Coca (Geraniales Family)

(see Coca Casefrom Sankaran Summit in StudyCases)

All the energy is in the mind
You have to PUSH harder and harder
Never allowed to say I am tired
A drill sergeant in my head
Like IRONMAN triathlon
Push harder push yourself
No pain no gain
Ability to endure long distances
Cannot withstand cannot endure
Sinking, weak, no strength to stand up
To be bashful
Hates liars and arrogant
Relieved by fresh open air
Needs to be cranked up
Opp: strength and stamina
Opp: shaky and collapse
REM: Coca
Geraniales Family
Exertion
Stimulation
Aggr from every effort to strive against it
Cheerfulness when walking in open air
Delusion he can run a long way
Desires feats of strength
Fear of falling
Fear of high place
Mania for work at night
Liar
Malicious
Sadness after exertion
Sadness form nervous exertion
Timidity; bashful *** (MAIN REMEDY)
Work; desire for mental
Desire for physical activity
Lots of energy and increased endurance
Desire for meat
Salty food aggr
Fast movement in open air
Walking with quick steps
Sleeplessness form excitement
Sleeplessness from exhaustion
For exhaustion of brain and nervous system from over-exertion
Desire for physical exertion
Courageous
Tough and bold
Geraniales : ENDURANCE
Active, movement, bold
Example: marathon runners

Coca

(Geraniales Family)

To withstand
This is the strength she speaks of
I dont have right to live unless I have a challenge
Very little need for nourishment
I walk the room with great strides
I feel buoyant and flexible
Cocainemore hallucinations
Not so much ecstasy and bliss
Coca is about endurance stamina
CASE from Sankarn Summit (unsure if was Coca case) (but putting in SC anyway) (has the feel)
CASE - LIVE
Weak shakey
Like going to pass out
Worst headache
Heat in room
Dead from here down
Stops right here scream get hot
Makes me want to blow up (HG)
No thirst, no hunger
Never have hunger huge thirst, drink gallons and gallons of water
Worst hangover when wake
Quite a while to get going
I have to work out every morning or cant get going
Weakness from here down
The energy explodes out of body up (HG)
Vicious cycle, salty meat, gallons of water
Shakes really bad
Holding a pen and writing is too much
What is not working inside
Like I had ten cups of coffee
(HG) ON, mind is always ON
Close eyes, inside eyes are ON!
Out this way!
Really ANGRY
Couldnt quit laughing about it
Stops here and comes back up! (HG)
Sugar and salt, salt then drink water, back and forth
DRY, DRY lips, nose,
INTENSITY
Faster and faster and CANT STOP
Keep going, legs going, shaking
Cant sleep
HATE TO SIT! keep moving or sit down
ANSY have to keep moving - I want brain to shut off
I want to be normal
I know where everything is
Everything I do I excel at
I give it my all not just little piece I have to know the whole thing
I NEVER FORGET anything

Coca

(Geraniales Family)

I hear things verbatim in mind

WHATEVER COMES TO YOU
Tired of cranked up
Bounce off walls
Only worse unless I exercise ride ten miles in
order to fall asleep
I have to get rid of energy the stream, the explosion
Then everyone would see me shake
I get HOT lips more chapped
Least anything sets me off
Used to be able to ride 50 miles
Interferes with workouts too
DESCRIBE EXPERIENCE OF CRANKED UP
Like 10 cups of coffee, like cocaine
Heart pap, face hot, shakes, weakness, a RAGE
inside
Its weakening me instead
WHEN SAY ALL IN MIND - WHAT DO YOU
MEAN
Energy trapped here to here (HG)
Comes back up
Explode, bust, scream
Spasms in chest
Vise, tightening, (HG)
HOW DID IT START?
Pushing myself too hard, forcing myself to do
things
Couldnt quit working for mom, leave her in bad
spot
You can push harder
TELL ABOUT PUSH MYSELF TOO HARD
If it needs to be done you do it
Always a drive, still more, I can push harder
TELL PUSH HARDER
I always have a reserve
You dont say cant you WILL and you DO
DRILL sergeant in my head
TELL ABOUT THIS DRILL SERGEANT
Do it faster, ride 50 miles
More better, my dogs better than yours, my car is
shiner than yours
Better than everyone
Weakness if too tired
TELL ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT MORE HAVE
TO BE BETTER THAN EVERYONE
Im competitive, if Im not better
I beat out all the women, too upset for not beating
out all the men
So competitive
DESCRIBE BIKE RACES
Like 30 miles, ride fast as you can

WHAT IS NEEDED TO
PARTICIPATE
Prove yourself
Ironman
Super-elite prove that
you are worthy
Dont have to prove you
are an elite-athlete
Not worthy I good
have done better, I should have pushed harder
Shouldnt have been so weak
Beyond what is comfortable to excel
No pain no gain
PUSH harder
Steel trap push push always on
TELL ABOUT CHILDHOOD
Dad was drill sergeant
Dictatorship least little bit blow up
Slammed against the wall
Awlful
HOW DID IT FEEL TO BE IN THAT SITUAITON
A kid couldnt do anything about it
No control of situation terrified
As long as he was home
They were scared,
(snap) you had to be there or you were in trouble
NOW, I dont want to wait 5 seconds
So impatient
You cant control
DESCRIBE THE MIND HAS THOUGHT IT IT
HAS TO BE DONE NOW
My head is going to bust because it takes too long
to move your hands and raise the zipper
He couldnt sleep until things are fixed
Until things are right
DREAMS DURING CHILDHOOD
Im running, legs floating thru the air and Im
barely touching the ground
I want to go faster and faster
My legs wont go faster
I want to hit the ground and go faster
Legs go faster and faster
More flying than running
WHAT IS EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU WANT TO
GO FASTER
Come on gd it (E)
I WANT YOU TO DESCRIEB THE EXPERIENCE
OF IT
I want to explode

Coca

(Geraniales Family)

WHAT IS EXPLODE JUST WORD EXPLODE

Enough inside pieces would fly (HG)
That much combustion I have to harness that all
the time
Harness it keep it in
DESCRIBE THAT TO KEEP IT IN
Wrapped tight
Id destroy everything around me keep foot on it
so it doesnt come up
WHAT IS C4 EXPLOSION

this

In dark places with

people pointing guns at
me
Like attacking me
Its dark
People coming out at
me
On pins and needles waiting for someone to attack me
Terrified
OTHER DREAMS
Sent to jail for something I dont want to be con- I want out just like as kid with dad
So angry!
fined (HG)
Just waiting for something to jump out at me
DESCRIBE CONFINED
For something bad to happen
Not being able to do what I want
Cant relax waiting to be attacked
JUST WORD CONFINED, WHAT DOES IT
Shakey
MEAN
Like legs give out
Held back, held in
Loss of strength
DESCRIBE HELD IN A LITTLE BIT MORE
DESCRIBE LOSS OF STRENGTH
pressure
I can feel muscles shakey like you could colA LITTLE BIT MORE HELD IN PRESSURE
lapse
I want ot be free, held in is opposite of free
Because so weakened by whatever
WHAT IS EXPERIENCE OF HELD IN AND
PRESSURE
ANY OTHER FEARS SITUATIONS THAT
Bursting at the seams
HAVE BIG IMPACT ON YOU
It all needs to come out
If they were thinking if they were smarter
TELL MORE HELD IN AND COME OUT
15 years ago Parkinsons mom dying
Seams in material spurt out and trickle out
Like I cant take any more
It needs to all come apart
I didnt trust
I want to be free, no constraints
So nervous in the brain
To not worry
I wanted to kill the board of directors at credit unHOW DOES FREE FEEL
ion
I dont know (tears)
They were destroying the credit union
WHAT ARE YOU EXPERIENCE AT MOMENT
WHAT WAS YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THAT
I want to run around and kill you
SITUATION, WITH MOTHER, WITH FATHER
So much rage
HOW WAS IT FOR YOU
Like going to explode
Nervous in brain, nervous any where
All stuck right here
Solid a rock
If I could take real breaths and totally inhale and
Strength and stamina and power
exhale then maybe I wouldnt be so explosive
Rock is not going to collapse
Solid can withstand anything
I hardly slept when I was a kid took me 3-4
Indestructible
hours to fall asleep
Vibrancy
Nothing going to hold me back, keep me down
DREAMS
I look like Im nervous
Im a prisoner in my own body
Afraid of heights get shakey
Im shy
Afraid get dizzy and fall
Afraid of saying something people think Im stupid
I lose my bearings when stressed
Dont want to be ridiculed
ANY height at all
Im funny, sharp as a tack Im witty
Getting dizzy and falling over railing envision

Coca

(Geraniales Family)

Im confident
Unsure, uneasy
WHAT IS THE EXPERIENCE< WHAT IS BEHIND
THAT?
Your dad belittling you
Like stepping on you (HG) the wind taken out of
your sails
Flattened nothing left
Sinking
Bleak, weak and sinking
In stomach sinking feeling
Their fist in you and pushing down
Like been kicked in gut and all air knocked out of
you
Like Im going to cry
Like dont have strength to stand up
Constant battle to stand up and be strong when
something pushing you down
Constantly fighting to keep it up
WHAT DOES IT TAKE?
Strength everything I have
Drill sergeant need to not show weakness
Options keep fighting or lying down and die
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO KEEP FIGHTING?
Every bit of energy that I have
Will power
Want to drink gallon of ice water
Who knows what they think
If they dont know you
Im safe at home Im a homebody
Never left my dogs before
Spending money I shouldnt be spending
HOW ARE YOU WITH COMPANY
Im fine around people but need to be on my
own
I like to be by myself and with my dogs
And with my music
Like hard driving beat
I feel something
The bass gives me energy makes me feel alive
I like noise
I dont like loud bangs
So much energy in brain I need something to
equalize it
The dead silence drives me crazy
The music drives out the on-ness in my brain
COLORS?

Like spring colors

Very very neat everything is in its place
Everything is in its
place sterile
No matter how tired I
am kitchen has to be
cleaned up
Everything is in its place
I like animals
They are descent
Not going to stab you in the back
Dont judge you they are true (tears)
No hidden agenda with them
Not going to stab you in back not out to get you
Somebody that wants something
Ly to get what they want
Do what they have to do to get what they want
I dont like liars
WHATS A LYER?
You cant trust
Selfish only care about themselves
I dont want nothing to do with them people who
are liars
Arrogant head up butt
TELL ABOUT ARROGANT
So self involved, they dont care about other people
WHAT DO YOU REALLY ENJOY
Moving, walking my dogs, moving, music
(end of interview)