You are on page 1of 30

Senior High School

SSchool

Personal Development
Quarter 2 - Module 7
Dynamics of Attraction, Love,
and Commitment
Personal Development – Senior High School
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 2 - Module 7: Dynamics of Attraction, Love, and Commitment
First Edition, 2020

Republic Act 8293, section 176 states that: No copyright shall subsist in any work of the
Government of the Philippines. However, prior approval of the government agency or office wherein the
work is created shall be necessary for the exploitation of such work for a profit. Such agency or office may,
among other things, impose as a condition the payment of royalty.

Borrowed materials (i.e., songs, stories, poems, pictures, photos, brand names, trademarks, etc.)
included in this book are owned by their respective copyright holders. Every effort has been exerted to
locate and seek permission to use these materials from their respective copyright owners. The publisher
and authors do not represent nor claim ownership over them.

Published by the Department of Education – Division of Cagayan de Oro Schools Division


Superintendent: Dr. Cherry Mae L. Limbaco, CESO V

Development Team of the Module


Author: Shielamar L. Labiscase

Reviewers: Rochelle A. Luzano, PhD


Erlwinmer R. Mangmang
Marilou I. Largo
Nina D. Leyson, PhD
Illustrator and Layout Artist: Roy C. Daleon
Ryan Z. Roa
Management Team

Chairperson: Cherry Mae L. Limbaco, PhD, CESO V


Schools Division Superintendent

Co-Chairpersons: Rowena H. Paraon, PhD,


Asst. Schools Division Superintendent

Members Lorebina C. Carrasco, CID Chief


Joel D. Potane, LRMS Manager
Gemma P. Pajayon – PDO II
Lanie M. Signo – Librarian II

Printed in the Philippines by


Department of Education – Bureau of Learning Resources (DepEd-BLR)
Office Address: Fr. William F. Masterson Ave., Upper, Balulang, Cagayan de Oro
Telefax: (08822)855-0048
E-mail Address: cagayandeoro.city@deped.gov.ph
Senior High School
SSchool

Personal
Development
Quarter 2 - Module 7
Dynamics of Attraction, Love, and Commitment

This instructional material was collaboratively developed and reviewed by


educators from public and private schools, colleges, and or/universities. We encourage
teachers and other education stakeholders to email their feedback, comments, and
recommendations to the Department of Education at action @
cagayandeoro.city@deped.gov.ph

We value your feedback and recommendations.

Department of the Education ● Republic of the Philippines

FAIR USE AND CONTENT DISCLAIMER This SLM (Self Learning Module) is for educational purposes only. Borrowed
materials (i.e.,songs, stories, poems, pictures, photos, brand names, trademark, etc.) include in these modules are
owned by their respective copyright holders. The publisher and authors do not represent nor claim ownership over them.
Sincerest appreciation to those who have made significant contribution to these modules
Table of Contents

What This Module is About……………………………………………………………………..i


What I Need to Know……………………………………………………………………………i
How to Learn from this Module…………………………………………………………………ii
Icons of this Module……………………………………………………………………………...ii
What I Know….…………………………………………………………………………………...iii

Lesson 1: Personal Relationships……………………………………………1


What I Need to Know…………………………………………………………...1
What’s New: The People around Me…………………………………………1
What Is It: Personal Relationship……………………………………………...2
What’s More: My Family, Friends and Significant Other’s Portrait………...4
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection…………………………………………….5

Lesson 2: Ways of Showing Attraction, Love, and Commitment


What I Need to Know……………………………………………………………6
What’s In: The People I am Attracted to………………………………………6
What Is It: I. Biological Model of Love…………………………………………7
II. Triangular Theory of Love ……………………………………………....….8
III. Theory Love Styles……………………………………....…………………..9
What’s More: Love Language in the Family…………………………………..10
What I Have Learned: Love Combination……………………………………..11
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection…………………………………………….11

Lesson 3: Being Responsible in a Healthy Relationship

What’s New: Friendship Stoplight Analogy ……………………………….….12


What Is It: Important Aspects for Health Relationships .............................. ..13
What’s More: Becoming Responsible in a Relationship……………….…….14
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection ............................................................ ..15
Summary…………………………………………………………………………………………..16
Assessment: (Post Test) ……………………………………………………………………….17
Key to Answers……………………………………………………………………………...........19
References…………………….………………………………………………………….............21
What This Module is About

This is a very interesting module since the topic is about a personal relationship. The
concept of relationship is very broad, complex and varies from person to person. This module
will provide information in understanding the concept in a meaningful and easier way. This
aims to introduce the different types of relationships depending on the nature of the interaction.
Researchers have found that relationships are important to a person's happiness. The
absence of close relationships can produce a deep negative effect such as feeling worthless,
powerless, and alienated. We can say that every relationship has specific objectives or
purposes that a person wishes to pursue, either because of need, want, or desire. The very
first meaningful relationship every person encounters is with one's mother. The mother-child
relationship is already established even before birth because of the connection. The other
connections a person encounters will be tackled in this module.
This module contains varied activities that can help you build, become responsible and
maintain a good relationship with your family, friends and significant other by identifying the
appropriate way of expressing your attraction, love and commitment to them.

The following are the lessons contained in this module:

1. Personal Relationships

2. Ways of Showing Attraction, Love, and Commitment

3. Being Responsible in a Relationship

What I Need to Know

At the end of this module, you should be able to:

1. Discuss an understanding of teen-age relationships, including the acceptable and


unacceptable expressions of attractions (ESP-PD11/12PR-Iii-9.1);
2. Express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment (ESP-PD11/12PR-
Iii-9.2); and
3. Identify ways to become responsible in a relationship (ESP-PD11/12PR-Iii-9.3)

i
How to Learn from this Module
To achieve the objectives cited above, you are to do the following:
• Take your time to read the lessons carefully.
• Follow the directions and/or instructions in the activities and exercises diligently.
• Answer all the given tests and exercises.

Icons of this Module


This part contains learning objectives that
What I Need to Know are set for you to learn as you go along the
module.

This is an assessment as to your level of


knowledge of the subject matter at hand,
What I know
meant specifically to gauge prior related
knowledge.

This part connects the previous lesson with


What’s In
that of the current one.

An introduction to the new lesson through


What’s New various activities, before it will be presented
to you.

These are discussions of the activities as a


What is It way to deepen your discovery and under-
standing of the concept.

These are follow-up activities that are


What’s More intended for you to practice further to master
the competencies.

Activities designed to process what you have


What I Have Learned
learned from the lesson.

These are tasks that are designed to


showcase your skills and knowledge
What I can do
gained, and applied to real-life concerns and
situations.

ii
What I Know

Multiple Choice. Select the letter of the best answer among the given choices.
1. What is that close connection between people, formed by emotional bonds and
interactions?

A. Personal Development C. Intimacy


B. Personal Relationship D. Commitment

2. Which of the following is NOT appropriate to do as an adolescent in expressing your


attraction to your significant other?

A. Communicating C. Smiling at each other


B. Intimate physical activities D. Sharing future plans

3. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them?

A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity


B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

4. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others who like them
back?

A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity


B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

5. What act refers to deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with
another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect serve
as a guide to one’s behavior and thinking?

A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

6. Which part of the love-struck phase involves focusing one's attention on a particular
person or desire?

A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

7. What does Robert Stenberg emphasize the type of love that is characterized by
intimate, non-passionate and with a long term commitment?

A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous

iii
8. According to Robert Stenberg, what type of love is an ideal and complete form of love
with intimacy, passion and commitment?

A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous

9. Who among the ancient Greeks below, whose name is defined as selfless or
unconditional love?

A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

10. What type of love is named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a healthy
“self-compassion” love towards one’s self?

A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

11. If you were to choose a name for your family, which of the following Ancient Greek
names would you prefer?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus


B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

12. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for friendship?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus


B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

13. Which of the following is an element of a healthy relationship?

A. One person makes all the decisions C. Be disrespectful


B. Trust one another D. You are threatened

14. Which of the following statements is a good sign of a healthy relationship?

A. Your friend makes fun of you.


B. Your friend threatens to hurt you.
C. You are afraid of your friend's temper.
D. Your friend is happy when good things happen to you.

15. Which of the following statements is NOT a sign of healthy relationship?

A. You feel safe to share secrets.


B. You feel fear in your relationship.
C. There is communication, sharing, and trust.
D. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.

iv
Lesson

1 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

What I Need to Know

Pre-historic humans were interacting already through different forms of behavior such
as smiling, greeting each other, showing love, affection and loyalty, or hunting food together.
These were all necessary for their survival especially in the group that they belonged to. The
primary reason for human beings to belong is for survival.
Today, belongingness still exists since it has many benefits such as having a support
system when you need someone to share your sadness, happiness and other concerns
especially for adolescents. In the adolescence stage, a sense of identity begins to form that
involves shaping values and setting future goals. Adolescents develop social skills and interact
with the people around them. Nurtured relationships with other people help us to thrive. Hence,
we need to understand the relationships formed by teenagers among the people around them.

What’s New

Activity 1. The People Around Me


Directions: Draw three rectangles as shown below. Lists down the people whom you
considered as family, friends, or partner. You may also draw or put pictures of
them if you want.

Family

Partner YOU Friends


(if there’ any)

1
What Is It

As you have listed the people with whom you have a close connection right now in your
Activity 1, in this section you will know what close connection you have with them. These are
personal relationships, family relationships, friendship, and romantic relationships.

Personal Relationship
This kind of relationship refers to the association and close connections between
people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow and form mutual
experiences. Personal relationships generally refer to family, friends and significant other.

Changes in physical and cognitive aspects go along with changes in relationships


especially with family and friends during the adolescence period. Moreover, in the
adolescence stage, a new understanding of one's self occurs. This may include independence,
identity, and self-esteem. The personal relationship then plays a significant role in the
adolescent's pursuit of self-understanding.

Family Relationship
Family is generally defined as living together in a household whom related by birth,
marriage, or adoption. It includes siblings and parents whom you grow up with. One’s family
relationship is also extended to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins though not living
together. In family, roles are also defined. Parents and older relatives role is to guide,
discipline, and support younger members.

Family bond plays a vital role in a person's well-being. It forms other kinds of
relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships bound by love and closeness. On
the other hand, there are also arguments, disagreements, moments of anger and hurt in a
family since you spend so much time together. There is a usual increase in arguments and
conflicts with parents when adolescents assert their independence as their way of finding self-
identity. However, these are short-lived for families when there is love, care, and
understanding.

2
In families, the physical expression of bonds also varies. Family members express
affection through hugging, kissing on the cheek or forehead, patting the head or tousling the
hair, patting on the back, etc. In whatever ways affection is expressed, these show
closeness and respect of each family member.

Friendship
Friends are the people we are not related to us by blood or adoption but we choose
to interact with them. They are the people with whom we share our trust, respect, and care.
We feel that we can confide in them and we want to spend time with always. Friendship is a
reciprocal relationship. Both people must see each other as a friend for the relationship to
exist. Good friendships are mutually respectful, supportive and share common interests and
ideas. It should be built on honesty, support and loyalty.

There are different degrees of friendship. You may find that you feel closer to some
friends than others. Some friendships, especially if they have only known each other for a
short time, may not share personal issues or concerns. Usually, you may find that you feel
more comfortable and able to confide in friends whom you have known well.

Furthermore, friends who are very close and known each other well are referred to as
“best friends or close friends”. Some people have many friends, while others may only have
one or two. There is no right or the wrong number of friends to have and everyone is different.

Some friendships can be close while some friends choose to greet each other by
hugging or kissing on the cheek, other friendships may have no physical contact, or may
simply shake hands. However, romantic contact or being intimate physically is not
appropriate in a friendship.

Romantic Relationship
A romantic relationship is when you feel strongly attracted to the other person. The
attraction encompasses a person's personality and even physical and should be reciprocated
by the other person in the relationship.

A romantic relationship is described as the closest form of relationship in which, the


two people who are involved will often describe themselves as being attracted to each other

3
and/or "in love". They feel a strong connection and bond with each other that they do
not feel with anyone else, even with close friends. The bond is also exclusive and
monogamous.

People in a romantic relationship often see each other and when apart will find ways
to contact each other by phone and the likes. An example of a romantic relationship for
adolescents is between a boyfriend and girlfriend.

Arguments and disagreements in romantic relationships also occur. These arguments


can be overcome through effective communication and understanding. In other cases, if there
are frequent arguments, the two people involved may decide to seek help from friends or
adults.
As two people continually share interests and desires to live their lives together they
eventually discuss their plans. For adolescents, various kinds of physical contact are not
appropriate. These include prolonged cuddling and holding, kissing on the lips and sexual
intercourse. These activities may lead to premarital sex and untimely pregnancy. And so, for
the romantic relationship to be successful for both adolescents, it is built on love, trust, respect,
support, and acceptance.

What’s More

Activity 2. My Family, Friends and Significant Other’s Portrait


Directions: In silence, think about your family, friends, and significant other (if there's any).
Assess the quality of your relationships with them. On a blank sheet of paper, draw
the figure below. Illustrate the portrait of your family, friends and significant other (if
there's any) in the designated box. Remember that there is no right or wrong
illustration. Your illustration should reflect how you perceive your relationship with
them right now. At the back of your paper, answer the guide questions.

Family

Friendships Significant
Other
My
Relationships

4
Guide Questions:

1. How did you feel when you were creating the portrait of your family, friends, and partner
(if there’s any)?
2. What made it easy or difficult for you to illustrate it?
3. What are the new things did you realize or discover about your personal relationships?

What I Can Do

Activity 3. Journal Reflection

Directions: Use the given questions to do your reflection journal.

1. From your responses in Activity 2, how will you improve your personal relationships
with your family and friends?

2. How will you set boundaries with your friends and significant other (if you have) so that
you will have a healthy relationship?

5
Lesson
WAYS OF SHOWING ATTRACTION,
2 LOVE, AND COMMITMENT

What I Need to Know

Every human being has his way of expressing his attraction, love, and commitment
due to our different life experiences. When the attraction between two persons is discussed, it
is often perceived as based on physical appearance while this might be true to a certain extent
but there is more to the attraction.
According to Helen Fisher, the attraction is primarily on physiology or certain hormones
that get attracted to others and are the first stage during the changes of personality
development which leads to closeness, love and commitment. However, disappointments in
relationships occur usually because of the misunderstanding about the different ways of
expressing their attraction, love and commitment. Thus, let us explore in this lesson how we
can express our attraction, love and commitment to others.

What’s In

Activity 4: The People I am Attracted to


Directions: Write down the name of the person/s that best fit each statement in the second
column. In the third column, write the reason/s of your attraction similar to the
statement given; you can answer as many as you can. The first statement is given
as an example.
Statement Name of Person/s Reasons
I am feeling attracted to him. Ben Lovely eyes
Beautiful smile
1. I like him/her because he/she is physically
attractive.
2. I am attracted to him/her because I am familiar
with him/her and we often see each other.
3. I am attracted to him/her because we are alike.
4. I am attracted to him/her because we have the
same feelings or we like each other.

6
What Is It

In an attempt to understand the dynamics of attraction, love, and commitment


various approaches explored it. It can be explained through physiological, emotional, and even
historical contexts.

I. Biological Model of Love


As proposed by anthropologist Helen Fisher, there are three brain systems of love:
lust, attraction, and attachment. Each also involves different neurochemicals in the brain.
Depending on a person, a love relationship can start in any of these three.

Lust refers to an urge or desire that motivates us to partake in sexual activity. It is also
described as sex drive associated primarily with estrogens and androgens.

Attraction is described as the love-struck phase. It involves focusing attention on a


particular person. Many factors influence attraction such as physical attractiveness, proximity,
similarity, and reciprocity.
a. Physical Attractiveness is one of the primary determinants of romantic attraction.
Most people prefer whom they consider physically attractive especially in the early
stages of dating.

b. Proximity can be explained when people tend to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them. They are more likely to develop feelings of mutual
familiarity with the people who live close to them. For example, being attracted to
a classmate since you regularly see the person.

c. Similarity is when people choose partners whom they find similarities such as
social class, religious beliefs, and education. It explains when two people share
more attitudes and opinions, the more they will want to do the same activities. As
a result, they would create a strong bond between them.

d. Reciprocity means people like others who like them back. The more a person is
liked by someone, the more he/she behaves in ways that promote mutual feelings
of liking.

7
Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to
another. Usually, long-lasting commitments are exchanged when people are attached even
across time and space.

II. Triangular Theory of Love


There are three main components of love as suggested by Robert Stenberg (1988).
These are intimacy, passion, and commitment. The relationships vary and depend on the
presence or absence of each of these components.

Intimacy is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy.


It is characterized by closeness, connectedness, and boundedness.

Passion is described as an intense emotion towards a person. It is also shown as


compelling interest for someone. Like having a desire to spend time with a person most of the
time.
Commitment is an act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements with
another person. Wherein, the values of integrity and respect are evident in the relationship.
Ways to express commitment in a relationship is showing loyalty and conveying honesty.

The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of love.
Types of Intimacy Passion Commitment Example
Love
Liking Yes No No Friendships
Infatuation No Yes No Experiencing love at first sight or
being obsessed with a person
Empty Love No No Yes Stagnant Relationships or
Arrange marriage
Fatuous No Yes Yes Relationships motivated by a
passion
Companionate Yes No Yes Relationships lacking passion
such as those between family
members or close friends
Romantic Yes Yes No Being bonded emotionally and
physically to another person
Consummate Yes Yes Yes Complete love
8
III. Theory Love Styles
Ancient Greeks studied love and giving each type a Greek name. Lee (1973) offers a
theory derived from an analysis of writings about love through centuries.
Philia – Affectionate Love usually runs deep in true friendship. It occurs without
romantic attraction between friends or family members. It is also called brotherly love when
both people share the same values and respect. It can be shown by engaging in deep
conversation, exchanging beliefs and imperfections, being open and trustworthy, and being
supportive in difficult times.
Pragma – Enduring Love is described as a mature love that develops over time. To
reach this relationship commitment and efforts are needed. With the partner by your side, you
are "standing in love" instead of "falling in love". It is expressed by strengthening the bond,
seeking and showing effort with your partner, and choosing to work with your partner.
Storge – Familiar love is a naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children, as
well as best friends. It’s an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional connection.
It usually flows between parents and children or childhood friends. Ways to show this love are
sacrificing one’s time, self or personal pleasures, showing gratitude and quickly forgiving. You
also share memorable and impactful moments.
Eros – Romantic Love is characterized by personal infatuation and physical pleasure.
It is a passionate love displayed through physical affection. In this case, admiration is focused
on someone's physical body. Hence, the couple engages in physical touch such as hugging
and kissing even if it not appropriate yet.
Ludus – Playful love is a child-like and flirtatious love found in the beginning. This
type of love consists of teasing and playful motives between two people. It is shown by having
fun together.
Mania – Obsessive Love as named is described as obsessiveness or madness over
love. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness. To avoid it, obsessive or possessive
behavior must be recognized to be properly addressed. One should learn to focus on oneself
more than another person.
Philautia – Self Love is having a healthy “self-compassion” towards one’s self.
It is when you recognize your self-worth and don’t ignore your personal needs. Self-love begins
with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being.
Agape – Selfless Love is the highest love to offer. It is an empathetic attitude of love.
It is given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. It is considered
unconditional love. It is expressed by helping the other person improve his life.

9
What’s More

Activity 5. Love Language in the Family


Directions: This activity aims to help you assess your preference in showing your love towards
your parents, friends and significant other. Take the “Love Language Personal
Profile” based on Dr. Gary Cahpman’s The 5 Love Languages using this link
https://bit.ly/3cpjE1H. If you don’t have internet access, you can refer to the
descriptions below.
Love Language Description
"Actions don't always speak louder than the word". Unsolicited compliments
Words of mean the world to you. Wanting to hear "I love you" or other positive compliments
Affirmation you're your partner. And if you don't hear it, then you might feel unloved. Insults
can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You wanted to hear kind
and encouraging words that build you up.
Doing nice things for other people and anything you do to ease the burden of the
other person are "acts of service." Whether it's changing someone's oil, cleaning
Acts of Service the house, or giving a back rub, doing things to help make the other person happy
is what this one is about. Helping with homework can be an expression of love
for you. The words you wanted to hear are "Let me do it for you".
You value giving and receiving gifts and some do not. So, if you measure your
partner’s love by how many gifts you are given, then your love language is
Receiving Gifts “receiving gifts.” Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of
the gifts wanted on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. A missed
birthday or a thoughtless gift would be disastrous.
You measure the quality of love by how much time other people want to spend
with you. If you don't get enough "together time," then you might feel unloved.
Being there for this type of person is critical, but being there – with the TV off,
Quality Time
fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks standby makes you feel truly
special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can
be hurtful.
A person whose primary language is physical touch is not very touchy. Hugs,
pats on the back, holding a hand and thoughtful touches on the arm can show
Physical Touch excitement, concern, care and love. Physical presence and accessibility are
crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate
and timely touches communicate warmth, safety and love to you.

10
What’s I Have Learned

Activity 6: Love Combination


Directions: Identify the perfect combination of a different theory of love styles that can create
something beautiful in your connection with your family, friends and significant
other. Though there isn't a perfect equation for every relationship, these
combinations can provide a perspective on how to work various types of love into
your relationships.

Relationship Combination of Types of Love


Family ___________+____________+_____________
Friendship ___________+____________+_____________
Significant Other ___________+____________+_____________

What’s I Can Do

Activity 7: Journal Reflection


Directions: Based on What’s More: Activity 6 and 7, upon knowing the results of your self-
assessment and formula of relationship you have created, reflect and write in
your journal the following:
1. Write your love language and the love languages of your listed family members such
as parents and siblings, friends and significant other.
2. Discuss how you can further express your love and commitment to them to grow your
relationship with them.

11
Lesson

BEING RESPONSIBLE
3 IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

What’s New

Activity 8: Friendship Stoplight Analogy


Directions: Recognize examples of positive and negative behaviors related to healthy and
unhealthy relationships. The purpose of this activity is to explore relationships
using a stoplight analogy. Color the circle corresponding to your answer.
⚫ RED – Stop! These are a bad sign of a relationship.
⚫ YELLOW – Caution! These are warning signs of a relationship.
⚫ GREEN – Go! These are good signs of a friendship!
1. You are afraid of your friend’s temper. 9. Your friend threatens to hurt you.

2. You enjoy being with this person but 10. You say that you agree with your
you also enjoy spending time with friends, even though you don't. You
other friends. are afraid they won't be your friend
anymore if you disagree with them.
3. Your friend pressures you to do 11. You rarely get to plan what the two of
things you do not want to do. you will do together.
4. Your friend tells you not to hang out 12. You are nervous that if you tell your
with certain people. friend something personal, he/she
will tell other people at school.
5. You usually feel happy when you are 13. Your friend is happy when good
with this person. things happen to you and celebrates
your successes.
6. Your friends talk to you about his/her 14. Your friends sometimes make fun of
feelings. you.
7. Your friend criticizes you or the people 15. Your friend respects your feelings and
you care about. your opinions.
8. Your friend bullies and makes fun of
other people at school.

12
What Is It
The situations given in the previous activity can all be applicable among your family
and significant other or partner. Learn to recognize examples of people who engage in
negative behaviors that lead to unhealthy relationships. These are some important aspects of
healthy relationships.

Important Aspects for Healthy Relationships


Adapted from Woititz, J., Adult Children of Alcoholics
Mutual Respect Do I treat the other person as if he/she is of value?
Compassion Do I have a genuine concern for the issues that cause the other
person's concern?
Empathy To what degree am I able to allow myself to be open to what he/she
feels?
Understanding Do I try to understand the other person, what they say or do?
Acceptance Can I feel I am okay the way I am? Do I accept him/her as he/she is?

Honesty Is the relationship built on truthfulness, or are there games involved?

Trust To what degree am I willing to let the other person know private
aspects of my thoughts, feelings, and life?
Good Can we talk freely about issues that are important to the
Communication relationships?
Do we know how to talk so we each are understood and sharing is
safe?
Consideration Am I mindful of the other person’s needs as well as my own?
Compatibility To what extent do we like and value the same things?
Mutual In areas of disagreement, are we able to agree or disagree?
Enjoyment
Personal Integrity Am I able to maintain my beliefs and sense of self as well as offer my
time and attention to the relationship?
Vulnerability To what degree can I let down my barriers and allow the other person
to see my perceived weaknesses, without fear of negative reactions
from them?

13
What’s More

Activity 9: Becoming Responsible in a Relationship


Directions: Divide your paper into two columns and identify healthy and unhealthy
relationships. Consider your choices as someone being responsible in a
relationship.

1. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.
2. You do not try to control each other. There is an equal amount of giving and take.
3. You feel sad, angry, scared, or worried.
4. There are communication, sharing and trust. You feel safe to share secrets.
5. You feel that you give more attention to them than they give to you. You feel controlled.
6. You don’t communicate, share or trust.
7. You like to spend time together but also enjoy doing things apart.
8. You feel pressured to spend time together and you feel guilty when you’re both apart from
each other.
9. You feel the need to be someone that you are not.
10. It’s easy to be yourself when you are with them.
11. You respect each other's opinions. You listen and try to understand their point of view
even if you don't always agree with them.
12. You feel the need to be someone that you are not.
13. There is no fear in your relationship.
14. You feel there’s no respect for you or your opinion. You are not able to disagree.
15. You feel fear in your relationship.

14
What I Can Do

Activity 10: Journal Reflection


Directions: Knowing the ways to nurture your relationship with others, reflect and write in your
journal the following:
1. Write possible ways on how you will change your unhealthy relationship with them into
a healthy relationship (if there's any).
2. What are the things you can do or promise to yourself to become responsible for
maintaining the healthy relationship you have with other people?

15
Summary
1. Personal Relationship refers to the association and close connections between
people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions.
2. Different Types of Relationships: family, friendship, romantic relationships.
3. Three Brain Systems of Love or Stages: Lust, Attraction and Attachment.
4. A factor of Attraction is physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity.
5. Three Components of Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Strenberg: Intimacy,
Passion and Commitment
6. The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of love: Non
love, liking, infatuation, empty love, fatuous, companionate, romantic consummate
7. Eight love styles name after Greek names:
✓ PHILIA – Affectionate Love
✓ PRAGMA – Enduring Love
✓ STORGE – Familiar love
✓ EROS – Romantic Love
✓ LUDUS –Playful love
✓ MANIA –Obsessive Love
✓ PHILAUTIA –Self Love
✓ AGAPE –Selfless Love
8. Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Cahpman
✓ Words of Affirmation
✓ Acts of Service
✓ Receiving Gifts
✓ Quality Time
✓ Physical Touch
9. Important aspects to nurture relationship are the following: mutual respect,
compassion, empathy, understanding, acceptance, honesty, trust, good
communication, consideration, compatibility, mutual enjoyment, personal dignity,
vulnerability

16
Assessment: (Post-Test)

Multiple Choice. Select the letter of the best answer among the given choices.

1. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfill and live by agreements made with another
person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect serve as a guide
to one's behavior and thinking.
A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

2. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a healthy
“self-compassion” love towards one’s self.
A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

3. Which of the following influence the person to get attracted to people whom they find
similarities with each other?
A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity
B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

4. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for your family?
A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus
B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

5. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others whom they find
physically attractive?
A. Physical Attractiveness C. Similarity
B. Proximity D. Reciprocity

6. It is described as the love-struck phase which is part of lust because it involves


focusing our attention on a particular person or desire.
A. Passion C. Commitment
B. Attraction D. Attachment

7. Which of the following is NOT an element of a healthy relationship?


A. One person makes all the decisions C. Understanding
B. Trust one another D. Mutual respect

8. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is characterized by the


intimate, non-passionate type of love with a long term commitment.
A. Consummate C. Romantic
B. Companionate D. Fatuous

17
9. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered as selfless or
unconditional love.

A. Philia C. Agape
B. Storge D. Philautia

10. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for friendship?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia C. Pragma Eros, Ludus


B. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

11. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is an ideal and complete form
of love with intimacy, passion and commitment.

A. Consummate C. Romantic
B.Companionate D. Fatuous

12. Which of the following is a good sign of an unhealthy relationship?

A. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.
B. There is communication, sharing, and trust.
C. You feel fear in your relationship.
D. You feel safe to share secrets.

13. Which of the following is a good sign of a healthy relationship?

A. Your friend is happy when good things happen to you.


B. You are afraid of your friend's temper.
C. Your friend threatens to hurt you
D. Your friend makes fun of you.

14. Which of the following is appropriate to do in expressing your attraction to your


significant other?

A. Kissing B. Smiling at each other


C. Intimate activities D. Invading personal space

15. This refers to the close connections between people, formed by emotional
bonds and interactions.

A. Personal Development C. Intimacy


B. Personal Relationship D. Commitment

18
19
ACTIVITY 8: Stoplight Analogy
RED LIGHT: These are bad signs in a relationship
1. You are afraid of your friend’s temper.
Your friend threatens to hurt you.
Your friend pressures you to do things you do not want to do.
Your friend criticizes you or the people you care about.
You are nervous that if you tell your friend something personal, he/she will tell other
people at school.
Your friends sometimes make fun of you.
YELLOW LIGHT: These are warning signs in a relationship
Your friend tells you not to hang out with certain people
You say that you agree with your friends, even though you don't. You are afraid they
won't be your friend anymore if you disagree with them.
. You rarely get to plan what the two of you will do together.
Your friend is happy when good things happen to you and celebrates your successes.
Your friend bullies and makes fun of other people at school.
GREENLIGHT: These are good signs in a relationship
You enjoy being with this person but you also enjoy spending time with other friends.
You usually feel happy when you are with this person.
Your friends talk to you about his/her feelings.
Your friend respects your feelings and your opinions.
ACTIVITY 6: Love Combination POST-TEST PRE-TEST
FAMILY = Storge + Agape + Philia 1. C 1. C
FRIENDSHIP=Philia + Storge + Philautia 2. D 2. B
3. C 3. B
SIGNIFICANT OTHER =Pragma +Eros+Ludus
4. A 4. D
5. A 5. C
6. B 6. B
7. A 7. B
8. B 8. A
9. C 9. C
10. D 10. D
11. A 11. A
12. C 12. D
13. A 13. B
14. B 14. D
15. C 15. B
Answer Key
20
ACTIVITY 9: Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationship
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
You feel good about yourself when You feel sad, angry, scared, or worried.
you’re around the other person.
You do not try to control each other. You feel that you give more attention to
There is an equal amount of giving and them than they give to you. You feel
take. controlled.
There are communication, sharing and You don’t communicate, share or trust.
trust. You feel safe to share secrets.
You like to spend time together but also You feel fear in your relationship.
enjoy doing things apart.
There is no fear in your relationship. You feel the need to be someone that
It’s easy to be yourself when you are you are not.
with them.
You feel there’s no respect for you or You feel pressured to spend time
your opinion. You are not able to together and you feel guilty when you’re
disagree. both apart from each other.
References

Apurado, Angeliza. Learning Activity Sheets in Personality Development (SHARED-O).


Accessed June 6, 2020. https://bit.ly/2ySBo7M

Chapman, Gary. “The Five Love Languages and your Teen”. Focus on the Family. Last modified
January 1, 2012. Accessed June 13, 2020. https://bit.ly/2TEBkiR

“Chapter 8 Early Adulthood: Types of Love”. ER Services: Developmental Psychology. Accessed


June 16, 2020, https://bit.ly/2GePYu1

“Characteristics of a Healthy, Functional Romantic Relationship”. Google. Accessed last June


16, 2020, https://bit.ly/3cu8pVA

“Different Types of Relationships”. Google. Accessed June 16, 2020, https://bit.ly/3mDF5kZ

Fernandez, Barbara W., Estesa Q. Legaspi, Carolyn c. Quiba, and Mae R. Rafanan. Personal
Development (Reader). Quezon City, Philippines: Sunshine Interlinks Publishing
House, Inc., 2016. Accessed June 6, 2020. https://bit.ly/3eLsx75

Feuerman, Marni. “Sternberg's Triangular Theory and the 7 Types of Love”. Verywellmind. Last
modified January 5, 2020. Accessed June 13, 2020. https://bit.ly/3gKRaCT

FTD Fresh. “The 8 Different Types of Love + the Perfect Combo for You”. FTD by Design (blog).
Last modified January 16, 2020. Accessed June 13, 2020. https://bit.ly/3kNHAAL

Larena, Josefina T. “Personal Relationship”. Slideshare. Last modified December 6, 2016.


Accessed June 13, 2020. https://bit.ly/2AsEYpQ

Morgan, Carol. “Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner)”.
Lifehack. Accessed June 13, 2020., https://bit.ly/34NOuRb

“Pathways”. PersonalityQuiz.net. Accessed June 16, 2020. https://bit.ly/35T5aWm

Peel Public Health Department. “Responsible and Healthy Relationships”. Google. Accessed
June 16, 2020. https://bit.ly/2XnY75e

Slater, Faye., “5 Easy Ways to Communicate Your Commitment to your Relationship”. Faye
Slater Counselling. Last modified April 26, 2017. Accessed June 13, 2020.
https://bit.ly/3gJksBO

The Connection Lab McGill University. “Peer Relationships”. Accessed June 16, 2020.
https://bit.ly/2HNEaiQ

Torres, Rupert G. “Chapter 10 Personal Relationship”. Slideshare. Last modified March 7, 2017.
Accessed June 13, 2020. https://bit.ly/2yWjUrj

Washington State. “Module12:Attraction”. Pressbooks. Accessed June 13, 2020.


https://bit.ly/2U1DTMl

Whitbourne, Susan K. “Which of 7 Types of Love Relationships Fits Yours?”. Psychology Today.
Last modified August 17, 2013. Accessed June 13, 2020, https://bit.ly/2Bqweku

21
For inquiries and feedback, please write or call:

Department of Education – Bureau of Learning Resources (DepEd-BLR)

DepEd Division of Cagayan de Oro City


Fr. William F. Masterson Ave., Upper Balulang, Cagayan de Oro
Telefax: ((08822)855-0048
E-mail Address: cagayandeoro.city@deped.gov.ph

You might also like