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Understanding Dying, Death, and

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Understanding Dying, Death, and Bereavement

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Understanding Dying,
Death, and Bereavement
NINTH EDITION

Michael R. Leming
St. Olaf College

George E. Dickinson
College of Charleston

Australia ● Brazil ● Mexico ● Singapore ● United Kingdom ● United States

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Understanding Dying, Death, and © 2020, 2016, 2011 Cengage Learning, Inc.
Bereavement, Ninth Edition
Michael R. Leming Unless otherwise noted, all content is © Cengage

George E. Dickinson
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Contents

About the Authors xv

Preface xvii

CHAPTER 1 Studying Dying, Death, and Bereavement 1


Current Interest in Death and Dying 3
Why the Increased Interest? 4
The Mystery of Death 4
Terrorism 5
Ethical Issues 7
Popular Culture 8
Death Education 12
Thanatology Classes 12
Thanatology Publications 13
Mortality Statistics 15
Death Etiology and Life Expectancy 16
Gender Differences in Mortality Rates 21
Approaches to the Study of Dying and Death 22
The Biological Approach 23
The Psychological Approach 23
The Philosophical Approach 24
The Anthropological Approach 25
The Sociological Approach 25
Structural-Functional Theory 26
Conflict Theory 28
v

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vi Contents

Social Exchange Theory 29


Symbolic Interaction Theory 30
Conclusion 33
Summary 34
Discussion Questions 34
Suggested Readings 35

CHAPTER 2 The American Experience of Death 37


Defining Death 39
International Definitions 40
American Definitions 41
The Meaning of Dying and Death 44
Deriving Meaning from the Audience 45
Deriving Meaning from the Situation 46
Death as a Lost Relationship 46
Creating and Changing Death-Related Meaning 48
The American Experience of Death 49
Living Death (1600–1830) 49
The Dying of Death (1830–1945) 50
The Resurrection of Death (1945–the Present) 51
Contemporary Attitudes Toward Death 54
Denial or Acceptance of Death? 54
Fearing Death? 58
Content of Death Fears 61
Death Fears 61
Relieving Death Anxiety Through Religion 63
Contemplating One’s Own Death 64
Conclusion 66
Summary 66
Discussion Questions 67
Suggested Readings 68

CHAPTER 3 Growing Up with Death/Growing Old with Death 69


Childhood 71
How Do Children Learn About Death? 71
Personal Experiences 73
Mass Media 74
Religion 77
Children’s Understanding of Death 78
Birth to Age Three 78
Ages Three Through Five 80
Ages Six to Twelve 80
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Contents vii

Explaining Death and Dying to Children 83


Be Honest and Open 84
Avoid Euphemisms 84
Show Emotion 86
Adolescence 88
Identity Crisis and Death Anxiety 89
Media Influences 90
Learning Adult Rituals 91
Communicating About Death 92
Adulthood 93
Young Adulthood 94
Middle-Aged Adulthood 94
Panic and Denial 95
Reflection and Acceptance 96
Personal Growth 96
Older Adulthood 97
Achieving Integrity 99
Diminishing Death Fears 100
Choosing a Place to Die 103
Conclusion 104
Summary 105
Discussion Questions 105
Suggested Readings 106

CHAPTER 4 Perspectives on Death and Life After Death 107


The Need to Look Beyond Death 108
Diversity in Perspectives 110
Cross-Cultural Views 110
Religious Interpretations of Death 112
Judaism 113
Christianity 115
Islam 115
Hinduism 117
Buddhism 118
Temporal Interpretations of Death 121
Symbolic Immortality 122
Near-Death Experiences 125
Defining a Near-Death Experience 125
Explaining Near-Death Experiences 127
Conclusion 128
Summary 129
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viii Contents

Discussion Questions 130


Suggested Readings 130

CHAPTER 5 The Dying Process 131


Death Meanings 133
Time Meanings: Dealing with the Prognosis 133
Space Meanings: Isolation and Confinement 136
Norm and Role Meanings: Expected Dying Behavior 138
Value Meanings: Reassessing the Value of Life and Death 139
Object and Self-Meanings: Accepting the Self as Terminal 139
Detachment from the Living 140
Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Dying 141
Social Situation Meanings: Definition of the Environment 144
Relating to the Dying Person 145
Medical Personnel 145
The Socialization of Physicians 146
Awareness Contexts 150
Family and Friends 150
The Stress of Dealing with a Dying Family Member 152
Helping Children Cope with a Dying Parent 154
Dying with Dignity 154
The Dying Child 157
Relating to the Dying Child 157
Helping the Child Cope with Dying 158
Parents of the Dying Child 160
Siblings of the Dying Child 161
Conclusion 163
Summary 164
Discussion Questions 164
Suggested Readings 165

CHAPTER 6 Living with Dying 167


Understanding and Coping with the Illness 169
The Loss of Physical Functions 169
The Loss of Mental Capacity 170
Dying of Cancer and Heart Disease 170
Cancer 170
Heart Disease 173
Treatment Options 173
Evaluating Treatment Options and Symptoms 173
Treating Drug Side Effects 175
Pain and Symptom Management 176
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Contents ix

Pain Management 178


Managing Dehydration 180
Organ Transplantations 181
Palliative Care 184
The Hospice Movement 186
The Hospice Team 188
The Patient–Family as the Unit of Care 192
The Cost of Hospice Care 193
Public Attitudes 195
Conclusion 197
Summary 198
Discussion Questions 199
Suggested Readings 199

CHAPTER 7 Dying in the American Health Care System 201


The Medical Model Approach to Dying 202
Dying as Deviance in the Medical Setting 203
Labeling Theory 203
Deviance Results in Punishment 204
Normalization of Dying in the Medical Setting 205
Dying in a Technological Society 206
The Environment of the Dying Person 208
Hospital 208
Home 209
Nursing Home 210
Hospice Inpatient Care 211
End-of-Life Education in Medical and Nursing Schools 213
Gross Anatomy Lab in Medical Schools 214
Developing a Sensitivity to Social and Psychological Needs 216
Developing Communication Skills 216
The Cost of Dying 219
Conclusion 222
Suggested Research Topics Related to End-of-Life Issues 222
Summary 222
Discussion Questions 223
Suggested Readings 223

CHAPTER 8 Biomedical Issues and Euthanasia 225


Ethical Behavior 227
What Is Ethical Behavior? 227
Bioethicists 228
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x Contents

Use of the Body in Medical Research and Training 230


Organ Transplantation 231
Euthanasia 235
Sanctity-of-Life versus Quality-of-Life Debate 236
Sanctity-of-Life View 236
Quality-of-Life View 236
The Right to Die 237
Passive Euthanasia 240
Distinguishing between Ordinary and Extraordinary Measures 240
Nutrition and Hydration 241
CPR Versus DNR 242
Active Euthanasia 243
The Slippery-Slope Argument 245
Physician-Assisted Death 246
Conclusion 249
Summary 250
Discussion Questions 250
Suggested Readings 251

CHAPTER 9 Suicide and Other Sudden, Unnatural Traumatic Deaths 253


Changing Attitudes Toward Suicide 254
The Stigma of Suicide 255
Defining Suicidal Acts 257
Social Factors Involved in Suicide 258
Age, Gender, Region, and Marital Status 258
Socioeconomic and Cultural Factors 259
Opioids and suicide 262
Theoretical Perspectives on Suicide 263
Durkheim’s Theory 264
Conflict Theory 265
Dramaturgical Perspective 265
Existentialist Perspective 266
Psychological Perspective 266
Critical Sociology 267
Suicide Through the Life Cycle 267
Childhood Suicide 267
Adolescent Suicide 268
Warning Signs of Suicide 270
Explaining Adolescent Suicide 270
The Internet, Hotlines, and Suicide 272
College-Aged Students and Suicide 274
Middle-Aged Suicide 275
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Contents xi

Older Adult Suicide 276


Causes of Suicide 278
Copycat Suicides and the Media 279
Rational Suicide 281
Other Sudden, Unnatural, Traumatic Deaths 283
Homicide 283
Accidental Deaths 287
Conclusion 289
Summary 290
Discussion Questions 291
Suggested Readings 291

CHAPTER 10 Diversity in Death Rituals 293


Understanding Death Rituals 294
Death Rituals as a Rite of Passage 294
Structural-Functional Explanations 296
Mourning Behaviors 298
Changes in Mourning Behaviors in the United States 300
Gender Differences in Mourning Behaviors 303
Customs at Death 304
Norms Prior to Death 304
Preparing the Corpse 305
Cleaning, Decorating, and Clothing the Body 306
Embalming 307
Final Disposition 311
Earth Burial 311
Cremation 312
Influence of Social Position and Gender on Death-Related
Behaviors and Rituals 314
Death Rituals of Major Religious Groups 316
Jewish Customs 317
Christianity 317
Hinduism 319
Buddhism 320
Islam 322
Conclusion 323
Summary 323
Discussion Questions 324
Suggested Readings 324

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xii Contents

CHAPTER 11 The Business of Dying 327


The Business of Preparing the Dead 328
The Changing American Funeral 328
The Puritan Funeral 328
The Victorian Funeral 329
The Contemporary American Funeral: Meeting the Needs of the
Bereaved 332
The American Practice of Funeral Service 335
Education and Licensure 335
The Role of the Funeral Director 337
Funeral Expenses 337
Pricing Systems 338
Alternatives to the Funeral 341
New Trends in Funeral Service 345
Preneed Funerals: A “New” Trend in Planning Funerals 345
Aftercare: The Future Business Is to Be Found in Today’s
Customers 345
Funeral Services on the Internet 347
The Business of Burying the Dead 348
The Changing American Cemetery 348
The Puritan Cemetery 349
The City Garden Cemetery 349
The Rural Cemetery 350
The Lawn Park Cemetery 352
Graveyard Symbols of Death 353
Cemeteries Today 354
The Government Cemetery 355
The Not-for-Profit Cemetery 356
The For-Profit Cemetery 357
Conclusion 357
Summary 358
Discussion Questions 358
Suggested Readings 359

CHAPTER 12 The Legal Aspects of Dying 361


Establishing the Cause of Death 363
Death Certificate 363
Autopsy 366
Coroners and Medical Examiners 370
Advance Directives 371
Living Wills 371
Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care 372
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Contents xiii

Life Insurance 373


Life Insurance as Protection 375
Life Insurance as an Investment 375
Long-Term Care Insurance 376
Inheritance and Wills 376
Intestate and Inheritance 376
Wills 378
Holographic Wills 380
Probate 380
Conclusion 381
Summary 381
Discussion Questions 381
Suggested Readings 382

CHAPTER 13 Coping with Loss 383


The Bereavement Role 384
The Grieving Process 384
Normal and Abnormal Grief 386
Stages of Grief 389
Shock and Denial 389
Disorganization 389
Volatile Reactions 389
Guilt 390
Loss and Loneliness 391
Relief 391
Reestablishment 391
Disenfranchised Grief 393
Assisting the Bereaved 394
Practical Matters 396
The Art of Condolence 396
Coping with Sudden Death 396
Accidents 397
Disasters 399
Recovering from Tsunami or Typhoon 400
Murder 401
War 402
Conclusion 403
Summary 404
Discussion Questions 405
Suggested Readings 405

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xiv Contents

CHAPTER 14 Grieving Throughout the Life Cycle 407


Grieving Parents and the Loss of a Child 408
The Loss of a Fetus or an Infant 408
Fetal Death 410
Perinatal Death 411
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome 416
The Loss of a Child 418
The Loss of an Adult Child 419
Grieving Children and Adolescents 419
Loss of a Parent 420
Loss of a Sibling 421
Loss of a Grandparent 421
Grieving Adults 422
Loss of a Spouse 422
Loss of a Parent 422
Loss of a Pet 423
Dying, Death, and Bereavement in the 21St Century:
A Challenge 425
Conclusion 426
Summary 426
Discussion Questions 427
Suggested Readings 427

References 429
Glossary 461
Index 473

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About the Authors

Michael R. Leming is professor emeritus of sociology and anthro-


pology at St. Olaf College in Minnesota, and past co-director of
the Spring Semester in Thailand. He holds degrees from Westmont
College (B.A.), Marquette University (M.A.), and the University of
Utah (Ph.D.) and has done additional graduate study at the
University of California at Santa Barbara.
He is co-editor (with George E. Dickinson) of Annual Edi-
tions: Dying, Death, and Bereavement, 15th ed. (McGraw-Hill,
2017) and co-author of Understanding Families: Diversity, Conti-
nuity, and Change (Allyn & Bacon, 1990; Harcourt Brace, 1995).
He is also co-editor (with Raymond DeVries and Brendan Furnish)
of The Sociological Perspective: A Value-Committed Introduc-
tion (Zondervan, 1989; Wipf & Stock Publishers, 2009). In 1995
he produced a documentary film, The Karen of Musikhee: Rabbits
in the Mouth of the Crocodile. His most recent film project was a
documentary film on the Karen produced by the BBC, for which
he was the chief research consultant.
Dr. Leming was the founder and former director of the St. Olaf
College Social Research Center, former member of the board of
directors of the Minnesota Coalition on Terminal Care and the
Northfield AIDS Response, and has served as a hospice educator,
volunteer, and grief counselor. He taught courses on death and dy-
ing for over 35 years. For nearly 20 years he directed The Spring
Semester in Thailand program, which is affiliated with Chiang
Mai University. He lives in Thailand during Minnesota’s coldest
months.
xv

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xvi About the Authors

George E. Dickinson, professor of sociology at the College of


Charleston, South Carolina, received his degrees from Baylor
University (B.A. in biology and M.A. in sociology) and Louisiana
State University (Ph.D. in sociology, minor in anthropology). He
has completed postdoctoral studies in gerontology at Pennsylva-
nia State University, thanatology at the University of Kentucky
School of Medicine, and medical sociology at the University of
Connecticut. He was a visiting research fellow in palliative medi-
cine at the University of Sheffield’s School of Medicine in England
in 1999, the International Observatory on End of Life Care in the
Institute for Health Research at Lancaster University in England
in 2006, and the University of Bristol School of Veterinary Science’s
Department of Animal Behavior and Welfare in England in 2013.
Prior to coming to the College of Charleston in 1985, he taught in
Pennsylvania, Minnesota, and Kentucky.
He has published over 100 articles in professional journals, pri-
marily on end-of-life issues, and has co-authored other books with
Michael Leming, as noted above. Additionally, with Brenda Sanders,
he published Aging in the Family (Taylor & Francis Publishers,
2019). He has been teaching courses on death and dying for 45 years
and has been actively involved as a hospice educator. Dr. Dickinson
is on the international editorial board of Mortality (UK) and on the
editorial review board of the American Journal of Hospice &
Palliative Medicine. He received the South Carolina Governor’s
Distinguished Professor Awards in 2003 and 2008 and was the
recipient of the 2009 Death Educator Award from the Association of
Death Education and Counseling. More recently, in 2018, he was the
first recipient of the REACH program’s Professor Recognition Award
at the College of Charleston and was awarded the Distinguished
Teacher-Scholar Award in 2002 and the Distinguished Research
Award in 2008, also at the College of Charleston.

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Preface

Why Did We Write a Book on Death and Dying?


Back in the early 1970s, following a Nobel Conference at Gustavus Adolphus College in
St. Peter, Minnesota, entitled “The End of Life,” George Dickinson’s cultural anthropol-
ogy students began writing term papers on how different cultures dealt with dying,
death, and bereavement. About this same time, one of his former students, then in his
third year of medical school, stopped by the office for a visit. Dickinson naïvely asked
about the student’s death and dying course in medical school. With a somewhat bewil-
dered look on his face and a shrug of his shoulders, he replied that they did not have any-
thing like that. Would not one think that medical schools offered a course on dying and
death? Both the students’ written papers and the encounter with the medical student
sparked an interest in Dickinson’s research and teaching in the area of death and dying.
Soon thereafter, Michael Leming, a friend and former colleague who had written
his Ph.D. dissertation about terminally ill cancer patients, contacted Dickinson about
co-authoring a textbook on dying, death, and bereavement. Both were teaching death
and dying courses. There were very few texts available at the time. Leming and Dickin-
son became frustrated over a lack of reading materials appropriate for students. Thus,
the conception of this textbook back in the early 1980s came from the experience of
having limited classroom materials and from the interest and enthusiasm of students in
the topic of thanatology.

What Do We Hope to Accomplish in This Book?


It has been nearly 40 years since we began work on the first edition of Understanding
Dying, Death, and Bereavement. Our goal in the ninth edition, as in the previous
editions, has been to create a book that is both informative and practical, yet theoretical,

xvii

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xviii Preface

and a book that is reader-friendly to the students. We visualized a humanistic text that
was cross-cultural, multidisciplinary in orientation, and inclusive of the major foci of
the interdisciplinary subject of social thanatology. Indeed, many changes have occurred
in end-of-life issues since the first edition. The topic of dying, death, and bereavement
has come out of the closet and is less a taboo topic than it was in the early 1980s.
Though thanatology is not yet a household word, it is certainly better known than it
was a 40 years ago. End-of-life issues are more “in” today, especially in the context of
highly publicized and all-too-frequent school shootings, terrorist attacks in various
parts of the world, and the much-debated U.S. Affordable Care Act of the 21st century,
which was, at one juncture, falsely accused of including a measure to euthanize older
adults. Additionally, body disposition options are changing in the 21st century, as
environmentally correct ways of disposal are evolving. The current edition reflects these
changes. Specifically, we have the following objectives for this book:
1. To sensitize students to the subject of dying, death, and bereavement.
2. To aid students in adjusting to the death of a significant other.
3. To help individuals examine their own feelings and reactions to death and
grieving.
4. To make readers aware of different cultural groups’ death and bereavement
customs in America and internationally.
The ninth edition of Understanding Dying, Death, and Bereavement will equip the
reader with the necessary information to both understand and cope with the social
aspects of dying, death, and bereavement. Because we have each taught courses on
thanatology for many decades, we are convinced that every student carries both
academic and personal agendas when approaching the subject. Although every student
reading this book may not have family crises such as divorce and violence, every
individual will eventually have to deal with deaths in her or his family (if they have not
already done so). Having been exposed to the material in this text, we hope that each
student will be in a better position to cope with dying and death. One does not “get
over” the death of a significant other, like getting over the flu or a bad cold, but one
must learn to live with the fact that the individual is indeed dead and will never again
physically be with us. One of our more satisfying experiences in academia is the
occasional e-mail, letter, or phone call from a former student who shares with us the
usefulness of this book in his or her dealing with the death of a significant other. For
some, it is the benefit to themselves; and others relate how they were a good information
source and support for other family members.
This textbook will make a significant contribution to your class because it is a
proven text informed by over 80 years of combined experience of teaching and re-
searching on this topic. Understanding Dying, Death, and Bereavement, Ninth Edi-
tion is comprehensive and covers the wide range of topics in social thanatology. It is
scholarly and academically sound, and it is practical for students because it addresses
personal issues relating to an individual’s ability to cope with the social and psychological
processes of dying, death, and bereavement. The book has a strong cross-cultural
emphasis that allows one to understand both the universality of death, dying, and
bereavement and also the incredible diversity and similarity of social customs relating
to this experience. This text appeals to a vast audience, not only because of its wide
adaptability on college and university campuses, but also because of its practical
implications for all persons. Although intended primarily for undergraduate students in
sociology, psychology, anthropology, nursing, social work, kinesiology, religion,
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Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Preface xix

gerontology, health science, family studies, public health, philosophy, and education
courses, it is also appropriate for professional courses in medicine, nursing, mortuary
science, theology, social work, child life, and personal and pastoral counseling. We have
been somewhat surprised at the variety of disciplines and professional schools where
earlier editions of this book have been used, including one large business school where
the focus was on consumer efforts about dying and death.

What’s New About This Text in the 21st Century?


We have added and removed boxed inserts in the chapters but have maintained
the four box categories: (1) Practical Matters boxes basically offer practical advice;
(2) Listening to the Voices boxes consist of excerpted material from people writing
about their own experiences with dying and death; (3) Words of Wisdom boxes contain
excerpted materials—poems, literature, and other words of wisdom; and (4) Death
Across Cultures boxes examine cross-cultural examples of death practices and beliefs.
In addition to the boxes, chapter conclusions, summaries, and discussion questions at
the end of each chapter serve as study aids. A glossary appears at the end of the text
with definitions of words in bold print in the chapters. Additionally, suggested anno-
tated readings are given at the end of each chapter for additional reading if desired.
New tables have been deleted/added/updated in several chapters. Some new boxes
include the subjects of electronic cigarettes, communication with a dying child, the wis-
dom of growing old, older Chinese adults whose only child died, cross-cultural evi-
dence for near-death experiences, bureaucracy within the hospital environment, steps
toward cancer prevention, compassionate release from prison, hospice care complaints,
health care in Sweden, the U.S. market for human bodies, a good death, right to die and
death with dignity organizations in North America, car accidents, leading cause of
childhood deaths, capital punishment, visiting the grave, effective ways to dispose of a
body, the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center, bring back the autopsy, older prison
inmates’ experiences with dying, death, and grief, disenfranchised grief among lesbian
and gay bereaved individuals, research and clinical intervention with disasters and be-
reavement, easing grief through religion and spirituality, homicide and suicide of older
adults, 21st-century technology and grief support, bereavement practices following the
death of a Native American child, tattoo memorials in contemporary society, and awk-
wardness of relating to parents in Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
New material in the ninth edition includes updates of statistical material throughout
the text and new information on various topics, including opioids and suicide, critical
sociology, middle-aged suicide, the Internet, hotlines, and suicide, murder rates in U.S.
states, school shootings in the United States compared with other countries, and suicide
rates in the military related to post-traumatic stress. As in previous editions, pictures are
scattered throughout the book, though the ninth edition includes pictures in color.

Digital Resources and Supplements


The new-to-this edition MindTap digital platform offers:
●● an interactive eBook where students can highlight key text, add notes, and create
custom flashcards
●● video resources and critical thinking-style exercises that empower students
toward authentic and thoughtful learning experiences
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xx Preface

●● a digital test bank which includes 35 multiple choice plus 10 essay questions
per chapter
●● a fully mobile experience via the MindTap Mobile App, so students can read
or listen to textbooks and study with the aid of instructor notifications and
flashcards
An instructor’s manual is also available for instructors. The instructor’s manual con-
tains detailed chapter outlines and sample syllabi which list suggested class projects.

Acknowledgments
We gratefully acknowledge those who reviewed previous editions and made valuable
suggestions, which are incorporated in this edition.
We are indebted to Adansi Amankwaa, Albany State University; M. Terry Andrews,
Mount Wachusett Community College; Angela Andrus, Fullerton College; Catherine
Bacus, Chaffey College; Stephanie E. Afful, Missouri Baptist University; John Baugher,
University of Southern Maine; Meredith McGuire, Trinity University; Carol Nowak,
State University of New York at Buffalo; Paul Rosenblatt, University of Minnesota;
Sylvia Zaki, Rhode Island State College; Dale Lund, University of Utah; Tillman
Rodabough, Baylor University; John R. Earle, Wake Forest University; Clifton
D. Bryant, Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University; Dennis E. Ferrara, Mott
Community College; Lori Henderson, Southeastern Community College, Burlington;
Jennifer Keene, University of Nevada, Las Vegas; Patricia Kolar, University of
Pittsburgh; Leslie A. Muray, Lansing Community College; Kelly Niles-Yokem, York
College of Pennsylvania; Mari Plikhun, University of Evansville; Rebecca Reviere,
Howard University; Julia Tang, Mount St. Mary’s College; Alban L. Wheeler, Morehead
State University; Martha Shwayder, Metropolitan State College of Denver; James F. Paul,
Kankakee Community College; Catherine Wright, Mitchell College; Dolores Mysliwec,
Glenville State College; and Gerry R. Cox, University of Wisconsin–La Crosse. A special
thanks to the late James Farrell, Professor of History at St. Olaf College, for allowing us
to use material from his book entitled Inventing the American Way of Death: 1830-1920
(Philadelphia: Temple University Press. 1980) in Chapters 2, 10, and 11.
As in the past, we acknowledge those we have encountered in life. We have learned
so much from significant others and our students who have shared their experiences
with dying and death. Our own lives have gained from these experiences. We hope our
readers will experience an appreciation for life as they begin to understand, both
intellectually and emotionally, the social-psychological processes of dying, death, and
bereavement. This book is about dying and death, but it is really about living and life.
May your reading of this book help to enrich and make your life more meaningful.
Michael R. Leming and
George E. Dickinson

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The symbols of death say what life is and those of life define what death must be.
The meanings of our fate are forever what we make them.
—Lloyd Warner, The Living and the Dead

The day we die the wind comes down to take away our footprints.
—Song of the Southern Bushmen

Studying Dying, Death,


and Bereavement
CHAPTER
1

Source: Maddie Gies

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2 Chapter 1

You are enrolled in a course in death and dying. Note the reactions of others when you
inform them of this. They are likely okay with your saying you are taking such courses
as Principles of Biology, English Literature, Introduction to Philosophy, History of
the United States, or Calculus, but Death and Dying? Being informed of this course
may raise some eyebrows. That sounds weird and certainly morbid, or so some seem
to think. We often experience startled reactions when we tell that we teach a course
entitled “Death and Dying.” We wonder what images pop into individuals’ minds
when so informed. One woman, when introduced to George Dickinson and told that
he taught a course on death and dying, drew back, and in a rather startled voice said,
“How could you do such a thing?” She must have imagined Dracula team-teaching
and Frankenstein working as a lab assistant, along with the Grim Reaper. She then
said, “What do you do in a course like that?” After giving her a quick synopsis of
the course, she seemingly breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Oh, that doesn’t sound
so bad.”
Imagine the responses funeral home personnel must endure if we receive such
startled looks from just teaching about dying, death, and bereavement, and not actually
dealing with dead human remains. Stephanie Schim and colleagues (2007) in various
health care professions note that responding honestly at a party to the question,
“What is your area of study?” with “Oh, I’m working with death and dying” is a real
conversation terminator. From reactions that many individuals have to death-related
issues, it appears that death discussions are considered in bad taste and something to
be avoided. Road Scholar programs (formerly called Elderhostel), for example, can
present any topic of interest to older persons except dying and death. Likewise, at least
according to a survey in the late 20th century, U.S. high school physical education and
health teachers spend less time teaching death and dying than any of the 21 health
topics, and the topic of dying and death is less likely to be required in the 50 states than
any of the other 20 health topics.
Dying in the United States occurs offstage, away from the arena of familiar
surroundings of kin and friends, with 80 percent of deaths occurring in institutional
settings—hospitals and nursing homes. Back in 1949, deaths in institutional settings
accounted for 50 percent of U.S. deaths; thus, there has been a rapid rise in deaths away
from home. Grandfather seldom dies at home today, where he spent most of his life;
rather, his death likely occurs in an impersonal institutional setting. Over the course
of U.S. history, death has migrated “from a position of prominence to one of near
invisibility” (Jones, 2008, p. 2). The removal of death from the usual setting prompted
Dumont and Foss (1972, p. 2) to raise the question: “How is the modern American
able to cope with her/his own death when the deaths experienced are infrequent, highly
impersonal, and viewed as virtually abnormal?” For some time now, modern-day
Americans have been as repressed about death as the Victorians were about sex. We
have become rather adept as a society at avoidance tactics, removing sickness and dying
from everyday life (Thomson, 2008).
Death and dying is a topic to which college students should be able to relate
easily—the dead body and its management are mysterious, yet most students likely
have aged relatives at or near the end of their lives. Death and sexuality are exotic, yet
familiar. Our bodies, being living organisms, eventually deteriorate and die, though
the death of a human body is also inherently social. How we understand dying and
death and how we explain our reactions to death are major themes throughout this

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Studying Dying, Death, and Bereavement 3

book. We will look at how academics approach the study of death. A medical doctor
will focus on the biological aspects of dying and may rely on an autopsy to definitely
determine the cause(s) of a particular death. There are also social, psychological,
and spiritual aspects of dying and death as well. Dying and death can be examined
from a developmental perspective, viewing death at all stages of the life cycle. In
the end, however, what is important to many individuals is the meaning of death.
We feel, therefore, that an examination of the meaning of death and death-related
behaviors is one of the most important ways to approach the study of dying, death,
and bereavement.

Current Interest in Death and Dying


Many Americans express death anxiety, yet many also have an obsessive fascination
with death, dying, and the dead. This paradox is apparent in our popular culture, as
television programs, movies, songs, and the print media are fraught with thanatological
content (Durkin, 2003). The fascination has been fueled by various legal bodies
and by legal gymnastics surrounding several prolonged and much-observed deaths
of individuals. Though we have a tendency in general to avoid the topic of death,
Americans are finally willing to acknowledge that death is part of life and they seem
to want to talk about it (Foderaro, 1994). Such an example of this “movement” is the
emergence of death cafes and death dinners, where individuals gather to simply talk
about death and share their desires and thoughts (see Chapter 2). Additionally, Google
is training machines to predict when patients will die; thus, technology continues to
play a key role in dying and death (Bergen, 2018). Money Magazine reflected on what
seven jobs were important in 2017 (Bahler, 2017), and death doulas, or death midwives,
devoted to guiding patients through their final moments of life (not unlike birth doulas
helping with the birth process) emerged as a viable career track. Death doulas volunteer
with hospices or churches, work in hospitals, or set up private practices.
As Muriel Gillick (2000) noted, “Death happens 55 million times each year
throughout the world and 2.3 million times annually in the United States. Of the tens
of billions of people that have ever existed, everyone born before 1880 has died, and
nearly everyone currently alive today will perish in this century.” Today’s thanatology
(the study of dying, death, and bereavement) student is bombarded by pressing issues
of the day that involve death and death-related matters: memories of September 2001;
terrorist attacks throughout the world and threats of future attacks; the tsunami
caused by the earthquake off the West Coast of Northern Sumatra in 2004; Hurricane
Katrina hitting the Gulf Coast in 2005; the shootings at schools, churches, universities,
workplaces, entertainment venues almost on a regular basis; the earthquake in Haiti in
2010; the typhoon in the Philippines in 2013; the bombings at the Boston Marathon
in 2013; the Malaysia Airlines Boeing Flight 370 disappearance with 239 individuals
on board in 2014; Hurricane Maria in the Caribbean, particularly Puerto Rico, in
2017; the prolongation of dying from cancer; the growing incidence of chronic illnesses
with uncertain courses; murder; increasing suicide rates; ecological disasters; fetal
transplants; cloning; and abortion. The topic of death is alive and well in today’s
contemporary society. Let’s look at some of the reasons why dying and death as topics
of discussion have come into their own in recent years.

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4 Chapter 1

LISTENING TO THE VOICES

Death on the Farm


As one brought up exposed to a farm burial, and we then proceeded to cremate
environment, George Dickinson remembers on the animal. After soaking him in kerosene
one occasion helping his father dispose of the and putting numerous pieces of timber over
body of a polled Hereford bull. The bull had the corpse (not completely unlike a pyre, as
been dead for about a day before he was found discussed in Chapter 10), we set him on fire.
in the woods. The buzzards circling overhead The corpse was still smoking several days later,
were a good indication of where the lost bull though the buzzards had long since gone away.
would be. When he was actually found, about On other occasions, we would have to “put
a dozen buzzards were already there. Just down” a cow and thus practice euthanasia (to
shooing those aggressive vultures away from be discussed in Chapter 8). At other times a
the death scene was indeed a grim portrayal of calf would be born dead or die soon after birth.
death. Since the bull weighed approximately Exposure to births and deaths is commonplace
2,000 pounds, Dad decided against earth in such a setting.

Why the Increased Interest?


Though death has been around since the beginning of humankind, in recent years a
near fascination with death has evolved. Such an increased interest in thanatology is
due to several reasons: an aura of mystery surrounding death perhaps brought on in
part because of lingering deaths due to chronic illnesses rather than the acute illnesses
of an earlier day; terrorism; an interest in ethical issues concerning death and dying;
and increased media coverage of deaths, especially violent deaths in schools, churches,
and other gathering places.

The Mystery of Death An aura of mystery developed. One is taken to the hospital or
nursing home and is next seen dead. Thus, a child may begin to wonder what is going
on with this thing called death that takes people away, not to return. As one little boy
said in writing a letter to God, “Dear God, What is it like when you die? I don’t want
to do it. I just want to know.” Often small children are not allowed to go into certain
parts of a hospital; thus, the taboo nature of a hospital setting makes one wonder
what is going on in there—“I just want to know.” Hospitals do not allow such entry in
part because of contagious diseases to which small children would be more vulnerable
than adults. Such rejection is not unlike Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz’s saying
“no dogs allowed” as Snoopy tries to enter a forbidden area. “No children allowed” is
indeed the strong message of rejection here. To say “no” to a child often increases his
or her curiosity tremendously. “Why is this place such that I cannot enter?” the child
may ask.
A desire to examine this mysterious thing called death has contributed to a growing
interest in thanatology. Our society has done little to achieve formal socialization of its
members to deal with death on personal and emotional levels. Even though the hospital
may not allow children to enter certain areas or at particular times, parents have often
tried to shield their innocent children from death scenes. Medical, theology, and other
health care professional schools have not had significant curricular offerings to prepare

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Studying Dying, Death, and Bereavement 5

their students for this death-related work. Overall, our socialization to dying and death
situations has been unsystematic and ineffective.
Today’s lack of familiarity with death may be in part due to fewer individuals being
raised on farms than was the case in the early 20th century. Being brought up in a rural
environment gave one direct exposure to birth and death as everyday events. Children
were surrounded by the alpha and omega of the life cycle. Kittens, puppies, piglets,
lambs, calves, chicks, and colts were born—and also died. Thus, it was commonplace
to make observations of death and to deal with these situations accordingly.
Death can be very visible down on the farm. With less than 10 percent of the U.S.
population engaged in farming today, birth and death scenes have largely been removed
from the personal observations of most individuals. The mystery of these events at the
beginning and at the end of life is at least somewhat addressed with farm dwellers—less
likely the case with urbanites.

Terrorism In the post 9/11 era, the ever-present threat of terrorist attacks has injected
the unpredictable nature of mortal danger and mass destruction into our collective
awareness. (See Figure 1.1.) Victory in the war on terror depends in part on our
ability to live with death threats (Wong & Tomer, 2011). Such fear of an invasion

Shutterstock.com

Figure 1.1
The threat of terrorism unfortunately has added an unpredictable element to lives around the world to the point that an
individual almost has to routinely adhere to the “watch your back” warning. Indeed, intimidation is that which terrorist
groups seek. The 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center in New York City is a horrible reminder of such behavior.

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6 Chapter 1

had not presently occurred in the lifetime of most living Americans. A stunned nation
watched on television that day, and the days that followed, absolutely in disbelief
that such an attack had occurred. Many television viewers watched live coverage as
the second plane hit New York’s World Trade Center. In one of the more horrific
images, the dead and the doomed plummeted from the skyscrapers. A nightmare of
this magnitude was unknown to the majority of U.S. citizens. Not since the attack
on Pearl Harbor in World War II had such a surprise occurrence taken place, yet this
time it hit the U.S. mainland. The sense of security and self-confidence that Americans
take as their birthright suffered a grievous blow, from which recovery will take a long
time, observed Washington, DC, reporter R. W. Apple, Jr. (2001). These deaths were
sudden and violent, and thus more intense than lingering or expected demises. More
guilt may occur as a result because there is no opportunity to say goodbye, express
feelings, or make amends (Dickinson, 2011a).
In the aftermath of September 11, 2001, more than 60 percent of Americans
who were asked about their emotions responded that their personal sense of security
had been shaken, compared with 24 percent in the preceding year; 54 percent
feared that they or a member of their family would become a victim of a future
terrorist attack (Jonas & Fischer, 2006). Regarding children, in counseling after
the 9/11 attack, N. B. Webb (2002) observed that the overwhelming magnitude
of this tragedy affected even those children who did not suffer personal losses.
Terrorist attacks induce fear, anxiety, and concern about death and seem to be a
natural reminder of mortality.
Ken Doka (2003) stated that one of the most significant elements of public tragedy
involves the degree to which it is perceived as being caused by humans, particularly in
an intentional way. Assigning blame, Doka notes, provides a target for anger, which may
help promote an illusion of safety and control. Regarding adolescents’ reactions to the
terrorist attacks, some good may come out of the bad. For instance, it is suggested in the
midst of stress-related disorders that many active attempts at coping and adapting to
difficulty may be seen. Following the 9/11 attacks, there was the potential to seriously
compromise adolescents’ sense of fairness and justice, yet their increased capacity to
think in abstractions and ability to problem solve leaves the potential for adolescents
to cope by constructing a sense of order and justice even in the face of senseless acts
(Noppe, Noppe, & Bartell, 2006). Such positive approaches to negative circumstances
may enhance resilience by promoting greater flexibility in thinking and openness to
new information.
Religiousness is generally associated with lower death anxiety, thus religious
belief plays a protective role in terror management (Jonas & Fischer, 2006). For
example, 84 percent of individuals asked if they had said special prayers in response to
the September 11 terrorist attack answered in the affirmative (Smith, Rasinski, & Toce,
2001). Additionally, following the 9/11 attack, the highest level of church attendance
since the 1950s was observed in America, with similar spikes in Canada, England, and
Australia (Pyszczynski, Solomon, & Greenberg, 2003). Terror management studies
have suggested that the reminder of mortality leads people to defend their religious
faith (Jonas & Fischer, 2006).
Terror management theory (TMT) suggests that people adhere to cultural
worldviews and beliefs in order to suppress death and mortality-related thoughts.
TMT says that individuals combat the terror of their mortality with the same cognitive

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Studying Dying, Death, and Bereavement 7

abilities that cause this terror to arise, by developing “death-denying cultural belief
systems” (Goldenberg et al., 2000). TMT could explain why many people have trouble
interacting with people from different cultures.
Studies by Eva Jonas and Peter Fischer (2006) suggest that those intrinsically
vested in their religion (those for whom religion serves as a framework for life by
providing both meaning and value) derive terror management benefits from religious
beliefs. Religion is unique among meaning systems because it equips individuals
to respond to situations in which they come face-to-face with the limits of human
control and power and are confronted with their finitude (Smith, Pargament, Brant, &
Oliver, 2000).
The September 11 attack contributed to an omnipresent feeling of compassion and
a yearning to believe something redemptive could come out of horrific tragedy, noted
New York reporter N. R. Kleinfield (2002). Altruism, patriotism, and a sense of unity
followed this event, as is often true following a disaster. A sharing of grief, even with
strangers, seems to console; it helps to know that others care. The 9/11 dead were like
us, and identification with and connections to them happened through the media. Grief
shared is grief relieved (Dickinson, 2011a). This event helped many individuals realize
just how precious life is and that we should be thankful for what we have. One wakes
up in the morning not knowing what the day may bring. An outcome of 9/11 is that
individuals today are more aware that the beginning of a bright sunshine-filled day
could end up in tragedy.
The events of September 11, 2001, and other terrorist attacks throughout the
world, have caused individuals to become more paranoid. We tend to “look over
our shoulder” more often. We are more suspicious of certain individuals whom we
fear might harm us. Airports, government buildings, schools, entertainment venues
in the United States and abroad, and any facility where large crowds gather have
more surveillance and personnel to guard the premises. The possibility of death from
terrorists or individuals with mental disabilities or anger or hatred is all around us
today, and, unfortunately, it is not likely to go away anytime soon.

Ethical Issues Individuals are living longer today in part because of medical
breakthroughs such as life-support equipment, organ transplants, penicillin and other
miracle drugs, clean water supplies, sanitation and other public health measures,
healthier diets, more exercise, and improved personal habits (e.g., stopping smoking).
Such prolongation of life has raised ethical issues dating back to the 1970s (e.g., the
cases of Karen Ann Quinlan and Baby Jane Doe) that involve the right to die, causing
a furor in philosophy, law, and medicine. The case of Terri Schiavo in Florida in 2005
brought this end-of-life issue to the forefront. With the media highly publicizing these
cases, the public was alerted to moral and legal questions on death not previously
posed. Whether or not to “pull the plug” and disconnect life-supporting equipment
present questions for which ready answers are not found. An elderly woman summed
up this dilemma when she spoke to Jinny Tesik of Compassion in Dying (Sturgill,
1995), an organization providing education regarding terminal care: “We used to be
afraid to go to the hospital because that’s where you went to die; now we’re afraid to
go because that’s where they won’t let us die.”
The whole issue of when death occurs evolves from these medical developments.
The question of who determines when one is alive or dead has been addressed by

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Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
Hodeida. Eine arabische Stadt, buntes Leben, Freunde, Bitten
um ein Boot, das sie weiterbringen kann, Wahl der Begleiter und
endlich die Stunde, in der es wieder weitergeht. Hat der Aufenthalt
lange gedauert, zwei Tage, zehn, vierzehn? Weiter, nur
weiter! — — —
Vom niedrigen Sambuk aus sind die flachen Dächer Hodeidas
noch eben zu sehen, dann beim Runden der nächsten Huck
verschwinden auch sie. Nach kurzem Aufenthalt in Hodeida hat von
Möller mit seinen Begleitern einen Sambuk, eines der
Segelfahrzeuge, die dem Verkehr der Anwohner des Roten Meeres
dienen, zur Verfügung gestellt erhalten. Der geringe Tiefgang
ermöglicht ein Fahren unmittelbar unter der Küste, zum Teil
zwischen den vorgelagerten Inseln und Riffen hindurch, wohin selbst
kleine Kanonenboote nicht zu folgen vermögen. Bis Djidda soll die
Fahrt gehen, dann quer durch die Wüste zur Hedschasbahn.
Die Seefahrt ist nicht ganz einfach. Dicht unter der
Wasseroberfläche verborgen liegen zahlreiche Riffe und Klippen.
Noch gefährlicher aber sind die feindlichen, im Roten Meer
kreuzenden Kriegsschiffe, die die Küste ständig unter scharfer
Bewachung halten.
Ohne Zwischenfälle verläuft der Tag. Glühendheiß brennt die
Sonne herunter, ununterbrochen gleitet an Steuerbord die trostlose
Wüstenlandschaft vorbei. Einzelne kleine Inselchen und Korallenriffe
werden umfahren. Nichts zeigt sich auf dem Wasser. Ganz fern nur
verweht der Rauch eines auf die Insel Perim zusteuernden
Dampfers. Die Nacht kommt, erfrischende Brise setzt mit der
Dunkelheit ein. Sie verleiht dem Sambuk gute Fahrt, verlangt aber
auch schärfsten Ausguck nach der Brandung, um ein Auflaufen zu
vermeiden. Mitternacht. Eben wird die Wache übergeben: „Nichts in
Sicht“, als plötzlich aus dem Dunkel ein greller Lichtkegel über das
Wasser schießt. Ein feindliches Bewachungsschiff. Im Nu ist das
Segel herunter, und regungslos, hinter einem Riff verborgen, liegt
der Sambuk. Näher flutet das Licht, zittert bald hierhin, bald dorthin,
gleitet heran. Entdeckt! Sekunden höchster Spannung vergehen,
dann sucht der Lichtkegel wieder weiter, um schließlich ganz zu
erlöschen. Gleichförmig vergehen die Tage. Hie und da streifen an
Land Beduinen bis an die Küste heran. Sie verschwinden aber, als
sie nur ein einheimisches Fahrzeug, das nicht weiter verdächtig ist,
erblicken.
Nur noch fünfzig Meilen trennen die kleine Schar von Konfuda,
als mehrere feindliche Wachschiffe in bedrohliche Nähe kommen.
Mit hoher Fahrt braust eines der niedrigen Kanonenboote bis auf
etwa drei Seemeilen heran, stoppt. Von der Brücke spähen mit
Kiekern und Doppelgläsern bewaffnete Augen nach dem Sambuk,
der ruhig weitergleitet, aber auf alle Fälle gerüstet, dicht unter Land
fährt. Drüben rührt sich nichts; wahrscheinlich ist ihnen das
Fahrzeug nicht verdächtig und daß Araber, für die man sie
augenscheinlich hält, auf ein Signal eingehen, kann nicht erwartet
werden. Vielleicht auch trösten sie sich damit, daß weiter nördlich
andere Kanonenboote stehen. Dort gibt es keine Riffe, die, wie hier,
eine unmittelbare Durchsuchung hindern.
Die gleichen Erwägungen aber sind es, die auf dem Sambuk
angestellt werden, als weit voraus Rauchwolken auftauchen. Die
Sache wird brenzlich. Jetzt heißt es an Land gehen. Südlich Konfuda
landet Kapitänleutnant von Möller am Nachmittag in der Nähe eines
kleinen Küstenplatzes. Dank seiner arabischen Begleitung sind bald
Kamele zur Stelle, auf denen der Weitermarsch angetreten wird.
Drei Tage später, am 28. April, reiten sie ungefährdet in die Stadt
ein, und ebenso heil kommen sie nach einem weiteren Kamelritt, der
sie über vierhundert Kilometer führt, am 16. Mai nach Djidda, dem
Sitze eines türkischen Oberkommandos.
Hier aber scheint die Reise ein Ende finden zu sollen. Schon in
Friedenszeiten sind die in der Umgebung hausenden
Wüstenstämme ihres religiösen Fanatismus wegen berüchtigt. Dazu
kommt noch, daß sie ganz im Solde der Engländer stehen, die sie
mit modernen Handwaffen ausgerüstet haben. Über fünfhundert
Kilometer führt der Weg zur Bahn durch ihr Gebiet. Ohne überaus
starke Deckungsmannschaften, die gerade jetzt nicht abkömmlich
sind, ist das Unternehmen mehr als gefährlich. In überzeugender
Weise versucht der Oberkommandierende von Möller von seinem
Vorhaben abzubringen, hält ihm immer wieder das Tollkühne seiner
Absichten vor. Umsonst ......
Die Kamele stehen bereit, ein arabischer Soldat und ein Basch
Tschausch, die als Führer dienen sollen, warten auf den Befehl zum
Abmarsch. Noch einmal tritt der Kommandeur an von Möller heran.
„Herr Kapitänleutnant, ich habe leider nicht die Macht, Sie an
Ihrem Vorhaben zu hindern, aber bitten kann ich Sie wieder und
wieder, bleiben Sie hier. Sie wissen nicht, wie gefährlich der Weg ist,
den Sie gehen wollen, wie verhetzt die Beduinen, die seit langem
schon nur englisches Gold kennen. Denken Sie an die „Ayesha“-
Leute!“ Eindringlich spricht der türkische Offizier auf den Deutschen
ein, dessen hohe Gestalt ihn weit überragt. Einen Augenblick scheint
es wie ein Zögern über das dunkelbraune, hager gewordene Gesicht
von Möllers zu gehen, dann lächelt er: „Wenn Sie nun wüßten, Ihr
Vaterland braucht Sie, über kurz oder lang kommt es zu einer
großen, vielleicht zur Entscheidungsschlacht, in der jedermann nötig
ist, würden Sie zögern, weil es gefährlich ist?“ Nicht einen
Augenblick besinnt sich der Angeredete. „Ich würde gehen.
Trotzdem möchte ich Sie warnen und bitten, bleiben Sie, tun Sie es
nicht. Freilich, Sie sind ja fest entschlossen! So wünsche ich Ihnen
nur, Ihr Gott möge mit Ihnen sein und Sie glücklich nach dem
ersehnten Ziele geleiten.“
Ein fester Händedruck, dann wendet sich Kapitänleutnant von
Möller an seine Begleiter, die mit ihm so manche Gefahr bestanden
haben und die wie er bereit sind, neue aufzusuchen, um heim, in
den Krieg zu kommen.
Langsam setzt sich der Zug in Bewegung. In gleichmäßigem
Schritt geht es durch die Straßen in die Wüste hinaus, die im
Scheine der untergehenden Sonne blutigrot leuchtet .... Jetzt winden
sie sich zwischen zwei Dünen hindurch, überschreiten den Wadi,
sind draußen .... Kleiner und kleiner werden die Gestalten ...
bläuliche Nebel fallen ein ... ein weißer Burnus leuchtet ... der letzte
Sonnenstrahl blitzt auf einem Gewehrlauf .... Wie Pünktchen noch
sind sie zu erkennen ... dann verschwinden sie dort, wo der gelbe
Sand in die violetten Abendschatten übergeht .. fern ... in der
Wüste ...........
Telegramm des syrischen Armeekorps vom 3. Juni 1916:
Wir haben zu unserem Bedauern erfahren, daß Kapitänleutnant
von Möller und seine Begleiter neun Stunden von Djidda entfernt von
Arabern ermordet wurden.
Verlag August Scherl G. m. b. H., Berlin

Deutsche Taten zur See


Emden-Ayesha. DK ai ep i t ä n bl eeui dt neann t Bücher
Hellmuth
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„V 188“. MKapitänleutnant
e i n e To r p e d o b o o t - K r i e g s f a h r t e n . Der Verfasser,
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Im Torpedoboot gegen England. Ke rrlieebgns


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Verlag August Scherl G. m. b. H., Berlin

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