Cool: free

readme
issue #7,000,013
Ice cold: Cooler than cool Jan. 28 -Feb. 3

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Carnegie Melton's leading source of experimental hip-hop since 1895 -brought to you by the Activities Board

Fraternity Vows to Out-Haze Kappa Sigma

Matt Norton, the rush chair for Carnegie When asked what they had in store for their
I~Tellon's chapter of Theta Xi vowed that this pledges, Brothers of Theta Xi hinted at a few
Spring semester the pledges of Theta Xi are of the things they would do. "Maple syrup,
going to "feel the wrath of that's for pussies. That's
hazing so harsh that the food! Motor oil is what real
hazing of Kappa Sigma is men haze with," said
going to, seem like `the gen- Timothy Feldman, anew
tle touch of a lover on a Brother of Theta Xi.
warm stunmer day on a field Feldman went on to sayT that
of green grass and flowers he was, "glad that I pledged
while the sun shines bright before Kappa Sigma did CS Majors Don't
and all of the majestic ani- their thing and Norton start-
mals bask in yTour love, ed tallying all this crazy stuff Shower... No ReaIly,
which is so pure that..."'
Witnesses sav he went on
about showing them up and
being number one in some-
They Don't
for a few hours with that thing no matter what it was. All those times you thought we were jok-
one sentence, but readme Unless it's VD; I love VD." ing about how Computer Science majors
OHHHHHHHHH YEAH
had already left. don't shower, we weren't. They really
readme caught up with Norton as he exited don't. You were all like, "Oh, Naha, silly
The 14 Rushees of Theta Xi could not be Home Depot, carrying recently purchased readme, what a bunch rapscallions, that
reached for comment because theyT were all power drills, hammers, nails, and several bunch." But no, we weren't screwing
tied up in the basement of the Theta Xi copies of the Jackass movie. The only com- around. They really don't shower. At all.
house with ball gags in their mouths while the ment he could offer was, "Out of the 14 guys Ever. I know what you are all thi ing,
Brothers re-enacted that scene from Pulp we have rushing, we expect 3 to make it, 8 to "I know a CS major who showers at least
Fiction. de-pledge, and 10 to die. Horribly. Seriously, once a week," but he's not showering,
closed casket." he's just masturbating.

Carnegie Mellon Gets Punk'd, Punk
Yesterday as thousands of students faced
high winds and below freezing temperatures
to go to classes theyT don't even like, Ashton
Kutcher announced via bullhorn on the cut
that Carnegie Mellon had been Punk'd.
The host of the popular MTV show told stu-
dents that they had really enrolled in school at
Gulf Coast College in Fort Lauderdale, FL
and that this hellish Pittsburgh nightmare had
been an elaborate prank.
"Yeah, right now at yTour real college, it's 78
degrees and sunny. Everyone is at the beach
partying, has a boyfriend and/or a girlfriend
and a brand new trucker hat!" said Kutcher.
Students stood, mouths agape at the
announcement. Some on the scene fainted, as
others threw up their hands and laughed.
"That Ashton Kutcher, he's a feisty one,"
commented senior Mechanical Engineering
major Charlie Lee. "This was the funniest
prank ever! Ashton's a genius!"
However, as news of the prank spread like
Trucker hats for everyone!
wildfire over cell phone and misc.market,
some student reaction was not positive.
"I thought I got into a really good school,"
said freshman Materials Science major Roger
Greene. "Now I find out that I really got into
some party school in Florida? This sucks,
now I'll never work at NASA, but majTbe I'll
get laid. I'd rather work at NASA."
The Carnegie Mellon episode will serve as the
show's final episode. Kutcher, the show's cre-
ator, has decided to end on the high note.
"I think convincing 5,000 kids that their col-
lege experience had been miserable is pretty
great prank. said Kutcher. "You've been
Punk'd nerds!"
And Business majors, they're really stu-
pid. No, seriously:llll of them make the
Dean's List because it's really easy. I can't
stress that enough. We're not even sure
the Dean of the Business School knows
what a list is. We think he's actually just
printing the roster, because he's stupid
too.
Drama majors are gayer than Will &
Grace, and that's gay, brother. 1111 of
them. Even the chicks. Some are bi, but
that's kinda gay still. That MT you met
last weekend and thought was straight,
he's so gay, he has sex with guys. There's
no joke there, it's just truth, in your face.
Well, hopefully not in your face. But yTou
get the point.
Psych majors are awesome though.
Design majors. What are they deslgni_ng,
failure? Design myT Whopper with
cheese. Make it nice and putty now. rind
don't forget my fries. Art majors too.
They'll all end up teaching Kindergarten
and finger painting for the rest of their
lives. They all live in their studios and
hardly ever graduate.
Issue 7,000,013
Asian Students Outside Doherty Actually Just Speaking Gibberish
~~ group of fourteen students with East
Asian characteristics came forward last week
to announce that they do not, in fact, know
any Asian languages and have been faking
their cultural heritage for some time.
Fir most of the academic year, the students
nave passed time during the day and
between classes standing outside of the
mailz entrance to Dohert~T Hall and speaking
loudly in what, to most inattentive passers-
by, seemed to be an .~sian language such as
Korean or Japanese. The students also
dressed in clothes which have been
described as `trendtiT,' smoked a large quanti-
t~T of cigarettes, and behaved raucously,
occasionally breaking out into simultaneous,
loud laughter.
"We really wanted to be Asian, but none of
us reallyT had the heritage for it. So we just
kind of made it up," said George
Thompson, one of the ringleaders of the
group. "We all looked Asian, though9 so
nobody noticed."
"loll the Korean kids thought we were speak-
ing in Chinese, and all the Chinese people
Yes, the Couple in the Next Room Could be Louder
:~.:N.~>.::::.:~.:::~:.>:.:~hv.r
.,,
"Hey Ya!" was playing in the background
In an unspecified room in Morewood's B
tower, sources report, she screams, "Oh!" a
lot. He goes "Unnh," sometimes, too.
Further reports suggest that aside from
these noises, sometimes you can hear
squeaking. Go ahead, complain to yTour R1~.
The~T'll hate jTou, but at least the noise will
stop, right? Wrong. Because thejT're still
going to be having sex, and because you're
in a dorm, jTou're still going to be able to
hear it.
But there's a girl in the C tower, two floors
higher, who doesn't just say "Oh!", but also
screams "Yes! Yes!" a lot. So, y-es, they
COULD be louder. You try to ignore the
sound, so you turn on your stereo. You
think THEY can't hear that? Well, they can,
o January 28 -February 3
thought it was Japanese, and so forth," said
.~...L..._.. ~ ~~_-
John Worth, another of the group. "So
nobod`T ever really called us out on just talk-
ing gibberish all~the time."
13ccording to Thompson, the group was
going strong for the whole of last semester,
and had begun to almost fit in with the other
l~sians who hung out in the same place.
However, he felt that thejT never reall~T got
the hang of it "it just didn't feel right. We
didn't click." He said that, although the~T
achieved their goals of being both obnox-
ious and loud, they never really felt secure :;~.: .~
r}::........w..... ..................
about it.
Jolly good. Right~o
"Professors gave us funnjT looks when thetiT ward. The group shocked the CMU commu-
walked by, and it ~ never got girls to like us. nity b~T announcing that not only did they
Even the l~sian girls were kind of scared off, not speak an~T different languages, they also
so it realltiF defeated the point. after a while, were not fond of their clothing st~Tles, and
some of us started to have doubts, and then most of them didn't even smoke.
it just kind of snowballed," said Worth.
"I feel really bad about what we did, and I
Eventually, he said, some of the members hope the other Asian kids don't hold it
lost their motivation and dropped out of the against us," said r11ex Johnson, another
group. lifter a while, then all lost the desire member of the group. "I can hardly even
to continue the farce. Once the guilt became bear to wear m~T yellow shades anyTmore. I
overwhelming, they decided to come for- guess I'd better go study now"
you sad, jealous bastard. lend when Tour
stereo is on loud, since `Tou hooked your
computer into it, ~Teah. TheyT also hear your
120-decibel instant messenger noises. .~1nd
tiles, it does work you drown out the noise.
But j7ou know what else? You're totally
destroying their mood. They actually stop
having sex when you're IMTming that girl in
the woods in Idaho who jTou have a crush
on and are thinking about cyber-dating. "Me
and her wouldn't be that loud, or anno~Ting," want to make like to you
you think to jTourself, and yeah, you're
right because if she I~°TET you, she would- Freshman Don't Just Like
n't want to Dy~TE ~Tou, asshole. r~lnd she's Each Other, They're In Like
actuall~T fat and ugly, so you wouldn't want to
have sex with her at ~~LL. So, `Teak. She'll
~.°~o~h Each Other
Freshman Biology major, Norman Baker,
visit you (when her parents decide to let her,
and freshman English major, Susan
because she's onl~T 16, so the~T still have
Thompson, feel that their relationship is get-
power over her), someday (fat chance), and
ting pretty serious.
then you'll be platonic. So, yeah, ~Tou won't
make that much noise. Great life ~Tou have.
J
~1 friend of Baker said, "Dude, I thought
they just kinda liked each other, but now
Here's a great idea: download some porn.
their talking about holding hands and stuff. I
lend play THAT on Tour stereo. lend then
think they might be in like with each other."
j-ou can pretend ~Tou're having sex with a
porn star who's had sex with a million other
"Now they're kissing on the lips and even
men. readme reporters will to laugh at ~Tou
reading Homestarrunner.com together,"
then. So please try not to complain so much
explained Baker's friend.
about the people in the next room.
Issue 7,000,013 - readme p. 3 - January 2S -February 3

Top Things to do With
Snow
e ..::~~~
.... . ~....e:.,:.::
Make an anatomicall~~ correct snowman
Have a snowball fight with someone of the
opposite sex
Build a fort and refuse to give it up until it melts
Build a toboggan out of dice and taste and race
down the slopes to freedom
Make snow angels... and snow devils and then
have them fight it out greco-roman stjTle... let
cool, then serve with a side of jams
When me rockin' the microphone me rock it
steady
Yes sir dadd~~ me Snow me are the article don
But in the in an' the out of a dance them they-
say where you come from
People them say you come from Jamaica
But me born an' raised in the ghetto that's the
one I want yTou to know
Pure black people mon that's all I mon know
Yeah me shoes are tear up an' me toes used to
show . pet might be too disturbing for children
Where me born in on the one Toronto so
Dance and Political Science Double Major Predicts
Dance Dance Revolution
According to Michael Kaylor, CMU's first
dance and political science double major,
that a horde of Asians are constantly play-
ing DDR in arcades across America aren't
just burning off the calories from their O
fries. As the distressed sophomore
explained, they might just be planning a
political uprising. Kaylor grew agitated
when asked about the evidence which led
him to draw such a conclusion. "All I
know is that there's a whole lot of Asians
out there, and with their work ethic, they
wouldn't be doing all that dancing for
nothing!" Kaylor was also unclear about
what will occur when the actual "revolu-
tion" takes place. "From my research I DDR is still funny, right?
anticipate a lot of fast paced moves, catchjT don't shower, and stop wasting all those
techno music, powering up, and hilariously quarters on laundr5a Get your not-really-
bad translations." Kaylor's advice? Take dancing shoes on and prepare. When the
the advice of your CS major friends, who revolution comes, you'll be glad you did.
Jim Morrison Resurrected, Body Used as Puppet at Chuck E Cheese
The local Pittsburgh chapter of Chuck E
Cheese recently unveiled plans to use the
exhumed bodyT of former Doors front
man, Jim Morrison, as an animatronic
puppet. Cindy Barron, the restaurant's
manager, declined to comment on the
exact details of how the body- was
obtained. She did admit, however, that the
transformation from decaying corpse to
singing puppet was a hilarious and fun-
filled adventure. "The worst part was
installing the blinking eyes," sa~Ts Cindy.
When asked if she thought the new pup- Where a kid can be a ... dead rock star?
giant rat who hasn't been popular for a
Cindy- promptly replied, "Our mascot is a decade." Touche, Cindy, Touche.

readme's Headlines: Not at All Like the Onion. We're Tough and Rugged
Informer you no say daddy= me Snow me I'll go
blame Fruedian Slips, Breaks Hip Despite Shaking Like a Poloroid Pictcha,
A licky boom boom down Boot~T Fails to Develop
Detective mon said daddy me Snow me stab Dog Balls, Classical Dance for Canines
someone down the lane Sex with Lumberjacks: A Treatsie b~T
A lickj- Boom Boom Down Alright Alright Alright ~~ 1~ ght HejT Ladies Andrey7

Editing &Writing Staff

Move Your Feet: Chris Rotella ~~
Hey Ya!: Muffin, Aileen D'Esposito, Dana Vinson, Greg Modzelewski, Brian Leahy, Brian Gray, Ashley
Holtgraver, Esteban Bowles-Martinez, *, Andrey Dolgov, Alison Lauer, AB Hair Chris Smoak, Fred
Merkle, Alisa Brown, Zachary Harris, James Troup, Katie Wallat, Mike Blain, Karthik Parasuraman, Jake
Portnoff, Glenn Willen, Michael Croland, Kevin Chang, Agata Adamowicz, and Zack Hiwiller
What is readme? Well, it's funny- and it's useful. And free. So it's better than sliced bread. activities board
Who makes it? readme is printed by7 the Activities Board, sponsored bj7 your student activities fee
Where do I get it? readme is handed out at AB events and left in stacks around campus
Online: www.activitiesboard.org/readme
How do I help? Email crotella~u andrewcmu.edu. We need funnyT writers, non-funny? writers, and Photoshopers
And remember: Shake it
Issue 7,000,013
This is the True section, where we tell you how to live your life
Talk Dirrty to Me
with Dana and Fred
Dana: I know what you've all been think-
ing when is readme going to get an advice
column? Right now bitch! Yes, that's right,
two of readme's finest are joining forces to
bring you the best in relationship advice.
Fred: I can't think when this goddamned
Outkast is pla~Ting. So if you want to know
how to ask out that hottie in your CSW class,
talk to the people who know Us. Just don't
be listening to "Hey7 Ya" when you're writing
to us.
Dana: I like the new OutKast album. Fred,
you're an asshole.
Fred: Okay, whatever. Let's get on to a
question.
Dana: Ok, here's a question. . .why are yTou
such an asshole?
Fred: No, I mean what poor soul needs our
help, bitch?
Second Semester Senior TV Round-Up, Part 1
12:00 and 12:30 Saved By the Bell TBS
Dude, what a righteous wa~T to start you day!
Two back-to-back episodes of that show
about high school that you used to love
when jTou were in middle school. Trust me,
although it holds a special place in jTour
heart, you're going to think yTou were a com-
plete tool for liking this sho`u when you were
younger. But, the happy people with happy
problems will make a nice complement to
the vomiting sounds you make as jTou try to
recover from yTour hangover just another
WednesdajT morning. He~7, who ate all the
~-ldvil?
1:00 Family Matters and/or The Golf
Channel
Hella sweet! Someone ordered pizza last
night and left it out on the coffee table. It
might have been you, but jTou don't remem-
ber. There's a little cigarette ash on it, but still
good, still good! If you want to continue
jrour trip down memory lane while you enjoy
Tour breakfast, skip over to ABC FamiltiT and
enjo~T two back to back episodes of FamilyT
Matters that Urkle, he gets me ever~T time
with his little car with the door that opens up
where the hood is supposed to be. Or if
you're in the mood for a little more sophisti-
cation, ~Tou can tune into The Golf Channel
for Inside the PGA Tour and Golf with
St~Tle. Nothing like putting and driving to get
you through the most important meal of the
da~T.
-readme p. 4 - January 28 -February 3
Dana: Easy-. Ok, here's our first question...
wait, we don't actually- have anjT questions
because this is our first week.
Fred: Wait, this column needs more jokes.
Dana: Yes, well not everything we do has to
be furuz~7. We may be clowns, but we have
feelings too. We need you to send us your
romantic queries. We're serious about this!
All letters are anonymous. Send your queries
to dbv@andrewcmu.edu or if you don't
want us to even know your email then get a
hotmail account or send an instant message
to readmecmu.
Fred: Yeah, and the magic 8-ball says, "No
Doubt About It."
Dana: rind I sayT it's time to help the nerds...
er people on this campus.
Fred: ... get laid.
Dana: Right on. See you next week!
2:00 Nap
Whew You look tired. I think it's time for a
nap. Fluff your pillows on the couch and set-
tle in. Turn to the Housing Movie
Channel that ought to put you to sleep.
2:30 BoohBah WQED
And you thought the Teletubbies were some
f*~**d up shut. Check out BoohBah: a new
half hour children's show starring what
appear to be five multi-colored amorphous
marshmallow peep like creatures that flyT
around the screen. It airs everydajT at 2:30, so
that should give you just enough time to roll
off the couch, get stoned out of your mind,
watch these little f*~*ers change the wajT jTou
think about realit~~ and get to your 3 o'clock
class. Ok dudes, is it just me or do these
things sort of look like inflated uncircum-
cised penises too?
3:00 House of Mouse The Disney
Channel
What's that? You don't have an~T class on
Wednesday? Good for you you've earned it
after four ~~ears in this hell hole. Turn to the
Disnej- channel and watch House of Mouse!
A whole half-hour fi lled with your favorite
Micke~T I~Touse cartoons. You're probably still
a little stoned, but you ate all the pizza
already, so scrounge around your kitchen for
something yummyT. Unfortunately, all you
find are some wheat crackers and salsa. Say:
man, these wheat crackers with salsa on them
are saving m~7 life right now!
Cheap Movies at
McConomy
All the nights, brought to you by AB,
except Saturday which is SDC. 1 Buck.
Wednesday, Much Ado About
Nothing 8, 10, 12
There are four movies and 6 other items
with "('T~" on them listed when I search
Amazon for this. It's - a goddamned
Shakespeare play, and they made a movie
out of it, too. I'm goin' to bed. Watch
movies. Go Patriots.
Thursday, Chungking Express 8,
10, 12
Interesting color and cinematography,
while fortunateljT nothing like Waking
Life! Why not? Because ~Tou're not dead,
or even asleep, and there are more cops
around. Set in Hong Kong, so that naive
American audiences like you will have no
trouble suspending your disbelief regard-
ing pineapples and apartment furnishings.
Friday, No movie
Go ahead, come to McConomy and try to
buyT a ticket. If we're there, we'll sell you
one, but you won't get to see the movie,
because there isn't one. No ticket returns
for this movie.
Saturday, School of Rock 8, 10,
12
God DAMN it. I really wanted to see this
movie, and I'll be out of town for it. But I
WOULD see it, because Jack Black is, like,
the new black. Tenacious D, anyone?
Same dude. Teaches school. A school...of
ROCK.
Sunday, Barbershop 8, 10, 12
Well, if they actually SHOW the movie
this week, it'll be about barbers. Yes, bar-
bers. See, to have a wack~T and funny
movie, you need a social context. Seinfeld
had the, "We are all friends in the same
building in New York City' thing. The
Simpsons have their "We are in
Springfield, which is like every town"
thing. Water Drops on Burning Rocks had
its whole "This entire movie is shot in one
apartment" schtick. Well, for Sunday, it's a
barbershop. Hilarit~T ensues.
Issue 7,000,013 -readme p. 5 - January 28 -February 3
This is the True section, where we tell you how to live your life

From the Desk of

Break out the Guinness, borrow the kilt your
roommate who's in the Kiltie Band has hang-
ing around, lace up your ass-kicking boots,
and go to Laga. Because you def~iitely don't
want to miss the Dropkick Murphys. Who
cares if it's still a month and a half `till Saint
Patrick's Day? Start the party earl~r.
Those of yTou familiar with the work of the
Murphys (or Dropkicks, if you prefer) have
probablyT all readtiT stopped reading and gone
to get your tickets because everyone loves
them. Those of you who aren't familiar with
them, here's acrash-course for yTou so that
you, too, can realize that you should go to
this show
The Dropkick Murphys hail from Boston.
TheyT're a punk band, with tinges of hardcore
thrown in. Oh, and a large bagpipe player
named Spicy McHaggis. And lots of influ-
ence from old-fashioned Irish drinking
music. They have a variety of their own
music which ranges from pretty straightfor-
ward drinking music all the way up to stuff
that's just plain old hardcore. Classic songs
~Tou should check out include "The SpicyT
McHaggis Jig," their tribute to Mr. McHaggis
and his taste in large women, "Barroom
Hero," which sings the jo`Ts of ...drinking,
Student Body President
Dan Gilman
As we enter into the second semester, I
want to take this opportunity to inform
you about several projects that I am cur-
rently working on.
One proposal that manjT of you ma~7 have
heard about is the possibility of trans-
forming Danforth Lounge into a gyTm
facility. Danforth is one location that
would allow for the much needed expan-
sion of our current facilities. If we were to
go ahead with the transition, we would
work to promote and improve the study
space in Alumni Lounge for those stu-
dents that currentlti7 use Danforth Lounge.
A second issue we are working on is the
Dropkick Murphys
addition of flat screen events monitors to
"Skinhead on the MBTA" about a member
the University Center. It is our hope that
of the Boston punk underground getting
such an addition would provide students
lost on the subway, and their version of "Tim
with a central;7ed location to read about
Finnegan's Wake," the traditional Irish folk
all of the great programs and opportuni-
song. It's good stuff —what's not to love
ties on campus on any given day. Similar
about punk with bagpipes?!
monitors are in place in Posner Hall and
they have been a great success.
This show comes highljT recommended by
your friendly neighborhood readme concert
Additionally, we are also looking to evalu-
preview author. Particularly because I saw
ate the success of the new Lower Level of
the Dropkick Murphys the last time they
the University Center. We are looking to
played Club Laga and can tell you that it's an
receive feedback from students about
unbelievable amount of fun. So put down
Andy's, Scotland Yard, the centralized
your Readme and go!
Postal Office, and the new location of the
Career Center. As we decide what changes
may or may not be necessaryT for that area,
student's input is crucial.

I encourage all of you to contact me with

your feedback on these ideas or any other
thoughts you have. You can alway=s reach
me via email at sbp@andrew.cmu.edu.
Additionally, my office hours are held
every Monday from 3:30-4:30 in UC 318F.

~~~::.

Bless me... watch Moo dunnit? 1-800-I'D LIKE SOME

yourself!
John Paul II, 83, Pope and all
around cool guy blessed a
group of break-dancers at
the Vatican. The pope
seemed to like the spins and
headstands.
A jury in Cedar Rapids, Iowa
found a cow and it's owner
not guilty= in ahit-and-run
accident in 2000. A cow
destory .r1nn Sauer's wind-
shield and roof, then feld the
scene. "We briefly looked at
each other before she went
off in the darkness," said
Sauer.
CRACK
Tara Jo Curtis, 29, of
Panama City, Florida was
arrested last weekend after
dialing the wrong number
and asking for crack. Even
after learning that she had a
wrong number, she still
asked for the drug.
 Events and Things On and Off Campus
Pittsburgh is getting might boring...
Wednesday, January 28
movie: Much Ado About Nothing. McConomy. 8,
10, 12. $1
concert: Adam Evil &The Outside Royalty @
Skibo Coffeehouse 9pm.
concert: Flaw, Life of Agony, Scrape @ Clug Laga,
7:30pm, $15-$17
concert: Fred Eaglesmith Band @Rosebud,
7:30pm, $15-$17
Thursday, January 29
movie: Chungkuig Express. McConomy. 8, 10, 12.
$1
concert: Squad Five-0 @Backboard
concert: Big Creak, The BRIDGE (Baltimore) @
Busker's
concert: Ordinary Boys, The Electric, Black Tie
Revue @Club Cafe, 7:30pm, $5
Friday, January 30
event: Winter Gala 2004: Set Sail Aboard the
Cruise Ship! UC. 9pm. Free.
art: "Second Shoff' opening reception. The Frame.
7pm
concert: Copeland, The WoYl~ing Title, Mae @ Mr.
Smalls Fun House/Theatre, 6:30 pm, $10
concert: Science Fiction Idols @ Snvling Moose
concert: Breakup Society, Like Suininer, New
Invisible Joy @Club Cafe, 7:30pm, $5
concert: Joe Grushecky @Rosebud, 10:30pm, $10
Saturday, January 31
movie: The School of Rock. McConomy. 8, 10, 12.
~1
concert: Handface ~~ The Underground, 8pm,
free
event: Radio Club, exam sessions for amateur radio
license. Email ar99~~andrew for more info. HH
B131, noon, X12.
concert: Anti-Flag, Rise Against,l~gainst Me,
None More Black, New Mexican Disaster Squad ~~
Mr. Smalls Fun House/Theatre, 6:30 pm, X14
concert: Joe Grushecky ~~ Rosebud, 10:30pm, $10
concert: Jenn Wertz, Mofones, Salena Catalina ~~
Club Cafe, 7:30pm, ~5
Sunday, February 1
movie: Barbershop. McConomy. 8, 10, 12. $1
auditions: Off The Top unprov comedy. UC
Dowd. 4pm
Monday, February 2
concert: Murphy's Law ~~ Club Laga, 7pm, ~10
concert: The New Relics ~~ Club Cafe, 7:30pm, ~7
Tuesday, February 3
concert: O.A.R., Robert Randolph &The Family
Band @ AJ. Palumbo Center, 7:30 pm, $28
concert: Jason Martinko Revue @Rosebud, 9pm,
$5
Wednesday, February 4
auditions: Off The Top unprov comedy. UC
Dowd. 9pm
concert: Dropkick Murphys, The Unseen, Stiff
Little Fingers @Club Laga, 7 pm, $17.50
concert: Science Fiction Idols @Smiling Moose
concert: Ambition, DJ Solomon, The Profits, 7pm,
$8-$10
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