Class code: 222_71ENG610063_19

Student’s name: HUỲNH NGỌC PHƯƠNG DUYÊN

Peer editor’s name: NGUYỄN VŨ MAI THIÊN

Date: 27/2/2023

WRITING ASSIGNMENT – LESSON 11

Unit: 8
Topic: Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines
to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to
reduce traffic congestion.

 1st draft

While many people believe that the government should spend money on building train and
subway lines to reduce traffic congestion, others think that building more and wider roads is
the better way to reduce traffic congestion. This essay will examine the points of view on
either side of the debate, and then I will give my own opinion.
On the one hand, every government should unquestionably strive to improve roads in order to
reduce traffic congestion. Firstly, especially in metropolitan centers, the road system is unable
to handle the growing in the number of automobiles. For instance, the growth of metropolises
has forced many people to commute further, necessitating the construction of additional
roadways to increase traffic flow. Secondly, an urgent concern for the suburbs is the increase
in car traffic. Building interstate may therefore help cars avoid having to deal with the
increasing number of cars.
On the other hand, I think that building new metro and train lines is a much better strategy to
address the issue of traffic congestion. For one, public transportation contributes to
environmental protectina much better strategy to address the issue of traffic congestion. For
one, public transportation contributes to environmental protection. To give an example,
consider how much tiresome pollution is constantly emit into the air and how it can be
decreased by using public transportation. The construction of train and subway lines is another
factor because it is a more practicable course of action. To put it another way, there isn't
enough room in cities to build additional or bigger roadways.
In conclusion, even though building more and wider roads helps to relieve traffic congestion, it
appears to me that supporting public transportation like train and subway lines is also
important because of their efficiency and environmental friendly.

 Self-assessment (checklist)

Content SELF-
ASSESSMENT
Task Response  
Is the essay at least 250 words? Y 
Is the topic identified in the introduction? Y
Does the thesis statement discuss both views as being asked?  Y
Is each paragraph related to the topic?  Y
Does the conclusion summarize both views and state the writer’s opinion?  Y
Coherence & Cohesion  
Are there one introduction, two body paragraphs, and one conclusion in the Y 
essay?
Is there a clear topic sentence in each paragraph?  Y
Are relevant examples and/or other supporting details (explanation, reasons,  Y
…) included?
Are the sentences well linked together using appropriate cohesive devices?  Y
Lexical Resource  
Has the question been suitably paraphrased?   Y
Has consistent repetition of vocabulary been avoided? Y 
Have spelling and word-choice errors been checked?  Y
Is there sufficient use of academic vocabulary?  Y
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the topic?  Y
Grammar Range and Accuracy
Has a range of simple, compound, and complex sentences been used? Y 
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb agreement been checked?  Y
Are most sentences error-free?  Y
Has correct punctuation been used?  Y

 Peer assessment (checklist)

Content PEER Comments/ Suggestions

ASSESSMENT
Task Response    
Is the essay at least 250 words? Y
Is the topic identified in the introduction? Y  
Does the thesis statement discuss both views as  Y  
being asked?
Is each paragraph related to the topic? Y  
Does the conclusion summarize both views and Y  
state the writer’s opinion?
Coherence & Cohesion  
Are there one introduction, two body paragraphs, Y  
and one conclusion in the essay?
Is there a clear topic sentence in each paragraph? Y  
Are relevant examples and/or other supporting Y  
details (explanation, reasons, …) included?
Are the sentences well linked together using Y  
appropriate cohesive devices?
Lexical Resource  
Has the question been suitably paraphrased? Y  
Has consistent repetition of vocabulary been Y  
avoided?
Have spelling and word-choice errors been N  Protectina => protection
checked?
Is there sufficient use of academic vocabulary? Y  
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the Y  
topic?
Grammar Range and Accuracy  
Has a range of simple, compound, and complex Y  
sentences been used?
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb agreement N Interstate => interstates
been checked?
Emit => emitted

Friendly => friendliness

in order to => to  

growing in the number of

=> growth in the number
of
Are most sentences error-free? Y  
Has correct punctuation been used?  Y  

 Final version

While many people believe that the government should spend money on building train and
subway lines toreduce traffic congestion, others think that building more and wider roads is
the better way to reduce traffic congestion. This essay will examine the points of view on
either side of the debate, and then I will give my own opinion.
On the one hand, every government should unquestionably strive to improve roads to reduce
traffic congestion. First off, especially in metropolitan centers, the road system is unable to
handle the growing number of automobiles. For instance, the growth of metropolises has
forced many people to commute further, necessitating the construction of additional
roadways to increase traffic flow. Second, an urgent concern for the suburbs is the increase
in car traffic. Building interstates may therefore help cars avoid having to deal with the
increasing number of cars.
On the other hand, I think that building new metro and train lines is a much better strategy to
address the issue of traffic congestion. For one, public transportation contributes to
environmental protection much better strategy to address the issue of traffic congestion. For
one, public transportation contributes to environmental protection. To give an example,
consider how much tiresome pollution is constantly emitted into the air and how it can be
decreased by using public transportation. The construction of train and subway lines is
another factor because it is a more practicable course of action. To put it another way, there
isn't enough room in cities to build additional or bigger roadways.
In conclusion, even though building more and wider roads helps to relieve traffic congestion,
it appears to me that supporting public transportation like train and subway lines is also
important because of their efficiency and environmental friendliness.

 Rubric for grading

 Link Sharepoint/ Onedrive/ Google drive your collaboration space (optional)