You are on page 1of 23

10

English 10
Quarter 3  Module 3

Compose an Independent
Critique

VANESSA L. ABUBO
Developer
Department of Education Cordillera Administrative Region

ii
Department of Education • Cordillera Administrative Region
Republic of the Philippines
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
Cordillera Administrative Region
SCHOOLS DIVISION OF CAR
Wangal, La Trinidad, Benguet

Published by
Learning Resource Management and Development System

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
2020

Section 9 of Presidential Decree No. 49 provides:

“No copyright shall subsist in any work of the Government of the


Philippines. However, prior approval of the government agency of office
wherein the work is created shall be necessary for exploitation of such work
for profit.”

This material has been developed for the implementation of K-12 Curriculum
through the DepEd Schools Division of Baguio City – Curriculum
Implementation Division (CID). It can be reproduced for educational purposes
and the source must be acknowledged. Derivatives of the work including
creating an edited version, an enhancement or a supplementary work are
permitted provided all original work is acknowledged and the copyright is
attributed. No work may be derived from this material for commercial
purposes and profit.

iii
PREFACE

This module is a project of the DepEd Schools Division of Baguio City


through the Curriculum Implementation Division (CID) which is in response
to the implementation of the K to 12 Curriculum.

This Learning Material is a property of the Department of Education,


Schools Division of Baguio City. It aims to improve students’ academic
performance specifically in English.

Date of Development : January 2021


Resource Location : DepEd Schools Division of Baguio City
Learning Area : English
Grade Level : 10
Learning Resource Type : Module
Language : English
Quarter/Week : Q3/W3
Learning Competency/Code : Compose an independent critique of a
chosen selection

iii
English– Grade 10
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 3 – Module 3: Writing an Independent Critique

Republic Act 8293, section 176 states that: No copyright shall subsist in
any work of the Government of the Philippines. However, prior approval of the
government agency or office wherein the work is created shall be necessary for
exploitation of such work for profit. Such agency or office may, among other things,
impose as a condition the payment of royalties.

Borrowed materials (i.e., songs, stories, poems, pictures, photos, brand


names, trademarks, etc.) included in this book are owned by their respective
copyright holders. Every effort has been exerted to locate and seek permission to use
these materials from their respective copyright owners. The publisher and authors
do not represent nor claim ownership over them.

Published by the Department of Education


Secretary: Leonor Magtolis Briones
Undersecretary: Diosdado M. San Antonio
Assistant Secretary: Alma Ruby C. Torio

Development Team of the Module


Writers: Vanessa L. Abubo
Editor:
Illustrator:
Layout Artist:
Management Team: Regional Director: Estela L. Cariño, EdD, CESO IV
CLMD Chief: Carmel F. Meris
Regional EPS-LRMDS: Ethielyn Taqued, EdD
Regional ADM Coordinator: Edgar H. Madlaing
CID Chief: Juliet H. Sannad, EdD
Division EPS-LRMDS: Loida C. Mangangey, PhD
Division ADM Coordinator:

iv
TABLE OF CONTENTS

COPYRIGHT NOTICE .................................................................................. iii


PREFACE ................................................................................................... iii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ..................................Error! Bookmark not defined.
TABLE OF CONTENTS ..................................................................................v
What I Need to Know ................................................................................... 1
What I Know ................................................................................................ 2
What’s In ..................................................................................................... 4
What’s New .................................................................................................. 5
Activity: Remember Me .......................................................................... 5
What Is It .................................................................................................... 5
What’s More ................................................................................................ 8
Activity: Critique’s Critique .................................................................... 8
What I Have Learned ................................................................................... 9
Activity: Acros-tique ............................................................................... 9
What I Can Do ........................................................................................... 10
Activity: Critic’s Circle.......................................................................... 10
Assessment ............................................................................................. 111
Additional Activity ................................................................................... 122
Activity: Second Opinion .................................................................... 122
ANSWER KEY .......................................................................................... 133
REFERENCES ......................................................................................... 144

v
Lesson Compose an Independent Critique
1 of a Chosen Selection

What I Need to Know

Hello learner! This module was designed and written with you in mind.
Primarily, its scope is to help you compose a well-written critique of a short
story.

While going through this module, you are expected to:


1. identify the common elements of a narrative;
2. evaluate sample critiques about works of fiction; and
3. write an in-depth evaluation of a story in the form of a critique.
Now, here is an outline of the different parts of your learning module.
The descriptions will guide you on what to expect on each part of the module.

Icon Label Description


This states the learning objectives that you
What I need to
need to achieve as you study this module.
know
This is to check what you already know about
What I know
the lesson on this module. If you answered all
the questions here correctly, then you may
skip studying this module.
This connects the current lesson with a topic
What’s In
or concept necessary to your understanding.

This introduces the lesson to be tackled


What’s New
through an activity.

This contains a brief discussion of the


What Is it
learning module lesson. Think of it as the
lecture section of the lesson.
These are activities to check your
What’s More
understanding and to apply what you have
learned from the lesson.
This generalizes the essential ideas tackled
What I have
from this module.
Learned
This is a real life application of what you have
What I Can Do
learned.

This is an evaluation of what you have


Post-Assessment
learned from this learning material.

This is an activity that will strengthen and


Additional Activity
fortify your knowledge about the lesson.

1
What I Know

Activity #1: Multiple Choice


Choose the letter of the best answer, and write it on a separate sheet of paper.
1. Which of these terms is often used interchangeably with the word
“critique”?
A. Summary B. Synopsis C. Review D. Report
2. Which statement is not true about a critique?
A. It is a purely opinionated piece of writing about a story, novel,
film, etc.
B. It is usually done by experts or people with considerable
knowledge about the work.
C. It does not place emphasis on giving recommendations to
possible readers or viewers.
D. It is an in-depth evaluation or assessment of a piece of work
such as a short story or film.
3. Which of these story elements is not tackled in a critique?
A. Characterization B. Conflict C. Plot D. None of the above
4. Which of these is not an appropriate subject for critical analysis?
A. Films B. Novels C. Speeches D. Short
Stories
5. What information or details is usually included in a critique’s
introduction?
A. structure of the plot
B. authenticity of the conflict
C. significance of the dialogues
D. background or summary of the selection
6. Which of these questions should be asked when analyzing the
characters in a narrative?
A. Do we know enough about them to make them interesting and
relatable?
B. Are there equal number of male and female characters?
C. Who among the characters is likeable and who is not?
D. Why is the protagonist not a superhero material?
7. What detail can a critic use best to support his/her evaluation of a
story?
A. Opinions of those who read the story
B. Quotes from the story itself
C. Statements of the author
D. Reviews of other critics

For numbers 8-11, write TRUE if the statement is correct, and FALSE if
not.
________ 8. Critiques may follow different formats but they generally
have the same content or foci.
________ 9. A critique is intended primarily to point out the faults or

2
flaws in work.
________ 10. It is alright to not give a summary of the story critiqued
because the readers are most likely familiar with it
already.
________ 11. A critic is encouraged to write “I think…” or “In my
opinion…” in his/her critical essay.

For numbers 12-15, identify the correct order of these steps in writing a
critique by assigning the numbers 1 to 4.
_____ 12. Give recommendations as needed.
_____ 13. Give a short summary of the story.
_____ 14. Give an overall evaluation of the story.
_____ 15. State your analysis of the setting, characterization, plot, etc.

3
What’s In

How would you know which books are a good read, or what
movies are worth your time and money? You would probably ask your friends
for any recommendation, or browse the internet for stories or flicks that
received good reviews. It could also be that before you watch a film on
YouTube, you would first read the series to comments and decide whether to
continue watching or not.
Other people’s evaluation of these creative works matter, especially
when we cannot easily decide on what to read or view. Their evaluation or
judgement of a material can come in the form of a simple comment that is
highly opinionated, or in something more formal and informative such as a
review or a critique.
Often used interchangeably, a review and a critic are both an evaluation
of a work such as books and films. However, these two are different things;
they only share the same components. According to Shailesh Yadav (2017), a
review is an assessment about a recent work, which generally aims to
promote or recommend that work to other readers, viewers or consumers. A
critique, on the other hand, is a more in-depth evaluation which is not aimed
at promoting a particular work. Also, the subject does not have to be recently
released or published.
As a consumer of various stories (be it printed or online) and movies,
you need to be informed and be critical about what you read and watch. And
while it is good to read existing critiques and reviews about what is trending,
it is also necessary for you to be able to write your own critique of the materials
or texts that you are reading.

4
What’s New
Activity #2: REMEMBER ME?
Read the following sentences taken from Anton Chekhov’s “A Day in
the Country,” and identify what narrative element they are. Write your
answer on a separate sheet of paper
CHARACTERIZATION PLOT SETTING
THEME CONFLICT DIALOGUE

1. Every act of kindness is an expression of love.


2. A dark leaden-colored mass is creeping over the sky towards the sun.
In a minute there will be a spurt of May rain and a real storm will
begin.
3. Terenty is a tall old man with a thin, pock-marked face, very long legs,
and bare feet, dressed in a woman’s tattered jacket, looking with
drowsy eyes.
4. Terenty and Fyokla’s feet are covered with lumps of heavy, wet clay. It
is slippery and difficult to walk, but Terenty strides on more and more
rapidly. The weak little beggar-girl is breathless and ready to stop.
5. “It’s terrible how it is thundering,” the boy says again, rubbing his
hand.

What Is It

A critique is an in-depth evaluation of a story, novel, film, etc. for the


purpose of giving its reading public an insight into the material. Although a
critique share the same root with the word “criticize,” it does not mean that
the write-up merely points out the faults or flaws in a story or film. Instead, a
critique seeks to shed light about the content of a “text” (the story, novel, song,
movie etc.) in order to help future readers or viewers understand better the
material that they are reading or viewing.
Critical essays about texts are indeed very important in helping us
make sense of what we just read or viewed. At times, it can also inform our
decisions on what other good materials we can read or watch next. But what
are the elements that make a critique so informative? And what aspects of a
story or movie are assessed or studied by a critic?
Critiques contain a careful evaluation mainly on the following elements
of a narrative: characterization, setting, conflict, plot, dialogue, theme and style.
These aspects, as well as the manner that they were presented in the material,
are studied so that the critic can come up with a valid evaluation on whether

5
or not the material is good, beautiful, or significant especially for the viewers
or consumers.
In assessing the said elements, there are certain questions that the
critic should ask. David Farland (2017) and other critics enumerated some
questions one might use to judge a story, or other narratives:
Setting: How well was the setting developed? Does it appeal to more
than one of the senses? Does it inform or connect to other aspects of
the story such as character development and narrative style?
Characterization: How well-drawn are the characters in the story? Do
we know enough about them (life, attitudes, some type of history, etc.)
to make them interesting and relatable? Are there unnecessary
characters?
Conflict and Plot: Is there a conflict in the story? Is the plot interesting,
original and well-developed? Are there unnecessary and confusing
subplots?
Theme: How well does the story speak to the readers? Does it raise
questions about life, or provide profound insights?
Style: How distinctive or unique is the writing style? Are there literary
devices or techniques used? Is it purposeful? Does the style remind you
of any other authors you have read?
Having the answer to all these questions does not mean that the critique
is complete. There are other minor yet necessary details to include, and
everything must be properly organized into a cohesive essay. Here is a simple
structure to follow in organizing the contents.
•Mention the name of the author and the title of the work.
•Give a brief summary, including a description, background or context
of the work.
Introduct- •Indicate the elements you want to examine, and state the purpose of
ion your critique.

•Give a systematic and detailed assessment of the different elements of


the work, but make sure that your discussion and judgement will be
supported by specific details such as quotes or examples from the work
itself. (This is the main bulk of the critical essay, and it may run for
Body more than three paragraphs.)

•State your overall assessment of the story’s value, worth, and


significance (both positive and negative).
Conclu- •Give recommendations for improvement if necessary.
sion

6
Finally, here are some parting reminders that budding critics need to take
note of when writing:
 Avoid introducing your ideas by stating “I think” or “In my opinion”
because this weakens the analysis.
 Always introduce the work. Do not assume that the reader knows what
you are writing about and that you don’t need to mention some details
anymore.
 To be able to write a good critique and help readers understand the
story, you yourself should know well what you are writing about.

Now, go over this sample critique which is part of your English 10 Learner’s
Material “Celebrating Diversity through World Literature.” Read the essay, and
reflect if it is informative, in-depth and comprehensive enough to be a critique.

SAMPLE CRITIQUE
“Lee” published by Crime Factory (Posted by Abdulat 8/10/2008 12:46:00PM)

I recently finished a fiction anthology called “Lee.” The book features seventeen
short stories, all written by crime writers and inspired by Lee Marvin — his life, his
movies. The stories flow in chronological order with the first taking place in 1944 and
the last in 1987, just after Lee died. Frankly, I thought the concept was a little goofy,
and I didn’t really expect the book to be that good. I bought it only because its publisher,
Crime Factory, had published two of my short stories. I liked what they’d done in their
journal, and figured I’d check out what else they’ve brought to the world.
I am happy to admit that I was very wrong. Not only is every story in the collection
really good, but it turns out that the concept really worked. In a word, the book rocks!
It was fun to see how the different authors tackled the task of writing a Lee Marvin-
inspired story. I particularly liked the stories: “1966: Just Swell,” “Cameron Ashley,”
“1967: The Gun Hunter.” Eric Beetner’s novel The Devil Doesn’t Want Me has now
moved up to number three on my reading list, which hopefully means I’ll get to it in
June.
I feel good that in my own little way I’m associated with these writers tangentially.
Finishing “Lee” has also made me more interested in Lee Marvin’s movies. I
watched The Man who Shot Liberty Valence during a film class in college and was
blown away by his performance, but I don’t think I’d seen another one of his movies.
And I consider myself something of an old film buff, but I took a step forward correcting
this oversight last night by watching The Dirty Dozen — awesome!

Let’s try to critique this sample critique based on the concepts


previously presented.
 Does it mention the background and summary of the text? Yes, but it is
not enough to inform the readers what “Lee” is all about.
 Are the narrative elements extensively evaluated? No. There was no
evident attempt to analyze the plot, characters, and others. What is
obvious are the writer’s personal reactions to “Lee” and his failure to
support his judgement about the material. In other words, this sample
critique fails to make an in-depth evaluation of the text; hence, it is really
not informative.
 What would be the overall evaluation of this critique? It certainly has
many areas that need to be improved. The writer seems very familiar
with the material, and he could do a better critique of it.

7
What’s More
Activity #3: A CRITIQUE’S CRITIQUE
Read text in the box, and then answer the questions that follow. Write
your answers on a separate sheet of paper.

“The Duplicate War: A Review” by David Lowe


Critique by Robert Keating

(1)The most valuable portion of any critique is “What I didn’t like and
why.” (2)Unfortunately, there’s not much wrong with The Duplicate War: A
Review. (3)I will try to be as specific as possible with my praise so you’ll know
what you did right.
(4)The vehicle of an opera review to tell your tale is an excellent one. (5)I
have seen this approach before and it is very effective as long as it keeps
moving. (6)Your tale moved at a brisk (but not rushed) pace.
(7) “The photograph of his father in the wheelchair that had brought him
back from Vietnam could be dusted…” (8) The paragraph this line appears in is
an excellent example of characterization by setting; and the line I referenced is
the wonderful little which completes the scene and sheds a little light on who
Scott is.
(9) “The networks showed the tape over and over; he sat up drinking
strong coffee and watched Michael every hour until dawn.” (10)I think that
amending this line to end “…and watched Michael die every hour until dawn”
will add impact and help justify Scott’s actions later.
(11)This is an excellent story and should see publication. (12)It is on par
with what I see in the short science fiction markets.

____1. Under what genre is the critiqued material?


A. Fantasy B. Comedy C. Drama D. Science fiction
____2. What is the overall assessment of the critic about the material?
A. Positive B. Negative C. Ambivalent D. Not stated
____3. Which paragraphs clearly show the critic’s overall judgment?
A. 1 and 2 B. 2 and 3 C. 3 and 4 D. 1 and 5
____4. What story element was assessed in paragraph 2?
A. Plot B. Setting C. Characterization D. Theme
____5. What detail in a critic was sentence #10 an example of?
A. Summary C. Recommendation
B. Evidence D. Evaluation
____6. What is evidently lacking in this critique if it intends to inform
readers?
A. Summary C. Recommendation
B. Evidence D. Evaluation
____7. Which of the following is one of the good points in the essay?
A. The critic gave positive evaluation of the material.

8
B. The critic showed knowledge about the context of the material.
C. Specific examples from the text itself were mentioned in the
discussion.
D. All the things that the readers need to know about the text were
mentioned.
8-10. Based on what you learned from the lesson, how can this critique be
improved? (Answer in no more than three meaningful sentences.)
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

What I Have Learned


Activity #4: ACROS-TIQUE
Complete the acrostics of the word “CRITIQUE” by writing important
points about the topic. Write in complete sentence for each letter. (The first
and the last letters have given as example, but you may change them if you
wish to.)

C — Critiques are informative and objective evaluation of a work.


R

E — Evaluations are coupled with examples from the material itself.

9
What I Can Do
Activity #5: CRITIC’S CIRCLE
Read the short story on page 15 of this module, and then do a critical
analysis of it. Your critique will be rated based on the given rubric. Follow this
simplified format for your essay.
 Introduction: Mention the name of the author and the title of the work. Give a
brief summary of the work, and then indicate the elements you want to examine,
as well as the purpose of your critique.
 Body: Choose only three of the narrative elements discussed, and make sure to
cite specific examples to support your analysis or evaluation.
 Conclusion: State your overall assessment of the story’s value, worth, and
significance (both positive and negative). Give recommendations for improvement
if necessary.
Needs
Criteria Very Good (4-5) Good (3)
Improvement (2)
Introduction All the contents The contents are The introduction lacks
required are present, complete, but the the required content,
and the summary is summary could have and the summary is
well-written. It is been written better. poorly outlined. It is
attention-grabbing. not catchy at all.
Analysis There is excellent There is good There is insufficient
evaluation of the evaluation of the attempt to present the
text’s strengths and text’s strengths and weaknesses or
weaknesses. Clarity, weaknesses. strengths of the text.
originality and depth However, clarity, Also, the output
of thought about the originality and depth shows superficial
topic are also evident. of thought seem thinking about the
lacking. topic.
Supporting There is coherent Coherent The output lacks a
Evidence organization and organization and clear focus and
interesting development are organization, and the
development of evident, but several details lifted from the
analysis supported details and examples story seem random
with carefully chosen are not carefully and unrelated.
details and examples selected form the
from the story. story.
Conclusion The conclusion clearly The conclusion gives The critique does not
wraps up the entire a decent have a clear wrap up,
critique’s good and generalization of the and there isn’t any
bad points, and gives critique and an clear statement about
an overall evaluation overall evaluation. the evaluation of the
of the story. story read.
Grammar Sentences are clear Sentences are mostly Sentences are poorly
and and concise. Errors in clear and concise. structured, and the
Mechanics grammar and There are noticeable grammatical errors
punctuation are very errors, but they do are too many that it
minimal and not affect the clarity affects the
negligible. of the output. comprehensibility of
the essay.
Total Score
Adapted from https://www.cs.toronto.edu/~lczhang/csc290_20191/files/cr_rubric.pdf

10
Assessment
Activity #6: Multiple Choice
Choose the letter of the best answer, and write it on a separate sheet of paper.
1. Which of these terms is often used interchangeably with the word
“critique”?
A. Summary B. Synopsis C. Review D. Report
2. Which statement is not true about a critique?
A. It is a purely opinionated piece of writing about a story, novel,
film, etc.
B. It is usually done by experts or people with considerable
knowledge about the work.
C. It does not place emphasis on giving recommendations to
possible readers or viewers.
D. It is an in-depth evaluation or assessment of a piece of work
such as a short story or film.
3. Which of these story elements is not tackled in a critique?
A. Characterization B. Conflict C. Plot D. None of the above
4. Which of these is not an appropriate subject for critical analysis?
A. Films B. Novels C. Speeches D. Short
Stories
5. What information or details is usually included in a critique’s
introduction?
A. structure of the plot
B. authenticity of the conflict
C. significance of the dialogues
D. background or summary of the selection
6. Which of these questions should be asked when analyzing the
characters in a narrative?
A. Do we know enough about them to make them interesting and
relatable?
B. Are there equal number of male and female characters?
C. Who among the characters is likeable and who is not?
D. Why is the protagonist not a superhero material?
7. What detail can a critic use best to support his/her evaluation of a
story?
A. Opinions of those who read the story
B. Quotes from the story itself
C. Statements of the author
D. Reviews of other critics

For numbers 8-11, write TRUE if the statement is correct, and FALSE if
not.
________ 8. Critiques may follow different formats but they generally
have the same content or foci.
________ 9. A critique is intended primarily to point out the faults or

11
flaws in work.
________ 10. It is alright to not give a summary of the story critiqued
because the readers are most likely familiar with it
already.
________ 11. A critic is encouraged to write “I think…” or “In my
opinion…” in his critical essay.

For numbers 12-15, identify the correct order of these steps in writing a
critique by assigning the numbers 1 to 4.
_____ 12. Give recommendations as needed.
_____ 13. Give a short summary of the story.
_____ 14. Give an overall evaluation of the story.
_____ 15. State your analysis of the setting, characterization, plot, etc.

Additional Activity
Activity #7: SECOND OPINION
Using the same rubric in the previous activity, rate one of your
classmates’ critique, and justify the score you give by citing the essay’s
strengths and areas needing improvement. Do this on a separate sheet of
paper.

Classmate’s Name: ______________________________


Score/Rating: ______________
Strengths of the Critique:

Points for Improvement:

12
13
ADDITIONAL ACTIVITY ASSESSMENT WHAT I HAVE LEARNED
Answers may vary. 1. C Answers may vary.
2. A WHAT I CAN DO
3. D Answers may vary.
4. C
5. D
6. A
7. B
8. TRUE
9. FALSE
10. FALSE
11. FALSE
12. 4
13. 1
14. 3
15. 2
WHAT’S MORE WHAT’S NEW WHAT I KNOW
1. D 1. THEME 1. C
2. A 2. SETTING 2. A
3. D 3. CHARACTERIZATION 3. D
4. A 4. CONFLICT 4. C
5. C 5. DIALOGUE 5. D
6. A 6. A
7. C 7. B
8-10. Answers may vary. 8. TRUE
9. FALSE
10. FALSE
11. FALSE
12. 4
13. 1
14. 3
15. 2
ANSWER KEY
REFERENCES
Department of Education. 2015. Celebrating Diversity through World
Literature. Pasig City, Philippines: Rex Book Store, Inc.

Hunter College. n.d. “The Writing Process: Writing a Critique.” Accessed


January 15, 2021. http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/rwc/handouts/the-
writing-process-1/invention/Writing-a-Critique

Farland, David. 2017. “A Guide to Critiquing a Story: Seven Vital Elements


Every Story Must have.” Accessed January 15, 2021.
https://www.writersofthefuture.com/seven-vital-elements-every-
story-must-have/

QUT Website. n.d. “Writing a Critique.” Accessed January 18, 2021.


https://www.citewrite.qut.edu.au/write/critique.html

Southeastern Louisiana University. n.d. “Critical Analysis.” Accessed


January 18, 2021. https://www2.southeastern.edu/Academics/
Faculty/elejeune/critique.htm#:~:text=The%20purpose%20for%
20writing%20a,or%20evaluation%20of%20a%20text.

The Best Philippine Short Stories. n.d. “The Centipede by Rony V. Diaz.”
Accessed January 20, 2021. https://www.sushidog.com/bpss/
stories/centipede.htm

The Novel Factory. 2017, September 06. “How to do Fiction Critique


(Feedback) in a Writer’s Circle.” Accessed January 18, 2021.
http://www.novel-software.com/blog?article=how-to-do-fiction-
critique-(feedback)-in-a-writer’s-circle

Tucker, Kristine. n.d. “How to Criticize a Short Story in Literature.” Accessed


January 15, 2021. https://penandthepad.com/write-short-story-
3337.html
Yadav, Shailesh. 2017, February 26. “Key Difference-Critique vs Review.”
Accessed January 16, 2021. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-
difference-between-critique-and-review

14
THE CENTIPEDE
Rony V. Diaz
WHEN I saw my sister, Delia, beating the covey dispersed like seeds thrown in
my dog with a stick, I felt hate heave like the wind. I fired and my body shook with
a caged, angry beast in my chest. Out in the fierce momentary life of the rifle. I saw
the sun, the hair of my sister glinted like three pigeons flutter in a last convulsive
metal and, in her brown dress, she looked effort to stay afloat, then fall to the
like a sheathed dagger. Biryuk hugged the ground. The shot did not scare the dog. He
earth and screamed but I could not bound came to us, sniffing cautiously. He circled
forward nor cry out to my sister. She had around us until I snapped my fingers and
a weak heart and she must not be then he came me.
surprised. So I held myself, my throat “Not bad,” my father said grinning.
swelled, and I felt hate rear and plunge in “Three birds with one tube.” I went to the
its cage of ribs. brush to get the birds. The dog ambled
I WAS thirteen when my father first after me. He found the birds for me. The
took me hunting. All through the summer breast of one of the birds was torn. The
of that year, I had tramped alone and bird had fallen on a spot where the earth
unarmed the fields and forest around our was worn bare, and its blood was spread
farm. Then one afternoon in late July my like a tiny, red rag. The dog scraped the
father told me I could use his shotgun. blood with his tongue. I picked up the
Beyond the ipil grove, in a grass field birds and its warm, mangled flesh clung
we spotted a covey of brown pigeons. In to the palm of my hand.
the open, they kept springing to the air “You’re keen,” I said to the dog. “Here.
and gliding away every time we were Come here.” I offered him my bloody palm.
within range. But finally they dropped to He came to me and licked my palm clean.
the ground inside a wedge of guava trees. I gave the birds to my father. “May I
My father pressed my shoulder and I keep him, Father?” I said pointing to the
stopped. Then slowly, in a half-crouch, we dog. He put the birds in a leather bag
advanced. The breeze rose lightly; the which he carried strapped around his
grass scuffed against my bare legs. My waist.
father stopped again. He knelt down and Father looked at me a minute and then
held my hand. said: “Well, I’m not sure. That dog belongs
“Wait for the birds to rise and then to somebody.”
fire,” he whispered. “May I keep him until his owner comes
I pushed the safety lever of the rifle off for him?” I pursued.
and sighted along the barrel. The saddle of “He’d make a good pointer,” Father
the stock felt greasy on my cheek. The gun remarked. “But I would not like my son to
was heavy and my arm muscles twitched. be accused of dog-stealing.”
My mouth was dry; I felt vaguely sick. I “Oh, no!” I said quickly. “I shall return
wanted to sit down. him when the owner comes to claim him.”
“You forgot to spit,” my father said. “All right,” he said, “I hope that dog
Father had told me that hunters makes a hunter out of you.”
always spat for luck before firing. I spat Biryuk and I became fast friends.
and I saw the breeze bend the ragged, Every afternoon after school we went to
glassy threads of spittle toward the birds. the field to chase quails or to the bank of
“That’s good,” Father said. the river which was fenced by tall, blade-
“Can’t we throw a stone,” I whispered sharp reeds to flush snipes. Father was
fiercely. “It’s taking them a long time.” away most of the time but when he was
“No, you’ve to wait.” home he hunted with us.
Suddenly, a small dog yelping shrilly BIRYUK scampered off and my sister
came tearing across the brooding plain of flung the stick at him. Then she turned
grass and small trees. It raced across the about and she saw me.
plain in long slewy swoops, on outraged “Eddie, come here,” she commanded. I
shanks that disappeared and flashed approached with apprehension. Slowly,
alternately in the light of the cloud- almost carefully, she reached over and
banked sun. One of the birds whistled and twisted my ear.

15
“I don’t want to see that dog again in teeth, quivered a wide lace of froth. I ran
the house,” she said coldly. “That dog to the house yelling for Father.
destroyed my slippers again. I’ll tell Berto She came back from the hospital in the
to kill that dog if I see it around again.” city, pale and quiet and mean, drained, it
She clutched one side of my face with her seemed, of all emotions, she moved and
hot, moist hand and shoved me, roughly. acted with the keen, perversity and
I tumbled to the ground. But I did not cry deceptive dullness of a sheathed knife,
or protest. I had passed that phase. Now, concealing in her body that awful power
every word and gesture she hurled at me I for inspiring fear and pain and hate, not
caught and fed to my growing and restless always with its drawn blade but only with
hate. its fearful shape, defined by the sheath as
MY sister was the meanest creature I her meanness was defined by her body.
knew. She was eight when I was born, the Nothing I did ever pleased her. She
day my mother died. Although we destroyed willfully anything I liked. At
continued to live in the same house, she first, I took it as a process of adaptation, a
had gone, it seemed, to another country step of adjustment; I snatched and
from where she looked at me with crushed every seed of anger she planted in
increasing annoyance and contempt. me, but later on I realized that it had
One of my first solid memories was of become a habit with her. I did not say
standing before a grass hut. Its dirt floor anything when she told Berto to kill my
was covered with white banana stalks, monkey because it snickered at her one
and there was a small box filled with morning, while she was brushing her
crushed and dismembered flowers in one teeth. I did not say anything when she told
corner. A doll was cradled in the box. It Father that she did not like my pigeon
was my sister’s playhouse and I house because it stank and I had to give
remembered she told me to keep out of it. away my pigeons and Berto had to chop
She was not around so I went in. The fresh the house into kindling wood. I learned
banana hides were cold under my feet. how to hold myself because I knew we had
The interior of the hut was rife with the to put up with her whims to keep her calm
sour smell of damp dead grass. Against and quiet. But when she dumped my
the flowers, the doll looked incredibly butterflies into a waste can and burned
heavy. I picked it up. It was slight but it them in the backyard, I realized that she
had hard, unflexing limbs. I tried to bend was spiting me.
one of the legs and it snapped. I stared My butterflies never snickered at her
with horror at the hollow tube that was the and they did not smell. I kept them in an
leg of the doll. Then I saw my sister unused cabinet in the living room and
coming. I hid the leg under one of the unless she opened the drawers, they were
banana pelts. She was running and I knew out of her sight. And she knew too that my
she was furious. The walls of the hut butterfly collection had grown with me.
suddenly constricted me. I felt sick with a But when I arrived home, one afternoon,
nameless pain. My sister snatched the doll from school, I found my butterflies in a
from me and when she saw the torn leg can, burned in their cotton beds like
she gasped. She pushed me hard and I deckle. I wept and Father had to call my
crashed against the wall of the hut. The sister for an explanation. She stood
flimsy wall collapsed over me. I heard my straight and calm before Father but my
sister screaming; she denounced me in a tear-logged eyes saw only her harsh and
high, wild voice and my body ached with arrogant silhouette. She looked at me
fear. She seized one of the saplings that curiously but she did not say anything
held up the hut and hit me again and and Father began gently to question her.
again until the flesh of my back and thighs She listened politely and when Father had
sang with pain. Then suddenly my sister stopped talking, she said without rush,
moaned; she stiffened, the sapling fell heat or concern: “They were attracting
from her hand and quietly, as though a ants.”
sling were lowering her, she sank to the I RAN after Biryuk. He had fled to the
ground. Her eyes were wild as scud and on brambles. I ran after him, bugling his
the edges of her lips, drawn tight over her name. I found him under a low, shriveled

16
bush. I called him and he only whimpered. Right here. I nearly touched it with my
Then I saw that one of his eyes was hand. What do you think you would feel?”
bleeding. I sat on the ground and looked I did not answer. I squatted to look at
closer. The eye had been pierced. The stick the reptile. Its antennae quivered
of my sister had stabbed the eye of my dog. searching the tense afternoon air. I picked
I was stunned., For a long time I sat up a sliver of wood and prodded the
motionless, staring at Biryuk. Then I felt centipede. It uncoiled viciously. Its
hate crouch; its paws dug hard into the pinchers slashed at the tiny spear.
floor of its cage; it bunched muscles “I could carry it dead,” I said half-
tensed; it held itself for a minute and then aloud.
it sprang and the door of the cage crashed “Yes,” Berto said. “I did not kill him
open and hate clawed wildly my brain. I because I knew you would like it.”
screamed. Biryuk, frightened, yelped and “Yes, you’re right.”
fled, rattling the dead bush that sheltered “That’s bigger than the one you found
him. I did not run after him. last year, isn’t it?”
A large hawk wheeled gracefully above “Yes, it’s very much bigger.”
a group of birds. It flew in a tightening I stuck the sliver into the carapace of
spiral above the birds. the centipede. It went through the flesh
On my way back to the house, I passed under the red armor; a whitish liquid
the woodshed. I saw Berto in the shade of oozed out. Then I made sure it was dead
a tree, splitting wood. He was splitting the by brushing its antennae. The centipede
wood he had stacked last year. A mound did not move. I wrapped it in a
of bone-white slats was piled near his handkerchief.
chopping block When he saw me, he My sister was enthroned in a large
stopped and called me. chair in the porch of the house. Her back
His head was drenched with sweat. He was turned away from the door; she sat
brushed away the sweat and hair from his facing the window She was embroidering
eyes and said to me: “I’ve got something a strip of white cloth. I went near, I stood
for you.” behind her chair. She was not aware of my
He dropped his ax and walked into the presence. I unwrapped the centipede. I
woodshed. I followed him. Berto went to a threw it on her lap.
corner of the shed. I saw a jute sack My sister shrieked and the strip of
spread on the ground. Berto stopped and white sheet flew off like an unhanded
picked up the sack. hawk. She shot up from her chair, turned
“Look,” he said. around and she saw me but she collapsed
I approached. Pinned to the ground by again to her chair clutching her breast,
a piece of wood, was a big centipede. Its doubled up with pain The centipede had
malignantly red body twitched back and fallen to the floor.
forth. “You did it,” she gasped. “You tried to
“It’s large,” I said. kill me. You’ve health… life… you tried…”
“I found him under the stack I Her voice dragged off into a pain-stricken
chopped.” Berto smiled happily; he looked moan.
at me with his muddy eyes. I was engulfed by a sudden feeling of
“You know,” he said. “That son of a pity and guilt.
devil nearly frightened me to death” “But it’s dead!” I cried kneeling before
I stiffened. “Did it, really?” I said trying her. “It’s dead! Look! Look!” I snatched up
to control my rising voice. Berto was still the centipede and crushed its head
grinning and I felt hot all over. between my fingers. “It’s dead!”
“I didn’t expect to find any centipede My sister did not move. I held the
here,” he said. “It nearly bit me. Who centipede before her like a hunter
wouldn’t get shocked?” He bent and displaying the tail of a deer, save that the
picked up a piece of wood. centipede felt thorny in my hand.
“This wood was here,” he said and put
down the block. “Then I picked it up, like
this. And this centipede was coiled here.

17
For inquiries or feedback, please write of call:
Department of Education-Schools Division of CAR
(Office Address, Wangal, LTB)
Telefax:
Email Address:

You might also like