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Script- Scottish Bartender

The Scottish Bartender

A Stop motion animation by Josh Richardson

INT. PUB – LATE AFTERNOON

As the intro sequence plays the BARTENDER walks in.

Scottish Bartender
(sighs) Another day of this crap
He then goes behind the bar and starts running a tap to clean
dishes, before one of his employees, Simon, rushes into the
bar really quickly

SIMON
Sir, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry!

Scottish Bartender
A WHOLE SIXTEY SECONDS LATE! Look at the state of yous! Where
I’m from ye would get battered because of this!

SIMON
Yes, I know but-

Scottish Bartender
I don’t care, just get to cleaning now
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As it turns to the evening the bar starts to get packed, with

many waiting and getting angry at the slow service.

Scottish Bartender
Get that thing out of my site! Ya can’t bring them in hear ya
cow!

Man 1
Bruv, I just worked 3 hours I need a pint, ‘urry up!
The bartender hands the man a drink but he carefully spits it
out.
Oi, what drink is this?!

Scottish Bartender
Its IRN BRU! Better than the other shite ye wanted to drink!

MAN 1
Mate, Im about to do your Scottish ‘ead in. Give me my drink!

Scottish Bartender
Come get it ya daft bastard!

The two have a scruffle before MAN 1 gets headbutted by the

Scottish Bartender, which puts him to the ground.

Ya canny even fight like a man!

Later that day when the bar is about to shut a strange figure
approaches and stands

Scottish Bartender
What does yous want? We’re closed. Away.
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MAN 2
Mate, shut your mouth. Ill ‘ave you know I’m an EDL member and
I’m sick of people like you.

Scottish Bartender
I don’t care what yous got to say. Why are you here?

MAN 2
You put ma bruver in hospital! So your gonna pay mate

Scottish Bartender
He deserved it, was just as wee as you too ya puff

MAN 2
Come here then!
Before he knew it the man was flung out of the window.

Scottish Bartender
Simon! Clean all this crap up! I’ll see you tomorrow…
unfortunately
The bartender slowly walks out as the day ends, ready for
another day of work tomorrow.

THE END.
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