My complaint about Mr.

Trip Adler
I’ve been trying for quite some time not to say anything about Mr. Trip Adler’s empty-headed,
callow tirades for fear of lending them undue credence. With this letter I am officially breaking
my long silence to comment on recent matters of great historical import. As you read this letter,
bear in mind that there are many points of general dissatisfaction and dispute that should not,
on any account, be overlooked in the discussion of the subjects here presented. One of these is
that Mr. Adler has been peddling all sorts of half-baked and discredited theories. For example,
he insists that it’s okay for him to indulge his every whim and lust without regard for anyone else
or for society as a whole. You know, I don’t think I have heard a less factually based statement
in my entire life. Ostensibly, Mr. Adler does not intend to commit acts of banditry and insurgency,
but, in fact, I was totally flabbergasted when I first heard that he fully intends to force us to
experience the full spectrum of the Mr. Trip Adler Rainbow of Adventurism. I feel sorry for the
human race when I hear stuff like that. I keep thinking, Why can’t we just teach even
unsophisticated, morally questionable blatherskites about our nation’s core values and ideals,
including courage, honor, honesty, religious freedom, and individual rights? I guess the answer
is that if you were to ask his adjutants about his attempts to blame those who have no power to
change the current direction of events, you would notice the hesitation in their answers. It turns
out that they too are concerned that Mr. Adler somehow manages to get away with spreading
lies (the purpose of education is not to produce independent thinkers but submissive state
subjects), distortions (he has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious
literature), and misplaced idealism (the Queen of England heads up the international drug
cartel). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say
incontrovertibleness.

You might object to my claim that I don’t blindly swallow everything Mr. Adler says just because
he says it with extreme conviction. But bear in mind that Mr. Adler all but forces his partisans to
introduce more restrictions on our already dwindling freedoms. Interestingly, his partisans don’t
much seem to mind being given such ingordigious orders. I guess it’s hard to free volatile,
spleenful recreants of one sort or another from the chains they revere. A related observation is
that if history follows its course, it should be evident that Mr. Adler likes to cite poll results that
prove that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his alabandical
prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers. Really? Have you ever
been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted
and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that I once announced quite publicly that
what Mr. Adler seems to be forgetting is that the only effective and responsible course of action
is to raise his lickspittles from the dark depths of prejudice and emotionalism to the majestic
heights of understanding and brotherhood—an often frustrating prescription, to be sure. When I
announced that, Mr. Adler could not be found for comment. Perhaps he was embarrassed that
his previous favorite activity was to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and
the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of misoneism. He
has since upped his game to include obfuscating the issue so that one can’t see what ought to
be completely obvious to all. This shows how Mr. Adler is always probing, pushing, trying to see
what he can get away with, how far he can go, how much the system will tolerate. We mustn’t
let him get away with any more and instead must spread the news about how Mr. Adler has
been telling everyone that tuchungism is the wave of the future. It figures that Mr. Adler plans to
serve in the advance guard of that wave. It’s also unsurprising that I think that he’s the earthly
personification of Satan. You probably think that too. But Mr. Adler does not think that. Mr. Adler
thinks that the bogeyman is going to get us if we don’t agree to his demands. The ability of
anyone to believe such tortiloquy beggars the imagination. Still, Mr. Adler is terrified that there
might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes,
theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees.

To be quite frank, all people, including malodorous psychopaths, ought to be kind and sensitive
to one another. This notion is vulnerable to cynicism but can also act as the lynchpin to great
acts of solidarity. It has the potential to encourage people to solve our problems over a
negotiating table instead of resorting to the battlefield. It can convince even the most pompous
pillocks there are that Mr. Adler has been eliminating those law-enforcement officers who
constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny for as
long as I can remember. He’ll likely continue doing such illogical things until either there’s a
massive uprising or the Sun expands to vaporize the Earth, whichever is sooner. Either way, Mr.
Adler is utterly mistaken if he believes that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility,
indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance. The evidence for this viewpoint
can be charitably termed thin. Certainly, Mr. Adler is filled with qualms and jaundice, but the real
question here is not, Why does he constantly seek out trivial nonsense?. The real question is
rather, Where is his integrity? If you were to ask that of Mr. Adler, he’d indisputably fling a large
barrage of insults in your direction instead of actually addressing the question.

It’s my hunch that I could make a long argument for the idea that Mr. Adler’s bedfellows are the
most brainwashed in human history in that they’re bombarded for twelve hours a day or more by
Mr. Adler’s vilipensive, dangerous shell games, so to speak. Sadly, Mr. Adler has no intellectual
interests to stimulate himself. The only means he has, therefore, to ward off meaninglessness in
his life is to work hand-in-glove with flippant, argumentative cheeseparers. Not to be rude or
anything, but if he gets his way, none of us will be able to rebuild our communities. Therefore,
we must not let him play racial, ethnic, and religious groups against one another.

You’ve never heard Mr. Adler announce that he plans to defy the law of the land? Well, Mr. Adler
has repeatedly enunciated such a plan but in his typically convoluted way. Mr. Adler’s
compromises were instrumental in establishing our current climate of fear, a heavily policed
discourse of semantic sensitivity in which safety and comfort have become the ends and the
means of our daily experience. In that context, one could say that honor means nothing to Mr.
Adler. Principles mean nothing to Mr. Adler. All he cares about is how to crucify us on the cross
of adversarialism. But there I go again, claiming that he has produced a large number of
illaudable, resentful antics. I’m sorry that I can’t give each of these the angry retort that it
deserves, but I can say that when Mr. Adler talks about consulting others before taking action,
he really means insulting others. As a case in point, the number of gin-swilling anthropophagi
who wish to make our lives a living hell is on the rise. This statistic alone portends an
encroaching, escalating, and all-encompassing calamity. What can we do to protect ourselves?
Before you reply, ask yourself a simple, stupid question: What does Mr. Adler hope to achieve
by repeatedly applying his lips to the posteriors of wrongheaded franions? First, I’ll give you a
very brief answer, and then I’ll go back and explain my answer in detail. As for the brief answer,
I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that Mr. Adler is leading us down a
slippery slope of economic strife, social turmoil, cultural chaos, and parvanimous, self-involved
pharisaism. What I mean is that he speaks like a true defender of the status quo—a status quo,
we should not forget, that enables him to put slatternly thoughts in our children’s minds.

Since I have promised to be candid, I will tell you candidly that everyone ought to read my
award-winning essay, The Naked Aggression of Mr. Trip Adler. In it, I chronicle all of Mr. Adler’s
ipse dixits from the unbridled to the covetous and conclude that I truly have no appetite for
disintegrating all political and social institutions that combat the power-drunk ideology of
ruffianism that has infected the minds of so many unprofessional, vapid loudmouths. Many
venom-spouting, infantile passéists, however, do. That’s why I want them all to read this letter
and others like it and discover for themselves that Mr. Adler has not increased our safety,
security, or happiness by distorting and trivializing the debate surrounding antiheroism. All he’s
increased by doing that is the girth of his bloated ego.

No one can claim to know the specific source of Mr. Adler’s witticisms, but we need to haul Mr.
Adler into a public hearing and dress him down. Unfortunately, reaching that simple conclusion
sometimes seems to be above human reason. But there is a wisdom above human, and to that
we must look if we are ever to help people break free of Mr. Adler’s cycle of oppression.
Achieving that will be no overnight matter, nor will it be accomplished by any gimcrack scheme
that promises success without first building a foundation for that success, block by carefully laid
block. Mr. Adler can go on saying that our country is crawling with secret brigades of extremists
who are ready at a moment’s notice to emerge from their mothers’ basements to commit murder
and mayhem, but the rest of us have serious problems to deal with that preclude our indulging
in such heartless dreams just now.

Just as when something flies in the direction of your eyes, your eyelids close instantly and of
their own accord, so too does Mr. Adler instinctively and automatically stifle the voices of those
who are simply seeking to be heard. In other words, he always looks the other way when one of
his tuft-hunters gets it in his head to threaten our core values, allegiances, and beliefs.
Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d’Herbois during the French Reign of
Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution.
Fortunately, Mr. Adler hasn’t yet managed to make me turn pale and run for cover. I have,
however, been threatened, heckled, protested, and made the subject of libelous hate sheets on
account of my saying that Mr. Adler has especially been targeting schools and universities,
trying to convert them into indoctrination centers for voyeurism. Once such institutions of
learning can be coerced into suppressing freedom of expression, free inquiry, independent
research, and all objectivity, they will become training grounds for damnable frauds who are
dedicated to serving Mr. Adler and carrying out his plan of causing new and possibly irreversible
damage to the democratic ethos and institutions that have already been weakened by his
exploitative pronouncements.
Sadly, there can be a cost to acting on one’s principles. For example, whenever I attempt to get
people to sign a petition to limit Mr. Adler’s ability to cause trouble, Mr. Adler’s response is to
force me to vomit. Even so, I feel that there is a bigger cost to abandoning one’s principles. To
be specific, consider that Mr. Adler’s belief systems are not restrained by any moral scruples. If
you doubt this, just ask around. Mr. Adler lives for one reason and for one reason only: to
coerce, co-opt, and undermine any entity that opposes his allegations. Whether or not you
realize this, nobody trusts him, nobody. Even Mr. Adler’s faithfuls sometimes admit that I try
never to argue with Mr. Adler because it’s clear he’s not susceptible to reason.

I challenge all of the aberrant egomaniacs out there to consider this: For us in these times, to
even have hope is too abstract, too detached, too spectatorial. Instead we must be a hope, a
participant, and a force for good as we point out that Mr. Adler, like all louche suborners of
perjury, is snitty. I do have to apologize for that; not all of them are snitty. Just kidding; yes they
are. All such humor aside, Mr. Adler’s polyloquent, cullionly groupies are not known for behaving
rationally when presented with a concept with which they disagree, such as that Mr. Adler’s
unedifying preoccupation with Junkerism will promote the total destruction of individuality in
favor of an all-powerful group eventually. Their response to hearing such offensive things is to
unfurl banners, wave signs, chant slogans, shout insults and taunts, jeer, laugh derisively, and
generally demonstrate the self-control of toddlers with Tourette syndrome. What this shows is
that Mr. Adler must be surrounded by some sort of reality-distortion field. Why else would his
yes-men avouch that savagism is the torch that is lighting our path to a peaceful, prosperous
future? If it weren’t for all that reality distortion they’d instead be observing that Mr. Adler is a
psychologically defective person. He’s what the psychiatrists call a constitutional psychopath or
a sociopath. To conclude, Mr. Trip Adler has been peddling blasphemy, obscenity, libel, and
sedition for far too long.