe
swingingsixties,anditwassexyashel l
.Heonly
hopedhecoul dcont r
olthelustthatwascour si
ng
thr
oughhi m oncet heywer ealonei nhi
ssui t
e.

“
Thankyou.
”Hervoi
cewascool
,det
ached,
andhe
justknewshewasgoi ngtosaynotohisproposal
.
“Howar eJayandKur tdoi
ng?”sheasked.“
Have
youseent hem l
atel
y?”

“Yes.”Hesmi l
ed,recal
li
nghisbesot
tedbr
otherwith
ami xtureofcyni
cism andenvy.“
They’
rebothreall
y
well.I
nPar i
sfortheweekend.They’
vemovedint o
theKni ght
sbri
dgehousewhi l
emymot her’
sinIndia.
SoI’vegotmyapar t
mentback.”

“Howdoyout hinkshe’ sgoingtoreactwhenJay

tel
lsherthenews? ”Herlookofconcer nmirror
ed
hisownunease.Howwashi sCathol
ic,I
ndian
mot hergoi
ngtor eacttothefactthatheryounger
sonwasgayandver ymuchi nlovewi t
hamanhe
constantl
yref
erredt oashissoulmat e?

Heshookhishead, distr
actedbythet ur
nof
conver
sati
on.“Hell,
Maya, ”hemuttered,rubbi
ngthe
backofhisneck.“Ican’tseeheracceptingit.
They’
rebothli
vingint hi
sbubbleatthemoment ,
but
I’
vegotaf eel
ingthebubble’
sgoi ngt
oburstonce
shegetsbackt oLondon.I’
lldomybestt oconvi
nce
herthatit
’sagoodt hi
ng,andthatJay’shappi
er
thanhe’severbeen,butIdon’tknow.
”

Sheli
stenedtohim,bit
ingi
ntoherful
l,
bottom li
p,
andRaj i
v’
smi ndswit
ched,hi
sli
bidoki
ckingin,and
theanxiet
iesaboutJayandhismotherfadedinto
theether.

Theyenteredt
hehot elsui
teandhemadehi swayto
thel
iquorcabi
net.“
WhatcanIgetyou? ”heasked,
pouri
nghimselfasinglewhisky.Heneededhi
swits
abouthim.

“Oh,canIhaveawhi
skywi
thl
otsofi
ceandwat
er,
please?
”

Itl
ookedli
kehewasnott
heonl
yonewant
ingt
o
keephisheadt
oni
ght.
Shewasst ar
ingoutofthel
ongwi ndowswhenhe
handedherthecrystalt
umbler.“
Theviewoft
he
cast
leisbeauti
fulf
rom uphere.”

“Yes,
that ’
swhatIl i
keaboutt hishotel.
”Touching
hisgl
asst oher sandt akingasi p,hewat chedher
overther i
m.“ Ir
ememberyouwear i
ngt hatdressat
Crant
hor pe,”hemur mur ed,hiseyesski mmi ngover
thestret
chykni t,
thewayi thuggedherbodyi nall
theri
ghtpl aces.“Iwascr azyt hatni
ght,beli
eving
youwer ewi thSanjay.Crazywi t
hjealousy.”

“I
tal
lseemslikesuchalongtimeago.”Shest
ared
downattheamberliqui
d.“HowisKir
ti
, byt
heway?
Doyoustil
lkeepincont
act?”

“Ki
rti
’
sfine.
”Hesighed,notwanti
ngtotalkabout
her.“
I’
veonlyseenheroncesincewebr okeup.She
seemstobequi t
ehappy.Idon’tt
hinkshewas
par
ti
cul
arl
yhear
t-
brokenbyourspl
it
ti
ngup.
”

“
I’
m gl
ad,
”shesai
d.“
Shedeser
vest
obehappy.
”

Hemanagedt
oholdhergaze.“
Andme,
doI
deser
vet
obehappy?
”

Hercateyeswi denedathisquesti
on,t
henshe
nodded.“ Yes,
Raji
v,youdodeservetobehappy.I
tr
iedtell
ingyouthatinLondonwhenyouwer eso
angry,butyoudidn’
twanttoli
sten.”

“Chri
st!”Hedr ai
nedt hewhisky,al
lhi
sgood
i
ntentionsevapor ati
ng.“Don’
tremindme.Howare
thebruises?”Hecl aspedherfreehand,
tur
ningi
t
palm up, car
essingthepale,creamyski
nwithhi
s
thumb.“ ThankGod, they’
regone.”

“
Allgone.
”Shesmi
led,
areal
smi
le,
andhi
ssenses
sur
ged.

“
Youcansl
eepeasynow.
”

Hehel
dont
oherhand.“
Ifonl
y…”

Sheturnedbacktothewi ndow,
takingherhand
withher,andhewenttopourhimsel fanotherdri
nk,
eventhoughhe’dpr
omi sedhimselfhe’dtakeiteasy
toni
ght.

“SohowwasGoa?”Wit
hherbackwastohim,itwas
i
mpossiblet
oknowwhatshewasthi
nki
ng.“How’s
yourmother
?”

“Mymotherisnothappy,ofcour
se. ”Hestal
led,
knowi
ngt heyhadt
ogett hi
ssubjectoutoftheway,
butwi
shingtheydi
dn’thavetogot here.
“Andtheyoungwomanyouwentt
omeet
,wasshe
ever
ythi
ngyouexpect
ed?
”

Wasshej eal
ous?Hi sheartl
eaptatt
heidea.
“Fat
imawasl ovely,
yes.”Hepaused,t
ryi
ngtogauge
herreact
ion,butshekepthergazefi
xedoutsi
dethe
window.“Everyt
hingmy

mot
herwoul
dhavewant
edi
nadaught
er-
in-
law.
”

“
SodoIheart
hesoundofweddi
ngbel
ls?
”

Helaughedahar
sh,
bri
tt
lesound.“
Notqui
te.Ihada
l
uckyescape.
”

Fi
nal
ly,
shet
urnedt
ofacehi
m.“
Whatdoyou
mean?”
“
Herf
atherwasaver
ywi
seman.
”

“
Herf
ather
?”

“Yes.”Henodded, r
ecall
ingtheconversat i
onwith
thegirl
’sfatherthatsult
ryeveningwhilewal ki
ng
outsi
de, aroundthef amil
y’
slusciousgar den,i
none
oftheoldersubur bsofPanjimi nGoa.“HeandIhad
aman- to-mant alkattheendoft heday.Het ol
dme
thathecoul dnotacceptmeasasui t
ablehusband
forhisonlydaught er.Hewant edtoseehermar r
ied
toamanwhocoul dloveher,adoreher,asshe
deservedt obe.

Andhecoul
dseeIwasnott
hatman.
”

“
I’
m sor
ry,
Raj
iv.
”

“
You’
resor
ry!
”Hesett
het
umbl
erdownwi
th
contai
nedviol
enceandwenttostandinfr
ontofher
,
whereshecouldn’
tavoi
dhisgaze.“Why?Areyou
thateagert
ogetri
dofme?”

Hishandsmovedoft heirownaccord,stroki
ngthe
widel apelsofthevelvetjacket
,sl
idi
nginsideto
caresst hesmoot hskinofhershoulders,befor
e
sli
ppingt hejacketdownoverherar mst odropto
thefloorwher eshest ood.

Heshookhi shead, bemused.“ Ican’ tbel

ieveyou’ re
wear i
ngt hisdress.”Runninghi shandsf rom her
creamy, exposedshoul der
s, carefullytoclaspher
wrists,Rajivall
owedhi sgazet or oam overherl ong,
subtlecur ves,outl
inedbyt hest retchyblackdr ess.
“Haveyouanyi deawhatIwentt hrought hatni ght,
want i
ngt ost r
ipthi
sdr essof fofyou, i
nchbyi nch?”
Hewai t
edf orhertoeaseaway, andt r
iumphsour ed
throughhi m whenshedi dn’t
.Hepul l
edhercl oser ,
drawi ngherar msar oundhi sback, bri
ngingt heir
bodiesupagai nsteachot her.St i
ll,
shedi dn’tmove
away.Shewasstar
ingupathi
m,hereyeswi
de,
li
ps
par
tedandinvi
ti
ng.

Loweri
nghishead,Raji
vr eleasedherwr i
sts,
his
spi
nearchi
ngasherf i
nger sspr eadbeneathhis
j
acket,
explor
inghisback, sendingshiver
sofdelight
thr
oughhisbody,downt ohi sgroin.

“
Isthatwhyyouworeit
?”hebreat
hedagai
nsther
mouth.“
Becauseyouknewitwoulddr
ivememad? ”

“
No,
”shewhisper
ed,
hereyesgl
azedandconfused.
“
Idi
dn’
tknowwhatelset
oweartoafi
vestarhotel
.”

Hismout hf astenedonhers,hishandsr unning

from herlowerbackt ocupherbut t
ocksandpr ess
hermoundagai nstt
heswel l
ingridgeofhiserecti
on.
Hisbodywashotandpul sing,ashi smouth
plunderedher s.Hetri
edtocont rolhisr
aginglibi
do,
thememor yoft hosebrui
sesst i
llfr
eshinhismi nd.
Resisti
ngt heurgetodr agt hedr essof fherand
throwheront othechest er
fi
eldbehi ndt hem,he
all
owedhi smout hfreer eign,twisti
ngandmat i
ng
histonguewi thhers,handst r
embl ingwi t
htheneed
tosli
debeneat hthedr essandcar essherunt ilshe
beggedhi mt otakeher .Buthehel dback, r
emi ndi
ng
himselfthatshewast oovul nerable,tooinnocent
forhimtof orgethi
msel fandunl eashhi scarnal
needs.

Yetshewasdr ivi
nghi m cr
azy, dr
aggi
nghisshir
t
outtoexplor
et hetautmusclesofhisback,r
aking
herfi
ngernai
lsalonghishot ,dampskin.Raj
iv
groanedagainsthermout h,knowingheneededto
sl
owt hi
ngsdown.

Aknockont
hedoorbr
oughthi
mtohi
ssenses.

“ThatmustbethemealIorder
ed.”Hedragged
someairint
ohislungsand,ci
rcl
ingherwri
sts,
took
anunsteadyst
epawayf r
om herwarm, i
nvi
ti
ng
body.
Chapt
er38

Mayawasmor t
ifi
ed.DearGod, t
heyhadn’
tbeenin
hi
shotelroom mor ethanahalfhourandshe’d
beenreadytobeghi mt omakelovetoher!Ashe
wenttoanswerthedoor ,shetur
nedtowardthe
windowsagain,pressingherhandsagai
nsther
fl
ushedcheeks.

Shehear dthewait
ersentert
hesuiteand,t
akinga
deepbr eat
h,tur
nedtofacethem,prayi
ngthatthe
l
owl ighti
ngwouldhideherheight
enedstat
eof
arousal.

Thef ir
stwai t
ersteer
edt hefood-laden,heated
trol
leyclosetot hedi
ning-room table,r
eadyt obeof
service.Mayahadobser vedthet ableonent er
ing
thesui t
e.Itgleamedwithsi l
verandcr yst
al.Cur l
ed
l
inennapki nswer esetinsquar ebone-whiteplates,
adel
icate,sil
vercandel
abr
aint
hecenter
.A
r
omant i
cdi nnerf
ortwo.He’
dobvi
ousl
ygonet
oa
l
otoftrouble.

“
That
’sfi
ne,thankyou,
”Raji
vwassaying.“We’
l
lsee
t
ooursel
ves.I’
m suret
hefoodi
sperfect.
”

“Thewi nes,monsieur,
”theotherwait
er,whom she
guessedt obet hesommel i
ersaid.Hewascar r
ying
ani cebucketwi t
habot t
leofwhitewineinsi
de,as
wellasabot tl
eofr ed,
cuppedl i
keanobjectof
value,i
nhi sfr
eehand.

“Thankyou,Pedro.”Raj i
v’svoicewashuskyand
shefeltasenseofr el
ief,knowi ngshewasnotthe
onlyoneaffectedbyt heircrazedbehavi
or.“I
’
m sure
thewinesareexcellent.Ifyoucouldjustopenthem,
we’l
lmanage. ”

Bot
hwai
ter
slookeddi
sappoi
nted,
oncet
hewi
nes
wereopenedandRaj
ivhel
dthedoorajarforthem
tol
eave.Buti
twasanenormousrel
iefforMayat o
seethebackoft
hem,undert
heci
rcumst ances.

Heclosedthedoor
,runni
ngi
mpati
entfi
nger
s
t
hroughhisthi
ckhair
.“Ar
eyouhungr
y?”

Sheshookherhead,
foodbei
ngt
hel
astt
hingonher
mind.“
No,”

“Thi
rst
y?”Hi
seyesmether
s.“
Youenj
oywhi
tewi
ne,
don’
tyou?”

“
Notr
ightnow.
”

He’dbuttonedthejacketofhissui
tandMayafelt
brave,knowingthathewashar dandarousedbyher
.
She’dfelti
tagainstherbodywhenhe’dcuppedher
bottom,pull
inghertightagai
nsthi
m.Shewentto
him, uncar ingthatthiswasnothowt hi
ngswer e
meantt ogo, uncar i
ngt hatshe’dpromi sedherself
she’dhavehersayandl eave.Standingrightinfront
ofhi m, almostt ouching, sheunbuttonedhi sj
acket
andsl owl yeasedi toffhi sshoulders.Hewasnot
wear ingat i
eandt het wot opbut t
onsofhi swhite
shirtwer eundone.Li ftingherhands, shebegant o
unbut tont herestofhi sshi rt
,exposingdark,sil
ky
skindef inedbyhar dmuscl e.

“Maya,weneedtotal
k.”Hesuckedairthr
oughhis
teet
hwhenthepalmsofherhandsmadecont act
withhi
shot,
barechest.“
Please,
Idon’twantt
olose
contr
olwi
thyou.
”

“Why?”shebreathed,pressi
ngherli
pstohi
s
ster
num, hear
inghishissofpleasur
e.“
Whynotl
ose
contr
ol?
”

“
Becauset
helastt
imeIendeduphur
ti
ngyou,
that
’s
why,
”hebi
tout.
Mayadr ewhishandst oherthighsandcont i
nued
unbutt
oninghisshi r
tuntili
tgapedopen, exposi
ng
hishardenednipplesandt autstomach.“Itol
dyou,”
shesaidandr anherhandsoverhi ssmooth,
muscledtorso,brushingherlipsagainsthi
s.“Il
ikei
t
whenyoul osecont r
ol.”

“No,Maya. ”Herestedhishandsgent lyonherhips,

buthismout hbetrayedhi m, sear
chingand
capturinghersinahar d,possessivekiss,t
akingall
shehadt ogi
ve.Final
ly,hedr aggedhismout hfrom
hers.“Ipromisedmysel fI’
llneverloseit
,neverhurt
youlikethatagain.
”

Mayapushedhi m awaysoabr uptl

yt hathe
stumbledback, st
aringdownather ,confused.She
turnedandwal kedbackt othelongwi ndows.“Well
,
I’
m notinter
ested,”shesaid,threadi
ngherf inger
s
throughhertangledhair,shockedatherown
boldness.“I
fyou’replanningongi vi
ngmesome
wat
ereddownver
sionofl
ove-
maki
ng,
thenImi
ght
aswelll
eave.
”

Suddenl
yhewasr ightbehindher,gri
ppi
ngher
nakedshoul
dersandpul l
ingherbackagainsthi
m.
“Youhavenoideawhatyou’ r
esaying,Maya.”He
ranhi
shandsalonghersmoot hbarearms.“But
thi
sisadangerousgameyou’ replayi
ng.”

Hispalmsslidr oundt ocupherbr alessbr easts,

squeezinghert i
ghtni ppl
es.Mayamoaned, l
eani ng
backweaklyagai nsthim,feel
ingtheheatofhi s
bodyallthewaydownherback.Hi shandssl iding
alongthesil
kybl ackdr ess,unti
lhisf ingersf ound
thetopofhert highswher ethedr essendedandher
l
egsbegan.“ Isthi swhatyouwant ?”Hi sbr eathwas
heavyandwar m againstherear .“Ormaybet his? ”
Hesl i
donehandbeneat hthedress, betweenher
thighs,
cuppingherhotmoundi nhi spal m.

Herbodysaggedi
ntohi
s.Hi
shandt
ight
ened
betweenherlegs,
holdi
ngherupagainsthi
m,her
bottom pr
essedhardagai
nstt
hebulgeofhis
erecti
on.

“
Ist
hiswhatyouwant
,Maya?
”her
epeat
ed.

“Uhh.”Shecoul dn’tspeak.Hi
smi ddlefingerwas
rubbi
ngagai nsttheseam ofhersex.Andwhenhe
fi
stedhisotherhandi nherhai
r,pull
ingherhead
backhard,exposi ngherneck,andbi ti
ngherearl
obe,
Mayaf el
therbodybegi ntoconvulse,heatpulsi
ng
betweenherl egs.

Hisfingercontinuedtowor kinsist
ently.Godhewas
sogoodatt his.Thepl easur ablepainofherhai r
pull
edt i
ght,t
hebi teofhist eethsearingherear l
obe,
sentherovert heedge, plungingheri ntoashocking,
exquisit
eorgasm.Herhi psj erkedandt hrust
againsthistorment i
nghand, unti
ltherewasnot hing
buthim, hi
sbody, hishands, hismout hnow
suckingthepai naway, l
eavi nghert r
embl ing,
weak,
anddr
enchedi
npl
easur
e.

“Youcametosaygoodbye, di
dn’tyou?”He
conti
nuedt
ohol dherli
mpbodyhar dagainsthim,
hishandmoistenedbyherpulsi
ngclit
ori
s.“Admiti
t,
goonsayit.Sayitandputmeoutofmymi sery.
Youwantthis,
butyoudon’twantme! ”

“Raj,don’t
—”Shewasgaspingforbreat
h.Herhead
thrownbackagainsthi
sshoulder
,herfi
nger
nails
diggingintohi
sarm,andherl
egstrembli
ng,unable
tohol dherup.

Hereleasedhishandfrom betweenherthi
ghsand
hookedhisarm beneathherknees.Li
fti
ngherof f
thepoli
shed,marblefl
oor,hecarri
edherboneless
bodythroughtheglass-
frameddoubledoorsinto
thel
uxuriousbedroom,loweri
ngherontothehuge
bed,str
aight
eninghimselftostar
edownather .
Mayawast oodr uggedwi t
hpl easuret ocar ethat
shewasspr awl edacr osst hebed, herf amousbl ack
dressnowbunchedupar oundherhi ps.Raj ivglared
downatherwi t
hgl i
tt
eri
ngeyesanddr aggedof fhi s
shir
t.Shest ar edbackathi mt hroughheavyl ids,
uncaringhowwant onshemi ghtlook.Thi swas
thei
rlasttimet ogetherandshewant edhi m mor e
thanshecoul deverhavei magi ned.Ifhet hought
shewasj ustaf termeaningl esssex, t
hatal lshe
wantedwast his, t
henhewaswr ong, butper hapsi t
wasbet terforhi mt obelievet hat.Easierforbot hof
them reall
y, i
fhedi dbeli
evet hat.

Thebedr oom hadastat el

ylookabouti t
,dark
woodenpanel li
ng,l
ongwi ndowswi thvi
ewsof
EdinburghCastleandtheci t
ylightsbeneaththem.
Everyt
hingwassubl i
mel ytastefulandluxuri
ous,
i
ncludingthecoolsatinbed-spreadshewasl ying
on,coloredi
nshadesofgol dandbr onze,ref
lecti
ng
theli
ghtsoutside,
shiningthrought hewindows.
“
Closethecur
tai
ns,
please,
Raj
iv?
”sheasked,
wanti
ngtococoont
hem inaworl
dofthei
rown.

“
Why?
”

“
BecauseIwantyout
o,t
hat
’swhy.
”

Hest ar
edatherf oral ongmoment ,hislean,
bronzedbodygl eami nginthedi
ml ight.Shecoul d
l
ookatt hatbodyf orever,
buthewentt ocl osethe
curt
ains,l
eavingther oom insemidarkness, except
fortheli
ghtrefl
ectingfrom ther
oom behi ndt hem.

“I
t’
st oodark.
”Heswi tchedonasi de-lamp,casting
asof tgol
denglowovert hem.“AndIwantt osee
you,especial
lywhil
eIt akeof ft
hatdress.
”Hest ood
atthebottom ofthebed, gazingatherthrough
narrowed,seari
ngeyes, naked,exceptfortheblack
designertr
ousershangi nglowonhi ships.He
hadn’tputonanywei ghtsi nceshelastsawhim.
Hi
ship-
bonessti
llprot
ruded,
butdi
dnotdet
ractone
bi
tfr
om hi
sharsh,sensualmascul
ini
ty.

Sheknewshel ookedwanton,shameless,l
ayi
ng
therewit
hherarmsandlegsspr ead,t
hedress
pushedhighabovehercrotch,cover
edonlyby
blackpanti
esandsemi-
tr
anspar entt
ight
s.

“
Don’
twor
ry,
baby,
I’
llgi
veyouwhatyouwant
.”

Hespokei nthatinsol entt one,whichshedet ested,

butshewast oohel plesst ocare.Kneelingbetween
hersprawl edlegs, Raj i
vr anhishandsuphert highs,
smoot hingthesof tt i
ght sagainstherwar m skin,
fi
ngerssweepi ngal ongheri nnerlegs.Herbody
wasst il
lquiveri
ngf r om theear li
erorgasm,and
Maya’sbot tom li
ftedof fthemat tr
essashi sfingers
brushedagai nsttheapexofhert highs.

“
Easy,
”hemur
mur
ed,
buthi
sunevenbr
eat
hing
bet
rayedhi
sownneeds.

Sli
dinghi sf inger sbeneat ht hedr ess, hehooked
them intot hewai stbandofhert ights,pull
edthem
downt ogetherwi thherpant ies,andoverherhi ps
andl egs,unt iltheyr eachedt het opofherboot sand
couldgonof arther.Heeasedhert highsapart,
kneesbent ,onceagai nleavi ngonl yhercrotch
exposedandMayawast oomi ndlesswi t
hneedt o
protest.Her anhi shandshi ghupherl egs,grazing
histhumbsagai nstherbar ecr evice.Herbody
jer
kedathi st easi ngtouchandhesmi ledasatisfied,
mascul inesmi le.Lower inghi shead, hepressedhi s
openmout ht oherwel comi ngf l
esh.Mayaspasmed.
Af eralcryt oref rom hert hroatasherwhol ebody
surged, grabbi nghi shairt opr esshi m downagai nst
her.

“Ohnoyoudon’t
.”Hecir
cledherwri
stsgentl
y,
removi
ngthem f
rom hi
sheadandhol di
ngthem
downathersi
des.“Thi
stimeIcallt
heshots.Af
ter
all
,i
t’
sagoodbyefuck,
isn’
tit
?”Hisdarkenedbl
ue
eyeswer
efier
y,f
il
ledwithangerandlust.

Mayahat
edhiscr
udewords,
butdeepdownknewi
t
wasthet
rut
h.Thi
swasgoodbye.
Chapt
er39

Raji
vl oweredhi sheadagain,usinghislipsandhis
tonguet oteaseheri nt
omindlesssubmi ssi
on.Her
handswer epinnedathersides.Allshecoul ddo
wast hrustherhi psuptomeethi steasing
ministrat
ions,buthel i
ft
edhisheadeasi lyevery
ti
meshet ri
edt ot hr
usther
selfagainsthim.

Hekeptonandonunt
ilshewasbeggi
nghi
m.“
Raj
,
pl
ease

stopt
ormenti
ngme,
”shemoaned,ci
rcl
ingherhi
ps.
“Whyareyoudoi
ngt
histome?It
’snotf
air.
”
“
Fair!
”Helif
tedhishead.“
Yout
alkt
omeaboutf
air
.
I
sitfai
rthatyou’
regoingt
owal
kawayf
rom me
t
onight?
”

Asobescapedherathi saccusingwor ds.

Coll
apsingbackagainstthesoftspread,she
all
owedhimt oconti
nuehi stor
ment ,becauseshe
deservedit
.Shewasgoi ngtowal kaway, sol
ethim
tor
mentherasmuchashel i
ked.Asl ongast hey
hadthisonelastni
ghttogether,l
ethim dowhathe
wantedwithher.

Andhedi d.Shemoaned, shebegged, butshedi dn’

t
demand, al
lowinghimtodr i
vehermadwi thhis
sensualexperti
se.Fi
nall
yhedr aggedhimsel faway
fr
om her.Unzippingtheblacktrouser
s,hisdar k
eyesroamingoverhersemi -nakedbody, herose,
str
ippi
ngof fcompletel
y.Afterki
ckinghisshoesand
tr
ousersaway, hestoodtherenaked,hissexj utt
ing
str
aightoutofhisbody,proudanddemandi ng.
Hestrokedhimselfwithonehand.“Thisisallyou
want,
isn’ti
t?”Hisbreathi
ngwaslabored.“You’ve
di
scoveredyoursexualityandnowyou’rereadyto
gooutandexpl orei
t.”

“No!
”Sher ai
sedher
selfont
oherel
bows.“
Raji
v,ar
e
youcrazy?Icoul
dneverdothi
swit
hanyoneel
se
butyou.”

Hewasn’ tevenlist
ening.Hejustloweredhimself
ontoher,sett
li
nghi mselfi
ntothecr adl
eofher
thi
ghsandpushi ngthedresshighaboveher
breast
s,caressingthem withhard,urgenthands,
whilepl
under i
nghermout hwi t
hhi s.Theti
mef or
tal
kingwasover .

Mayacouldfeelhi
sshaf
t,hotandheavybet
ween
hert
highs.Shewasdesperat
ef orhi
mtobury
hi
mselfinsi
deherandsati
sfythatcr
avi
ngneed—f
or
himtopoundint
oheranddr
iveherovert
heedge,
thewayonlyheknewhow.

Archingherback,sheenticedhim wi t
hherwr ithi
ng
bodyunt i
l,wit
haneroti
cgr oanofr esi
gnation,he
graspedhisswollenshaftinhisfistanddr oveit
i
ntoher .Acryofshockedpl easureescapedher ,
her
bodyexplodingaroundher .Therewasnot hing
gentleaboutthei
rcomingt ogether.Hedidn’twaitor
al
lowheri nnermusclestost r
etchand
accommodat ehi
shuge, r
igidlength.Hejustfound
hisrhythm andhammer edi nt
oher ,r
elent
lessly.

Maya, sosensi t
izedfrom herpr eviousorgasm,
spli
nteredint oanot hercl
imaxal mosti mmedi at
ely,
sendingherhi gherandhigherwi theacht hrust,
until
shef el
tshecoul dnotber eleasedf rom thisholdhe
hadoverher .Hemovedwi t
hdesper atespeedand
str
ength.Herl egswer etr
appedbyhi s,t
het i
ghts
pull
edt autbet weenherboot s.Shewant edt owr ap
herlegsar oundhi m buti
twasi mpossi ble.Allshe
coulddowasr aiseherhipst omeeteacht hr
ust,
digginghernai lsintohisjerki
ngbut t
ocks.He
seemedt oenjoyt hefactthatshewasso
const r
icted.Hislegswer eaheavywei ghtagainst
thetights.Grippinghershoul ders,
hehel dherdown
witheacht hr
ust, f
orci
nghi mselfdeeperi nsi
deof
her.Mayasobbed, convulsi
ngwavesofexqui site
pleasuresur gingthroughherunt il
,fi
nally,hi
sback
arched, t
autasabow.Heexpl odedwitha
shudder i
nggr oan.Hotsemenf l
oodedi ntoherand
hecol l
apsedheavi l
yont opofher ,hi
sf l
eshst i
ll
burieddeepi nsideofher .

Helayslumpedont opofher ,
gaspingforbr eat
h,
whil
eshequi veredandt rembledbeneathhim.I tfel
t
str
ange.Hewascompl etel
ynakedandshewas
almostcompl et
elydressed.Shewasunabl eto
moveherl owerbodyashi spowerfull
egswei ghed
herdown.Event ual
lyhel i
ft
edhishead, capturi
ng
hermout hinalong,languorouskiss,andMayaf elt
herinnermusclestightenandshudder ,another
echoingcli
maxover takingher.
“
Areyouokay?
”hebr
eat
hedagai
nsthermout
h.

“
Ithi
nkso.
”Hervoi
cewasbl
urr
ed,
unr
ecogni
sabl
e.

Hisheaddroopedindef
eat
.“I
’
m sor
ry.God,
Iwas
sorough,
again.”

“
Don’t
.”Shepressedaf
ingeragai
nsthi
sli
ps.“
It
wasperfect
.”

Heopenedhi smout htodisabuseherandt hen

closedit.Cuppingherf aceinstead,hel oweredhis
headandbeganki ssingheroncemor e.Withdeep,
druggingkissest hatleftherquiver
ingandcl ingi
ng
tohim, hebegant omakel ovetoheral loveragain.
Mayacl osedhereyes, sensingeveryt
hi ngthrougha
hazeofl anguidlust.
“Ithi
nkit’
sti
met ogetyououtoft
hesecl
othes,
”he
mur muredhuskil
y,sl
idi
nghi
shanddowntot he
zipperofherboot.

Shedi dn’thavethestrengthtoholdherlegup,not
thatRaj ivneededanyassi stance.Heli
ftedher
bonel essl egandslowl yunzi
ppedtheboot ,
throwi ngi tt
othefloor.Thenslowlyhebegan
massagi ngherfoot ,
sendingshiversofsensual
delightthr oughherbody.

Shegroaned,shockedathowsensi
ti
vet
ohi
stouch
herf
eetcouldbe.

“
Youliket
his?
”heasked,
str
ongf
inger
sdoi
ngsi
nful
t
hingstohert
oes.

“Uhh!”Herbodyjer
kedashepr
essedhi
sthumb
alongthearchofherf
oot.
Hel aughedasexy,
knowi nglaughandunzippedt
he
otherbootbefor
esli
dinghert i
ght
sandpant i
esof
f
andgi vi
ngthesameat t
enti
ont oherr
ightf
oot.

BynowMayawasnaked, exceptf orthedr ess

bunchedaboveherbr easts.Raj i
vwor kedhi sway
upherbody, pressinghi slipst oheri nnert highs,
skimmi ngoverhersoddensex, breathingi nt he
smel loftheircombi nedj uices,butnott ouchi ngher
there,evenwhenshespr eadher selfi
nvi t
ingl y.He
wast akingitslowandshef orcedherbodyt or elax,
deli
ght i
ngineachcar ess,eachbr ushofhi sl ips.He
reachedherbr easts,suckingandbi ti
ngunt ilshe
begant osqui rm withi mpat i
ence.Sl owl y,asi f
unwr appingagi ft,hepeel edthedr essoverher
head.Nowshewascompl etelynakedagai nsthi m,
herbodyhotandl iquidlikemol tenl ava.Herhands
beganst roking,probinghi sback, histightbut tocks
andf inal
ly,herfistclosedar oundhi shar d, heavy
erecti
on.
Rajivgroaned,buthedidn’tstopher.I
nstead,he
str
etchedhisbody, coveri
ngher sandcapturedher
mout hagain,wit
hhar d,consumingkisses,holdi
ng
herheadst i
llwit
hhishandswhi l
edelvi
ngwi thdeep,
carnalneedintohermout h.

“SweetJesus,
”hechocked,j
erki
nghishi
psagai
nst
herti
ghtfi
st.“
Ican’
tgetenoughofyou.
”

Mayawr appedherlegsar oundhi m andgui dedthe

bulbousheadofhi smanhoodt oherweepi ngcor e,
moani ngsof t
lyashisfleshfinall
ymether s.He
madel ovet oherwithslowdel iberat
est rokes,
savoringeacht hr
ust,ashebur i
edhimsel finside
hert i
me, andtimeagain.Maya’ sbodyar chedand
undul atedbeneathhi m, herhandscar essi nghi s
moi stenedf ace,l
if
ti
ngherheadt obit
eathi sl ower
l
ip,feel i
ngvoluptuouspl easureashet ookher
sl
owl y, cl
oserandcl osertowardt heedge, into
mindl essbl i
ss.
*
**

Godthiswasn’thowIplannedfort
hingst
ogo
t
onight.
”Raj
ivwasl eani
ngoverher,dr
awi
ngdamp
t
endril
sofhairfr
om herface.

Mayastaredathi
mthr
oughdr
owsyeyes.“
Me
nei
ther
.”

Hecaressedhercheekbones,rever
entl
y.“
Whatisi
t
aboutus,Maya?Whyar ethingsalwaysso
expl
osive?I
’veneverexper
iencedthi
sbefore.
”

“
Youhaven’
t?”

“
No,
notl
iket
his.
”

“
WhataboutCl
ara?
”Shef
rowned,
notsur
eshe
wantedtoknow,butf
orci
nghersel
ftocontinue.
“Sur
elyshesat
isfi
edyouinwaysthatInevercould?
Sheseemedsoconf i
dent
,soexperi
enced.”

Hebl
inked,
shaki
nghi
shead.“
Maya,
whatIhad
wi
th

Cl
arawast
otal
lydi
ff
erentf
rom us.
”

“
Inwhatway?
”

“God,i
neveryway.”Heshookhishead,
damp, dar
k
hairf
all
ingoverhi
sface.Shest
aredupathim,
needi
ngt oknowmor e.Hesi
ghed.“
WhatClaraandI
hadwasmor eofan

ar
rangementt
hananyt
hingel
se.
”
“
Anar
rangement
?”Thatsoundedsocol
d-bl
ooded.

Heclosedhiseyes,l
eani
nghisforeheadagainst
her
s.“Wesatisf
iedeachother
’sneeds,not
hing
morethanthatreal
l
y.”

Thet houghtofhi
m withCl
arawasl ikeaphysical
pain,butsheneededtounderstand.“Sur
elyyouhad
feeli
ngsforher,f
oreachot
her ?
”

Ther
ewasal
ongsi
l
ence,
butshewai
tedi
tout
.

“No.”Heburi
edhisfacei
nthecurveofherneck.
“Therewer
en’tr
eall
yanyfeel
ingsi
nvol
ved,just
sex.”

Mayar anherfi
ngersthroughhisdamp,si
lkyhair,
for
cinghersel
ftopersist
.“Whataboutt
heot her
s?
Jaytol
dmeyouhadl oversinIndi
aaswell.”
“God,Maya.”Hethrewhimselfoffher
,lyi
ngonhi
s
back,coveri
nghiseyeswit
hhi sarm.“I
twas
dif
fer
ent,okay?Justdi
ff
erenttohowitiswit
hyou.
”

Sheknewwhent oleti
tgo.Stari
ngupatt heor nat
e
cei
li
ng,shereal
izedshemi ghtneverunderstand
thi
scomplexmanandi twaspointl
esstryingto
anyway.

Afterward,t
heyshower edt oget
herinthehuge,
state-
ofthe-
art
,mar blebat hroom.Takingthei
rti
me,
soapingandcar essingeachot herwit
hhot ,
erot
ic
need, asift
heyknewi twasendi ngandwant edto
draineveryounceofpl easurefrom t
heirt
ime
together.

*
**

“
Thosepoorwai
ter
s.”Raj
ivl
i
ckedt
hesuccul
ent
j
uiceoft
heperf
ect
lybakedpheasantoffhi
sfi
nger
s
andsmil
ed.“
They’
dbedevastat
ediftheysawus
now.”

“Why?”Mayapoppedaperf
ectl
yroastedbaby
potat
oint
ohermouth.“
Becausewe’reeati
ngont
he
fl
oor?”

They’dspreadtheprist
ine,whitetabl
e-clot
honto
theAubussonr ug,deposit
edt hediff
erentarr
ayof
dishesontoit
, t
hensatcrossed-leggedonsi l
ken
cushions,eat
ingtheexceptionall
ycookedmealasi f
i
twer eaThalitobeenjoyedal latonce,rat
herthan
i
nf ivedi
ff
erentcourses.

Raj
ivgri
nned.“
Thattoo.Theywenttosomuch
t
roubl
etoserveuptheperfectdi
nnerf
ort
wo.”

“
Oh,
Raj
iv,
why?
”
Shewaswear ingadarkgr
eensatinbathr
obe,
provi
dedbythehotel,
andhiseyesdrawn
i
rresi
sti
blyt
ohershadowedcleavage.“
BecauseI
askedthem t
o,”heanswer
ed.

“
Real
ly?Thankyou,
Raj
.”

Hel aughed,shaki
nghisheaddisparagingly.“I
thoughtIcouldimpressyou,maybeseduceyou,
withtheperfect,
romanti
cdinner.
”Wi pinghi s
fi
nger sonthedamphand- t
owelthey’dbroughtf rom
thebat hr
oom, hethr
ewitontothetablecloth.“I
shouldhaveknownbet ter
,huh?”

Herbeaut
if
ulf
ace,devoi
dofallmake-
upnow,
becamesombre.“
I’
m sorr
y,Raj.
”

Raj
ivgazedather,t
ryi
ngnott othi
nkabout
t
omor r
ow,orthefut
ure,orthefactthattheynever
wouldbeli
kethi
sagain,sit
ting,
enjoyingjustbei
ng
together .He’ ddecidedear l
ier, whilet heywer einthe
shower ,thathewasgoi ngtomaket hemostoft hei
r
l
astf ewhour s.Itwaspoi ntl
essget tingangr yand
frustratedbyt hefactt hatshecoul dn’ t,orwouldn’t,
continuet hisaffai
rwi thhi m.He’ dknown, deep
down, thatshewoul dneveragr eetoi t.Besi desshe
deser vedsomuchmor e.Shedeser vedamanwho
couldbet hereforheral lt
het ime, givi ngheral lthe
l
oveandat tenti
onint hewor ld, j
ustl i
keFat i
ma’ s
fatherhadwant edf orhi sdaught er.Notsome
messed- updegener ate, whocoul dof ferherno
mor et hananaf fairont hesi de, hidingt heir
relat
ionshi pfrom hisfami l
y,hi smot her ,andhis
brother .Whi lehislong- term plansi ncl uded
mar ryinganI ndianwoman, whowoul dnotsethi s
bloodonf ir
e—acomf or table,traditionalI ndian
woman, whowoul dbearhi m chi l
dren, chil
drenwho
woul dnotbemessed- uphal f-breeds, tor nbetween
twocul turesashehadbeen—ashest illwas.

Sohewasgoingt
ovalueever
ymomentofthi
slast
ni
ghtt
oget
herandtomorr
ow—tomor
row,he’
dgo
backtoLondonanddealwitht
het ormentofnot
seeingheragai
n.Theyst
il
lhadtonightandthatwas
allt
hatmatter
edri
ghtnow.

“Thatwasabsol utel
ydeli
cious,Raj.
”Shewipedher
handsont hedampt owel,
li
fti
ngherarms,
stret
ching,andarchingli
keasat i
sfi
edfel
ine.“I
’
m
compl et
elystuff
ed.Andthewi ne—”shetookasi p,
closi
nghereyesandl i
cki
ngherl i
ps.“Mmm, thi
s
wineisdivine.”

Rajivsmi l
edi ndulgentl
y.He’ dchosent hewi nes
carefull
yafteral ongdi scussi onwi t
hPaul o.Inf act,
eachcour sehadbeencar efull
ychosen, f
rom the
quailseggst ot hestregacr èmebr ulee.And
alt
hought hedi nnerhadn’ tgoneaspl anned,itfelt
perfecttobesi tti
ngher eont hef l
oor,Indi
anst yle,
eati
ngwi tht heirhands, enjoyingt hefoodandwi ne,
j
usti nadifferentwayf rom whathe’ dplanned.But
then,thi
ngssel dom wentaspl annedwher eMaya
wasconcer ned.
Chapt
er40

Hercateyeswer eduskyi nt hesof tl

ighti
ng, givi
ng
herasoul full ook, herhai rdampf r
om t heirshower ,
clingingt oherbar eski nwher ether obegapedwi de
atherbr east s.Oneni pplewaspeeki ngoutathi m,
stirri
nghi ssenses.Thebl oodl eavinghi sbr ai
nt o
floodhi sgr oin,hi sbodyhar denedasal ways, ready
forher .Her ecalledt hel asttimet hey’ dmadel ovein
London, whenshe’ dst raddledher selfabovehi m,
takingcont rol.He’ dbeent hinkingabouti tever
since, besidest hebr uises, ofcour se.Itwas
somet hi
nghe’ dneverenj oyedoreveni ndulgedi n
wi thanot herwoman, butwi t
hheri thadbeen
i
ncr ediblyexci t
ing.Event houghhi si nsti
nctshad
ur gedhimt or ollheroverandt akecont rol,hehadn’ t
.
Ithadj ustbeent oogood.Hewant edhert here,
abovehi m agai n, want edt oseei fitwasj ustaf luke,
aonet i
met hing.Heneededt oknow, andt heideaof
i
tl efthimt hr obbingwi thant icipati
on.
“
Comeher
e,”hesai
d.

Herbr
owsl
if
ted,
asshesi
ppedherwi
ne.“
What
?”

“
Comeoverher
etome.
”

Shehesi tatedamoment ,
thensetti
ngtheglass
down, shesmi led,asexy, femi
ninesmile,and
crawledar oundt hemount ainoffoodtohissideof
therug.Het urnedt ofaceherassher eachedhi s
side,runninghi sf i
ngerfrom hercheek,downher
throattotheexposedni pplepeeki
ngathim.She
draggedi nai rashi sthumbbr ushedatthedar k
rosepebbl e.

“Beauti
ful
,
”hesaid,
thi
ckl
y,pushi
ngt
hesi
lkyr
obe
offhershoul
der
.

Shewaskneel
ingbef
orehi
m.Hespr
eadhi
slegs,
draggingt hetowelthatcover edhim of
fhishi
psand
pulli
ngherbet weenhi sthighs.Lif
ti
nghishandto
threadhi sfi
ngersthroughherdamphai r,
hetwist
ed
i
tandhel dherheadt ightbeforecoveri
nghermouth
i
nal ong,sensualkiss.Hel eanedbackonhisfree
hand, taki
ngherwi thhim.

Li
fti
ngherhands,shespr eadthem agai
nsthis
broadshoul
ders,whil
ehecont inuedtoexpl
oreher
mouthwithhistongue,f
istinghisfi
nger
sintoher
hair
.

“Becaref
ul,
thewi
ne-
glass,
”shebr
eat
hedagai
nst
hisl
ips.

Hesli
dthecryst
algl
assoutoft
hei
rwaywi
thsweet
ant
ici
pat
ion.

TheAubussonrugwassoftagai
nsthi
sbareski
nas
helaybackandpul
ledher
,ontohi
sbody.Tensi
on
ti
ghteneddeepi nsidehim, hi
sbodyandmi nd
confli
cted, andhewonder edifhecouldagainenjoy
awoman—t hi
swoman—abovehi m,taki
ngcontrol.
Asshesl idoverhi m, hereali
sedwhataner oti
c
feel
ingitcoul dbe, havi
ngherspr eadabovehim.It
gavehishandsf r
eer ei
gnoverherbody, andhe
tookfulladvant age,easi
ngt herobeoffherother
shoulder,leavingherupperbodynakedandf reeto
hishungr ygazeandhands.

Mayaseemedt obeenj oyingi tasmuchashi m.Her

war m handspr esseddownagai nsthim, she
l
ower edhermout ht ohis,butunl i
kehim, herkisses
wer el
ight,teasing,andherl i
psbr ushedl ightl
y
againsthis,untilhecouldn’ttakeanymor e.Lift
ing
hishead, hecapt uredhermout hwi t
hhi s.Hishands
wer eatherbr easts.Helovedt hewayt heyf el
l
forward,lushandi nvit
ing.Hewei ghedt hem inhis
palms, t
heni pplespokingpr ovocativel
yi ntohis
skin.
“Doyouli
keitl
iket
his,
bei
ngont
opofme?
”he
askedt
hickl
y.

Bloodwaspoundi ngt hr
oughhisveinsatthi
snew
andliberati
nger ot
ichigh.He,whohadbel i
evedhe’
d
experienceeverythingsexualoutther
ethatcoul
d
himt urnhim on,wasnowbei ngsensual
ly
subjugatedbyani nnocent
,aninnocentwhowas
taki
nghi m placeshe’dneverimagined.

“Il
oveit
,”shesai
d,l
eani
ngbackandt rail
ingher
fi
ngersalonghi
stenset
orso.Sheli
ft
edherhi psand
Raji
vgroanedasshesett
ledhersexdirectl
yagai
nst
t
her i
dgeofhisachi
ngshaft.

“
Doyou?
”

“It
hinkIdo,t
oo,”hechoked,needi
nghertoknow
whatthi
smeantt ohim.“Withyou.You’
rel
ikea
goddess,andI’
m yourwil
li
ngslave.
”
Over l
oadedbyer oti
csensat ions,helethishands
roam f rom herbreastdownsout h,determinedto
l
oset hedamnr obesot hathecoul dwat chher ,
nakedi nallherglor
y.Wat chhert hroughgr eedy
eyesandt ouchher,everyinchofher .Those
tantalizinghip-
bones, whichhecur vedhi shands
aroundnow, werecoveredbydel icate,softski
n,
i
nvitinghi minbetweent hem, wheret hattr
iangl
eof
copper y,spunsil
kawai t
edhi m.

“Mmm. ”Shethr
ewt herobetooneside,li
ft
ingher
armsandt hr
eadi
ngt hem t
hroughherhair,j
ustli
ke
thegoddessheknewshewas.Hercur vedbody
l
engthenedandtight
ened.“TodowithasIpl ease?”

Hesuckedi
nabr
eat
h.Wai
ti
ng.

“
Whatshal
lIdowit
hyoutoday?”Shesoundeda
l
it
tl
eti
psyf
rom t
hewine,
bolderthanusual
,buthe
wasn’taboutt
ocompl ai
n.Sherubbedhermoist
cr
otchagainsthi
m, sl
owly,si
nful
ly,
unti
lhef
elthe
woulddieifhedi
dn’tcome.“Tort
ureyouwit
h
pl
easure?”sheasked.

Andshedi d, beginningwi t
hhismout h,t
easingher
nipplesagai nsthissuckl i
ng,hungryli
ps,whileshe
heldhi sarmsabovehi shead.Rajivwasnotsur eif
thiswasapuni shmentorapl easur et
ooturned
i
nsi deoutt ocompr ehend.He’dhopedhemi ght
enjoyi tagain,buthe’ dhadnoi nkl
ingofhow
shat t
eringandover whelmingitcouldbehavi ngher
l
uxur iateinhim, takingadvantageofherfemi ni
ne
powert oseducehi mi nt
ohelplesssubmissi
on.

Hewasdesper atetogetinsideher
—desper ate—but
whenhet ri
edtoent ert
hatwet,i
nvit
ingcore,she
si
mpl yli
ft
edherselfandmoveddownwar dunt i
lher
breastswerebrushing,
tormenti
nghiserectionand
herli
pswer et
easinghisnavel.Gaspingf
orbr eath,
helurchedbeneathher,fi
sti
nghisfi
ngersintoher
hair
.Hewant edt
hatwar
m,tormenti
ngmouth
aroundhisfl
esh,
taki
nghi
m deep,butshegr
abbed
hi
swr i
sts.

Hewast oogoodat eacherandshehi savidstudent.

Sheanchoredhiswaywar dhandsathi ssides.Of
course,
hecouldhavef orci
blytakenover,
butt hat
wasnotwhathewant ed.Hehadt oall
owhert his
powerandenjoytheangui sh,nomatterhow
temptedhewast ograbher ,f
li
pherontoherback,
andholdherdownwhi l
e,hedrovehimselfint
oher
solongandhardthatshewoul dn’
tknowwher eshe
endedandhebegan.

“Maya,
”hesai
dhoar
sel
y.“
Ican’
tst
andmuchmor
e
of

t
his.
”

“
Ohno.
”Sher
anherhot
,wett
ongueal
ongt
her
idge
ofhi
sachingshaf
tandRaj
iv’
sbodywr
enchedi
n
sweetagony.“
Yousai
dyouweremysl
ave,
remember?”

Hi
schestwasheaving.Hef
eltl
ikehersl
aveandi
t
wassi
nfulecst
asy.

Shegazedupathi m whi lesheteasedhim witht

hat
l
usciousmout h.Rajivstaredi
ntoherglazedeyes,
eroti
cinti
macypul l
ingthem closetoget
her.She
seemedf ascinatedbyhi smanhood, li
cki
ng,sucki
ng,
caressi
ng—f ascinatedbyhowi tpul
sedandj umped
i
nr esponsetohermi nistr
ati
ons.

“
Iloveyourbody,
”shemur
mur
ed.

Hishipsj
erkedupt ohertor
tur
ingmout
h,sweat
seepi
ngfrom ever
ypor eashebucked,
onthebri
nk
oftumbli
ngintoorgasm.
“Pl
ease,Maya,
“hebegged.“
Iwantt
ocomei
nsi
de
you,now!
”

Shesmil
ed,l
if
ti
ngherselfbackont
ohim.Taking
hi
minherhand,sheguidedhisshafti
ntoherbody
andsl
owlysankontohim.

Aft
erwar d,shelaysplayedoverhim,bothofthem
panti
ng,sweat yandexhaust ed.Herhai
rspreadout
overhischest ,
sensual l
yti
ckli
nghisski
n,whilehi
s
handsroamedf rom hershoulder
s,downherback
andovert heslopingriseofherbutt
.Justanother
benefi
t,her eal
ised,
ofhavingheront opofhim.

“Ineverenjoyedthi
sposi
ti
onwit
hawomanbef
ore,
”
Raji
vconf essed,
drunkwi
thpl
easur
e.

“Real
ly?
”shepanted,l
if
ti
ngherheavyhead,
a
bli
ssed-
outexpr
essiononherf
ace.
“
Yeah.”Hebr eat
hedinherscent
,caressi
ngher
l
issom t
highs,cur
ledar
oundhiships.“I
tusedt
o
t
urnmeof f.”

Shecrossedherhandsoverhi
schest
,rest
ingher
chinonthem,sear
chinghi
sface.“
Whydoyout hi
nk
thatwas?”

Helaughed.“
Yousoundli
keather
api
st.Ar
eyou
goi
ngtopsycho-
analysemenow?”

*
**

Mayasensedanedgeofwar inessinhistone.“No,
Raj.
”Shepressedherlipstohismoi stski
n.“I
’m not
yourther
api
st.I
’m yourlover
—f ort
onightanyway.”

Hereleasedalongsigh,
whichshef
eltallal
ongher
body.“ButIam cur
ious,
”shesai
dqui
ckly,not
want
ingt
ospoi
lthei
rint
imat
emood.“Imean,why
woul
dyouenj
oymebei ngontopandnotot
her
women?”

Hestar edupattheceil
ing,hi
sr oaminghands
sendingshiver
supherspi ne.“Doyout hi
nkI
haven’taskedmyselfthatquestion?Si
ncewef i
rst
didi
tinLondon, I
’vebeenwonder i
ngabouti
t.
”

“Wel
l,I
’
m notexact
lythevoiceofexperi
ence.
”She
smil
ed.“ButIwasundertheimpressi
onthatmen
l
ovedthatthi
sposi
ti
on.”

“Ithi
nkt heydo.
”Hecuppedherbot tom andher
eyesdroopedatt hesensat
ionofthosestrong
explor
inghands.“ AndnowIunderstandwhy.”His
hipsli
ftedsuggestivel
ybet
weenhert hi
ghs,butshe
wasn’tgoi ngt
oallowhimtodist
racther.

“
Maybeyou’
rej
ustt
oomachoanddomi
neer
ing,
”
shesaidwithalaugh,butshewonderedifthi
swas
tr
ue.Sheknewhewasn’ tmacho,buthedidhavea
verydominantcontr
oll
ingstr
eak.She’dbeenawar
e
ofthatf
rom thei
rveryfi
rstmeeti
ng.

“Hey!
”Hesl
appedherbot
tom pl
ayf
ull
y.“
Areyou
cal
li
ngmemacho?”

Shegiggl
ed.“No,sorr
yyou’renotreal
lymacho.I
don’
tthi
nk.”Hiseyestwinkl
ed.“Butyoucanbevery
domineer
ing,evencontr
olli
ng.
”sheendedwar i
ly.

Hesighedagain.Shelovedthefactthatshecoul
d
act
uall
yfeeleverysensati
onofhisbodyagainst
her
s.Howl uckywasshet hatheenjoyedhavingher
spr
awledont opofhiml i
kethi
s?

“You’
reright
,Iam abi
tofacont
rol
-f
reak.
”He
hesit
ated.
“
Inandoutofbed.
”

Shekeptsi
lent
,hopi
nghe’
dsaymor
e.

“Maybeit’
sgotsomet hingtodowi t
hmychi ldhood.”
Thatwasano- brai
ner,butshewasn’tabouttosay
so.“Maybe,”sheagreedcaut i
ousl
y.“Maybewi th
yourfat
herbeingtheper sonthathewas.”She
choseherwor dscareful
ly,notwanti
ngtoinsulthis
fat
her.

“Whatdoyouknowaboutmyf ather
?Besidest
he
factt
hathewasatotalbastar
d.”Hesmileddownat
her,t
aki
ngtheedgeoffhisharshwords.

“Raj
!”sheexcl
aimed.“
Act
ual
lyJayspokequi
teal
ot
aboutyourfat
her.
”

“
Yeah,
andI
’
m sur
enoneofi
twasgood.
”Even
thoughhewasl
ooki
ngather
,hi
smi
ndseemedt
o
befaraway.

“Soyouthi
nkhe’
sther
easonyouneedt
ofeeli
n
cont
rol
?”

She’
dbroughtt
hesubjectbackt
ohim,wanti
ngt
o
under
standhi
m, eveni
fshewasn’tgoi
ngt
oseehim
agai
n.

“Yes.
”Hiseyesst
il
lhel
dthatf
ar-
awayl
ook.“
Dir
ect
ly
andindi
rect
ly.
”

“
Indi
rect
ly?
”Shestrokedhi
sbrown,
mascul
ine
t
hroatwi
thherf
inger.“I
nwhatway?”

Hebli
nkedsuddenl
yasifnowbackinthepr
esent.
“Hesentmetoboardi
ngschoolwhenIwassix.
”
Mayabitbackagaspofshock, f
orci
ngherbodyto
remainrel
axedagainsthi
s,thoughthet
houghtofa
six-
year
-oldRaj
ivsentofft
oboar di
ngschooll
eft
herfeel
ingphysi
call
ysick.

“Mymotherbeggedhi
m notto.Jaywasn’
tbornyet
andshewasdevastat
ed,buthetooknonoti
ceof
her
,andIwentofft
oboardingschool
.”

Shewant edtoshoutinoutrage,butf
orcedherself
notto.Thiswasabouthim, nother.“
Yourpoor
mother.”HerheartwentouttoAnna.Nowonder
shewassocl ose,soprotecti
veofhersons.Itmust
havebeenhel lf
orher.Nevermindwhati twould
havebeenl i
keforasix-
year-ol
d.“Howbadwasi t
?”

Helaughed,ahar
sh,unpleasantsoundt
hat
rumbledfr
om hi
schestthroughtoherbreaki
ng
hear
t.
“
Wel l
,Iwasn’
tsexual
lyabused,
ift
hat
’swhatyou’
re
t
hinki
ng.”

“Thereareotherkindsofabusebesidessexual
abuse, Raj
.”Shekepthervoiceseri
ous,not
preparedtotri
vial
ise,
orglossoverwhathewas
tel
li
ngher .

“Yeah,
wellitwasn’tthatbad,Maya. ”Helif
tedhis
handtostrokeherhai r
,spreadingitagai
nsthis
chestwit
hobviouspl easure.“Iwasn’tr
eall
yabused,
j
ustabitofaboar ding-schoolbull
ying,t
hat’sal
l.
”

Mayaswallowedhar d.Herbodyt
rembl
ingi
nsi
de,
shekeptherbreat
hingslowandeven.

“Ther
ewer equiteafewIndi
anboysi ntheschool,
whichmymot herthoughtwouldhelp.”Onceagain
helaughedthathumor l
ess,
cyni
callaugh.“ButI
wasn’tf
ull
yIndian,norwasIEngl
ish,soIdidn’tf
iti
n
real
ly.Iwasahal f-
breed,nei
theronenort heot her
.
SoIhadt ost andupf ormyself
,whichIl earnedto
do.”Hemusthavenot i
cedsomethingi nhereyes,
forhesmiled, asof
treassuri
ngsmi le.“Hey, what
doesn’tki
llyoumakesyoust r
onger,right?”

Mayahadneveragr eedwit
hthatpart
icular
phil
osophy,butshesmil
edanywayandcuppedhi s
faceinherhands,pr
essi
ngherlipst
ohi s.Givi
ng
him comforti
ntheonewaysheknewhewoul d
acceptit
,shebeganmakinglovetohi
m al lover
again.
Chapt
er41

Eventuall
ytheymadei tbacktot hebedroom and
anothershower .Rajivsoapedhersubl i
mebody,
whichwasnowsof amil
iartohim,he’dcomet o
recognizeeverycurve,everyindentati
onand
nuanceofhersensual ,r
esponsivebody.Justwhen
hef i
nal
lyknewherer ogenouszones—l iketheback
ofherneck, t
hecur veofherspi ne,herearl
obes,
whichseemedt obeadirecthotli
netohersexever
y
ti
mehebi tthem—shewasgoi ngtol
eavehim.
Leavehimf oranot
herman,eventuall
y,t
oexplor
e,t
o
possess.Justthet
houghtofitmadehi m wantt
o
l
ashout ,t
ohowlattheinj
usticeofit
.

Hesoapedherback, tryi
ngtocont rolt heagonyt hat
waseat ingi nt
ohim,eachmi nutebr i
ngi ngthem
cl
osert ot heend.Smoothingt hesoapysudsof fher
shoul dersandback, heslidhishandbet weenthe
i
nvitingcur veofherbutt
ocks, fi
ndingherswol l
en
cl
itoris,slickanddist
ended, fr
om thei rprolonged
l
ovemaki ng.Heknewheshoul dstop.Herbodywas
sti
llunaccust omedtosomuchact i
on, buthe
couldn’tgetenoughofher .Andt het houghtofnot
beingwi thheragainonlylefthim cravingf ormore.

Shepressedherhandsagainstthewalloft
he
shower,archi
ngherspi
ne.Thespr ayofwaterr
an
downherl ongbodyi
nrivul
ets,whichhecaught
wit
hhist ongue,
li
cki
ngandsucki ngatherl
usci
ous,
wetskinuntiltheur gencyofhi sneedst ookover
andheent eredherf r
om behind,poundi ngint
oher
asifhecouldmakeherhi swit
ht hisdesperat
e,
compulsivelovemaki ng.Hishandscuppedand
squeezedherdel iciouswetbr easts,sl
idingdown
betweenherl egst ocl ai
m andtormentheri nfl
amed
fl
esh,whilehedr ovei ntoherpunishinglyfrom
behind.

Forget
ti
ngallhisgoodint
enti
ons,hegri
ppedher
soddenhairandpull
edherhairbacktoli
ckand
suckatthewaterrunni
ngdownherneck.Fi nall
y,he
bithi
steet
hintoherearl
obe,sendi
ngherwr ithi
ng
andsobbingovertheedge.Hisownbodyj erked
andbucked,breaki
nglooseandexplodi
ngdeep
i
nsideofher.

Aft
erward,hesatheront hel
ongmar bl
edcount er
anddriedherli
mpbody, asifshewereachil
d.“Ar e
youokay?”Itseemedhewasf or
everaski
nghert hat
quest
ionaftersex,
alwayspromisinghimsel
f,he’d
goeasyonherandt
henl
osi
ngcont
rol
.

“
Mmm,
wonder
ful
.”

Hebreatheddeep,wat chingherheaddr oopwi t

h
exhausti
on.Beingaroundherseemedt ot ur
nhim
i
ntosomeki ndofani mal.Heshookhi shead, water
dri
ppingontothemar bletil
es.She’dberidofhim
soonenough.Car r
yinghert othebedroom, helay
hergentl
ydownont hemat tress,
coveri
ngherwi th
thesoftcot
tonsheet.

Pouringhi msel faglassoft hef ul

l-bodiedredwi ne
he’dchosent ogetherwi t
hPedr o,
hewentandsati n
oneoft hepl ushar mchairsf acingt hebed,wat chi
ng
hersleep.Itr emindedhi m ofthef irstt
imet hey’d
beent ogether ,
whenhe’ ddi scover edshewasa
vir
gin.God, t
heshockofi t
!Howhe’ dhurtherand
thengonei ntodenial,convincinghi mselfthatshe
mightst i
llbeavi rgi
n,convinci nghi mselft
hathe
wouldn’ttouchheragai n.Hesmi ledcynically.At
l
eastnowhe’ dacceptedthathecouldn’tbe
anywherearoundt hi
swomanwi thoutlosingcont
rol
andwanting,needingtobeinsi
deher .Andhe
coul
dn’ti
magi neiteverbei
nganyotherway.

Hef r
owned, r
ecall
ingwhathe’ dtol
dherabouthi s
chil
dhood.I tl
efthimf eeli
ngvulnerableand
exposed.He’ dneverspokent oanyoneel seaboutit
before,neverbeeni ntheleastbitt
empt edto,except
hismot her.Sheknewt hathe’
dsuf fer
ed,buthe’d
nevertoldherso, alwaysput t
ingonabr avefront
whent hehol i
dayswer eoverandi twast i
met ogo
back.

Butspeaki ngtoMayahadgi venhimi nsighti nt

o
whyhewast hemessed- up,di
sturbedcont rol-f
reak
thathewas.Shewoul dmakeagoodpsychol ogist
,
her eal
ised,feeli
ngar idi
culoussenseofpr ide.She
l
istened, r
eal
lyl i
stened,anditbecamecl eart ohim
whyhewant ed, neededt obet hedomi nantonei n
thebedr oom.I twassoobvi ous.Especi all
yt hefact
thatheonl yr eall
yenj oyeddomi nat ingwhi t
e,
Europeanwoman.TheI ndianki dsatt heexcl usive
boar ding-schoolhadj ustdi sdainedhi m, wher eas
theEngl i
shoneshadr eal l
yr esent edhi m.They’ d
resent edt hef actthathedar edt ospeakandbehave
l
iket hem.Bi ggerwhi t
e, Engl i
shboyswoul dt hrow
himt ot hegr ound, laughi ngandhumi l
iati
nghi m,
holdinghi m down, whi let heysl appedhi sf aceand
punchedhi sbody, maki ngsur enott oleaveany
mar ks.Thepai nhecoul dbear .Itwast he
humi li
at i
ont hathadgot tent ohi m.They’ dsatonhi s
smal lbody, holdinghi shandsandcal l
inghi m all
sortsofnamesf rom ahal f-breedbast ardt oadi rt
y
cooliewhoshoul dneverhavebeenal l
owedi nto
thei
rpr estigi
ousboar ding- school .Thatwaswhen
he’dknownhewoul dneverbeEngl ish,never
want edt obeEngl ishl i
kehi sdet establef ather.He
woul dmar ryanI ndi anwomanandhaveI ndi an
chil
dr en, whowoul dn’tevenneedt oknowabout
thei
rEngl ishher i
tage.I thadbeenj ustanot her
reasonhe’ df eltr
el iefwhenhi sfat herhaddi ed.Now
hischi ldrenwoul dneverhavet ofacet heirwhi t
e,
Englishl ow- li
fegr andf ather .
Soonaf t
erhisfat
her’sdeathRaji
vhadchangedt he
companyname, mucht othedist
rustand
disagr
eementoft heboard-member s.He’
dchanged
thenamef rom MaddoxI nvest
mentst oMaddox-
JuntaInvestments.

Hedr ainedt hewinef rom thegl ass,rakinghi s

shakyf inger sthroughhi shai r
.Thememor i
es
evokedunpl easantemot i
onst hatl efthimf eeli
ng
betr
ayedandenr aged.Sorr yforthatl i
ttl
eboywho’ d
l
osthi si nnocenceatt hehandsofbi gger,older
bull
ieswhower eprobablyj ustasmi serableand
homesi ckashewas.Nowonderhe’ dneverenj oyed
thepl easur esofawomant aki
ngcont rol.I
twas
ther
e, st ar
inghi mint hefaceal lthist i
me.Yet ,he
want edMayaabovehi m, maki nghi m herslave.
Justt hinkingabouti tmadehi m har d.

*
**
Rajivawokehour slaterandfeltpanicr
isewithi
n
him assoonasher eali
sedMayawasnoti nthebed
besidehim.Hegl ancedatt heornatebedsi
declock.
Ten-twent
yi nthemor ning?Hadshel eftwi
thout
sayinggoodbye!Hehear dnoisescomingfrom the
otherroom andjumpedoutoft hebed.Heartracing,
hest r
odethroughthedoubl edoor s,
almost
coll
apsingwi t
hreli
ef.

“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?”heasked,
tryi
ngnott
oreveal
t
hepani
cpumpi
ngthroughhi
sveins.

*
**

Mayaalmostj
umpedoutofherski
n.“
Raj
iv!God,
yougavemeaf r
ight
.”

Hest
aredatherforal
ongmoment
,thenbl
inked
andr
ubbedhiseyes.
Mayar ecall
edtheirf
ir
stmor ni
ng-af
ter ,
whenhe’ d
foundheront hephonei nhisl
ivi
ng-room.He’ d
beensoangr y.Shestrai
ghtenedherspi ne,
readyf or
anotherargument.Hewasnaked, j
ustashe’ dbeen
thatmorning,butshewasnol ongert heski
tti
sh,
i
nnocent ,
recentl
yde-fl
oweredvir
ginshe’ dbeen
then.

“
Goodmor
ning,
”shesai
dcar
eful
ly.

Hi
sfacewaspalebeneat
hhi
sdar
k,t
annedski
n.“
I
t
houghtyou’
dlef
t.
”

“Oh,Raj!
”Shewenttohim,cir
cli
ngherarmsround
hiswaistandpr
essinghercheektohisthumpi
ng
chest.“
Iwouldneverl
eavewithoutsayi
ng
goodbye.”

Hesqueezedhert
ight
,st
roki
ngherhai
rashi
s
br
eathi
ngcalmed.
Shepr essedmoi stkissesalonghisstr
ong,brown
throat.“Youwer esleepingsopeacef ul
ly,
andI
didn’twantt odisturbyou,”shewhisperedagainst
thescr atchystubbleofhi sj
awline.

Herbonesmel t
edasshel ift
edherheadtolookat
him.Hi seyeswer esl
eepy,hooded,hi
smessyhai r
fal
li
ngont ohisfacewher edesi
gnerstubbl
e
darkenedhisjawandsur roundedhissensual
mout h.Shewant edtopressherli
pstoeveryinchof
thatharsh,yetvulner
abl
ef ace.

Heglancedbehi
ndherandf
rowned.“
Whatar
eyou
doi
ng,Maya?”

Sheshr
uggedhersli
m shoul
der
s.“
Iwasj
ust
cl
eani
ngupali
ttl
e.”

Heshookhi
sheadandshel
if
tedherhandt
opush
hi
shai
rfr
om hi
sfor
ehead.

“Whyonear
th—Mayat
hisisahot
el.Thestaffis
pai
dtocl
eanther
ooms.It
’st
hei
rjob,notyours.
”

“Iknow.
”Shebitherbott
om li
p.“Buttheywenttoso
mucht r
oubl
e,andIdon’twantthem toknowwe
endedupeati
ngtheirgourmetdinneronthefl
oor.
”

Helaughed,ahusky,sexysoundt hatweakenedher
l
imbs.“You’
recrazy,youknowt hat?I’
l
lmakesur e
t
otipthem generousl
yandI ’
m suretheywon’tcare
whereweat ethei
rdeli
cious,
gourmetf ood.
”

Shedisagreedwit
hhi swayofthi
nking, butkeptitt
o
hersel
fandt ur
nedinhisarmstolookatt hedishes
neatl
ystackedont hetr
oll
eyandthet able-
clot
hnow
coveri
ngtheoval,anti
quedini
ng-
table.“Well,I
’m
al
mostdone. ”
Hesl idhisarmsaroundherfrom behi nd,pull
ingher
backagai nstthehard,war
m wallofhi sbody.
“There’saDoNotDi sturbsi
gnont hedoor ,
soyou
don’tneedt oworryaboutanystaffcomi nginand
seeingt heresul
tsofourbadbehavi orjustyet.
Well.”Hebur i
edhisfaceinherhair.“Whydon’ twe
gobackt obed,hmm? ”

“Raj.”Sheleanedint
ot heheatofhi
smasculi
ne
torso,sweet,l
anguorinvadi
ngherbodyashisbold,
erectionpr
essedintoherbottom.“You’
rei
nsat
iable,
doyouknowt hat?”

“It
hinkyoumayhavementi
oneditbefore,
”he
murmuredthi
ckl
y,sl
idi
nghi
shandi ntotherobeshe
waswear i
ngandcuppi
ngherbreast.“
Youfeelli
ke
heavenandIwantsomeofit
.Ineedi t
,now.”

Mayacoveredhisot
herhandbefor
eitr
eachedits
desti
nat
ion,
betweenherl
egs.“
Letmejustfi
nish
sort
ingt
hisout
.”
“Hush.
”Inoneswoopi
ngmove,helif
tedheri
ntohi
s
armsandcarri
edheri
ntot
hebedroom.
Chapt
er42:FI
NALE

Mayastaredatt
hebedsi declock—almostt
welve.
Thecurt
ainsweresti
lldrawn,justt
hebedsi
de-l
amp
on,l
eavi
ngherfeel
ingliketheywerecocoonedin
thei
r

ownlit
tl
euni
ver
se,
butthewor
ldout
sidewasstil
l
ti
cki
ngover–andsoonshewoul
dhavetoleave.

Aftercarryingherint
ot hebedroom, Raji
vhadtaken
histime,maki nglong,lazylovetoher,l
ayingback
andal l
owi nghertostraddlehisthighsanddo
exactlywhatshewant edwi thhi
m.Thi swasasnew
tohim asi twast oher,whichhadgi venheranextra
boostofconf i
dence.Andshe’ dtakenful
ladvantage
ofit,l
ovingt hewayhiseyesgl it
teredwit
h
newf ounddesi reasshet easedandt ormentedhi m.
Evengoi ngasf arastotouchandcar essher self
l
ikeshehadi nLondon,revell
inginhiscrazed
response.Fi nall
yhe’dfli
ppedheront oherbackand
driveni ntoherwithuncontrol
ledpassion,leaving
herdr enchedi npleasureandf eel
ingli
keawi ld
tempt ress,j
ustbeginningtobecomeawar eofher
ownpowert opleasehim andher sel
f.

Raji
vwasdozi ngbesi deher,onehandr est
ingon
herbell
y,hi
slegt hrownoverher s,hol
dingherclose
betweenhisthighs.Shesi ghedheavi l
y,aholl
ow
feel
ing,whi
chwasn’ thunger,settl
ingbeneathhi
s
warm hand,deepi nsideofher .Sheneededt oget
up,haveashower ,andgetreadyt oleave.Thei
r
ti
mei nthi
ssweet ,sultr
ylit
tl
euni versewasaboutt o
comet oanend.

Shi
ft
ingher
sel
fsl
owl
y,shet
ri
ednott
owakehi
m up.

Hel
if
tedhi
shead,
eyesbl
ueandal
ert
.“Wher
ear
e
yougoi
ng?
”

Damn, she’
dhopedshecoul dhavehershower
beforewakinghim.“Ineedtoshower,Raj.”Hesi
tant
,
l
oathet obri
ngupthesubject,
shef or
cedher sel
fto
move.Hi sgri
pti
ghtened.Shesighed.“Ineedto
startget
ti
ngready.I
t’sget
ti
nglate.
”

Hereyeswi
denedashesworecrudel
y.I
tsti
ll
sur
pri
sedherwhenhedi
dthat,
butsheknewhe
onl
ysworewhenhewasreal
lyangryorupset
.

“I
sitbecauseofthebr
uises,becauseoft
herough
sex?Isthatwhyyoudon’twantmeanymor e?
”

“Ofcoursenot!YouknowIlovehowyoumakeme
feel
,”shesaid,
stil
ltooshyt
oputint
owordst
hefact
thatsheloveditwhenhebecamewildandl
ost
controldur
ingsex.
Desper
ateeyessearchedherface.“I
t’
sJay,
isn’
tit
?
He’
swar nedyouagainstbei
ngwi t
hme? ”

“Jay?
”Mayafrownedupathi
m.“
Jaydoesn’
tknow
aboutus,
doeshe?”

Heshuthi
seyes,
shaki
nghi
shead.“
No.
”

“
Thenwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”

“I
t’
sjust—Iknowhewoul
dn’tapprove.Myi
ntent
ions
notbeinghonor
abl
eandallthat
.”

“
Howdoyoumean?
”

“Youknow.Thefactt
hatIcan’
tofferyoumarr
iage.
Thateventual
lyI
’
m goi
ngtomar r
yanI ndi
an
woman. ”
Herhear
ttor
e.“
Itol
dyouIdon’
twantmar
ri
age!
”

“
Thenwhy?Whydon’
tyouwantt
obewi
thme?
”

Mayadr aggedherselfawayfrom hi
m, gotoutof
bed,pull
edont herobe—whichwasst rewnacr oss
thebott
om oft hebed—andtieditwit
ht r
embling
hands.“BecauseifIstaywit
hyou, I
’
llendupget ting
myhear tbroken,t
hat’
swhy.”There,she’
dsaidi t,
to
hersel
fandt ohim,fi
nall
y.

Hesatf orward,kneesbent,
andr akedbothhands
throughhi shair
,pul
li
ngatitwithtensefi
ngers.He
seemedatal ossforwordsforachange, andMaya
wal kedtowardtheen-sui
tebathroom,unableto
facehi m anylonger
.

“Wait
!”Shetur
nedroundsl
owly,
stari
ngatapoi
nt
abovehishead.“
Yousaidyoudi
dn’twant
marr
iage.
”Thewordswer et
ornfr
om hi
m.“
Yousai
d
youdidn’
tevenbel
ievei
nmarri
age.

Sowhati
sityouwantf
rom me?Tel
lmewhatt
o
do.
”

Sheshookherheadi ndef eat,notknowi ngt he

answerher self.“Ijustwant —need—t ogetonwi th
myl if
e,Raji
v,”shesai d,f
inally.“Thisaffairwasnot
meantt olast.It’
sbeencr azy—andwonder f
ul —but
i
tsr unitscourse.I tneedst oend, now,today.We
bothhavet ogetonwi thourl ives.Istartwor king
tomor r
ow.I’vet oldyout hisbef oreandyouknow
I’
mr ight.Wecan’ tal waysgetwhatwewant .So
please—”Fi nallyshel ower edhergazeandst ared
i
nt ohisdespai ri
ng, beauti
fulbl ueeyes.“ Let’
snot
endt hi
sbadl y.Icoul dn’
tbeart hat.Let’
sbehavel ike
sensible,r
esponsi bleadul tsandsaygoodbye
withoutanyani mosi t
yorr ecriminat i
ons.Let’swi sh
eachot herwel landgooursepar ateways. ”
*
**

Raji
vwasnoti nt hebedr
oom whenMayareturned
from hershower,butshecoul
dhearhi
mtalkingin
themai nroom andwasn’tsur
eifhewasonthe
phoneorwi thsomeone.

Shewasdryi
ngherhairwiththepowerful
,hot
el
hai
rdr
yerwhenheentered,cl
osingthedoorbehi
nd
hi
m.Mayaswi t
chedoffthehair
dryer.

“Thecleani
ngst af
fishere.
”Therewasaguarded,
almostformaltonetohisvoice.“
CanIor
deryou
somebr unch.Youmustbehungr y.
”

Thet houghtoff oodleftherfeeli

ngillandshef el
t
meanr ef
usinghi soffer
,butshehadt opreparefor
workt omorrowandi twasget t
inglate.“Thankyou,
Rajiv,butI’
mr eall
ynothungr y.”Shel ookedint
ohis
grave,blueeyes, notwantinganypr etencebetween
t
hem.“
I’
m af
rai
dIcoul
dn’
teatanyt
hingr
ightnow.
”

He’dputonapai roff
adedbluej eanswithanI ndian
coll
arlessshi
rtopenhalf-waydownhi sdar k-
ski
nnedchestandMaya’ sheartmel t
ed.Hest i
ll
hadn’tshaved,hishai
rwasmessyf r
om theirlove-
making, andi
twashar dtobelieveshewoul dnotbe
seei
ngt hi
sgorgeouscreatur
e,whost il
lwant edher,
again.

Her
aisedhi
sdar
kbr
ows,
hopef
ull
y.“
Cof
fee?
”

Mayasmi
led,
tryi
ngtokeepthi
ngsupbeat
.“Cof
fee
woul
dbel
ovely,t
hankyou.
”

Hel
eftt
her
oom asi
feagerf
orsomet
hingt
odo.

Bythet
imeshel
eftt
hebedroom,
Maya’
shai
rwas
dr
yandshewasdressed.
Althoughshefel
tover-
dressedfordayt
ime,shewas
simplytoonumbt ocar
e.Herjacketwasinthemain
room, buti
twaswarm andcomf ort
ableenough
withoutit
.

Gazinglongingl
yatt hestatelybedroom and
tumbledbedf orthelastti
me, sheenteredthemai n
room withasmuchcal m asshecoul dmust er.
Besidesthecoffee,ther
ewer ewar m cr
oissants,
bowlsofcur l
ybut t
er,aselectionofcheeses, aswell
asmar maladeandconser ves, al
lsetoutont he
coff
ee-tabl
e.Rajivstoodup, takingherhand, and
drewherdownt ositbesidehi m onthedar k,l
eather
chester
fiel
d.Hepassedheral argecupof ,fr
othy
coff
ee.

“Pl
easeeatsomet
hing,
Maya,”hesaid.“It
’saf
ter
oneandyouhaven’
teatensi
ncelastnight.
”
“
Okay.
”

Shesmi l
ed,surpr
isedthatthemouth-water
ingsmell
offr
eshlybakedcr oi
ssantslef
therfeeli
ngli
keshe
couldeatali
ttl
e.Thecoffeewasdelicious,
aswas
thecroi
ssant,whi
chshehadwi thgr
atedcheddar
cheese.Somehowhermoodhadl i
ft
edandshe
wasn’tabouttoquesti
onit.

“Soyou’
rest
art
ingwor
ktomorrow?”heasked,
as
shebiti
ntot
hewarm,f
lakycr
oissant
.

“
Yes,
andI
’
m abi
tner
vousabouti
t,
”sheadmi
tt
ed.

“They’
reluckytohaveyou,Maya.”Hi
seyeswere
seri
ous.“Beli
eveme,asanempl oyer
,Iknowyou’
l
l
excelatwhateveryouputyourmindto.
”

Hesoundedsoear
nestt
hatsheal
mostbel
ieved
him.Shewaspassi onat
eaboutt hisj
obandshe
wouldputeveryt
hingint
oit.“Thankyou, Raj,
as
someonewhoempl oys—”Shepaused, r
oll
ingher
eyes.“
—thousandsofpeopl e,yourbel
iefinme
meansalot.”

Raj
ivdrankthr
eecupsofcof f
eeandwat ched
i
ndulgentl
ywhil
eshef ini
shedof fwhatwasonher
pl
ate.Theyspokeofuni mportantthi
ngs, l
ikethi
s
hot
el t
hathe’
dstayedatbef ore,andhisprevious
vi
sit
stoEdinburgh.He’dvisi
tedqui t
eaf ewt i
mes
whil
eJaywasst udyinghere,whi chsurpri
sedher.

Tot hi
nkthathe’dbeenher e,atwentymi nutewalk
fr
om herhome, maybet hey’devenpassedeach
otheronthestreetsofEdi nburgh.Hecar essedher
withhiseyesandpul ledherhai rbacksot hathe
couldwatchherwhi lesheat e,brushingacr umb
fr
om thecornerofhermout handlickingitoffhi
s
fi
nger.Itwasallveryinti
mat e,buteventuall
yhadt o
end.Shecouldn’tcont i
nuet ostal
lanyl onger.
“
Doyoubel
ievei
nlove?
”heasked.

Mayaal
mostdr
oppedt
hecof
feecup.

“
Imeanbei
ngi
nlove,
li
keSanj
ayandKur
t.
”

Shesetthecupdown,heri
nsidesbegi nningto
quake.“
Idon’
tknow,
”shelied.“Ibel
ievein
l
ove—lovingmymother,myfather,myf r
iends.
”She
tookadeepbreat
h.“
Doyou? ”

Hescratchedhishead,frowni
ng.“Idon’tthi
nkso.I
neverhave,r
eally,
”heansweredthought f
ull
y.“Li
ke
yousaid,Il
ovemymot herandmybr other,but
Sanjaykeepstalki
ngaboutsoul-mates.”Hismouth
fl
att
ened.Hedi dn’
tsoundconvinced.“Idon’tknow.
”

“
SowhataboutJayandKur
t?”Shehadt
oknow.
“
Youdon’
tthi
nkt
hey’
rei
nlove.
”

“Oh,t
hey’r
ei nlust
.”Hissmilewasknowi
ng,
suggest
ive.“Liketeenager
s.ButIt
hinkt
hatwi
ll
event
uall
yf ade.”

Andus,areweinlust?Mayacl
enchedhert
eet
h,he
soundedsocynical
.“Ar
eyousayi
ngyouthi
nk
they’
l
levent
ual
lybreak-
up?”

Heseemedt osuddenlyr
eali
sewhathewassaying,
andshookhi shead.“
Whoknows?Anythi
ng’
s
possi
ble,
right?
”Shekeptqui
et,
toodi
stur
bedto
answer.

“It
hinkmygr andparent
sr eal
lyl
ovedeachot her,
”he
conti
nued,andMayast aredathimi nsurpr
ise.He’d
nevermentionedhisgrandparentsbefor
e.“My
maternalgr
andparents,
”heclarif
ied.“
Theyalways
seemedsohappy, contentwithother.
”
“
Aret
heyst
il
lal
ive?
”

“Mygrandmot
heri
s,
”heanswer
ed.“
Mygr
andf
ather
died

notlongaft
ermyf at
her.Shewasdevast
ated,my
grandmother,
whenhedi ed.Andyett
hei
rswasan
arrangedmarri
age.Theyhardl
ykneweachother
,
andt heywer
esoyoung.It hi
nkshewasabout
fi
fteenwhentheymar r
ied.

“
Fif
teen!
”Mayaknewt hi
smusthavebeenal
ong
t
imeago,butst
il
l—f
if
teen?

Hesmi l
edathershockedout burst.“Thatwasthe
nor mint hosedays, andit
’ssti
llquit
ecommon
today.Nott hatIagr eewit
hit.
”Her eachedoutand
strokedherst ocking-cl
adleg,j
ustbel owthehem of
herdr ess.“Buttheywer ethehappiestcoupleI’
ve
everseenandt
heywer
emar
ri
edf
oraboutf
if
ty
years.
”

Shecoveredhi
shandwhenhisfi
nger
sbegan
makingthei
rwaybeneat
hthedr
ess.“
Sowherei
s
shenow? ”

Hesmi l
edatherdi vert
ingt acti
cs.“Sheli
vesinDelhi
,
abeauti
ful,col
onialhousei nOl dDelhi
.Itr
yt osee
herwheneverItraveltoI ndia.
”Hisexpression
changed.“You’
dr eall
ylikeher .She’
saver y
speci
all
ylady.”

*
**

Itwasaftertwobyt heti
meshewasr eadytoleave.
Theirconversati
onaboutloveandhisgrandmot her
haddisturbedher,butshedidn’
twanttogot here.
Shewoul dprocessitonceshewashomeal one, she
deci
ded, l
ocatinghersmall,
sli
ngbagwhi l
eRaj i
v
spokei
nanot
herlanguaget
osomeoneonhi
s
phonei
nthebedr
oom.

Itsoundedli
kebusinessand,eventuall
y,heended
thecallandexi
tedthebedroom,bar ef
oot,but
wearingthesamejeansandshi r
t,nowbut toned
almosttothetop.

Hel ookedstunnedatthesi
ghtofherst
andi
ngthere
withherjacketonandherbagoverhershoul
der.
“Youneedt oleavenow?”

Shewast witchy,
fil
ledwithanxiety,needi
ngtoget
thisoveranddoneasqui cklyaspossi bl
e.“I
’
m
start
inganewj obtomor r
ow, Raj.Ineedtogohome
andgetmyheadt ogether.
”

Hislookofdef
eatwasalmosttoomucht
obear
.
“Okay,l
etmejustgetmyjacket
.”
“Youdon’thavetocomedownwi thme. ”She’dbeen
expect
inghimt osaygoodbyehereatthedoorand
nowhewaspr olongi
ngi
t.Mayabreatheddeeply,
desper
atetogetaway.“Reall
y,Raj
,l
et’sjustsay
goodbyehere.”

Heturnedatthebedroom door.“I
’m wal
kingyou
home,Maya.”Hiseyeswer eshutter
ed.“
Don’tworr
y.
I’
m notaski
ngyoutoi nvi
temei n.Ij
ustwantto
walkwithyou.”

Mayafor
cedhersel
ftocontr
olt
heagit
ati
onof
want
ingtoescape,
taki
nglongdeepbr
eaths,
whi
le
hewentt
ogethi sj
acket
.

Bytheti
mehereturned,weari
ngaleatherjacket
,
unzi
pped,andl
ookingruggedl
ysexy,allshecould
dowasgazeatthisgorgeousmale,andwonderi f
shewascrazyt
or efusehi
m.
“What?”Hegrabbedhisphoneandsl
idi
tint
ohis
pocket.“
Youdon’twantmetowalkyou?Well
,tough,
’causeI’
m goi
ngt o.
”

Sheswal lowed,suddenl
yreli
evedthatshedi
dn’
t
havet osaygoodbyer i
ghtnow.Shewant edtol
ook
athim al i
tt
lemore.“No.
”Sheshookherhead.“I
wantyout owalkmehome. ”Heeyedher
suspiciouslyt
hennodded,openingthedoor.

“
Yousur
eyouhaveever
ythi
ng?
”

“
Yes.
”

Thewalkf r
om thehotelwasmai nlyi
nsil
ence.It
wasadr earyday,butwhenRajivputhisarm
aroundhershoulders,andsheslidher
sbeneat hhis
j
acket,t
hewar mthofhi sbodymadeherf eell
ikethe
sunwasshi ni
ng,butitwasapoignantpleasure.
Heaskedherhowl ongshe’dlivedinthearea.She
tol
dhim, she’dlivedther
emostofherl i
fe,point
ing
outthepar kwher esheplayedasachi l
dandt he
housewher et hescaryoldmanl i
ved,amazedt hat
hewasi nterestedinsuchtrivi
alit
iesofherli
fe.

Buthewas,gazi
ngar
oundhi
m wi
thr
ealcur
iosi
ty
andint
erest
.

Final
ly,t
heyr eachedthebott
om-fl
oor,t
hereddoor
l
eadingupt oherfl
at.Shepull
edherkeysout,
turni
ngtof acehim.“Thankyouforareall
yspeci
al
evening,Rajiv.
”

Hecuppedt hebackofherneck, beneat

hherhai
r,
and,breat
hingherin,broughthi
smout hdownto
hersinadeep,longingkiss.Mayaclungtohi
s
j
acket,for
cingherselft
oletgoassoonast heki
ss
ended.
“
Goodbye,Maya,
”hesai
d,wai
ti
ngf
orhert
oopen
t
hedoor.

Shemanaged, despit
ehershakingfi
nger
s.
“Goodbye,Raj.
”Shetri
edtosmi l
e,cl
osi
ngthedoor
tooquickl
y,astear
sfil
ledhereyes.

Byt heti
me, shereachedherbedroom thetear
s
werest r
eami ngdownherf aceandshet hr
ew
herselfont
oherbed, thanki
ngGodt hatJosiewasn’
t
there.

ShethoughtaboutwhatRaj
ivhadsai
daboutlove,
remi
ndinghersel
fthatt
hemandidnotbel
ievein
l
ove.

Andifwhatshewasfeel
ingnowhadanyt
hingt
odo
wit
hlove,
shewantednoneofit
.
Cur
lingupli
keawoundedani
mal,Mayasobbed,
the
pai
neat i
ngi
ntoherst
omachandchest
,makingi
t
di
ff
icultt
obreat
he.

Alongti
melater
,shef
oundsomet i
ssues,
clear
ing
herbl
ockednoseandrubbi
ngherswoll
eneyes.

Takingadeepbreat
h,shet
urnedoverandst
aredup
atthecei
li
ng.Shehadtodeci
dewhattowearto
worktomorrow.

*
**

Raji
vwal kedawayf rom herbuil
ding,lookingupat
theovercastsky,t
ryingtoimaginehi sli
fewi t
hout
Mayai nit.Hesearchedforsomet hinggood,
posi
tive,t
oholdont o,butther
ewasnot hing.

Notevent
her
emi
nderofhi
sbr
other
’snew-
found
happi
nesscoul
dli
fthi
smood.

Hecl enchedhi sfi

stsi
nhispockets,recall
ingt
he
fi
rsttimehe’dmetheratt hetr
ainstation,whenhe’
d
beli
evednot hingcouldmakehim happi ert
han
seeinghisbr otherr
ecover
edfrom thatdark,
depression,buthe’dbeenwrong.Rightnow,
nothingseemedt omatter
.

Justlikethegrayskyabovehim, t
her
ewasnosi gn
ofsunl i
ghttobeseen.Mayastaredatt
hebedsi de
clock—almosttwelve.Thecurt
ainsweresti
lldrawn,
j
ustt hebedside-
lampon, l
eavi
ngherfeel
inglike
theywer ecocoonedintheir

ownlit
tl
euni
ver
se,
butthewor
ldout
sidewasstil
l
ti
cki
ngover–andsoonshewoul
dhavetoleave.

Af
tercar
ryi
ngherint
othebedr
oom, Raj
ivhadt
aken
hi
stime,
makinglong,l
azyl
ovetoher,l
ayi
ngback
andal lowinghert ostraddlehi sthighsanddo
exactlywhatshewant edwi thhim.Thi swasasnew
tohi m asi twast oher, whichhadgi venheranext r
a
boostofconf i
dence.Andshe’ dt akenfulladvantage
ofit,l
ovi ngthewayhi seyesgl i
tteredwith
newf ounddesi reasshet easedandt ormentedhi m.
Evengoi ngasf arastot ouchandcar essher self
l
ikeshehadi nLondon, revell
ingi nhiscrazed
response.Fi nall
yhe’df li
ppedheront oherbackand
driveni ntoherwi thuncont roll
edpassi on,leaving
herdr enchedi npleasur eandf eelingli
keawi ld
tempt ress, j
ustbeginni ngtobecomeawar eofher
ownpowert opl easehi m andher sel
f.

Raji
vwasdozi ngbesi deher,onehandr est
ingon
herbell
y,hi
slegt hrownoverher s,hol
dingherclose
betweenhisthighs.Shesi ghedheavi l
y,aholl
ow
feel
ing,whi
chwasn’ thunger,settl
ingbeneathhi
s
warm hand,deepi nsideofher .Sheneededt oget
up,haveashower ,andgetreadyt oleave.Thei
r
ti
mei nthi
ssweet ,sultr
ylit
tl
euni versewasaboutt o
comet oanend.
Shi
ft
ingher
sel
fsl
owl
y,shet
ri
ednott
owakehi
m up.

Heli
ft
edhi
shead,
eyesbl
ueandal
ert
.“Wher
ear
e
yougoi
ng?
”

Damn, she’
dhopedshecoul dhavehershower
beforewakinghim.“Ineedtoshower,Raj.”Hesi
tant
,
l
oathet obri
ngupthesubject,
shef or
cedher sel
fto
move.Hi sgri
pti
ghtened.Shesighed.“Ineedto
startget
ti
ngready.I
t’sget
ti
nglate.
”

Hereyeswi
denedashesworecrudel
y.I
tsti
ll
sur
pri
sedherwhenhedi
dthat,
butsheknewhe
onl
ysworewhenhewasreal
lyangryorupset
.

“I
sitbecauseofthebr
uises,becauseoft
herough
sex?Isthatwhyyoudon’twantmeanymor e?
”
“Ofcoursenot!YouknowIlovehowyoumakeme
feel
,”shesaid,
stil
ltooshyt
oputint
owordst
hefact
thatsheloveditwhenhebecamewildandl
ost
controldur
ingsex.

Desper
ateeyessearchedherface.“I
t’
sJay,
isn’
tit
?
He’
swar nedyouagainstbei
ngwi t
hme? ”

“Jay?
”Mayafrownedupathi
m.“
Jaydoesn’
tknow
aboutus,
doeshe?”

Heshuthi
seyes,
shaki
nghi
shead.“
No.
”

“
Thenwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”

“I
t’
sjust—Iknowhewoul
dn’tapprove.Myi
ntent
ions
notbeinghonor
abl
eandallthat
.”
“
Howdoyoumean?
”

“Youknow.Thefactt
hatIcan’
tofferyoumarr
iage.
Thateventual
lyI
’
m goi
ngtomar r
yanI ndi
an
woman. ”

Herhear
ttor
e.“
Itol
dyouIdon’
twantmar
ri
age!
”

“
Thenwhy?Whydon’
tyouwantt
obewi
thme?
”

Mayadr aggedherselfawayfrom hi
m, gotoutof
bed,pull
edont herobe—whichwasst rewnacr oss
thebott
om oft hebed—andtieditwit
ht r
embling
hands.“BecauseifIstaywit
hyou, I
’
llendupget ting
myhear tbroken,t
hat’
swhy.”There,she’
dsaidi t,
to
hersel
fandt ohim,fi
nall
y.

Hesatfor
ward,kneesbent
,andrakedbothhands
t
hroughhishai
r,pul
li
ngatitwi
thtensef
inger
s.He
seemedatal ossforwordsforachange,
andMaya
walkedtowardtheen-sui
tebathr
oom,unabl
eto
facehim anylonger
.

“Wait
!”Shetur
nedroundslowl
y,stari
ngatapoint
abovehishead.“
Yousaidyoudidn’twant
marri
age.”Thewordsweretor
nfrom him.“Yousai
d
youdidn’
tevenbeli
evei
nmar r
iage.

Sowhati
sityouwantf
rom me?Tel
lmewhatt
o
do.
”

Sheshookherheadi ndef eat,notknowi ngthe

answerher self
.“Ijustwant —need—t ogetonwi th
myl if
e,Raji
v,”shesai d,f
inally.“Thisaffai
rwasnot
meantt olast.I
t’
sbeencr azy—andwonder ful—but
i
tsr unit
scour se.Itneedst oend, now,t
oday.We
bothhavet ogetonwi thourl ives.Istar
twor king
tomor r
ow.I’vetoldyout hisbef oreandyouknow
I’
mr ight
.Wecan’ talwaysgetwhatwewant .So
please—”Finallyshel ower edhergazeandst ared
i
ntohisdespairi
ng,beaut
if
ulblueeyes.“ Let’
snot
endthi
sbadly.Icouldn’
tbearthat.Let’
sbehavelike
sensi
ble,r
esponsibl
eadultsandsaygoodbye
wit
houtanyani mosit
yorrecri
minat i
ons.Let’swi
sh
eachotherwellandgooursepar ateways. ”

*
**

Raji
vwasnoti nt hebedr
oom whenMayareturned
from hershower,butshecoul
dhearhi
mtalkingin
themai nroom andwasn’tsur
eifhewasonthe
phoneorwi thsomeone.

Shewasdryi
ngherhairwiththepowerful
,hot
el
hai
rdr
yerwhenheentered,cl
osingthedoorbehi
nd
hi
m.Mayaswi t
chedoffthehair
dryer.

“Thecleani
ngst af
fishere.
”Therewasaguarded,
almostformaltonetohisvoice.“
CanIor
deryou
somebr unch.Youmustbehungr y.
”
Thet houghtoff oodleftherfeeli
ngillandshef el
t
meanr efusi
nghi soffer,
butshehadt opreparefor
workt omor rowandi twasget t
inglate.“Thankyou,
Rajiv,butI’mr eall
ynothungr y.”Shel ookedint
ohis
grave,blueeyes, notwant i
nganypr etencebetween
them.“ I’
m afraidIcoul dn’
teatanythingr i
ghtnow.”

He’dputonapai roff
adedbluej eanswithanI ndian
coll
arlessshi
rtopenhalf-waydownhi sdar k-
ski
nnedchestandMaya’ sheartmel t
ed.Hest i
ll
hadn’tshaved,hishai
rwasmessyf r
om theirlove-
making, andi
twashar dtobelieveshewoul dnotbe
seei
ngt hi
sgorgeouscreatur
e,whost il
lwant edher,
again.

Her
aisedhi
sdar
kbr
ows,
hopef
ull
y.“
Cof
fee?
”

Mayasmi
led,
tryi
ngtokeepthi
ngsupbeat
.“Cof
fee
woul
dbel
ovely,t
hankyou.
”
Hel
eftt
her
oom asi
feagerf
orsomet
hingt
odo.

Bythet
imeshel
eftt
hebedroom,
Maya’
shai
rwas
dr
yandshewasdressed.

Althoughshefel
tover-
dressedfordayt
ime,shewas
simplytoonumbt ocar
e.Herjacketwasinthemain
room, buti
twaswarm andcomf ort
ableenough
withoutit
.

Gazinglongingl
yatt hestatelybedroom and
tumbledbedf orthelastti
me, sheenteredthemai n
room withasmuchcal m asshecoul dmust er.
Besidesthecoffee,ther
ewer ewar m cr
oissants,
bowlsofcur l
ybut t
er,aselectionofcheeses, aswell
asmar maladeandconser ves, al
lsetoutont he
coff
ee-tabl
e.Rajivstoodup, takingherhand, and
drewherdownt ositbesidehi m onthedar k,l
eather
chester
fiel
d.Hepassedheral argecupof ,fr
othy
cof
fee.

“Pl
easeeatsomet
hing,
Maya,”hesaid.“It
’saf
ter
oneandyouhaven’
teatensi
ncelastnight.
”

“
Okay.
”

Shesmi l
ed,surpr
isedthatthemouth-water
ingsmell
offr
eshlybakedcr oi
ssantslef
therfeeli
ngli
keshe
couldeatali
ttl
e.Thecoffeewasdelicious,
aswas
thecroi
ssant,whi
chshehadwi thgr
atedcheddar
cheese.Somehowhermoodhadl i
ft
edandshe
wasn’tabouttoquesti
onit.

“Soyou’
rest
art
ingwor
ktomorrow?”heasked,
as
shebiti
ntot
hewarm,f
lakycr
oissant
.

“
Yes,
andI
’
m abi
tner
vousabouti
t,
”sheadmi
tt
ed.
“They’
reluckytohaveyou,Maya.”Hi
seyeswere
seri
ous.“Beli
eveme,asanempl oyer
,Iknowyou’
l
l
excelatwhateveryouputyourmindto.
”

Hesoundedsoear nestthatshealmostbel i
eved
him.Shewaspassi onat
eaboutt hisj
obandshe
wouldputeveryt
hingint
oi t
.“Thankyou, Raj,
as
someonewhoempl oys—”Shepaused, r
oll
ingher
eyes.“
—thousandsofpeopl e,yourbel
iefinme
meansalot.”

Raj
ivdrankthr
eecupsofcof f
eeandwat ched
i
ndulgentl
ywhil
eshef ini
shedof fwhatwasonher
pl
ate.Theyspokeofuni mportantthi
ngs, l
ikethi
s
hot
el t
hathe’
dstayedatbef ore,andhisprevious
vi
sit
stoEdinburgh.He’dvisi
tedqui t
eaf ewt i
mes
whil
eJaywasst udyinghere,whi chsurpri
sedher.

Tot hi
nkt
hathe’dbeenhere,
at went
yminutewalk
fr
om herhome,maybethey’devenpassedeach
otheront
hestreet
sofEdinburgh.Hecaressedher
wit
hhi seyesandpulledherhairbacksot hathe
coul
dwat chherwhilesheate,brushingacr umb
fr
om thecornerofhermouthandl ickingitoffhi
s
fi
nger.Itwasal
lveryinti
mate,buteventuall
yhadt o
end.Shecouldn’
tcont i
nuetostal
lanyl onger.

“
Doyoubel
ievei
nlove?
”heasked.

Mayaal
mostdr
oppedt
hecof
feecup.

“
Imeanbei
ngi
nlove,
li
keSanj
ayandKur
t.
”

Shesetthecupdown,heri
nsidesbegi nningto
quake.“
Idon’
tknow,
”shelied.“Ibel
ievein
l
ove—lovingmymother,myfather,myf r
iends.
”She
tookadeepbreat
h.“
Doyou? ”

Hescratchedhi
shead,fr
owni
ng.“Idon’
tthi
nkso.I
neverhave,r
eal
ly,
”heanswer
edthought
full
y.“
Like
yousaid,Il
ovemymot herandmybrother,but
Sanjaykeepstalki
ngaboutsoul
-mates.”Hi
smout h
fl
att
ened.Hedi dn’
tsoundconvi
nced.“Idon’tknow.
”

“
SowhataboutJayandKurt?”Shehadt
oknow.
“
Youdon’
tthi
nkthey’
rei
nlove.”

“Oh,t
hey’r
ei nlust
.”Hissmilewasknowi
ng,
suggest
ive.“Liketeenager
s.ButIt
hinkt
hatwi
ll
event
uall
yf ade.”

Andus,areweinlust?Mayacl
enchedhert
eet
h,he
soundedsocynical
.“Ar
eyousayi
ngyouthi
nk
they’
l
levent
ual
lybreak-
up?”

Heseemedt osuddenlyr
eali
sewhathewassaying,
andshookhi shead.“
Whoknows?Anythi
ng’
s
possi
ble,
right?
”Shekeptqui
et,
toodi
stur
bedto
answer.
“It
hinkmygr andparent
sr eal
lyl
ovedeachot her,
”he
conti
nued,andMayast aredathimi nsurpr
ise.He’d
nevermentionedhisgrandparentsbefor
e.“My
maternalgr
andparents,
”heclarif
ied.“
Theyalways
seemedsohappy, contentwithother.
”

“
Aret
heyst
il
lal
ive?
”

“Mygrandmot
heri
s,
”heanswer
ed.“
Mygr
andf
ather
died

notlongaft
ermyf at
her.Shewasdevast
ated,my
grandmother,
whenhedi ed.Andyett
hei
rswasan
arrangedmarri
age.Theyhardl
ykneweachother
,
andt heywer
esoyoung.It hi
nkshewasabout
fi
fteenwhentheymar r
ied.

“
Fif
teen!
”Mayaknewt hi
smusthavebeenal
ong
t
imeago,butst
il
l—f
if
teen?
Hesmi l
edathershockedout burst.“Thatwasthe
nor mint hosedays, andit
’ssti
llquit
ecommon
today.Nott hatIagr eewit
hit.
”Her eachedoutand
strokedherst ocking-cl
adleg,j
ustbel owthehem of
herdr ess.“Buttheywer ethehappiestcoupleI’
ve
everseenandt heywer emar r
iedforaboutfif
ty
years.”

Shecoveredhi
shandwhenhisfi
nger
sbegan
makingthei
rwaybeneat
hthedr
ess.“
Sowherei
s
shenow? ”

Hesmi l
edatherdi vert
ingt acti
cs.“Sheli
vesinDelhi
,
abeauti
ful,col
onialhousei nOl dDelhi
.Itr
yt osee
herwheneverItraveltoI ndia.
”Hisexpression
changed.“You’
dr eall
ylikeher .She’
saver y
speci
all
ylady.”

*
**
Itwasaftertwobyt heti
meshewasr eadytoleave.
Theirconversati
onaboutloveandhisgrandmot her
haddisturbedher,butshedidn’
twanttogot here.
Shewoul dprocessitonceshewashomeal one, she
deci
ded, l
ocatinghersmall,
sli
ngbagwhi l
eRaj i
v
spokeinanot herl
anguagetosomeoneonhi s
phoneint hebedroom.

Itsoundedli
kebusinessand,eventuall
y,heended
thecallandexi
tedthebedroom,bar ef
oot,but
wearingthesamejeansandshi r
t,nowbut toned
almosttothetop.

Hel ookedstunnedatthesi
ghtofherst
andi
ngthere
withherjacketonandherbagoverhershoul
der.
“Youneedt oleavenow?”

Shewast witchy,
fil
ledwithanxiety,needi
ngtoget
thisoveranddoneasqui cklyaspossi bl
e.“I
’
m
start
inganewj obtomor r
ow, Raj.Ineedtogohome
andgetmyheadt ogether.
”
Hislookofdef
eatwasalmosttoomucht
obear
.
“Okay,l
etmejustgetmyjacket
.”

“Youdon’thavetocomedownwi thme. ”She’dbeen

expect
inghimt osaygoodbyehereatthedoorand
nowhewaspr olongi
ngi
t.Mayabreatheddeeply,
desper
atetogetaway.“Reall
y,Raj
,l
et’sjustsay
goodbyehere.”

Heturnedatthebedroom door.“I
’m wal
kingyou
home,Maya.”Hiseyeswer eshutter
ed.“
Don’tworr
y.
I’
m notaski
ngyoutoi nvi
temei n.Ij
ustwantto
walkwithyou.”

Mayafor
cedhersel
ftocontr
olt
heagit
ati
onof
want
ingtoescape,
taki
nglongdeepbr
eaths,
whi
le
hewentt
ogethi sj
acket
.

Byt
het
imeher
etur
ned,
wear
ingal
eat
herj
acket
,
unzi
pped,
andlooki
ngruggedl
ysexy,al
lshecoul
d
dowasgazeatthi
sgorgeousmale,andwonderi
f
shewascrazyt
orefusehi
m.

“What?”Hegrabbedhisphoneandsl
idi
tint
ohis
pocket.“
Youdon’twantmetowalkyou?Well
,tough,
’causeI’
m goi
ngt o.
”

Sheswal lowed,suddenl
yreli
evedthatshedi
dn’
t
havet osaygoodbyer i
ghtnow.Shewant edtol
ook
athim al i
tt
lemore.“No.
”Sheshookherhead.“I
wantyout owalkmehome. ”Heeyedher
suspiciouslyt
hennodded,openingthedoor.

“
Yousur
eyouhaveever
ythi
ng?
”

“
Yes.
”

Thewal
kfr
om t
hehot
elwasmai
nlyi
nsi
lence.I
t
wasadr ear
yday,butwhenRajivputhi
sarm
aroundhershoul
ders,andshesli
dhersbeneathhis
j
acket,t
hewar mt
hofhi sbodymadeherfeell
ikethe
sunwasshining,
butitwasapoignantpl
easure.

Heaskedherhowl ongshe’dlivedinthearea.She
tol
dhim, she’dlivedther
emostofherl i
fe,point
ing
outthepar kwher esheplayedasachi l
dandt he
housewher et hescaryoldmanl i
ved,amazedt hat
hewasi nterestedinsuchtrivi
alit
iesofherli
fe.

Buthewas,gazi
ngar
oundhi
m wi
thr
ealcur
iosi
ty
andint
erest
.

Final
ly,t
heyr eachedthebott
om-fl
oor,t
hereddoor
l
eadingupt oherfl
at.Shepull
edherkeysout,
turni
ngtof acehim.“Thankyouforareall
yspeci
al
evening,Rajiv.
”

Hecuppedt
hebackofherneck,
beneat
hherhai
r,
and,breat
hingherin,broughthi
smouthdownto
hersinadeep,longingkiss.Mayacl
ungtohi
s
j
acket,for
cingherselft
oletgoassoonastheki
ss
ended.

“
Goodbye,Maya,
”hesai
d,wai
ti
ngf
orhert
oopen
t
hedoor.

Shemanaged, despit
ehershakingfi
nger
s.
“Goodbye,Raj.
”Shetri
edtosmi l
e,cl
osi
ngthedoor
tooquickl
y,astear
sfil
ledhereyes.

Byt heti
me, shereachedherbedroom thetear
s
werest r
eami ngdownherf aceandshet hr
ew
herselfont
oherbed, thanki
ngGodt hatJosiewasn’
t
there.

ShethoughtaboutwhatRaj
ivhadsai
daboutlove,
remi
ndinghersel
fthatt
hemandidnotbel
ievein
l
ove.
Andifwhatshewasfeel
ingnowhadanyt
hingt
odo
wit
hlove,
shewantednoneofit
.

Cur
lingupli
keawoundedani
mal,Mayasobbed,
the
pai
neat i
ngi
ntoherst
omachandchest
,makingi
t
di
ff
icultt
obreat
he.

Alongti
melater
,shef
oundsomet i
ssues,
clear
ing
herbl
ockednoseandrubbi
ngherswoll
eneyes.

Takingadeepbreat
h,shet
urnedoverandst
aredup
atthecei
li
ng.Shehadtodeci
dewhattowearto
worktomorrow.

*
**

Raj
ivwalkedawayf r
om herbui
ldi
ng,
looki
ngupat
t
heovercastsky,
tryi
ngtoimaginehi
sli
fewit
hout
Mayainit
.Hesear
chedforsomethi
nggood,
posi
ti
ve,
tohol
donto,butt
herewasnot
hing.

Noteventher
eminderofhi
sbrot
her
’snew-
found
happi
nesscoul
dli
fthismood.

Hecl enchedhi sfi

stsi
nhispockets,recall
ingt
he
fi
rsttimehe’dmetheratt hetr
ainstation,whenhe’
d
beli
evednot hingcouldmakehim happi ert
han
seeinghisbr otherr
ecover
edfrom thatdark,
depression,buthe’dbeenwrong.Rightnow,
nothingseemedt omatter
.

Justl
ikethegrayskyabovehi
m,t
her
ewasnosi
gn
ofsunli
ghttobeseen.

TheEnd