readme: free

readme
issue #7,000,005
Readme or ReadMe: $3 Oct. 1 -Oct 6.,~2003

www.activitiesboard.org/readme
Carnegie Melton's leading source of sexy results since 1895 -brought to you by the Activities Board

Carnegie Mellon Appoints a Vice

Provost of Inconvenience
On Tuesda~T, CMU students discovered a new cane, the same one that he uses the beat kit-
position. Then after they were done having tens. So readme lit a bag of dog crap on fire
exciting sex theyT discovered that a new Vice and left it outside his office.
Provost had been appointed. Ron Stone,
readme reporters have learned, was hired in "So that's why all the laundrjT machines are
Ma~T of 2003 as the Vice ~ ~ broken and the change
Provost of Incon-
~` ~~
„ machines keep giving me
venience. Stone was Canadian quarters, said Got your spleen!

Dr. Pepper Sued

responsible for man~T Candi White, sophomore
changes on campus this cherrustry mayor. "Then the

for Malpractice
Near that suck. The most spruzklers in mj7 room went
recent include this gear's ~~ off for no reason and
inabilin7 to print to cluster destro`~ed all of my posses-
Sophomore undeclared l~lellon
printers from personal sions. Come on man, this is
College of Science student Judd
computers, a DDR wa~T past ulconvenlence."
74 i+^^►

Wyman announced j~esterdajT lus intent

machine in the UC that readme has learned that
to sue the Dr. Pepper Company, on the
students have to pajT for, White was this weeks target
grounds that t11e Doctor did not pro-
and the new mail center for Stone's weekljT "Ruin
vide adequate medical assistance as
that requires everjTone to ~~~ ~` One Students Life" plan.
promised.
walk much farther to get ~~~~~~~~
their mail and wait in longer lines for their The new Provost plans to solidif~T his position
"It was, like, 2 r1M, and I asked the
packages." with more innovations on making the lives of
doctor to pep me up. I said, `yeah, doc,
students suck including building a moat filled
I wanna be a pepper, too,' and I totally
"Mr. Stone is the man behind all of the with piranhas around the UC, taking all the
had a can. 1~nd I totally fell asleep two
improvements to making `Tour lives as hard as curtains off of the communal showers,
hours later. rind I totally failed my
possible," said President Jared Cohon. "He installing new sprinkler syTstems ever~T week,
test." ~-ldding three more sentences
feeds on your misery and bathes in your tears." knocking down the kick ass fort on The Cut,
which consisted mainl`~ of repetitions
Stone was unavailable for comment because and tons ~of other stuff that all establish the
of the word "totalltiT," Wyman fell
he was off somewhere hitting puppies with his same point.
asleep again, citing I~Tath Studies as a
reason.
Philosophy Professors Replaced with Cups of Dirt
Dr Pepper himself, via telephone,
The Dean's Office for cups of dirt to teach us this ~,`~\\~:
when asked bjT readme to provide a
Humanities and Social crap." Further research indi response made it clear that, "That
Sciences made an unexpected cated the remaining 30% of dude's just got a sleeping problem. I've
decision last week when it students were cups of dirt. been drinking my product for seven-
announced that, due to budg- teen jTears, and have not slept at all.
et cuts, it would be replaci~~g The dirt will go through a two Ever. Not once."
all of CMU's philosophjT pro- week crash course entitled
fessors with cups of dirt. The "It's Not Spelled With r'Ln F: ~3sked if 11e could supplyT an affidavit
;:.
cups will be standard 8 oz. Philosophy and You" taught to that account, Pepper refused, stating
clear plastic cups filled with b~T self-help guru Ton~T that the amount of caffeine in his sjTs-
!'ve had dates with more
dirt. Some matiA contain earth- Robbiizs to earn an honorary personality tem made it necessarjT to urinate every
worms. Wack~7 Doctorit of lege professor. 15 to 20 minutes, and as such, he could
Philosophy and teaching cer- not withstand long car rides. When
Over 70% of last semester's tification. l~Tr. Robbins has Students' reactions are mixed, readme reporters called back to ask
Department of Philosophy been developing this course but much positive feedback more questions the next da~T, Pepper
Faculn7 Course Evaluations with the country's brightest has been received, along with repeated, "~~-~-up, sa~T-venteen Tee-arrs.
stated clearljT the students minds in philosoplzyT and several approving Yee, haw!" in a much j7ounger-sound-
desire for more sentient life assures CMLJ it will do a "BR~~~.~-1HHHHHHHHH- ing, higher-pitched voice. risked if he
forms in the teaching role, beyond adequate job of giv- HI-IHHHH"'s from the stu- was 1c7ing, the Doctor replied "Yes,
and a major-it<~ specificall~T ing these cups of dirt an edu- dents who are in fact cups of shut up," and hung up the phone.
requested, "Just use frickin' cation comparable to a col- dirt.
Issue 7,000,005
RIAA Sues 12-Year-Old 60-Year-Old Man Fraternity To Hold
Last Tuesday, the ~, who are notorious
for clubbing baby seals and eating the
dreams of children, sued another 12 year-
old girl for downloading and sharing MP3's.
This is the second part in the RI1~'s plan to
sue tons of little girls who are cute and rep-
resent the youth of America. Jessi
Cutesmith, the 12 year-old in question, was
caught sharing Justin Timberlake and Lipkin
Park songs with other angsty pre-teen girls
who hate their parents.
However, what the RI1~ does not know
about Jessi Cutesmith is that she is actuall~T a
60 year old man whose real name is Jeff
McSkeezy, was confused by the lawsuit
addressed to his "young, innocent, and will-
ing" alter-ego. Even more confused was his
wife, who maintains that Jeff does not have
sick fantasies of luring other perverted men
into cyber-sex on r10L. Jeff was caught in
the "done at Home" chat room trying to
share his music and love of having other
guys tltink he's a little girl.
When the RIB heard that Jessi was actual-
Articles We May Write Later. They're Here So
We'll Remember Them
CMU Constructs Construction Site
Boomerang Makes a Comeback
Gay Squirrel Really Likes Nuts
A Person nion
Which readme itor Wou
. ........:r:,
;~::::::
!Q!DtA{Y,..y ........
"Guido"
Chris Smoak
- readme p. 2 -
:~A~~:~:•:
. ...:
r~:n•~. ~~t~<.°:
~~><
k_ ..,._..
I think that's my grandfather
l~T Jeff, they retracted the suit and offered
him a job. "Jeff is the t~~pe of team player
we're looking for over at the Tom. He has
the people skills and mindset we really like
in an employee. He'll be all the rage on
Fetish Friday," said a member of the RI~~.
Jeff isn't planning on taking the job because
he prefers a more "in the closet" sort of
fetishism. rind lube. Lots of Lube.
Comma Adds Humor to Headline,
Joke
Tartan Beats readme in Best Fake
Publication Constest
:a See Naked?'
p. ,
"I'd say Guido" "Mmm... Guido"
Brian Leahy
October 1 -October 6
"Chug-A-Thon"
Charity Event
.After witnessing the success of Kappa Delta
Rho and Kappa Kappa Gamma's Quarter
Mile of Quarters charit~~ event, other organ-
izations have given thought to hosting their
own philanthropic events.
:. :
Sigma Nu's philanthropy chair, r11ex Davis
said, "When I first heard of Quarter Mile o f
Quarters, the first thing I thought was
`Sweet, dude, that's a huge game of quar-
ters,"' referring to the popular drinking
game. "We could, like, play quarters for char-
ity7. end the last person to puke wins a p~.ze."
Another popular charit~T event, the Wing-r~-
Thon, hosted btiT .alpha Epsilon Pi, is a buf-
falo wing-eating contest held at Quaker
Steak in Robinson. "Dude! Chug-rl-Thon!
That would be the huge balls. You see how
many cans of Nattie you can chug in half an
hour without puking," said David. "rind the
winner gets a case of PBR. No, wait. Two
cases! Dude, we're so doing this." The Chug-
~-Than is scheduled for November 31st in
Wean 7500. Proceeds will benefit Pittsburgh
Children's Hospital.
Other upcoming events include Dritzk For
the Cure, which will be followed shortl~T by
Puke for the Cure and Piss for the Cure.
Date Rape for the Cure was originally sched-
uled to coincide with Drink for the Cure, but
has been canceled due to Whiskey Dick for
the Cure.
.:r:.::rvr:rr:::.:::.r::.::.:.:
•''t _
"Chris Rotella is s000
Fred Merkle sexxxy"
Chris Rotella
Issue 7,000,003 -readme p. 3 - September 17 -September 23

readme Sports: Letter to Weather Poll O' The Week

COmpu73r $c!3nc3 !M
T34m DOm!N473$,
H4k$ Your COmpu73r,
4nd 7yp3$ !n 1337
Wlti].e volleyball and football teams fought
amongst themselves during their IM play-
offs, the "@pple Tarts," CMU's Computer
Science IM team, poured their blood,
sweat, and lack of "nor~rnal" social skills
into winning their first IM championship.
Despite injury and general lack of atten-
tion, the Tarts came in first place in the
2003 National Instant Messenging Bowl.
The Bowl consisted of three grueling lev-
els of competition. The first involved
transferring photos of Internet girlfriends.
After elimination based on that round, the
remaiivng teams moved up to the second
competition: seeing which team could raise
the other team's warning to 100% the
fastest.
"That was so easy," scoffed sophomore
Omar McGee. Moments later, McC~-ee's
ponytail got caught it1 a door, where he was
stuck for hours. "I love watching these kids
sgzrir~n. They think they're so goddamned
smart," said a passerby, who then spit at
McGee and said, "Program ~~our way out of
that!"
Down one team member, the Tarts
advanced to the final round of competition
at a disadvantage. The final round consist-
ed of a relay of four events: Rebooting,
Standing Next to a Prett~s Girl, Applying
Deodorant to the A~~jo~liate Locations,
and Hacking Into Jared Cohen's Blog. The
'Tarts emerged victo~ous, and, for their
efforts, received an optical mouse and sev-
eral stain-free t-shirts.
Dear Weather,
we asked 24 people
Are Those Real?
Wl~y is it so cold here? The CMU brochure made it Girls:
look like it was 80 and sunny all yTear. But since I've
been here, I've seen nothing but 65 and rainy. What
up with that?
Yours,
Cold in Pittsburgh
Letter from Weather
Dear Whiny Bastard,
This is your warning. I'll be showing up prett~~ soon
and I'm not taking shit from any of you. You don't
like it? Why don't j~ou go to the Qatar campus? I bet Boys:
it's warm there. This is mj~ house and I like to snow
and shit and make it all cold. But then, just to throw
you off, one dajT it'll be realltiT nice out, and you'll all
go outside and throw your Frisbees, and then BAM!
RAIN! x111 over your asses. And Lightning too. In
conclusion, CMLJ is never gonna cancel classes
again, you got that last year. I'll make sure you get
pneumonia. Booyah.
Sincerly,
The Weather
A Crazy Person's Opinion: Archi's are Insane
Ah, architecture. The field of dreams, so to ONE!! TIN'S BLOODY WPIO!!... or is it
speak. Sure, join the arclv.tecture program! "whom?"... wadeva. I hate mj~ life, and I'm
Build your own houses! Build other people's just going to have to get used to it. Listening
houses!! N000!! Draw BLOODY to "Stairway to Heaven" 20 times .a day in
PUNTS and make DAMNED MODELS studio, bleeding from the ear, wild archi
o f the BLOODY PLANTS over and over orgies, and the loss of your immortal soul
and over again. It's like being raked across might sozrn~l fun, that I can see, but I assure
hot coals over and over again... except with- you, it can be very painful. Somewhat like
out the pain, char~.-ing of flesh, or blister- NAILS on a CHALKBOARD Like in my
ing... at least physically. Archi's are, for BLOODY calculus recitation at DAl~~TED
starters, most definitely insane. Two steps 8:30 in the UNHOLY morning... But that's
awa~T from drooling in cups. Honestly, who another rant... for, perhaps... another...
in their right mind can draw plants day in day? Anyway, the sex mad- be great and kinky
and daj~ out and maintain their sanit~~? NO and all, but all in all, Tae Bo just isn't for me.

E & Writi~ Staff

Harvest Cheddar: Chris Rotella
French Onion: Muffin, Aileen D'Esposito, Dana Vinson, Chaos, Greg Modzelewski, Brian Leahy,
Brian Gray, Ashley Holtgraver, Bhiago Bersan, Esteban Bowles-Martinez, *, Andrey Dolgov, Alison
Lauer, Yuhua Li, AB Hair Chris Smoak, Fred Merkle, Nazli Kfoury, Alisa Brown, Zachary Harris,
James Troup, Tuscan Knox, Katie Wallat, Mike Blain, Evan Sundwick, and Karthik Parasuraman
What is readme? Well, it's funny and it's useful. And free. So it's better than sliced bread. activities board
Who makes it? readme is printed bjT the Activities Board, sponsored by your student activities fee
Where do !get it? readme is handed out at AB events and left in stacks around campus
Online: www.activitiesboard.org/readme
How do I help? Email crotella ~r andrewcmu.edu. We need funny writers, non-funny writers, and Photoshopers
And remember: We're done... with sex~T results... in bed.
Issue 7,000,003
This is the True section, where we tell you how to live your life
AIM Pays Off:
readmecmu talks to Ghushe007
He Thinks Michigan is Racist
~eadmecxnu: readme is here
readmecmu: l~~,ve no fear
Ghushe007: that was clever
readmecmu: it was backvwards
Ghushe007: the wa:~g you used a word
that rh~7mes Frith liege, pure ge~.3ius, ~~vu
can tell.. ~Tou go to C
read~necrnu: hey=, hey=
Ghushe007: ha13a
readmecmu: tliats ~a.rnegie mellon un~-
Velslt`T
readmecmu: not cniu, we don't ~vaxi~a.a
rxiake central miclii~an mad
GhusheUO?: do tlie~T own the rights to
that o~• .something? .
Lost NYC Subway From Ghostbusters Found
Do jTou remember that scene in
Ghostbusters 2, where they dig a big hole
in the middle of Broadwaj•y and find a
river of slime that is all the negative emo-
tions of New York CitjT given pllj7sical
form, and is part of tiTigo the
Car-patliian's attempt to take over the land
of the living? Well someone just found it!
Granted there is no fiver of slime, and it
is not nearly so well preserved as the
movie made it out to be, it's still been
"lost" for almost 100 jTears.
The tunnel iiz question is the Beach
Pneumatic Transit Sjrstem. In 1870,
l~lfred Beach, founder of Scientific
~~me~can, secretljs built New York Cit<a's
first subway, to prove his concept was
viable. Tlie subwa~a had onl~T one stop,
and the tunnel was onl~T about 300 feet
long, but it was still the first. Instead of
having a train that drives underground,
Beach had a single subwajT car, that was
sucked and blown down the tunnel much
like those tubes that banks and Home
Depots used to have. UnfortunateljT, Boss
Tweed, New York's government leader at
the time, and his political machine
opposed the idea of a subway s~astem, so
authorization and funding to expand the
project never appeared. It wasn't until
1900 that NYC began building its subway
sjastem. The last record of the tunnel was
from 1912, when workers digging the
new Bl~ZT tunnel ran into it, possibljT
destroying all or part of it.
11n~~va~Ts, ~,1~T friend from back home
-readme p. 4 - September 17 -September 23
Ghushe007: ghat has central michigan
.ever done -.for anjone?
readmecmu: 3Tea
readmec~rnu: theta sued us a couple of
.Nears ago
Ghushe00'7: vrow
Ghushe007: what about cmu.edu?
Ghushe00?: thafis usI
readmecmu: Chats the. onlc~ thing we
.have
readmecmu: notice -how notl~j~ng ever
sa~7s cmu in the bookstore?
J
.Ghushe007: bu.11sl~~t~, i'll tell 3Tou why
t11e~7 wont ].et us use CI~.ILJ
Ghushe007: its cuz the (a are racists
<..}.r,...<.~..
found the building which originallja
housed the passenger wait>lzg area and
the control room. This building was sup-
posedl`- buiizt down iiz the early 1900s,
but apparentljT the basement and founda-
tion survived, because after talkifig the
buildif~g's superintendent Mario (no joke)
into taking him down, he found a bunch
of original equipment. Some of the or-ig-
iizal Roots blowers and the steam engines
which powered the fans are still there,
along with some floor tiling and engine
controls. The access to the tLuinel is
blocked off, b~F brickwork dating back
100 years or more, but there is a manhole
outside which ConEd has no record of.
So now m~7 friend has legal rights to the
manhole and whatever is underneath it
(NYC will just give ~aou that for like $30
if no one else has claimed it, and they
don't decide the~T want it back sometime)
and he's mounting an expedition next
week to see what's left. If there's anjrthing
paranormal, we'll keep jTou posted!
Cheap Movies at
McConomy
All the nights, brought to you by AB, except
Saturday which is SDC. 1 Buck.
Wednesday: Horns and Halos 8, 10, 12
r1B Political Speakers and r1B Wednesday Films
bring j~ou something ~aou'd never have expected at
an academic establishment: Bad thiizgs being said
about the president. Well, reall~~, it's a movie
~~3B®UT saying bad things about the president,
not realljT a movie where tlleja DO, per se. We pres-
ent to j7ou: The movie about the making of the
book about the Dub~~a.
Thursday: Northfork 8, 10, 12
If jaou lived in Montana, there wouldn't be much
to do, ~glit? Just sit around and tell stofles, or
sometlii.ng. Except when tlie~~ decide to build a
dam iti j7our hometown, meaning ~Tou and ever-~a-
one you know are evicted from ~=our house.
ILeeping with the theme of Thursda~~s this semes-
ter, this movie also contains unhapp~~ endings and
people in comas.
Friday: THE MATRIX RELOADED 7, 10, 1
Do jTou know what, in campus histor-~T, the movie
that sold the most tickets was? FINDING
MEMO! WI-i~T THE HELL? This Friday, we're
expecting tiaou, ~;our girlfriend, and Ken from
misc.market who finall~a found a date to see this
movie the night it came out, to come and help us
change that. lend it's not just helping US out. It's
seeing the second i~T2atrix movie for .~ DOLL~~R.
Saturday: 2 Fast 2 Furious 8, 10, 12
How often do cops get stripped of their badges
for beliavilig illegall~~? Often. In "The Fast and the
Furious," the dude breaks laws. rind in the sequel
(`'ou can tell it's the sequel because the use the
number " 2" iii the title), he's been debadged. How
often do people who 1~REN'T COPS get a chance
to prove themselves b~T ma~Tbe committing more
illegal activities b~T behaving like undercover cops?
rind doing illegal street racing on the side? I have
no idea. But this movie would have you J believe it's
common practice.
Sunday: Harold and Maude 8, 10, 12
It's totalljT
r like l~Zrs. Robinson with fake suicide
attempts, except that while majTbe Mrs. R could've
passed for the MILF t~3pe, Maude is totally over
70, and the kid in the movie's as immature as thej-
come. lend, contrai-~- to all expectations, he is
named "Harold," despite the fact that he is neither
black, nor over the age of 50...but do remember
that as this film is set in 1971, Harold's character
would, in fact, be 51 or 52 today<. So don't let that
bother j~ou too much.
Issue 7,000,003
This is the True section, where we tell you how to live your life
These days, it's tough to find a metal show
that isn't some upper-class white kid rap-
ping and whining about how miserable he
is despite millions of dollars. But here's a
chance for a real metal show, and not even
metal like Queens of the Stone rlge or
Chevelle. I'm tall~i.ng about the heydaj7 —
when bands like .Anthrax and I~'Iegadeth
defined hard rock.
Here it is, Canciiria and E-Town Concrete's
co-headlining tour with opener God
Forbid. The show will certainly open with
a bang as God Forbid are just straight-up
thrash metal, the kind of thing that will get
jTour blood flowing for that 8:30 class.
They'll tear you up and keep going before
jTou even realize that an entire moshpit just
ran you over.
E-Town Concrete is fresh off tours with
old school metallers anthrax and
Biohazard. lend that's essentiall~T what they-
sound like. lend even if it is more or less a
r-ip-off, it's a refreshing rip-off because it's
not something we hear all the time.
They've built up a huge following up and
down the east coast primarily on touring
and word of mouth, and there's good rea-
son for this following —they just go, and
an~~thing in their way is in trouble.
J ./ n
Last -on the bill is Candi~i.a.. They've been
y ~ - 'iw - ~ ;-. -
around for awhi~,e,~ :a~~d =~r~u've probabltiT
never heard of them: ` This .is: your fault.
Whom not to
Impersonate:
James Perry, after four
drunk driving convictions,
stole his neighbor Robet~t
Kowalski's identittiT in order
to get a driver's license in
annother state. EverjTthing
went fine until a ~~ear later
when Perry got busted for
disorderly conduct. It turns
out Kowalski was a sex
offender, and Perry never
registered with the state of
CT, as required b3T law
-readme p. 5 - September 17 -September 23
.
. . . ..
Sure, write them off as thrash-metal or
death-metal or whatever you might want to
call them before you even hear them. For
the rest of jTou, check them out. This isn't
Tour older brother's thrash. It takes the
groundwork set forth by bands like
Biohazard and Sla~Ter and builds on it,
bringing in elements of rap (but it's not
rap-metal —the gujT's a legitimate rapper),
funk, techno, and close to everj-thing else
out there to put together an energetic,
exciting, and <gasp!> unique package of
no t-quite-thrash-metal.
So if you have energ~T or aggression you
gotta release, this is a show for you. If
you're looking for good metal, this is a
show for you. lend if ~rou're looking for
something to do with Tour time, for $10,
J
this costs the same as a movie and will
probably be far more memorable.
Segway Recall: Why Bother?
~ problem has emerged
Fox is being sued over steal-
ing the idea for the movie
with the Segwajr Human
Transporter, the X5,000
The Lea~;lre of Extr~rorcliyra~.►
Ge~atlelne~l. The compan~7
high-technology scooter said the film was based on a
that has computerized g~Tro- graphic novel created by
scopes to keep it from comic book creator rll.an
falling over. It falls over. 1Vloore. But the ~ -lawsuit
(fit least, if ~Tou ignore the alleges that Hollywood pro-
battei-~~ indicator, warning ducer and screeri~vriter I~Zr
lights, and handle vibration
that signals the batter~7 is
Cohen and I~Ir Poll pitched
the idea to Fox several times
almost gone... then try and between 1993 and ~ 1996.
accellerate hard) Fox has dismissed the suit
as "absurd nonsense".
From the Desk of SDC
President
Mark Roboif
I'm pleased to present an exciting new service
the Student Dor-mitor-~~ Council is working to
bring to campus. Two weeks ago, SDC passed
funding to create an on-campus D VD lend-
ing library where students can borrow DVDs
for free to plajT at home. The service, which
will be operated b~7 Hunt Librar~T, will be open
to all students with a valid campus ID. Hunt
will provide the space for the librarjj and will
set policies on borrowing disks (such as time
limits and late fees.} SDC will be running the
movie selection process.
$5000 has alread~T been allocated to build a
great collection of classic and modern hit
titles. Suggestions for titles are welcome and
may be directed to sdc~andrewcmu.edu.
Furthermore, SDC will continuouslti~ update
the library once it starts, ensuring that it stays
current.
We hope to get the librartT started in the next
several months. There is considerable work to
be done in setting up the service, but both
SDC and Hunt Librartir are committed to
briniizg the service online as soon as possible.
r`~s the semester continues, I'll update ever~T-
one on its progress.
If you're interested in taking an active role itz
the selection process, e-mail
sdc@andrewcmu.edu or stop by one of our
general body meetings to learn more. The~T're
everyT Wednesday at 7:30PM in the UC
Connan Room. We're always looking for peo-
ple who want an active role in improvitlg
campus life. If that's somethvlg you're inter-
ested in, we hope to see you at our next meet-
ing.
~n ADL Instant
Messenger all day?
Talk to readme while you
cyber with the 40-year-old
men+
our screen name.: is
read~necmu
If ya~u~re funiny .enough, we'~t
~~~~ut y©u-in r+~adme~
 Events and Things On and Off Campus
Wednesday, October 1
movie: Horns and Halos. McConomy 8, 10, 12. ~1
readme: readme meeting. 3rd floor UC Lounge. 6pm
toy drive: Lambda Sigma's Toy Drive 10:30-2:30.
Merson Courtyard
concert: Adam Evil &The Outside Royalty and Shade
~~ The Lava Lounge. 10:30pm. ~5
Thursday, October 2
movie: Northfork. McConomy 8, 10, 12. ~1
toy drive: Lambda Sigma's ToyT Drive 10:30-2:30.
Merson Courtyard
concert: Vance Gilbert, Ellis Paul ~~ Club Cafe,
7:30pm, ~14, 21+
concert: The Starting Line, Allister, Home Grown,
Senses Fail, The Early November ~~ Metropol, 7pm,
X15
concert: Liz Berlin & Jenn ~XTertz (O f Rusted Root),
Mike Errico ~~Slippery Rock University, Slipper~.T Rock,
PA
Friday, October 3
movie: The Matrix Reloaded. McConomy, 7, 10, 1. ~1
improv: No Parking Players. UC Danforth Lounge.
8pm. Free.
art: Frame Show Opening Recption. The Frame. 7-
10pm.
toy drive: Lambda Sigma's Toy Drive 10:30-2:30.
Merson Courtyard
concert: Adam Evil &The Outside Royalty and Barret
Black Band ~~ The Loft of Barrett Black. 10pm.
Donations accepted.
event: College Nite Fridays ~~ Club Laga. 11pm-3am.
concert: John Scofield ~~ Byham Theatre
concert: Bio Ritmo ~~ Club Cafe, 9 pm, ~10, 21+
concert: Voodoo Glow Sku11s, The Pietasters, River
City Rebels ~~ Club Laga, 7pm, ~10
concert: Liz Berlin & Jenn Wertz {Of Rusted Root),
Enrico ~~ Mr. Small's Theatre
concert: Still Small Voice ~~ Oakmont Tavern,
Oakmont, PA
concert: Graham Colton ~~ Rosebud, 9 pm, ~8, 1
Saturday, October 4
movie: 2 Fast 2 Furious. McConomy. 8, 10, 12. $1
concert: Jay &The Techniques Feat. Jay Proctor,
Merrilee Rush @ A J. Palumbo Center
concert: Donny Lang ~~ Byham Theatre
concert: Avail, Darkest Hour, Jericho ~~ Club Laga, 7
pm, ~10
concert: Bowling for Soup, Lucky Boys Confusion,
Army Of Freshmen, Never Heard of It ~~ Metropol, 7
pm, ~12
concert: Slaves On Dope ~~ Mr. Smalls Fun House
Sunday, October 5
movie: Harold and Maude. McConomy. 8, 10, 12. ~1
concert: Ravi Shankar ~~ Benedum Center
concert: Black Eyed Peas ~~ Club Laga, 8pm, X22
concert: Autopilot Off, Lost Cite Angels ~~ VF~XT,
Charleroi, PA
Monday, October 6
concert: Freebo ~~ Club Cafe, 7:30 pm, ~6, 21+
concert: Aphasia, Born Dead Icons, La Fraction,
Suburban Death Machine ~~ Mr. Roboto Project. 7pm.
~6
Tuesday, October 7
concert: Rachael Sage ~~ Borders Books &Music
concert: Jazz Mandolin Project, Jacob Fred Jazz
Odyssey ~~ Mr. Small's Theatre
concert: Good Charlotte, The Living End, Something
Corporate ~~ Petersen Events Center, 7:30 pm, X27.50
concert: Akimbo, Ice Capades, Sequoia, Swing By
Seven ~~ Mr. Roboto Poject. 7pm. $
Wednesday, October 8
concert: Scout ~~ CMLT
concert: Dan Bern ~~ Club Cafe, 7:30 pm, X14, 21+
Candiria, E-Town Concrete, God Forbid ~~ C1ub La
7pm,$10
concert: Mason Jennings ~~ Rosebud, 8pm, ~10
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