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Curing Sexual Performance Anxiety A Mans Guide To Discover Life Long Sexual Health Erections Libido and Vitality Brian Powerz
Curing Sexual Performance Anxiety A Mans Guide To Discover Life Long Sexual Health Erections Libido and Vitality Brian Powerz
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Sexual Performance anxiety
make more frequent use of pornography have brains that are less
Porn is such a ferocious competitor that hardly any other activity can
compete with it, including actual sex with a real partner. That’s right,
porn can actually overpower your brain’s natural ability to have real
sex! Why? As Dr. Norman Doidge, a researcher at Columbia
University, explains, porn creates the the perfect conditions and
your brain.
This trend of sex problems is especially serious for teens and young
hosts NoFap challenges for the sake of dumping the porn addiction
for a better, healthier and all-around happier sex life. Really what
NoFap aims at doing is to assist you, through their programs, to
keep the spark of great sex alive with any romantic encounter you
have.
Cue the scores of comments about how non-release is bad for you
and you stand at risk of contracting prostate cancer if you do not
release yourself. It’s absolutely true that studies have shown that
release can be extremely good for your health. But note that the
emphasis is on release and not self-release.
Many a time a porn addiction can get in the way of building good
relationships, and can lead to dependency. And that is the focus for
Increase in Confidence
So many men have made mention that their desire to talk to women
and initiate flirting has increased exponentially after taking the
challenge. Possibly the best part of it all is that flirting seems to
happen more spontaneously and easier for many of the men who
mentioned motivation as one of their biggest NoFap benefits.
However, this motivation is not only isolated to flirting with women,
it’s a general motivation which increased the drive to take on
projects or situations and be productive in them for longer periods of
time.
Respect
Many feel that they are now receiving more respect from men and
women alike. This may have something to do with the increased
confidence, but it could also have something to do with the increase
in testosterone, which is suggested to increase after the seventh day
of the challenge.
Enhanced connections
To really appreciate your partner during sex, you have to put aside
what you’re thinking of and rather experience her than the sex. The
fact that the 90-day period enhances your connection to women,
and other people is one of the more mentioned benefits along with
some of the physical benefits like being more present during sex,
enjoying it much more and experiencing quicker arousal that was
more pleasurable than the arousal received from porn. The more
pleasurable arousal makes for a more pleasurable release.
Deeper emotions
Make sure not to work out the same muscle groups one day after
the other; like don’t work out quads two days in a row. Not giving
your muscles enough time to rest leads to overtraining, and
overtraining will significantly reduce your testosterone levels.
You want to make sure to eat about two hours before you workout.
You can’t work out while hungry, but you can’t be digesting either.
Digestion takes energy, and so does lifting weights. If you workout
too soon after eating, you will be digesting at the same time as
working out, and you will do both processes less efficiently. This can
also lead to overtraining. Eat meals with a healthy portion of
carbohydrates, protein, and make sure to throw in some fruits and
vegetables.
Drink lots of water, breathe well, and take sufficient breaks between
workouts. This oxygen increase is good for muscle growth, and
prevents overtraining.
You also want to eat as soon after working out as possible. These
don’t have to be big meals, but you do need to “feed” your muscles.
In order to best burn fat and gain muscle, you actually want to eat
more, contrary to what you may be thinking. While you don’t
exactly want to eat a larger portion of food, you do want to eat more
meals. Four or five smaller meals evenly spread out through the day
is better than a large breakfast, lunch and dinner. This keeps your
metabolism going.
Another positive aspect of weightlifting: the more muscle you have
present on your body, the faster you actually burn fat. This can
become a positive cycle, and besides looking and feeling better, this
will lead to a much stronger sex drive.
Aerobic exercises are good for getting your blood circulation going,
which helps for overall health and erection quality, and increasing
your endurance, but don’t overdo it. Too much can actually have
the opposite effect, a decrease in testosterone. Also having a lot of
fat around the stomach can cause a higher production of estrogen.
However, the workouts can counteract that effect.
these two girls out, Tiffany and Gabriella . The night started off a
apartment, and the girls were all for it. By this time, Tiffany and I
had already made out, and were flirting heavily. We got to the hot
tub, and we all stripped down to our underwear, and got in. Man,
this girl was looking good. She had some big breasts and a sexy
face. She was on top of my penis, and I was noticing that it
Think about this: the woman you are sharing this sexual experience
with has accepted you completely. For her to open herself up to you
to the point where she will have sex with you, she is giving herself
completely to you. She wants to.
be the reason that you have an orgasm…as a matter of fact, she
wants to be the cause of your orgasm, and wants to share in the
ultimate pleasure with you.
When you are home alone watching a porno, I’m pretty sure you can
get yourself very horny. Most likely, when you are going to
masturbate till orgasm, you are able to easily achieve an erection,
because you know what’s coming. Well, you need to look at your
sexual partner like she is your porno. Relax, enjoy her, and know
that she wants to be the reason that you orgasm…begin to view sex
like this.
Also, don’t lie to yourself…admit that you are a little scared, and
accept it; it will be easier to work with. If you act like you are all
calm and under control, you are lying to yourself, and your mind and
body are not working with each other. Admit that you are nervous,
but know that you are going to work with yourself to overcome it.
Don’t judge yourself harshly for what you are feeling; it is natural to
be anxious in these types of situations.
Another thing that can help you overcome this sexual anxiety is to
become as comfortable with your partner as possible….don’t worry
about your “performance”, just connect with your partner, and you
will feel more comfortable…feeling comfortable is a prerequisite for
proper erections. If you are on a real comfortable conversation level
with her, and easily communicate your thoughts, tell her the truth:
you get a little nervous with new sexual partners, and sometimes
run into some difficulties at first, but always get over it. If she really
likes you, she’ll probably find you cute for this.
If you are not on a comfortable conversation level with your partner,
then you need to learn how to…this is important for more than just
sex, this is important for your overall relationship.
Have fun with sex…add some humor to the situation…this can help
“take the edge off”. Almost every guy I know has been through this
situation at least once. Don’t put any pressure on the situation, just
relax, TAKE YOUR TIME, have fun, and get as horny as you’d like.
The erection will come along. Then after you have sex a couple of
times with this partner, you will be much more comfortable with her,
and your penis will come along much easier from then on.
Know that this performance anxiety will disappear in time, as you
continue having sex with this same partner, especially after you
achieve your first orgasm with her. Psychologically and
physiologically you will feel that she is the provider of your orgasm,
which will cause you to get aroused and achieve erections much
quicker. Sometimes it’s better just to have a quickie with her to get
this first time out of the way, and then as you get more comfortable
with her, you can start concentrating on your technique, lasting
longer, making her orgasm, etc.
Excessive alcohol can also very well kill an erection. You should
know that, if you haven’t learned that by now.
Do not use your hands to stimulate your penis, just hold the PC until
an erection, or partial erection comes around. Keep on practicing
until you can achieve a full erection with squeezing your PC muscle
alone.
First and foremost, if you have not ejaculated in a few days, the
semen will have built up, and this will most likely cause you to
ejaculate quickly. That’s why people give the advice to ejaculate an
hour before intercourse, in order to not be over-excited. This is
fairly common knowledge. But I personally do not like to ejaculate
an hour before intercourse. For me that removes most of the
excitement. However, do try and release a few times a week.
When I first started having sex, I had the ability to ejaculate, and
achieve an erection right afterwards. Like quick intercourse, then
ejaculation. Five minutes later; quick intercourse, then ejaculation.
Then a few minutes later; bam, bam, bam; ejaculate. Usually by
three ejaculations I was done.
First and foremost, you need to work on getting over the fear of
being alone with your sexuality. Experiment with the mentality that
you are getting to know your sexual side, and you are becoming
comfortable with it. Become friends with your penis and your
sexuality. This is not a foreign part of you; these are natural urges
around since the beginning of mankind.
You also want to observe your levels of anxiety. Mentally view your
anxiety levels, and keep them under control. Keep a close eye on
them, they’re tricky…sometimes they’ll go up and you won’t notice.
Keep them down. You may want to strengthen your concentration
for this…more on that later.
One fear that most people have during sex is that they are going to
lose their erection, and NOT be able to get it back. You need to
remove this fear. This is something that will be eating away at your
subconscious, many times causing you to pump away anxiously and
quickly, in order to keep your erection (which you are in no danger
of losing anyway).
You need to first see how easily you can gain, lose, and then regain
your erection in order to feel comfortable and gain your confidence
in this. Throughout this whole exercise, remember to stay mentally
relaxed.
Now for the first exercise: play around with your genitals until you
achieve an erection. Do not use any mental erotic/sexual
stimulation, just play around with your penis and testicles in a
manner that pleases you physically. You should achieve an erection
within a matter of minutes.
After gaining this erection, play with it for a minute, then let it
subside (lose the erection). Do not touch it until it goes back
completely to your normal flaccid state. Once soft, play with it again
until you get your erection back. This time it should actually return
faster than when you first tried. Lose it and regain it as many times
as you want. This should give you some confidence to slow down
more during intercourse, and not rush away to try and “maintain”
your erection.
You may have lost an erection before during intercourse, and not
gained it back. This was most likely due to fear, anxiety, and putting
too much pressure on it. Do not race against your erection!
As a matter of fact, you want to try and remove all negativities from
your mind, at least while you are having sex. Some doctors say that
stress and anxiety are some of the main causes of premature
ejaculation. Try to stand back and observe your thoughts while
performing these exercises, and during actual intercourse. Notice
those feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, and guilt, and keep them under
control (this IS possible; in everyday life as well). Remove these
negativities from your thoughts, and you’ll be left with nothing but
calm and peace.
However, note that you need to keep your brain under control.
Remember the words “ejaculation control” while you perform this
exercise…you are in control over your ejaculation.
You also want to rethink the way you look at sex. Mentally retrain
yourself. One of the reasons you may be ejaculating quickly is that
you are concentrating on the orgasm. You have grown up with the
equation sex=orgasm. Even if you are trying not to think about the
orgasm, you still have it in your subconscious. Forget about orgasm
altogether. Retrain yourself to be a lover who lengthens the
intercourse. Say to yourself, “I have ejaculation control”, and
therefore your goal is for long intercourse…orgasm isn’t part of
you….just extend intercourse, the middle stage between arousal and
orgasm.
You do not want to dwell for too long on erotic thoughts and stimuli
that highly arouse you. For instance, if you like nipples, and they
turn you on very much, during intercourse, don’t look or think about
her nipples for too long. This might sound like common sense, but
you might not even notice that your brain may begin to zero in on
these arousing images, and then your concentration can spiral out of
control and into another premature ejaculation.
Notice that what arouses you most about these erotic images is your
fantasy about the breasts/ass/vagina, and not so much the actual
breasts/ass/vagina themselves. Your fantasy is more arousing than
reality, and while extremely fun to play with this fantasy when you
are planning on ejaculating, it is a bad idea to get caught up in it
when you are trying to perform for longer periods of time. Get back
to reality.
Realize that while these female body parts are beautiful, they are
not the cause of you losing control…your fantasies about these parts
are. If you need to, look at erotic stimuli like porno, and desensitize
your eyes a little to breasts, ass and vagina…realize how after an
ejaculation these body parts don’t have quite the same mental effect
on you.
Now, it’s going to be more difficult to do this while with a girl, but
with time, practice, and strengthening of your concentration, you will
gain that confidence. You will have confidence in your penis,
knowing that it can be stimulated indefinitely, as long as your mind
is right. That is why solo training is important…consider it like your
training wheels when you were learning to ride a bike.
• Try and stay far away from the stage before ejaculation. If you
have already reached this “red zone”, you will feel like any time you
touch your penis you will ejaculate. At this point, your testicles are
most likely pushing up against your prostate, causing very strong
feelings of imminent orgasm/ejaculation. Stop stimulation, and grab
each of your testicles (each one individually) and pull them down
away from your body. After stretching them somewhat, do the
deep, slow inhalation/exhalation while completely clearing your
thoughts. Force your arousal levels to
drop, and take back control over the relaxation in your brain and
genital area; remove erotic thoughts, and you should be able to
regain your control, and continue without the threat of ejaculation so
near. Do this as many times as you need to.
• Know that as time goes by, naturally you will become more
comfortable with your partner sexually, and be more in control of
your emotions and thoughts, and in general will be able to last
longer.
As mentioned above, it requires concentration to take ownership
over your arousal levels and last longer during sex. Concentration is
actually a skill and can be developed via meditation.
Many people hear meditation, and they think of Buddhist monks who
“waste” their lives away sitting and thinking. It cannot be farther
from the truth. It has been said that the brain is like a dirty window,
filled with muddy thoughts that pull you this way and that,
distracting you, scaring you, boosting your ego, crushing your ego,
making you feel lonely, and blocking a clearer view of reality, as well
as the full potential of your mind.
When you meditate, you are cleaning off some of this mud, little by
little, and you are able to view the world through a cleaner window,
with a better, stronger, and more positive understanding and view of
yourself and reality. Spend a few minutes a day meditating and
you’ll find less anxiety, stress, worry, fear, etc., and this gets better
and better with time.
Meditation makes you master of your thoughts. You are not your
thoughts. Your thoughts are a constant waterfall of fear, stress, joy,
happiness, anger, etc. You are the awareness that witnesses the
thoughts. Please bear with me, I know I’m getting real philosophical
here, but this will help.
1) Make sure you have free time and privacy. Find somewhere
comfortable, and sit however is comfortable to you. However, sit up
as if you are “dignified”. When you think of the word “dignity”, and
you sit accordingly, it’s easier to maintain concentration during
meditation.
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