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    The document is a student's analysis of the weaknesses in an introduction paragraph and their proposed improvements. The original introduction lacked an attention-grabbing element and had a weak thesis statement. The student suggests adding an anecdote, fact, opposing view, or thought-provoking question to engage the reader. They also propose rewriting the thesis as a stronger statement about the effects of spanking as a disciplinary method and alternative approaches that don't cause harm.

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    The document is a student's analysis of the weaknesses in an introduction paragraph and their proposed improvements. The original introduction lacked an attention-grabbing element and had a weak thesis statement. The student suggests adding an anecdote, fact, opposing view, or thought-provoking question to engage the reader. They also propose rewriting the thesis as a stronger statement about the effects of spanking as a disciplinary method and alternative approaches that don't cause harm.

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    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    7 views1 page

    Introduction Activity.

    Uploaded by

    Justine O'Gisoure
    The document is a student's analysis of the weaknesses in an introduction paragraph and their proposed improvements. The original introduction lacked an attention-grabbing element and had a weak thesis statement. The student suggests adding an anecdote, fact, opposing view, or thought-provoking question to engage the reader. They also propose rewriting the thesis as a stronger statement about the effects of spanking as a disciplinary method and alternative approaches that don't cause harm.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    of 1

    Hong 1

    Jianyu Hong

    English 101

    March 16, 2019

    Prof. Hofmann

    Introduction Activity.

    Identified weaknesses and Solutions.

    The introduction lacks attention catching clause. For instance, an anecdote would have

    introduced the topic or a fact that relates to the kind of discipline applied to children. The writer

    could have used techniques such as an opposing view, a thought-provoking question or an

    anecdote. Another point is that the thesis statement is weak because it sounds like an

    announcement.

    Proposed Introduction.

    Discipline is a crucial aspect that influences the growth and character of children.

    Spanking is one method of physiological punishment which is quickly applied. It enables in

    temporarily inhibiting an unfavorable behavior displayed by children. Some people think it’s

    okay to spank their children for punishment whereas a portion differs with the act. Physiological

    punishment serves to recruit the positive or negative emotions of the child. Accordingly, there

    are better ways to teach discipline which done involve long-lasting effects. Spanking children

    can be harmful because it can cause psychological trauma, and leave lasting physical scars.

    Arguably, different spanking aspects result in relevant physical torture to children.

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