C/W 4/3/21

Directed Writing- Diary Entry

LO: To know what good development looks like in Q3

Do Now:
What do these words mean…
• Developed (adj.)
• Sustained (adj.)
• Wide range
Paper 1, Question 3
• You can be asked to write: a letter, magazine article, newspaper
article, speech, interview or journal entry.
• It’s primarily a reading question – don’t forget this and get too excited
by the writing.
Question 3
Imagine that you are Katniss Everdeen, the writer of Text A. The evening
of the Reaping you write your diary entry for the day.
In your diary entry you should:
• Explain your reasons for volunteering
• Give your thoughts on the reaction of Effie and the audience
• Describe your concerns about the future
Base your diary entry on what you have read in Text A, but do not copy
from it. Be careful to use your own words. Address each of the three
bullets.
Begin your diary entry: ‘Dear diary,
I just don’t know how this could have happened…’
Up to 15 marks are available for the content of your answer, and up to
10 marks for the quality of your writing.
Diary writing
• Write in the first person
• Use past tense
• Begin with ‘Dear diary’
• End with your name (like a letter)
• You can be more personal, confessional, tell secrets you wouldn’t
normally say out loud
• Language tends to be more informal… but depends on the character
you are going to be
• Use phrases like ‘I’ve never told anyone this but, …’
 Mark scheme - reading

What are the key points?

- Wide range of ideas from the original text
- All three bullet points are equally covered
- Supporting detail from the original text, but not copied
- Develop ideas from the text… original ideas based on evidence
 Mark scheme - writing

What are the key points?

- Language sounds convincing for the character you are imitating
- Language is appropriate for the text type you’ve been asked to write
- Wide range of interesting language (vocabulary and language devices)
- Paragraphing and ordering are correct throughout.
Candidate #1 • Language isn’t
Why isn’t this a good response? appropriate for Katniss:
‘god damn’ ‘sucks’
Dear diary, ‘don’t she know’
I just don’t know how this could have happened.
• No evidence for this
That damn Effie sucks. Don’t she know that we
development in the
people of District 12 won’t take this? You seen source text. No
the sign of our dissent already starting. No evidence Katniss will
clapping, just silence and finally that ancient murder Effie.
hand signal, usually used in funerals.
What Effie don’t know is that signal wasn’t for • Tone is wrong. Katniss
me. It was for her. It’ll be her damn funeral. I’ll is scared and worried,
hunt her down and slit her neck. not angry and
murderous.
Candidate #2
Why isn’t this a good response?
• Language is
Dear diary,
appropriate for Katniss
I just don’t know how this could have happened. and sounds like a diary.
Prim is my sister, my beloved sister, and I love her • However, none of the
with all my heart. Ever since we were little, I diary writing is relevant
always thought she was so beautiful and kind. to the three bullet
Much sweeter than me. points.
My mum always gave her much more attention. • It’s not answering the
If I’m honest I was probably jealous of her and question.
still am. I know deep down that I just don’t
deserve the love that Prim receives.
Develop these points with relevant, realistic
ideas…
1. Explain your reasons for volunteering
“I’d not even bothered to worry about her”

2. Give your thoughts on the reaction of Effie and the audience

“Don’t want her to steal all the glory, do we?”

3. Describe your concerns about the future

Hand signal: “it means goodbye to someone you love”
Time to write!
Please write up by hand.
35-40 minutes.

Mark out of 15 for reading: can you

identify the three bullet points and
develop them with your own ideas?

Mark out of 10 for writing: can you make

your writing sound realistic for the
question?
Feedback – common mistakes
• Copying from the text, especially ‘one slip of paper in thousands’
• Do not copy dialogue from the text
• Generally diaries wouldn’t use dialogue
• “Don’t want her to steal all your glory, do we?”
• Try instead: Effie had the audacity to say that I wanted to steal Prim’s glory!
Feedback – common mistakes
• The bullet points weren’t clearly addressed. Begin each paragraph with a
topic sentence that makes it obvious which bullet point you’ll talk about.
• Explain your reasons for volunteering
At the time, I volunteered on impulse, but thinking about it now I
realise I volunteered because…
• Give your thoughts on the reaction of Effie and the audience
The reactions of Effie and the audience couldn’t have been more
different!
• Describe your concerns about the future
Now my future all seems so uncertain…
Feedback – common mistakes
• Diary writing is reflecting on past events.
• How do you feel about the events now? Has your opinion changed?
Have you realized something new?
• You should take past events and consider them from a future
perspective.