Matthew Lovett
ID# 20566522
How are you going to
incorporate the feedback you
received last week? 
As of now, I’ve concluded the
only effective method in which I
could properly present all the
elements of my artifact and
include the feedback I received
is if my modify my artifact to
become a video, but that
conclusion might change as I am
still unsure if I should pursue
this method. What I mean by that
is on the surface, while my
artifact presents the main theory
clearly, there’s not much else
one can dissect from it, and if
my artifact is to be effective in
demonstrating my message it
needs more contents. Like an
argument, an example, and
sources to further provide
support of my claim, all of which
were elements the feedback I
received found lacking.
REMIX Artifact
Revision Plan
Which suggestions are you
going to incorporate?  to ignore?
A comment had brought to my
attention a significant
enlightenment to me, which was
that while my message was clear,
but my argument to support my
message wasn’t as apparent.
Another comment I found helpful
was concerning how I presented
my theory in terms of advertising
it. As in my original artifact, I
worded the presentation in a way
in which made it seem as if you
had to actually purchase it. This is
a simple change, as I just need to
reword some of the text, so it
demonstrates my concept in a
more noble fashion.
Which suggestions are you going
It comes as a bit of a shock, but
surprisingly the feedback I’m going
to ignore is where my peers
exclaimed that my artifact is
“perfect” and has no room for
improvement or modifications. I
outright loathe that type of criticism
because I firmly believe in that there
is always room for improvement
regardless of whatever it may be
and one should strive to constantly
enhance whatever it is you are
working.
It’s also incredibly useless as
considering this is a first draft, you
wish to develop your artifact further
but that becomes more difficult as
you’re not being given constructive
feedback.
Why?
 The implication of an argument was
particularly helpful to me because it
demonstrated to me that you can’t
simply put forth your message without
a concrete argument to support it.
You’re not giving your audience a
reason to invest their time and thought
towards your theory or idea, it’s
essential to provide your audience
with an argument so your claim seems
more sustainable.
As for my wording, I can understand
why this may be a cause for concern
as my intention is not to ask for any
currency or compensation but simply
to provide awareness to an issue I
believe should be researched and
acknowledged more.