Republic of the Philippines

North Eastern Mindanao State University

Tagbina Campus
Tagbina, Surigao del Sur 8308
Email address: sdssutc2010@yahoo.com
Website: www.sdssu.edu.ph

Lesson 3
Importance of Purposeful Listening

Learning Outcomes:

1. define purposeful listening; and

2. distinguish effective from non- effective listening.

Purposeful Listening
Listening is an active process. It is the process of making meaning from what
is heard, and as such, has a critical function for learning. Although students spend
a large portion of their class time listening, it is a skill that might not be explicitly
taught (Tindall and Nisbet, 2008).

A process that focuses on teaching listening skills is active listening (Wegner,

2014). Active listening has three main foci. This first focus involves behaviour, that
is, what does my face and body do to demonstrate listening behaviours?
-Look at the speaker and make eye contact
-Use facial expressions to convey understandings
-Adopt an active listening stance
 The second focus involves paraphrasing what the speaker has said, and
checking for understandings. The third focus may include the asking of questions
to encourage the speakers to elaborate upon their talk.
An emphasis on listening in the classroom positions students as listeners who
have a central role in the communication process. The process of purposeful
listening can be taught from the early years of primary school.
The Importance of Active Listening

Active listening builds strong relationships and, while it may not come
naturally to many of us, it’s an invaluable communication skill.
Strong and effective communication skills are essential in a field where
emotions often reach critical mass. Professionals must be equipped to process
complex information intertwined with decision-making that can have a lifetime
impact. Surprisingly, one key aspect of communication is often overlooked or
underrated by professionals in this field, the power and impact of listening.
Listen

When asked, most professionals will say that they are good active listeners.
It’s surprising to realize how rarely people actually do attentively listen to one
another when interacting. We allow ourselves to be distracted, preoccupied by
other matters of importance, or thinking about what we’re going to say next. In
fact, one of the most difficult communication skills to learn is to give someone the
respect and consideration they deserve by being “fully present” and giving others
our full attention.

Listening has been shown to be essential to communicating respect for

another person. To test this claim, reflect on your own feelings. Consider a time
when you may have been talking with someone who interrupted you or
continually focused on what they wanted to express in the conversation. Maybe
it was clear that their mind was elsewhere and they weren’t at all “fully present”
with you. When we want to build a strong relationship with another person, our
ability and commitment to listening attentively and empathically is essential.
Not all listening is the same

Passive listening is little more than hearing. Passive listening is listening

without reacting: allowing someone to speak, without interrupting. Not doing
anything else at the same time, and yet not really paying attention to what’s
being said. Passive listening is one-way communication where the receiver
doesn’t provide feedback or ask questions and may or may not understand the
sender’s message.
 Active listening includes responses that demonstrate that you understand
what the other person is trying to tell you about his or her experience. This is a
communication technique that’s very different from the passive or unfocused
listening that we often adopt in everyday conversation.

When you accurately reflect back to a person what’s been said, you show
that you’ve been listening—not just hearing—and that you genuinely understand
the feeling/s or message/s they are trying to convey. This creates an environment
that allows the speaker to go deeper, and sometimes even to come to new
realizations. It’s the basis for trust and respect. Active listening is a conscious effort
that demands empathy, effort, attention, and lots of practice.

When faced with speaking to bereaved families, healthcare professionals

often express the fear of “saying the wrong thing.” This may reflect anxiety about
triggering intense emotions. Another concern is that we might feel inadequate in
our ability to offer comfort and support. And this is certainly understandable. In
reality, no words alone can relieve the family’s loss and pain. What is important to
remember is that by implementing active listening tools and techniques, you’ll be
able to provide an environment where families can safely talk about their
experiences and begin to come to terms with this life-changing event. Being
listened to increases people’s ability to rally their own coping skills and, at the
same time, provides comfort and healing in times of greatest need. Your
knowledge and skills may make all the difference to many families.

In Listening as a Skill
Becoming an effective
communicator is a dynamic
process and lifetime pursuit.
There is much, much more to
active listening and to the many
other skills that will help you
provide excellent services in
your chosen field and to
communicate effectively with
your team members. Active
listening builds strong
relationships and, while it may not come naturally to many of us, it’s an invaluable
communication skill. Becoming an excellent listener will take determination and
practice and it will be well worth it in both your professional and personal life.
 Barriers to Effective Listening
Most of us would like to think that we are good listeners. In other words, we
believe that we hear what someone is saying and are able to take it in and
interpret it correctly, before responding appropriately. Unfortunately, the sad truth
is that most of us overestimate our abilities in this area.
Research shows that we generally only listen with about 25% efficiency. This
means that about three-quarters of spoken communication is lost on the average
person. Instead of giving the speaker our full attention, we may be formulating a
reply, or making a judgement about what they are saying, or even being
distracted by what we’re going to have for dinner. This ineffective listening leads
to misunderstandings and a breakdown in communication.
Types of Ineffective Listening

1. Evaluative Listening-Evaluative listeners spend all their time evaluating

what you are saying, and making judgements about it. You can spot an
evaluative listener, because they will always respond with either agreement or
disagreement (or possibly both, in the form of ‘yes, but…’).
The big problem with these listeners is that they are hearing everything from
their own point of view. Everything is passed through a prism of their own
experiences and opinions. This means that they often miss critical information
simply because it does not fit with their view of the world.

The other problem is that speaker and listener can get into a negative spiral
of argument and counter-argument. Instead of building on each other’s
communication, they are engaged in knocking it down.
2. Assumptive Listening-Assumptive listeners make assumptions about the
speaker’s meaning or intention—and usually before the speaker has finished.

They may therefore finish other people’s sentences, or jump in with a

response before the speaker has really finished. Engaging with an assumptive
listener is hard work, because you constantly have to go back and explain your
meaning again because they have interpreted it incorrectly.
3. Self-protective Listening-Here, the listener is so wrapped up in their own
situation and/or emotional response to it that they simply have no brain-space to
hear or concentrate on anything else.
In other words, they are NOT really listening at all, and they are certainly not
engaging with what anyone else says. It is a moot point whether this should
actually be described as ‘listening’ at all—except that these listeners will often be
nodding and smiling, and generally looking like they are engaging with what is
being said. However, when they come to respond, it will be obvious that they
have not really heard or taken on board anything that is said.
These listeners often simply repeat their negative stories over and over
again—and with increasing levels of negative emotion. The only way out is to
break the spiral.
4. Judgmental Listening-Judgmental listeners will constantly criticize what
speakers are saying. This type of listening is similar to evaluative listening, but
usually with more negativity and less opportunity to respond. These listeners often
have preconceived ideas about the speaker (for example, bias or prejudice
based on how they look, or their background). This may prevent them from
considering the speaker’s ideas with an open mind.
This type of listening tends to result in the speaker shutting down, and
refusing to provide any more information. Being constantly criticized quickly
becomes unpleasant.
5. Affirmative Listening-Affirmative listening is more or less the polar opposite
of judgmental listening. Affirmative listeners only ‘hear’ messages with which they
agree. They therefore only listen for points that they can support, and not those
that show different opinions.
Having an affirmative listener is at first quite pleasant. They tend to agree
with you, which is nice. However, after a while, you realize that they only agree
with some points—and possibly not very important ones—but refuse to engage
with anything else.
The problem here is that these people only listen for themselves. They want
their opinion to be validated—and have no real interest in anyone else. This
quickly gets one-sided and tiresome, especially if you are genuinely interested in
a debate that explores different perspectives.
6. Defensive Listening-A defensive listener takes everything that is said as a
personal attack.
These people therefore feel the need to defend themselves against
everything, and to justify everything that they say. They often use the phrase ‘Yes,
but…’, because they have no interest in building on any other communication—
only to justify themselves. They also find it hard to explore other points of view,
because anything different is a threat.
7. Authoritative Listening-Authoritative listeners listen solely in order to
advise. They always know best, and are always ready to tell you what to do.
 You can often spot authoritative listeners by the use of the words ‘You
should…’ or ‘You need…’ in their sentences.

A Common Thread?
You may have spotted that all these types of ineffective listening are
related to the listener’s attitude. They may perceive a problem with the speaker,
or simply have a ‘mental block’ about the subject.
Whatever the cause, their pattern of thinking is not conducive to genuine,
effective listening.
It is affecting how they relate to other people, and the messages that they
hear in other people’s communication. These attitudes may have many causes,
such as:
Preconceived ideas or bias

These mean that you are not open to other people’s ideas and opinions.
Biases may be personal or cultural. For example, in some cultures, ideas are only
considered acceptable from those in senior positions. You may not trust the
speaker on a personal level, and therefore find it hard to be open to their ideas
on an intellectual level.

Previous experiences
These may affect your expectations about people and/or topics or
situations. We are all influenced by previous experiences in life. We respond to
people based on personal appearance, how initial introductions or welcomes
were received and/or previous interpersonal encounters. This may affect how you
approach an individual. You may also find that someone says something that
reminds you of a previous experience, and you start to think about that instead
of listening. The key here is to consider whether your previous experience is going
to be helpful—and if not, set it aside.
Having a closed mind.
We all have ideals and values that we believe to be correct. It can
therefore be difficult to listen to contradictory views. However, the key to effective
listening and interpersonal skills more generally is the ability to open your mind,
and take time to understand why others think about things differently to you—
and then use this information to gain a better understanding of the speaker.
 Common Physical Barriers to Listening
These types of ineffective listening generally relate to patterns of thinking.
However, there may also be physical barriers to listening.
These affect your physical ability to concentrate on a speaker and/or to
hear their words or message. They include, but are not limited to:
Too much noise around you. It can be hard to listen effectively if there is too
much background noise. This can happen at a party, or in a crowded room, for
example, but may also include having the television on in the background.
Trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time. There is some
overlap here with background noise, because it could include having the
television or radio on while attempting to listen to somebody talk, being on the
phone to one person and talking to another person in the same room, or simply
trying to talk to two people at once.
You are distracted by something else in your environment. Sadly, our brains
are fairly fickle things, and easily distracted. A movement out of the window, or a
stray thought, can derail listening. Your smartphone showing you a notification
can be a major distraction—which is why it is advisable to put it away if someone
wants to speak to you. Many people also find that they can distract themselves,
for example, by doodling, or fiddling with something. However, for others, this can
be a way of helping them to focus by distracting their hands, but not their brains.

You find the communicator attractive or unattractive and you pay more
attention to how you feel about them and their physical appearance than to what
they are saying. This can also apply when someone has an accent: you may find
yourself listening to the cadence, and not the words or meaning.
You are not interested in the topic/issue being discussed and become
bored. This rapidly leads to you becoming distracted and ceasing to pay
attention.
Feeling unwell or tired, hungry, thirsty or needing to use the toilet, too hot or
too cold. Physical discomfort is a huge distraction. It is almost impossible to
concentrate effectively when you feel uncomfortable in some way.

Being stressed about something else that is happening in your life. When
you have a lot going on in your life, it is much harder to calm your internal dialogue
and simply listen to someone else.

Being on the phone rather than speaking face-to-face. A considerable

amount of communication is in body language and facial expression. You
therefore have to concentrate much harder on the phone, to fully ‘hear’ the
speaker’s message. When you are speaking on the phone, it may be helpful to
emphasize your tone of voice more, to ensure that your message is clearly heard.
If you don’t really understand what someone is saying, perhaps because of
their choice of words, or because they have a strong accent. Under these
circumstances, it is tempting to just ‘switch off’. However, instead, you should try
to listen harder, and ask for clarification if you don’t understand.

Signs of Ineffective Listening

Signs of possible inattention while listening include:
Lack of eye contact with the speaker. Listeners who are engaged with the
speaker tend to give eye contact. Lack of eye contact can, however, also be a
sign of shyness.

An inappropriate posture, such as slouching, leaning back or ‘swinging’ on

a chair, leaning forward onto a desk or table and/or a constantly shifting posture.
People who are paying attention tend to lean slightly towards the speaker.

Being distracted - fidgeting, doodling, looking at a watch, yawning.

Inappropriate expressions and lack of head nods. Often when a listener is
engaged with a speaker, they nod their head. This is usually an almost
subconscious way of encouraging the speaker and showing attention. Lack of
head nods can mean the opposite: that listening is not happening. The same can
be true of facial expressions. Attentive listeners use smiles as feedback
mechanisms and to show attention.

Having a ‘faraway’ look may be a sign that someone is daydreaming.

However, it is important to be aware that these do not always follow. For
example, sometimes people with specific learning difficulties such as autism may
find it harder to maintain eye contact. Those with attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder (ADHD) may use doodling or ‘fidget toys’ as a way to help them to
concentrate.

You may also detect ineffective listening in other ways, and especially in
how someone responds.

For example, a sudden change in topic is likely to be a sign of inattention.

When a listener is distracted, they may suddenly think about something else that
is not related to the topic of the speaker and attempt to change the conversation
to their new topic. Jumping in with advice is also often a sign that someone is not
properly listening, because it means that they have been thinking about how to
respond, rather than taking the message on board.

The 10 Principles of Listening

1. Stop Talking
2. Prepare Yourself to Listen
3. Put the Speaker at Ease
4. Remove Distractions
5. Empathize
6. Be Patient
7. Avoid Personal Prejudice
8. Listen to the Tone
9. Listen for Ideas – Not Just Words
10. Wait and Watch for Non-Verbal Communication
Distinguish effective from non-effective listening. Justify your answer (50pts.)