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BAND 8.0 ESSAY ANALYSIS

This is the best time to live due to the development of technology in communication and health. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

SENTENCES ANALYSIS

Genearl background information/ recent trend

1. In the contemporary world, the advances in technology have brought a major
OPENING (xem mẫu trong cấu trúc writing task 2 >>>
improvement in humans’ living standards.
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2. This could be seen in a paradigm shift in the way people communicate and
take care of their well-being.
3. This essay will support this argument by analyzing how technology supports
humans’ lives on a daily basis.
>>>This essay will support this argument by analyzing how convenient smart
devices really are and how effective modern technology could assist medical
practioners in hospital treatment.
4. In regard to human communication, technology has played an integral part in
BODY 1
our daily lives.
5. First, by using technological devices such as mobile phones and tablets,
people, especially elders, are now able to keep in touch with their family
members regardless of geographical distance.
Narrow the scope of your sentence.
Tập trung hơn vào topic của đề bài.
Câu thể hiện position và outline toàn bộ quan
điểm của mình bằng 1 câu.
(phần summary toàn bộ nội dung bài sẽ dành
cho các bạn aim 7.0+) – tuy nhiên, ở đây thầy
vẫn chưa hài lòng vì summary này nói khá chung
chung nên nên mình sẽ viết lại câu 3 ở bên dưới.
Sửa lại câu 3
Câu topic sentence, chỉ ý chung của bài. Câu
đơn giản nhưng chú ý ăn điểm ở các collocation
(an integral part in/ daily lives…) để ý các câu
đằng sau về collocation.
Câu đưa luận điểm 1, support cho topic
sentence đoạn 1. Cái này cần rõ ràng và mạch
lạc.

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Câu này viết theo lối tư duy ngược (học trong

6. In fact, before the invention of such smart devices, delivering and receiving a
cấu trúc writing task 2 >>>
message required physical travel, costing unnecessary money, effort and time.
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7. Second, the Internet has offered effective and efficient ways to communicate Câu đưa luận điểm 2, support cho topic
with others. sentence đoạn 1.
8. Social networking sites, for example, have become an Internet platform where
users are able to instantly reach international friends and even professional Chú ý cách dùng từ cụ thể và rõ ràng, đi sâu vào
connections, which promotes better social behaviors and strengthens social chi tiết và nhấn mạnh ở ‘even’
connections.
9. Concerning the healthcare sphere, the impacts that robotic technology has Topic sentence 2, câu này có cấu trúc ‘the
BODY 2
had on our lives have clear advantages. impacts (cái gì đó)… has clear advantages’
10. First, robots can now assist surgeons since they can perform tasks requiring Câu đưa luận điểm 1, support cho topic
pinpoint accuracy. sentence đoạn 2. Chú ý collocation.
11. The media, for instance, has revealed many successful fetal surgeries with Câu này viết theo lối cho ví dụ (học trong cấu
robotic equipment removing brain tumor with great precision, which proves trúc writing task 2 >>> https://ryanielts.com/tai-
how advanced modern technology has become. lieu-ebook )
12. Second, it is hard to imagine how people now are able to monitor their health
Câu đưa luận điểm 2, support cho topic
status through wearable devices such as the Apple watch or Misfit health
sentence đoạn 2.
trackers.
13. Not only do the devices save people from expensive medical procedures, but
Câu đảo ngữ >>> điểm grammar, cơ mà chỉ nên
they provide more data to clinicians with the potential for earlier diagnoses
cho 1 câu
and guidance for treatment.
14. In conclusion, through decades of technological development, humans have
CONCLUSION received a myriad of its merits from communication to healthcare services, Summary lại ý chính của mình
raising the quality of their lives.
Đưa prediction
15. Even though there will still be many hurdles in the future, I am firmly
NOTE: tất cả cấu trúc và cách lập luận đều được
convinced that humankind can keep advancing and find a way to combat any
phân tích trong tài liệu cấu trúc task 2 >>>
problems encountered from modern technology.
https://ryanielts.com/tai-lieu-ebook )

Composed by Vu Hai Ryan

https://www.ryanielts.com/