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- Nh xut bn tr nh my : bjmax, zuywuan, cockroach Thc hin ebook : bjmax Ngy thc hin : 05/04/2012 http://www.e-thuvien.com
Mc lc
Mc lc ............................................................................................................................................. 2 Li gii thiu .................................................................................................................................... 4 Chng 1 : Ch ngha hon ho ...................................................................................................... 5 1.1. Ti sao phi l ngi theo ch ngha hon ho? ................................................................. 5 1.2. Ti sao chng ta khng thc t?.............................................................................................. 6 Chng 2 : Tht bi ......................................................................................................................... 8 2.1. Ti sao li b cuc? ................................................................................................................. 8 2.2. Ti sao ta khng suy ngh tch cc v xc nh li t tng ca mnh? ................................. 9 Chng 3 : Cht chm trong cng vic .......................................................................................... 11 3.1. Ti sao li cht chm trong 1 ng vic? .............................................................................. 11 3.2. Ti sao chng ta khng vt qua nhng chng ngi? ........................................................ 11 Chng 4 : Mi trng lm vic ................................................................................................... 13 4.1. Ti sao chng ta khng th tp trung t tng?.................................................................... 13 4.2. Ti sao chng ta khng dn dp cho gn gng v tip tc lm vic? ................................... 14 Chng 5 : Ni lon ....................................................................................................................... 15 5.1. Ti sao phi ni lon? ........................................................................................................... 15 5.2. Ti sao chng ta khng hc cch tn trng ngi khc? ...................................................... 15 Chng 6 : S hi .......................................................................................................................... 17 6.1. Ti sao li s hi? .................................................................................................................. 17 6.2. Ti sao chng ta khng nhn thc c ni lo lng ca mnh? ............................................ 18 Chng 7 : Khng th lm vic mt mnh..................................................................................... 20 7.1. Ti sao phi n c 1 mnh? ............................................................................................... 20 7.2. Ti sao khng ng tm hip lc vi nhau? ......................................................................... 21 Chng 8 : Mt mi (th cht ln tinh thn).................................................................................. 22 8.1. Ti sao chng ta li mt mi nh vy? ................................................................................. 22 8.2. Chin thut 3T : th gin, tuyn b, thc hin ..................................................................... 22 Chng 9 : Li bing ................................................................................................................... 24 9.1. Ti sao li li bing? ........................................................................................................... 24 9.2. Ti sao chng ta khng ngh n vic t thng c ng lc hn? ................................ 24 Chng 10 : Tr hon ....................................................................................................................... 26 10.1. 10.2. V sao vn cha n lc?................................................................................................ 26 Ti sao chng ta khng thc hin ngay by gi? .............................................................. 27 2
Chng 11 : Nng khiu v thi tch cc ................................................................................... 28 11.1. 11.2. Ti sao phi bn tm n nng khiu? ............................................................................... 28 Ti sao ta khng c 1 thi tch cc? ............................................................................. 28 Ti sao li dnh ly ci ti vi? .............................................................................................. 31 Ti sao ta khng iu tit 1 cht? ...................................................................................... 32 Ti sao phi vin c? ......................................................................................................... 33 Ti sao chng ta khng c gng dp b nhng ci c? ..................................................... 33
Li kt ................................................................................................................................................. 35
Li gii thiu
L 1 ngi tr v hu, ti lun cm thy cun ht trc cuc sng ca cc bn tr. Ti phi tha nhn rng cuc sng ca cc bn tr ngy nay khng h d dng hn so vi thi ca ti. Vi nhng bi tp trn lp, bi tp v nh, hot ng ngoi kha, mi quan h vi cha m, bn b, nhng vn tin bc cng nh nhiu th khc, cc bn gn nh khng cn thi gian ngng li ngh ngi na. Nhng ti sao d c qu nhiu vic phi lm nh th, ta vn thy cc bn tr la c trong cc trung tm mua sm, hay cc khu vui chi gii tr? Phi chng cc bn y ang c gng thot khi ci g khng khip lm? Thc ra, tnh trng ny bt ngun t s chn ch - 1 t dng din t hnh ng tr hon thc hin 1 vic g . Ni cch khc, nu 1 ngi c giao cho 1 cng vic g nhng anh ta c tr hon, khng chu lm ngay, th c ngha l anh ta ang chn ch. Tt c chng ta u tng chn ch 1 thi im no trong cuc i mnh. Bng cch no , ta hnh thnh cho mnh thi quen tr hon, t vic i n pht cui cng mi chu lm bi tp v nh cho n dnh trn thi gian dn mt vo ti vi. Lc cn tui v thnh nin, ti cng lun ch n thi im thch hp mi bt tay vo lm cng vic c giao. Bn c bit c bao nhiu thi gian b ph hoi v s chn ch khng? bao gi bn hi l do ti sao m ngi ta, c bit l cc bn tr, li thng t ra chn ch? y l kha cnh m cun sch ny mun cp n. Vi vn phong nh nhng v hnh nh minh ha, cun sch ny s gip bn khm ph ra l do cc bn tr chn ch, cng nh v sao h li c x theo thi quen thng thng nh vy. Bn cnh , cun sch ny cng i vo cch thc gii quyt vn mang tn chn ch . Nhng phng php, chin thut a ra y u c th nghim, kim chng v bo m hiu qu khi c p dng vo thc t. Bng cch chn c cun sch ny, bn chn bc i u tin trong vic hc cch vt qua s chn ch v c thc hn khng ri vo nhng ci by chn ch . Vy bn sn sng cha? ng chn ch na. Chng ta hy bt u thi.
1.1.
Ngi theo ch ngha hon ho = ngi t ra nhng tiu chu n v k vng cao n mc c th ngi y khng th t c chng.
3. T lm kh mnh 5
1 vn khc ca nhng ngi theo ch ngha hon ho l i lc (thc ra l mi lc), h lm cho cng vic tr nn kh khn hn. i vi h, vic n gin nh hon thnh 1 bi tp trn lp cng ln lao nh vic di 1 ngn ni vy. K vng qu cao v thi gian chuNn b qu di lm cho mi th tr nn kh khn hn so vi bn cht ca n. Hy ti chia s cho bn cu chuyn v Patrick - 1 hc sinh theo ch ngha hon ho. Trong khi lm bi kim tra lp, c 1 cu hi m p n ca n d dng n mc nh treo trc mt cu y vy. Tuy nhin, v l ngi theo ch ngha hon ho nn Patrick ngh p n khng th no d dng nh th c. Vy Patrick lm g? Cu b ngay p n u tin ny ra trong u mnh v thay vo 1 p n khc m cu cho l ng, nhng thc ra l sai. i lc ta cm thy cuc sng tht nhm chn v mun tm 1 th thch no cm thy th v hn. Nu bn cng c ngh ny th nn nh : Hy hon thnh cng vic ng thi hn!
1.2.
Thc t = c c thc tin v nhn nhn ng bn cht ca s vic Ti tm kim nhiu phng php gii quyt vn ca ch ngha hon ho. V ti nhn ra rng, cch tt nht lm iu l thi hnh chnh sch thc t hay cn gi l chnh sch 4P.
- Nu ti np bi tp hon ho th ti s - Liu ti c dnh nhiu thi gian chuNn t im A b bi tp ca mnh n ni ti khng th hon thnh n ng thi hn. - - T nhng phn tch ca mnh, chng ta s nhn ra rng hon ho l iu rt kh hoc khng th t c. D nhin, iu ny khng c ngha l chng ta phi t b nhng vic tng nh nm ngoi kh nng ca mnh. iu ta cn lm l phi thc c gii hn ca nhng im mnh v hon cnh hin thi ca mnh. Hy ly vic c gng ht mnh lm ng lc ch yu. Vy nn hy lun c gng ht mnh v ch i kt qu t iu . B3 : Cho php (Permit) bn thn mc sai lm 1 trong nhng tiu cc ca ch ngha hon ho l chng ta khng cho php mnh mc sai lm. Nhng hy ngh xem, ngay c nhng ngi v i nht cn mc sai lm c m. Ti chc rng nhng nh khoa hc v i nh Albert Einstein v Isaac Newton u tng mc sai lm. Vy nn chng c vn g nu mc sai lm c. 1 khi cho php bn thn mc sai lm, ta s khng qu lo lng v vic c gng tr nn hon ho na. Khi y, ta c th gii quyt c vn ca s chn ch.
B4 : T v ngc (Pat) khen ngi mnh v nhng thnh qu, d l nh nht, m mnh t c Ngy hm nay, bn t c nhng thnh qu no (k c ln hoc nh) cha? Nu c, hy t khen ngi mnh Lm tt lm! i no. Bng cch nhn nhn nhng thnh tch t c mi ngy, ta truyn ng lc cho bn thn. iu ny gip ta nhn ra rng khng nht thit phi hon ho th mi gt hi c thnh cng. Vy l n y, bn nm c cch thc vt qua cc vn do ch ngha hon ho to ra. Nu bn lm c iu ny, ngha l bn loi b c s chn ch ca mnh. Hy th p dng n v ng qu kht khe vi bn thn khi c gng tr thnh ngi hon ho. Bn ch cn phi c gng ht mnh l .
Chng 2 : Tht bi
Ti s khng chn ch mt khi ti trnh c n.
2.1.
Ti sao li b cuc?
1. B cuc - Thiu sc mnh ch
bao gi bn cm thy mun t b hoc tm dng cng vic m bn ang thc hin cha? Bn bit khng, chng phi ch mnh bn cm thy th u. Rt nhiu ngi, k c bn thn ti, cng tng tri qua cm gic ny. Nguyn nhn ca s chn ch l do ch chng ta khng mnh thc Ny ta tin v pha trc. Cm gic mun t b c th bt ngun t : Tht bi trin min Thiu khao kht v ng lc B ngi khc nh gi thp B nhiu tr ngi bao vy
D nhin, cn rt nhiu yu t khc khin ta ny sinh nh b cuc nhng nguyn nhn chnh l do ta nm tri qu nhiu tht bi.
3. B gn mc
Nh x hi hc Howard Becker l ngi u tin s dng cm t gn mc. Vic b gn mc c th khin 1 ngi gn cht vi 1 c tnh tiu cc no . Chng hn, nu Tom b gn mc ni di - ging cu b chn cu trong truyn ng ngn - th s c rt t ngi tin l cu ni tht. 1 ngi bn k cho ti nghe cu chuyn v Robert - 1 hc sinh c hc lc di mc trung bnh v gp nhiu kh khn trong hc tp. D rt c gng nhng Robert vn khng th hiu cc bi ging trn lp v thng xuyn b im km trong cc bi kim tra. Cc gio vin tch cc gip Robert nhng vn khng th ci thin c im s ca mnh. t lu sau, cu b b bn b v gio vin gn cho ci mc chng my tt p. T hn, chnh Robert cng t xem mnh l k v vng. Kt qu l lng t tn ca cu b xung n mc thp nht. iu ny nh hng xu n mi quan h vi cha m v bn b. Cu sng khp kn vi
tt c mi ngi. V b gn mc tiu cc nn chng c g l khi Robert c xu hng chn ch khi c giao 1 vic g .
4. Ph mc cho s phn
Ti chc rng tt c chng ta u tng xem nhng chng trnh truyn hnh hay nhng b phim v cc cp i tnh c gp nhau, yu nhau v sng hnh phc n u bc rng long. Nhng l cuc sng trn phim nh, cn trong i thc th iu ny c xy ra khng? 1 s ngi lun mun ph mc cuc i mnh cho s phn. H cho rng cuc i h c nh ot sn v th l h c cho dng i cun i, ta nh 1 con thuyn ra khi khng c cnh bum vy. Chnh v th, h khng c ng lc lm vic v vic duy nht h lm l chn ch trc mi th.
2.2.
Xc nh li t tng = Cho php tm tr mnh suy ngh theo hng tch cc hn Gii quyt cm gic mun b cuc tht khng d cht no. N i hi ta phi thay i suy ngh v tht bi, tc l xc nh li t tng ca mnh. C 2 phng php vt qua cm gic mun b cuc, 1 l thay i ci mc v 2 l hnh dung chin thng.
1. Thay i nhng ci mc
Nhiu khi ta mun b cuc v nhng li nhn xt khng hay t mi ngi xung quanh. Chnh v th, ta phi bit vt qua nhng nhn xt tiu cc ny nhn nhn bn thn 1 cch tch cc hn. Phng php ny gip ta xoay chuyn ci mc ca tht bi v pha cng vic ch khng phi bn thn. V vy, hy ghi nh nhng iu sau : Ci tht bi l n lc ca ta Ci ng b vt b l phng php m ta ang p dng Ci gy tht vng l kt qu m ta t c
Hy xc nh li t tng tp trung vo tht bi ca cng vic ch khng nhn nhn bn thn mnh l k tht bi. C ngi tng ni rng : C th gii c th nh gi thp bn nhng bn khng th nh gi thp bn thn mnh. Khng ai c th nh gi thp bn tr khi bn cho php ngi lm th. V vy, hy t tin vo mnh. Hy tin rng bn c th vn ti thnh cng trong tng lai. By gi, chng ta th p dng kin thc ny v 3 iu ghi nh trn vo trng hp ca Robert cp trc . Nu Robert hiu c rng i tng b gn mc khng phi l cu m chnh l vic hc tp ca cu th cu s t tin vi bn thn mnh hn. Khi y, Robert s tht vng vi kt qu m mnh t c ch khng phi bn thn mnh. Bn khng nn tht bi ngn mnh tin v pha trc. Hy suy ngh tch cc v rt ra kinh nghim. Thc t, nhng ngi thnh cng lun dng tht bi nh 1 cng c hc hi v hon thin bn thn. H c th nghi ng phng php lm vic dn h n tht bi ch khng bao gi nghi ng v kh nng ca chnh mnh.
l tht bi thm hi. Hn Thnh Long tht vng lm ch, nhng iu u ngn cn anh vng ln nhng b phim cc k n khch sau nh Gi cao im hay Hip s Thng Hi. Tht bi khng phi l ci c ta chn ch. Ngc li, n phi l ng lc tip thm sc mnh ta vn ti thnh cng trong tng lai.
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3.1.
Cht chm trong 1 ng cng vic = C qu nhiu vic cn lm Hy i mt vi thc t rng bn c qu nhiu vic phi hon thnh. tui v thnh nin, bn phi lm bi tp trng, nh v 1 s ngi cn phi lm thm c tin tiu vt. Ni cch khc, chng ta bn rn nh nhng ch ng th v cht ngp trong 1 ni vic! D i qua thi nin thiu nhng ti vn nh nh in qung thi gian bn rn trc y ca mnh. Mi ngy ca ti u tri qua vi qu nhiu hot ng n ni hu nh lc no ti cng lm khng kp th. i khi, vi qu nhiu vic cn lm, chng ta cm thy mt mi n mc t lit, khng bit mnh nn lm g hay phi bt u t u.
1. Phi bt u t u?
ng vy, c nhiu lc chng ta cm thy mnh b chm trong 1 m cng vic khng l n mc khng bit phi bt u t u? Ti phi bt u vi mn i s hay bi tp Lch s phi np vo tun sau? Cn bi kim tra mn a l vo th 6 ny th sao nh? Cn phi chuNn b ng c vo nhm nhip nh trong trng na ch? Vy nhng cng vic m mnh ha vi m th sao? Bn danh sch ny c th ko di mi y l 1 trong nhng l do khin bn tr hay chn ch n th.
2. C qu t thi gian
R rng, vi qu nhiu vic cn lm nh vy, qu thi gian ca chng ta tr nn t i. Nu chng ta ng 8h 1 ngy v 8h i hc trng th ta ch cn c 8h hon tt nhng cng vic ca mnh. V thi tr hon chng gip ch cht no cho vic hon tt nhng nhim v ca chng ta. Bn nghe ni v quy lut Parkinson cha? Theo quy lut Parkinson, cng vic lun t m rng lp y khong thi gian m chng ta n nh cho n. V th, nu ta c 1 cng vic cn phi hon thnh vo ngy mai th c kh nng ta s hon thnh n ng thi hn. Ngc li, nu thi gian hon thnh cng vic y c ko di n cui thng th rt kh nng n cui thng ny ta mi gii quyt dt im n. i khi, do c cho qu nhiu thi gian hon thnh 1 cng vic no , chng ta s chn ch v tr hon qu trnh thc hin n. Chuyn g s xy ra khi chng ta c vi cng vic cn phi hon thnh cng lc? Trong trng hp ny, chng ta ang phi i mt vi 1 vn thc s ln v phi gp rt lm vic hon thnh mi th ng thi hn. Ln n, ti c 2 bi tiu lun cn np vo cng 1 thi im. V khi y cn l ngi chn ch nn i n ngy ht hn mi lao vo lm. Ti lm lin tc t 9h ti n tn 4h sng hm sau v ch tranh th ng c vi ting trc khi n trng np bi. V bn c th tng tng ngy hm y ca ti trng th no khng? Nh 1 ci xc cht bit i vy! Vic chn ch s khin chng ta lng ph thi gian ca mnh v t lp li ci vng luNn quNn tiu cc do chnh mnh to ra. Chng c g l khi c nhiu ngi lun ming ni l h khng c thi gian!
3.2.
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Nu ang phi i mt vi 1 khi lng cng vic s, iu ta cn lm l t ra k hoch vt qua tng chng ngi ny. 1 phng php rt hiu qu l chia 1 vic ln ra thnh nhiu vic nh d gii quyt hn. Ngi ta t nhiu tn gi cho phng php ny, t Ct v thi, Salami hay Sashimi. Nhng v c bn, tt c u c cng 1 ngha, l gii quyt cng vic theo tng phn 1. phng php ny hiu qu, bn cn lit k tt c nhng vic mnh cn phi hon tt ra.
Hy chc rng, mi cng vic c chia u ra phi n gin, khng i hi qu nhiu thi gian v cng sc ca bn. Khi hon tt 1 cng vic no , hy xa n ra khi danh sch v tip tc thc hin nhim v tip theo. Hy duy tr tin lm vic ny v chng bao lu sau, bn s hon tt c ton b cng vic ca mnh! Hy th p dng phng php trn vo vic c cun sch ny. Hy vit ta ca 13 chng sch ra 1 mnh giy. By gi bn ang c chng 3, ngha l bn c xong 2 chng u (tr khi bn c theo kiu nhy cc). Vy th hy xa 2 chng u tin ra khi danh sch. Chng c g kh khn phi khng? V th, hy bt u lp ra danh sch nhng iu bn cn hon tt ngy hm nay v c th thc hin n.
S chn ch tch cc
C th bn cm thy iu ny tht l lng. Lm sao s chn ch li c th tt c c ch? Nhng hy nh khng phi s chn ch no cng tiu cc. Trn thc t chng ta c th luyn tp cch chn ch tch cc. Hy ngh xem, chng ta ch c th lm ngn y vic trong 1 ngy. Ngay c khi chng ta c nhiu cng vic cn hon thnh cng lc th ta cng ch c th lm tng vic mt. Vic chn ch tch cc cho php ta tr hon 1 s vic khng qu gp rt v tp trung vo nhng vic quan trng hn. Ni cch khc, vic chn ch tch cc cho php chng ta phn chia mc u tin trong nhng vic mnh cn lm. Vic hc cch dnh u tin i vi nhng vic cn lm l iu rt quan trng. N gip ra t chc cuc sng ca mnh tt hn. V th, hy bit cch t u tin bng vic xc nh u l vic cn lm trc v bt tay vo thc hin cng vic . Hy thc hin tng cng vic mt v hon thnh nhim v ca mnh. Kt lun : Khi b c ni vic nng, bn hy ra mt k hoch vt qua cm gic ny. Hy xc nh u tin cho tng nhim v v gii quyt tng vic mt.
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4.1.
Hy th nhn quanh cn phng v bn hc ca bn xem. Bn thy nhng g no? Nu bn nhn thy 1 cn phng gn gng v 1 ci bn ngn np th chng c l do g bn li khng bt tay vo lm cng vic cn lm c. Tht khng may, khng phi lc no chng ta cng c nhn thy 1 cn phng nh th. Hu ht thi gian, phng v bn chng ta u v cng ba bn vi y sch v v giy t - nhng ngi bn thn thit ca ta. Mi ngy, nhng chng giy t v sch v ca ta cng cht cao ln. V ba bn chnh l 1 trong nhng yu t khin ta chn ch. D nhin, vi ngi s ni rng h lm vic hiu qu nht trong s ln xn v ti thy c nhiu ngi nh vy tht. Nhng vn l nu bn thm ch khng th xc nh u l mt bn ca mnh th lm sao m bn bt u lm vic c c ch? V lm n ng c gng lm vic trn ging, bi v bn v ti u bit chuyn g s xy ra ngay sau - bn s u hng con Qui vy Kh Kh v m chm vo Vng t m mng trong nhy mt! Bn thn ti cng tng gp vn vi tnh ba bn ca mnh. Bn lm vic ca ti lun y sch v, giy t trong khi chic ging bn cnh li rt gn gng v lun mi gi ti ln nm. Vy ti lm g? n gin, ti chuyn tt c giy t, sch v ln ging c th lm vic bn v khng b chic ging cm d!
3. Chng u?
Bn c thng ri khi bn lm vic ca mnh i n k sch ly 1 loi giy t no khng? Sau khi bn ly c th mnh cn v quay v ch ngi th li nhn ra cy bt ca mnh bin u mt. Th l bn li ng dy tm cy bt. Sau khi bn tm thy n th chuyn g xy ra sau ? Bn nhn thy mnh khng c my tnh, t in, sch bi tp, giy lm bi, ti liu tham kho, ghim, bt xa, iu chc chn l khng phi ch mnh bn lm vo tnh hung ny. Ngy trc ti cng tng ri vo hon cnh tng t. Ti dnh qu nhiu thi gian i ti i lui v mt ph khi c ngi xung gh. Khi phi ti lui qu nhiu ln trong phng tm ti liu cho bi lun ca mnh, chng ta khng ch ang lng ph nhng giay pht qu gi m cn ang chn ch na. Thm ch, trong qu trnh tm kim ti liu, c th chng ta li tm thy my 1 vi th khin mnh mt tp trung. Ta c th tm thy my ci a CD yu thch hay 1 quyn k yu no b qun lu ngy v th l ta dnh cht vo chng. Vic ny s khin ta mt nhiu thi gian v thm ch cn khng th bt u cng vic ca mnh ch ng ni n chuyn hon tt chng.
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4.2.
Dn dp = Dp b th g
ng vy, y l 1 chin thut trc tip vt qua s ba bn qu mc. Tt c nhng g ra phi lm l dn dp! Hy dn dp ng ln xn trn bn ta. Hy dn dp nhng th vng vi khp phng ca ta.
2. To ra 1 mi trng tt hn
Hy dn dp gn gng bn hc ca bn v bo m rng mi dng ng v tr ca n. Hy vt b nhng giy t khng cn thit v nhng th h hng. i khi, chng ta li bing n mc vt nhng cy bt ht mc lung tung khp ni thay v b chng vo st rc. Hy bin ci thng rc thnh ngi bn tt nht cu bn v t 1 ci st rc nh th ngay bn cnh bn lm vic ca mnh. Nhng lu lu, bn hy nh rc 1 ln. C th bn s ngh rng : ni lc no chng d hn lm. Nhng chng ta c th p dng phng php chng 3 Lm tng vic 1. Bn c th p dng phng php ny dn dp bn lm vic ca mnh. Nu bn lm vic qu ba bn, bn c th lp ra danh sch nhng th ang b vt ba bi trn sau c th dn dp. Sau y l 1 v d : Nhng vic cn lm (dn dp bn lm vic) 1. 2. 3. 4. Dn dp sch v Sp xp giy t ln k Vt b giy t khng cn thit Dn dp tt c nhng th cn li
Nu thc hin theo phng php ny th ch A l hp l bn ca chng ta gn gng v ngn np! By gi, khi bn hc khng cn ba bn na th hy t ln tt c nhng dng c m ta cn. Hy u t 1 s dng vn phng phNm v hp ng. Bn cnh , hy m bo rng mi th chng ta cn u nm trong tm vi ca ta ch khng phi 1 ch no trong nh. Chc chn chng ai mun b thi gian chi trn tm vi chng u. Kt lun : Nu chng ta khng th tp trung t tng, hy th p dng cch thc sau : Dn dp gn gng bn lm vic v phng c ca ta.
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Chng 5 : Ni lon
S chn ch l nm m chn vi c hi.
5.1.
Bn khng hiu ti! Ti tng cm thy chng c ai trn i ny hiu mnh c. bao gi bn cm thy nh vy cha? Bn c cm thy rng chng c ai thc s lng nghe bn v tm n nhng iu bn ni? Bn lun b i x nh 1 a tr, lun c hng dn nn lm ci g v lm nh th no. Nu bn cm thy nh th th bn khng n c u. Hu ht bn tr u c chung suy ngh . H cm thy khng 1 ai hiu mnh, s thu hiu ca mi ngi vi h trng trn ging nh 1 trang giy trng. H cho rng cha m khng hiu h. Thy c, bn b khng hiu h. C th gii khng hiu h!
3. C ai s lm vic ny
Khi chng ta ni lon v tr hon 1 cng vic no th s c ngi cm thy y l 1 cng vic cn thc hin gp v th l h lm lun. Vy l chng ta khi phi lm vic na. Chng hn, khi bn khng chu mang tch xung nh bp ra, chc chn b m bn s bo em bn lm vic . V th, bng cch ni lon, bn c th c x theo kiu 1 ng vua hay b hong thc s, v nhng ngi khc s lm mi vic cho bn. Bn ngh mnh c th dng ci nhn thc y sc mnh ny ni lon v trnh khi phi lm vic g ht. C th bn s ngh rng y l 1 tng tuyt vi, nhng hy cNn thn. Ci tng hy ni lon khi phi lm vic l 1 suy ngh ht sc t hi v c th ph hng mi quan h ca bn vi anh ch en, cha m v bn b ca bn. Bn c mun iu ny xy ra khng?
5.2.
Tn trng = thc v gi tr ca 1 con ngi ph v tnh cch ni lon ny, chng ta phi hc cch tn trng ngi khc. Ti hiu y khng phi l vic d dng. C ngi tng ni rng s tn trng cn phi c tch ly. hiu c phng php hc cch tn trng ngi khc ra sao, chng ta hy th tr chi c tn gi Cn nhc hu qu. Tr chi ny i hi ta phi ngh n 1 tnh hung c th v xc nh nhng hu qu t tnh hung . V d, a s chng ta u thy m lc no cng cn nhn v l l do khin ta chn ch. Vy hy tng tng cnh chng ta loi b b m ra khi cuc i mnh. Liu cuc sng ca ta c c ci thin
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vt bc khng? Chc chn l chng cn ai cn nhn vi ta sut ngy na. Nhng chuyn g s xy ra n vi nhng kha cnh khc trong cuc sng ca ta? Liu cn ngi no nhc nh chng ta phi lm ci ny ci n, tm tp cho ta bng tnh yu thng v b bn, nu nhng mn n ta thch, chia s nim vui va ting ci vi ta khng? C th s c 1 ai lm cho ta nhng vic tng t nhng ti tin chc s chng bao gi ngi yu thng ta bng tnh yu ca 1 ngi m. Khi Cn nhc hu qu ca vic thiu vng 1 ngi no trong cuc i mnh, ta s nhn thc c tm quan trng v ngha ca ngi i vi ra. Ch khi , ta mi c th trn trng s hy sinh ca h v tn trng con ngi h.
1. Vi iu bn cn nhc
Hy hiu rng, cha m chng ta phi lm vic vt v chm lo cho ta, t vic nui nng ta cho n vic mua cho ta nhng vt dng ta cn, chng hn 1 ci my MP3. V th, hy trn trng s hy sinh v tnh yu thng ca cha m. Hy hiu rng cng sc v s cng hin ca thy c v li ch ca chng ta. S d h nghim khc vi ta cng ch v h lo cho ta. H tri nghim cuc sng nhiu hn ta v h bit rng hc thc v vic hc hi khng ngng l iu rt quan trng trong x hi ngy nay. Hy hiu rng khi thy c gio cho ta bi tp lm, h s phi chm bi ca c lp trong khi ta ch phi lm bi tp 1 ln m thi. Hy hiu rng bn b ta lun v ta. Hy tn trng h v tnh bn m h dnh cho ta. Khi ta gp rc ri trong cuc sng, h s bn ta v h tr ta v mt tinh thn. Hy hiu rng anh ch em l nhng ngi cng ln khn bn ta. Hy nh n nhng k nim vui bun c vi nhau t thi th b v ng nhng trn ci v nh nht nh hng n mi quan h gia i bn. Trong cun sch For One More Day, Mitch Albom nhc li cu chuyn v Charles Chick Benetto vn l 1 vn ng vin bng chy M nhng hin ang trong cn tuyt vng. Charles gp c hn ma ca ngi m qu c ca mnh v nh li nhng chuyn xy ra trong qu kh. Charles nh li nhng lc ng t ra bt knh v thng tnh yu thng vi b. Chng ta cng thng khng nhn thy s hy sinh ca cha m trong vic chm lo cho ta c ln ln trong tnh yu thng v hnh phc. Chng ta thng khng nhn ra v trn trng nhng iu tng chng nh nht m cha m dnh cho ta. ng t nh mnh s bt u by t s tn trng vi nhng ngi xung quanh vo ngy mai. Hy lm vic ny ngay by gi.
2. Hy tn trng bn thn
Bn cng ng qun tn trng chnh bn thn mnh. ng qun rng mnh cng ging nh tt c mi ngi v xng ng c tn trng. Nhng hy hiu rng, s tn trng cn phi c tch ly ch khng phi t nhin m c. V th, hy xem xt li cch c x ng mc, nhng ngi xung quanh tt nhin s tn trng ta. Vi 1 quan nim ng n, chng ta c th gii quyt c mi vic v vt qua c s chn ch. Kt lun : Vic ni lon c th l nguyn nhn khin chng ta chn ch. Hy tn trng ngi khc v trn trng nhng iu h lm cho ta. Hy bit tn trng bn thn v cho mi ngi thy gi tr ca mnh. V trn ht, hy chng minh iu ny bng hnh ng thit thc!
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Chng 6 : S hi
Trong ting Anh, t s hi (Fear) c nh vn l : False (sai lm) + Expectations (k vng) + Appearing (v ngoi) + Real (thc t).
6.1.
Ti sao li s hi?
1. Ti khng bit liu....
Khi khng bit liu cng vic s i hi mnh iu g, chng ta c xu hng s chn ch. y l iu hon ton bnh thng. Nu bn, mt ngi mi tp leo ni, c hun luyn ca mnh yu cu tham gia vo mt cuc thi leo ni cp quc gia, th ti chc chn rng bn s s n quu c li cho m xem. t ra th ti s nh th y! Bn khng bit liu mnh c kh nng lm c vic hay khng. Rt c kh nng bn s khng lm c hoc gp phi chn thng v khng tp luyn ng n. Khi khng chc chn v mt vic phi lm, chng ta s cm thy bt an. V n s khin ta chn ch.
2. Tng kt ca mi ni s hi
C th chng ta s rt nhiu th. Nhng ni s ny thng xut pht t nhng tri nghim khng my d chu khi chng ta cn nh. V d, vi ngi rt s ch v tng b ch cn; nhiu ngi th s nc si v tng b bng. Ti tng rt s bng ti v gn nh lc no n trong phng ti cng c bt sng. V th, khi cm thy s hi trc mt iu g , ta s c xu hng chn ch nu phi lm nhng vic c lin quan n ni s .
3. Chng ta c th s nhng th nh
Cc k kim tra Bi v chng ta thng b im km hoc chng ta s s b im km S khng hon ho Bi v chng ta lun l tng ha mi th Nhng iu cha bit Bi v chng ta cm thy thoi mi hn vi nhng iu mnh bit Mc sai lm Bi v chng ta khng th chu ni hu qu do sai lm ca mnh gy ra Thay i Bi v chng ta cm thy bt an trc nhng s thay i Thnh cng Bi v c th chng ta khng bit phi lm g sau khi t c thnh cng S chi b - Bi v chng ta khng chu c ni au ca vic b t chi
Vy l c qu nhiu ni s c th khin chng ta chn ch. y, chng ta khng th lit k tt c nhng ni s y ra c, nu khng, chng ta s bin cun sch ny thnh mt cun sch ni v nhng ni s hi v thnh mt cun tiu thuyt kinh d mt! iu chng ta cn lm l phi nhn thc c rng s hi l mt iu hon ton bnh thng. Vn l chng ta nhng ni s hi y ngn cn qu trnh vn ti thnh cng ca ta. Ti bit mt c gi tn l Angie. Ni s ln nht ca Angie l lm bi thi v bi kim tra. Mi khi sp c bi kim tra, c u cm thy v cng lo lng. Lc ny, mt chng ngi tm l hnh thnh trong lng Angie v khng ngng pht trin. Cui cng, vn ny tr nn nghim trng n mc c mun ngh hc khi phi lm bi kim tra!
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l sut mt thi gian di, ti chn ch khng dm gi. V qu thc, khi thu ht cn m em my truyn tranh i gi th ti b t chi. tht ng chn phi khng! Vy l phi mt mt thi gian di sau ti mi gi nhng truyn tranh k tip... Nhng sau cng th ti thnh cng!
6.2.
Nhn thc = Nhn ra s tn ti ca mt iu g gii quyt c vn do s s hi gy ra, trc ht chng ta phi nhn thc c nhng mi lo lng ca mnh v i mt vi chng. Nhn thc c ni lo lng ca mnh l mt chuyn; gii quyt chng li l chuyn khc. y, ti xin gii thit hai bc gii quyt ni s hi ca chng ta, do Rita Emmet,tc gi ca cun sch The Procrastinators Handbook, xut. Phng php ca Rita Emmet l t hi bn thn mnh hai cu hi : Cu hi u tin : Mnh s ci g? Khi t hi bn thn cu hi ny, chng ta ang tm cch xc nh nguyn nhn ni s hi ca mnh. Bng cch ny, ta s cm thy t s hn ng thi c th nhn thc c n mt cch r rng hn. Cu hi th hai : iu g s xy ra nu ni s ln nht ca mnh tr thnh s tht? Hy tng tng iu g s xy ra nu ni s ln nht ca ta tr thnh s tht. Khng nghi ng g na, chng ta s b tn thng v khn kh rt nhiu. Nhng liu chng ta c th vt qua c n khng? D nhin l c. Bng cch tri nghim v vt qua ni s ny, chng ta s trng thnh hn, mnh m hn ng thi t lo lng v ni s ny hn. Phng php ny rt hiu qu, v ti khuyn khch bn hy th p dng n S dng li khng nh Li khng nh l nhng cu ni ngn gn v tch cc m ta c th dng t ni vi bn thn mnh. Vic thng xuyn s dng nhng li khng nh s gip chng ta nh hnh li cch suy ngh ca mnh. Nhng li khng nh s thay th cho suy ngh tiu cc v dn dt chng ta hnh ng tch cc hn. Nu bn chm ch luyn tp v thng xuyn s dng li khng nh, bn hon ton c th lp y tm tr mnh bng nhng suy ngh tch cc. Khi bn ni vi bn thn rng mnh c kh nng v sn sng gii quyt mt cng vic no , bn s c ng lc bt tay vo hnh ng. Bn c thy mt vi vn ng vin lun lNm bNm iu g trc khi bc vo thi u khng? l lc h ang t ni vi mnh nhng li khng nh chuNn b tm l v tinh thn thi u nhm nh bi i th y Vic ni vi bn thn nhng li khng nh l vic lm rt d dng. Tuy nhin, bn cn lu mt vi yu t sau: 1) Chng phi ngn gn iu ny hon ton hp l. Ai m nh c mt cu khen ngi di ngong c ch, phi khng? 2) Chng phi tch cc iu ny cng hon ton hp l. Li khng nh mang tnh tiu cc chng nhng khng em li li ch no ht m cn gy hi cho tinh thn ca bn. 3) Chng phi c dng th hin ti iu ny rt quan trng. Chng ai li ni vi bn thn rng mnh tht tuyt vi trong qu kh nhng by gi th khng tuyt c.
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Sau y l mt vi v d v li khng nh: Ti cm nhn c sc mnh ca bn thn v ti c th lm c vic ny Ti cm thy mnh tht mnh m. Ti sn sng v rt ho hc mun c bt tay vo lm vic . Ti rt phn chn trc mi th thch ca cuc sng. Ti chng lo s iu g ht.
Hy a ra vi li khng nh ca ring bn v thng xuyn lp li chng trong ngy. Hy nhng li khng nh ny truyn cho bn sc mnh. Kt lun : S hi l mt cm gic hon ton bnh thng. Nhng iu quan trng hn l ta phi nhn thc c nguyn nhn dn n ni s hi ca mnh v i mt vi chng!
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7.1.
bao gi bn cm thy n c khi phi thc hin nhng cng vic thuc v nhim v ca mnh khng? Bn c cm gic mnh ang chng li c th gii khng? Cn phng cn phi c dn dp gn gng v ng ra bn phi lm vic ny v l phng CA BN. Bi tp v nh cn phi c hon tt nhng bn khng bit phi lm th no lm c iu . Bn cng chng bit n tp bi v th no trong khi k thi li ang n gn. Dng nh mi th u chng li bn. Bn nh mt con kin ang gnh trn lng sc nng ca c th gii. Nu bn suy ngh v c x nh vy, stress s sm h gc bn.
2. Cu hi v Stress
Bn c nhng triu chng sau y khng? Hy nh du vo ct C hoc Khng.
Triu chng
M t m i Mt ng Hay hi tng Gp c mng Hay git mnh v d hong ht Tm thi mt tr nh v khng c kh nng tp trung Phin mun D cu gin n khng thy ngon Bng cn co Nu bn c t hai triu chng ni trn tr ln th bn ang b stress y!
Khng
3. K vng qu cao
Ti sao im s ca con khng cao nh im ca con gi d Linda? Ti sao chu khng tham gia vo dn ng ca ni ting ca trng? Ti sao bn khng ti gii nh anh trai bn vy? Ti sao bn khng c chn vo i? Yu cu v k vng m mi ngi t cho chng ta thng rt cao. Mi ngi u ni v tm quan trng ca vic hc hnh n ni n chn cng nh vic phi tr thnh ngi tht xut sc. Nhiu bc ph huynh i hi con ci h rt nhiu iu. Mt vi ngi th li i hi rt cao bn thn h. Vi nhng k vng qu cao , chng c g l khi h b stress c! Nhng ngi b stress thng c xu hng chn ch v h lo lng v qu nhiu th. Nu khng c li khuyn v s h tr ca bn b v nhng ngi xung quanh, h cm thy mnh tht nh b v d b tn thng. Chnh suy ngh ny khin cho tnh hnh tr nn ti t hn rt nhiu.
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7.2.
ng tm hip lc = Hai hay nhiu c nhn kt hp li vi nhau mi lin kt gia h tr nn mnh m hn Ai bo chng ta phi mt mnh i mt vi th gii? Cch thc vt qua cm gic n c, lc li v v vng l hy tm kim s gip ca bn b. Khi c bn cnh bn b, chng ta s c ng lc v sc mnh sng to vt qua nhng thi khc chn ch. Xt cho cng th hai ci u vn tt hn mt ci u!
1. Nhm hc tp v mng li h tr x hi
Chng ta nn thnh lp mt nhm hc tp vi mt hay nhiu ngi bn vic hc ca mnh tr nn d dng v th v hn. i khi, chng ta s phi c ht ti liu ny n ti liu khc. Khi hc nhm, chng ta c th chia s nhng ti liu ny vi nhau v mi ngi ch cn phai tm tt mt vi ti liu m thi. Tuy nhin, hy m bo rng mi ngi u ng gp cng sc ca mnh vo cng vic chung cch hc ny thc s hu ch cho c nhm Nu c th, cc bn hy cng hc bi bn nhau. D nhin, c nhiu ngi thch hc mt mnh nhng s rt tuyt nu c ai cng ta th gin, gii tr sau nhng gi hc cng thng. C hai c th chia s vi nhau nhng kinh nghim hc tp hoc nhng thc mc v bi v trong qu trnh n tp cng nhau gii quyt. V c hai c th truyn ng lc cho nhau cng tin xa hn Ti vn nh qung thi gian ti cn i hc v phi n bi chuNn b cho cc k thi. Thi , ti c mt ngi bn hc tp chung lp. Chng ti thng ng vin nhau v kim tra qu trnh hc tp ca nhau. Thm ch, chng ti cn gi in cho nhau vo ngy thi khng ai ng qun m b l bui thi . Bng cch ny, chng ti vt qua nhng k thi mt cch tt p
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8.1.
Mt mi = Cm thy yu t, ui sc
Qu tht, chng ta c th cm thy rt mt mi sau mt ngy di lm vic ct lc, i hc trng hay tham gia cc hot ng th thao, vui chi. Cm gic ui sc c th chin thng ta, khin ta ch mun nm xung ngh ngi v th gin. Khi khng ngh ngi , chng ta s cm thy v cng mt mi. Hy tng tng mt ngy bn chy ti chy lui khng ngng lm ht vic ny n vic n. Nu bn tng lm cng vic chy bn th hn bn hiu cm gic ca mnh vo mi cui ngy. Lc y, chn bn s au nhi v bn phi ng sut c ngy. Khi mt mi, c th ta s khng c nng lng tip tc hay hon tt mt cng vic no . Ta ch mun c ngh ngi v nh mt gic tht ngon.
2. Ti kit sc qu!
bao gi bn th hc bi nh vo bui ti sau mt ngy di trng v thip i v mt mi cha? u bn gc xung tp sch trong khi cha m hay ngi no i ngang qua c th ngh rng bn ang tp trung cao cho vic hc ca mnh! Qu tht, vic tp trung tinh thn cao trong mt thi gian di c th khin ta kit sc. Nghin cu cho thy rng kh nng tp trung ca con ngi s gim i sau mt gi ng h u tin, v i vi mt vi ngi th iu ny c th xy ra sm hn! Khi tr c ta b kit sc, ta cm thy mnh khng cn cht ng lc hay nng lng bt u lm mt vic g na. Tt c nhng g ta mun l th ngi vo ci ging ca mnh.
3. Chn ngn mi th
iu ny khng lin quan trc tip n s mt mi v th xc hay tm tr. n gin l i khi chng ta cm thy chn ngn mi th m thi. C th cng vic no khng gy hng th cho ta, khin ta chng tm ra ng lc bt tay vo thc hin n. Nu ri vo tnh hung ny, iu ta cn lm l p dng mt chin thut khc, chng hn nh xc nh li t tng ca mnh thng qua vic Hnh dung chin thng (c ni n Chng 2) ph v tnh trng tr tr ca mnh. Chng ta cn phi thay i cch nhn nhn v cng vic ca mnh v tch cc hn khi thc hin cng vic .
8.2.
Th gin = Ngh ngi hi phc sc khe Tuyn b = Trnh trng a ra mt li ha v lm cho mi ngi xung quanh bit ti li ha Thc hin = Bt tay vo hnh ng theo iu ta ha gii quyt c vn mt mi, ti khuyn bn nn s dng Chin thut 3T. y l mt chin thut rt hu ch c th gip bn nh tan s mt mi v bt tay vo hnh ng! Chin thut 3T gm 3 phn :
1. Th gin
Khi mt mi, iu m chng ta nn lm l hy ngh gii lao. Ngh ngi. Ng mt gic tht su.
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Mt gic ng su chng 15 30 pht cho php tm tr ta c ngh ngi hon ton v thot khi nhng suy ngh v cng vic cng nh nhng vn ang khin ta lo phin. Sau khi ngh ngi hi phc sc khe, ta s tnh to hn v sn sng bt tay vo gii quyt nhng cng vic ang ch n mnh - c bit l nhng cng vic c yu cu v th cht. iu quan trng nht l ta phi tht sn sng, nu khng, ta c th t gy cho mnh nhng chn thng khng ng c ch v mt giy pht bt cNn.
2. Tuyn b
Sau khi ngh ngi xong (ng ni l bn c nm di ra mi nh), hy ni cho c th gii bit rng bn sn sng hnh ng. Hy tuyn b iu ny thnh li! Nu chng ta c mt vic cn phi hon thnh vo ngy mai, hy ni vi ai rng ta s hon thnh n vo ngy mai, thm ch l sm hn na. Bng cch ny, ta a ra mt li ha v cho mi ngi bit n n. Khi , ta ang t mnh vo v tr phi hon thnh n. Mt li ha c a ra v chng ta phi thc hin. Nu ta khng gi li ha ca mnh, danh d ca ta s b e da! Lc ny, ta s c ng lc bt u v hon tt cng vic.
3. Thc hin
Sau khi a ra mt li ha v ni cho c th gii bit n n, bc tip theo ca bn l hnh ng. Nhng li ni khng c bin thnh hnh ng th ch l nhng li ni sung. Chng ta cn phi hnh ng thc hin ha mi vic.
4. Mt hc sinh ha hn
Peter mt hc sinh ca ti rt sng d v y ha hn. Peter c nhng k hoch c th ci thin im s ca mnh v bit nn lm g t c iu . Nhng cu chng bao gi thc hin k hoch cng nh li ha ca mnh c. Sau khi a ra li ha v phc tho nhng bc i cn thit, Peter cm thy rt hi lng v coi nh cng vic c hon thnh! V th, chng c g l khi Peter chng bao gi hon thnh c mc tiu ca mnh. Chng c ngha l g khi bn ra rt nhiu k hoch v li ha nhng li khng tun theo chng. Kt lun : Nu mt mi, chng ta hy Th gin v ta xng ng c nh th. Nhng sau , hy Tuyn b vi c th gii v bt tay vo Thc hin.
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Chng 9 : Li bing
Nhng g c tng thng u l nhng g c hon thnh.
9.1.
Ti sao li li bing?
1. Ti ang i v u vi th ny?
i khi, s li bing s khut phc c ta, khin ta ri vo trng thi tr tr v tr hon vic hon tt cng vic ca mnh. Thc t l, tt c chng ta u c nhng lc li bing. N ch ty thuc vo vic chng ta con qui vt li bing nh hng n mnh nh th no m thi. S thc th nguyn nhn khin chng ta li bing l do cuc i ta thiu nhng mc tiu r rng. Nu khng c mc tiu r rng, ta s khng c ng lc hnh ng v tr nn chn ch Nu , bn s thy nhng ngi c ng lc lun c nh nhn rt tp trung v nhng bc chn y qu quyt. Ngc li, nhng ngi khng c mc tiu s thiu ng lc v tr nn li bing. Nu ging nhng ngi ny, chng ta cng c th lc li nh mt ci la bn b hng v khng bit mnh ang u. Khi chng ta li bing, chng ta s chn ch.
9.2.
khc phc s li bing, bn ch vic ngh n phn thng hoc nhng s khch l tuyt vi m mnh s nhn c khi hon thnh cng vic. Phn thng c th tr thnh ng lc mnh m thc Ny ta bt tay vo lm vic. Chng ta khng cn phi t ra cho mnh phn thng tht honh trng bi v c th ta s khng tin mua n. Hy bt u vi mn qu nh nhng tng xng vi cng vic m ta va hon thnh. ng chi n gian bng cch hon thnh mt cng vic n gin nhng li t thng cho mnh mn qu tht honh
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trng! Bn cnh , chng ta cng cn bit t kim sot bn thn, nu khng, c th ta s lun t thng cho mnh trong khi li chng lm c g nhiu c. Di y l danh sch nhng phn thng m bn c th tham kho: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) Xem mt b phim Nghe a nhc bn yu thch Gi in thoi cho ngi bn thn nht i chi vi bn b Chi tr chi in t m bn thch Chm sc cho th cng Thng thc mn n m bn thch Tn hng mt s thch no i mua sm Lm nhng iu bn thch (m khng cm thy ti li)
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Chng 10 :
10.1. V sao vn cha n lc?
Vn cha n lc = sau, khng phi by gi. Vn cha n lc u Ti cha sn sng. Vn cha n lc u Thi c cha chn mui
Tr hon
Thiu s chu n b
Bn c bit nhng vn ng vin in kinh nh Carl Lewis v Maurice Greene phi tp luyn trong sut nhiu thng tri, thm ch nhiu nm tri mi c th t c thnh cng vang di nh vy? Bn c bit trc khi tham gia cuc ua thc s, h phi khi ng trong vng mt ting ng h hoc lu hn c th hon tt cuc ua trong qung thi gian rt ngn, c khi cha n mi giy? ChuNn b l cha kha gip chng ta vt qua nhng iu m ta khng chc chn hoc e s. Khi chng ta khng th chuNn b tt cho bi kim tra trng, ta s ngh ra nhiu l do khng phi i hc ngy hm . Khi chng ta cha sn sng cho mt cuc thi, ta s cm thy bn chn v tm c thoi thc khng phi tham gia cuc thi . i khi, cc bn tr c qu nhiu vic phi lm n mc khng phi lc no h cng sn sng cho mi th. l l do khin h chn ch. Tuy nhin, cn nhiu l do khc c th gip ta l gii v sao con ngi ta li thng b cu ni: Vn cha n lc nh gc n vy: 1) H l ngi theo Ch ngha hon ho. (Chng 1) 2) H gp qu nhiu tht bi trong qu kh v cha sn sng n nhn thm bt c tht bi no na. (Chng 2) 3) H b cht chm trong ng vic. (Chng 3) 4) Mi trng lm vic ca h qu ba bn. (Chng 4) 5) H mun ni lon. (Chng 5) 6) H s hi. (Chng 6) 7) H khng th lm vic mt mnh. (Chng 7) 8) H mt mi c v mt th cht ln tinh thn. (Chng 8) 9) H li bing. (Chng 9) 10) H khng c kh nng lm vic. (Chng 11) 11) H m mt nhng chng trnh ti-vi. (Chng 12) 12) H lun vin c bin minh cho s th ng ca mnh. (Chng 13) Bn thy y, sc mnh ca cu Vn cha n lc c th h gc mt s ngi, v chng ta cn phi nhn nhn thc t ny.
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Chng 11 :
1. Ti khng kh nng
iu g xy ra khi ta thy bn b mnh t c im cao nht trong bi kim tra? Vi ngi trong s chng ta s ly lm ng lc c gng hn v gii nh h, nu khng ni l gii hn. Nhng cng rt nhiu ngi cm thy mnh khng gii nh bn b ca mnh. Nhiu ngi trong chng ta t ra chn ch v ngh rng mnh khng c nng khiu hay khng kh nng hon thnh mt cng vic no . Hoc cng c th chng ta s rng mnh khng th lm c vic g ra hn. Chng ta nghi ng kh nng ca mnh. Khi y, chng ta cng ng thi nghi ng chnh bn thn mnh. V iu ny dn chng ta n s chn ch. Nhiu ngi cho rng: Cuc i ny tht khng cng bng!. Tuy nhin, nu i cng bng th tt c chng ta u s t c im cao cht vt, yu thch chnh bn thn mnh v lc no cng hnh phc. Nhng thc t th iu ny khng xy ra!
2. Phc cm t ti
Phc cm t ti l mt trng thi tm l xy ra khi bn cm thy mnh khng c kh nng. Trng thi tm l ny thng rt nguy hi i vi lng t tn ca chng ta v tr thnh l do chnh khin ta chn ch. Nhng ngi c phc cm t ti cm thy rng h khng kh nng v s ly lm l do t ra chn ch. H ngh rng d n c gng n th no i chng na th h cng chng bao gi t c mc ch ca mnh c. V h lm g? H chn ch. Bn c phi l mt trong s h khng?
3. Ti tha sc lm vic ny
iu ngc li cng ng. Vi ngi trong chng ta c kh nng hon thnh mi cng vic c giao. Chng ta ngh rng mnh c th hon thnh cng vic m khng cn qu nhiu thi gian nh nhng ngi khc. Chnh v th, i khi chng ta t ra t tin qu mc. Bn bao gi chn ch khi sp bt tay vo thc hin mt vic g v nghi rng n qu d dng, ri sau bn nhn ra rng mnh khng c thi gian hon thnh n cha? Vn ca s chn ch l khi chng ta tr hon qu lu, chng ta s qun mt cng vic mnh cn phi lm!
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Vi thi ng n, chng ta s c c sc mnh cn thit lm c mi th. Vi thi ng n, chng ta c th vt qua c tht bi v xem nh mt qu trnh hc hi. Ngc li, thi sai lch v tiu cc s cng khin chng ta chn ch hn. Chng ta s tr nn bi quan v th ng trong cng vic. Vic c mt thi ng n cn quan trng hn c vic c kh nng. Chc chn l vic c kh nng s gip ta thc hin cng vic ca mnh nh nhng hn. Nhng nu khng c mt thi ng n, c th ta s khng tn dng c kh nng ca mnh v thm ch cn lm dng kh nng ca mnh na! Chng ta s t tin v kiu ngo qu mc. Kt qu l khng ai a ta c. Bn c mun tr thnh ngi nh th khng?
1. Vi mt na hay y mt na?
Nu ai lun suy ngh tiu cc v nhng s vic xy ra trong cuc sng, bn c ngh ngi ny s lm c bt c iu g khng? Anh ta s than phin rng cuc sng tht bt cng vi mnh v cau c v mi th. Mt trong nhng cch hiu qu nht hnh thnh nn thi tch cc l lun nhn vo mt tt p ca cuc sng. Bng cch lm ny, chng ta s hng s ch v nng lng ca mnh vo nhng th m mnh ang c. Sau , ta c th tp trung n lc t c nhng iu m mnh cha c. Ngay c khi gp tht bi th ta vn c th xem l mt tri nghim qu bu. Sau y l cu hi dnh cho bn : Bn ngh g khi nhn thy ci cc ny? (cc ch c 1/2 lng nc) Ci cc ny vi mt na hay y mt na? Nu bn ngh n vi mt na tc l bn ang tp trung vo kha cnh tiu cc ca vn . Ngc li, nu bn ngh n y mt na, tc l bn ang nhn vo mt tch cc ca n. V y chnh l thi tch cc m ta nn c. Trong tng lai, chng ta nn tp trung vo mt tch cc ca cuc sng v thu ht nng lng t . Nu lm c, ta s khng ri vo ci by ca s chn ch.
3. Th v ra
Ti ngh bn nghe cu chuyn ny t trc ri. Ni ngn gn, truyn k v cuc chy ua ca th v ra. Th chim u th r rt v gn nh s thng. Thot u, th chy rt nhanh v b xa ra. Th ri, qu t tin vo kh nng ca mnh, th tm mt ni ngh ngi v ng qun mt. Th chuyn g xy ra? Ra vt qua th v ginh chin thng trong cuc ua. Vy, ta rt c bi hc g t cu chuyn ny? Th c kh nng nhng li khng c thi ng n. Ngc li, ra tuy chm chp nhng lun theo st mc tiu ca mnh. R rng, c kh nng nhng khng c thi ng n s dn n nhng hu qu v cng tai hi.
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Kt lun : Thi ng n l yu t quyt nh gip chng ta loi b s chn ch v t c thnh cng trong hc tp cng nh cuc sng. Nu khng c thi ng n th d c kh nng chng na bn cng s chng n u c. Vi mt thi ng n, gii hn dnh cho bn l c bu tri!
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Chng 12 :
12.1. Ti sao li dnh ly ci ti vi?
Nhng cm d
2. S hp dn cht ngi
Hy ti hi bn mt cu: Bn c phi l mt ngi nghin ti-vi khng? Hy th lm bi kim tra ngn sau y: C phi bt ti-vi l iu u tin bn lm khi v nh khng? Bn c va n va xem ti-vi khng? Bn c dnh hn tm gi mt ngy xem ti-vi khng?
Nu tt c cu tr li ca bn u l C th xin thng bo : bn l mt con nghin ti-vi chnh hiu! Khng, bn khng nn qu t ho v bn thn nu bn l ngi nh th. Vic nghin ti-vi chng tt cho bn t no c. Bn cnh vic khin bn chn ch, n cn lm tng nguy c cn th v ph hy mi quan h gia bn vi nhng ngi xung quanh.
4. S am m i vi nhng mn in t
Bn cnh ti-vi, nhiu ngi trong chng ta khng th sng thiu in thoi di ng, my tnh, my PDA, iPod S tht l nhiu bn tr cn xem ti-vi bng my tnh ca h na. Nhng trang web chia s thng tin
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nh YouTube ang tr nn ngy cng ph bin trong gii tr. V ai c th khng bit vic nhn tin mt trong nhng tr tiu khin a thch ca cc bn tr? Khi nghin m khng c c nhng mn in t ny, chng ta cm thy mnh nh trng rng. bao gi bn cm thy trng tri v thiu thn khi qun mang theo in thoi n trng hoc khi ang i chi vi bn b? Bn c cm thy kh s nu khng th nhn tin cho bn b mnh vo mi ti? Bn c th tp trung lm bi tp nh m tai khng cn k k chic iPod khng? Dng nh chng ta khng th sng thiu nhng thit b in t ny. V v c mi m ui vi chng, ta c xu hng b mc tt c nhng iu khc ang cn n s ch ca ta. l l do v sao ta chn ch.
Ngy
Th 2
S gi xem TV
Chng trnh TV
Truyn hnh thc t - 1h Phim hnh s - 1h Phim tnh cm - 1h Hi kch - 1h
4h
Th 3 Th 4 Th 5 Th 6 Th 7 Ch nht Hy vit ra s gi bn dnh xem ti-vi mi ngy, v c tn chng trnh bn xem na. C th trong tun u tin, mi ngy bn u dnh bn gi ng h cho cc chng trnh truyn hnh mnh yu thch. Nhng sau , hy iu tit n mt cht thay v xem 4 chng trnh, bn hy chn 3 trong s chng xem thi. Nu p dng cch thc ny trong vi tun, bn c th ct gim mt cch hiu qu s lng thi gian bn dnh cho ci ti-vi y. Chin thut ny cng c th c p dng vi nhng mn in t khc. Hy gii hn s gi bn dnh ra cho my tnh hoc in thoi. Ti-vi v nhng mn in t khc c th rt th v, nhng hy coi chng. Chng c th gy nghin, khin ta xao nhng nhng vic mnh cn lm v tr nn chn ch. Hy hc cch cn bng cuc sng ca mnh. Hy nh rng, mi th ch tht s tt khi c iu . Kt lun : Ti-vi (v nhng mn in t khc) c th mang li cho ta rt nhiu nim vui v nhng giy pht gii tr thoi mi. Tuy nhin, ng chng kim sot ta. Hy gii hn thi gian dnh cho chng cn bng cuc sng ca mnh.
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Chng 13 :
Mt ngy no khng phi l mt ngy trong tun.
Vin c
1. m vin c ?
S d nhiu ngi t ra chn ch v h lun bit vin c cho vic khng chu hnh ng ca mnh. Con ch x mt v bi tp v nh ca ti ri Ti qun mt Ti qu mt Ti khng c khe Ti c qu nhiu vic cn phi lm Vin c l vic lm rt d v rt tin. Nhng ci c ch l ci c. Chm ht.
3. Ci c sau cng
Ti khng th lm n by gi, ti lm vic hiu qu nht khi c p lc. bao nhiu ln bn nghe thy hoc ni cu ni ny ri? Vy th khi no mi l lc tt nht bn lm vic? Nhng ngi a ra ci c ny mt ln na li tr hon vic sm hon thnh cng vic ca mnh. H tuyn b rng p lc s khin h c nhiu ng lc hn v lm vic tt hn. V chnh l l do v sao h chn ch.
Hy t hi bn thn : Liu mnh c thc s lm vic tt hn khi c p lc khng? C th i vi mt s ngi th ng l nh vy tht. Di p lc, h cm thy mu trong ngi mnh si sc v c th lm vic tt hn. Nhng vi nhiu ngi khc, p lc ch khin h cm thy hi hp v lo lng. Thm ch, h c th b ng cng khi gp p lc! Vy chng ta phi gii quyt ci c sau cng ny nh th no? Trc ht, chng ta phi xc nh rng nhng ngi dng ci c ny c th khng thc r v thi gian. H lun i n pht cui cng mi lm vic. Nu ri vo hon cnh tng t, ta phi thc c lng thi gian mnh cn b ra hon thnh cng vic cng nh ci ch m mnh nhm ti. Sau , hy lm vic git li. Khi thc hin theo phng thc ny, ta s bit mnh cn bao nhiu thi gian v s c p lc hon thnh cng vic khi hn cht ang gn k.
2. Lch lm vic li
Mt phng php m ti thy v cng c ch chnh l Lch lm vic li. Phng php ny cho php ta ln k hoch lm vic bng cch m ngc thi gian bt u t ngy cng vic c giao cho n thi hn phi hon thnh. Bc s tm l Rita Emmett gi phng php ny l Canh thi gian li. Chng hn, nu ta c giao 1 cng vic vo ngy 16 ca thng vi thi hn 10 ngy, ta c th ln Lch lm vic li bit mnh cn bao nhiu ngy hon thnh n. Hy vit s ngy trong thng ra, sau , to 1 ci ng h m ngc bt u t ngy nhn vic cho n hn cui phi hon thnh n. Tip theo, hy t ra nhng thi hn ph hon thnh nhng phn c th ca cng vic. V d, chng ta c th dnh ra 2 ngy (17, 18) nghin cu v 1-2 ngy tip theo phc tho phn sn cho cng vic. Phng php Lch lm vic li tuy n gin nhng rt hiu qu ta thc hin cng vic ca mnh theo tng phn nh. Chng ta c th nhn thy bc tranh ton cnh v cng vic ca mnh v hnh ng ngay lp tc. Vi phng php ny, chng ta c th nh bi c con b chn ch! Sau y l 1 v d ca Lch lm vic li :
Th 2
15 22 29 23 30
Th 3
16 Bt u 17 24 31
Th 4
18 25
Th 5
19
Th 6
20 27 26 Kt thc
Th 7
Ch nht
21 28
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Li kt
Chc mng bn c n phn cui ca cun sch ny. Qua 13 chng sch, ti hy vng bn hiu hn v s chn ch. Ti cng hy vng rng nhng chin thut m ti trnh bay s c ch cho bn khi bn i mt vi s chn ch. Sau y l 13 chin thut v t tng hiu qu gii quyt dt im s chn ch : 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) 11) 12) 13) Hy xc nh thc t khi thc hin cng vic ca mnh. Hy xc nh li t tng suy ngh mt cch tch cc. Hon thnh tng phn nh ca cng vic ang lm. Dn dp phng c, bn hc gn gng v tp trung vo cng vic. Tn trng nhng ngi xung quanh cng nh chnh bn thn bn. Nhn thc c ni s hi ca mnh v i mt vi chng. ng tm hip lc - hy hp tc v ly cm hng t nhng ngi xung quanh bn. Khi mt mi, hy Th gin, sau hy Tuyn b v Thc hin. Hy dng chin thut t thng c thm ng lc. Rn thi quen Ngay by gi. Hnh thnh thi tch cc i vi cng vic. iu tit s gi dnh cho ti-vi v nhng thit b in t khc. Loi b nhng ci c.
Nu bn c th thc hin theo nhng gi trn th bn s sm hnh thnh c thi quen tt cho mnh. Khi , bn s hon tt cng vic ca mnh v nh bi con b chn ch. Cn by gi, hy cng chc mng bc i thnh cng u tin ca bn trong vic thu hiu s chn ch vt qua c n. Chc bn nhng iu tt p nht!
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